Speaker 1: The Nicky Glizer Podcast. Glaser, Hello here I am, It's
Speaker 1: Nicky Glazer Podcast. Welcome to the show. I'm Nicky Glazer.
Speaker 1: Brian Frangie is with us. What's up, Brian?
Speaker 2: I'm doing all right.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was watching you on the Nicky Glazer Podcast live
Speaker 3: on Instagram and then oh, yeah I didn't watch you
Speaker 3: spotted me.
Speaker 1: I said, get out of here.
Speaker 2: Fuck out of here, Brian.
Speaker 1: Get out of here. And I get no business in here. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I kicked people out of those Instagram lives all the time.
Speaker 1: So Anya, I was doing one like playing guitar with
Speaker 1: Anya backstage one night and Kyle dun again came into
Speaker 1: the chat and I just he's like he's musically talented
Speaker 1: and he's just comedically like he's just I just don't
Speaker 1: want him to see the side of me, like yeah,
Speaker 1: playing Taylor Stiftstar, like it's just confusing to people who
Speaker 1: don't get it, and they go, oh, I want to
Speaker 1: see what Nicky's up to, and it's like what is
Speaker 1: she doing? So yeah, you don't get to watch. And
Speaker 1: so I blocked him. I kicked him out, and I
Speaker 1: could not believe it, and I just said, sorry, Kyle,
Speaker 1: you gotta go. It's not even an insult. It means
Speaker 1: I respect you too much, Not that I don't respect
Speaker 1: the other people in the room, but like everyone kind
Speaker 1: of knows what they're in fort.
Speaker 3: He goes in for the live, they know what they're
Speaker 3: going to see. They want to see that, they know
Speaker 3: that side of you. And when Kyle Dunnigan goes in
Speaker 3: and it's like what the fuck?
Speaker 1: Who? Yeah he would he is, Like I love him
Speaker 1: and sometimes I let him stay because I know he
Speaker 1: doesn't judge me and he's just like a lovely man
Speaker 1: and a good friend. But I just it's just sometimes
Speaker 1: you don't need to see certain sides of your friends. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like I just I don't need to see like you know,
Speaker 1: you don't like to see the side of your friend
Speaker 1: that gets in an argument with their spouse. It's not
Speaker 1: a good side or with their parents, ye like when
Speaker 1: they start acting like a child like or the way
Speaker 1: like I have like one friend who's like rude to
Speaker 1: waiters and waitresses. Otherwise it is a really lovely person
Speaker 1: and I'm real weird, and I because I this person's
Speaker 1: in my life and I want them in my life,
Speaker 1: I just have to like not go to dinner with them,
Speaker 1: or if I do go to dinner, I kind of
Speaker 1: have to like run things so that they're.
Speaker 3: Gonna have example without giving our identity away, like what
Speaker 3: happened something they's just like just.
Speaker 1: Look in for trouble, look in for something to complain
Speaker 1: about looking for and here, Okay, this is not related
Speaker 1: to that person. But I am one hundred percent over
Speaker 1: something that people do all the time, and people are
Speaker 1: gonna come at me for having an opinion about this.
Speaker 1: People are and I've done it before too, so I'm
Speaker 1: telling you I've done it before too. I'm gonna slam
Speaker 1: everyone right now so hard. Okay, Okay, if you go
Speaker 1: to a restaurant, and maybe I've covered this before because
Speaker 1: I think Carlisle initially told me about this, because Carlisle
Speaker 1: did a reel about working in a really fine dining
Speaker 1: restaurant and when people ask the server like what they recommend,
Speaker 1: She's like, I can't afford anything here. I've taken nibbles
Speaker 1: of stuff off plates when I'm starving because I'm working
Speaker 1: a double, but like I don't get to eat. We
Speaker 1: maybe ate it once in the beginning of working here,
Speaker 1: but like it's not like stop here's the thing. Not
Speaker 1: only do I do, I think that they don't know
Speaker 1: everything on the menu, so they're a dumb person to ask.
Speaker 1: They literally have different desires and needs than you, your
Speaker 1: waiter when you ask. What you can ask your waiter
Speaker 1: is what what is popular here?
Speaker 2: That way that quay popular?
Speaker 1: But I don't like when I mean, I guess I've
Speaker 1: done it before. I just think every time consulting the waiter,
Speaker 1: like it's like a thing you do. It's kind of
Speaker 1: like part of your routine with the waiter is like
Speaker 1: to seem cool or to seem nice. That's it, Okay,
Speaker 1: I I've whatever.
Speaker 2: What is it if you're.
Speaker 1: Really struggling with what to get ask the waiter, But
Speaker 1: if it is part of like this kind of ploy
Speaker 1: that you don't even know you're doing to get the
Speaker 1: waiter to like you or to have some kind of
Speaker 1: rapport like I'm one of you and like, so what
Speaker 1: do you get here? Like it's it's really strikes me
Speaker 1: as wasting everyone's time, include your waiter who doesn't give
Speaker 1: a fuck about what your dietary needs are, or like
Speaker 1: no one's interested in hearing like, well, I do have
Speaker 1: this thing, like my friend Cursen is going to feel
Speaker 1: attacked right now because she does alert everyone of her
Speaker 1: mango thing, and it's it's a she has a mango
Speaker 1: allergy that her lips will swell up and look like
Speaker 1: Homer Simpson if she if she eats mango, Simpson lips
Speaker 1: vigilant about it.
Speaker 2: I don't see Homer Simpson is having.
Speaker 1: Big lips, well like that big like the like the
Speaker 1: the big mouth he has.
Speaker 2: Okay, she gets the big mouth, the big brown mouth.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't eat. Well, it's not brown. It's like
Speaker 1: you know whatever Homer is yellow.
Speaker 3: Well to Homer's mouth is tan. It is five o'clock shadow.
Speaker 3: I don't think Homer Simpson lips the whole.
Speaker 1: Mounts what we're talking about, like the puffy mouth, yes, okay,
Speaker 1: his mouth extends.
Speaker 2: Out the whole thing and not just the lips.
Speaker 1: Yes, well, I don't. I think she's just saying, like
Speaker 1: her lips do that what his face looks like is
Speaker 1: what I would guess she would be saying. But but no,
Speaker 1: she can be pretty vigilant about like is there's mango back?
Speaker 1: There is there like, so I do have an allergy
Speaker 1: and I'm just like Kirstin all you have to say,
Speaker 1: is you have an allergy. You don't have to be like, well,
Speaker 1: my lips like swell up, like they don't need to
Speaker 1: know like what happens, like just allergy across the board
Speaker 1: is going to like make them know enough. And then
Speaker 1: she always finds out that there's mango in a drink
Speaker 1: that's being served only at the bar counter, and then
Speaker 1: she goes, oh, that's okay, that's fine, and then she's
Speaker 1: like oh and she totally is fine with it, but
Speaker 1: it's like that's always what happens, is like the mango,
Speaker 1: but not always she has to be vigilant. I get
Speaker 1: it she doesn't want her lips to blow up. But
Speaker 1: I do feel that sometimes, and this is not related
Speaker 1: to Curson. It's not related to the person being rude.
Speaker 1: Sometimes people try to be buddy buddy with their waitress
Speaker 1: or waiter, and I would like to hear f some
Speaker 1: waiters or waiters waitresses how that feels. But when I
Speaker 1: was doing it, I was kind of like, I don't
Speaker 1: give a fuck what you're getting and how long it's
Speaker 1: taking you to side and you're going hmmm, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I gave you first of all, I already came out
Speaker 1: to you're a table to give your waters and I said,
Speaker 1: you want to order now, and I gave you more time.
Speaker 1: Then I went back and you said you needed more time.
Speaker 1: So if you couldn't come up with in eight minutes,
Speaker 1: let's say eight minutes at the least looking at the
Speaker 1: menu what you want, and everyone else at your table
Speaker 1: has there's something wrong with you. Yeah, where people just
Speaker 1: go they get to you, The waiter just gets to them,
Speaker 1: and they let everyone else go in front of them
Speaker 1: and they still are going m And I know people
Speaker 1: relate to this. I know because almost everyone in my
Speaker 1: life is like this, and this is why I'm so
Speaker 1: annoyed by it. And I think I used to be
Speaker 1: a little bit like it until I realized, Nikki, no
Speaker 1: one needs to hear your inner monologue about like, oh
Speaker 1: but I just had this yesterday and sometimes cheese makes
Speaker 1: my stomach hurt and I do want to go to bed,
Speaker 1: and this kid of that to come out of sugar
Speaker 1: will keep me up. It's like no one cares, No,
Speaker 1: not even people at your table who might love you care,
Speaker 1: let alone the waitress.
