00:00:08 Speaker 1: But I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. But you're a guess to my home. You gotta come to me empty, And I said, no guests. Your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff. So how did you dare to surbey me? 00:00:49 Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Bridgard Wyneker. We're in the backyard. We love to be back here. Who knows how much longer we'll be in the backyard, but we're in going at I'm ready to admit that a connection in between Los Angeles and New York is not a good idea. I thought that was a good idea for a little while. I was stopping for lunch in Dallas Fort Worth. Every time I go, it's blown up in my face almost every time, and I'm ready to leave that behind. So that's the that's the recent thing we're coming away from in my life, and kind of a conclusion to the dishwasher saga that everyone's been kind of hanging on to every detail. I now own a new dishwasher. Oh okay, let's get into the podcast. I'm very excited about today's guest. It's h Allen Scott. 00:01:41 Speaker 3: What's happening to the backyard. 00:01:43 Speaker 2: Well, there's a new studio. Oh, and so the network has a studio. 00:01:48 Speaker 3: Yes, I do know of this studio which. 00:01:51 Speaker 2: We haven't had access to for I guess four years. 00:01:55 Speaker 3: Is this ado? 00:01:56 Speaker 2: It's a new studio. The last time we recorded in a studio was the old one in January of twenty twenty. Well, actually, I think March ninth, twenty twenty, I'm pretty sure. So it was real close to everything completely collapsed. Yeah, and then they got rid of that studio and now there's a new one. We'll see. 00:02:16 Speaker 3: How do you prefer studio? And would you enjoy to stay in the backyard? 00:02:20 Speaker 2: Well, I simply love walking into the backyard for my commute. 00:02:22 Speaker 3: That is nice, and I have a lovely home. Although I was telling you I would worry about being murdered here. 00:02:27 Speaker 2: And I do all the time. As I told you, and I've relayed this to the listener as well. We did have a prowler. Yeah, and god knows where he is now. He could be in the attic. Well, he could be in the Crawls space. 00:02:38 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's that story of that woman who slept in the closet. I think she was in Japan, maybe I forget, but she slept in the top of a closet for and she only came out during the day when they left for like months. 00:02:48 Speaker 2: This is kind of like a parasite situation. 00:02:50 Speaker 3: Yes, very similar to parasite, but it was a real life one. And this was years ago now and you can look it up online. I don't know all the details, so I can't verify everything. 00:02:58 Speaker 2: She was in any detail. 00:03:00 Speaker 3: She was in the home, and I believe it was a she. It might have been a man too, who knows. These days, we'd about to do anything. We accept everything and and but yeah, no, that she was living there. 00:03:10 Speaker 2: Wow, but how did they do? You remember how they discovered her? 00:03:13 Speaker 3: I think a camera. I think they put up a camera because I think they noticed weird things, like it was small things, but they were very good about concealing. 00:03:21 Speaker 2: Wow. 00:03:21 Speaker 3: There. 00:03:22 Speaker 2: They probably just thought it was a very polite raccoon. 00:03:24 Speaker 3: Or probably I would be horrible, like trying to hide in a house because I'm already like I'm a very large person, but I like I'm clumsy at the same time, so my largeness and then when drag I'm even bigger, and so like it's I become this clumsy, loud of not even walking through a crowd, like my coat will trip things over, like I will literally, and my boyfriend be like, your coat, your bag, everything is making things knock over, and I'm like, it's not my problem, these are in my way. Then I can't deal with it. I'm sorry. 00:03:51 Speaker 2: I would love to find out that you had been living secretly in my home in drag for months. 00:03:55 Speaker 3: That would be just smelly and horrible. It would be smelly and horrible. You never want to drag after four hours in a private room because it smells. 00:04:03 Speaker 2: It smells. You've just been in my closet for years. Yes, I want to. 00:04:07 Speaker 3: Go back to the closet, especially because we're recording during Pride month and that's desperately needing to be in a closet. 00:04:12 Speaker 2: We've all got to go back into the club. Do you do any of that Pride stuff? 00:04:16 Speaker 3: Yeah? 00:04:16 Speaker 2: I don't do anything, even out. Any celebration is just not something I do. 00:04:21 Speaker 3: It's too much. Unless it's on zoom. I'm not going to your party. I don't have the energy. I really don't. I was telling someone the other day, my idea of a great float is just a it's a nice float with those circle wicker chairs, you know, with the cushions, like the old school ones from the eighties. Of course, we're all reading books. There's stacks of books and magazines everywhere. Melissa Etharges come to my window is playing and nobody's talking or waving. We are just reading people magazine. 00:04:44 Speaker 2: Kind of driving past like open fields. Yeah, A Gelson's there, a Gelson's. There are actually nobody people. There's no one like watching and screaming. 00:04:52 Speaker 3: No one is even supporting you. But that is pride to me. Just leave me alone and let me read my magazine. 00:04:57 Speaker 2: That's my entire pride expense. I mean, I'm support everyone everyone to be naked on the streets screaming. I simply can't be there. 00:05:07 Speaker 3: I just can't do it. 00:05:08 Speaker 2: Oh, within five minutes, I'll be ready for an. 00:05:11 Speaker 3: I was actually worried about because I have never been to your home before. It's lovely, but I'm not an outdoors person like that, and I was I mean, in California, when you're in the shade, it's like there's a c So it's fine. I feel very comfortable here, but I was worried that there would be direct suns somewhere. 00:05:26 Speaker 2: Oh well, look, can you imagine? 00:05:28 Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, I mean saying I've been dead years. The only hand that I have is from Bronzer, Like I don't have there's no sun hits the skin. 00:05:34 Speaker 2: It's an impossibility for me. Yeah. No, have you been sunburned in the last ten years, really sunburned? 00:05:40 Speaker 3: Yeah? I have? 00:05:42 Speaker 2: Yeah, but what led you to that? 00:05:43 Speaker 3: Was? 00:05:44 Speaker 2: Well? Or was it? It? 00:05:45 Speaker 3: Often is? This is crazy where my boyfriend and I are big Disney people, and we randomly will go to Disneyland sometimes, and I have a whole process to leave the house. I have, like you know, sunscreen and makeup, and like, oh, there's a whole thing, not just even with drags, even as a rice. Like there's a process for me to leave the home that I make more complicated than it needs to be. And I will leave the home without putting on the sunscreen on my arms and stuff. I'll put it on my face always my face. The face will be protected, like I will be eighty three years old. My face will look good, but the rest of me will be decrectible with trees exactly. And I'm fine with that because that's what like, you know, Mumo's are for But I yeah, that happened to Disney. It happens to Disney a lot, actually, And. 00:06:24 Speaker 2: You had gone oh so, but you hit Your face was protected at Disney face, but you had forgot and. 00:06:28 Speaker 3: Just the back gets burned. The arms get burned, the back of the legs, the thighs get burned sometimes. 00:06:34 Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, I guess I'm not in shorts often enough to get my legs burned. 00:06:38 Speaker 3: I live in shorts. 00:06:39 Speaker 2: I need to. I mean, it's summertime. Now it's time for me to break them out. 00:06:42 Speaker 3: I wish shorts all year long. My good friend, famous drag queen Kimchi Her and I often talk about always like literally twenty four seven three sixty five, always. 00:06:51 Speaker 2: Short shorts all the time, even in like deep January, even. 00:06:55 Speaker 3: In deep January, I will be wearing shorts because I have a coat on. I'm fine, My legs are not cold. No, I'm not. But also I'm a fat person, so like the idea of being cold to me, it's like being hungry. It's very foreign. I don't it's not my thing, you know what I mean? 00:07:08 Speaker 2: Have you been a lifelong shorts person? 00:07:11 Speaker 3: Not a lifelong short because I lived in New York for a long time before moving to Los Angeles, so there it's ridiculous to wear shorts right like during the winter. But here I can get away with it all a year, and I'm actually pretty comfortable. Even this weekend, I'm going to a funeral. Everything's fine, but I'm going. 00:07:24 Speaker 2: To the person at the funeral. 00:07:26 Speaker 3: I'm worried about what I'm gonna wear because I can't wear shorts to a funeral. Although it's a very casual family, so maybe I can't. 00:07:31 Speaker 2: I feel like a nice pair of shorts if they repleace. 00:07:33 Speaker 3: So I have a beautiful blouse that I'm gonna wear, and I have a bag. I mean, my bag is going to be brought us, so like if anything that's gonna say, hey, I'm here for this funeral. I look, I put myself together, but I'm wearing shorts. These are my life, right. 00:07:43 Speaker 2: I feel like, as long as it's not too short of a short, you could do it at a. 00:07:46 Speaker 3: Few I never wear short shorts. No one needs to see that. Nobody. I'm sure people would love to see that, they really don't. I went it was my good friend, you know, Ellio Cleer. Yeah, it was his birthday the night, and he wanted to go roller skating, which is ridiculous because we're all above forty. And we went roller skating, and my boyfriend really loves roller skating. I don't, but I went for my boyfriend's sake so he wouldn't be alone on the thing. He was basically like a triple A thing where he was just skating and I was being towed, you know, like he was just holding me as we went. And uh and but Elliott was in short shorts and skate and yes, and it blew me away. Elliott has fantastic legs, but like, I don't think short shorts should be out in public anywhere that isn't anybody that isn't near a beach or perhaps a gym situation. 00:08:29 Speaker 2: Wow, this is fair. 00:08:30 Speaker 3: I just don't think short short. I know, I'm sure it's positive, but not short short. I'm not st hearing there's a there's an I'll bring my ruler out. I'll do the old school cat. 00:08:41 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm short is too short for you. 00:08:43 Speaker 3: I don't know the whole inches thing, which is why I've been, you know, very successful in dating. I'm just like anything's good for me. It looks big enough, but I don't know. I'm such a stick Why am I? Why am I sounding like a New York stick comic who's like sixty years old skills? 00:08:56 Speaker 2: I know I'm not that. 00:08:57 Speaker 3: I'm not that person, but I don't know the length situation. But I would say, like if it if it's mid thive thig, that's probably okay. It can't It needs to stop where the thigh spreads. You know what I mean, Like you know how like when you said, I mean, I don't know if you've experienced this, but like I have expanding hips, and when I expand the right here is where it stops expanding, which is probably like four inches above my knee. So I would say four inches above your knee, that's where that's the short, short stoppage. It needs to stop there. 00:09:28 Speaker 2: I feel like that. I mean that is basically pilgrim ware. 00:09:31 Speaker 3: Well, because you sweat your thighs sweat, so when you're sitting on a chair and it's above that four inch mark, you're gonna have some thigh sweat. And then you get into a situation like on the New York subway where if you're wearing like if you have butt sweat, right, and it's summertime and you stand up and you have the outline of your butt on the chair, so you do that weird slide thing to like wipe the sweat off the seat to get it off. That's I know I should, but like I feel like it's it's not hygienic. 00:09:57 Speaker 2: I mean, but what is hygienic on the subway? What are we talking about? 00:10:00 Speaker 3: There almost hygienic anywhere somewhere fast days, Yes, exactly. 00:10:04 Speaker 2: I mean, I mean I guess now that I say that, it's like in a short short, what if you end up in a public restroom, you want as much of your leg covered as possible. 00:10:11 Speaker 3: It's for your shrue. That's very true. 00:10:14 Speaker 2: So now I'm wondering, I'm second guessing everything I've ever done. 00:10:17 Speaker 3: I have I wear shorts that are often cut off, and oftentimes I have the little straggleies that like hang below. You know. Sometimes when I'm on when I'm in the restroom and I pull down my pants, I always go to a stall, like I'll never go to a urinal because straight men they see nails and they see me and they're like, we can't stand next to this person. So I go to a stall. But because I do that, my shorts will go down a little bit and the little straggley sometimes will like get on the toilet. Oh and there's been a moment where I've pulled my pants up and I felt something wet and it's disgusting. But you have to just power through. That's what New York. That's the gift of New York. Powering through feeling like you have pissed on me. Power, that's what New York is given. 