1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 1: This has been and actually I almost famous in depth Blake, 2 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 1: thanks for joining this in depth episode on the almost 3 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:12,319 Speaker 1: Famous podcast Home to Have You. Thanks for having me. 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:13,960 Speaker 1: It's been a little bit since I've done something like this. 5 00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:18,119 Speaker 1: So hopefully you're nervous, you know what? You know what 6 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: weirdly I was, I was saying that I was looking 7 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: a coffee of like, it's got to be the coffee 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:26,840 Speaker 1: because I shouldn't be nervous. Yeah, it happens to me. Um, 9 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. But if I go 10 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 1: a bit without uh you know, having a camera around, 11 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: which I do. I go along part of my life 12 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:38,559 Speaker 1: now with no cameras around most Yeah, yeah, I get nervous. 13 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,000 Speaker 1: It's weird how you can just step away for a 14 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,640 Speaker 1: bit and then you get back into and you even 15 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:44,760 Speaker 1: have an interview to talk about your life and things 16 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: feel odd or off and it should just come off. 17 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 1: N Actually, it's just like you're like waiting for something 18 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 1: you might not know how to. It's just like it. 19 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: I think it's natural, right too, It's gotta be. Whenever 20 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:58,560 Speaker 1: there's a camera on microphone a little unsettling something, it's 21 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: not natural. Well, how you doing, how you're holding up 22 00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: what's going on in your life? You know what, I'd say, 23 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:06,760 Speaker 1: I'm good only because it's been time, right, Like time 24 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,280 Speaker 1: heals a lot of things, and time just allowed you 25 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: to kind of reflect and just move past that kind 26 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,679 Speaker 1: of the mayhem that's kind of happened over the last 27 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,399 Speaker 1: little bit. And things are really good now. You know, 28 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: I'm focusing on myself, which I needed, and things are good. Yeah, 29 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,040 Speaker 1: so let's beget into the good a little bit. We're 30 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 1: gonna talk about obviously, um, some of the harder times 31 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,479 Speaker 1: recently in your life, let's talk about some of the good. 32 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: When you say you're good, is there some things that 33 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 1: you've had to step away from or refocus on to 34 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: get back to a place where you're feeling good. Yeah, 35 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 1: I would say one. I think that the main thing 36 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,319 Speaker 1: was because I've been so wrapped up in you know, 37 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 1: trying to find a person over last year and a 38 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: half is completely blanking out women, to be honest, just 39 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 1: because that's the one thing that's kind of toyed with 40 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,559 Speaker 1: my mind over the last little bit. So it's taking 41 00:01:56,560 --> 00:02:00,160 Speaker 1: a step back. Um, let's stay focusing on me. It's 42 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: focusing on things that make me happy, which is uh, wildlife, 43 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,560 Speaker 1: the outdoors, just family obviously. But I'm just following my passion, 44 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,639 Speaker 1: really diving into that, and it's really playing out nicely, 45 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: and that's where I'm finding the most happiness. So I'm 46 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 1: gonna continue to follow that trail until it leads me elsewhere. Yeah, 47 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,720 Speaker 1: you know, I have a lot that we could probably 48 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: relate on and go back and forth on when it 49 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: comes to our experiences on the show and kind of yeah, 50 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 1: the good and the bad and the difficult afterwards in 51 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:31,600 Speaker 1: that that healing process of yeah, trying to get back 52 00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 1: to uh a level place, a place that you know 53 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: you're not always hurt, you're not as angry um, and 54 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 1: you can get passionate about something again. That it takes time, 55 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 1: and it feels like for me, the only thing that 56 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: healed it was just time and getting used to the 57 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 1: new normal. And I think too part of it is control. 58 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 1: I think you lose some control coming off It's a 59 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:56,919 Speaker 1: whole new experience coming off it, and you you don't 60 00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:58,760 Speaker 1: know how to manage it, and so you feel like 61 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,040 Speaker 1: you don't know what you're doing in a way. And 62 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 1: so now I'm just kind of gaining back some control 63 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,840 Speaker 1: in my life and making my decisions and just falling 64 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,959 Speaker 1: into what makes me calm again. Yeah, well let's let's 65 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:10,239 Speaker 1: start at the beginning then, and uh, and we'll catch 66 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:15,119 Speaker 1: up with where you're at currently. Uh here obviously, Uh 67 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:19,079 Speaker 1: you were seeing on The Bachelor at um what made 68 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: you want to go on the show in the first place? Uh? 69 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 1: Full on, It was a combination of not even I 70 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:27,760 Speaker 1: would say it was. It was a dare in a 71 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,919 Speaker 1: way like you're a very out there guy. You always 72 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: do new experience in new adventures. The only guy that's 73 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,280 Speaker 1: not single or that is single, Why do you will 74 00:03:34,320 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 1: try on these dating shows? You know what? You're still single? 75 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:39,120 Speaker 1: So I went on. Well, I I applied first, and 76 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:40,800 Speaker 1: then when I got the first call, I was heat. 77 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,280 Speaker 1: Didn't think I was gonna get on this U S show. 78 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:44,200 Speaker 1: Then when I like I had my first interview, I 79 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 1: had a good feeling I was gonna get on. And 80 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,480 Speaker 1: then I started taking seriously and then I started blanking 81 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,560 Speaker 1: out girls in my life, and I was like, I 82 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 1: take this seriously. It's gonna be I potentially clear or 83 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 1: two others and it's I just dobe in. And then 84 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:57,560 Speaker 1: when you got there, well, I would say three months 85 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: before I found I was gonna be clear. Then I 86 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,640 Speaker 1: started like really diving in and being like, hey, how 87 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,560 Speaker 1: can I learn everything about her? That's where I made 88 00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: a mistake of building her up to be like this 89 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: is the one. Yeah, that's the mistake I continue to make, 90 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 1: and that's why I'm done now building up someone based 91 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 1: on what I think they are on on Instagram or 92 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: before I even meet them. And that's where a new approach. 