WEBVTT - Runs In The Family with Deland McCullough 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:02.880 Welcome to good Game of Sarah Spain, where I'm walking 0:00:02.920 --> 0:00:05.720 into my local bookstore pointing to my book and bragging 0:00:05.760 --> 0:00:10.200 to anyone who walks by. Hey, I wrote that. It's Tuesday, 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:12.800 June third, and on today's show, we're doing something a 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:16.000 little bit different and I got to address the elephant 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:18.480 in the room. And we're not talking about Ellie here. 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:22.119 I wrote a book about a man, and for that, 0:00:22.520 --> 0:00:25.720 I'm sorry. There are women in the book, though, So 0:00:25.960 --> 0:00:28.600 if you could stand to listen to a whole episode 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:31.400 that isn't about women's sports, I actually think you'll really 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:34.280 enjoy it. To celebrate the release of my book Runs 0:00:34.280 --> 0:00:37.440 in the Family, an incredible true story of football, fatherhood 0:00:37.440 --> 0:00:39.680 and belonging, I sat down last week with my co 0:00:39.760 --> 0:00:42.320 author and the subject of the book, Raiders running backs 0:00:42.360 --> 0:00:46.280 coach Dylan McCullough. We talk about the sometimes uncomfortable act 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:49.479 of excavating year past, the reactions of his friends and 0:00:49.520 --> 0:00:52.760 family to the book, his emotions as launch day approached, 0:00:52.840 --> 0:00:57.040 and the serendipitous and almost unbelievable circumstances of his new 0:00:57.120 --> 0:01:01.080 job with Pete Carroll and the Raiders. Spoiler alert, y'all. 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:03.800 We've talked openly about the big reveal in this book 0:01:03.880 --> 0:01:06.840 ever since our first story and e sixty feature ran 0:01:06.880 --> 0:01:09.280 on ESPN a few years ago. But if you haven't 0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:10.959 already heard it and you want to read the book 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:14.200 without knowing the twist, wait to listen to this episode 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:15.960 until after you've read or listened. 0:01:15.680 --> 0:01:16.160 To the book. 0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:20.720 My chat with Dylan, plus a WNBA reset, roster movement galore, 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:23.880 and how to switch teams but not owners is all 0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:35.200 coming up right after this welcome back slices. Here's what 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:39.600 you need to know today. Let's start with the WNBA. 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:42.240 We're two weeks into the regular season, so let's take 0:01:42.280 --> 0:01:45.119 a minute to step back and admire the standings and 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:48.360 the gap that's already emerging. At the top of the league, 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:50.760 you got the New York Liberty and Minnesota Links, both 0:01:50.920 --> 0:01:53.880 undefeated through seven games. Then the middle of the PAC 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:56.600 teams including the five and two Atlanta Dream and Phoenix 0:01:56.640 --> 0:01:59.360 Mercury anyone else surprised to see Phoenix all the way 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:02.240 up there. Then all the way at the bottom, we 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:04.800 got the one in six Dallas Wings and Connecticut Sun. 0:02:05.560 --> 0:02:08.520 Worth noting that the tough start has inspired a roster 0:02:08.720 --> 0:02:11.280 change for the Sun Already On Monday morning, the team 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:15.080 announced it had waived Robin Parks and signed Jalen Brown. Brown, 0:02:15.160 --> 0:02:17.200 a six to one guard forward, played for the Dallas 0:02:17.200 --> 0:02:20.040 Wings last season before getting traded to the Indiana Fever, 0:02:20.240 --> 0:02:22.960 who waved her ahead of the regular season. So the 0:02:23.000 --> 0:02:26.120 Sun already trying to make moves to improve things. Obviously, 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:28.560 still a lot of basketball to play this season, but 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:30.880 so far, it does look like Minnesota and New York 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:35.560 are gun in for that WNBA Finals rematch. More hoops, 0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:39.000 The Golden State Valkyries may not be winning games yet, 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:42.960 but their fans are enjoying Balhalla. The new expansion team 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:44.880 is two and four, but the fans are showing up 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:47.440 and showing out. All three of their home games today 0:02:47.680 --> 0:02:51.880 have been eighteen thousand plus person sellouts, including Sunday's eighty 0:02:51.919 --> 0:02:54.359 six seventy five loss to the Minnesota Links, where they 0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:57.280 made a real