00:10:54 Speaker 2: Just filthy. Yes, I mean that is an interest. I was there a few days ago and I it occurred maybe like I smell but everyone here, I mean it's a very accepted thing that we're all sweating constantly. 00:11:09 Speaker 3: Are you a cologne person? 00:11:10 Speaker 2: Not at all? 00:11:10 Speaker 3: Oh see, I'm a layer. I'm a layered person. You can smell me now, I'm sure you can smell something lovely. Yeah it's me. It's Gucci. Well it's Gucci. And then there's dire on the wrist. But yes, yes, and I do have some doom malone on too. 00:11:22 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:11:23 Speaker 3: So like I layer, And are those. 00:11:26 Speaker 2: Those body parts where it's always is, do you have like a map? Actually? 00:11:30 Speaker 3: I do? I put so On my neck, it's always either my Gucci Bloom it's a Bloom perfume or it's Glossier. On my wrist it's always uh Dire. And on my clothes it's always Dr Malone. 00:11:42 Speaker 2: Walk me through this logic. 00:11:43 Speaker 3: It's just the sense that I love, but they don't. I find that the doom alone doesn't work anywhere outside of like on my clothes. Oh you know what I mean, because I put it on my hair and I put it on my skin before, and it doesn't really work the same way. Whereas when I put Gucci on my skin. There's something about the oils in my skin that just makes it go high. I'm here, you know, like smell me. 00:12:03 Speaker 2: I mean it's working. It's not like an overpowering smell. I just feel like you. 00:12:06 Speaker 3: Could be lying. 00:12:07 Speaker 2: I'm absolutely not lying. Just a moment ago, I was like, Oh, it feels it feels more fragrant out here than you. And I feel like the word fragrant is bad flor no fragrance. 00:12:16 Speaker 3: I think I like the word fragrant. 00:12:18 Speaker 2: I think that G is too hard for what we're describing. 00:12:20 Speaker 3: That's true, it does sound like a condition, and I don't think I'm like I don't smell. I don't feel like I smell bad. But even if I did smell bad, or for I was to if I were too much like I do want to be that old lady who like you can smell coming like that is. Yes, I know this. I know that's where I'm going in my life, and I'm probably already there, and I'm actually totally fine with it. 00:12:40 Speaker 2: It's like, uh, Pepelli but in reverse. 00:12:44 Speaker 3: He just did an interview I think it was with interview or something where she said she wanted to smell like a grandma, Like that's her favorite perfume scent is smelling like a grandma. And that's partly why I like Joe Malone so much, is because even though that is a very expense, I mean, it's expensive perfume not to practice, but I feel like I have to compensate because I feel like I'm the least famous guest you've ever had, so I had to talk about I mentioned having a product bag I had alone perfume. 00:13:08 Speaker 2: I'm really compensated the car that dropped them. 00:13:13 Speaker 3: But no, the Joe alone has a grandma he sent to it, and it feels I just. 00:13:19 Speaker 2: But I'm not smelling. I'm not sensing Grandma, and apologies to Grandma's everywhere, but I feel like the Grandma send is often a very powdery Uh yeah, it's like it's a thing that you have to really breathe through. 00:13:31 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's masking something like something is being masked that is either a condition, perhaps cancer. Maybe it's like that World War Z movie where like, you know, the zombies could smell cancer. 00:13:41 Speaker 2: And that's why I didn't realize that's what that movie. 00:13:44 Speaker 3: I saw that movie. So I've had cancer before, and so when I saw that movie, like a couple of years after I got out of chemo, and I realized at the end Brad Pitt like shot himself up basically with like an illness, like a terminal illness, like a cancer or something, right, and the people who had those illnesses the zombie didn't go after And so be fine in this zombie apocalypse. 00:14:04 Speaker 2: Be a king. 00:14:04 Speaker 3: I would be a king if I'd be a king and covered in JOm alone and everyone would be dying, and I'd get all the jumb alone and there's this one lady at the Century City JOm alone store who is a bitch, And I would go into that store after the zombie apocalypse, and I would take all of the perfumes. 00:14:18 Speaker 2: Those people are so intimidating too. You really are perfume cologne counter people. Yes, I can't approach. 00:14:24 Speaker 3: There's too much. I mean I had approaching people in general and shopping situations. I like to just get in and do my thing and leave. I'm not a big like converse with the person selling me something which I know they're making commission and I get it, and I will gladly say that you helped me if it gets you the commission. You're kind of fine to do that, of course, but I don't want you to communicate with me back off. 00:14:43 Speaker 2: Is there a lot of up selling in the colone market? 00:14:45 Speaker 3: Oh? 00:14:46 Speaker 2: Yeah, Like what does that mean? It's like, oh, you want do you want another bottle? 00:14:49 Speaker 3: They're looking for like the notes and they want you to like. I mean, they want you to be impressed by whatever the potential new fragrance or the thing or the notes in this one. If you liked this one, you might like this one and then they can sell you. It's it's like a car salesman situation. 00:15:02 Speaker 2: I know, but I feel like you're ultimately only gonna end up with one bottle. 00:15:06 Speaker 3: I know, but it's it's exciting. 00:15:08 Speaker 2: Accessories that they try to get you. 00:15:10 Speaker 3: And see, I don't even need the accessories because there is something and maybe this is just me, Maybe this is just like maybe this is the dry queen of me. But there is something about like spraying that on right before you leave the house, and you know, like I got my bag around my body, I got my perfume on, I got my keys in my hand, and I got some sky, I got some gum in my bag. I could do anything. I could literally do anything, Like I literally leave feeling like the world is my oyster and I'm driving a Kia. 00:15:39 Speaker 2: Like you know, and it's but it's also very considerate of you. I mean, a nice smelling person is such a lovely thing. 00:15:46 Speaker 3: Well, but some people hate it. Like I have a good friend, my good friend Matt, who I'm flying because we're going to the funeral tomorrow, and I know he doesn't like strong perfumes, and so I am having this debate now before I get on a plane, because people on planes too also probably don't like strong perfumes. But also like I want to be me, and you know, I don't mind being the asshole who people talk about, because at least they're talking about you, Like, I don't mind them being like that guy smelled like he was hiding something. 00:16:12 Speaker 2: But on a plane, as opposed to the opposite of that, I would much rather have one have somebody smell like cologne rather. I sat next to a very stinky woman on my most recent flight. She just was a stink like she did like body odor stink. I don't even know that it was, or orange toilet sting. 00:16:28 Speaker 3: Oh toilet. 00:16:29 Speaker 2: This one smelled and it was like seven am. So it's like, what's happening? How this band already. 00:16:33 Speaker 3: Fried food on people? 00:16:35 Speaker 1: Oh? 00:16:35 Speaker 2: You notice that? As someone who's worked in food before, Yeah, I become very aware of it, like seeping into your clothes. And it's weird how that becomes unpleasant when it's not within the right environment. 00:16:46 Speaker 3: Yes, well, even in the car. My boyfriend loves fast food. I'm not so much of a fast food person, but my boyfriend loves it, and so oftentimes we'll go get fast food and then I'll leave the apartment after we've aten everything, and I'll get in the car and I'll smell I'll smell the food and it just it's too much. 00:17:01 Speaker 2: You don't want that after the food is gone. 00:17:03 Speaker 3: No, I barely want the food when it's there. But that's because of the Ozambic. Are you to say, well, now I've switched to Manjaro just last week. 00:17:11 Speaker 2: How's it going. 00:17:12 Speaker 3: So it's going great. I've lost seventy pounds. Oh my yes, I was at my biggest during the pandemic was three forty something and now I'm down to the two fifty. I still have a little bit to go, but it's been great for me. 00:17:23 Speaker 2: And I love it. Does it feel like you're eating like one meal a day? 00:17:27 Speaker 3: It doesn't feel like I'm eating one meal a day. But like what I was saying about the fast food, part of the thing is like I just don't have the craving for it, right, and also I don't have the craving to like I mean, I joke, but I'm like, now I have leftovers for the first time in my life, Like I've never had leftovers before, or I've never that food chatter in my head, that food sort of voice in my head that was always thinking about either what I'm going to eat or feeling shame for what I did eat right just completely gone. 00:17:51 Speaker 2: Wow, it's amazing. 00:17:52 Speaker 3: It's just retooled how I think about food in a way that like. And also I was worried before about people saying like you have to be on it for the rest of your life, which was a concern of mine. And and then I was thinking, like, well, diabetes strikes, you have to be on for the rest of your life. This is clearly a condition I've dealt with my entire life. Like I literally this is the first time in my life a weight loss program has actually worked for me. And that isn't like that wasn't an unhealthy direction, right, you know what I mean? Like I got skinny doing unhealth. 00:18:18 Speaker 2: Eatings before adjacent type yes. 00:18:20 Speaker 3: Very much an eating disorder, whereas this is like, oh, I can actually just like exist, and I find I have like space to think and do about other things. At night, I find I'm bored, oh, because I don't. I'm not snacking, I'm not thinking about feeling, I'm not going exactly. I'm actually able to read a book. 00:18:38 Speaker 2: It's crazy. 00:18:38 Speaker 3: I read my first Oprah's Book Club book in like years. Which book was the one about Alanie Love or whatever not Lonnie Love but love. It was about the woman. It was a nonfiction book, and she went to prison. She like she was. She stole her neighbor's credit cards and then went to prison. It is something love in the book, Mama Love. I forget. But it was very good and I finished it. I was able to read it. That's really the point. The book is irrelevant. I finished the book. 00:19:02 Speaker 2: I mean, I'm curious about this book when we're not going to bring up my kindle and tell you about it. My Kindle has made it impossible to remember author or title. I'm reading a book, I haven't looked at the title or author. Yes, months I have to look up the book in my kindle. But I do love my kindle. Yeah, I mean, for the most part, it's made things much better. Do you read it on your phone or do you my kindle itself? Yes, I don't have an actual kindle. I just do it on my phone or even on my computer. Oh see my eyes start to hurt. 00:19:33 Speaker 3: Oh interesting. 00:19:34 Speaker 2: I've had my Kindle for about well, I had one for about ten years and it finally shut down. I've got my second Kindle, though, I mean, I don't know if. 00:19:42 Speaker 3: I could probably sap for white situation. 00:19:43 Speaker 2: It is a paper I feel like paper white now? Is it? Default situation? Not that this is an ad for Kindles. Who cares about that company would sponsor you though Kindle reach out. 00:19:52 Speaker 3: But I've worked for Amazon. They pay very well. I mean, they've got the in the television department. 00:19:57 Speaker 2: I would hope that they could pay somebody. But as someone who's moved across the country a couple of times, I just couldn't keep physical books. 00:20:07 Speaker 3: It becomes clumbersome. I know, when I left New York, I had a whole strand situation of just trying to get rid of because I mean, shipping books is so expensive. 00:20:15 Speaker 2: Oh I did it from LA to New York, and then I was over. I had to say goodbye. 00:20:19 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah now in my apartment cause I haven't I mean, I don't feel like I'm leaving LA. So like, I actually do have books. I was like book of the Month club for like years. I never read any of them because I was always thinking about food. But I have a whole bookshelf of books that I've never read. 00:20:32 Speaker 2: I mean my dream is to have a personal library with a ladder that I can fall off of to my desk. At some point. 00:20:37 Speaker 3: So are you afraid of letders? 00:20:39 Speaker 2: Not at all. 00:20:40 Speaker 3: I am very afraid, yes, ladder not lot. People don't want me on those kinds of things. I literally my boyfriend and my friends they know, they carry bags, they open doors, they get on things, they test things out because I will either break. 00:20:56 Speaker 2: Or fall because you're a klutz. 00:20:57 Speaker 3: I am a klutz. I am. I am a klutz, and everyone knows that about me. And you know what, I just kind of I'm sick of being ashamed of it, and I just like if things fall around me, it's gonna happen. It's just gonna happen. 