Speaker 3: You know what you got to do in those situations,
Speaker 3: You just order and then they go last, because if
Speaker 3: it's going in an order circle and they're like, okay,
Speaker 3: I'm last, then that signals to them Okay, they have
Speaker 3: to make a decision, but they have quote unquote sometimes
Speaker 3: this is an acceptable sinnation.
Speaker 1: They always go last. I'm talking about they go last
Speaker 1: and they're still hemming and hawing.
Speaker 2: It goes all around the circle and they don't keep
Speaker 2: get and.
Speaker 1: Then it'll get to them and they'll still hem in hawe.
Speaker 3: And really usually when I when I put someone in
Speaker 3: that situation, they go, oh the fish and then they're like, ah, fuck,
Speaker 3: I hate the fish.
Speaker 2: Why did I order the fish?
Speaker 1: And yeah, is that too?
Speaker 2: Whatever?
Speaker 1: I what I say when you're dining with me, because
Speaker 1: I if I'm for dining, I'm usually getting the bill.
Speaker 1: It's just gonna happen with me and my friends. I say,
Speaker 1: get them both, save me this conversation that I witness
Speaker 1: take the other one home for leftovers. I would rather
Speaker 1: you get what you want and not have a dinner
Speaker 1: regretting and not liking your meal and picking at it.
Speaker 1: Just get lots of things if you don't know, because
Speaker 1: I enjoy people around me being comfortable and not like
Speaker 1: hungry or not pretending they're not oh like, oh, I
Speaker 1: just I don't know. I'm not hungry anymore, even though
Speaker 1: they don't like their meal, but they're too scared to
Speaker 1: say it because they don't want to send it back.
Speaker 1: Let's just all get a bunch of shit. Let's just
Speaker 1: be comfortable.
Speaker 3: You know what I do, because I have You know,
Speaker 3: I'm very picky eater. I guess I'll look at the
Speaker 3: menu before I go to the restaurant. In factful, if
Speaker 3: I don't like the menu at the restaurant, I might
Speaker 3: not go to the restaurant at all.
Speaker 1: I look at a menu too, but I kind of
Speaker 1: sometimes if I know it's the type of food I'm
Speaker 1: gonna like, I like to be surprised when I get there.
Speaker 1: And by the way, I do not know what I'm
Speaker 1: going to order until the waiter comes to me, and
Speaker 1: then I I'm not kidding you, I'll be deciding between
Speaker 1: like five things, maybe even more because I'm getting like
Speaker 1: I usually get five things. I get like appetiers, And
Speaker 1: when the waiter comes, I literally sit down the table
Speaker 1: and kind of look over. If it's a sushi restaurant
Speaker 1: or a Thai restaurant, stop looking you know what you get.
Speaker 1: You should. It's all the same. The menus are all
Speaker 1: the same, you guys, They're all the same. So I
Speaker 1: just pick up the menu when it's my time, and
Speaker 1: I go those this, And I guess if I was
Speaker 1: only ordering one thing, it would be more of a struggle.
Speaker 1: But and I'm talking from a place of privilege where
Speaker 1: I can get multiple things if I go out to dinner.
Speaker 2: But you're also a vegan, so half the menu is eliminated.
Speaker 1: That's a good point. Yeah, that is a good point.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine looking at me and being like, hmm,
Speaker 1: that looks good. I can't And it's just so insane
Speaker 1: to me that anyone is like, oh steak, Like yeah,
Speaker 1: I just don't get it. But people love it. And
Speaker 1: but yeah, that is nice a whole Like if I
Speaker 1: just see anything, it's just like it doesn't even exist
Speaker 1: on the menu. The menu becomes very small. Okay, that's
Speaker 1: a good point, maybe the whole menu that you don't.
Speaker 1: Speaking from a place of but I but generally, I
Speaker 1: think these people are choosing between two things, and I
Speaker 1: don't want them to have to ask the waiter.
Speaker 3: So to me, waiting around like hamming and hung about
Speaker 3: the menu is an indecisive person.
Speaker 2: But that's not rude to waiters. So what's the rude example?
Speaker 3: Rude r friend?
Speaker 2: You're rude friend who sucks.
Speaker 1: Just it's not even rude, it's like actually nice. They're
Speaker 1: always have like a nice smile, but they're just complaining
Speaker 1: about everything. And I am someone al so who will
Speaker 1: complain about ambiance, who will complain about sound. By the way,
Speaker 1: Chris and I were at Tokaya the other day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And by the way, everywhere in la is dark or loud.
Speaker 1: Sometimes both it is. You can either. Literally, I'm not
Speaker 1: kidding you. The restaurant we went to, where was that?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 2: That was in Times Square of Hollywood, but.
Speaker 1: That should have had some lights. It should have been
Speaker 1: more Midwestern.
Speaker 3: It was dark and there was a DJ, and it
Speaker 3: was almost like we were in a club.
Speaker 1: I told them to turn it down and they did slightly.
Speaker 1: Go We turned it down in a way that no
Speaker 1: one will notice. But like my ear drums won't be
Speaker 1: bleeding during this meal because everywhere has to be loud.
Speaker 1: That's why everyone has bad vocal cords, because they're screaming
Speaker 1: over stuffs.
Speaker 2: That's constant screaming.
Speaker 1: And then everything's dark and we went to I went
Speaker 1: to so many restaurants with my parents when they were
Speaker 1: in LA. They couldn't see the menu. They all had
Speaker 1: to get out their flashlights. We asked for more candles,
Speaker 1: and they go, we have one candle per table.
Speaker 3: It was just like, what is this every restaurant in
Speaker 3: l it's like a haunted house. It's just it's holly
Speaker 3: start and the dark, trying to find food they have not.
Speaker 1: Your food has like foam on it and like wild
Speaker 1: berries and flowers, and you need to eat around that shit,
Speaker 1: Like if the food is that intricate and not just
Speaker 1: a plate of mac, and I could see eating mac
Speaker 1: and cheese in the dark, Like I feel like Golden Corral.
Speaker 1: It's the dark.
Speaker 3: You should be ashamed of yourself. It's Golden Corral anyway.
Speaker 3: It should be dark. It's like the fancier of the place.
Speaker 3: The darker it is, you should be proud. And because you're.
Speaker 1: You're you're eating something that has like eighteen layers with
Speaker 1: all this, like you're supposed to look at the food
Speaker 1: like that's part of what's beautiful about food, and like
Speaker 1: the culinary skill is making it look beautiful. You can't
Speaker 1: see fucking anything in these places. And I'm calling you out.
Speaker 1: I'm calling you out, Nobu, I'm calling you out. Cooy,
Speaker 1: I'm calling you out. Where did we go to Kaya?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: No, great great food, like amazing food, amazing service. The
Speaker 1: ambiance is incredible. Will turn up the lights? What are
Speaker 1: you trying to prove? What is going on?
Speaker 2: Why do it makes you look hot or on a date?
Speaker 1: Okay, everyone's hot in LA. That's going to those restaurants.
Speaker 1: Everyone's hot. They want to be seen. I'm someone who
Speaker 1: like I don't turn off the lights in bed because
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm hot. I want to see myself like.
Speaker 1: I'm never someone who's like I'm embarrassed. In fact, I'm
Speaker 1: I have a naked picture in Peter today and I
Speaker 1: don't care all. It's a yeah, it just came out
Speaker 1: this morning on Instagram. Today's Wednesday for us, and and
Speaker 1: I don't care at all. I want to be seen.
Speaker 1: Why is everything dark? I don't like it? I don't
Speaker 1: I don't like the dark restaurants and and yeah, the
Speaker 1: thing I'm talking about is just being so. I will
Speaker 1: tell a restaurant too, if we can have more candles.
