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Speaker 1: This is the Fred Show.

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Speaker 2: Vegas and Round Trip Bear Fair. A confirmation text will

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Speaker 1: All thanks to the Live Nation.

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Speaker 2: Here we go morality Monday on a Friday, which soon

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Speaker 2: to be heard somewhere else.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure.

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Speaker 2: So this is from a nineteen year old female. My

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Speaker 2: friend downloaded dating apps like Tinder and Hinge for the

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Speaker 2: first time about a week ago for reference. She's the

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Speaker 2: type that always says she wants a boyfriend, wants to

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Speaker 2: do couples things, feels lonely, win single, et cetera. She's also,

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Speaker 2: in my opinion, at least very normal and average looks wise,

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Speaker 2: not ugly, not super hot, just all right. Since then,

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Speaker 2: she's been complaining to me that almost all of the

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Speaker 2: men are ugly, short, etc. And that she doesn't match

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Speaker 2: with anybody who is hot. I asked to see the

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Speaker 2: people that she was calling ugly, and she showed me

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Speaker 2: her likes, and it showed people that were particularly sort

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Speaker 2: of within her league, also moderately attractive people, moderately attractive men.

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Speaker 2: I told her that these guys were all in her

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Speaker 2: league and that she should give some of them a chance,

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Speaker 2: since she always complains about wanting to be in a relationship.

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Speaker 2: She denied that she's in the same league as them,

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Speaker 2: and said that she's much more attractive than they are.

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Speaker 2: I pointed out in her own words, she doesn't match

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Speaker 2: with any of the guys that she does find attractive,

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Speaker 2: so she's not in their league. She said, I'm an

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Speaker 2: a hole, am I? So if your friend comes to

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Speaker 2: you and says, all these ugly guys only ugly guys

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Speaker 2: want to go out with me, but you find those

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Speaker 2: ugly guys to be just normal looking guys, and you

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Speaker 2: find your friend to be normal looking. This sounds terrible,

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Speaker 2: but like, honestly, like if you have a friend who

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Speaker 2: has unreasonable expectations for and you can dream for whatever

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Speaker 2: you want. But let's face it, I mean, maybe the

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Speaker 2: guy that she envisions may not be interested in her. Maybe,

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Speaker 2: but let's and again this sounds bad, but like, let's

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Speaker 2: just be realistic, right that that maybe she wants to

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Speaker 2: go out with a supermodel, and and maybe there's a

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Speaker 2: supermodel that would want to go out with her, but

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Speaker 2: maybe per capita, she would have a better chance going

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Speaker 2: out with men who are a little bit more less supermodelly.

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Speaker 2: Is that a fair thing to say to your friend

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Speaker 2: eight five five five three five or is that an

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Speaker 2: awful thing to say because you're kind of helping that.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you don't have to call your friend ugly,

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Speaker 2: But you could say, like, hey, you say you want

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Speaker 2: all these here's another way you could say that, I

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Speaker 2: think is nicer. You say you want all these things, right,

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Speaker 2: you want companionship, you want you want a partner, you

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Speaker 2: feel lonely, you want to do couples things. Maybe your

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Speaker 2: expectations are a little high, you know, maybe the things

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Speaker 2: that you're looking for a little high. Maybe, But you

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Speaker 2: also want the hottest guy on the internet. So maybe

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Speaker 2: maybe we should be looking a little more internally, or

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Speaker 2: maybe maybe our expectations and goals are a little beyond

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Speaker 2: what's reasonable because we all know the person who will

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Speaker 2: only date one kind of person, and then that really

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Speaker 2: limits your opportunity to get the other things that you want. Right,

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Speaker 2: So maybe and then also I'm trying to make this

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Speaker 2: sound good, but basically she says her friend is average

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Speaker 2: and should find average people, right, which maybe is fair advice.

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Speaker 2: But we all have probably dated that the person that

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Speaker 2: looks the way we want them to, but they don't

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Speaker 2: have any of the other qualities that we want. Maybe

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Speaker 2: they're not even good people. We've probably also dated ugly

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Speaker 2: people who aren't good people, or ugly people who are

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Speaker 2: very great people and provide all the other things. They

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Speaker 2: love you and they're they're loyal to you and whatever.

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Speaker 2: So I guess my thing is if you're only looking

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Speaker 2: for people who you think are super hot, then you're

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Speaker 2: probably missing a lot of other things.

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Speaker 1: Oh, yes, that's the way you say it, right.

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean I would just say it.

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Speaker 2: You would, So you would you would say to your

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Speaker 2: friend Kiki, you, I'm sorry, but you your expectations are

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Speaker 2: too high and maybe you should bring it back to work.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say, girl.

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Speaker 4: So we all have strengths and weak strengths and weaknesses, Okay, strengths,

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Speaker 4: and I would say, you know, you are really strong

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Speaker 4: in the friendship department.

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Speaker 3: In the personality, Oh.

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Speaker 2: Damn, if anybody calls me, if anyone says strengths and weaknesses,

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Speaker 2: I'm very strong in the personality department.