good run before coming up short down 0:02:57.280 --> 0:03:01.560 the stretch. More WNBA. After all those injuries we mentioned yesterday, 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:04.480 it's not surprising we've got some hardship contract news to 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:07.799 report today down at Phoenix, Wherecalia Copper is still out 0:03:07.800 --> 0:03:10.880 after arthroscopic knee surgery and alyssa Thomas is sidelined with 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:13.840 a calf injury. The Mercury signed Hayley Jones to a 0:03:13.880 --> 0:03:17.200 hardship contract on Sunday. Drafted sixth overall in the twenty 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:20.800 twenty three WNBA draft after four seasons at Stanford, Jones 0:03:20.840 --> 0:03:23.520 played forty games for the Atlanta Dream last season, but 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:27.600 was waved back in May. Meantime, in Indiana, is Caitlin Clark, 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:30.840 Sidney Colson, and Sophie Cunningham are all sidelined. The Fever 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:34.080 signed Airy McDonald to a hardship contract after wrapping up 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:36.640 her college career at Arizona in twenty twenty one. McDonald 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:39.480 played three seasons for the Dream, then spent twenty twenty 0:03:39.520 --> 0:03:42.160 four with the Los Angeles Sparks before getting waved heading 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:46.000 into this season. Despite the circumstances, it's good to see 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:48.920 both of those players back in the w Can you 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:53.280 believe it even more? WNBA Los Angeles Sparks tweener Rakia 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:56.400 Jackson has missed her squad's past two games for quote 0:03:56.480 --> 0:04:00.920 unquote personal reasons, and it's got some folks cyebrows. Race Jackson, 0:04:00.960 --> 0:04:03.360 the number four pick in last year's draft, average over 0:04:03.480 --> 0:04:06.600 thirteen points per game. In twenty twenty four. She's been 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:08.960 coming off the bench for new head coach Lynn Roberts 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:11.440 team lately, and her average is down to seven points 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:15.400 per game. On Sunday, an eagle eyed social media user 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:19.400 claims Rakia unfollowed the Sparks on Instagram and took mention 0:04:19.520 --> 0:04:22.560 of the team out of her bio. We haven't confirmed this, 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:25.359 but we do know that Roberts was asked about Jackson 0:04:25.400 --> 0:04:27.599 in a press conference on Sunday and had this to say, 0:04:27.920 --> 0:04:30.240 per an ex post from John W. Davis of the 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:33.480 Long Beach Press Telegram response to Rakia, Rikey's a big 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:36.160 part of our organization and our team, and. 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:39.760 She's taking personal time. 0:04:39.520 --> 0:04:43.599 And we support her and we're excited to get her back. 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:44.600 When she's ready to be back. 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:49.479 We'll keep you updated on this situation as it unfolds. Meantime, 0:04:49.520 --> 0:04:51.240 I do want to shout out a bright spot on 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:55.520 the Sparks roster, Odyssey Simms. She shined on Sunday, putting 0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:58.040 up thirty two points in her LA Sparks eighty five 0:04:58.120 --> 0:05:00.839 eighty loss to the Mercury. It was sim first thirty 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:05.560 plus point game in six seasons. To Soccer Washington's spirit 0:05:05.640 --> 0:05:08.640 coach Jonathan Heraldez is departing the team to take the 0:05:08.720 --> 0:05:12.560 recently vacated head coaching position at French club Oel Lyon 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:16.360 both teams, the Spirit and oel are owned by Michelle 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:20.440 Kang's company Kiniska. Heraldez was hired by the Spirit last 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:22.680 January as one of the most sought after managers in 0:05:22.720 --> 0:05:26.520 women's soccer after leading FC Barcelona Femini to two Women's 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:30.520 UEFA Champions League titles. He joined the Spirit Midsummer, and 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:33.200 his short time in Washington was highlighted by a runner 0:05:33.240 --> 0:05:36.960 up finish in last year's NWSL championship game and a 0:05:37.040 --> 0:05:39.560 Challenge Cup win to start the twenty twenty five season. 