93 00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:19,520 Speaker 1: We can talk about that later to how I'm going 94 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: to go about meeting girls down the line, and we 95 00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: can talk about now to what like what is your 96 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: new approach? Well, man, I just think that you know, 97 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 1: we have all these apps, we have Instagram with all 98 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:31,440 Speaker 1: these things where we can get so attract to somebody 99 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: because people spill their life through social media, so you 100 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,039 Speaker 1: cant attached that and thinking of you know, somebody based 101 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 1: on an Apple social media or photos or video, and 102 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 1: then it can come to real life and it's it's 103 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 1: not organic. The vibe isn't there, the energy isn't there, 104 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: and you like almost you set yourself up for failure 105 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: because it's not organic. It's not like the old days 106 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: where people met organically and it was like this nice, 107 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 1: Well you know what I mean, like that, I want 108 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 1: I want to try like the old days, I want 109 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 1: to meet you in person. I don't want to put 110 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:00,800 Speaker 1: an emphasis on what I think you are before I 111 00:05:00,839 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 1: meet you. And so taking a step back from doing 112 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: that going forward, do you find like, um, do you 113 00:05:09,200 --> 00:05:11,839 Speaker 1: find any of that comes from maybe like a personal 114 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 1: either uh, insecurity or maybe even a personal like inflated ego. 115 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,920 Speaker 1: For for me, it came from a place of insecurity. 116 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:23,159 Speaker 1: I would see people on social media or i'd see 117 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,400 Speaker 1: them in public, Yeah, and I would build them up, 118 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,040 Speaker 1: and I would never feel like I could be good 119 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,040 Speaker 1: enough for them. I never felt like I could connect 120 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 1: with them, and so I end up just retreating and 121 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 1: and pushing away, uh and never actually allowing myself to 122 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 1: get to know them as a human. So for you, 123 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: where does that come from? Like so you're saying, so 124 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: you're asking me, why did I build them up on Instagram? 125 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:48,159 Speaker 1: Like why? Yeah? Why do you build these people up 126 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,480 Speaker 1: to a place where you're so into it already, like 127 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: you're so committed to it already that like it ultimately 128 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:57,039 Speaker 1: is probably gonna be a little disappointing once you finally 129 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: get to be around them, because nobody's as great as 130 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:01,440 Speaker 1: their social media. Nobody's a great at what they are 131 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,040 Speaker 1: in television. Well, well that's the issue, is like, and 132 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 1: I'm realizing that that's the case. So you know, I 133 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: would just build them up based on what they showing. 134 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,280 Speaker 1: But then I come to your life, like, social media 135 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: gives us a false indication of what people are, and 136 00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: I realized that. So it's not necessarily I'm building up 137 00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,160 Speaker 1: because I didn't think that I was gonna be good 138 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:20,599 Speaker 1: enough for them. You can lay it all your best 139 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: cards on social media and so we see that and 140 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,120 Speaker 1: so you're almost always going to be let down otherwise. 141 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: And so I'm done with being scammed in a way. 142 00:06:28,480 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 1: You know, I think this is a bad could be 143 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:32,599 Speaker 1: looked at in a bad way. But it's like, we 144 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: are the best version of ourselves on Instagram and social 145 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,800 Speaker 1: media platform. So I'm just taking a step back from 146 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: that necessarily that I have, like they're building them up. 147 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: It's just like that's what they show. So it's like, wow, 148 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: all the box are checked here, like, and then I 149 00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:50,279 Speaker 1: get to real life and it's not necessarily the case. 150 00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:54,279 Speaker 1: M do you feel like that. I mean, obviously you 151 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 1: go on this television show. It's I don't know, twelve 152 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: weeks of filming. Uh, it's a condensed environment. There's a 153 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 1: lot of really fantastic dates. You have no distractions. Um, 154 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 1: nobody's pulling at you to do anything. You feel like 155 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,840 Speaker 1: being on the show was had a similar feeling for 156 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 1: you where even you know yourself and the guys involved, 157 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: or for Katie and Claire, you were getting a false 158 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: sense of what life looked like. Yeah. I mean, I 159 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:28,640 Speaker 1: you know, the thing is that I'm not specifically speaking 160 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:32,040 Speaker 1: to you know, Claire, Tasa Katie like building I built 161 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: clear up for sure, but the other two not necessarily. 162 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,320 Speaker 1: But when I got there, yeah, I mean, you know, 163 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 1: everything was perfect there. Everything was perfect there. And you know, 164 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: I think that's a combination of of of things. I 165 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 1: think we really did vibe and mesh really well. Ware 166 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 1: when I'm talking about case specifically. Um, but you know, 167 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 1: we didn't have one thing hold us back really, I mean, 168 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 1: aside from you know, some of the greg stuff that 169 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 1: happen our dates, every conversation we had it was it 170 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: was up and up. We didn't have a little setback. 