Speaker 1: But that I'm really nice about it. I know it's
Speaker 1: not the server's fault, but there's like a just wanting
Speaker 1: to be like just just a just a rudeness of
Speaker 1: like thinking. It's the same kind of rudeness where when
Speaker 1: people Matt is taking pictures for me for after the
Speaker 1: shows at meet and greets, when people go shoot it higher,
Speaker 1: doesn't this guy know the angles? And I'm like, he's
Speaker 1: a person that you just handed your phone to and
Speaker 1: who's not You didn't pay him to do this, and like,
Speaker 1: I guess you paid for the experience to meet me,
Speaker 1: but he eat part of it. Treat him nicely, and
Speaker 1: even if you are paying him, what are you yelling
Speaker 1: at him for? It's so weird. It's so weird. And
Speaker 1: then there's this thing. Oh my god, people check yourselves, dude.
Speaker 1: There is this thing that has been happening to me recently.
Speaker 1: It's happened to me twice where and I think we
Speaker 1: had to go to break at some point, but where
Speaker 1: I will be with a guy friend and then I
Speaker 1: will come across a guy who might like think I'm
Speaker 1: hot shit, either because he's romantically interested in me or
Speaker 1: career just you know, status interested, right, And my friend
Speaker 1: will not have this same status as me. Let's just
Speaker 1: say they're just they're a friend that might not have
Speaker 1: any connections to the business whatsoever. And it's a male,
Speaker 1: it's always a male friend. And then if this male
Speaker 1: senses any kind of threat, but it's not like my
Speaker 1: they would never do this to Chris, Like if it's
Speaker 1: my boyfriend, they wouldn't do it. But if they're a
Speaker 1: guy and my it's not my boyfriend, it's just a
Speaker 1: male friend, they'll be fucking rude to him. And I
Speaker 1: really got to say, who the Like they start kind
Speaker 1: of throwing him under the bus. And it's like the
Speaker 1: goal of this kind of person to think that I
Speaker 1: Am going to suddenly be enchanted by someone who comes
Speaker 1: over and starts blocking out my friend first of all,
Speaker 1: like stepping in front of them, like they're not in
Speaker 1: the conversation. Yeah, like almost like treating them like, yeah,
Speaker 1: they're not part of the conversation.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Is it like at a party or who is the one.
Speaker 1: Time it was at an event. One time it was
Speaker 1: at like an industry event and I was with a
Speaker 1: friend and my friend was like my date, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: and they meet both me and my friend and they
Speaker 1: kind of know my friend through a person and they
Speaker 1: all have a moment, and then this person starts talking
Speaker 1: to me and they just start to start stepping almost
Speaker 1: in front of my friend, as if he's not in
Speaker 1: the conversation too. Yeah, And I later said to my friend,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, what the fuck? I like thought I
Speaker 1: liked that guy, but he is a bona fide asshole.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: My friend's like, no, that happens all the time. That's like,
Speaker 1: that's what men do to each other.
Speaker 2: That's a Hollywood movie.
Speaker 1: He's not even Hollywood. My friend. He was like, that's
Speaker 1: just what men do to each other when they're threatened.
Speaker 3: Wow. But the other guy was Hollywood, the one that
Speaker 3: came into the conversation. Yeah, I mean that to me,
Speaker 3: I've seen that happen. I mean it probably happens in
Speaker 3: every industry where there's like jostling for power or whatever.
Speaker 3: But I've seen it. So like, the people look through you.
Speaker 3: They look through you. They're looking for the next person,
Speaker 3: and if they get into a situation where they can
Speaker 3: talk to someone like you, they will completely it's all.
Speaker 2: It's unbelievable.
Speaker 3: They'll completely cut out anyone else or try to at least,
Speaker 3: and then you kind of have to like jostle back
Speaker 3: into place. It's so weird, so immature and insecure too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the problem with it is that I see
Speaker 1: when it happens with someone that I'm like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: excited to see this person and introduce them to my friend,
Speaker 1: and then they do that, I go, well, we're not
Speaker 1: friends anymore because I'm not friends with people that would
Speaker 1: ever like strong arm someone or think they're cooler. Then
Speaker 1: not only anyone my friend, this is my friend that
Speaker 1: you just met, I'm here with him, and you're going
Speaker 1: to like, oh, it really irritates me, and then it
Speaker 1: makes me so sad because my friend isn't who I
Speaker 1: thought they were, and they're a person that does that,
Speaker 1: and it's just like kid, they're so good. They think
Speaker 1: I'm suddenly gonna be like, oh my god, this guy
Speaker 1: is like softle that he just alphaed my friend he
Speaker 1: just met who I actually chose to be here with,
Speaker 1: and this person who I didn't choose to be here with,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're looking way cooler now. Like it
Speaker 1: is the dumbest move. It will never ever work. I
Speaker 1: can't even believe it exists in the world I live in,
Speaker 1: but it's happened twice to me. And there was another
Speaker 1: guy who he the first guy was just not trying
Speaker 1: to fuck me, but the second guy was. And he
Speaker 1: asked my friend are like, are you guys together? And
Speaker 1: I was like, no, this is my friend. And then
Speaker 1: he just starts like saying these digs at my friend,
Speaker 1: like and the guy's drunk, so I'll give him that,
Speaker 1: but he's just digging like and like and so, and
Speaker 1: I just go hey, and then I don't want my
Speaker 1: friend to feel like a bitch by me defending.
Speaker 2: Hucking bitch that you're defending.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm also like, what the fuck? And so
Speaker 1: I just let it slide because later on I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be like he sucks and we all know it, and
Speaker 1: that's what you know, that's what was Yeah, well no,
Speaker 1: because I also would have been like if he would
Speaker 1: have stood up to this guy and been like, hey man,
Speaker 1: I would have been like, don't make this a thing,
Speaker 1: Like let's just all get through this and roll our
Speaker 1: eyes because we know you stop.
Speaker 2: Can you please stop undermining me?
Speaker 1: Like sometimes we all just got is to call out the.
Speaker 3: Like can you stop undermining me? I can't imagine the
Speaker 3: only thing he could do.
Speaker 2: Two options there.
Speaker 3: He can ignore the guy and then just be like
Speaker 3: and let it be wash over him, or he could
Speaker 3: beat him up.
Speaker 2: Both options are terrible.
Speaker 1: No, it wasn't that it wasn't bad enough for a
Speaker 1: beat up. It might have been bad enough for a
Speaker 1: call out, but this guy was so ridiculous, Like we
Speaker 1: both kind of agreed we're just gonna laugh at him,
Speaker 1: So that was the right call. But the cook, Yeah,
Speaker 1: this this stuff needs to be called out. And women,
Speaker 1: you should never be attracted to someone who would ever
Speaker 1: treat anyone you're with like less than because they want
Speaker 1: to fuck you. It is not a sign that they
Speaker 1: like like you more than that, like they were willing
Speaker 1: to fight for you. It's like really antisocial and a
Speaker 1: bread flag. All right, more with the uh more with
Speaker 1: me and Brian on this show when we get by
Speaker 1: what's up?
Speaker 3: Brian, it's such a good point about the I just
Speaker 3: want to put a fine point on this point about
Speaker 3: the restaurant brightness, because it is like reverse brightness. The
Speaker 3: fancier of the restaurant is the less shame you should
Speaker 3: feel for eating the food, and it's darker if like
Speaker 3: when I'm eating like two Chick fil a sandwiches, I
Speaker 3: want that to be stark right.
Speaker 2: I want to be in the corner with.
Speaker 3: The corner of a basement eating my I get two
Speaker 3: Chick fil A sandwiches in a file at and I
Speaker 3: dip it in the ranch LUs. I should be in
Speaker 3: the dark in the basement eating that. Instead you go
Speaker 3: to Nobuo, You're being like fine fresh fish prepared by
Speaker 3: a Michelin star chef, and they make it dark.
Speaker 2: It should be the.
Speaker 1: Reverse, It really should. That's such a good point. There
Speaker 1: should be really aggressive, harsh. You know what's it called
Speaker 1: the worst lighting? The tubes?
Speaker 3: Yeah, the tubes? Oh god, I forgot. Also, we both
Speaker 3: forgot office. My got fluorescent.
Speaker 1: Yah, good job, Oh my god, what association. I feel
Speaker 1: like if you pulled a thousand people, only two out
Speaker 1: of those thousand would not be able to come up
Speaker 1: with that word. And we were working the same podcast together.
Speaker 3: We don't work in offices. That's if you work in
Speaker 3: an office, fluorescent is like top of mind because it's
Speaker 3: like the worst thing. I mean, I've been I've worked
Speaker 3: in office before, and the fluorescent lighting fucks with you.