00:21:10 Speaker 2: I think it's a really healthy attitude about this too. 00:21:13 Speaker 3: I think so too. But yeah, ladders, I won't get on a ladder because I know, like well, when we went roller skating, literally, instead of me being like like being scared of falling, which isn't necessarily my fear of a ladder or roller skating or anything, it is more about I'm too busy to be hurt right. 00:21:28 Speaker 2: Now, right like my teams in a life when it's like oh I could be see or be severely injured. 00:21:34 Speaker 3: I don't have time for either. I mean, there's so much going on right now that like I literally don't have time to have a like a bad back. So that's why I shouldn't get on ladders or go roller skating or any of those things. 00:21:47 Speaker 2: I'll say, I prefer a ladder that's like latched to a wall, or is on wheels that's like you get to scoot on. 00:21:53 Speaker 3: If it's latched to a wall. Though I would question who latched it and if they were competent, because, like I, there are so many times too like things are supposed to work like built wise, like just exist on walls and shit, and I've used them and they've broken. Like we have these blinds in our apartment, you know the ones that you like you can twist the thing and they're like, of course you know they have yeah, yeah, somehow I am horrible with them and they always fall off or they won't turn. And my boyfriend is like, what are you doing to these blinds? And I don't know what I'm opening a blind and I'm closing a blind and I'm I'm I don't know what I'm doing. 00:22:26 Speaker 2: It sounds like you're over using a blind. 00:22:28 Speaker 3: Perhaps maybe I'm too rough, Maybe I'm like, you know, like the kid who pets the cat too hard. I don't know. But like I I'm, I'm doing something and I break things and it just I can't, I can't remember. 00:22:38 Speaker 2: Very destructive person I am, but not intentional. 00:22:42 Speaker 3: It is not intentionally. I am aware of it. Well, I'm aware that I am, but I'm but I do not feel it's intentional. I'm just existing like i'm and I'm having no shame in my existence. And that's pride, which is p r I d well. 00:23:02 Speaker 2: I mean there's something else that I feels a little more intentional that i'd like to talk to you about. I don't know if it's intentional or not, but I'll get into it. Look, I was very excited to have you here today. I thought your least famous guest. Yes, that's not that's I'm comparing. But I could make a list of we talk. 00:23:21 Speaker 3: About that off after we record, I guess. 00:23:23 Speaker 2: But we love every one of our guests who cares about fame. Yeah, sure, I was so excited to have you here. 00:23:30 Speaker 3: Oh I'm so glad. I'm literally I'm a huge fan of the podcast. 00:23:33 Speaker 2: Well, I don't know. I mean, interesting things have happened today that make me wonder if you've ever even listened. 00:23:38 Speaker 3: To I have, Oh I have, most recently the Maria Bamford one, which is like icon. 00:23:43 Speaker 2: Of oh I love Maria. 00:23:44 Speaker 3: I mean what I mean episode right? 00:23:46 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yes, yes, maybe my favorite comedian. 00:23:50 Speaker 3: In fact, I was we'll talk about that when we listened to the gift. But that's when I was listening to that episode. 00:23:54 Speaker 2: Well, I was a little shocked then when I saw you kind of saunter in my home today holding what is clearly a gift bag, yes for a podcast called I said, no Gifts. 00:24:06 Speaker 3: Yeah, I know. 00:24:08 Speaker 2: Uh, do you want me to open this here on the show? Yeah? I do. 00:24:11 Speaker 3: But I'm one of those people, and I'm sure you know these people who when you get when you give gifts, the person then proceeds to tell you why it's bad and you're gonna hate it. And that is me. That is me. That is how I am. And now I want to say that I when I give gifts, I often and gifting is my love language. I do love giving gifts. However, I'm very erratic when I give gifts and I do regift and oftentimes I forget to put gifts in bags that are sentimental or sweet that have bows and shit. 00:24:38 Speaker 2: I think that's great. Lower expectations. 00:24:40 Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I had this Spectrum bag in my in my car for a long time, and I had the gift in my front seat. But I thought, I can't just give you the gift without without a bag, you know, because I can't. And so I had to find a bag. And I knew I had this router that I need to return to Spectrum, and I've been it's been in the back of my car for like a year now. And so I had the Spectrum bag and I thought, Okay, I'll take the router out of it, and I'll put your gift in the Spectrum bag. And so the gift then is actually both emotional but also something that I need to get off my hands. 00:25:09 Speaker 2: Oh I'm very excited about. 00:25:10 Speaker 3: Yes, I'm gonna hate it, but I also think it's going to be useful for you. 00:25:14 Speaker 2: The last time I was on the phone with Spectrum, the last memorable time, I think I ended the call by saying, I hope Spectrum blows up. 00:25:21 Speaker 3: But this is not a Spectrum. 00:25:22 Speaker 2: This is not a cable box. No not, I'm going to reach in here, okay. Oh, and it's I like the sound that's happening. 00:25:33 Speaker 3: About It is partially open, so be careful. 00:25:36 Speaker 2: Yeah, is this the top? 00:25:38 Speaker 3: That is the top? I believe, Yeah, yeah. And it's it's a prescription strength cat food for cats who are obese. And it's it's half you. It's gently you, definitely half you. Yes, And it's very expensive though. I mean that's like eighty dollars. 00:25:55 Speaker 2: A bad food, good pet food gets expensive the prescription strength kind right, yeah, right, So like that, So okay, So here's the emotional party, and I'm so glad because we were. 00:26:04 Speaker 3: Supposed to do this I think a week ago or something and we had to reschedule. And I was so glad when I got the email to reschedule because me and my boyfriend had to recently unexpectedly put our cat down. Oh and so idy to hear thank you. And that's when I was listening to the Maria Bamford. So actually it was like that because I was like going through this because I had to catch up and I wanted to like be up to date on everything, you know what I mean, of course, but also I was like loving her anyway, and so I'm in the process of like getting rid of everything related to Fraser, which was what my cat's name was. And so this is more of like a friend take this off my hands. However, what you can do because it is I mean, this is like a zembic for cats. So like my cat was so fat? 00:26:44 Speaker 2: How fat? 00:26:45 Speaker 3: I think? Well, so they told I went with the vet where we had to put him down, said that he was he successfully lost weight. He was like twenty three pounds, twenty four pounds, okay, and he got down to seventeen. 00:26:57 Speaker 2: Wow, a lot of weights. 00:26:59 Speaker 3: He's like a mazon. So he was like a big cat, you know. 00:27:02 Speaker 2: I mean they look big even when they're small. 00:27:03 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, worth a lot of body, right, and when you lift him up, he's like long body. So he's a very big cat. But he was. But seventeen was like the sweet spot for him for like being a main coon. So he was. It worked. It works. So what you could do is you could get like lovely little maybe ziploc bags that have like Disney characters on them or something. Put some of that in and give that out to people to cats suffering from obesity, friends of yours who have cats suffering from me. And that's expensive. So if they like it, then they know, hey, it's worth the money, because I wasn't when I bought this, I willing nearly spent eight hundred or eighty dollars. 00:27:35 Speaker 2: If you said eight hundred dollars shut down the podcast. I spent eight hundred dollars on that, let's be real. Oh yeah, of course, but I. 00:27:41 Speaker 3: Spent eighty dollars on the on the on the cat food, and I was worried Fraser wouldn't eat it, and I don't spend money like that. I want to be guaranteed of the success. Joe Malone smells great Prada, always great cat food, potentially dangerous and he might not eat it, and it's a waste of eighty dollars, but he enjoyed it and he lost all that weight because of it. 00:27:59 Speaker 2: And so I know you're trying to like kind of convert me into being a cat food salesman or re or. 00:28:04 Speaker 3: Big farm work or or you could just be that like helpful friend who's like, hey, I got some of this stuff. Just like pass it to them on the table like it's a secret, and the cat person, the cat person will be like, is this what is it called? 00:28:16 Speaker 2: Is the Royal canon? 00:28:17 Speaker 1: Yeah? 00:28:18 Speaker 2: Royal canin which it's like canine without the ease, sounds like a French cat. 00:28:21 Speaker 3: Yeah, but yeah, so royal canon. When they hear it's royal canon, they'll be like, that's prescription strength. You know, you just can't get that. You can't go into Petco and just buy this. You have to have to use a paper. 00:28:33 Speaker 2: You actually have to get it. 00:28:35 Speaker 3: Yes, over, you cannot buy this without the paper. Why it's not like ozempic where you can just buy the fourteen hundred dollars to spend it and they'll give it to you. You have to have the prescription or something. 00:28:44 Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I didn't know you could do that without ZEMP. 00:28:46 Speaker 3: I think you can. I don't really know. I have the prescription, I have Greade Insurance, okay, but I thank you WGA. But with cat food, they wouldn't. I tried by I thought I could because I was like, I don't want to get a fucking thing, But no, you need the paper. 00:28:58 Speaker 2: That to me makes no sense. Who is out there like abusing medicine. 00:29:03 Speaker 3: That's why the little gift bags of the cat food is going to be great for you, because people desperately want it, but they don't want to go get the piece of paper, so they want to know if it works. 00:29:11 Speaker 2: Oh my god, this is like me selling oxycon on the streets. Yes, that's crazy, Yeah, order lying drug dealer, I. 00:29:17 Speaker 3: Mean perhaps, But it's also there are so many cat people in Los Angeles because so many places don't allow dogs in their apartments. So this is the city to do this. This is a gift that keeps on giving. It is half used. 00:29:28 Speaker 2: Somebody's got to reach out to me. If you own a cat that's a little overweight or struggling with its way and a few, reach out to me, and I'm willing to give you some more, if not all, of this cat food. 00:29:41 Speaker 3: It is comically funny though, when a cat I mean it's not because it's unhealthy, but it's comically funny when a cat does get two obese, because then they can't lick their bootyhole, and which is what we had with Frasier. Feels like a pro Yeah, I mean maybe, but like that is how they clean them, right, And then it becomes your problem to that deal with his and yeah, and then I don't have the time. I mean, I've already told you I'm very busy, and so I don't have. 00:30:06 Speaker 2: The time for a back injury or to clean my cats. Don't. 00:30:09 Speaker 3: I'm too busy at that computer working. You know, it's Los Angeles. Things are expensive. And I got a boyfriend who's a designer. He's not making shit and so I, uh, well, he does work with the drag Wis Queen, so he's making some money. 00:30:20 Speaker 2: But oh that's a yeah, that is to me a thing I couldn't do. Like with cats, even a litter box is a lot for me. 00:30:26 Speaker 3: Oh well, see, okay, now this is the other thing I got, the litter genie. You think I think it does. I thought Fraser was going to be terrified of it. My friend gave it to me, and they got it as like a sponsorship gift because they're like, again another system of being less famous. They're way more famous than me, and so they got it as. 00:30:42 Speaker 2: A freaking real reason to become famous. 00:30:45 Speaker 3: And so my friend didn't use it, and so they gave it to us, and I was like, Fraser might might not be into this because it's a robot, right, It like moves on its own and makes noise and stuff. No, Fraser loved it. 00:30:55 Speaker 2: Did it eliminate smells? 00:30:56 Speaker 3: It did? And then he would come into the living room, saunter into the living room, skinny because of the royal canon, and finally able to clean himself, come onto the couch and watch more television with us. And it was a lovely experience. So yeah, no, so it was because I had to put Fraser down a week nd. Oh so how old was not old at all? He had we found out in the and he had cancer but he was just under ten. Oh, but we did find that main coon cats between ten and twelve years sometimes is that space what I've heard. I know people listening you probably have a very active cat listenership, cat owner listenership. So I'm sure people are going to be like, he should have lived at fifteen. Whatever, it wasn't my fault, this was his cat. 00:31:35 Speaker 2: Just leave it alone. 00:31:35 Speaker 3: Please leave me alone. Don't get into my DMS. I've already had that. 00:31:38 Speaker 2: But people come after you about your guest. 