171 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: So it's just like it was easy to fall in love. 172 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: It was easy to get there is easy to feel 173 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:11,600 Speaker 1: like this was the most incredible thing ever, and then 174 00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: real life came and it was Yeah. I don't mean 175 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: I explain how that feeling was of trying to reel 176 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 1: it back in and making like no, but it was 177 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,400 Speaker 1: like this on the show, like Whire, was just a 178 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: little setback, but the more setbacks the game, it was 179 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: very clear that this was going in a wrong direction 180 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 1: and there is no way of trying to reel it 181 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: back because we were in a honeymoon stage and we 182 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,600 Speaker 1: were not acting like it was a honeymoon stage. So 183 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 1: there's something clearly wrong with that. So yeah, that's how 184 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:45,160 Speaker 1: I would explain it too. You know. My experience was like, hey, um, 185 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: something was off, especially now I'm married, right, and yeah, 186 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:52,240 Speaker 1: I have a terrific wife and uh we have really 187 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 1: hard times where she probably doesn't like me very much. 188 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: Um yeah, but there's a difference to that, like that's 189 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:03,319 Speaker 1: there's never a um, there's never a doubt, there's never 190 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,640 Speaker 1: a question. So can you explain what it was like 191 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 1: for you, um, walking through that season and then when 192 00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,640 Speaker 1: can you come to the realization that hey, this isn't 193 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 1: my partner and that's fine? But this isn't my partner. Yeah, 194 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,280 Speaker 1: it was very clear for both of us when we 195 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:24,760 Speaker 1: when we spent the first long chunk of time together, um, 196 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,400 Speaker 1: and that was about a three week period of time 197 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,320 Speaker 1: in New York and then in San Diego, which I 198 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:33,600 Speaker 1: have discussed before, and that was the first, um, you know, 199 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:38,080 Speaker 1: big chunk that we just we were realizing we're compatible 200 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 1: in a lot of different ways and I was expecting, 201 00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: I think we were both expecting to having a really 202 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,679 Speaker 1: amazing time. And loved Sandy, so she had a new 203 00:09:46,679 --> 00:09:48,920 Speaker 1: place and stuff, and it just from day to day 204 00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 1: there was just tension that I don't really know how 205 00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 1: to explain it. We were just not delivering what each 206 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,400 Speaker 1: other needed during that time frame. And it was that 207 00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: three weeks that all ltimately ended it. I didn't see 208 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 1: her for a while after because I did go to Kenya. 209 00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,079 Speaker 1: You know, with the combination of those two things built 210 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: up and it was just like what are we what 211 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 1: are we doing? And we decided to pull the plug. Mhm, Well, 212 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 1: I do want to take one step back here, and um, 213 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 1: it's such an interesting I mean, so many people can 214 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:21,559 Speaker 1: relate to that, to what you just said, right, you're 215 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 1: dating somebody, things are great and then you just have 216 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 1: this moment of clarity and realization that maybe it's not 217 00:10:26,679 --> 00:10:29,199 Speaker 1: as good as I thought it was gonna be. And 218 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:34,080 Speaker 1: how much of the show then through you know, clarentatious 219 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,520 Speaker 1: season and then your season on Katie's like prepped you 220 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:40,439 Speaker 1: for these moments? You know. One of the things that 221 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 1: a lot of contestants get off and talk about is 222 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:48,240 Speaker 1: their ability to communicate increases. Um how much prep for 223 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: you as a person. Did you feel like you got 224 00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: through going on these seasons to be in a long 225 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:59,000 Speaker 1: term relationship? Yeah? I would say it give me prep, 226 00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:02,000 Speaker 1: but it also get in some ways, I feel like 227 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 1: gave me set back for your confidence in your and 228 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: your You go thinking you know what you know, you 229 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,480 Speaker 1: know what you're doing. You know. I think when you 230 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 1: fail that many times in a row and you feel 231 00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: as big as as that, it's brings you back to 232 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 1: your life a little bit and you don't know as 233 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: much and you're not as ready as you may have 234 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,080 Speaker 1: thought you were, which kind of sucks because we're at 235 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,599 Speaker 1: a point in you're like, well I am anyways, or 236 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,280 Speaker 1: like I want to be you know. Um So in 237 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,320 Speaker 1: terms of setting me up, I think, you know, failures, 238 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:30,080 Speaker 1: no matter what, and no matter how big, the failure 239 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:35,439 Speaker 1: is always going to give you growth in some capacity. Um, 240 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:38,200 Speaker 1: I continue to narrow down what I like more, which 241 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,120 Speaker 1: again I think scares me in a way because I'm 242 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:46,480 Speaker 1: just am I making myself my partner? Is Am I 243 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:48,839 Speaker 1: gonna be more picky because the more failures, AM like, well, 244 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:49,760 Speaker 1: I know what I don't want it, and now I'm 245 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,920 Speaker 1: gonna like narrow it down, narrow down, narrow down? Am 246 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 1: I being too picky? Is it? Now? Am I putting 247 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,720 Speaker 1: it on me? Do I need to be more open? 248 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:58,240 Speaker 1: I don't know much way to go, you know, And 249 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,560 Speaker 1: I hope that it just falls in my lap instead 250 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 1: of chasing it the way I have been. But I'm 251 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: kind of lost to that sense, like, and that's why 252 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:09,280 Speaker 1: I'm trying to focus on myself the most, because I 253 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 1: don't have the answer. Ben, I know how it? Yeah, 254 00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 1: you know, Well it's hard too, because, as you're saying, 255 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 1: part of the healing process for you is doing some 256 00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:30,960 Speaker 1: of the things you love. And so by doing some 257 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,200 Speaker 1: of the things you love, are you now pushing aside 258 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 1: so many of the other things out there? And other 259 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 1: people out there use the word, that's interesting that I 260 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,079 Speaker 1: want to talk about. You said, chasing. Yeah, I get 261 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:46,240 Speaker 1: it makes sense. Um is the chasing aspect you think? 