1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,200
Speaker 1: It's time for today's Strawberry Letter, and if you need

2
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,880
Speaker 1: advice on relationships, on dating, on work, on sex, on parenting,

3
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:10,720
Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey

4
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:15,040
Speaker 1: FM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter right Steve

5
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:21,200
Speaker 1: Tell him, girl, if you don't submit to letter. I

6
00:00:21,320 --> 00:00:25,319
Speaker 1: love your sincerity. I just love it. We just wait.

7
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,240
Speaker 1: We could be reading your letter live on the air,

8
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:31,280
Speaker 1: just like we're getting ready to read this. And wouldn't

9
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:35,480
Speaker 1: that be fun. Let's get to it. Buckle up, hold

10
00:00:35,479 --> 00:00:37,280
Speaker 1: on tight. We gotta call you here. It is the

11
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:44,599
Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter subject. How important is intimacy before marriage? Dear

12
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:49,240
Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley, I am a young single female. I recently

13
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:53,080
Speaker 1: had a conversation with a close male friend about relationships

14
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:56,440
Speaker 1: and sex. He told me that, from a man's point

15
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:59,280
Speaker 1: of view, a man can never fully love a woman

16
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:03,600
Speaker 1: and give his all to a relationship until they have sex.

17
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,880
Speaker 1: This blew my mind because my girlfriends and I are

18
00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,880
Speaker 1: withholding sex now and we really think that we are

19
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:13,400
Speaker 1: doing the right thing by making men wait. I look

20
00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,319
Speaker 1: back at how many men I have turned away knowing

21
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,720
Speaker 1: that they just wanted to have sex with me. If

22
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:22,119
Speaker 1: what my male friend says, is true, then I may

23
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,880
Speaker 1: have missed out on a few good men. My male

24
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:29,319
Speaker 1: friend says, also said that sex does not overshadow all

25
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:33,240
Speaker 1: of the other aspects that make two people to be compatible.

26
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,520
Speaker 1: My male friend also said that sex does not overshadow

27
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:42,120
Speaker 1: all of the other aspects that make two people be compatible. Okay,

28
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,520
Speaker 1: but it can definitely be a determining factor as to

29
00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,600
Speaker 1: whether or not a man will pursue a relationship. I

30
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:53,760
Speaker 1: have not always made men wait, but hurtful experiences have

31
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:57,480
Speaker 1: made me want to practice celibacy. Do you honestly think

32
00:01:57,520 --> 00:01:59,800
Speaker 1: that making a man wait for sex can cause him

33
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,240
Speaker 1: to who's interest in me? Or will the right man

34
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:06,680
Speaker 1: be willing to wait for sex? Please advise? Well, you're

35
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:10,360
Speaker 1: a young, single female, so you know I have to

36
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,320
Speaker 1: tell you like this. You have to do what you

37
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,960
Speaker 1: believe in, Okay. Don't let anyone take you off your

38
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,639
Speaker 1: game by telling you what they believe in and telling

39
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,800
Speaker 1: you what they think you should do. Okay, So if

40
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,640
Speaker 1: you're going to hold out, hold out, hold out for

41
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,280
Speaker 1: the right reasons though, and hold out for the right man.

42
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,600
Speaker 1: You know, you said you're young, You said all of that,

43
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:35,079
Speaker 1: you're single and everything. So please know that you'll you'll probably,

44
00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,839
Speaker 1: you know, come in contact with a lot of men

45
00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:39,600
Speaker 1: who want to get at you, a lot of men

46
00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:42,680
Speaker 1: who are gonna say anything just to get into your pants.

47
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:46,079
Speaker 1: I mean anything, you know it sounds, and they'll make

48
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,040
Speaker 1: it sound really good, you know, and really tempting and

49
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,840
Speaker 1: all of that. So be aware of that young single female.

50
00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:56,040
Speaker 1: He knows you're young, and he's trying to see you know,

51
00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,000
Speaker 1: if you're gonna take the bait, if he can really

52
00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:01,320
Speaker 1: get at you. So don't be strong in that area.

53
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:06,679
Speaker 1: Stick to your beliefs, and yes, as impossible as it

54
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:10,120
Speaker 1: may seem, some men will wait. Now it depends on

55
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,480
Speaker 1: how long and all of that. But some men will wait,

56
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,240
Speaker 1: all right. Uh, they are few and far between. I

57
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,480
Speaker 1: have to tell you that they are few and far between.