00:31:40 Speaker 3: Yea, they did, they did, They did because I mentioned I mentioned somewhere. I took a week off and I didn't record anything or do anything public and except for I did a post about him. But then I came back and I did one of my podcasts that I do, and I mentioned his age and then people, some people came for me put. 00:31:57 Speaker 2: That in your journal life, I know, believe strangers. 00:32:00 Speaker 3: But people love I mean, I will say people love to comment on me. Well, especially with the podcast I do that you're making worse what you've been against on which I do with Elliott and Elliott Glazer and Brince Sullivan. And I feel like I tend to get a lot of messages because I am the more flamboyant one, I'm the louder one, I'm the gayer one, I'm all of those. 00:32:23 Speaker 2: You just feel approachable people like I think. 00:32:25 Speaker 3: I think so, so people feel more comfortable to share their sometimes unsolicited opinions with me. 00:32:31 Speaker 2: Don't if it's advice. 00:32:32 Speaker 3: Just one wants advice from No one wants especially during that comment comments love about you know, the difficult time we're in all of the things. But yeah, no, people love that. 00:32:42 Speaker 2: Don't tell me how I could have kept my cat a life. 00:32:43 Speaker 3: I know who does that? Who does that? 00:32:47 Speaker 2: Crazy? 00:32:47 Speaker 3: Oh my god. I had someone being like you didn't you should have found out about the cancer earlier, and I was like, well they didn't tell me a year ago when he was at the vets, So like, what am I going to do? 00:32:56 Speaker 2: You know, like I'm sorry, sposed to be helpful. 00:32:59 Speaker 3: I know it's help I'm trying right now, come on, why But yes. 00:33:04 Speaker 2: Wow, yeah, cats are interesting because cats frequently lived into their twenties. 00:33:09 Speaker 3: Yeah, I know. I wasn't expecting that with Frasier. I knew that going in because when I learned he was that main code and breed, like I knew it yourself, likely wasn't going to be it was going to be in the tender So I knew when he was turning ten, I was like, because me, I'm a planner, and I was like, okay, I got a plan to be emotional work that undo the schedule these next five years. And so I knew that was a possibility, but I didn't think it was going to come this quickly. 00:33:29 Speaker 2: Right, and nothing will ever prepare you. Yeah, I mean it's impossible. 00:33:32 Speaker 3: I mean it happened within twenty four hours. It was like he went from being fine to being out. Yeah. So it was definitely the shock of that. But also like I adopted him at right after I finished Chemo. I adopted him when I was moving into my own place after being sick for two years, Like I adopted. It was like he was a part of that period in my life. 00:33:52 Speaker 2: It really becomes a chapter of your life. Yeah, yeah, very clearly defined era. Yes, had you had cats before? 00:33:59 Speaker 3: No, I had no pets. I was living in New York, and I I just my life didn't really accommodate pets. My family had pets, but they were always their problem, not mine. So I didn't really ever have an animal that was mine. And I for so long doing stand up and stuff, I always was like, you know, I'm cold, and I'm sassy and I'm whatever, and but I was like, you know what because of chemo and this is getting so sappy. But because of chemo, I learned like I need to figure out ways to show. 00:34:24 Speaker 2: Love and to be nothing wrong with them, yes, and to. 00:34:27 Speaker 3: Have that in my life. And so I figured a cat would be a great therapy to keeping a cat alive. Obviously I'm not great at it, but keeping a cat alive so that I could, you know, show love, I don't know, and maybe get love. And it did work for me because I met a man and we've been together for a long time and so like all the things, Wow. 00:34:46 Speaker 2: That's incredible. Yeah, And cats are an interesting toe in the water of like showing something love because they will make it difficult. Or this cat loved negotiating. 00:34:55 Speaker 3: This cat there was no negotiating. This cat was pussy out of all the rubs all day long. This cat, now, he was selective about who he would. 00:35:03 Speaker 2: Love, which is actually kind of nice. 00:35:05 Speaker 3: Yes, and me, and especially he loved my boyfriend, but like he and he loved me too, but like in a different way. He knew that I ran the show, and yes there was there was a bit of that. He knew that things could happen, not that thing listeners. So I yeah, so I definitely, he definitely it was It's wrapped up. 00:35:25 Speaker 2: In a lot of emotions that I period, but it was overall a good, positive experience. 00:35:29 Speaker 3: So I have literally the best ten years, the best ten years. 00:35:33 Speaker 2: Do you think you'll have another pet? I know it's an early sensitive time. 00:35:36 Speaker 3: No, I do think about it. I've been thinking about it. It's like I don't I honestly don't think I could have another cat anytime soon. I feel like I could have AG but I don't think I could have a cat anytime soon. I kind of I've always felt that. And again, don't yell at me people. But I've always thought dogs were dumber than cats. And I think I need some dumb in my life. I need now I've learned to love and I've learned to care, and I am an animal person, and chemo made me an animal person. But because there was this dog during chemo. Speaking of dumb, there was this dog during chemo that the house that I was staying in when I was going through chemo, and he he's a very dumb dog. But he when I was in bed, whenever someone would try to come sit on the couch or like come be by me, he would get so angry. Oh, And I was like okay, like at other people, never at me. And he was protecting me, of course. And it was this weird sort of like Okay, animals have a thing. Animals. Animals know something on a level that we don't understand. So I need to have that in my life. So I kind of need I think a period in my life where I have an idiot around me, and I think a dog is necessary. 00:36:34 Speaker 2: That's I leave dogs alone. That's not idiotcy I do. It's just a different way of showing beautiful idiots. 00:36:39 Speaker 3: They're wondering Yeah, they're just different. They're just stupid or and I think that. And that's not a read, that's not a read. It's literally like a I think sometimes I want to be led by some stupidity, to have some fun and chill and just like you. 00:36:52 Speaker 2: Know, more of an openness. 00:36:53 Speaker 3: Yeah. Just I'm open to being dumb right now, which I think I wasn't open to being dumb ten years ago. 00:36:58 Speaker 2: Well, I think you're going to be very surprised by a dog. I think you're going to realize, Oh, it's not so much stupidity as it's just a different. 00:37:05 Speaker 3: It's a different kind of joy. Yeah, and I'm open to that. I could use a different kind of joy. Also, because i'm again a zempic, I like the prospect of having that morning walk in the evening course, So maybe the dog will be helpful for me and forcing me to be like exercising and being outdoors and healthy and right all the things that I hate. 00:37:22 Speaker 2: But you'll love that morning dog walk is such a wonderful EXPI. 00:37:26 Speaker 3: Love the idea of it. I feel like it feels very Nancy Meyer. 00:37:29 Speaker 2: Oh completely it does. 00:37:31 Speaker 3: I mean, I just I and I'm a tea person, so I feel like I would like wake up and like start my kettle and then take him for a walk or her or them, probably them at this point, like my dog will definitely be of them. And then we'll come back to the apartment. I'll have my little tea and the dog will bake for a treat, and I'll be like, I'm busy and I'll get to work. 00:37:51 Speaker 2: And then there will come a day with rain, and you'll think, oh my god, what if I don't. 00:37:55 Speaker 3: I didn't even consider that. That's one because you don't consider that in Los Angeles. 00:37:58 Speaker 2: Yeah, but then it comes January, it's raining every single day, and the dog is furious at you, and you're both mad at each other that you have to go into the rain. 00:38:05 Speaker 3: Dog. 00:38:06 Speaker 2: We had one until December and she passed away. 00:38:08 Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, thank you. 00:38:11 Speaker 2: It's horrible. Yeah, it's I mean, you know, it's just the worst possible thing in the world. 00:38:15 Speaker 3: Did your dog have the pea pad potty pad? 00:38:18 Speaker 2: No, she was an outdoor girl. She was very good about that. 00:38:22 Speaker 3: Can you train the dog to be both outdoors and a t peapad situation? 00:38:26 Speaker 2: You know, I would love to believe that we can exist in that world. But I don't know that that's true. I feel like maybe, but if the dog has two choices, I think it's going to get confused. 00:38:35 Speaker 3: I think so too again, because they're dumb. No, I'm sorry. I mean, you know a cat is not going to be outside cats and be like that's my box, that's what we're doing. We're not doing that. I mean, sure some cats are dumb and they do it outside the box, but my cat was not. My cat was very smart, never did that, and so I'm saying like this is I. 00:38:52 Speaker 2: Think with a dog it would just be they learn. They're like, well they want me to go outside, and if there's an indoor thing, they'll be like, well, when do they want me to go indoors? 00:38:58 Speaker 3: Yeah. I'm excited about training the dog too, because I'm German and I feel like that is like in me to do that. 00:39:05 Speaker 2: Oh, I mean, get yourself a German shepherd were very smart. 00:39:09 Speaker 3: Dog can't do big. I can't do a big you can't do a big dog. Well, I can't do well a the fur. I need to find one that's kind of hypo allergenic. Because my boyfriend does love to complain he's not Jewish, but he does love to complain. I'm the Jewish one, but I think that's rubbing off on him, and he will complain about having allergies when he doesn't have allergies. He just doesn't like wash his face or dust and so yeah, so I can't do that. I have to have a dog that is kind of hypoalergenic so that he can't complain. 00:39:34 Speaker 2: But they're big, large hypoalergenic dogs. 00:39:37 Speaker 3: Are there, like labbord no to the poodle ones? 00:39:40 Speaker 2: Right, Probably, I don't know. 00:39:41 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm like a medium sized dog. But I also like the idea of doing Elizabeth Taylor thing and traveling with a dog, having a lap dog that can be on a plane with me, because again, my face is going to remain my body's not, so I need something attractive to hold on too when I am traveling in these situations, so that then you're a big yeah no, I'm so not. The dog will distract people from the rest of the ugly body and then focus on the face and the dog, which I think is actually kind of genius. 00:40:11 Speaker 2: The beautiful dog. 00:40:15 Speaker 3: You I'm really not getting any younger. I'm trying really hard. There's a lot of botos in me, but I it's not. I know it's not going to work, so like I need, I actually need this dog as a distraction. 00:40:26 Speaker 2: I think that's completely fair a little I love a little dog. 00:40:29 Speaker 3: I'm very considering getting a new one, not. 00:40:32 Speaker 2: In the next It'll probably be a little while of the farness i'd like my the love in my heart for my dog is still much, very much there, and I don't know that I feel like bringing a dog into the situation would be bad for both of us. 00:40:44 Speaker 3: That's where I am at two. I I just don't know if I'm ready yet to quite do that. But I am one of those people too that like again the German to me that I'm like so eager to like get it done, move on with the problem, solve the problem, next thing, check it off the list, you. 00:40:58 Speaker 2: Know, yes, just remove them from completely. Yeah. 00:41:01 Speaker 3: I mean I do schedule emotions and ship, which is horrible, and I feel like I'm doing that with the morning of Frasier of being like Okay, well it's been I mean it's only been less than two weeks now, but I'm like, okay, a month in a month and will be great. I can mourn for a month and then I have to on my birthday next month, and you start looking for another pet to replace this emotion that needs to be taken care of. I know it's going healthy, it's going. I know it doesn't work like that. 00:41:25 Speaker 2: You're going. 00:41:27 Speaker 3: I am and I have, I do. I cry so many places. Oh it's horrible, isn't it. 00:41:32 Speaker 2: I mean, you have no idea what's going to set you off? 00:41:34 Speaker 3: Do you know? Though? I don't mind it. It doesn't I know, I really am not. I don't. I'm not bothered by it at all. I feel like people and again this might be in my head, but I do feel like people stare at me because of the freak show nature sometimes of like freak show nature, freak show nature of like I'm tripping or I'm making things are falling off me, or like I'm flailing or yeah, there's there's a there's a dying, yes exactly. And so when I cry, it's like, Okay, well this is the emotion I'm feeling in this moment. So everyone can watch if they want. I'm feeling it. I'm fine, you know. 00:42:11 Speaker 2: I think Los Angeles is probably one of two cities where that's kind of a normal thing. 00:42:16 Speaker 3: True, true, everyone's just. 00:42:17 Speaker 2: Always at the very brink of emotional and breakdown. 