Speaker 1: Really. Yeah, it's sensitive of what fus with you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Well, so, speaking of so, I went to the doctor
Speaker 3: yesterday while and I. While I was waiting on the doctor,
Speaker 3: I was listening to some beautiful guitar music.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Then I kicked you out.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I have to the doctor says, I have
Speaker 3: to get my gallbladder removed. Yeah, just another thing added
Speaker 3: on top of all.
Speaker 2: What problem?
Speaker 1: Why, I'm sorry, I'm smiling. That's such a weird thing
Speaker 1: to get.
Speaker 2: I'm not just hit Nikki.
Speaker 1: Wait, why do you have to get your gall bladder removed?
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: Well, this year I've had three attacks, and this is
Speaker 3: you know, I'm just giving this information because maybe someone
Speaker 3: else out there listening has had their gallbladder removed, or
Speaker 3: they made me need to have their gall bladder removed.
Speaker 3: My mom had her gall bladder removed, so it's like
Speaker 3: in the family. But I had three attacks this year
Speaker 3: where I ate like a decent sized meal the night before,
Speaker 3: went to bed, and then woke up in excruciating pain.
Speaker 3: And did I I told you the Indie story. When
Speaker 3: I was in Indianapolis, I got food poisoning. The toilet
Speaker 3: was clogged in a shitty hotel, and so I had.
Speaker 1: To puke into the tub next to.
Speaker 3: My toilet, and that I thought that was food poisoning.
Speaker 3: But it maybe wasn't food poisoning. It might have been
Speaker 3: your gall bladder, my gallbladder, because it also happened on
Speaker 3: New Year's Eve, and then it also happened two days ago.
Speaker 1: God, what does your gallbladder do? I mean, yours isn't
Speaker 1: doing anything, but what does it do normally?
Speaker 3: Do?
Speaker 2: The gallbladder stores bile? So it is shit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So the goal the gall bladder is kind of
Speaker 3: like the appendix and that it's it's like number two
Speaker 3: in uselessness.
Speaker 2: It's not quite.
Speaker 3: Totally useless, but it's pretty close to being useless. It's like,
Speaker 3: you don't need it.
Speaker 1: We are going to probably a couple thousand years probably not.
Speaker 3: Have one, right, Yeah, and a couple thousand and so
Speaker 3: if you get it taken out, it's like not a
Speaker 3: huge deal. But it is like a surgery under anesthesia
Speaker 3: and stuff.
Speaker 1: So what is it gonna? Is it gonna cure this
Speaker 1: stomach issue you have?
Speaker 2: Hopefully? Yeah? But the pain.
Speaker 3: So two days ago, I ate a decadent meal at
Speaker 3: a dark restaurant and I with my wife, and that
Speaker 3: night I felt like such shit, But I didn't feel
Speaker 3: like I was in pain. You know how you eat
Speaker 3: like just like a greasy or heavy greasy either you
Speaker 3: seat like a lot of food, and then you just
Speaker 3: feel kind of like I felt like that. I went
Speaker 3: to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night.
Speaker 3: Excruciating pain. Not an uncommon feeling for me. I've experienced
Speaker 3: IBS symptoms and all this stuff for my entire life.
Speaker 3: But then I got rid of it thanks to sarno
Speaker 3: esque type thinking away the pain. But I haven't had
Speaker 3: a stomach issue for five years, god and so. But
Speaker 3: this year, three times within the last five months, I've
Speaker 3: had a stomach issue that caused me to vomit profusely,
Speaker 3: which is something that I have never done. I I
Speaker 3: haven't thrown up in twenty five years, and now I've
Speaker 3: thrown up on three different occasions this year. And the
Speaker 3: pain is excruciating and I was so. I was in
Speaker 3: pain two nights ago for sixteen straight hours.
Speaker 2: I could not get over it.
Speaker 1: And I was like to take anything like an advilla
Speaker 1: or something.
Speaker 3: You can't take advilla that's bad for your stomach. You
Speaker 3: have to take like my Lanta pepsid tombs.
Speaker 1: Like, and you're doing that stuff.
Speaker 3: I took pepsid and thumbs and my Lanta didn't absolutely nothing.
Speaker 3: It felt like it made things worse. But I was
Speaker 3: in so much pain that I was like, I feel
Speaker 3: like this is like child what childbirth is like. And
Speaker 3: I didn't want to be like, oh, I know what.
Speaker 3: I'm a man, I have no idea. But then my
Speaker 3: friend's sister had her gallbladder removed and she has three children,
Speaker 3: and she said I asked him. I was like, she
Speaker 3: what did she say? And she said, unprompted, she said, childbirth.
Speaker 3: Get the gallbladder removed. I feel much better now. It's
Speaker 3: worth it. And also the pain of I would put
Speaker 3: the pain of a gallbladder attack is this is almost
Speaker 3: as no, she said. I want to say exactly what
Speaker 3: she said because I want I want the women to
Speaker 3: know out there who've had me, I would know.
Speaker 1: We don't think.
Speaker 2: For a man to experience.
Speaker 1: By the way, I wanted to say, as a woman
Speaker 1: who's never having kids, I would like to have the
Speaker 1: right to be able to say that something is as
Speaker 1: painful as childbirth, just because I never I'm like a
Speaker 1: man too, I'm never going to experience it, so I
Speaker 1: believe there are pain the.
Speaker 3: Fact that child it lasted for sixteen hours. That's why
Speaker 3: I was comparing it to labor.
Speaker 1: Right, right, right? Did you have contractions on it?
Speaker 3: I was like, I was thinking, just breathe, just breathe,
Speaker 3: and I kept doing deep breathing to try to get
Speaker 3: through it.
Speaker 1: ALI like rubbing your back, Like what is she doing
Speaker 1: during this? Like being in pain this long by yourself
Speaker 1: is awful?
Speaker 2: She had no idea. She was asleep in the other room.
Speaker 1: Sixteen hours. You were asleep for.
Speaker 2: Well, well she was.
Speaker 3: She went to work. So I was in bed and
Speaker 3: she went to work. I was in bed.
Speaker 1: I don't lasted till the day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't remember what the time. No, yeah, it
Speaker 3: was sixteen hours because it was Sunday. She was just asleep.
Speaker 3: She sleeps until two pm on the weekends. Okay, So
Speaker 3: this person's sister said, she said the pain of the
Speaker 3: gallbladder attacks was as bad as labor. I wouldn't wish
Speaker 3: it on anyone. And I felt so vindicated for my
Speaker 3: feeling because I was like, yes, I knew it was
Speaker 3: that bad. It was so bad, moody, it was so painful,
Speaker 3: and I couldn't do anything about it. The only solution
Speaker 3: I could think of was to run. So I just
Speaker 3: started running around town.
Speaker 1: In penn in the middle of the night or once was.
Speaker 2: In the morning.
Speaker 3: This early morning, I just started running because running was
Speaker 3: really distracting, and I felt like maybe it would help
Speaker 3: me like digest whatever's happening. Yes, and also just like
Speaker 3: get everything moving, get the blood flowing. So I ran
Speaker 3: for like thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: Yes, because you're if your body is moving and distracted, yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe you won't feel it.
Speaker 3: Holy shit, it was so it's I'm so sorry, man,
Speaker 3: I still feel like queasy and not right.
Speaker 1: And when are you having the surgery?
Speaker 3: So first I have to get an ultrasound to show
Speaker 3: that I have gallstones, and maybe I don't, maybe it's
Speaker 3: something else I don't know, but so I have an
Speaker 3: ultrasound next week.
Speaker 1: And then uh so the thinking it's gallstones like kidney stones.
Speaker 2: But for your for your gallbladder. Yeah, because I went
Speaker 2: to the doctor.
Speaker 1: That's what they said. Kidney stones are horribly painful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I can only match the same.
Speaker 3: I went to the doctor and he said, like, you
Speaker 3: have a gallbladder problem. Because he's like, we we should
Speaker 3: have filmed this doctor's appointment because it should be shown
Speaker 3: to medical students to show them what a textbook definition
Speaker 3: of someone presenting a problem. And then he pushed on
Speaker 3: my stomach. He did a manual exam. I was laying
Speaker 3: on the table. He pushed on my stomach. He pushed
Speaker 3: on the gallbladder. And I'm a guy like, if I
Speaker 3: get a massage, I want them to destroy me. Nothing
Speaker 3: you can do that, Well, I'll say that's not gall Yeah,
Speaker 3: And he pushed down on my gallbladder and I could
Speaker 3: not help but WinCE.