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.159 Spirit assistant coach Adrian Gonzalez, who served as the team's 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:46.279 interim head coach last season before herald has arrived, will 0:05:46.320 --> 0:05:49.200 take over again as official head coach once Heralda's tenure 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:52.600 officially concludes in July. This is the sixth coaching change 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:56.159 since Kang became Washington's majority owner in twenty twenty two. 0:05:56.839 --> 0:05:59.520 To the PWHL, today's the day that teams have to 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:02.159 submit a list of three players that they're protecting for 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:06.480 the upcoming Expansion Draft. Starting tomorrow, the five day exclusive 0:06:06.560 --> 0:06:10.040 signing window begins. That's when Seattle and Vancouver will be 0:06:10.080 --> 0:06:14.600 allowed to start negotiating with unprotected players. Both Vancouver and 0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:17.320 Seattle will be allowed to sign five players each during 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:20.719 this period. Then on June ninth, it's the Expansion Draft, 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:22.960 where both teams will be able to build their rosters 0:06:23.000 --> 0:06:26.840 out to include twelve players each. Like we said before, 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:29.400 only being allowed to protect three players from the jump 0:06:29.520 --> 0:06:32.400 is wild. We're trying not to get too deep into 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:35.880 internet rumors and speculation about our favorite players getting snagged 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:38.159 and relocated. I don't know if I could say the 0:06:38.160 --> 0:06:40.800 same for the players on those teams. If I were them, 0:06:40.839 --> 0:06:45.560 I would be googlin' up a storm. Finally, some cool 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:49.520 news out of Chicago. The Chicago Color Neutral Stars formerly 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:52.440 Red Stars, may be losing most of their games, but 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:55.960 the team's president, Karen Litzo, is winning in the Illinois 0:06:55.960 --> 0:06:59.640 General Assembly. Per release from the Stars, the Assembly quote 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:02.479 voting to pass House built twenty seven to seventy two, 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:05.279 a bill backed by the Chicago Stars that a men's 0:07:05.320 --> 0:07:09.760 the Illinois Sports Facility Authority Act, known as the Equity Amendment. 0:07:09.880 --> 0:07:13.520 This legislation ensures that if conversations are had regarding public 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:17.680 funding for sports facilities through ISFA, that women's professional sports 0:07:17.680 --> 0:07:21.240 teams are to be considered, effectively securing women a seat 0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:23.080 at the table, the bill will be sent to the 0:07:23.120 --> 0:07:27.080 Governor's desk for his consideration. End quote. Now, if you 0:07:27.120 --> 0:07:29.560 listen to the show, you know I often mentioned taxpayer 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:32.520 funds and city assistants as one of the many benefits 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:36.080 enjoyed by men's pro leagues but historically denied to women's leagues. 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:38.480 It feels like there's finally a push in a couple 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:41.880 different places to start demanding equal support and financial assistance 0:07:41.920 --> 0:07:45.800 for women's stadiums and facilities too, which we love to see. 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:50.800 So shout out Chicago. We got to take a quick break, y'all. 0:07:50.840 --> 0:07:52.760 When we come back, it's a big day for me 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:55.720 and my co author, Delan McCullough. Our chat is coming 0:07:55.840 --> 0:08:06.600 up next joining me. He's one of football's premier running 0:08:06.640 --> 0:08:09.480 back coaches, helping nearly twenty backs to one thousand plus 0:08:09.600 --> 0:08:12.680 yard seasons. A five time national finalist for Top running 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:14.440 Back Coach, he played a key role in the chief 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:16.800 Super Bowl win helped Notre Dame get back to the 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:19.240 National Title Game last season and just join the staff 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:21.360 of the Las Vegas Raiders. He and I wrote a 0:08:21.400 --> 0:08:26.200 book together about his incredible life. It's Delan McCullough. Hi, Delan, Hey, 0:08:26.200 --> 0:08:26.800 how you doing. 0:08:27.000 --> 0:08:27.800 Thank you? Thank you. 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:30.600 I'm so excited to just chat about this book. We're 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:33.600 doing lots of interviews together, but me getting to interview 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:35.800 you is very fun and I want to spend most 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:37.880 of our time just you know, talking and not rehashing 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:39.599 the book. So I'm going to give a brief synopsis 0:08:39.640 --> 0:08:41.560 so people kind of know what we're talking about, but 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:44.079 the goal is to get people to buy the book, 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:46.640 so we're not going to give all the good stuff. Basically, 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:52.280 you grew up. You were adopted Youngstown, Ohio, post industrial collapse. 