262 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 1: Why you went on the two seasons. I mean you 263 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 1: got I don't know if you call it heat or whatever. 264 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,080 Speaker 1: But people were like, you know, I would love to 265 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 1: talk about how you went on a season it didn't 266 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,320 Speaker 1: really work out fully um for you, and so then 267 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,199 Speaker 1: you went on the next season and people said, hey, 268 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:04,679 Speaker 1: he's just out here to be on the show. But ultimately, 269 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,960 Speaker 1: why did you choose to do both seasons and both 270 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 1: seasons so quickly? Well, originally I was probably in the 271 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:15,599 Speaker 1: talks while I wasn't a talk of going to Paradise. 272 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,320 Speaker 1: Then when Katie was announced as a back track, like, 273 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,120 Speaker 1: that's who I was thinking about, you know, seeing my eye, 274 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,200 Speaker 1: my eye was on her potential going to Paris. As 275 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:24,719 Speaker 1: soon as she was back Selred, I was like, hey, 276 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,920 Speaker 1: well I can take the easy route and like take 277 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: the less heat and go meet a bunch of different people. 278 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,640 Speaker 1: But she was the one that was different to me. 279 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,160 Speaker 1: We had the same humor, kind of crude, a little vulgar, 280 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:40,199 Speaker 1: unapologically ourselves. I felt like she was someone different that 281 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,360 Speaker 1: I haven't met before the other girls. I don't know. 282 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:45,240 Speaker 1: She's just it was gonna be different. Now it was 283 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 1: scary because I knew and I got heat. I got 284 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:48,800 Speaker 1: the heat that I knew I was gonna get. But 285 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,719 Speaker 1: it was either go do per season meet the girl 286 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,559 Speaker 1: that I wanted to meet in Paradise that now I can't, 287 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: or I let that go and go two months later 288 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 1: to Paradise. Regardless it's a two months of difference. Yes, 289 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 1: I went on right away, but I'm just chasing the 290 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 1: girl that I wanted to chase because I thought she 291 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:08,079 Speaker 1: was the best match for me. But I mean it 292 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 1: ended up being that way, and like I was right 293 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,160 Speaker 1: in that way, but just not long term where it 294 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,679 Speaker 1: makes the most, what it means the most in real life. 295 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 1: Would you, I mean, do you regret it? No? I 296 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 1: don't because and this is and I explained this to 297 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 1: somebody the other day when they asked me about it, 298 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,440 Speaker 1: because that's the most, that's the question I get the most, 299 00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:32,240 Speaker 1: I think, And when I when I weigh them all out, 300 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:36,680 Speaker 1: I remember how exciting and how happy I was in 301 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:42,200 Speaker 1: that moment, regardless of the outcome. Now, I was so happy. 302 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 1: I was a feeling like I've never had before an 303 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: experience and the feeling of like truly feeling like it 304 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,760 Speaker 1: was love and this was going to be it right, 305 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:52,240 Speaker 1: And I wouldn't take that back even though it didn't 306 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:56,000 Speaker 1: work out, because I remember how great it was, you know. 307 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,840 Speaker 1: I mean so like that feeling and that experience and 308 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,520 Speaker 1: like every like, I can't and I don't like to 309 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:04,200 Speaker 1: have regrets. I like to not live life that way. 310 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: So as much as I yeah, in some way, like 311 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 1: it's a proposal that went tradition and it wasn't my person, 312 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 1: and I did it on that stage and you you kind 313 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,720 Speaker 1: of look like an idiot and all those things, I 314 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: still remember what that was like with her, and I 315 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,640 Speaker 1: hope in some degree that she doesn't regret it either, 316 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:24,440 Speaker 1: because it was a really amazing experience with her. And 317 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,040 Speaker 1: that's the way I'm trying to look at it and 318 00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:28,040 Speaker 1: be optimistic about it instead of being like, why the 319 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,360 Speaker 1: hell did I do that? Dumbest decision ever? I try 320 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:33,640 Speaker 1: not to look at it thinks that way. Why is it? 321 00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 1: I mean, why does it matter to you she regrets 322 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,200 Speaker 1: it or not. I mean, you said that you hope 323 00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:40,480 Speaker 1: she doesn't regret it either? Why? Why? Why does that 324 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: play a role in your thought process because I want her, 325 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 1: I I think selfishly want to know that she was, 326 00:15:49,880 --> 00:15:52,120 Speaker 1: because I have I have those doubts where of like, 327 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 1: you know, because it was I default all those things 328 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,120 Speaker 1: with Greg, right, So I want to feel like this 329 00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:00,240 Speaker 1: wasn't some dumb fake thing. I want her to like, 330 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,520 Speaker 1: this was as real as you know, those feelings I 331 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 1: had the same ones you had, you know, so it 332 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,480 Speaker 1: was on the same wavelane. I wasn't say wave blank, 333 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 1: you know, I don't want it to if that makes sense, Like, 334 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:12,320 Speaker 1: it's like I wanted to feel as real on her 335 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 1: end as it did for me. So I'm like, I 336 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 1: hope that she was, and I and I do. I 337 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:21,640 Speaker 1: really do believe that I do. I do. I think, Yeah, 338 00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 1: it makes complete sense. It's yeah. So many people's reaction 339 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 1: to a breakup is I just want to know that 340 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 1: you cared to That's all I need. So have you 341 00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 1: had a chance to get closure from it? Um? Has 342 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:38,200 Speaker 1: there been any opportunity for you to get some of 343 00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 1: these questions answered? Uh? I mean yes, I mean we 344 00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:52,040 Speaker 1: we talked very cordially after we announced engagement the breakup, 345 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,840 Speaker 1: and we were really good with that and then obviously 346 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 1: all the other stuff happened, and since then we have 347 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:59,040 Speaker 1: not spoke, but um, she has reached out to me. 348 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 