1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: Hey everyone, I'm so excited because we're going to be 2 00:00:02,560 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 1: adding a really special offering onto the back of my 3 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:09,039 Speaker 1: solo episodes on Fridays. The Daily Jay is a daily 4 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:12,119 Speaker 1: series on Calm and it's meant to inspire you while 5 00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:16,120 Speaker 1: outlining tools and techniques to live a more mindful, stress 6 00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: free life. We dive into a range of topics and 7 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,479 Speaker 1: the best part is each episode is only seven minutes long, 8 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 1: so you can incorporate it into your schedule no matter 9 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: how busy you are. As a dedicated part of the 10 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:32,199 Speaker 1: on Purpose community, I wanted to do something special for 11 00:00:32,280 --> 00:00:35,600 Speaker 1: you this year, so I'll be playing a handpicked Daily 12 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:39,000 Speaker 1: Jay during each of my Friday podcasts. This week, I'm 13 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:42,559 Speaker 1: sharing an inspiring story that motivates me and hopefully can 14 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 1: motivate you too. Of course, if you want to listen 15 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,160 Speaker 1: to The Daily Jay every day, you can go subscribe 16 00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,840 Speaker 1: to Calm. So go to calm dot com forward slash 17 00:00:50,920 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 1: j for forty percent off your membership today. Hey everyone, 18 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 1: welcome back to on Purpose, the number one health and 19 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 1: wellness podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every 20 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: one of you that choose to come back every week 21 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: to become happier, healthier, and more healed. Now. It's been 22 00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 1: an incredible year so far on on purpose. The love 23 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:23,200 Speaker 1: from this community has been unbelievable. There are tens of 24 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:27,119 Speaker 1: thousands of reviews across Spotify and Apple and so many 25 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:30,399 Speaker 1: more wherever you listen to podcasts, whether it's on iHeart 26 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,679 Speaker 1: or anywhere else, and I just want to take a 27 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,800 Speaker 1: moment to say thank you for those They make such 28 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:37,319 Speaker 1: a difference to the way I feel and the team 29 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:41,200 Speaker 1: feels creating this content every single week, and they make 30 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 1: such a difference to new members. If you're a new listener, 31 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: thank you so much for being here. If you've been 32 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: here one hundred times, two hundred times, four hundred and 33 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: sixty one times, I am grateful. If you listen to 34 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:54,360 Speaker 1: us every day, thank you. Whether you're on your first 35 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 1: listen or your one hundred listen, I appreciate you. And 36 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 1: I want to dive into a really interesting topic this week. 37 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 1: And this topic was actually brought to me by my team. 38 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 1: One of my team members said to me, Hey, Jay, like, 39 00:02:09,120 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: I'm really struggling with this. Could you help me? Could 40 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: you do a part on it? Actually that was the request, 41 00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:19,080 Speaker 1: And I love it when something comes so organically on 42 00:02:19,160 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 1: these episodes, I'm always trying to start an organic conversation 43 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,239 Speaker 1: or share a conversation that I've been having with a client, 44 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 1: a friend, a team member, whoever it may be. And 45 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,760 Speaker 1: it was really interesting because this started as one team 46 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: member's request and turned into a team therapy session where 47 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: we were all openly sharing with each other how we 48 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:44,600 Speaker 1: struggle with this. And so what you're about to hear 49 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:52,800 Speaker 1: is actually crowdsourced stories experiences challenges with this subject. And 50 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 1: I hope that as you're listening, not only do you 51 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 1: feel less alone, I hope that listening to this helps 52 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:05,000 Speaker 1: you judge yourself less and stops you from making yourself 53 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:09,280 Speaker 1: feel guilty. And of course, as always, I'm dedicated to 54 00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: giving you the steps, the solutions, the strategies, the methods 55 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 1: so that you can actually break through and move forward. 56 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: Today we're talking about the formidable blocks in our life 57 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: of envy and jealousy. Now, I don't think there's anyone 58 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: in the world who doesn't feel envy or jealousy in 59 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:34,720 Speaker 1: some way or some capacity, And I know it's hard 60 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: to think that, it's hard to believe that there are 61 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 1: people out there who don't feel that way. You look 62 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:42,360 Speaker 1: at someone and you go, well, they must have it all. 63 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: Made you look at someone else and we go, well, 64 00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:49,840 Speaker 1: she has everything, or they have everything. They're good looking, 65 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:53,360 Speaker 1: they're rich, they're famous, they're successful. Everything must be perfect. 66 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: And what I've learned by being closer and closer to 67 00:03:57,320 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: that world, by people I meet and that I've come across, 68 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: is that no one feels that way. Everyone is either jealous, envious, insecure, 69 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 1: or in some way unstable about whatever position or platform 70 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:13,760 Speaker 1: that they have. One of my friends told me this 71 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:18,640 Speaker 1: incredible story, and I'm sharing it with you because it 72 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: really puts things into perspective at that sort of a level. 73 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:27,479 Speaker 1: So he just bought the house of his dreams and 74 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: it was incredible and it was everything he could have 75 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: ever wanted. He was then invited to someone else's birthday 76 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 1: party and he went to their home. And when he 77 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: went to this person's home, they were showing him around 78 00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: the home, and they showed him one piece of art 79 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 1: in their home and his house costs the same as 80 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,920 Speaker 1: the art on this other person's wall. And he said 81 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 1: that that made him reflect just on how at every 82 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 1: stage we can always feel envy, jealousy. So sometimes we think, oh, 83 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:06,120 Speaker 1: when I get that I won't be jealous anymore when 84 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: I achieved that I won't be envious of anyone. But actually, 85 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 1: overcoming envy and jealousy has to be its own pursuit 86 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 1: as we pursue our desires. And this was something I 87 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:23,839 Speaker 1: learned during my time as a monk, where overcoming jealousy, 88 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 1: overcoming ego, overcoming envy, these were pursuits in themselves. There 89 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: was no external achievement that was going to take away 90 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:38,039 Speaker 1: that internal feeling. There was no amount of money, no 91 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 1: amount of awards, no amount of comfort, no amount of 92 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: first class flights, no amount of even just having the 93 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:50,000 Speaker 1: happy family and the perfect setup. Even if you didn't 94 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 1: have these grand ambitions, there was no external