58
00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:20,120
Speaker 1: But it doesn't matter what they do. It matters what

59
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,160
Speaker 1: you do with your body. If you want to wait,

60
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:26,079
Speaker 1: you have every right to wait. Steve, you show can

61
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:31,520
Speaker 1: you can just wait? Wait wait, wait wait. You can

62
00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,119
Speaker 1: save it. You can put it in a freezer, what

63
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,720
Speaker 1: you can get it put down in some tubes, you know,

64
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,200
Speaker 1: you can store it in the lab. You could do

65
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,920
Speaker 1: any number of things. You want to do kidding me

66
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:50,120
Speaker 1: right now? I are you kidding me right now? You

67
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:54,520
Speaker 1: ain't got to do nothing, young lady, because it's yo

68
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:59,320
Speaker 1: us right. You have every right to treat it. However

69
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,800
Speaker 1: you won't treat it. You do not have the right

70
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:06,080
Speaker 1: to just pass it out to anybody, which happens to

71
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:09,040
Speaker 1: be a lot of men's ago. So now I'm taking

72
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,800
Speaker 1: a back or to approach to try to teach you

73
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:15,680
Speaker 1: a lesson him. He told you that from a man's

74
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,960
Speaker 1: point of view, a man can never fully love a

75
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,120
Speaker 1: woman and give her and give his all the relationship

76
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:25,760
Speaker 1: until they have sex. Now listen to me. He told

77
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:31,080
Speaker 1: you wrong, but he told you right. See it's a

78
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:34,680
Speaker 1: funny way that he phrased this to you. He said

79
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:39,360
Speaker 1: a man can never fully love a woman and give

80
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:44,560
Speaker 1: his all in the relationship until they have sex. What

81
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:49,240
Speaker 1: he told you wrong, but he told you right, means

82
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:54,360
Speaker 1: first of all, a lot of men will give they

83
00:04:54,440 --> 00:05:04,320
Speaker 1: all to a relationship to get this se to get it. See,

84
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,960
Speaker 1: you can get it all from a man. That is

85
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,440
Speaker 1: no limit to what a man will do for it.

86
00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:14,560
Speaker 1: You can get a man to do through everything if

87
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:16,760
Speaker 1: they want it bad enough. You can set the hoops up,

88
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,679
Speaker 1: set them on fire. You can put a swim tank

89
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,320
Speaker 1: over there with a shamoo in it. Yeah, we're gonna

90
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,479
Speaker 1: do whatever you want me diving here with shammoo, ride

91
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:28,840
Speaker 1: him back, feed him to fish, jump through these hoops,

92
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:35,280
Speaker 1: kill this cobra, drank this raw egg, and then we're

93
00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:39,280
Speaker 1: gonna have sex. Watch what do you do find to

94
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:42,160
Speaker 1: get his ass in that tank with shammoo? You find

95
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:46,159
Speaker 1: to kill that covid, even drank the raw egg, Because

96
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:52,080
Speaker 1: that's what we do for the one we care deeply about. Now, Steve,

97
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:57,640
Speaker 1: why you sound like you're talking crazy? Because sex is

98
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:03,640
Speaker 1: one of the several things that we claim. Hey man,

99
00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:06,600
Speaker 1: this is my wife right here. We claim that this

100
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:11,600
Speaker 1: is my fiance right here. We claim that the sex

101
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:19,920
Speaker 1: is a separate item that belongs to us solely, wholeheartedly.

102
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:24,680
Speaker 1: You can't pass it out. We claim that. So that's

103
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:28,240
Speaker 1: what I'm telling you is that he is right. He's

104
00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:31,680
Speaker 1: telling you wrong that men won't do anything, it won't

105
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,760
Speaker 1: love you completely, because they will. I will clarified even

106
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:37,080
Speaker 1: more with a couple of questions from the ladies about

107
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,320
Speaker 1: this when we come back, because I know this question

108
00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:44,000
Speaker 1: all right, We'll be back at twenty three after the

109
00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:48,200
Speaker 1: hour with part two of Steve's response today's letter subject

110
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:55,680
Speaker 1: how important is intimacy before marriage? Right after this you're listening,

111
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,440
Speaker 1: all right, Steve, Here we are with part two of

112
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,880
Speaker 1: your response. We're ready for the subject of today's Strawberry letter,

113
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:06,520
Speaker 1: how important is intimacy before marriage? Let's recap this young

114
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,560
Speaker 1: lady got this close male friend telling her that from