1: I just have not been the place yet to respond 349 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,360 Speaker 1: to it, especially at the time that it all kind 350 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:08,920 Speaker 1: of was unraveling. I didn't want to respond in a 351 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:11,400 Speaker 1: place of emotion and like writing the heat of things 352 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,720 Speaker 1: when I haven't had time to reflect. And there will 353 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,920 Speaker 1: be a time where I can respond to that, and 354 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 1: we will, but there's no point in doing it where 355 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,439 Speaker 1: I'm going to speak out of emotion and in a 356 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:24,160 Speaker 1: place like I need to let the time go where 357 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,199 Speaker 1: I can like step back. So I'm not I'm not 358 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 1: on that She's happy she's making this. She made the decision, 359 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,679 Speaker 1: although you know I didn't like it. She made the 360 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,480 Speaker 1: best decision for her, just like I would make the 361 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,639 Speaker 1: best decision for me. It didn't play out the way 362 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: I wanted it to, and like it could have probably 363 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:41,679 Speaker 1: been handled different. But I have no time for grudge. 364 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,359 Speaker 1: Grudge takes so much energy. Why why I want to 365 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 1: have a negative energy for It's just it's just a 366 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:50,640 Speaker 1: waste of time. And I do think, I do think 367 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,640 Speaker 1: she's a good person, and just like things played out, 368 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,760 Speaker 1: not the great way, But I just don't have I 369 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,680 Speaker 1: will get to that and I will respond to her 370 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:01,080 Speaker 1: and we will make up one day. It's just not 371 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:04,920 Speaker 1: yet when it still feels kind of fresh. Yeah, I want, 372 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't want to make me promise you 373 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,200 Speaker 1: will get there, right? Yeah? You know I remember this 374 00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:12,040 Speaker 1: season where it felt like I was never gonna get there, 375 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 1: and where like, you know, then you have jerks like me, 376 00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,159 Speaker 1: ask me about your ex, you know every couple of 377 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:24,880 Speaker 1: days you know, paid for this. Yeah, yeah, for sure, 378 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:28,000 Speaker 1: you do get there right. Uh. Somebody asked me about 379 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 1: the show today, and it doesn't It has no emotional 380 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,760 Speaker 1: toll on me. Takes no pain for me to talk 381 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,440 Speaker 1: about it. And but I would have, Oh, it would 382 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,800 Speaker 1: have crushed me. It crushed me for a you know, 383 00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 1: a year and a half ning it. It would it 384 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 1: was a pain. There was so much inside of me 385 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:46,560 Speaker 1: that I wanted to talk about that I couldn't talk about, 386 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 1: and that you know, you know the same as you. 387 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,960 Speaker 1: And I've said it like there's an anger too. It's 388 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,240 Speaker 1: like I don't want to say something here. I want 389 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:57,160 Speaker 1: to regretting five years. There's no reason for that. Um, 390 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,920 Speaker 1: And so it's a wise place to say it because 391 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,000 Speaker 1: regret pupe hopefully be live in a you know, five 392 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,000 Speaker 1: years from now when this isn't a pain in your life. 393 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,760 Speaker 1: But it hurts, man, it hurts, and then it hurts 394 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:07,560 Speaker 1: even worse, and I want this is you know, something 395 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,800 Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about is like, does 396 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,359 Speaker 1: it hurt to be talked about talking about it? Um? 397 00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 1: You you know it is fresh, it is new. She 398 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:17,080 Speaker 1: is dating somebody else that that band aid. I remember 399 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: I called one of the producers in the show when 400 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:23,600 Speaker 1: I found out, you know that Laura moved on on 401 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,359 Speaker 1: social media and they're like, here's the good part. The 402 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,800 Speaker 1: band aid's now been ripped off your work. It's completely exposed. 403 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,479 Speaker 1: There's only one way out of this, and that's now 404 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,360 Speaker 1: for you to heal because for a while that band 405 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 1: aid was sitting on there. So for you that we 406 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 1: just is has been open for a bit. The band 407 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:50,120 Speaker 1: aids off. Um does it hurt? M Yes? Yes? Um? 408 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:53,800 Speaker 1: I think just because I have just because there's confusion, right, 409 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 1: I think, as guy, like we want to know and 410 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,280 Speaker 1: have have the answers, but just there's still confusion to 411 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 1: it that although I've had the explanations and the reasons 412 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:05,440 Speaker 1: given to me. There's still I don't think there will be. 413 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:09,439 Speaker 1: I'm hurt, but it won't be fully healed until I 414 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,040 Speaker 1: maybe ask a couple of questions, right and just clarify 415 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,399 Speaker 1: a couple of things. Until then, it'll it'll fester a 416 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,200 Speaker 1: little bit, but the majority of that pain is gone 417 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 1: and I can live happy day to day and I'm good. 418 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 1: But there's always be a little piece that won't heal 419 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:25,960 Speaker 1: until I have that wrap up conversation with her eventually 420 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,760 Speaker 1: when that comes, and that just will take time to 421 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 1: get there, and it will come. I know it well 422 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 1: because we're both mature. We are, and so they'll get there. 423 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,760 Speaker 1: It's just it's just not yet. And I think I 424 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,680 Speaker 1: should be the one to determine that, just because I 425 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 1: was on the back end for the wrong end of it, 426 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:44,680 Speaker 1: and I'm just it was you know if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, 427 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 1: at least it makes sense. We can relate in a 428 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,960 Speaker 1: lot of ways, and I'll i'll stop here, continue to 429 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,919 Speaker 1: bring it back, but you know, just I got a 430 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,000 Speaker 1: guy here and two people and like there is a 431 00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,159 Speaker 1: time I remember and I was on a walk, right, 432 00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:04,600 Speaker 1: but you remember it specifically, I remember specifically and I 433 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:07,960 Speaker 1: took this same walk every day for a year, and 434 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,320 Speaker 1: there was some day that I was walking and it 435 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,880 Speaker 1: just like there was like a piece of weightlifted from 436 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,879 Speaker 1: my shoulders in my chest and I said, you know what, 437 00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:18,200 Speaker 1: it's this. I'm not going to carry this with me anymore. 