point of 95 00:05:55,880 --> 00:06:01,880 Speaker 1: life that would remove and jealousy unless they were removed 96 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 1: strategically and specifically. And so I want to dive into 97 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,720 Speaker 1: just how normal this is because I think one of 98 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 1: the things that keeps us blocked is the guilt we 99 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,719 Speaker 1: feel for feeling it. One of the things that keeps 100 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: us stuck is the amount we judge ourselves. Right, we 101 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 1: all feel achy like we feel upset at ourselves for 102 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,560 Speaker 1: even feeling that way, especially when if it's about a 103 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: family member or a friend or someone in our life. 104 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,039 Speaker 1: I know that we don't like carrying that feeling, and 105 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 1: I know you know what that feels like. So I 106 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: want us to move past that block by recognizing that 107 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,440 Speaker 1: all of us struggle with this. So studies show that 108 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: seventy nine percent of women and seventy four percent of 109 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: men reported envying someone within the previous year. Now, the 110 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,320 Speaker 1: research goes on to show that we envy less as 111 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 1: we age, and that makes sense because as we age, 112 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 1: certain things in our life become more clear, and certain 113 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: things in our life be come more set up to 114 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 1: a certain degree where we get a more realistic view. 115 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:08,719 Speaker 1: So younger people were more likely to be envious about 116 00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 1: academic success, social status, romantic relationships, and of course appearance. 117 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: And one of the studies showed that forty percent of 118 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 1: the people who were researched reported envying the romantic success 119 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 1: of someone else they knew, compared to less than fifteen 120 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,920 Speaker 1: percent of people that were over fifty. And that makes 121 00:07:31,960 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: sense because the people over fifty were already in relationships. 122 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 1: But it's interesting how we do envy less as we age, 123 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:43,840 Speaker 1: either by getting somewhere or getting something, or either by 124 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: maturing and I want to talk about that active maturing 125 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: rather than just naturally envying less. I think the natural 126 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: process of aging and envy and jealousy decreasing is great. 127 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: It's something we can all look forward to. But I 128 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,240 Speaker 1: think and while we're in this space of managing it 129 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: and figuring it out, it's so important that we learn 130 00:08:05,560 --> 00:08:09,880 Speaker 1: to purify and neutralize these feelings because what envy and 131 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 1: jealousy do is that they end up blocking our growth, 132 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: and they end up blocking us from celebrating other people's growth. Right, 133 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: They're not useful emotions in that when they are negative 134 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: in our lives, it actually stops us from focusing on 135 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: our growth and our success and the past we want 136 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: to take, and it stops us from celebrating, appreciating, and 137 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 1: admiring others. One of the studies I looked at from 138 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:42,200 Speaker 1: American psychologists Daniel J. Dell Priory and Sarah Hill and 139 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,600 Speaker 1: David M. Buss, and this was from a great article 140 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 1: by Reine Zittelmann. And in that article, it breaks down 141 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 1: the common things that women and men envy, and that's 142 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:58,280 Speaker 1: what the psychologists wanted to focus on. So women admitted 143 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: that they found these things they envied more so, they 144 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 1: envied physical attractiveness, they envied popularity, they envied social ease, 145 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:14,560 Speaker 1: they envied family relationships, and they envied better clothing. Those 146 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: were generally the things that women envied, and the study 147 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,000 Speaker 1: was focused on looking at the difference in what genders envied, 148 00:09:21,559 --> 00:09:26,760 Speaker 1: and men more frequently admitted that they envied other people's 149 00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:32,959 Speaker 1: romantic success, greater access to financial resources, ownership of status 150 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 1: item a particular thing, greater academic success, and superior athletic talent. 151 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: So it's really interesting to see how even as men 152 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: and women, we envy and are jealous of different things. 153 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 1: And that's why sometimes if you're talking to your friend, 154 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:51,480 Speaker 1: your partner about it, you may find that you find 155 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,080 Speaker 1: different things triggering. But the point is we all find 156 00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:57,320 Speaker 1: something triggering. I think that's what I always like to 157 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,760 Speaker 1: recognize is that we may all have different challenges, but 158 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:04,560 Speaker 1: we all have the challenge in and of itself. You're 159 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,239 Speaker 1: not alone. You don't need to feel bad or guilty 160 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:12,640 Speaker 1: or beat yourself up about having this trait. It is 161 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:16,760 Speaker 1: a human trait, a human experience to have this trait, 162 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,880 Speaker 1: and the majority of us are experiencing it someway or 163 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 1: the other. And the fact that you're here today because 164 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: you want to break through it and you want to 165 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:29,400 Speaker 1: overcome it, I think is what we need to take 166 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,839 Speaker 1: confidence in. And I'm always trying to shift your mindset 167 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 1: away from self judgment to break through because blocks growth. 168 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:45,440 Speaker 1: Judgment stops you from taking action. Now, it's really interesting 169 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,280 Speaker 1: because a lot of researchers have looked at the difference 170 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 1: between jealousy and envy, and there's lots of different versions 171 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 1: of this, and I'll only share what I learned during 172 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,840 Speaker 1: my monk time, which I found to be very useful. 173 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 1: There's this idea that there is a difference between jealousy 174 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 1: and envy, and in among teachings, it was shared with 175 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 1: us that jealousy is passive and envy is active. And 176 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 1: what I mean by that is jealousy is where you're like, 177 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:21,240 Speaker 1: I wish I had that. Envy is like they don't 178 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:26,880 Speaker 1: deserve that, right. There's that slight difference, and it's important 179 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 1: for us to know which when we're struggling with because 180 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:32,480 Speaker 1: one is a more extreme version of the other. Envy 181 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:36,080 Speaker 1: is a more extreme version of jealousy. The idea that 182 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: not only do you want it for yourself, you don't 183 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: think the other person deserves it. That can be a 184 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 1: really harmful thought and harmful experience to yourself and others, 185 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: because it can push you away from the people you 186 00:11:48,559 --> 00:11:51,559 Speaker 1: deeply love. It can push you away from the people 187 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:54,720 Speaker 1: that you deeply value, the people that mean so much 188 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:58,120 Speaker 1: to you, the people that you believe in. Right, it's 189 00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,320 Speaker 1: so frustrating having this feeling when you're like, I love 190 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: this person, I want them to win, but I just 191 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,720 Speaker 1: feel a little bit jealous about them. Right, So, what 192 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,679 Speaker 1: I thought I'd do in order to direct and guide 193 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:13,600 Speaker 1: and give structure to our conversation today is I wanted 194 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:17,199 Speaker 1: to talk about the different types of how jealousy shows 195 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,320 Speaker 1: up in our lives, because I think it's really important 196 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:25,640 Speaker 1: to understand the different symptoms of how it shows up 197 00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 1: so we can truly be vigilant. There are three steps 198 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 1: to making any change in your life. First is awareness, 199 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:37,079 Speaker 1: the second is addressing it, and the third is amending it. 200 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:40,720 Speaker 1: We first become aware, then we address, and then we amend. 