WEBVTT - It really is the thought that counts

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to realize that when it comes to

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<v Speaker 1>gift giving, it really is the thought that counts. We

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<v Speaker 1>value such thoughtfulness in other people, but we have a

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<v Speaker 1>hard time trusting that people will equally value it in

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<v Speaker 1>our gifts. Recognizing this, though, can make the holidays feel

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<v Speaker 1>far less stressful. The information for today's tip came from

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<v Speaker 1>an interview my producer Lowell Berlante did with doctor Jeff

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<v Speaker 1>Gallick for Bowell's new podcast Prodigy. Doctor Gallick is a

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<v Speaker 1>marketing professor at Carnegie Mellon University, where he studies consumer

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<v Speaker 1>behavior and hosts the YouTube channel Data Demystified. Gifts are

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<v Speaker 1>a huge part of our economy. Billions of dollars are

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<v Speaker 1>spent each year just on Christmas gifts alone, and that's

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<v Speaker 1>partly because the whole concept of gift giving is deeply

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<v Speaker 1>embedded in the human psyche. Gifts are how we tighten relationships.

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<v Speaker 1>They are a physical manifestation of the psychological state of

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<v Speaker 1>caring about another person. Of course, if a gift is

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<v Speaker 1>a physical manifestation of caring, you might think that a

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<v Speaker 1>more expensive gift means you care more, or at least

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<v Speaker 1>that it will be perceived that way. But Dr Galax

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<v Speaker 1>says this is a misperception. There is virtually no evidence

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<v Speaker 1>supporting the claim that a more expensive gift will make

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<v Speaker 1>the recipient happier, and there is a lot of data

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<v Speaker 1>suggesting that what gift recipients care about is the intention

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<v Speaker 1>and thoughtfulness of the giver. In other words, it is

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<v Speaker 1>the thought that counts. On some level. We know this

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<v Speaker 1>when we serve as gift recipients. When we receive gifts,

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<v Speaker 1>we say to ourselves that the gift is a sign

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<v Speaker 1>of the other person's thoughtfulness, and in almost all cases

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<v Speaker 1>that is correct. But once we switch to being gift givers,

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<v Speaker 1>we seem to forget that experience and assume that people

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<v Speaker 1>won't value us if we don't spend X dollars or more.

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<v Speaker 1>It isn't true. Now, you could theoretically give a bad gift,

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<v Speaker 1>but if the gift is given with love and you

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<v Speaker 1>are not passively aggressively trying to tick the other person off,

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<v Speaker 1>it's pretty hard. Once you know that it is the

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<v Speaker 1>thought that counts, you can lean into that reality. Writing

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<v Speaker 1>a card that says something genuine and meaningful will be

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<v Speaker 1>more valuable to most people than a random object ordered online.

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<v Speaker 1>Sentimental gifts are good too. They aren't necessarily valuable from

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<v Speaker 1>a monetary perspective, but they signify something important about the

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<v Speaker 1>relationship that you have with that person. And yes, useful

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<v Speaker 1>gifts are just fine, since it is the thought that counts.

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<v Speaker 1>Flashy and useful things both meet the requirement of you

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<v Speaker 1>thinking about the other person. But the useful stuff, well,

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<v Speaker 1>it will get used. Same thing with pulling something off

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<v Speaker 1>a person's wish list. Sometimes gift givers overthink this and

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<v Speaker 1>think that they can prove their thoughtfulness by going off

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<v Speaker 1>the list. Since any gift shows thoughtfulness, you are perfectly

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<v Speaker 1>fine giving the person something that they specifically stated that

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<v Speaker 1>they want. Here's one last manifestation of the principle that

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<v Speaker 1>it is the thought that counts. Dr Galax research shows

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<v Speaker 1>that non obligatory gifts are the most powerful because they

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<v Speaker 1>show you were thinking of the person at an unexpected time.

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<v Speaker 1>People expect gifts at the holidays. They're still great, of course,

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<v Speaker 1>but a card on a random Tuesday might actually make

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<v Speaker 1>the person happier than an expensive gift for Christmas. Because well,

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<v Speaker 1>you didn't have to have that thought on a random Tuesday,

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<v Speaker 1>but you did. So maybe stash a few gifts away

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<v Speaker 1>for January and February. You'll become known as one of

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<v Speaker 1>the most thoughtful people around. In the meantime, This is Laura.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for listening and here's to making the most of

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<v Speaker 1>our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear from you.

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<v Speaker 1>You can send me your tips, your questions, or anything else.

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast Pod that's b E the number four, then

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<v Speaker 1>Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me an

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<v Speaker 1>email at Before Breakfast podcast. At iHeart media dot com

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<v Speaker 1>that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks so much. Should look forward to staying in touch.

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