438 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:19,600 Speaker 1: I don't want to carry this with me. Actually, I'm 439 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:21,920 Speaker 1: good to not carry it with me. And at that moment, 440 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 1: I've never said this publicly, but at that moment, you know, 441 00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 1: we both apologize to each other and that was it. 442 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: That's the last time we've really had like a discourse, 443 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:31,639 Speaker 1: Like there's random stuff that we have to like we 444 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 1: had to say afterwards, but like the last time we 445 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,480 Speaker 1: had a discourse, and it it felt good, like we're done, 446 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:41,160 Speaker 1: like I'm sorry, she said she's sorry, and we moved 447 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 1: on and and that's when I really felt like I 448 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,280 Speaker 1: could date again too. So I don't know when that's 449 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 1: gonna happen for you, but I do believe it will happen. 450 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:53,320 Speaker 1: I do, Yeah, I mean I in a in a way, 451 00:21:53,359 --> 00:21:56,119 Speaker 1: I feel like it's it's that conversation is sitting at 452 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,160 Speaker 1: the bottom of my to do list right now. I'm 453 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,840 Speaker 1: definitely not making a priority it's there. I know it's 454 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,119 Speaker 1: something that has to be done, you know, And so Lingers, 455 00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:04,359 Speaker 1: you know when you're like, I stuff to do this, 456 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,040 Speaker 1: I you know, this still has to happen at some point. 457 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 1: I guess you could like scratch off and kind of 458 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,640 Speaker 1: something not to do. But I know it'll be better 459 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,160 Speaker 1: for both of us if we do. It definitely would 460 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 1: be for me, So uh, yeah, it will come. Um, 461 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,600 Speaker 1: it's definitely not a priority, but it will be And 462 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,880 Speaker 1: maybe I'll just have a day walking down the street 463 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:24,119 Speaker 1: like you and it'll just happen. Yeah, I mean I 464 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 1: didn't expect it, so yeah, you know when um, when 465 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:44,320 Speaker 1: the news came out. Actually, my my my usual ghost 466 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,600 Speaker 1: who can't be with us right now because she's a 467 00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:51,639 Speaker 1: mother of us. Yes, congratulations. Actually it's a question that 468 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 1: gets asked from breakups, and I told her I would 469 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:58,159 Speaker 1: ask you this, um, And we've been super intrigued and 470 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 1: our listeners seem to really like to hear everybody's thoughts 471 00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,320 Speaker 1: on this. How but you're in the heart of it. 472 00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,000 Speaker 1: How long is too long or too short to move 473 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:11,199 Speaker 1: into a relationship post a break up? Is there an 474 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,320 Speaker 1: appropriate time is there not? Like? What are your thoughts 475 00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 1: around this. M that's a good question. I would say, 476 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,880 Speaker 1: you need to do whatever is best that makes you happy, 477 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:30,560 Speaker 1: so we all have to be selfish. I think overall, 478 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,639 Speaker 1: like unless like I will get over the fact that 479 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,320 Speaker 1: she made her decisions that moved on to it. I 480 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,480 Speaker 1: will eventually get over that she is happy she made 481 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 1: the decision to do that because it made her happy. 482 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,680 Speaker 1: M hmm. All we want in life is to be happy. 483 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,119 Speaker 1: We can't think about everybody else as much as we 484 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,200 Speaker 1: want to, but you've really got to think about yourself first. 485 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 1: And yes, sometimes that's gonna throw people to the wayside 486 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 1: that you ultimately loved cared about all those things. But 487 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 1: when it comes down to it, she it maybe could 488 00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,760 Speaker 1: have been announced a little later, all those things, you know, 489 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 1: in the ways that she did it. Uh, I don't 490 00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:06,119 Speaker 1: know what that. I don't. I think I don't. You 491 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,840 Speaker 1: can't put a number on it because every circumstances so different, 492 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:13,119 Speaker 1: every relationship is so different the person. Like if it 493 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:16,399 Speaker 1: ended a little bit differently, there could be more of 494 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,680 Speaker 1: a part of my French but like a screw you 495 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,680 Speaker 1: and it's like, I don't care about it depends where 496 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,720 Speaker 1: you're at with that person. What the discussion was there's 497 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 1: so many things I think to go into that you 498 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 1: can't put a solid number, being like, hey, after three months, 499 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 1: it's good for everybody to move. No, I think it's circumstantial, 500 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,040 Speaker 1: and I think you need to do You need just 501 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,160 Speaker 1: to be happy and whatever that decision is, everyone else 502 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:40,679 Speaker 1: will get on with it because happiness rules all. So 503 00:24:42,040 --> 00:24:43,879 Speaker 1: you have a nique situation where you know, obviously this 504 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:48,080 Speaker 1: is so public, yeah, and so much a part of 505 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 1: your story right now, more than most breakups. But the 506 00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:53,040 Speaker 1: other side of this is that you have it is 507 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,000 Speaker 1: so public, you have gone through a breakup, and now 508 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 1: you have people supporting you. Some people have to do 509 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:01,119 Speaker 1: this alone. U They get broken up with and they 510 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,360 Speaker 1: sit alone and they don't have nobody gets it. At 511 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:05,959 Speaker 1: least you have people that have a picked opinion, probably 512 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:09,960 Speaker 1: mostly positive with some negative. Yeah. Do you for anybody 513 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,920 Speaker 1: listening who is in the midst of or going through 514 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 1: healing from a really hard breakup, do you mind sharing 515 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:19,920 Speaker 1: your experience when you found out, uh, what you did, 516 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 1: who you reached out to, how you found