115
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,480
Speaker 1: a man's point of view, a man can never fully

116
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,480
Speaker 1: love a woman and give us all in the relationship

117
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,120
Speaker 1: until they have sex. That blew my mind because my

118
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,680
Speaker 1: girlfriends are withholding sex now and we really think that

119
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,400
Speaker 1: we're doing the right thing by making men wait, and

120
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,520
Speaker 1: you are the ones that won't wait for you. See. Yeah,

121
00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:29,240
Speaker 1: I don't know if you're saying wait until marriage. Is

122
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,680
Speaker 1: that what she's saying in the letter? But you're making

123
00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,200
Speaker 1: them wait. I look back on how many men I've

124
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,000
Speaker 1: turned to wait knowing that they just wanted to have

125
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,880
Speaker 1: sex with me. If what my male friend said to

126
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,120
Speaker 1: me is truth, then I have missed out on a

127
00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,920
Speaker 1: few good men having sex with you. It sounds like

128
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,640
Speaker 1: she's just saying wait until she's ready, right, Yeah, So

129
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:51,320
Speaker 1: you're not saying my male friend also said that sex

130
00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:55,160
Speaker 1: does not overshadow all the other aspects that make two

131
00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:58,320
Speaker 1: people be compatible. I'm telling you the guy is spot

132
00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:02,280
Speaker 1: on with that statement. Sex does not overshadow all the

133
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,440
Speaker 1: other aspects that two people be compatible, but it can

134
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:08,160
Speaker 1: definitely be a determining factor. That's whether or not a

135
00:08:08,240 --> 00:08:11,400
Speaker 1: man will pursue a relationship. See, you got it wrong.

136
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:16,200
Speaker 1: He should pursue the relationship before the sex. So what

137
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:18,760
Speaker 1: this dude got you thinking is you got to give

138
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:22,520
Speaker 1: away the sex to have a relationship. That's what's backwards

139
00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:25,120
Speaker 1: about the statement. That's why I said the young man

140
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,280
Speaker 1: is telling you wrong. But he's right. But if he

141
00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,640
Speaker 1: can get your mind turn around to thinking the only

142
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,679
Speaker 1: way to have a relationship is that had a sex,

143
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:34,880
Speaker 1: then he got you in the trick bag right where

144
00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:36,880
Speaker 1: all of them wanting. But a man will give you

145
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,640
Speaker 1: a relationship to get the sex. It's what I'm trying

146
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:42,120
Speaker 1: to tell you. A man will treat you right, a

147
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,760
Speaker 1: man will pull out doors, a man will respect you,

148
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,200
Speaker 1: a man will honor you. A man will make a

149
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,640
Speaker 1: commitment to you to get to the sex. You just

150
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,920
Speaker 1: got to get an understanding that once the sex has

151
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,160
Speaker 1: had that that ain't the end of it, and the

152
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,400
Speaker 1: way you find out out is in the ninety day

153
00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,000
Speaker 1: probation period because if he's he ain't serious, he's gonna

154
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,480
Speaker 1: be better though, right, doesn't sex make it better? If

155
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:09,800
Speaker 1: you want to go out again? Sex? But I'm with you.

156
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,520
Speaker 1: Here's the deal. Here's what you're not gonna do it

157
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:16,400
Speaker 1: act like you ain't been over here before. No, well,

158
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,320
Speaker 1: what you're not gonna do is act like you ain't

159
00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,520
Speaker 1: ever been in love. And no matter why they give

160
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:24,000
Speaker 1: it to you, it ain't good. You love me. I'm

161
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:32,160
Speaker 1: right here, you and take your dog with your dogs.

162
00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:36,480
Speaker 1: Want to say this, You have to love me to

163
00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,760
Speaker 1: give it to me. Trust me, you really don't. You

164
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,280
Speaker 1: really don't have to like because nobody ever had you

165
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,719
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. You have to love me like me.

166
00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:46,960
Speaker 1: You didn't have to know me to get to me.

167
00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:52,680
Speaker 1: But let's make it work, though, get your Do you

168
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:55,880
Speaker 1: have any questions about it? All? Right? For this young girl?

169
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,680
Speaker 1: He really asked the question, will a man wait for sex?