Speaker 2: I was like ah.
Speaker 3: And he's like, that hurt you, and I was like yeah.
Speaker 3: And then he pushed on the other side and he
Speaker 3: said this is the same pressure. And I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't even feel that. And he's like and they
Speaker 3: pushed on the gall bladder.
Speaker 1: Definite.
Speaker 3: So I have an issue. It could be inflamed, but
Speaker 3: it could be gallstones. And the that is to get
Speaker 3: it removed and then hopefully I'll feel better.
Speaker 1: But it's just another of your I mean, how many
Speaker 1: surgeries have you had on your ass alone?
Speaker 2: Oh my ass alone?
Speaker 1: Well, like you had the surgery alone on your ass,
Speaker 1: six on your ass? Any others?
Speaker 3: Balls, balls, laparoscopic surgery of my balls, any other I
Speaker 3: mean I had in the last two years, I've had
Speaker 3: three teeth extracted.
Speaker 1: Just like an it's kind of a surgery.
Speaker 2: And I've got a gum graph.
Speaker 1: Under Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2: So now I don't know what So that's a question.
Speaker 3: I was like, I would love to do the gum
Speaker 3: graph in the and the gall bladder removal at the
Speaker 3: same time, because then I'm just like.
Speaker 1: I was just at my facial list talking about when
Speaker 1: I was going to do some laser treatments and the
Speaker 1: downtime is eight days, and I go, I can't There's
Speaker 1: no time where I'm not on stage or on camera
Speaker 1: for eight days. It just isn't going to happen. And
Speaker 1: I really don't understand where people have any time to
Speaker 1: have plastics surgery, which all these women have in Hollywood.
Speaker 1: I want to know where Emily Blunt went, and I
Speaker 1: want to know what she did, and I want to
Speaker 1: know the timeline, and I want to know where she
Speaker 1: went and healed. And that's not calling her out, It's
Speaker 1: just stating the obvious that that is a beautiful face
Speaker 1: and I want it, and.
Speaker 3: There's got a way to get it. Yeah, we went
Speaker 3: a whole month without talking, but.
Speaker 1: That was like it under the guise of like this
Speaker 1: is emergency, like I'm not gonna be able to talk,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be able to perform, but it really
Speaker 1: if I won't be able to perform, if I don't
Speaker 1: get a facelift, I truly will not be so sad.
Speaker 1: It's but yeah, I feel like the running thing is
Speaker 1: really interesting. I went running two days ago because I
Speaker 1: was in mental anguish and I just couldn't deal with it.
Speaker 1: And I was just like, Okay, I just have to
Speaker 1: like tire myself, like I just need to do something
Speaker 1: to distract it. So I do think that a lot
Speaker 1: of times. Wait, it's the best, and I usually go
Speaker 1: running just for exercise and for fresh air. But the
Speaker 1: other day I was just like I just need to
Speaker 1: burn because I had already done a pilates class to
Speaker 1: day that was really hard. It was one of those
Speaker 1: like intense plunk I call it plunk p l n
Speaker 1: K classes that makes you want to die several times
Speaker 1: through it. But I still didn't. I was still like
Speaker 1: I can't be alone with these I've tried to pick
Speaker 1: up a book and maybe get into that, but like
Speaker 1: sometimes your thoughts are just like won't go away, so
Speaker 1: you have to. Like when I run, I can feel
Speaker 1: like I don't ruminate as much, yeahcause I'm focused on
Speaker 1: like how exhausted I am.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and pushing through. Do you listen to anything when
Speaker 2: you're running?
Speaker 1: Oh the whole time? Taylor Swift, No No, and other
Speaker 1: stuff too, just like I love I love running to music.
Speaker 1: It makes me feel like it's my Probably my second
Speaker 1: favorite way to listen to music first is in a
Speaker 1: car driving. Maybe maybe running is number one though, but
Speaker 1: that's too. I love car music.
Speaker 3: But car that's better than car music. Singing to your car.
Speaker 3: You're in a box where you can sing as loud
Speaker 3: as you want. Oh, you just run on town singing.
Speaker 1: Well, if there's someone I'm coming across, I stop singing
Speaker 1: they get close. But I if i'd like you can
Speaker 1: see kind of around you, and if someone's behind me,
Speaker 1: that's their fault.
Speaker 2: I was I did but in their house or something.
Speaker 2: What can heppen?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: My thing is like I don't want people to think
Speaker 1: that I'm trying to sing, so they're like they they
Speaker 1: think that I'm like trying to be like I have
Speaker 1: a good voice, Like I just so if someone if
Speaker 1: I'm singing and someone comes in the gym, I'm not
Speaker 1: that embarrassed because I don't think they think I was
Speaker 1: doing it for them. They know I was just doing
Speaker 1: this alone anyway. Yeah, if that makes any sense.
Speaker 3: I think for most people that would be more embarrassing
Speaker 3: to know you were caught.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah. The embarrassing thing to me is not like
Speaker 1: because actually singing while you're running is so fun, but
Speaker 1: it's more embarrassing to be like, I think I have
Speaker 1: a beautiful voice, I'm gonna sing.
Speaker 3: Like.
Speaker 1: You know, some people just like sing in public and
Speaker 1: like hum and you know that they like think they
Speaker 1: sound good and they're just trying to show off or
Speaker 1: am I being really negative?
Speaker 2: My wife does that, She hums all the time, and
Speaker 2: she's no, she's.
Speaker 1: Not someone that does that. I'm talking about people who
Speaker 1: know there's a difference. Some people just hum yeah, like
Speaker 1: past the time and sing to themselves.
Speaker 3: It's like a soothing it's so it's like it's something
Speaker 3: that their mother probably did.
Speaker 1: I guess I'm thinking about crazy people, like literal crazy
Speaker 1: people who are you like, they're singing to themselves in
Speaker 1: public and that happens once in a while at the
Speaker 1: airport once a but on the train in New York
Speaker 1: lots or in public in LA homeless people. I'm I
Speaker 1: guess that's.
Speaker 3: Why homeless people trying to busk. I'm having trouble picture
Speaker 3: someone just like impromptu singing on the subway train because
Speaker 3: they think they sound good unless they're like a homeless
Speaker 3: person busking or.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I don't know. I'm kind of mixing ideas here,
Speaker 1: but I do know that some people I don't know,
Speaker 1: Like I think that some people when they're working out
Speaker 1: or like singing in their car and you're in the
Speaker 1: car with them, they're like trying to sound really.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that I can that I can relate to
Speaker 3: is being in the car, and then.
Speaker 1: Can I also try to sound good for myself and
Speaker 1: you're in the car, are like, and you don't think
Speaker 1: that I'm trying to sound good for you because I
Speaker 1: try to sound good all the time, like I'm always
Speaker 1: working at sounding the best.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, I don't want people to be around when I
Speaker 1: sing because I don't want them to think that I
Speaker 1: think I'm cool.
Speaker 3: Right well, now, I'm a culprit of what you're describing
Speaker 3: in the car, like, if we're listening to a song
Speaker 3: in the car and we're singing, I do sing. I
Speaker 3: try to sing a little bit better, yeah, or especially
Speaker 3: if it's like a song I know all the lyrics
Speaker 3: to and I'm like, I'm going to prove that I
Speaker 3: know everything.
Speaker 1: We all do it.
Speaker 2: And then I messed up a lyric and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm so embarrassed. I want to jump out of the car.
Speaker 1: Confident and hitting that lyric. Oh god, we've all just
Speaker 1: the way you is a fuck yes, yes, fuck no.
Speaker 2: I know it's our I know it's our.
Speaker 3: No, the other person probably thinks you're a piece of
Speaker 3: shit after that, and the yeah get no billy fan, Yeah,
Speaker 3: oh take got a gun.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's was a big fear of At Swifty concerts, it's like,
Speaker 1: oh god, like because everyone's like, oh my god, what
Speaker 1: if I don't know the lyrics and I'm like, I don't.
Speaker 1: As of someone who I know, my swiftness could not
Speaker 1: be stronger. I wouldn't want it to be. I don't
Speaker 1: know many lyrics to many songs, and that's okay, and
Speaker 1: I'm a lyric at once. I will learn the lyrics
Speaker 1: once I really really care about a song and have
Speaker 1: a romance with it. But it's not. It's it's impossible
Speaker 1: for me to know.