201 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,200 Speaker 1: And so first we have to become aware of where 202 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,319 Speaker 1: are all the ways and all the places in how 203 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,880 Speaker 1: my jealousy shows up. Now, the fact that you're here 204 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 1: shows to me that you're already self aware. It's already 205 00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,520 Speaker 1: something that you know is blocking you from achieving your 206 00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: greatest potential. And that's what I've found about jealousy and 207 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:02,320 Speaker 1: envy is that they suck out the energy from your 208 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 1: life and your focus so much because your energy is 209 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 1: all pointing outward instead of pointing inward and forward. Right, 210 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: that's a choice we get to make in our life. 211 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:17,600 Speaker 1: Is our energy pointing outward because we're looking outward at 212 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,959 Speaker 1: what everyone else is doing, or are we focused on 213 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:26,199 Speaker 1: inward and moving forward ourselves. So let's start with awareness. 214 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 1: There are different types of jealousy, and all I want 215 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:31,679 Speaker 1: you to do is make a mental note of whether 216 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,680 Speaker 1: there's a tick next to this or a cross next 217 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,720 Speaker 1: to it. Some of you may have a lot of ticks, 218 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,080 Speaker 1: some of you may have a lot of crosses. But 219 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 1: I want you to refine your awareness, your radar of 220 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 1: how well you are being aware of this. And again, 221 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,760 Speaker 1: we're going to do this in a safe space, a 222 00:13:45,800 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 1: non judgmental environment, because remember we're all struggling with this. 223 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:51,760 Speaker 1: We all have a difficulty with this, we all have 224 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:54,679 Speaker 1: a challenge with this. And as I tell you these stories, 225 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 1: an example some of which my team shared with me 226 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:00,640 Speaker 1: in confidence, and they knew that I was going to 227 00:14:00,679 --> 00:14:03,480 Speaker 1: share on the podcast without naming names and giving away people. 228 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,520 Speaker 1: I think it's really really important that you get a 229 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 1: sense of which ones you struggle with. So one of 230 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:13,120 Speaker 1: the first types of jealousy is when you're going through 231 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: a challenge and other people are not going through that challenge. 232 00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:20,440 Speaker 1: So you're going through something but no one in your 233 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 1: life is going through that, and you're jealous because their 234 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:28,400 Speaker 1: life is easier. You're jealous because their life is more 235 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:33,040 Speaker 1: seamless or appears more seamless. You're jealous because you feel like, 236 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,840 Speaker 1: I wish my life was that easier. I wish my 237 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,320 Speaker 1: life was free of this stress that I'm having to 238 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:41,160 Speaker 1: go through. How many of you have ever felt that? 239 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,800 Speaker 1: Put your hand up right now, take a screenshot of 240 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 1: this moment as I walk through this list. This is 241 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 1: a great conversation started between your friends as well. I 242 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 1: know I've definitely felt this before. I'm going through something 243 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,400 Speaker 1: I wish I didn't have to go through it, and 244 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: I can see other people are not going through it, 245 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 1: and I feel jealous of them. So if you're experiencing 246 00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 1: this type of jealousy where you're going through a challenge 247 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,520 Speaker 1: that others are not, and you're wishing you had their life. 248 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:12,640 Speaker 1: There's a really key technique to improve this mindset, and 249 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:18,520 Speaker 1: this technique is zoom out. The technique is called zoom out. 250 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 1: You want to zoom out to look at the bigger picture, 251 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 1: not the specific thing. For example, if you're looking at 252 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 1: someone else's life and you're going, I'm going through this 253 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:36,680 Speaker 1: stress that person is not. I wish it was like 254 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: that for me. You want to zoom out. Let me 255 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,640 Speaker 1: paint a picture for you. Let's say you and your 256 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 1: friend are both moving home or you're moving country. So 257 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 1: let's say in that scenario that your stuff gets lost 258 00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,560 Speaker 1: and their stuff doesn't. So their stuff arrives on time. 259 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,040 Speaker 1: Your stuff gets lost. You're now stressed out because you're 260 00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,880 Speaker 1: dealing with talking to the moving company, you're talking to 261 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 1: the airline, you're talking to insurance, and you're looking at 262 00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:06,680 Speaker 1: their life and going, well, they've moved in, they're comfortable, 263 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 1: they're like watching Netflix with their partner, and like they're 264 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 1: thinking about furniture and all this kind of stuff, and 265 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:16,080 Speaker 1: your stuff's all lost, and you're jealous of them because 266 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,920 Speaker 1: you're like, I wish that happened to me, why didn't 267 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:21,960 Speaker 1: it happen to me? In those situations, we have to 268 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 1: zoom out and look at the bigger picture. There are 269 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 1: so many moments in our life where our life will 270 00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 1: be easier than others, and there are so many moments 271 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:34,800 Speaker 1: in other people's lives where their lives will be easier 272 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:38,240 Speaker 1: than others. And when you judge your life in one 273 00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 1: moment as being better or worse than someone else's, you 274 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 1: could lose all the time if you focus just on 275 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 1: that specific thing, because just on that specific thing, your 276 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 1: stuff is lost. Now. I'm not saying you're not allowed 277 00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 1: to feel stressed. I'm not saying you're not allowed to 278 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: feel upset. I'm just saying that when it comes to 279 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 1: that other person who has nothing to do with it, 280 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 1: absolutely nothing to do your situation, it's important to recognize 281 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,360 Speaker 1: that maybe this part went seamless for them, but hey, 282 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,960 Speaker 1: maybe them getting that apartment was really tough. Maybe they 283 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,960 Speaker 1: waited months and months and months to find that apartment, 284 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,760 Speaker 1: or maybe right now they just lost their job, or 285 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 1: maybe right now they're going through a personal thing, someone 286 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 1: in their family's going through something. I think it's so 287 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:25,040 Speaker 1: interesting and easy when we focus on one area where 288 00:17:25,080 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 1: like I'm behind, my life's messed up. They're ahead, they're 289 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:32,159 Speaker 1: doing great. But when you zoom out, it changes the 290 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:38,320 Speaker 1: complete perspective of what's going on. And this is one 291 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,480 Speaker 1: of the analogies I like to draw is between a movie. 