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:55.680 So you had a young radio DJ and his wife 0:08:55.720 --> 0:08:58.040 who adopted you, and when you were two years old, 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:01.000 the DJ decided to leave. Now you've got a single 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:03.960 mom with you and your brother Damon. In a pretty 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:07.480 tough time in Youngstown, she dealt with a turbulent divorce, 0:09:08.679 --> 0:09:11.640 subsequent relationships that weren't always all that great. There was 0:09:11.679 --> 0:09:14.240 some abuse, there were some drugs, and during all of 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:17.080 this you're just trying to figure out what your identity 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:20.560 is as both an adopted kid and as a person 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:21.880 who do I want to be? What do I want 0:09:21.880 --> 0:09:24.960 to become? You find football. Football becomes a sanctuary. You 0:09:25.000 --> 0:09:27.720 become a great player. Get recruited to play for Miami 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:30.839 of Ohio by a fellow Youngstown guy, Sherman Smith, who 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:33.040 had made it big in the NFL and came back 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:35.680 to recruit for is alma mater was coaching there, brought 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:37.679 you there. You break a bunch of records. Things are 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:39.520 going great. You think you're going to be in the NFL. 0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:43.120 Injuries hit the NFL. Dream doesn't happen. You bounce around football. 0:09:43.360 --> 0:09:46.200 You get into teaching. You get into coaching. You're making 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:48.120 a name for yourself as a coach, all while being 0:09:48.360 --> 0:09:51.280 mentored by a handful of your coaches, including Sherman Smith. 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:54.960 You have four sons, and every time you have to 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:56.679 tell them, I'm just not sure what my history is. 0:09:56.720 --> 0:09:58.200 I don't know my birth parents, I don't know my 0:09:58.240 --> 0:10:02.240 medical history. And final in your early forties, the laws 0:10:02.320 --> 0:10:04.480 change and you're able to find your birth certificate. You'll 0:10:04.520 --> 0:10:07.920 find your mom within two days on Facebook. Turns out 0:10:07.960 --> 0:10:10.720 she was a sixteen year old honor student who was 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:13.600 sent away to have you in private, went back to 0:10:13.640 --> 0:10:15.880 school with no one. The wiser only told her parents, 0:10:15.880 --> 0:10:17.560 and her cousin didn't even tell the dad because he 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:19.400 was already off to school and she didn't want to 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:22.720 disrupt his life. And you find her on Facebook and 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:24.679 ask her about her life. It turns out she was 0:10:24.720 --> 0:10:27.160 in Youngstown, right down the street from you, but you 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.960 never knew. And you asked, you know who my dad is? 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:33.200 And she says, your dad is a man named Sherman Smith. 0:10:33.640 --> 0:10:36.079 So it turns out your college football coach and mentor 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:39.600 of nearly thirty years was your dad all along. Now 0:10:39.600 --> 0:10:41.440 it sounds like we're giving away the story, but I 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:43.480 promise you there is so much good stuff in this 0:10:43.800 --> 0:10:46.720 that it's not really about the twist. It's about everything else. 0:10:47.640 --> 0:10:49.480 So Deilan, I just want to ask you were just 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:51.760 a few days out from the official launch date of 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:55.520 the book. How are you feeling? What are the predominant emotions? 0:10:55.880 --> 0:10:56.040 Oh? 0:10:56.080 --> 0:10:57.400 I'm excited, you know. 0:10:57.760 --> 0:11:04.400 I'm looking forward to every getting a resonated message of 0:11:04.440 --> 0:11:09.360 hope and overcoming adversity and searching for who you really 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:12.800 are and overcoming whatever it takes to find out those answers, 0:11:12.840 --> 0:11:15.800 So I'm excited about it. There was some trepidation for 0:11:15.880 --> 0:11:19.080 a little bit, of course, but I'm past that and 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:21.920 I'm excited about the message that the book. 0:11:21.679 --> 0:11:22.160 Is going to say. 0:11:22.720 --> 0:11:25.199 I'm glad to hear that. I was worried about the trepidation. 