Speaker 3: In fact, if you get the lyric wrong, it makes
Speaker 3: people feel better because they're like, oh, I'm a little
Speaker 3: better than this person because I knew that lyric and
Speaker 3: she did it.
Speaker 1: But I do love knowing lyrics. It's it's fun when
Speaker 1: I'm like learning new ones. It's it's a good experience.
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's like such a meaningless skill to have too,
Speaker 3: It's like it doesn't mean anything to know the lyrics.
Speaker 1: No, it's taking up space in your brain that could
Speaker 1: be for other things.
Speaker 2: You could be learning science or Spanish or something.
Speaker 1: Or that Mexico is not in South America. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: found that out the hard way. Oh my god, bygling it.
Speaker 1: Wait did you get questioned that on a show your recently? No,
Speaker 1: I just like think it came up once and I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't know if Mexico is in North
Speaker 1: or South America. I literally think it's in South America
Speaker 1: because it's Mexico, you know, like south right, Like North
Speaker 1: America is just Canada and US, like it just feels
Speaker 1: we're white.
Speaker 2: What I thought North America was white.
Speaker 1: Honestly, maybe my brain was thinking that kind of and
Speaker 1: not that I think it was more. I wish it
Speaker 1: were more brown. I don't give a fuck. It's just it.
Speaker 1: That's the way my But that was a really dumb
Speaker 1: one for me to learn late in life.
Speaker 3: I felt, Oh, yeah, I'm trying to I'm trying to
Speaker 3: implant a bunch of those things into my niece. So like,
Speaker 3: one thing I do to my niece is I'll tell
Speaker 3: her wrong information, like but information that just doesn't matter. Uh,
Speaker 3: Like I'd be like the the the the uh, what's
Speaker 3: the president face? The Mount Rushmore is in Montana.
Speaker 1: That's not good because she's gonna be on some trivia
Speaker 1: show someday and be like, I know this because my
Speaker 1: my uncle. She trusted it in my head, she trusted me.
Speaker 3: I also for the first two years of her life,
Speaker 3: only whenever I saw her, I would wear oven mits.
Speaker 3: And I told her that why. I said, I have
Speaker 3: an issue with my hands, and I I'm embarrassed about
Speaker 3: my hands, so I wear of a mits.
Speaker 2: All the time.
Speaker 1: This is not what you did.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I literally did that.
Speaker 1: No you did it. No you didn't. Yeah, no, you
Speaker 1: did it.
Speaker 2: It was a joke.
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, no, it was a joke that you just
Speaker 1: said that you did that, or you actually wore oven
Speaker 1: mits around your knees.
Speaker 3: The joke really, if I'm gonna it's for my The
Speaker 3: oven mits around my niece was for everyone around my niece.
Speaker 1: So every time you saw her, you would wear oven mits.
Speaker 1: And how often were you seeing her?
Speaker 2: Not very often. It would be like a couple of
Speaker 2: times a year.
Speaker 1: So she just thought maybe you had just some crazy.
Speaker 3: She didn't think anything because she's the baby. It was
Speaker 3: the first two years of her life.
Speaker 1: Were you scared of like touching her and getting germs.
Speaker 2: To I wouldn't even be with her.
Speaker 3: I'd be on the on FaceTime or something and I'd
Speaker 3: be like, oh, uncle Brian has oven mits on, and
Speaker 3: it doesn't matter because she's not gonna remember that.
Speaker 2: It was more like a bit for my brother.
Speaker 1: And okay, yeah, did they like it.
Speaker 2: Everyone thought it was weird.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is weird. I don't even know why it's
Speaker 1: supposed to be funny. But that's I don't know either.
Speaker 1: I mean, I just and how did were you getting
Speaker 1: on a FaceTime at one point where like I just
Speaker 1: put on these other.
Speaker 3: The very first time I had oven Okay, so this
Speaker 3: is the origin of it. The very first time I
Speaker 3: had oven mits on. When because the first time I
Speaker 3: ever met her face time?
Speaker 1: Okay, that makes sense. Okay, so that's so.
Speaker 3: Then from that point on, I was like, well, I'm
Speaker 3: wearing it because I was I was cooking something and
Speaker 3: I had oven mits on and it's like, oh, gole
Speaker 3: Brian ovimtz. And then I said, at that time, now
Speaker 3: this makes more sense to me. Yes, I always wear
Speaker 3: oven mits because I'm I have a tell Aila, I
Speaker 3: have a problem with my hand, very self conscious.
Speaker 1: But my mind that's funny. That's funny.
Speaker 3: So then from that point on I kept a bit
Speaker 3: going for about two years and then you know, eventually
Speaker 3: I saw her enough times where I was like, I
Speaker 3: can't wear oven mits for all of Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1: Yeah, to Grandma's funeral, Yeah.
Speaker 2: And the mok kind of thing.
Speaker 3: I would say, she doesn't know what any of those
Speaker 3: words mean, at least not yet.
Speaker 1: And so I mean, we lie to them about Santa Claus.
Speaker 1: Why not throw in you know, mouth that take me?
Speaker 3: Or so, now that she's getting older, instead of telling
Speaker 3: her lies about things, I tell her the truth the
Speaker 3: brutal truth.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I try to. I've tried been trying to do
Speaker 1: that lately too. We'll talk about more niece and nephew
Speaker 1: stuff because I have a thing. I saw them last night,
Speaker 1: and I have a thing to talk about when we
Speaker 1: get back that. Yeah, Like I'm not gonna have kids.
Speaker 1: I'm really sure of that, especially now that I just
Speaker 1: feel like my life is all kind of coming together
Speaker 1: in a way. I really like it, and I really
Speaker 1: just am liking life. And so maybe I might do
Speaker 1: a hotocopy and like adopt a kid in my fifties,
Speaker 1: but who knows. But I did see my niece and
Speaker 1: nephew last night because my other nephew was sleeping. I
Speaker 1: went over there and they kept asking me why are
Speaker 1: you here? There was a question I got a lot.
Speaker 1: They are seven and five, Why.
Speaker 3: Are you here?
Speaker 1: Because I was supposed to meet their mom out for dinner,
Speaker 1: but then I decided I was like bored, and so
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll just come over and hang out
Speaker 1: and I'll pick you up. And so when I got there,
Speaker 1: they were confused a lot of why are you heres?
Speaker 1: And then they also my brother in law, Matt, told
Speaker 1: me that they have been bullying my sister and brother
Speaker 1: in law and my both my parents for why aren't
Speaker 1: they famous? Because they are mad that that, like they
Speaker 1: showed them up me on TV. And now Arlo is like,
Speaker 1: why are you guys famous? Like it's not enough, Like
Speaker 1: he wants his parents, like his parents are failing him
Speaker 1: now that they're not famous, like he's understanding what money
Speaker 1: and fame are in a way. So I thought I
Speaker 1: got the text message from my sister, and I got
Speaker 1: to admit I felt kind of cool, like he is
Speaker 1: like thinks he kind of under understands what I do
Speaker 1: is cool, which makes me feel good because usually they
Speaker 1: just don't care at all, and I'm just dying for
Speaker 1: them to think I'm cool. So I went over there thinking,
Speaker 1: like they're to talk about me being famous because I
Speaker 1: saw them I wasn't this famous and they didn't care
Speaker 1: at all. Why are you here? And then and they
Speaker 1: do you have presents for us? And I go, no,
Speaker 1: I don't have presents for you, because we've done this
Speaker 1: new thing where we're like not giving them presents anymore.
Speaker 1: Because I used to give them presents every time I
Speaker 1: saw them. They're they're obsessed with presents, and so even
Speaker 1: if you might have one, they keep obsessively talking about
Speaker 1: it the whole time you're there. Once they open it,
Speaker 1: they instantly want another one. It's not enough. So we've
Speaker 1: just said, like, no present.
Speaker 2: Man, the other shoe is dropped on this one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so they're kind of understanding it. But Poppy
Speaker 1: did say, do you have a present for us? And
Speaker 1: I said, no, no more presence. I'm just coming up.
Speaker 1: Isn't my presence enough? And she didn't understand that because
Speaker 1: she's a present kissed my as, oh that's yeah. And
Speaker 1: then so she I go, you know what, what, You've
Speaker 1: never given me a present? Why is it just like
Speaker 1: get you just get get yet.