292 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:43,680 Speaker 1: If you walk in halfway to a movie, you may 293 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:48,640 Speaker 1: think a character is having the most incredible time. Imagine 294 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:53,840 Speaker 1: you walked in halfway to Wolf of Walk Street and 295 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,920 Speaker 1: you see him driving the fast car. You see Leonardo DiCaprio. 296 00:17:58,040 --> 00:17:59,880 Speaker 1: Jonah Hill comes up to and goes, how much money 297 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 1: did you make this year? He's like, I made forty 298 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:07,680 Speaker 1: nine million, just shy of a million a week. They 299 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,680 Speaker 1: have that interaction. Jonah Hill's like, I'll quit everything, I'll 300 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 1: work for you. You see him on his yacht. When 301 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:18,680 Speaker 1: you walk into that moment, everything seems great and you think, wow, 302 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,640 Speaker 1: I'm jealous of him. But then if you really look 303 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 1: at what happened before, and then you look at what 304 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,640 Speaker 1: happened afterwards, when you zoom out, you get a full 305 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 1: perspective of someone's actual story and journey. And so I 306 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,879 Speaker 1: want you to zoom out when you're jealous or envious 307 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:39,280 Speaker 1: if something specific about someone, Know that when you zoom out. 308 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 1: We all share in our trials and challenges. We all 309 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:46,080 Speaker 1: have different things going wrong in our life. And Robin 310 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,400 Speaker 1: Roberts once said that if we were all to throw 311 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,959 Speaker 1: our problems into a pile, we'd grab ours right back, 312 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 1: because when we look at the perspective of the challenges 313 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:59,600 Speaker 1: others are going through, even if ours is really tough, 314 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 1: there's a side where we're like, Okay, I can deal 315 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 1: with this, So I want you to zoom out now. 316 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,920 Speaker 1: The next type of jealousy is when we want something 317 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 1: that doesn't have. I want that kind of a guy, 318 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:13,959 Speaker 1: I want that kind of a job, I want that 319 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,360 Speaker 1: kind of a house, I want that kind of an apartment, 320 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 1: I want that kind of vacation. Right, it's constant. We 321 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 1: want what other people have. We see what other people have, 322 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 1: and we go, that's exactly what I wanted. Why don't 323 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 1: I have it? And maybe if it tips into envy, 324 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,520 Speaker 1: we go they don't deserve it either, they're a bad person. Right. 325 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:36,840 Speaker 1: Sometimes we feel that way, and it's really interesting because again, 326 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:41,800 Speaker 1: that's normal. It's normal. It's human nature to look at 327 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,560 Speaker 1: what someone has and think I want it, especially if 328 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:48,159 Speaker 1: it looks attractive, and especially if We've been conditioned for 329 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,880 Speaker 1: certain things to look attractive, and that's the first thing 330 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,399 Speaker 1: I want you to look at. Is it something that 331 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 1: you genuinely find attractive because you care? Or do you 332 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:02,040 Speaker 1: find it attractive because so someone else cares? Have your 333 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,800 Speaker 1: parents always told you people who buy a house are 334 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: set up for life? So now whenever you see someone 335 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,440 Speaker 1: who's bought a house, you think, oh my god, people 336 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:11,959 Speaker 1: who buy a house is set up for life. And 337 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,160 Speaker 1: that voice is in your head, but you don't actually 338 00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,600 Speaker 1: believe that you're really happy in your rented apartment. Right 339 00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:21,000 Speaker 1: Where is that conditioning coming from? Have you had the 340 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,719 Speaker 1: conditioning from your friends that you grew up with that says, oh, 341 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,359 Speaker 1: if you're with this type of a guy or this 342 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,440 Speaker 1: type of a girl, and that's the person who's got 343 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:32,160 Speaker 1: it all together. Now you're carrying that voice in your head. 344 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,119 Speaker 1: So when you see that you want something that someone 345 00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:39,719 Speaker 1: else has, I want you to ask yourself, is it 346 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,879 Speaker 1: truly something you want? It's that self awareness piece. Is 347 00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 1: this something that I really want to pursue and chase 348 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 1: or is it something that I'm just attracted to because 349 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:53,920 Speaker 1: someone's told me to be attracted to it? Somewhere it's 350 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,600 Speaker 1: not really that important to me, but it's become important 351 00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,600 Speaker 1: to me because of how I've been a bit and 352 00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:06,480 Speaker 1: conditioned to believe. So in that moment, ask yourself, is 353 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:09,479 Speaker 1: this something I want? Is this something I want to pursue? 354 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,840 Speaker 1: If the answer is yes, this is something that's important 355 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,679 Speaker 1: to you, and it's not important to you because it 356 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: was important to your mom or dad. It's not important 357 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,919 Speaker 1: to you because it was important to your friend at school. 358 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,720 Speaker 1: It's not important to you because someone took a dig 359 00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,800 Speaker 1: at you or you saw something. If it's truly important 360 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:29,639 Speaker 1: to you, ask yourself how your jealousy can become admiration 361 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,320 Speaker 1: and attraction, and you go, let me study that person. 362 00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:36,200 Speaker 1: How can I do what they did to get there? 