00:42:20 Speaker 3: And the comment immediately goes to, oh, he has housing insecurity, but he doesn't look like he does, you know. So my building manager she said that to me recently about a person who was on house out front and out of our building, and she commented being like, by the way he dresses, you would never know that they were homeless. And I was like, what, I don't know why that's wrong, but I think that's a wrong. Yeah, it feels like just a bad thing to say about somebody, you know, But that's what they would say about me crying at Target, that they would be like, oh, this and that's the other thing Target right now, that is my biggest anxiety. I'm sorry, I have to un this. 00:42:55 Speaker 2: Does it make you anxious? 00:42:56 Speaker 3: It's making me very angry. Recently, I can never get a targe hurt at Target. 00:43:00 Speaker 2: I can never get a basket? 00:43:02 Speaker 3: Yeah, what is what's happening at the stall? Which one do you go? Will you got here? 00:43:05 Speaker 2: The rock was? 00:43:06 Speaker 3: I go to the one in Hollywood and yes, everything's locked up and I get that society right now, but I hate that. But that's just that's I'm actually fine with it, give them a past. But I'm also like, this is a condition of the world we live in right now. It will pass move things will move on, things will get better. Maybe we'll deal with some of the problems we have in Los Angeles that then could lead to some of these changes. Whatever. That's a different thing. Give me a fucking car to basket. 00:43:27 Speaker 2: Where have they all gone? 00:43:28 Speaker 3: I don't know. The other day I went to Target to pick up some stuff for this again, the funeral that I have to go just this begin separate issue. Fine, everything's fine. 00:43:36 Speaker 2: In between mornings. 00:43:37 Speaker 3: I am, I am, but it was a family friend. We knew they were dying, but it was just the timing was weird anyway. So I had to go pick up some stuff, some travel stuff for Target and I need and my boyfriend was like, oh, pick up coke because he's completely unhealthy. So he wanted me to pick up the twenty four I am and he deserves it, the twenty four case of Coca Cola okay, And I went in. There's no car. 00:43:56 Speaker 2: Unacceptable. 00:43:56 Speaker 3: So I text him angrily being like, I'm not getting you coat because I'm not carrying that around the store. I have other things I have to pick up. 00:44:02 Speaker 2: Here, and that is the heaviest thing, probably in the whole store, heaviest thing, mostly unwieldy thing. 00:44:07 Speaker 3: They told me a cart would be up there in ten minutes, and I now, of course, I'm also like, I'm not a total asshole, because the guilt does run over me. So then I do eventually get the coke. I gather all the other things in my coat, I took off my coat. I used my coat as like a hand cart because there were no hand carts even And I had the oranges, and I had the other things that I was buying, and I had the coke in the other arm, and I did it. 00:44:29 Speaker 2: Everyone's looking at you like, oh, this is his first time shoplift. 00:44:32 Speaker 3: I didn't cry that day, though I didn't cry. 00:44:34 Speaker 2: But wait, tell me, did they put you on like a wait list for a shopping cart. They said you'd have one in ten minutes. 00:44:39 Speaker 3: They said that they would be up in ten minutes. This makes no sense, makes no sense. So then I went and I did my shopping, and again I did my shopping quick. It was ten minutes of shopping, and I went to the register because they closed down the self checkout things I don't know why. Again another crisis, they really are. And so I checked out and I was like, I was walking out of the store with my bags and they didn't have any carts there. And then I went down to my car and I see where they store the cars to go up, and those people are just talking. They're just hanging out with carts in the corner. 00:45:09 Speaker 2: Just enjoying. There were of endless thirty carts. 00:45:11 Speaker 3: There were thirty cards. And then I made the mistake with the cashier of asking about the carts. I was like, what is going on with these cars? And this person gave me a story, being like I think they're ordering more carts, but I don't know. It's something that I heard from my manager. But I mean, I could ask for if you want. But and I'm like, now you've give you're giving me too many options, and I don't want the cart anymore. I don't want to talk about carts anymore. 00:45:32 Speaker 2: Where are the carts coming from? 00:45:33 Speaker 3: I don't know where they're coming or going. 00:45:35 Speaker 2: They're stuck on a boat steel, So don't the. 00:45:36 Speaker 3: Carts because I always thought, now I've never experienced this, I've never tried to steal a card, but don't they like if you try to steal the cart, it will stop if you. 00:45:43 Speaker 2: Get like some of them have that electronic or some sort of device that like locks them up so you can't get them out of there. 00:45:49 Speaker 3: Watching Los Angeles, there's like a law that says you can't have that. 00:45:52 Speaker 2: Oh, that might be true. I would support that. You should be able to take your shopping cart whenever you want, like home with you. You encourage people to take their shop would actually be very very helpful. Oh, I'd love to have one just lying around. 00:46:02 Speaker 3: Do you know how many times I have I go shopping for stuff and then I have to bring it all up to the apartment of myself. But I don't want to do two trips, so I like put it all into my arms. 00:46:10 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, of course it is. You have to go back down to your car to get everything Forget. 00:46:14 Speaker 3: To run into someone and they're gonna want to talk to me. I ran into a neighbor the other day who bought one of those new teslas that looked like robot cars. What is you know the truck? The truck? Yeah? 00:46:22 Speaker 2: You know someone, yes, one degree, I'm from somebody who owns a cyber truck. Oh, yeah, are they decent? 00:46:29 Speaker 3: Well, no, they're annoying. And I had never spoken to this neighbor before, but he gave me because we came back at the same time and he was looking at me and I was like, hi, he was staring at me, and then I was like, your car? Do you like your car? And he's like oh, And then he tells me all this information about the car, which is a test what owner is going to do anyway, He tells me always he was going to flip the car, but there's something with Tesla that you can't flip a car if you own it within the first year. You have to wait a year they die. 00:46:53 Speaker 2: He was going to actually physically flow to sell it. 00:46:56 Speaker 3: So then he's like, sohnomena. Try But I think the back is too big for me. I don't know, and he's telling me all this stuff. He gets to his floor. He can is a straight man completely. He continues to talk to me as he's walking down the hallway. I'm not about my arm's a full. I'm not about to hold the elevated door open for him to finish the story. And he's continuing to talk to me anything No, and then the doors start closing, he's still talking and then I have to go okay bye, Like it was the most awkward conversation, but yet oddly feels like the most common Tesla owner conversation that. 00:47:27 Speaker 2: Makes perfect sense. 00:47:28 Speaker 3: It feels like what they would how they would communicate, and. 00:47:30 Speaker 2: Tesla will just make you like you buy the car, you cannot sell it for a while. 00:47:34 Speaker 3: Apparently that's what my neighbor said. But he also seems like a person who is an idiot, right, Yeah, he doesn't seem like this. I mean, I don't think you buy a Tesla to sell. I don't think that's a smart decision. 00:47:45 Speaker 2: I like that the company policy is like live with your mistake. Yeah, Tesla, live with your mistake. 00:47:49 Speaker 3: Also, I know, I mean I don't live in a necessarily a nice building. I don't live in a shitty building. I moved into the building because it had central AC that was the most important thing to me. And so it's like a fine building. But it's not a Tesla up buildings. So how much does this cost? 00:48:01 Speaker 2: I know it's going to be a seventy thousand dollars. 00:48:04 Speaker 3: Right, I have no idea how least how much is a Cymberruch these things. 00:48:07 Speaker 2: Cast let's two prices, right. 00:48:08 Speaker 3: I don't have what you guess I'm going to say eighty five. 00:48:11 Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna get seventy two on a leak. 00:48:14 Speaker 3: Have you done prices right? 00:48:15 Speaker 4: I mean, based on what my cursory Google search brought up. 00:48:19 Speaker 3: Sixty thousand dollars. Oh, that's actually surprisingly affordable. 00:48:23 Speaker 2: I mean for one of those horrible I mean too ten dollars would be too much to get me in a cyber truck. Yeah, I sixty thousand dollars still means a car, but not I. 00:48:32 Speaker 4: Think my apologies. Sorry, they started eighty one, they go up to one on one. This is going to be a new rear wheel truck that debuts next year. 00:48:40 Speaker 2: It will be sixty thousand. 00:48:43 Speaker 3: I was going to say, I think my car, which screams lesbian who's concerned for the environment but didn't want to buy a Tesla Kia EV, was fifty thousand, but then I. 00:48:53 Speaker 2: Got that EV they give you a credit. 00:48:55 Speaker 3: Yeah, so it became thirty some thousand or whatever, which is why I got it. And I didn't at the Tesla because I couldn't fit in the front seat. I felt very much like Norm from cheers getting in a small car, and I thought about myself driving to a gig and drag in this Tesla with like the seat all the way back so my hair could fit. So I needed to find a car that would like accommodate all of my sizes. 00:49:19 Speaker 2: That's a good drag PERSONA someone who's uncomfortable in their car. 00:49:22 Speaker 3: That's definitely me because I refused to not wear a corset, so I so already I can't sit up straight in a car, right, And then I have big hair too, because if you're a fat drag queen, you have to have big hair, and so the hair won't fit in the car, so you have. 00:49:37 Speaker 2: To have like a very low right. 00:49:39 Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like people. 00:49:41 Speaker 2: Are kind of moving away from getting tesla's anyway. 00:49:43 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't think they want the judgment of it, of course. 00:49:45 Speaker 2: I mean that I saw them that said I bought this before ELNG, which is ridiculous crazy. 00:49:50 Speaker 3: And you know how you spot the cheap ones or the poor ones if they're driving a white Tesla, because apparently those are the cheapest ones. Oh interesting, Yeah, that's what I heard. That's what I heard. 00:49:58 Speaker 2: But those trucks, that's an new category. 00:50:01 Speaker 3: It is a ridiculous car. I don't understand. I have a friend, he's a very tiny person, he's I think maybe five to four, and he wants one of those cars. 00:50:10 Speaker 2: Well, I think that explains it. You think so I mean to make him a billion here? Of course? 00:50:15 Speaker 3: Interesting, I didn't even con. 00:50:17 Speaker 2: I'm so embarrassed for this person. I mean, I know two things about them, and I'm already I mean. 00:50:21 Speaker 3: They are a lovely human being. But I would laugh at them if they drove down. I would humiliate, I would make fun of them endlessly for them. 00:50:27 Speaker 2: I mean, and this is coming from a short person. I can say whatever I want about us, our folk, and I'm saying, don't get a big truck. You know, it's embarrassed. 00:50:37 Speaker 3: Even get a mid size SUV, that's fine. 00:50:40 Speaker 2: But don't do something that's like trying to make a. 00:50:43 Speaker 3: Geotracker. I don't know cars. 00:50:44 Speaker 2: Oh I love a geotracker, I do too. Or a Suzuki sidekick. 00:50:49 Speaker 3: I don't know that one. 00:50:50 Speaker 2: I think that's what those are called. 00:50:52 Speaker 3: But you know, get get something normal size. 00:50:54 Speaker 2: Yeah you're not wearing older brother's clothes, not. 00:50:57 Speaker 3: The one that you or that tesla that has the doors that. 00:50:59 Speaker 2: Like do that, Oh, those are like the SUVs or crossover type. 00:51:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I drove in on a friend of mine has one. The doors are like like a like a back to the future. And because my boyfriend doesn't drive, so I rarely am able to sit in the backseat of a car. So when they were driving, I wanted to sit in the backseat of the car, and I felt so wealthy, I felt so futuristic when I was able to, because rarely in a car am I able to like sit like a normal person and then just like pivot my body and put my feet on the ground and like look all dainty getting out of a car, because usually me getting out of a car is it's it's a joke, it's ridiculous. 00:51:36 Speaker 2: Well, it's like a weird Yeah, now that you're saying that it is weird to get out of a car, it is. 00:51:41 Speaker 3: It's weird to get a car in general, especially I mean if you are a large I'll say this from for large people. If you are a large person, it is always a comical situation getting out of any size of a car. So I always look ridiculous car. In my opinion, I'm sure I look fine. But whatever, I can't mention, although although I have. You should film it sometimes because my boyfriend, even as I look ridiculous. 