0:11:25.320 --> 0:11:27.760 I was trying to make sure I was supportive during that, 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.640 because it's tough to tell the whole world your story. 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:33.000 It's tough to unearth some of this stuff. But I 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:35.360 knew once we got to the end, it would not 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:37.439 only serve you and your family, but so many other 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:39.680 people who are going to read it. And I wonder 0:11:39.800 --> 0:11:42.280 that trepidation. What was the toughest part for you in 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:45.480 figuring out, Okay, I'm opening up my life and my 0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:47.760 family and my friends, not only to Sarah to tell 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:49.680 the story, but soon to the world. 0:11:50.400 --> 0:11:54.280 I'm a really quiet person, so I'm really reserved and 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:58.640 to myself, you know. But I think the story says 0:11:58.760 --> 0:12:02.319 this that when I open up and let people in, 0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:04.920 that there's things that people can learn from me. So, 0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:07.600 you know, just just doing that kind of opening myself 0:12:07.679 --> 0:12:11.240 up to other people. But again, I think the thing 0:12:11.280 --> 0:12:13.960 that was overwriting for me is what people can learn 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:16.160 from this, and it was therapy in this for me too. 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:17.240 I mean, it just. 0:12:17.240 --> 0:12:21.720 Really was was immensely therapeutic for me, kind of going 0:12:21.720 --> 0:12:26.720 through having these conversations, writing these things down, having it written. 0:12:26.760 --> 0:12:29.520 At least that first draft was pretty hardcore, man, and 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:31.520 I was like, whoa, this is something. You know, when 0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:33.680 you get it back the way that you got it back, 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:37.960 you don't realize how tough it is, you know, and 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:39.800 it makes you look yourself in the mirror. But once 0:12:39.840 --> 0:12:43.000 we got through, we did kind of smoothed out some edges, 0:12:43.360 --> 0:12:45.360 but not taking away the true flavor for what the 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:46.160 book is going to be. 0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:48.600 I'm excited to see what people get from Yeah. 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:52.520 I remember I was sitting with my friends at dinner 0:12:52.559 --> 0:12:55.480 getting ready to go see Madonna, and that was the 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:57.960 first text I got from you after I sent the 0:12:57.960 --> 0:12:59.960 first draft. And a lot of people as they're writing book, 0:13:00.080 --> 0:13:02.760 they're sort of like checking in chapter by chapter. But 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:04.400 I knew a lot of my interviews with you and 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:06.719 your family would cause me to revise things and go 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:09.160 back and change the order of things. So as we 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:11.679 were doing the interviews and talking, I was like, all right, 0:13:11.720 --> 0:13:13.480 he's going to get the one big first draft and 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:15.560 then we'll work on it together. And I was so 0:13:15.720 --> 0:13:19.080 nervous about what you might say, and you were super positive, 0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:21.360 which I loved. But you also said I learned a lot. 0:13:21.960 --> 0:13:23.240 And I said that to my friend. I was, oh, 0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:24.920 I'm so glad he said he learned a lot. She's like, 0:13:24.960 --> 0:13:26.440 it's his life, what does he have to learn? And 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:29.439 I'm like, girl, I read like nine books to prep 0:13:29.480 --> 0:13:31.240 for this so I could make sure it wasn't just 0:13:31.280 --> 0:13:33.360 about him but about all of us and how we 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:36.040 all get to make these choices about ourselves and our family. 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:40.320 And I was also really happy that throughout your brother 0:13:40.400 --> 0:13:42.319 and some other members of your family were reading it 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.840 and really saying, you got me, you understood me, and 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:48.559 you told my story right. I wonder now that you've 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:50.400 shared the book with more of your friends and family, 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:53.440 were you surprised by anyone's reaction or feedback? 