363 00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:39,440 Speaker 1: How can I study and learn from them? We turn 364 00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 1: our judgment and our criticism into curiosity, and then we 365 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:47,800 Speaker 1: ask ourself do I want to do that after we 366 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 1: study it? So the first question is is that what 367 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 1: I want? Or is that what society has made me want? 368 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,639 Speaker 1: If it's what I want, let me study what they've 369 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 1: done and learn about what they've done, understand what they've done, 370 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,920 Speaker 1: and then ask myself if I'm ready to do that. 371 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:07,040 Speaker 1: This is how you transform through those three questions, you 372 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 1: transform your jealousy into admiration, appreciation, and attraction. Right, it's 373 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 1: easy for someone to see Christiano Ronaldo world fare a 374 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:21,000 Speaker 1: soccer player and think I want that body. I want 375 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,680 Speaker 1: to look like that, and then you study how hard 376 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,359 Speaker 1: he works to look like that, and then you go, no, 377 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,680 Speaker 1: I'm good, I don't want to look like that. Right, 378 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:32,119 Speaker 1: you can appreciate and admire and respect it without having 379 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:33,919 Speaker 1: to then think I want it because I don't want 380 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:36,040 Speaker 1: to do the work. When you've done the added work 381 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 1: of studying, of learning, of being curious, it's so important 382 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:46,240 Speaker 1: to transform our jealousy into admiration and attraction. Another technique 383 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,680 Speaker 1: for when you want something that others have is you've 384 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:52,800 Speaker 1: got to see jealousy as a sign. Right, You've got 385 00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 1: to see jealousy as a sign if you study that person, 386 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,399 Speaker 1: if you figure out it's something that you really want, 387 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:03,479 Speaker 1: you can focus on building that. If you're fixated on 388 00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 1: what everyone else is doing, you'll never have time to 389 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,720 Speaker 1: invest on yourself. When you sit down right now and 390 00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 1: write down a list of items, if you've clarified that, yes, 391 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 1: this isn't something influenced by my parents, Yes, it's something 392 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,000 Speaker 1: I want. Yes, I've studied their lives. Okay, what are 393 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 1: my action items? How am I going to do that? 394 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:21,919 Speaker 1: What do I need to do in order to get there? 395 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,160 Speaker 1: Who do I need to call? Who do I need 396 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,600 Speaker 1: to know? What do I need to learn? And those 397 00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:30,199 Speaker 1: action items stop you from having your emotional jealousy of 398 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,639 Speaker 1: that person and shift you into giving your focus to 399 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,880 Speaker 1: actually building that for yourself. You can either sit here 400 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,520 Speaker 1: and watch how everyone else is decorating their homes online, 401 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,480 Speaker 1: or you can start decorating yours right now. Right. You 402 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:48,120 Speaker 1: can either sit on social media and look at how 403 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,680 Speaker 1: everyone else is planning their holiday party, or you can 404 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,720 Speaker 1: plan your holiday party right, whatever it may be for you. 405 00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,639 Speaker 1: We can either sit here and fixate on everyone else, 406 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:01,439 Speaker 1: or we can invest in ourselves. And when we shift 407 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,840 Speaker 1: that energy to invest in ourselves, incredible things can happen. 408 00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:06,399 Speaker 1: So I want you to sit down right now and 409 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:09,400 Speaker 1: write down those action items that you've been putting off. 410 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,520 Speaker 1: Studies showed that fifty nine percent of people felt sad 411 00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,560 Speaker 1: after seeing photos from a party they didn't attend posted 412 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:18,520 Speaker 1: on social media. At forty five percent, we're unhappy after 413 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:22,439 Speaker 1: seeing photos from a friend's happy holiday outing, plan your 414 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:26,080 Speaker 1: own party, plan your own game night this week. Create 415 00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:30,360 Speaker 1: what you feel left out of, Create what you haven't built. 416 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 1: Another strategy that really helps with this particular type of 417 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 1: jealousy is something that one of my team members said beautifully. 418 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,840 Speaker 1: Her name's Helena, she's our podcast lead here on Purpose, 419 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,280 Speaker 1: and she said to me she heard something where someone said, 420 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:51,200 Speaker 1: we're only jealous of people we know less about, and 421 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,479 Speaker 1: we're not jealous of people we know more about. And 422 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 1: that's really interesting, isn't it. We want what others have 423 00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 1: because we don't really know too much of how they 424 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,200 Speaker 1: got there, how they got that, what work it took, 425 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:06,760 Speaker 1: what sacrifices, what costic came at. And that's one of 426 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,919 Speaker 1: the bigger challenges with social media. We know very little 427 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 1: about people on social media, and therefore it's an easy 428 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:18,240 Speaker 1: way to feel jealous. Josh Noble, who wrote an article 429 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:22,720 Speaker 1: quoting Kapersky Labs, he found that fifty seven percent of 430 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 1: people said that after going on social media, they've felt 431 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:29,439 Speaker 1: that someone they follow has a better life than they do. 432 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:32,240 Speaker 1: That is a big statement to believe that someone has 433 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,639 Speaker 1: a better life than you do. But when you know 434 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,440 Speaker 1: very little about someone, it's very easy to think that, right, 435 00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,600 Speaker 1: if you're only seeing five percent of someone's life, it's 436 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 1: easy to think that that five percent is their entire 437 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 1: one hundred percent of life. But when you know ninety 438 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,439 Speaker 1: percent of someone's life, when you're closer to someone, you 439 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,639 Speaker 1: actually have a healthier sense of the balance of the 440 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,399 Speaker 1: different emotions they experience. So the key technique for this 441 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,120 Speaker 1: type of jealousy is to find out more about people 442 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:05,560 Speaker 1: you know less about and to transform jealousy into admiration 443 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:10,360 Speaker 1: and attraction. Now, another type of jealousy, or another way 444 00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:14,400 Speaker 1: that it shows up, is being happy that others are 445 00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 1: down right. When someone shares some bad news with you, 446 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,480 Speaker 1: you kind of get a sense of satisfaction from it, 447 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 1: or you get a sense of appreciation like oh, thank god, 448 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 1: it's not just me, and it's like this awkward feeling 449 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 1: of yes, I don't feel alone, but I'm kind of 450 00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:34,720 Speaker 1: happy that they're sad too. Or you make someone else's 451 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:38,439 Speaker 1: positives a negative. So someone tells you, hey, I just 452 00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:39,879 Speaker 1: got this new job and you're like, yeah, but you 453 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:43,640 Speaker 1: don't really love the new boss, right, Or they're like, oh, 454 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:45,560 Speaker 1: I got promoted at my work and they're like yeah, 455 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,840 Speaker 1: but you don't really like the people you work with, right, 456 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,440 Speaker 1: so we play down other people's success, or we turn 457 00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: their positives into negatives, or at the very least, we're 458 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,080 Speaker 1: happy when that person's struggling, or we get a sense 459 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:02,040 Speaker 1: of just a sense of positive boost when someone else 460 00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:06,760 Speaker 1: is struggling. And that's a really, really tough feeling to experience, 461 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:09,960 Speaker 1: even as ourselves. One thing that I want you to 462 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 1: learn to do in this is learn to empathize with 463 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:17,639 Speaker 1: other people's pain and learn to celebrate other people's success. 