00:52:01 Speaker 2: Filming you getting out of car. I never know, you. 00:52:03 Speaker 3: Never know, but no, I do feel that was the one moment where I didn't feel ridiculous. 00:52:07 Speaker 2: And so when the door opens up, what I mean, what does that change practically about getting out of a car. 00:52:12 Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean, it's just I had more space to get out of the car. Then I also had a lot of anxiety because I didn't wanted to hit the car next. 00:52:20 Speaker 2: To me, right, That's what I would be freaking. 00:52:21 Speaker 3: But it doesn't do that, apparently. I don't know how it works. It's a computer. It's a computer, all yeah, it is, and it has a mind of its own and it does things that we don't understand. But its somehow, you know. It's like it's like a mac. I don't understand how this thing opened, but it opened. 00:52:38 Speaker 2: I've never been in one. Maybe I will at some point. I'm sure you will, but that does make you feel a little special. 00:52:44 Speaker 3: It did. I did a self here with your self driving car. 00:52:47 Speaker 2: I've never been in one. 00:52:48 Speaker 3: I got one in San Francisco, terrifying, terrifying, the a level of anxiety. I was sweating so much. 00:52:54 Speaker 2: Oh, I can't. It been so concerning I feel, I mean, such a ludeite, but I can't. Yeah, my dishwasher can barely function, and I just don't know that we're ever going to get to a place where it's like, oh, now you can just I'll put my life. 00:53:07 Speaker 3: Yeah exactly. 00:53:08 Speaker 2: No. 00:53:08 Speaker 3: Wait, does your dishwasher does it actually like fully clean your dishes? 00:53:12 Speaker 2: Well, I got it installed today. The other one was not. 00:53:15 Speaker 3: Oh so you haven't used it yet. 00:53:16 Speaker 2: The other one was only four years old. I've been told you should have one for like a decade. So I got ripped off, okay, and I hate to be ripped off. This new one hopefully will clean all the dishes. 00:53:25 Speaker 3: I mean, let me know, because I'm very curious. 00:53:27 Speaker 2: Yours not washing all? 00:53:28 Speaker 3: Mind does? But I have to do a lot of washing beforehand. You shouldn't have to do that, That's what I'm saying. I also have that with my television, not the washing part, but like the it's only like maybe four years old, and it has like a blue tint to it that I can't get rid of. Oh no, and I don't know what I'm doing, but every single morning when I watch the view, they all look like smurs and it's like bothering me. 00:53:47 Speaker 2: And that's like a recent change. 00:53:49 Speaker 3: It's a recent change in the television, and I don't know. I've tried everything to fix it, from getting new HDMI cords to all of the things, and I'm like, this is only four years old. This shouldn't be happening to this television. 00:53:58 Speaker 2: The picture mode is not on. 00:54:00 Speaker 3: No, No, I've changed all. I've done all of the settings. It's hurt the blue tint. 00:54:04 Speaker 2: It broke out a piece of junk. 00:54:05 Speaker 3: But then I'm like, oh, I pay. I have to pay like four thousand dollars for Fraser's deaths. So now I have to wait to buy a television. 00:54:10 Speaker 2: That's horrible. 00:54:11 Speaker 3: It's the worst. 00:54:12 Speaker 2: I guess electronics are just getting worse. 00:54:14 Speaker 3: I think so because we're all buying it so quickly because of that affirm and like you can pay on time and everything. Everyone's buying shit so quickly that I feel like they're just putting it. 00:54:22 Speaker 2: Out barely keep up. So when you were in the self driving car, how far did you go in it? Oh? 00:54:29 Speaker 3: A distance? 00:54:29 Speaker 2: I went from yeah, I probably want like five miles, six miles. No, wow, fairly it was going like forty miles an hour. 00:54:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, it had to go over the bridge. 00:54:38 Speaker 2: We had to go over the bridge. Were there any scary moments whereas. 00:54:41 Speaker 3: Like, oh, every moment was scary for me, but the bridge was probably I mean I already have a fear of bridges, so that like, right, would that was already scary, but that part was scary? 00:54:51 Speaker 2: Yes, wow, And yeah, there's no how does that even? 00:54:55 Speaker 3: I just don't even I don't even understand how it works. And someone was explaining it to me. I've learned that like when I don't when I not that I can't understand it, but when I know that, I shouldn't understand it, because the more I understand it, the angrier I'm going to get, I just tune out. And so they were explaining it to me and I was like, I give up. 00:55:14 Speaker 2: And there's still a steering wheel in it? 00:55:16 Speaker 3: There is? Oh yeah, it's just like an and you can drive the car like someone can take over the car, but you don't need to because it's doing it itself. 00:55:24 Speaker 2: Fascinating, terrifying, And does it cost as much as like an Uber. 00:55:29 Speaker 3: I didn't pay for that, so I don't know how much it costs, but I think so. 00:55:32 Speaker 2: Trying to figure out what benefit forgetting it, I don't know. Then I don't know. 00:55:36 Speaker 3: I mean, I mean, I do see a benefit in terms of very rich people getting more rich by putting Uber drivers out of work. 00:55:43 Speaker 2: Right, I mean I see that. My mind was thinking about it, eliminating. 00:55:47 Speaker 3: Millionaires will make more money, when in reality I'm just like, give me thirty thousand. I'm fine, Like I just literally like I don't ever want to be rich. I just want to have enough to like be fine. 00:55:58 Speaker 2: There is a certain amount of wealth. I just think, what are you. 00:56:01 Speaker 3: Don't work with them? It's not worth it. 00:56:03 Speaker 2: What could you possibly need? 00:56:04 Speaker 3: My family so when we ran into some wealth very briefly when we were a kid, because two things happened. My brother, who has cerebral palsy, was born on an army base, and it was the army's fault that he had cerebal palsy. So my mom sued the army. In good for her, she got the kid got money when he turned eighteen, when they never thought he'd lived eighteen. He's now in his mid forties, he's fine, so they have to keep paying him. So we got all that money one year. And then my mom, when she divorced my dad, she invested in a company that invented the Wonder Brawl, but years like twenty years before they invented the wonderbra are ten years later, and so then in like nineteen ninety seven, we suddenly had a lot of money, and my mom did the thing that you do when someone who's lived a life, who left an abusive husband, who worked shitty jobs, who struggled and struggled and struggled, got a lot of money. At one point, she didn't do the crazy thing. She literally was like, I'm gonna buy a house. I'm gonna make sure all the debt's paid, and then we're gonna go back to being poor. 00:56:55 Speaker 2: Oh that's we're going to have the security right and our lives exactly, exactly. 00:57:01 Speaker 3: The only extravagant thing my brother did was he bought a purple Mustang, even though he cannot drive a car. I mean, but yeah, but if you had and you've suffered for eighteen years and all of a sudden you get like a shit ton of money. 00:57:13 Speaker 2: You successfully sue the Army. You can deserve one. Yes. 00:57:18 Speaker 3: And that funny story there about a smart dog. The dog is how he stayed alive. So the dog, my dad wasn't there when he was born. He was born four months premature, five four and a half months. And the dog my mom passed out when she had him. She had she knew she was pregnant for a month. Why now all of a sudden she had him and she passed out, and the dog was licking Jason's mouth to you know, clean him up, and it created an air passageway that kept him alive. America, I know, it's wild. Wow, that is a smart dog. 00:57:49 Speaker 2: Wow, that's a very I mean, I'm telling you you can be very surprised by this type of animal, very surprised. They've been around for a very long time, as long as cats, as long as cats or girl. That's sure. 00:58:01 Speaker 3: There's probably a dock on it. 00:58:03 Speaker 2: Yeah, they've been around for a long time. Lot at least ten to fifteen. 00:58:08 Speaker 3: They've sat fire aside by the cave people. 00:58:11 Speaker 2: We've had cats and dogs since at least the late seventies. We can agree on that. 00:58:16 Speaker 3: Since Annie Hall came out, it was a big year. It was a big year, Rocky Annie Hall and Network and everyone wanted a cat. Then I have a friend of the family who tells me that that was the year that everyone started to run. 00:58:30 Speaker 2: Run, you know, like jogging. Did that movie set off running? 00:58:33 Speaker 3: Now? I don't know if it's set off set off running, but she was like when we were she was born in like the fifties, and she was like, when we were kids, no one ran for like exercise, right, Like, no one was jogging, Like, no one did that, And all of a sudden the seventies, everyone starts running, and now everyone's running to lose weight. Wow, She's like running was invented in the seventies, which has always stayed with me. Is weird. 00:58:51 Speaker 2: It must have come up because in the up until the fifties or so, people had to do physical labor for all kinds of things anyway, true, Yeah, and then leisure class probably continued to build or something, and every no. 00:59:02 Speaker 3: One's going to rock the war, Yeah, I could see that. In the seventies, everyone was like, well, fuck work, right, Carter's president. You know, we can't we can't afford electricity right now, So. 00:59:13 Speaker 2: I'm going for a job. 00:59:14 Speaker 3: Let's go for a job. Because some protein from peanuts. Thanks President Carter. 00:59:20 Speaker 2: Well, do we have anything left to say about expensive cat food? 00:59:23 Speaker 3: Oh? Well no, I mean it's it does work. He lost that weight, and you know, one pound to a kitty is like twenty. 00:59:31 Speaker 2: Pounds a human. I mean yeah, the ratio of it's. 00:59:34 Speaker 3: Massive, right, So like this stuff does work, I will say. And he took to it like a moth to a flame. He loved it. He lost that little weight and he was able to clean his little booty hole. And it was a beautiful last two years of his life, fresh and clean, never any problems, no wipe. 00:59:49 Speaker 2: I'm glad the last couple of years were decent. 00:59:50 Speaker 3: Yeah, they were sweet. He was sweet. He's a sweet little kitty. 00:59:53 Speaker 2: How do you feel about seeing cat food on TV? 00:59:55 Speaker 3: You know that bothers me. It bother when I necessarily you know, you know what's so sing I'm sure you can relate to this when a pet dies. And this was the first time this has happened to me. I noticed. I was so expecting, like, you know, the big memories to be more prominent, but it's the little fabric of your life things that actually caused me to be more upset. The going to bed, the getting up in the morning, the my boyfriend undoing the ironing board, and Fraser would always freak out about the sound of it, or the keys, getting the keys and he would always run for his treat with the keys or like. Those little things then become triggers, right that, then you get sad over and I'm no longer crying as much, but the emotion, the depression hits me in those little moments, and I have to take a breath, move on and cherish the memory. Did you do anything special for the dog with like a did you get the ashes? We're getting ours his soon's they said in two weeks, so that should be next week. But we bought a little memorial thing and like a little picture of Fraser for the apartment and stuff. 01:00:57 Speaker 2: Right, Oh that's lovely, it was. 01:00:59 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:01:00 Speaker 2: Yeah, I wish I could tell you it gets easier. 01:01:02 Speaker 3: It just gets different. 01:01:03 Speaker 2: Yea, it gets different, I suppose, which I guess is better. Yeah, well, I think we should play a game on that coat. Let's play a gift master. I need a number between one and ten from you. 01:01:15 Speaker 3: Eight. 01:01:15 Speaker 2: Okay, I have to do some light calculating. Okay, if I can get my computer going here right now. You can recommend, promote, do whatever you want. 01:01:23 Speaker 3: I'll be right back. Sure. 01:01:24 Speaker 1: Yeah. 01:01:25 Speaker 3: Well, well, if you want to listen to more of me being annoying, you can go to your Making a Worse or my Golden Girls podcast out on the Lanai. You can also follow my drag at Sadie Pine's. But mainly I want to talk about Kathy Baits and misery and how wonderful Kathy Baits is. I recently spoke with her, and she is a delightful human being. She did something fun once with a friend at Amba, which is a record store here in Los Angeles, where she was buying a lot of records, and then she dropped down one of those Amex black cards, which only people who have a certain level of wealth can actually use. And my friend commented on it and said, wow, I've never seen one of those, and she was like tight. And I told her that story and she was like, yeah, I do that a lot and it works. It's a good joke. It's my joke. And Kathy Bates is a wonderful human being and that's just really what I want to put it out into the world. 