0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:58.360 Not really, you know what it was overall, it was 0:13:58.440 --> 0:14:01.200 very positive. So what I sent to an array of 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:05.079 people now, like hey, friends from long time ago, recent 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:09.280 you know obviously you know, longstanding friends, people in my family, 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:10.320 different things like that. 0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:12.800 Who I knew I would get the truth from. And 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:14.679 you know, at one point. 0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:15.840 I thought, I mean, I would get maybe one of 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:18.200 my cousins say, hey, this ain't a good idea. 0:14:18.280 --> 0:14:21.200 Hey chapter six or chapter fifteen, this is going to 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:23.920 be a problem. But everyone was so supportive. 0:14:24.000 --> 0:14:27.000 Everybody, and I went into it and loaded it's saying, hey, 0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:29.160 tell me the truth, tell me where you think it's 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:31.400 going to be some hot spots, just give me your 0:14:31.440 --> 0:14:32.200 perspective on it. 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:35.360 And it's been overwhelmingly positive. I didn't hear anything about 0:14:35.440 --> 0:14:37.920 any issues or things like that. 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:39.640 And I know it's not perfect, but it's going to 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:43.680 be pretty perfect in how it hits people's hearts and 0:14:43.720 --> 0:14:47.080 hopefully it gives them some insight that can help elevate 0:14:47.160 --> 0:14:49.560 things that they have going on in their own lives. 0:14:49.880 --> 0:14:52.080 Yeah, I'm so glad to hear that. It is scary 0:14:52.160 --> 0:14:54.920 to tell stories, and we all have our own memories 0:14:54.920 --> 0:14:57.400 of things. We all remember things differently. And one of 0:14:57.480 --> 0:14:59.440 the most powerful things you said to me is you 0:14:59.680 --> 0:15:02.640 were telling me these stories of your past and your 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:04.720 childhood and growing up and all these other things. Is 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:08.520 a conversation you had with your adoptive mom Adele. And 0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:11.400 you said, listen, Ma, like I get that this is 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:14.080 how you remember this and I get that you're giving 0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:16.200 me context that I didn't know as a kid about 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:18.240 why you made these choices or why these things happened. 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:20.440 But I was a kid and I didn't know that. 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:23.080 So this is how I took it then. And that's 0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:25.480 the part we have to share, is not the revised 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:27.720 version of now I understand looking back, but how it 0:15:27.760 --> 0:15:30.440 felt for you as a kid as a teen to 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:32.080 go through some of the tough times. And that was 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:34.120 really powerful. And I think that's why it's so useful 0:15:34.200 --> 0:15:37.280 to really get your story out. When it lives in 0:15:37.320 --> 0:15:40.120 your head, you can just keep editing as you go, 0:15:40.200 --> 0:15:42.760 but there's something about putting it down and really being 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:45.160 honest about what it was. You know, one of the 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.600 big parts of this book is choice. You have been 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:50.520 very clear since the beginning that life did not happen 0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:53.120 to you. You chose the person that you are. You 0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:55.760 didn't let a tough childhood hold you back. You didn't 0:15:55.760 --> 0:15:58.000 want to repeat the behaviors of some of the toxic 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.480 parents or parent figures that you had. Where do you 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:03.160 think you found that strength throughout your life to be 0:16:03.280 --> 0:16:05.800 resilient and choose your own path, Maybe not the path 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:07.360 that would have been handed to you. 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:09.040 That's a great question. 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:11.240 I don't know, just just sitting there and hearing some 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:12.920 of the things that I heard, some of the things 0:16:13.000 --> 0:16:19.040 I experienced, you know, just it was like a switch 0:16:19.160 --> 0:16:21.320 was flipped and I was just saying, you know what, 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:23.960 I sat up one night and it's an argument or 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:26.200 whatever going on, and again, not being. 