464 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,880 Speaker 1: If you learn to celebrate others people's success, here's what happens. 465 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:26,000 Speaker 1: People will celebrate your success when it happens, even if 466 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:30,680 Speaker 1: they don't. When you celebrate someone's success, you are partaking 467 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 1: in that success. It becomes part of your success story. 468 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:39,439 Speaker 1: You get to engage with that energy, and the energy 469 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,239 Speaker 1: you need to get out of the state you're in 470 00:27:41,320 --> 00:27:45,639 Speaker 1: right now is the celebration energy. When you feel positive 471 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 1: for other people's wins, you are now creating a positive 472 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:54,439 Speaker 1: energy in your life for your win. You feeling positive 473 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:59,160 Speaker 1: for their win doesn't take away any energy from yours. 474 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:03,440 Speaker 1: It actually fuels you more. But you feeling negative towards someone, 475 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:07,879 Speaker 1: whether they win or lose creates more negativity within yourself 476 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:11,400 Speaker 1: towards your pursuit. See, you are harnessing an energy. Wayne 477 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,920 Speaker 1: Dyer would say, if I squash an orange, the only 478 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,160 Speaker 1: thing that will come out is orange juice. Well, if 479 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:21,120 Speaker 1: you're squeezed and all you have is negativity, that's what's 480 00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:23,440 Speaker 1: going to come out. So if you're trying to create 481 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:27,679 Speaker 1: something beautiful but you're holding onto this negative energy, we 482 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: have to understand. We have to talk ourselves out of 483 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:35,959 Speaker 1: it because that negative energy perpetuates. And ultimately, what all 484 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:40,440 Speaker 1: of this is is a transformation of thoughts. You're not 485 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,440 Speaker 1: a jealous person. You're not an envious person. You're a 486 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:48,320 Speaker 1: person with a jealous thought. You have been trained to 487 00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 1: have a jealous thought. Human nature exists in jealous thoughts. 488 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,160 Speaker 1: And whenever we have that jealous thought, we want to 489 00:28:55,200 --> 00:29:00,240 Speaker 1: say to ourselves, this thought is not me. This thought 490 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 1: is not useful, This thought is not helpful. Let me 491 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:11,200 Speaker 1: celebrate other people's wins. Let me partake in their success 492 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 1: and let it be mine. Let me create positivity for 493 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:21,160 Speaker 1: my pursuit by being positive for other people's pursuits. I 494 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 1: want you to save this moment of the podcast, and 495 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,640 Speaker 1: I want you to listen to that again and again 496 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 1: and again. I want you to write it out in 497 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,240 Speaker 1: your own words and repeat it again and again and again. 498 00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:33,520 Speaker 1: And I promise you what will happen is every time 499 00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:36,400 Speaker 1: you have a jealous thought, it will be replaced by 500 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,920 Speaker 1: the thought that we just created together. And this is 501 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,760 Speaker 1: something I did during my monk time. I wrote scripts 502 00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:45,800 Speaker 1: and scripts and scripts of the dialogue I wanted to 503 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:49,960 Speaker 1: have instead of letting jealousy run rampant in my mind. See, 504 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,240 Speaker 1: we have scripts in our mind that have been developed 505 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:56,160 Speaker 1: over our whole childhood and adulthood. And we've never edited 506 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,520 Speaker 1: those scripts. We've never rewritten them. We've never looked at 507 00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,680 Speaker 1: them and reviewvied them and thrown them in the trash 508 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,120 Speaker 1: because they're not useful, they're not helpful, they didn't get 509 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:07,719 Speaker 1: us anywhere. This is that moment where we burn those scripts, 510 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:11,200 Speaker 1: where we rewrite them, where we review them, we edit them, 511 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,840 Speaker 1: we completely, you know, start from a blank slate and 512 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 1: build again because those scripts, so your script becomes. Celebrating 513 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 1: others makes me more positive to pursue my goals. Appreciating 514 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:33,560 Speaker 1: and admiring others helps me study their success and replicate it. 515 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:39,200 Speaker 1: For myself. Appreciating someone else's win doesn't take away my energy. 516 00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:43,400 Speaker 1: It gives me energy, and putting down or feeling jealous 517 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:48,480 Speaker 1: to towards someone's success actually takes energy away from mine. 518 00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:53,080 Speaker 1: In my first book, Thing Like a Monk, I came 519 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:57,720 Speaker 1: up with this idea of the theater of happiness and 520 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:01,240 Speaker 1: how there are an unlimited number of seats in the 521 00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:07,400 Speaker 1: theater of happiness, and we think that if someone else 522 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 1: is in the theater of happiness that we lose our seat. 523 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:16,719 Speaker 1: We think there's a finite number of seats in the 524 00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:21,680 Speaker 1: theater of happiness, but actually it's an infinite theater. The 525 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 1: theater of happiness is an infinite theater, the type of 526 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:26,400 Speaker 1: theater that we don't know about because we think if 527 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,640 Speaker 1: we don't have VIP tickets, then we haven't got our seats. 528 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,920 Speaker 1: Everything in the world is finite. There is a finite 529 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 1: number of VIP tickets, there's a finite number of coach tickets, 530 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 1: there's a finite number of economy tickets, there's a finite 531 00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:41,160 Speaker 1: number of tickets sold. But the theater of happiness is 532 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:45,920 Speaker 1: the infinite theater, and the infinite theater is a seat 533 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:49,080 Speaker 1: where every single person's name in the world is on 534 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,840 Speaker 1: a seat. There's not two people's names on it. There's 535 00:31:51,840 --> 00:31:54,320 Speaker 1: not two numbers. Where you're stuck at the theater where 536 00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,080 Speaker 1: you're both like, wait a minute, that's my seat, where's 537 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,280 Speaker 1: your seat? Oh, you try to steal your my seat. 538 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 1: It doesn't work like that. The next type of jealousy 539 00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:08,640 Speaker 1: is jealous of being left out. Jealous of being left out, 540 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,760 Speaker 1: and I talked about that earlier, where we're sad when 541 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 1: people don't invite us to their party. Fifty four percent 542 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,960 Speaker 1: of people felt upset when no one liked or commented 543 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,320 Speaker 1: on a photo they posted. We feel rejected and left out, 544 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,440 Speaker 1: and forty two percent were jealous when they saw a 545 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:26,960 Speaker 1: friend had more likes or comments than they did on 546 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,360 Speaker 1: a status update. Imagine you just announced you got engaged, 547 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 1: and your engagement post has less than someone else's, right, 548 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,040 Speaker 1: it's and the jealousies. You feel left out, You feel 549 00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 1: like your friends don't love you as much, You feel 550 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 