support, how 517 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 1: you felt um, So hopefully somebody listening maybe that's alone 518 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,960 Speaker 1: in this can you can feel like yeah, I get 519 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,840 Speaker 1: it too. Yeah are you are you? Are you talking 520 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:35,359 Speaker 1: in an example of somebody else that would be in 521 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:39,960 Speaker 1: the public eye or something, or just generically just that 522 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:44,840 Speaker 1: you know, tabloids writing about their break and yeah, yeah yeah. Um. 523 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 1: You know, I would say, find that thing that makes 524 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:52,560 Speaker 1: you happiest outside of your person. Focus on that, whether 525 00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,520 Speaker 1: it's you know, the volunteer work or something that can 526 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,439 Speaker 1: take your distraction away the people I rely on. Obviously, 527 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:00,680 Speaker 1: you go right to family first, you know. I want 528 00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,359 Speaker 1: to be told straight everything that they feel about the 529 00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,520 Speaker 1: whole situation. I don't want to be sugarcoated. Um. And 530 00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: then I would say not to jump into, you know, 531 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,160 Speaker 1: talking to other people and like the whole rebound thing 532 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,640 Speaker 1: right away, because it's just again putting like a band 533 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,160 Speaker 1: aid on something you haven't healed through yet. I mean, 534 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:24,160 Speaker 1: m I really just took time, I really dope into 535 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,960 Speaker 1: my wildlife conservation stuff because it really made me the happiest. 536 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 1: And um, you know, in some degree, I think depending 537 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,480 Speaker 1: on how that how it ends, sometimes it can make 538 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:37,720 Speaker 1: it easier. The way that she did it, uh and 539 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:39,920 Speaker 1: moved on so quick, it was like, hey, well we're 540 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:42,080 Speaker 1: not getting back together, especially based on the song that 541 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:43,879 Speaker 1: she played for me and her probably a breakup, we 542 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,920 Speaker 1: never getting never never ever getting back together, right, So 543 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:52,399 Speaker 1: you know, I think so that's that that that was tough, 544 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,679 Speaker 1: you know for for those in the sidelines that they 545 00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:59,199 Speaker 1: probably thought, oh crap, maybe got a giggle. For those 546 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 1: in it like you probably her, I would assume, yeah, 547 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:08,320 Speaker 1: yeah it was. I definitely was unexpected. Um, but yeah, 548 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,719 Speaker 1: I think depending on how it all ends to, right, 549 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 1: Like it's so circumstantial, do you take the time, you 550 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,119 Speaker 1: focus on things that make you happiest, and you just 551 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,840 Speaker 1: always got to remember, like you think back up old relationships. 552 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,840 Speaker 1: I remember the first relationship I had where I was 553 00:27:21,880 --> 00:27:24,000 Speaker 1: like high school sweetheart, thought I was loved. I remember 554 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 1: I wasn't a hard depression, Like a month I moved 555 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: away like I was nuts, and I thought I was 556 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,480 Speaker 1: never gonna find someone better than her, and I thought 557 00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,400 Speaker 1: it was all over. But the relationships I've had after that, 558 00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 1: we're so much better. Things always, you know, get better, 559 00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,680 Speaker 1: you grow from it. You know, you're they always get better. 560 00:27:40,720 --> 00:27:42,439 Speaker 1: So although you feel like you lost the world, in 561 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,639 Speaker 1: a sense, she probably wasn't the world. If she's not 562 00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 1: with you and you're going to find something probably better. 563 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:50,640 Speaker 1: And that's what I find with all like depressive situations, 564 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,080 Speaker 1: all those things, like all those times you've freaked out 565 00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:56,239 Speaker 1: overthought about all these things, How did it actually end up? 566 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 1: Was it really as bad as you thought? Did you 567 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,600 Speaker 1: find like everything well work itself out in the time. 568 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:03,720 Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like it, But you gotta look back 569 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 1: on your own life experience to think about how you've 570 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,000 Speaker 1: moved through things and where you are where, why and 571 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 1: why it's good. It's a really wise word, man, I 572 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 1: mean it is. I'm sitting here thinking, I'm like Je's 573 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:15,359 Speaker 1: look at you know, look at the story of the people. 574 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,280 Speaker 1: I know. My buddy goes through a divorce, he marries 575 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:21,600 Speaker 1: in a wonderful woman three years later that he loves 576 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 1: and his loves him. And you know, for me, I 577 00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:25,400 Speaker 1: go through a public breakup and I feel like I've 578 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,439 Speaker 1: lost everything, and then I meet my wife and I'm like, 579 00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,880 Speaker 1: I can't imagine my life without her, like I can't 580 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 1: imagine it does. And it's such a good lesson for 581 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:34,639 Speaker 1: those who are in the midst of something so hard 582 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,679 Speaker 1: it is to know that, yes, right now it feels 583 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,560 Speaker 1: like the world is falling down around you, and that 584 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,520 Speaker 1: there's the biggest weight in cloud over everything that you do. 585 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:46,680 Speaker 1: But it continue, like keep taking those steps forward because 586 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:49,560 Speaker 1: it will get better. And we have to remember that 587 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:53,040 Speaker 1: because it sometimes doesn't feel that but exactly, But I 588 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,760 Speaker 1: know what the thing is. People always look to other 589 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:57,480 Speaker 1: people to be like they got over this, how do 590 00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 1: they do that? But look at your own life. There's 591 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 1: a lot of things that you're probably overlooking that you've 592 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:05,000 Speaker 1: done your life, that you you'll stepped up for, overcome 593 00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:08,400 Speaker 1: all these things that you're not thinking about that of like, 594 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,640 Speaker 1: this is just another one of those things. So move 595 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,480 Speaker 1: past it because you'll look back on this and be like, 596 00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:14,880 Speaker 1: oh my god, wow was like so, yes, some of 597 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,040 Speaker 1: them are gonna bit more challenging than the others. But 598 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,400 Speaker 1: there's a reason where you are. And so look back 599 00:29:19,440 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 1: on your own experiences because there's probably a lot in 600 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:23,960 Speaker 1: your life and you went through that you're not really 601 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:28,280 Speaker 1: taking the time to appreciate respect for yourself. So well, 602 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 1: to close up here with you, I really appreciate your 603 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,800 Speaker 1: time and your honesty. I think it's gonna relate to 604 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 1: many out there, and and your story is yes, it 605 00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:38,200 Speaker 1: wasn't the public eye, but if we can take that 606 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 1: element away. It's um incredibly relatable to so many. Um 607 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 1: where you sit now, uh, what are you looking forward to? Where? 