0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:28.320 Disrespectful to anything, I just said, you know what, this 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:32.080 is not how my life is going to be when I. 0:16:32.000 --> 0:16:36.000 Grow up and I'm in a position to have influence 0:16:36.120 --> 0:16:38.360 or I have my own family, that it won't be 0:16:38.520 --> 0:16:42.720 like this. So I took a lot of those lessons 0:16:43.120 --> 0:16:44.960 that I learned to kind of reverse them, because you 0:16:45.000 --> 0:16:46.920 would say, well, shoot, those are some bad things that 0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:47.400 you've seen. 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:49.400 Why didn't you mimic them or what? 0:16:49.720 --> 0:16:52.160 Or they were things that you could end up kind 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:54.800 of falling victim to as far as your decision making, 0:16:54.840 --> 0:16:55.440 And I said no. 0:16:55.840 --> 0:16:57.760 I looked at him as the reverse and said, look, 0:16:57.840 --> 0:16:58.440 I'm glad. 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:02.440 I said, I'm glad that I had these experiences because 0:17:02.440 --> 0:17:04.119 it moted me into who I am, and I wanted 0:17:04.160 --> 0:17:05.320 to be the opposite of let lesson. 0:17:05.600 --> 0:17:07.760 Yeah, that's a through line something that your mom told 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:10.919 you when you were young, which was God gives you 0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:14.120 a choice. You know you can. God gives you let's 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:15.880 you see good and bad, and you get to choose 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:17.760 what you want to be. And it feels like you 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:20.800 kept doing that. You know, it's really a book about you, 0:17:20.880 --> 0:17:23.280 but about all of us and all of our families, 0:17:23.320 --> 0:17:27.439 both birth and found families, and you know, I wanted 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:29.840 to be sure to write about it, and I wanted 0:17:29.840 --> 0:17:32.439 to really understand how interesting it is to be handed 0:17:32.480 --> 0:17:36.119 stuff via blood that's very obvious, DNA and genes, but 0:17:36.200 --> 0:17:39.679 also what were handed via family messaging and lessons and traditions. 0:17:39.720 --> 0:17:42.000 And it's so easy to sometimes take those things as 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:44.840 fact after you hear them over and over, the things 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:47.639 your parents always say, or the kind of throwaway lines 0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:49.960 that they don't even recognize their repeating, and you start 0:17:50.000 --> 0:17:51.800 to internalize it and you're like, well, that's how it is. 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:54.280 But I wanted folks who read it to consider that 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.439 while their genes are decided, they get to choose what 0:17:57.480 --> 0:17:59.359 they passed down to their children. They get to choose 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:01.800 what they continue with their siblings, even with their parents. 0:18:02.000 --> 0:18:04.040 You can go back and heal backwards. If you decide 0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:06.639 something that you have with your family isn't serving you. 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:09.840 Did the book help you have some of those tough 0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:12.320 conversations with your family? Did it bring up some stuff 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:14.240 through reading it that made you want to talk to 0:18:14.280 --> 0:18:15.480 them about some of those choices. 0:18:16.160 --> 0:18:16.360 Yeah. 0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:19.359 I mean it's interesting when you look back and you 0:18:19.400 --> 0:18:24.840 talk about the habits or the tendencies you pick up 0:18:24.960 --> 0:18:27.919 just based on how you were raising. I mean, and 0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:30.119 I was aware of those things, you know, to a 0:18:30.200 --> 0:18:33.360 degree as we went through the book, and I thought about, hey, 0:18:33.400 --> 0:18:37.119 as a young you know, as a young person and 0:18:37.160 --> 0:18:40.280 an young adult, just the way the structure of our 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:40.800 home was. 0:18:40.840 --> 0:18:42.960 And it wasn't anything wrong. A lot of people raised 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:45.679 like this. You didn't question authority, You didn't question some 0:18:45.720 --> 0:18:48.080 things you didn't. You just kind of went with the flow. 0:18:48.560 --> 0:18:50.679 And I talk to people about the books, you know 0:18:50.760 --> 0:18:52.400 right now, shoot a couple hours ago. 0:18:54.000 --> 0:18:55.240 That resonates with people. 0:18:55.280 --> 0:18:58.520 They say, look, I still do that today for me 0:18:59.440 --> 0:19:02.520 in my home, I just said, look, I wanted people 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:04.720 to understand the why, you know. 0:19:04.720 --> 0:19:06.480 This is what we're doing this for. Here's why this 0:19:06.520 --> 0:19:07.119 is happening. 0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:09.320