1: like your friends don't care about you as much. One 551 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:43,800 Speaker 1: of my team members gave this amazing example. She said 552 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 1: she went through in her teens. In her teens, two 553 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,440 Speaker 1: of her friends were jealous of each other, and they 554 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,960 Speaker 1: would tell her and she was jealous that they weren't 555 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:57,760 Speaker 1: jealous of her. Right, Like, it's incredible the tricks our 556 00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,720 Speaker 1: mind plays on us. Like your two friends are saying, 557 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:02,200 Speaker 1: I'm jealous of that friend, and then she's like, I'm 558 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,600 Speaker 1: jealous of that friend, and you're there going I'm jealous 559 00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,320 Speaker 1: that neither of you are jealous of me. Right. This 560 00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:11,560 Speaker 1: feeling of being left out, this feeling of being rejected, 561 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:15,840 Speaker 1: the feeling of being the last to be picked for sports, 562 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:20,120 Speaker 1: whatever it may have been, that feeling that we're jealous 563 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 1: that we're not the care one, we're not the one 564 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:24,040 Speaker 1: who's first picked, we're not the one who's most loved, 565 00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: and it shows up in so many ways. And really, 566 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:33,800 Speaker 1: this jealousy shows us and in a fear. We have 567 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:38,480 Speaker 1: a fear of being replaced, a fear of being rejected, 568 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,840 Speaker 1: a fear of being left behind, a fear of being judged. 569 00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:43,800 Speaker 1: The question we have to ask ourselves is we have 570 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:47,600 Speaker 1: to look inward and say, where is that fear coming from? 571 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,520 Speaker 1: Let me address that fear. Am I fearful because I 572 00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:54,320 Speaker 1: was left out when I was younger? Okay? Well? Am 573 00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:58,480 Speaker 1: I also trying to be part of groups that I 574 00:33:58,480 --> 00:34:00,280 Speaker 1: don't want to be a part of Like. I love 575 00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:02,880 Speaker 1: that movie Mean Girls, right, and it shows the perfect 576 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:06,720 Speaker 1: example of Lindsay Lohan's character who's trying to be a 577 00:34:06,760 --> 00:34:09,000 Speaker 1: part of a group that she doesn't even agree with. 578 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:12,680 Speaker 1: How many of us are trying to be welcomed or 579 00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:16,359 Speaker 1: fit into a crew of people that we don't really 580 00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:17,840 Speaker 1: want to be a part of. We just want to 581 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,719 Speaker 1: be seen as cool, We want to be seen as respected. 582 00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:25,279 Speaker 1: How many of our inner fears are actually making us 583 00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:28,920 Speaker 1: focus on the wrong thing to be jealous about. What 584 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,239 Speaker 1: if we did find a group in a community that 585 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,800 Speaker 1: is actually aligned with our values, maybe it would naturally work. 586 00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,960 Speaker 1: Maybe we wouldn't feel replaced and rejected because we're not 587 00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:40,239 Speaker 1: trying to be part of a group where we don't 588 00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:43,560 Speaker 1: actually belong. Are we trying to force ourselves into a 589 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:48,719 Speaker 1: group or community or squad that isn't our home? And 590 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:52,799 Speaker 1: it's so important that we also build a unique relationship 591 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:57,600 Speaker 1: with people. So often we try to be like someone 592 00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,160 Speaker 1: who's close to someone we like. We try to be 593 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,600 Speaker 1: like their closest friend, we try to be like all 594 00:35:03,680 --> 00:35:06,680 Speaker 1: their friends. We change who we are into who we 595 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,959 Speaker 1: think they want us to be. What does that make us? 596 00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:13,279 Speaker 1: It makes us a replaceable friend because we're now like 597 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,160 Speaker 1: every one of their friends. But if you have a 598 00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:19,080 Speaker 1: unique relationship with someone, if you add something unique to 599 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:23,399 Speaker 1: someone's life. I find that in my world, I see 600 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:28,120 Speaker 1: myself as everyone's spiritual friend. I want to be their 601 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,000 Speaker 1: friend to help them connect with their deepest voice, their 602 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:34,000 Speaker 1: deepest essence. That's who I am to you. I want 603 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,480 Speaker 1: to be a friend that reminds you of your greatest self, 604 00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:38,759 Speaker 1: your deepest potential, And that's who I am in my 605 00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:41,880 Speaker 1: life to my friends. I don't need to be the 606 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,160 Speaker 1: friend who's the fun drunk. I don't need to be 607 00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:47,759 Speaker 1: the friend who's the coolest kid. I don't need to 608 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 1: be the friend who always is doing the best stuff 609 00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,120 Speaker 1: or as the best social life. If I tried to 610 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:57,480 Speaker 1: do all those things, I'd fail at being me and 611 00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,839 Speaker 1: I could be replaced because other people can do that. 612 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,800 Speaker 1: What is it that only you can do? I promise 613 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:04,920 Speaker 1: you there's something. What is it that makes your relationship 614 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,600 Speaker 1: with someone special? What if there was no hierarchy but 615 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:13,759 Speaker 1: just diversity. What if there was no league table but 616 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:18,920 Speaker 1: just love? Why is it always about number one, number 617 00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,440 Speaker 1: two and like my best friend, my bff, my second 618 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:25,319 Speaker 1: you know my worst whatever. Why is it always like that? 619 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,120 Speaker 1: Why can't it just be that we're being who we 620 00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:31,520 Speaker 1: are for someone. I really hope that this episode today 621 00:36:31,560 --> 00:36:35,319 Speaker 1: guides you in your journey with jealousy. What I want 622 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,240 Speaker 1: you to take away is that it's a normal feeling. 623 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,840 Speaker 1: It's a hard one to overcome, but it is possible, 624 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:45,520 Speaker 1: and if you apply some of these techniques that I 625 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,880 Speaker 1: mentioned today, I promise you that you'll start to see 626 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:52,040 Speaker 1: a benefit in your life. I want to thank you 627 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,200 Speaker 1: so much for listening, and I want to leave you 628 00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:57,480 Speaker 1: with the wise words from one of my team members 629 00:36:57,520 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 1: called Annie. She said, we're jealous of the people we 630 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:04,759 Speaker 1: want to be, and not people who we don't want 631 00:37:04,800 --> 00:37:07,319 Speaker 1: to be. As we zoom out wide in our perspective 632 00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,160 Speaker 1: get to know more about the people we know less about, 633 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:16,799 Speaker 1: it becomes an incredible method to overcome and break through 634 00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:20,920 Speaker 1: jealousy and start using it as a sign and using 635 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,520 Speaker 1: it to be curious and study and rewire the thoughts 636 00:37:24,520 --> 00:37:27,279 Speaker 1: in our minds. Thank you so much for listening. I 637 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,319 Speaker 1: hope you share this episode with someone who needs it, 638 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:31,359 Speaker 1: Listen to it with your friends, and maybe even jump 639 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 1: into a conversation about it. I appreciate you so much. 640 00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:38,080 Speaker 1: Leave a review, tag me on Instagram with your biggest takeaways. 