Speaker 2: Like you're a kid.
Speaker 3: And I tell the kids lies and I were often
Speaker 3: mits around them because they don't deserve anything.
Speaker 1: Give me a present, Poppy, I go, next, I will
Speaker 1: give you a present if you give me presents. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I go, and I know you don't
Speaker 1: have any money, I said, but you can make things.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, you can make things and she was like,
Speaker 1: I don't know how to make things. And I go, yes,
Speaker 1: you do, make a card, draw some shapes on it,
Speaker 1: and then send me a message about how you feel
Speaker 1: about me? And she's like, I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: write that. I go tell your mommy what you want
Speaker 1: to tell me and then put it in a card.
Speaker 1: And she was like okay, and then I'm going to
Speaker 1: do it now. And I was like, no, just spend
Speaker 1: time with me now, make a card later. And she
Speaker 1: was like, no, I want to do it now. So
Speaker 1: she goes off and makes a card and I got
Speaker 1: a card that said, Nikki, thank you so much for
Speaker 1: coming over. PS, why are you here? Niki, thank you
Speaker 1: for coming over? And it was nice. But now I oh,
Speaker 1: now I learn. But I think that is good to
Speaker 1: think there's a barn.
Speaker 2: Give a pony.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got so I gotta go buy her gift
Speaker 1: because she's graduating tonight from pre school. I have to
Speaker 1: go to a preschool graduation.
Speaker 3: And you see, this is exactly why I tell my
Speaker 3: niece that Mount Rushmore is in Montana because she won't graduate.
Speaker 3: It teaches them she won't graduate. I'll never have a stupid,
Speaker 3: boring graduation. Yeah no, it teaches them a lesson. And
Speaker 3: the lesson is, you can't trust anybody. You can't trust
Speaker 3: Uncle Brian. They're gonna lie to you you got to
Speaker 3: look it up yourself.
Speaker 1: No, but thank me, I was trying to actually get through.
Speaker 1: My nephew is a perfectionist, and I really relate to it.
Speaker 1: Like they were. They were painting these pottery things that
Speaker 1: was like a little Gnome house, and on the box
Speaker 1: for this thing there was a perfectly painted one, and
Speaker 1: so they This is a tip to all parents that
Speaker 1: my sister learned yesterday. The kids like can't handle that,
Speaker 1: they can't make it look perfect like the one on
Speaker 1: the box. Like it's really stressful for theirs. And so
Speaker 1: just if you ever have a craft project with the
Speaker 1: finished product on the box, get the box out of
Speaker 1: there before you give it to your kids, because it
Speaker 1: actually stifles their creativity because it makes them want to
Speaker 1: be uniform and do exactly this. So Arlow was so
Speaker 1: upset and just like I hate it. I'm gonna throw
Speaker 1: it in the trash. I hate it. I'm bad at
Speaker 1: this and like just so mad at himself for not
Speaker 1: being good at it. And boy did I relate to that,
Speaker 1: Like that is so me of like if I if
Speaker 1: it can't be perfect, I want to throw it in
Speaker 1: the trash. And I'm mad that anyone even gave it
Speaker 1: to me, like why would you? I mean, I used
Speaker 1: to feel so ugly. I used to tell my mom
Speaker 1: why did you and dad have sex to make me?
Speaker 1: When I was I'm so disgusting, Like it's your fault,
Speaker 1: and he started even getting into that. He was like,
Speaker 1: it's your fault for buying this, that I'm bad at it,
Speaker 1: and it was like, oh my god, we have the
Speaker 1: same brain. And so I told my sister, I'm like,
Speaker 1: we need to stop this right now. Final thought, perfectionism
Speaker 1: is a disease and if you can't get a hold
Speaker 1: of it, I was like, I do not want him
Speaker 1: to be pushing forty and fighting it like I am
Speaker 1: still like it's not this isn't good for you. It's
Speaker 1: an illusion and there's got to be a way to
Speaker 1: get in there. So I was like, we both need
Speaker 1: to google YouTube videos about child childhood perfectionism and how
Speaker 1: to combat it and what causes it, because they are
Speaker 1: amazing parents that do not expect perfection from their kids
Speaker 1: at all, Like they're both not perfectionists in that way,
Speaker 1: but he is. And I it's so hard to watch
Speaker 1: because he's he will not hear well, you need to
Speaker 1: be bad to be good at things like he won't
Speaker 1: hear it, And I remember being that same kid.
Speaker 3: I think I'm a perfectionist for sure, and it's probably
Speaker 3: the root of almost all my problems. And I think
Speaker 3: one of the solutions to perfectionism is recognizing that that
Speaker 3: standard that picture on the box, just because it's on
Speaker 3: the box, doesn't mean it's perfect. No, that box picture
Speaker 3: is maybe not the correct thing. And if you made,
Speaker 3: you might make something that's better than the box thing.
Speaker 3: And so just hold yourself to some arbitrary standard that
Speaker 3: society has set for you, or that someone says, whoever
Speaker 3: says is the perfect standard, that who says that they're
Speaker 3: right and they're perfect.
Speaker 1: And I think this is why like looking at like
Speaker 1: abstract art in like Jackson Pollock type stuff is important
Speaker 1: to focus on, Like staying in the lines is not
Speaker 1: that great and is not is not what makes you good,
Speaker 1: Like I feel like I wish someone would have told
Speaker 1: me that, like the things you do wrong are actually
Speaker 1: gonna make you the most successful in your life, Like
Speaker 1: the things that the reason you can't draw in the
Speaker 1: lines on that GNOME's face is actually the reason why
Speaker 1: you're going to be so much better than ever drawing
Speaker 1: a fucking gnome pottery house. Yeah, like that that you're
Speaker 1: gonna be the reason that you're going to be better
Speaker 1: than you have to be bad at this to be
Speaker 1: good at all the things you're good at. And I
Speaker 1: wish that there was some way to make that connection
Speaker 1: in kids' minds, but it's so fucking hard.
Speaker 3: And see, these are the types of things you don't
Speaker 3: lie to kids about. I like my sister that my
Speaker 3: niece she is learning now that sometimes foods that you
Speaker 3: haven't tried yet might be good.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean there's adults who still don't know that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, right, So I mean that's important lesson. I'm not
Speaker 3: gonna lie to her about that. Yeah, that's these are
Speaker 3: the things. Yeah, but you still you so like for perfectionism,
Speaker 3: for things like this, These are all the things you'd
Speaker 3: be a good What about you?
Speaker 1: There was like an argument online about if you should
Speaker 1: tell your kid to say sorry even if they're not,
Speaker 1: like teaching kids to say sorry as almost like a
Speaker 1: serb okay, because I thought that at first.
Speaker 2: And then I was like, that's my initial instinct.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my initial instinct was that, But then I didn't
Speaker 1: read the full article. But there was. I guess a
Speaker 1: pretty substantial argument for the other side, which is just
Speaker 1: like just learn how you kind of sometimes have to
Speaker 1: learn how to be a nice person and sometimes empathy
Speaker 1: does not come easy, and just to keep the world working.
Speaker 1: Like so like.
Speaker 3: Sorry even when you feel when you don't feel sorry
Speaker 3: or sorry, even when you shouldn't be sorry.
Speaker 1: I guess like if you you tell your if your
Speaker 1: kid is not feeling sorry and like hit some kid
Speaker 1: on the playground and it is one hundred percent not sorry,
Speaker 1: you still have to be like you have to tell
Speaker 1: that kid sorry. I guess I wouldn't. I would say
Speaker 1: no in that case, but I would then go take
Speaker 1: my kid to be tested for psychopathy. I really would,
Speaker 1: because people are psychopaths. And if you don't feel remorse, ever,
Speaker 1: somebody should check on your kid. Yeah, you should check
Speaker 1: on your kid if they don't feel remorse paths, if
Speaker 1: they're like age six and they're still doing really shitty
Speaker 1: things and not feeling sorry, I would bother.
Speaker 3: I don't have children, but I'd feel weird if my
Speaker 3: kid didn't feel sorry and I told them go lie
Speaker 3: to that other kid and tell them that you feel
Speaker 3: sorry even though you don't. Then you'll get the you'll
Speaker 3: get the accolade of being empathetic and you and you'll
Speaker 3: love just lied.