01:02:11 Speaker 1: Yeah. 01:02:12 Speaker 2: I love that. 01:02:13 Speaker 3: She's just like Titanic, and everyone knows what she's talking about. Everyone immediately knows. That makes sense. Of course you have that card because of the Titanic, makes perfect sense. 01:02:22 Speaker 2: Have you seen one of those cards in the wild? Well, I saw from her, Oh you did see yes, Okay, I saw. 01:02:27 Speaker 3: From her, But I've never seen it anywhere else. No, I did not hold it. 01:02:33 Speaker 2: I wonder if there's a weight. 01:02:34 Speaker 3: I don't know. 01:02:35 Speaker 2: I should make those out of a very No. 01:02:37 Speaker 3: I don't even know. It wasn't even like I didn't really get a great look. She just kind of whipped it, but like it might have been purple for all I know. I don't really know. But there is like a thing to the card, like if you see the card anyone who's like obsessed with wealth, which I'm not, but like if you see the card, you know like, oh that person has money, because apparently has like no lemon or something like something crazy, right, something crazy. 01:02:58 Speaker 2: I don't know. Yeah, I don't quite know what you would need that. 01:03:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I don't. 01:03:04 Speaker 4: Don't have a credit limit. And I will say, as somebody who worked as a bartender and a barista, I held it. 01:03:09 Speaker 3: Many many, many many metals. 01:03:12 Speaker 4: Yes, it's black and it feels it's like metal, and it's it's you're just like, oh, you're you're it's kind of like you're swinging your dick around with this. 01:03:21 Speaker 3: Is it a titanium? I think I have an Apple card that's like that, that's very heavy and titanium and it's my main credit card and doesn't it's not it's just like Amazon, you know, or not Amazons Apple? 01:03:34 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know whatever. Yeah, Kathy, Kathy, Kathy is the one. 01:03:39 Speaker 3: She has a new show coming out, Mattlock. 01:03:41 Speaker 2: What it's Mattock again. 01:03:43 Speaker 3: She's she's like a I don't know the full story, but I think she's like a cousin or something of Mattlock. And she's in New York City, I believe, and and Mattlock is there and yeah, wow, she's going to be Mattlock. 01:03:55 Speaker 2: Okay, this is how we play gift mess right, and three gifts. Three things you can give away, yes, and her name, three celebrities. You're gonna tell me which celebrity you would give which gift and why? 01:04:05 Speaker 3: Okay. 01:04:06 Speaker 2: The three things you'll be giving away today are number one, a fear of water, Number two a thick beard, and number three Grammy for Best Rock Performance. These are the celebrities, Michael Jordan, Katherine Hahn, and Roma Downey. 01:04:23 Speaker 3: Oh, Roma Downey, that's a that's a twist. Well, I think Katherine Hahn needs to do the best Rock Performance. I feel like she could actually do very well at that. I don't know why, but I feel like I would want to see that, you know. 01:04:38 Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like she's got kind of an edge. Yeah, and like she seems like she has taste. Yeah nothing any good band of her wins that award. 01:04:45 Speaker 3: But she is married to Mark Burnett. 01:04:48 Speaker 2: Wait you just said Katherine Hahn. 01:04:50 Speaker 3: I'm sorry, no, yeah, Roma Downing is married to Mark is going to be the metal the Rock Performance winner. That is because she needs to do that. 01:05:00 Speaker 2: Yes, that is funny. 01:05:01 Speaker 3: That is funny Rama Downing where there's walking water and that was the other one, fear of. 01:05:07 Speaker 2: Death, fear of water, and uh, thick beard. 01:05:10 Speaker 3: Thick beard. Rama Downing is getting the thick beard only because I don't know exactly what she would do with that, but she'd probably pray over it, touched by an angel situation, and she would probably consult her husband, who I think is actually evil. 01:05:27 Speaker 2: Oh, I mean I think everyone's kind of on the same page. 01:05:31 Speaker 3: My favorite survivor, I love Survivor. 01:05:33 Speaker 2: There's a lot of great but I think that's because he's the devil. 01:05:36 Speaker 3: He's holding onto secrets that could be beneficial to you. 01:05:39 Speaker 2: I mean, I think that that man has done things that. 01:05:41 Speaker 3: And I think Rama Downing is not touched by an angel, she's touched by evil. 01:05:45 Speaker 2: No, no, no, you don't stay married to Mark Burnett if you're an angel. 01:05:48 Speaker 3: Thank you. 01:05:49 Speaker 2: I mean it's a tract. Oh maybe she's a real sweetheart. She's not nothing, but she's not. 01:05:55 Speaker 3: She looks at jelly beans and she thinks they're evil, And who would think that? I love jelly and so Michael Jordan. I think it would be funny to it was Michael Jordan, Right, Michael Jordan having a fear of water is actually really funny, freaking because he's so tall. He's so big that when someone that large is afraid of something, it immediately is more funny, especially if they're afraid of something ridiculous, you know, like cats. I recently interviewed Lapetea and Neonggo. She had a deathly fear of cats. She had to go to cat therapy in order to do a quiet place day one wow cat therapy. 01:06:30 Speaker 2: But the therapy works. 01:06:31 Speaker 3: It worked, and now she has a cat. 01:06:33 Speaker 2: Wow. 01:06:33 Speaker 3: And one of my last interviews that Fraser was a part of was with Lapida and we were bonding over our cats that she both had. You know, she became a cat person and wow. 01:06:41 Speaker 2: I wonder how long that therapy was. 01:06:43 Speaker 3: Probably not too long because she went into production she was and she has a cat in the film, so like she has like the cat's a prime a dog. Well, she asked they wouldn't let her. 01:06:52 Speaker 2: There are so many other pets. I think it's intentional. 01:06:54 Speaker 3: I think it's actually good because I think the cat because if you think about it, I mean, any pet in that sort of world where it has to be quiet, it would be bad. But the cat in particular could really fuck some shit up. But maybe get away from one of the monsters. I don't know. Anyway, Michael Jordan being afraid of water is just really. 01:07:10 Speaker 2: He turns on the faust. 01:07:11 Speaker 3: Can you imagine? I want to see Michael Jordan's squeal. 01:07:15 Speaker 2: I wonder if Michael Jordan's ever squealed. 01:07:17 Speaker 3: Michael Jordan is so hot? 01:07:19 Speaker 2: Do you think so? 01:07:19 Speaker 3: I do? 01:07:20 Speaker 2: I think he's looking uh that documentary, he was looking a little like he's not getting all his fruits and vegetables. 01:07:27 Speaker 3: Well he is older now, yeah. 01:07:28 Speaker 2: But there was something just like he looked a little sickly to me. 01:07:31 Speaker 3: You remember his Haines commercials. 01:07:34 Speaker 2: Oh, of course it was when he had that ear ring. Yeah, yeah, there was some sexiness happening. 01:07:40 Speaker 3: And then when he played baseball for a little while and you got a better look at him because. 01:07:44 Speaker 2: That if it's doing more form fitting exactly. 01:07:45 Speaker 3: But I mean, baseball player outfits are by far the sexiest outfits. 01:07:50 Speaker 2: That's amazing. You really see their. 01:07:52 Speaker 3: Thigh in the butt, whereas like football, even though they're tights, you actually don't see as much as you need. Baseball gives you stuff to work with. 01:08:01 Speaker 2: That's very true. Yeah, it's like, uh, I've thought about this a lot. Although I feel like soccer players are usually in a pretty sexy uniform. 01:08:09 Speaker 3: Well, they have more of a propensity to show stuff while playing because those shorts are baggs. They're flipping around and they jump on each other, which hot. But then also jump on each other. Yeah, they jump. 01:08:20 Speaker 2: Are we talking about it? 01:08:21 Speaker 3: Don't they? They jump for the ball. I don't know the two people who should be talking about we should, but sometimes when they jump, they're like, oh my god, my hand accidentally grace the short and my my beautiful bracelet is caught on the short and it pulls it down. And then you see something. You've seen that on Twitter and I know you have, and now you can like it without anybody knowing. 01:08:41 Speaker 2: Just talking about like a fight of the day. 01:08:44 Speaker 3: They might have a live strong bracelet back in the day. And I mean, I'm just saying soccer is a very hot outfit, but baseball shows the goods in a way, yeah, shows the goods. And because of baseball, I feel like your buck gets bigger, button thighs are better with baseball, and so it just makes it even more hot. 01:09:04 Speaker 2: Michael Jordan was in that for like three months. 01:09:06 Speaker 3: And I was happy. 01:09:07 Speaker 2: Everybody got a peak. I was happy, and then I go back to basketball? 01:09:11 Speaker 3: Did he go back to basketball? 01:09:12 Speaker 2: As far as I know, I don't remember. I think it was kind of like a brief, embarrassing thing with baseball. 01:09:17 Speaker 3: My only connection to Michael Jordan is I had a very large overdu fye of space Jam at Blockbuster, and that is it. That's like all I have to Michael and the Haynes commercials. 01:09:28 Speaker 2: Blockbuster was very nasty about over Hollywood Video would let you kind of abuse it as long as you wanted you could do, which they closed down sooner. 01:09:37 Speaker 3: Yeah. True, but I mean Blockbuster. I mean I had, like my credit was sucked for a while because of that block Is that true? Because of Space Jam? My brother lost the Space Jam video. And then when I went to college and I tried to like apply for credit cards, I couldn't because my brother fucked up my credit because he didn't return Space Jam. 01:09:50 Speaker 2: I didn't realize that videos. 01:09:52 Speaker 3: When apparently I don't know, you know, people that they I was told that was the reason that I mean true, Now I think it's gone. I think now it's all like it's a well far gone now at this point it's twenty years ago. 01:10:02 Speaker 2: But still wow, wow, that's I mean, how far the video rental industry has fallen. 01:10:08 Speaker 3: Well, true, it can. 01:10:09 Speaker 2: Affect your I still buy Blu Rays. I mean, I think that's smart. I love a physical media. 01:10:14 Speaker 3: And you sometimes you can't get some of the films, And I love a criteria. I love a bit. I'm a big film buff, so I buy the blue rays of like the criteria and the ones that I have to have. 01:10:22 Speaker 2: I feel like at some point the whole grid is going to shut down and anyone who owns physical media is going to rule the planet. Yes, everyone's going to want to watch their. 01:10:30 Speaker 3: Videos and well then they're going to want to come over to my yeah exact and watch it on my blue TV. 01:10:34 Speaker 2: YEA one thing that you needed to repair before the apocalypse. Well, I think you played this very well. 01:10:41 Speaker 3: Oh good, I'm glad. 01:10:42 Speaker 2: Yeah, let's get Roma Downey and that Beard asap. 01:10:45 Speaker 3: She is such a bit. I don't know why, but she is. I know she's a bit. 01:10:51 Speaker 2: I feel like, yeah, I mean, there's just come for me. 01:10:53 Speaker 3: Romana stands, but like. 01:10:54 Speaker 2: There's some Trump voting going on in that house. 01:10:57 Speaker 3: I often will not talk bad about someone I don't know, but I do feel confident talking bad about her. I feel like I feel like the future will play me safe and not cancel me for talking about her. 01:11:07 Speaker 2: Ah okay, well it's time for the final segment of the podcast. This is called I said no emails people right into I said no gifts at gmail dot com. You know what they want to beg for answers. These people are desperate. 01:11:20 Speaker 3: I love this. 01:11:20 Speaker 2: We've a podcast. Will you help me answer a question? All right, this is dearest Bridger. They don't even include. 01:11:25 Speaker 3: You, which is a sign. I'm the famous guest. 01:11:29 Speaker 2: I was standing up for you. You should stand up for yourself in this situation. This is rude anyway. It says my father's birthday is coming up and I am at a complete loss as to what I should buy for him. He frequently asks for outlandish birthday and Christmas gifts and we oblige, but he never ends up using them. Examples include punching bag, meat, smoker, telescope, drum set, and the list goes on and on. I feel my family has wasted so much money on him over the years. That's a nice thing to say about dad. Should I continue to entertain his delusional gift ideas or stick to something more practical? Thanks in advance for your guidance. And that's from Jessica in Philadelphia. 01:12:09 Speaker 3: I think this outlandish gifts. I think the father wants outlandish gifts and they're actually giving them giving him practical gifts that they think are outlanding. 01:12:19 Speaker 2: You feel like they thought, let's give dad a practical punching bag. 01:12:22 Speaker 3: I think a punching because it's physical activity. I would take a punching back and be like, oh I can work out that to me, sensible. 