641 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,080 Speaker 1: If you haven't heard the Tom Holland episode yet, go 642 00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,560 Speaker 1: and listen to it. It is absolutely epic. I'm so 643 00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,959 Speaker 1: grateful for all the love that we received for that one, 644 00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:50,320 Speaker 1: and thank you so much for being a listener on purpose. 645 00:37:50,800 --> 00:38:03,680 Speaker 1: I appreciate you deeply, lots of love. Albert Einstein once 646 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:07,880 Speaker 1: said there are only two ways to live your life. 647 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:11,520 Speaker 1: One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other 648 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:15,440 Speaker 1: is as though everything is a miracle. You might be 649 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:18,800 Speaker 1: able to guess where I stand. The next seven minutes 650 00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:23,320 Speaker 1: are about leaning into a state of wonder. I'm Jay Shaddy. 651 00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:28,560 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Daily Jay. Let's start off as usual 652 00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:40,680 Speaker 1: with a few centering breaths inhaling and exhaling, expanding the 653 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:53,600 Speaker 1: chest and relaxing, focusing on this moment and arriving in 654 00:38:53,680 --> 00:39:01,800 Speaker 1: the present. So in the mindfulness world, there's this well 655 00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:06,360 Speaker 1: known Buddhist instructor named Wesniska, or Scoop as he's sometimes 656 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:11,800 Speaker 1: called now. Scoop isn't your stereotypical meditation teacher. He's also 657 00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:17,000 Speaker 1: a comedian, performer, author and radio commentator and He's constantly 658 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:22,600 Speaker 1: exploring these massive existential questions like who are we, why 659 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,680 Speaker 1: are we here? And if we're all made out of atoms, 660 00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:29,200 Speaker 1: which are ninety nine point nine nine nine percent empty space, 661 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:33,719 Speaker 1: then what's holding your clothes on? He specifically has this 662 00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:37,600 Speaker 1: one exercise that I love, and really it's a whole 663 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:43,520 Speaker 1: approach to life. It's called be here Wow. All you 664 00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:47,279 Speaker 1: have to do is reflect on the simple yet incredible 665 00:39:47,400 --> 00:39:52,120 Speaker 1: facts of life and allow yourself to be amazed. For example, 666 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:57,480 Speaker 1: without you consciously doing anything, your heart flexes billions of 667 00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,839 Speaker 1: times over the course of your life, something blood through 668 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:05,000 Speaker 1: your body, keeping you alive. And if you laid out 669 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,560 Speaker 1: all your arteries and veins and search connecting them end 670 00:40:08,640 --> 00:40:12,360 Speaker 1: to end, they would stretch all the way around the earth. 671 00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:18,080 Speaker 1: Isn't that absolutely crazy to think about? Scoop calls be 672 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:23,000 Speaker 1: here Wow a workout for your ore muscle. Basically, you 673 00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:26,319 Speaker 1: make your own jaw drop. In his words, one of 674 00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:30,200 Speaker 1: our finest capacities as human beings is to wonder at 675 00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:33,319 Speaker 1: ourselves and the world, no matter what is going on. 676 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:38,160 Speaker 1: He's so right, or is one of our great powers. 677 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:43,200 Speaker 1: When we mindfully direct our attention and curiosity, we can 678 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:48,400 Speaker 1: positively influence our mood, cultivate gratitude, and maybe push pores 679 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:52,680 Speaker 1: on some of our striving and searching, or allows us 680 00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:56,880 Speaker 1: to recognize that we are part of something bigger, something 681 00:40:57,239 --> 00:41:01,879 Speaker 1: frankly unbelievable, and when we do so, we become more 682 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:06,160 Speaker 1: generous toward ourselves and others. As part of his be 683 00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:11,080 Speaker 1: here while practice, Scoop also likes to telescope out literally 684 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:15,120 Speaker 1: and marvel at the vastness of the cosmos. I mean, 685 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:20,239 Speaker 1: consider all the insanely improbable, mind boggling events that had 686 00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:24,600 Speaker 1: to happen for you to exist. The Earth forming billions 687 00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:30,680 Speaker 1: of years ago, evolution, opposable thumbs, technology, think about the 688 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:35,080 Speaker 1: astronomical circumstances that occurred in order to get us here. 689 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:40,040 Speaker 1: With that perspective, I'm extra happy to be here with 690 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,360 Speaker 1: you today. And the truth is, there's so much delight 691 00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,440 Speaker 1: and awe to be found in our day to day existence. 692 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:51,480 Speaker 1: If we just stop and look around, you might see 693 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:55,960 Speaker 1: a hummingbird and watch as it flies backward. Or notice 694 00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:59,600 Speaker 1: the tree outside your window. How old is it? What 695 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:03,840 Speaker 1: is it witnessed? I like to watch videos about space 696 00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:07,640 Speaker 1: exploration and blown away by all the things that had 697 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:11,279 Speaker 1: to happen for people to land on the moon. Like 698 00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:15,880 Speaker 1: astronomer Carl Sagan said, the nitrogen in our DNA, the 699 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:19,200 Speaker 1: calcium in our teeth, the iron in our blood, the 700 00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:22,480 Speaker 1: carbon in our apple pies were made in the interiors 701 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:28,640 Speaker 1: of collapsing stars. We are made of star stuff. It's 702 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:34,160 Speaker 1: astonishing and like be here, wow, teachers. If we consciously 703 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:39,360 Speaker 1: embrace that astonishment, we can transform each day, each minute, 704 00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:45,160 Speaker 1: each nanosecond of our wondrous lives. With that in mind, 705 00:42:45,719 --> 00:42:49,320 Speaker 1: let's work on building our all muscles as we turn 706 00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:56,040 Speaker 1: to our meditation. First, get comfortable wherever you are, settling 707 00:42:56,080 --> 00:43:03,520 Speaker 1: your body and settling your mind, letting go of any 708 00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:11,680 Speaker 1: urge to analyze or judge, to worry or plan, and 709 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:16,520 Speaker 1: instead opening yourself up to the beauty of the world. 710 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:28,000 Speaker 1: Now call to mind any simple yet spectacular fact of life, 711 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:34,440 Speaker 1: and seriously, it can be anything you choose. Maybe that 712 00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:38,919 Speaker 1: a snail can sleep for up to three years don't 713 00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:44,920 Speaker 1: be jealous, Or that on average, kids ask forty thousand 714 00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:50,200 Speaker 1: questions between the ages of two and five, or that 715 00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:54,440 Speaker 1: you're the only you that ever was and ever will be. 716 00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:03,040 Speaker 1: It could even be the fact that right now your 717 00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:07,880 Speaker 1: breath is sustaining and nourishing you without you even thinking 718 00:44:07,920 --> 00:44:16,920 Speaker 1: about it. Whatever you choose to reflect on, see if 719 00:44:16,960 --> 00:44:22,800 Speaker 1: you can lean into a feeling of wonderment and truly 720 00:44:23,280 --> 00:44:35,040 Speaker 1: be inspired by awe. And now let's open this up 721 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:39,760 Speaker 1: as you go about your day to day life. How 722 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:48,120 Speaker 1: often do you experience a sense of wonder How often 723 00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:54,279 Speaker 1: do you look for it? What could you do to 724 00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:59,120 Speaker 1: incorporate the practice of be here wow into your daily routine. 725 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:08,240 Speaker 1: If this message inspired you, remember that you can always 726 00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:11,759 Speaker 1: bookmark this session so you can return here when you 727 00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,799 Speaker 1: need a boost, and make sure to share it with 728 00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:18,279 Speaker 1: someone else who might need it. I can't wait to 729 00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:22,800 Speaker 1: see you again tomorrow. Have a wondrous day.