170
00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,400
Speaker 1: Now that's few and far between. It's rare. No, it's

171
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,920
Speaker 1: not red. It's really not rad that a man will

172
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:11,280
Speaker 1: wait for sex. You're not saying wait until you but yeah,

173
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,439
Speaker 1: you're saying, wait until you're red, until she's ready. See

174
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:18,520
Speaker 1: that's the problem. See you young girls and women out here,

175
00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,680
Speaker 1: y'all got men, got y'all thinking this up to them

176
00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:24,160
Speaker 1: when they get it or not, hies up to them,

177
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,600
Speaker 1: And it is yours right if anybody needs to be

178
00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:29,520
Speaker 1: calling shots on when this cookie get passed out and

179
00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:31,800
Speaker 1: get dunked in the milk and get crumbled, it need

180
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:35,880
Speaker 1: to be the processor of the cookie. And it ain't

181
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,040
Speaker 1: his until he put a ring, no matter what he

182
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:43,160
Speaker 1: says to you. But damn what he says, it it

183
00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:46,640
Speaker 1: ain't his until he wanted. So now what the problem

184
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:49,679
Speaker 1: is is he got They got y'all twisted. They got

185
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:52,720
Speaker 1: y'all thinking that you got to give him some sex

186
00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,800
Speaker 1: to have a relationship, and that's she's young and that's

187
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,400
Speaker 1: what he's doing to her. Well, and your best friend

188
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:01,280
Speaker 1: is young too, because of he was a grown ass man.

189
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,320
Speaker 1: He'd tell you the truth. But in his mind he's

190
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:08,360
Speaker 1: saying it wrong. But he right because in his mind

191
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,920
Speaker 1: that's how they got it played out. Now. But that's

192
00:11:10,960 --> 00:11:13,000
Speaker 1: why I said, she can't listen to what he says.

193
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:14,839
Speaker 1: She's got to follow her own mind. You and your

194
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:18,240
Speaker 1: girls are doing the right thing. Until that blew my

195
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:21,520
Speaker 1: mind because my girlfriends and I with with holding sex now,

196
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,680
Speaker 1: and we really think that we're doing the right thing

197
00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,400
Speaker 1: by making me and wait, I look back at how

198
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:29,040
Speaker 1: many men I've turned away knowing that they just wanted

199
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:32,120
Speaker 1: to have sex with me. Wow, So you look back

200
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,880
Speaker 1: on all the men who who just wanted to have

201
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,320
Speaker 1: sex with you. So if you told them they're not

202
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,600
Speaker 1: getting no sex tonight and you ain't heard no more

203
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,640
Speaker 1: from him, or you ain't getting no sex this sad

204
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,400
Speaker 1: day where we go out and you ain't heard from him,

205
00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,880
Speaker 1: You've done yourself a great service. Exactly. She must be

206
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:53,560
Speaker 1: in between relationshiship, you changed, and says she got these

207
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:58,400
Speaker 1: two shows, and and what haven't you different? It's just

208
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:02,680
Speaker 1: called growing up? Sure it is, yeah, and your answers

209
00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:06,640
Speaker 1: fifty And that old dog skinned friend of yours is

210
00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:10,560
Speaker 1: older than me. So why y'all to talking to each

211
00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:14,959
Speaker 1: other about getting that right? Is beyond I just don't

212
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:21,160
Speaker 1: like the Steve here. I don't like what's different about him.

213
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:26,520
Speaker 1: Why change, just change? He changed? He just he's so different.

214
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,760
Speaker 1: But I'm gonna let you be. You guys don't agree

215
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,880
Speaker 1: with him. He's making perfect sense. He's making great sense.

216
00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:40,239
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah, he's own point. He just ain't

217
00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:43,840
Speaker 1: my Steve. Real men who are looking for something will

218
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:48,120
Speaker 1: wait for Okay, pimps players that ain't looking for nothing,

219
00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,480
Speaker 1: they ain't waiting for. But ain't hen't here, that's it.

220
00:12:51,679 --> 00:12:54,160
Speaker 1: Ain't that handsome up at your clothes? Don't jump off

221
00:12:54,160 --> 00:13:01,000
Speaker 1: when you see me. I have to wait out. He

222
00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,480
Speaker 1: that's good to come to. He that's good to come

223
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:11,240
Speaker 1: Why the comment I don't understand because I've got no

224
00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:16,280
Speaker 1: body clothes jumped off. We gotta go. Okay, Turner shall walking,

225
00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:19,600
Speaker 1: We gotta go. Listen Email us our Instagram. That's your

226
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,360
Speaker 1: thoughts on today's Strawberry letter. At Steve Harvey f M.

227
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,520
Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show