01:12:28 Speaker 2: But she's saying he asks for them, he asks for the punching bag, that. 01:12:31 Speaker 3: Maybe he wants something actually outlandish, like toilet paper with his face on it. 01:12:36 Speaker 2: Or saying he's like hinting he's sewing the lies like a daring you. 01:12:40 Speaker 3: Lean into the outlandish. I mean, like condoms with his mother's face on it, like something true. I mean, I don't know why he's using connage at this point. He asked children he doesn't really need him. Maybe they're at that stage in the marriage they don't need that. But whatever it is, I think, like, go go authentically outlander. 01:12:57 Speaker 2: Right, He's saying, my life is boring and bored of you. People helped me, helped me here crazy and so but yeah, what I mean, what is Jessica ever going to I mean, what I'm going to say is, don't get him anything. They've tried and tried and tried, and he doesn't use any of the things. 01:13:12 Speaker 3: Oh, really, don't get him anything. On you've been to a Spencer gift no one can go to Spencer's Gifts and not buy something. 01:13:19 Speaker 2: Spencer' still in business. 01:13:20 Speaker 3: Yes, there's one of the Glendale gallery you're kidding. Yeah, that's true. It's right down from the pizza place, the Blaze Fire Pizza whatever. That makes sense on the top part, the part of them all that no one goes to that the gym is also. 01:13:30 Speaker 2: Actually forgotten part of earth. 01:13:32 Speaker 3: Yeah, it is, it is, you have. I had gone there because I have a friend. My friend Brent loves to talk about Elliott and he thinks Elliott loves nipple clamps, and so one time he doesn't for the record listeners. But one time I needed to find nipple clamps and it's actually hard to find nipple clamps. They're not at Target, but they. 01:13:50 Speaker 2: Had them at they had them at Spencer's. That yeah, that feels like something you would have to go to a sex shop. 01:13:55 Speaker 3: I don't even know where a sex shop is. 01:13:57 Speaker 2: Go to West Hollywood. 01:13:59 Speaker 3: I don't want to go to West Holly. 01:14:00 Speaker 2: It's a long drink. 01:14:00 Speaker 3: Again, we open with me talking about a float that was filled with books and magazines. So like, I'm not going to West. 01:14:05 Speaker 2: Hollywood, but you are willing to go to the third layer of the Glendale Galleria. 01:14:09 Speaker 3: That actually is practical to me because then I can actually go to Target too and get some actual stuff done. True, you know what I mean. 01:14:14 Speaker 2: I mean they've got it all there. 01:14:15 Speaker 3: I have it all there and there. You don't really have to worry about carts too much. Actually that Glendale Galleria. 01:14:20 Speaker 2: Oh interesting? At that Target? 01:14:22 Speaker 3: Yeah? That Target is fine? Yeah? Target? 01:14:23 Speaker 2: Okay there, Yeah, baskets though I don't know where the baskets are going. 01:14:27 Speaker 3: Are you more of a basket person more? 01:14:28 Speaker 2: I don't buy that many groceries, and so I love a basket any opportunity to hear groceries. How do you eat? I don't cook. It's shameful. 01:14:34 Speaker 3: You don't cook. 01:14:36 Speaker 2: It's very embarrassing. 01:14:37 Speaker 3: God, I love to cook. You know what's my new favorite thing? 01:14:40 Speaker 2: It cooking is your new favorite? 01:14:42 Speaker 3: No, my new favorite thing to cook is so my friends adjusted at Costco. They have the little because I love wings. Okay, I love wings, but I don't love deep fried wings. I love an air frier wings. And so I get the wings and I put them in my air fire and I seizon them how I like, and then I get buttermilk ranch dressing. Oh, and I dip and I just sit in front of the television and I suck the bone dry. And it is erotic. I am sitting there watching Jumping Jack Flash sucking that bone dry on DVD. Mind you sucking that bone dry? 01:15:11 Speaker 2: Are you dipping it back into the ranch? Of course you're dipping the bone into the ranch. 01:15:15 Speaker 3: Well you have to. I'm digging the excess meat that is left in the bone that I didn't get from the first lickage. 01:15:20 Speaker 2: Ranch is a much malign dressing, and I will is it malign people? There are people who feel about ranch, and I've never been able to understand because it feels like such a crowd pleasing item to me. 01:15:31 Speaker 3: Yes, I don't. Actually, I'm not a big fan of just straight up ranch. I need the butter milk ranch, which is a distinctly different ranch. It's worse for you. But I'm on nozembic and I know when to stop now, and I feel like ranch. 01:15:43 Speaker 2: There's no health ranch. 01:15:45 Speaker 3: No ranch is never help out. You can't. Calories cannot come into play. When you're get the best version, get the best of the best. You're eating wings here. 01:15:53 Speaker 2: It's a delicious thing to dip anything. 01:15:55 Speaker 3: It's very easy to make though. I think you would like that. 01:15:58 Speaker 2: Oh, I do you have any or chick the chicken air fryer? Need to get? 01:16:03 Speaker 3: Oh, get an air fryer. It's changed me. I barely use my oven anymore. 01:16:08 Speaker 2: I'm just just gonna sit on the counter. 01:16:10 Speaker 3: No, it won't. 01:16:10 Speaker 2: It's like getting a treadmill, where it's like I'm gonna use that and then. 01:16:14 Speaker 3: Yeahs I had that at the beginning of the pandemic, and then I got up to three forty four. 01:16:19 Speaker 1: Yeah. 01:16:19 Speaker 3: No, I think that the air fryer really is like it has. It has changed me. You can bake cookies in it. 01:16:24 Speaker 2: See that's interesting because I only bake two cookies a day, and I could. 01:16:27 Speaker 3: Wait you, but you don't you bake two cookies a day? 01:16:31 Speaker 2: Yes, I bake two cookies and night, one for me, one for my boyfriend. 01:16:34 Speaker 3: Do you really? 01:16:35 Speaker 2: Yes? 01:16:35 Speaker 3: Wait, how do you do? Do you make the cookies or do you make the dough? You make the dough. 01:16:39 Speaker 2: I make about dough about once a week, and you just freeze it and then refrigerate it and then if there's too much dough will end up freezing some of it. 01:16:47 Speaker 3: That is the most durable thing that I would never do for my boyfriend. 01:16:52 Speaker 2: A little scary. I don't know. I love a cookie. 01:16:54 Speaker 3: Do you put it in a in a toaster oven or the oven oven? 01:16:57 Speaker 2: Oh? 01:16:57 Speaker 3: You actually cook the two cookies in the oven? 01:16:59 Speaker 2: I am of the problem. I'm using an entire oven to bake two cookies. 01:17:02 Speaker 3: You heat that heats apouse? You No, no, it doesn't. 01:17:06 Speaker 2: You don't feel it, or at. 01:17:07 Speaker 3: Least I feel it. But I'm a I feel heat. A toaster oven would solve that problem, and then you just put that right in there and it would actually cook faster. 01:17:14 Speaker 2: I bet too, within the air friar you mean or toaster ava? 01:17:18 Speaker 3: You could do either for a cookie. 01:17:19 Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm just it's a hard sell for me. 01:17:22 Speaker 3: Interesting. 01:17:23 Speaker 2: I mean, is it an impractical gift that Jessica could give to Dad or is there another kitchen? 01:17:28 Speaker 3: Oh my god? What if I don't know if Dad is a homosexual or heterosexual, but what if his spouse, let's say, starts cooking just a cookie for him each day and a cookie for them each day, and that is that is actually an adorable thing to do. I'm never gonna do it, but I love that you do that. 01:17:44 Speaker 2: Okay, Well, Jessica's parents need to start making each other cookies at. 01:17:48 Speaker 3: Home, cookies at home. 01:17:49 Speaker 2: Maybe you can give it that giant pizza oven. 01:17:51 Speaker 3: Oh that would be delicious. Do you have I have a friend who was on Bakeoff and he just got this massive pizza oven thing. 01:17:56 Speaker 2: Your friend was on bacoff? 01:17:57 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a great guy, Maddie. He won last season and he got this like massive pizza oven thing right that he has in his backyard and I'm obsessed with it. 01:18:07 Speaker 2: How often is he making you pizza? 01:18:09 Speaker 3: Well, I'm not in the UK that much, so he's in the he's on like the actual bake off, the one that people care off, you know, And no, I'm never I've never. I'm not. He's never baking it for me there. But I want to go to his place and I want to, Oh you have to. I want to have all of the pizza. 01:18:24 Speaker 1: Yeah. 01:18:25 Speaker 2: If I knew someone who was on Bakeoff, I would be booking a flight right. 01:18:27 Speaker 3: Well, now now that I don't, you should. You could be friends with people on bakoff? Oh, just friends with just normal people. Oh, you could be friends with people on Bakoff. Especially if you start telling them that you just pake a cookie, one cookie for you and your boyfriend's day. That's your thing, that's your storyline. You're going to be on Bakeof moved to the UK. 01:18:44 Speaker 2: I would be kicked off Bakeoff first round, though, But the only cook cookies. Basically. I made my first cake with a friend a few weeks ago and it did turn out nice. But you know, cookies are low pressure. They know how to make them. I know the mechanics of a cookie. 01:18:58 Speaker 3: I find cookies to be more difficult to me though. Why I never I can bake a cake. My mom was a baker, like a professional baker, and I so I can bake a cake, and I can bake a pie, and I can bake all those things. But cookies I never can find it. And oftentimes it's the oven itself. But I can never find the right balance of heat to cookie that that gives it the exact thing that I want from the cookie. For a crunchy, I prefer a crunch on the out, a chew on the end right. I like that, but it has to remain stable. You have to be able to hold it in your hand and not fall apart, and I have never been able to get to that point where the cookies turn out very well. 01:19:31 Speaker 2: It's a tricky. It requires a lot of different things happen that. 01:19:35 Speaker 3: I don't that I don't. I wish I was my mom's about I can pick a cake. I'll make a cake, but anything else scares me. 01:19:40 Speaker 2: That's a big investment. If that goes wrong, we ruined. I've thrown away all of them. 01:19:44 Speaker 3: I feel like it's hard to ruin a cake. 01:19:46 Speaker 2: Well, I would be the one to do it. I don't know. Jessica, get your dad a submarine. I think we answered the question perfectly. 01:19:54 Speaker 3: I think we did too. 01:19:55 Speaker 2: I mean, she certainly can't. 01:19:57 Speaker 3: Get condoms with his mom's face. 01:19:59 Speaker 2: Yeah, they're options here. 01:20:01 Speaker 3: I bet there has to be. I wonder if the printing. 01:20:03 Speaker 2: Like Etsy does that interesting. I feel like you can get just anything. Yeah, it's become a dangerous website. Totally totally, very dangerous website. 01:20:13 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I've got. 01:20:14 Speaker 2: My cat food here. Yeah, I mean I do have raccoons come into the backyard. 01:20:19 Speaker 3: Don't keep it out here. 01:20:20 Speaker 2: I could the raccoon. 01:20:22 Speaker 3: I'm going to tell you you don't. You don't have to feel bad about throwing it away. Either you can totally throw it away. 01:20:27 Speaker 2: This is a yeah, it's a this is an interesting one. 01:20:29 Speaker 3: This was an emotional gift on on a level that was like I need this off my hands, but I physically cannot throw it. I've had my boyfriend throw out other things because I physically cannot. 01:20:38 Speaker 2: I know, I mean again, and we don't have to get too deep into this because it is a deeply emotional thing. I know that exact, exact feeling. It's a nightmare. 01:20:47 Speaker 3: I can't do it. I can't. There is even when we got his picture to go with his ashes that were getting I couldn't. They hit our building, which is there insane. They like take packages and they put them somewhere weird and we can't find it. And I knew I was gonna blow up if I had to deal with it, so I had to have my boyfriend just has to deal with those things because I well, it's just too emotional. 01:21:04 Speaker 2: I'm glad I could help facilitate. 01:21:06 Speaker 3: Some So yes, thank you for that, thank you for the cat food. You're welcome. I'm so glad you're able to be here, and I'm so happy to be your least famous dud it. I want that as an honor. Please please put that as the hashtag. 01:21:19 Speaker 2: We'll put that in your credits. Thank you, HL and Scott Parentheses. Famous person on the podcast. 01:21:28 Speaker 3: Just follow me, I guess while I still have an Instagram. Who knows that all could be gone tomorrow. 01:21:35 Speaker 2: Thank you for being here, Thank you so much for having me listener. The podcast is simply over. We've been all over the place here and I hope you're not in tears. I hope you can have a nice rest of your day and uh, go on, go do something. I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend on Aalise, and it's beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Coottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said no Gifts, I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? He lie? Invit? 01:22:25 Speaker 1: Did you hear Funna made myself perfectly clear. But you're a guess to me. You gotta come to me empty, and I said, no guests, your presences presence en and I already had too much stuff. 01:22:50 Speaker 3: So how do you dare to survey me?