608 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,000 Speaker 1: Where does life go for you? Like? What? What? What 609 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:55,440 Speaker 1: dreams do you have for years beyond? If you can 610 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 1: close this out with just you know, where is Blake 611 00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 1: gonna go? Where do you? What do you dream of? Buddy? 612 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:05,520 Speaker 1: You know I started to become a lot more just 613 00:30:06,120 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 1: ambitious and really realizing that you know this, There's a 614 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:10,600 Speaker 1: lot of crazy things that happened in this life, but 615 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 1: it's short, and so I love to um continuous ambitious 616 00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:18,800 Speaker 1: path find someone that wants to live that adventurous, ambitious 617 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,720 Speaker 1: life with me. I'm super happy as I am single alone, 618 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 1: but I know that it could be elevated with that 619 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,280 Speaker 1: right person. Until then, I'm not gonna chase it. I'm 620 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 1: not gonna I think I know what I want. I 621 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:30,960 Speaker 1: hope they just falls in my lap. Until then, I'm 622 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:32,680 Speaker 1: gonna continue to focus on the things I love, and 623 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 1: that's focusing on wildlife conservation and animals and try to 624 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:38,760 Speaker 1: do some good in the world and hopefully that that 625 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 1: karma falls back in my lap with the right person 626 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 1: one day and I can continue to just follow that 627 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:48,040 Speaker 1: dream of that passion with them. Well, um, you know 628 00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 1: would be inappropriate. I didn't ask, you know, give us, 629 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,760 Speaker 1: uh some ways that people are listening and some organizations 630 00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:55,719 Speaker 1: you're part of, and some things that if they want to, 631 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,280 Speaker 1: you know, help out with as well. What are those 632 00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:03,440 Speaker 1: organizations and how can people best support you? Oh, she's okay, Uh, 633 00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 1: great organizations. I would start off with World Animal News 634 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:11,440 Speaker 1: Katie Cleary, who does a really amazing job wrapping up 635 00:31:11,440 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 1: all the most important uh animal related news in the world, 636 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 1: and things that we could do to step up and 637 00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:20,480 Speaker 1: help out aside from that Big Life Foundation, whereas that 638 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 1: Kenya working with with them and really bringing to light 639 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:27,000 Speaker 1: all the poaching issues human wildlife conflict because it pertains 640 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,360 Speaker 1: to elephants. And yeah I have re Trade and Ryan o'horn. 641 00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:33,560 Speaker 1: Um care for what there's There's so many. If you 642 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:36,480 Speaker 1: go to my Instagram and or Mowgli moins Fund where 643 00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,520 Speaker 1: I do support a lot of these organizations. D m 644 00:31:38,560 --> 00:31:41,200 Speaker 1: me if you really need some some help and direction 645 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,120 Speaker 1: or just see who I'm following and those are the 646 00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:47,440 Speaker 1: right organizations to follow. Great man, Well, thanks for sitting 647 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:51,080 Speaker 1: down with Thanks for sharing you watching Clayton's season. I've 648 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:54,320 Speaker 1: watched the first two episodes. I haven't since I'm trying to. 649 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,680 Speaker 1: It gives me weird feelings right now, Like this last date. 650 00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,960 Speaker 1: Someone told me that Clayton went on a horse state 651 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 1: to a country singer date and that was my one 652 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:04,120 Speaker 1: on KI. So I'm just like, I don't need to. 653 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:05,960 Speaker 1: I don't need to go back there, you know, I 654 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 1: don't need to. Yeah, take some time. The show will 655 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 1: be there when you're ready. Promise. It's it definitely goes away. 656 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:19,760 Speaker 1: It's it's it's the cockroach that keeps on living. Hey, Blake, 657 00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 1: thank you again um for joining the almost famous podcast. 658 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,640 Speaker 1: This in depth episode has been fantastic, wors some the 659 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:29,840 Speaker 1: best our listeners are gonna wish the best. If you're listening, 660 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:31,920 Speaker 1: go out there and suppoor Blake, tell me, tell him 661 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 1: you got his back. And you know the best thing 662 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,880 Speaker 1: about this, Blake, I'll tell you. I'll close it here. Um, 663 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:43,400 Speaker 1: everybody was, you know, team be entertaining Team Lauren, and 664 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:46,680 Speaker 1: ultimately that wasn't helpful either way. I didn't want to 665 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,080 Speaker 1: people be on my side or not her side, and 666 00:32:49,120 --> 00:32:53,160 Speaker 1: her side not my side. Um, Ultimately we can lift 667 00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,200 Speaker 1: each each other both up and say, hey, we're gonna 668 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:56,560 Speaker 1: do our best things and there's a good life in 669 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,240 Speaker 1: front of you, and I wish that for you, man, 670 00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:00,760 Speaker 1: and we all do. I appreciate that, man, I really do, 671 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,320 Speaker 1: because it's been crazy. So take all the support we 672 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,880 Speaker 1: can get. Let's right back at you. That's right, man. Hey, 673 00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:10,840 Speaker 1: thanks Blake, of course, take care, Blake. Appreciate you, man, 674 00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:14,120 Speaker 1: Thanks for doing this, no sweat. Enjoy of the rest 675 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,680 Speaker 1: of your trip there. Yeah, give Koba a hug for 676 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:21,040 Speaker 1: me if you don't mind. Yeah, well Mr Cleek too. Alright, buddy, alright, 677 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,280 Speaker 1: gonna take care later. Follow the Benn and Ashley I 678 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,959 Speaker 1: Almost Famous podcast on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever 679 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,240 Speaker 1: you listen to podcasts.