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Speaker 4: You knock it out the park when it comes to personality.

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Speaker 4: But on the looks and you we could do a

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Speaker 4: little work. And so I think you should give another

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Speaker 4: type of guy a chance.

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Speaker 3: And you know, because or what type of guy is down?

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Speaker 4: You're setting your friends up for failure, Like you're setting

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Speaker 4: a friend up and fel you're telling her that she

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Speaker 4: can go get a hot guy and you know she's ugly, Like,

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Speaker 4: come on.

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Speaker 3: Be for real. You don't think any of your friends

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Speaker 3: are ugly? Do you?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 3: But I don't, Okay, I don't think my friends know

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Speaker 3: what they should go for. You and I know what

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Speaker 3: I can go for, you know, like you could have

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Speaker 3: anything you want. I'm sure, Kaylee.

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Speaker 2: We don't want to get real that we've all probably

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Speaker 2: watched our friends struggle with dating and they and they

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Speaker 2: gravitate towards something that isn't necessarily the most productive, whether

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Speaker 2: it's toxic guys or girls, or whether it's rich guys

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Speaker 2: or guys with a boat, which seems to be a

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Speaker 2: themale dating or or I don't know, maybe they're just

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Speaker 2: they're not prioritizing the right qualities. So maybe that's how

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Speaker 2: you say it. It's like, look, you're really focused on looks,

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Speaker 2: and that's fair. Nobody wants to be with an ugly person.

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Speaker 2: Maybe you don't even make it about their appearance. You

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Speaker 2: just say like, but maybe we should start looking into

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Speaker 2: other qualities because there's more out there.

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Speaker 1: You can never tell your friend that they are not attractive.

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Speaker 6: You cannot say that to someone you love in any circle.

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Speaker 2: That's what I mean, though, But I'm saying, so fus

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Speaker 2: focus on the other stuff.

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Speaker 1: La, Hi, La, how you doing?

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Speaker 6: Hey?

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Speaker 5: How are you?

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Speaker 2: Guys?

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Speaker 7: I love all of you?

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Speaker 5: First off, love you.

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Speaker 1: What are you gonna do?

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Speaker 2: What do you tell your friend If your friend is

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Speaker 2: really focused on looks and they're not necessarily buh of

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Speaker 2: the same caliber of what they're seeking?

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Speaker 5: This is crazy because I mean, I like I text

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Speaker 5: that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, So

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Speaker 5: it depends on what you're looking for in beauty. When

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Speaker 5: you say beauty, do you want a beautiful heart? Do

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Speaker 5: you want a kind heart? Do you want someone to

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Speaker 5: takes care of you? Or do you want to six

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Speaker 5: foot seven fine something? Something that is full of the

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Speaker 5: bad words. So it's just the chance and it will

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Speaker 5: be hard to tell a friends. But if you're a

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Speaker 5: real friend, I would be super honest. I would be

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Speaker 5: super honest. I want to tell her that she was ugly,

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Speaker 5: you know, but I would be like you, guys are compatible.

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Speaker 5: Look at him, look at you. It just depends on

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Speaker 5: what you're looking at him.

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Speaker 1: I'm looking at you with all due respect. Look at

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Speaker 1: him and look at you.

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Speaker 5: Is not jes.

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Speaker 1: That's not the approach. Look at him, look at you.

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Speaker 4: I think that Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Hey, we're just whiteboarding here and no bad ideas. Thank you, La,

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Speaker 2: have a good day. I love you, call anytime. Hey, Mandy,

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Speaker 2: how you doing, Mandy? Good morning?

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Speaker 1: Look at him and look at you.

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Speaker 3: Make a cute baby.

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Speaker 4: That's how you got to say it, because you know

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Speaker 4: they say ugly people make.

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Speaker 3: You baby, Jesus, make a great baby.

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Speaker 1: Two negatives pitive. Don't you remember that?

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Speaker 2: Hey going, what do you say to your friend who's

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Speaker 2: shooting for the stars from a dating perspective and not

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Speaker 2: hitting Because maybe they should be a little bit more reasonable, realistic.

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Speaker 7: Well, there's a way that you can say things to

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Speaker 7: your friend without being a jerk. So like when you're

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Speaker 7: at work you want someone to do something for you,

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Speaker 7: instead of saying, you know, ordering them around to do it,

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Speaker 7: say you know, can you help me? Or you know,

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Speaker 7: when you're talking to your friend, you tell your friend, hey,

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Speaker 7: you know, maybe this guy doesn't look that good, but

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Speaker 7: you know, maybe there is something about him.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so you're saying point out, you know, sort of

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Speaker 2: like nothing to see here, like kind of point out. Uh,

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Speaker 2: just find the positives and elevate them.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, but when you're talking to your friend and you

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Speaker 7: know your friend maybe not be in the same link

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Speaker 7: as the hot people, then maybe tell them, I don't know,

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Speaker 7: there's many fish in the sea.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, getting better, just lying for you. Oh boy. Hey,

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Speaker 2: there's a site for people that look like you and

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Speaker 2: it's not this one.

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Speaker 1: It's called normal people dot com.

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Speaker 7: Hey, there's just a way to say it without being

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Speaker 7: mean about.

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Speaker 2: It, Mandy, with all the expect I don't think it's

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Speaker 2: any of the ways of person. Yeah, yeah, thank you,

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Speaker 2: you have a great day, all right. I know it's

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Speaker 2: a tough one, right, because you want your friend to

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Speaker 2: find what they're looking for. But if they're only obsessed

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Speaker 2: with appearance, and then maybe that's not going to work.

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Speaker 1: Hey, Roberta, Roberta, how are you doing? What do you think?

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Speaker 5: I'm good?

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Speaker 6: So I think that's a friend that needs to go

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Speaker 6: outside on such the grass. Yeah, lower expectations. I wouldn't

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Speaker 6: be a good friend if I would like to my

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Speaker 6: friend like that, because look, I'm gonna be honest with you.

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Speaker 1: Like you look questionable too, so.

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Speaker 3: Understanding now you look, I have found people.

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Speaker 1: I gotta be honest with you. You look questionable too.

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Speaker 3: You look what you've done to these Roberta.

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Speaker 2: Can I ask you here, Roberta, do you have any friends?

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Speaker 5: You know what?

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Speaker 6: You actually have friends? I mean I approached him and

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Speaker 6: I told him, I'm like, look, I am brutally honest.

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Speaker 6: I don't sit here, and I don't beat it around

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Speaker 6: the bush.

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Speaker 1: Don't beat it around the bush.

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Speaker 2: Girl, Never beat it around the bush, Roberta. Just so

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Speaker 2: you never get yourself in trouble with any of the

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Speaker 2: of the authorities. It's beat around the bush. No one's

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Speaker 2: beating anything. But anyway, I'm just trying to help you.

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Speaker 2: I'm being really honestly with you.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, let me give you an example. Okay, me, I'm

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Speaker 6: a heavier, said girl, but I have a really pretty face.

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Speaker 6: My husband, he is not the type.

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Speaker 5: He was very vain.

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Speaker 6: He likes skinny girls, you know, with colored eyes and

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Speaker 6: all this other stuff, and I am the complete opposite.

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Speaker 6: We had been married for almost seven years and we

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Speaker 6: met on the apps.

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Speaker 1: So no, you know what, I think.

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Speaker 2: That's actually I think that's an excellent example. Right, Maybe

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Speaker 2: you're so hyper focused on body type and and maybe

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Speaker 2: if you were a little bit you know, we're entitled

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Speaker 2: to like what we like, but maybe if we were

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Speaker 2: a little less focused on just appearance, because again, we've

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Speaker 2: all dated people who look great and aren't great. Right,

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Speaker 2: So there's got to be a way to say this

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Speaker 2: without being like, no, no, no, you need you could

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Speaker 2: never be with someone like that.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's not how to do it.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's just, hey, you're looking for a lot of

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Speaker 2: different qualities, but we're only focused on one.

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Speaker 1: So let's start looking.

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Speaker 2: Maybe we start looking a little bit less and a

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Speaker 2: little bit less at how they look, and a little

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Speaker 2: bit more the kind of people they are, and then

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Speaker 2: maybe you'll you know, we can cure the loneliness thing

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Speaker 2: and the companionship thing and the other aspects of a relationship, right.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, and I would also work commend the therapist.

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Speaker 2: So so yeah, so you ain't it, you ain't hitting,

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Speaker 2: and you're kind of crazy.

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Speaker 1: You should probably see a thing, ROBERTA.

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Speaker 2: I know, I know you're trying to help, but man,

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Speaker 2: ice friend.

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Speaker 6: You're the least coc in the desert, Like, come on,

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Speaker 6: the last coca in the desert.

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Speaker 1: What are these phrases coming?

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Speaker 2: What you're saying, Robert Roberta, you take a you take

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Speaker 2: your pretty face and go beat it around the bush.

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Speaker 1: Are I love you? Oh my god?

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Speaker 5: No.

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Speaker 2: That was a good point though, yes, no, because I

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Speaker 2: have friends when they were dating.

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Speaker 1: Most of my friends are married now.

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Speaker 2: But it was like, oh, it's gotta be oh, they

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Speaker 2: gotta be tall, skinny brunette. And I'm going you've dated

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Speaker 2: five of them and then they either weren't nice, or

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Speaker 2: they weren't interesting to you or you to.

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Speaker 1: Them, or you're so focused on the type.

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Speaker 2: And so maybe like we brought in our horizons a

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Speaker 2: little beyond that, like what if it's a what if

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Speaker 2: she's not tall and skinny and was in Sports Illustrated

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Speaker 2: or something.

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Speaker 1: That's different than Friend. You're ugly, Well, that's what we've

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Speaker 1: been working on. More Friend Show next,