Speaker 1: Yeah I would. Also, You're right, I don't want to
Speaker 1: flying lying. I'm really fucking done with I just put
Speaker 1: out a thing in my girl's chat because I've just
Speaker 1: noticed that and I do it too, and I just
Speaker 1: want to to us all to catch it is this
Speaker 1: like if you don't want to go somewhere, saying you're sick,
Speaker 1: when you're really not saying that, like oh, not telling
Speaker 1: like say I don't like something that you did for me, Brian,
Speaker 1: And instead of telling you, like this wasn't a good
Speaker 1: enough job you did, I tell you the people that
Speaker 1: I'm doing this for think it's not a good job,
Speaker 1: right even though they never even saw it. And then
Speaker 1: I but it's I still get the message across that
Speaker 1: you don't have that you didn't do the good job,
Speaker 1: but I don't have to be accountable for it, or
Speaker 1: even just saying I don't want to go somewhere or
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to Yes, you're my friend,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to see you. I just don't
Speaker 1: have it in me, like like, just no more lying
Speaker 1: about our true feelings.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's hard to do because you're afraid
Speaker 3: you're gonna upset the other person. And sometimes people can't
Speaker 3: handle the truth. And that's a line from that movie.
Speaker 1: But but it's true.
Speaker 3: Sometimes people can't handle hearing that and they can't handle criticism.
Speaker 1: Well, then those people need to get out of your
Speaker 1: life because I can't deal with at AA.
Speaker 3: That's why you're afraid to say it sometimes because it's
Speaker 3: the reaction that might happen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that probably you need to have that reaction
Speaker 1: because you need to just those people need to show
Speaker 1: you their true colors. Like I can't. I don't take
Speaker 1: guilt trips anymore. If I like can't make it to
Speaker 1: something and someone goes, oh, we were really looking forward
Speaker 1: to it, what really? Like are you? Are you? If
Speaker 1: I tell you I can't do something, there's no wiggle
Speaker 1: room for me. If there is wiggle room, I'll go
Speaker 1: listen if you really need me to make it to
Speaker 1: the set, because whatever, if I'm canceling something, if it's
Speaker 1: gonna be hard for you to find a replacement, if
Speaker 1: this is something you were counting on, like, I will
Speaker 1: absolutely do it. I will put that in there. But
Speaker 1: if I'm saying I can't do it, no amount of
Speaker 1: you being like, but I wanted it. Why would you
Speaker 1: even want me to show up then? Because now I'm
Speaker 1: showing up because I feel bad?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like what people are weird that they would even want
Speaker 1: someone to still with them and hang out with them
Speaker 1: if they've already tried to get out of it. There
Speaker 1: was a so I shared this tweet in my girl's
Speaker 1: chat to emphasize my point, which they were all on
Speaker 1: board for. And I find myself doing this stuff too
Speaker 1: to avoid conflict. But it's from Adam M Grant on
Speaker 1: x or Twitter, whatever we call it. When you turn
Speaker 1: down a request, you don't owe an explanation. Other people
Speaker 1: aren't entitled to know your reasons and priorities. Being courteous
Speaker 1: is not just about is not about justifying your decision.
Speaker 1: Being courteous is not about justifying your decision. It's about
Speaker 1: showing gratitude for the invitation and then in quotes honored
Speaker 1: to be asked, sorry to decline, boom done. You don't
Speaker 1: need to say why you can't go? This is my thing.
Speaker 1: Is like when people ask, well, why why can't you go?
Speaker 1: People don't do that often and if they do, they're
Speaker 1: a really weird person and you probably are trying to
Speaker 1: get them out of your life. Anyway, This is the
Speaker 1: thing most people that like. But she's gonna say something
Speaker 1: weird back, I go, do you why are you friends
Speaker 1: with this person? Well? We met early on, and she
Speaker 1: helped me with this thing a couple of years ago.
Speaker 1: And it's like, so you don't like this person, Like,
Speaker 1: if you had a choice to go to dinner with her,
Speaker 1: you probably did have dinner alone, right, So why are
Speaker 1: you trying to keep this person in your life in
Speaker 1: the first place?
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: So many people keep people in their lives because they've
Speaker 3: known them for a long time. No. I can't imagine
Speaker 3: a worse reason to keep someone in your life than
Speaker 3: be like, well, I've known them since I was twelve, and.
Speaker 1: It's or to be kept in someone's life. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: so embarrassing. Oh yeah, I'm just friend. She's friends with
Speaker 1: me because we met in middle school. That you don't
Speaker 1: know them anything. You don't know them anything.
Speaker 3: I have one friend who has a friend who is
Speaker 3: a legit piece of shit, and they're still friends because
Speaker 3: it's this person's oldest friend. They've known each other since
Speaker 3: they were like five. Yeah, and there's this person has
Speaker 3: like literally done like evil demonic. Well, they're probably scared
Speaker 3: of crails.
Speaker 1: They're probably scared of them a little bit.
Speaker 2: I'm a little scared of some people that i've you.
Speaker 1: Know, Yeah, I mean there are some people that like
Speaker 1: might get really mad at you when you have boundaries
Speaker 1: with them. And that's why you don't and that's why
Speaker 1: you say, agree to go on hikes with them, and
Speaker 1: agree to go to lunches and agree.
Speaker 3: To go on girls drips, which situation.
Speaker 1: But at some point, and this is what I'm turning
Speaker 1: forty in two weeks. I think it is so lame
Speaker 1: to be in your forties and beyond and doing things
Speaker 1: because other people want you to. I just like don't
Speaker 1: think it's a good look. I don't want it for
Speaker 1: other people I look up to, Like everyone I look
Speaker 1: up to in their forties and fifties, like don't go
Speaker 1: to things they don't want to go to. They don't,
Speaker 1: they don't just they're not insecure. Like I think that
Speaker 1: at forty, I need to leave that shit behind. I'm
Speaker 1: trying so hard because I don't want to people please anymore.
Speaker 1: I think it's when I see my friends do it,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, ugh, it like makes me disrespect them,
Speaker 1: and it also makes me think that they lie to me.
Speaker 1: When my friends are making up excuses in front of
Speaker 1: me about being sick because they don't want to go
Speaker 1: out with this girl and they don't really like her,
Speaker 1: the next time they tell me they're sick, it's boy
Speaker 1: who cried sick. I'm not going to believe them. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna think maybe they don't like me. And honestly, I
Speaker 1: don't care if you don't like me or not, just
Speaker 1: like I'll not you know what, I won't like you
Speaker 1: anymore because I don't trust you, because I just think
Speaker 1: you lie to everyone. And I've worked on it too.
Speaker 2: Sounds like there's a lot of I don't like.
Speaker 1: Shit talking, no more cutting or lying.
Speaker 3: No more cutting in front of somebody in a talk circle.
Speaker 1: Cutting those people everyone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a number of being rude to waiters, and no
Speaker 3: more hemming and hawing at the menu.
Speaker 2: You're all done.
Speaker 3: You're out watching me on Instagram live playing guitar. You
Speaker 3: watch me on.
Speaker 1: Instagram live play the guitar, don't I don't want anyone
Speaker 1: in there, all right?
Speaker 2: I cannot give that disclaimer before we leave.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know a lot of people are going to
Speaker 3: come at me for being a piece of shit to
Speaker 3: my knees, for lying to her, and I have it.
Speaker 3: I just want to I just want to say or
Speaker 3: or worse, people will be like, who is that guy?
Speaker 3: I don't care, But if you do come at me
Speaker 3: for being a piece of shit, I just want to say,
Speaker 3: I've only done it a few times. And I'm really
Speaker 3: lizing slowly funny that you shouldn't lie to children.
Speaker 1: Know, these people are all lying about Santa Claus and
Speaker 1: the Easter Bunny and even God at many times, and
Speaker 1: Jesus and all the things kids are constantly being told lies.
Speaker 3: But I do have a very good relationship with my niece.
Speaker 2: She loves me. She calls me uncle Brian.
Speaker 1: Oh does she that's original?
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's well, you know, she could say I don't
Speaker 3: know who that guy is because I don't live in
Speaker 3: the same state as her.
Speaker 1: I mean, noting that your niece calls you uncle Brian
Speaker 1: is one of the most boring.
Speaker 2: She goes, I love uncle.
Speaker 1: My niece calls me Uncle Brian. It was really gonna
Speaker 1: sound like she had a pet name for you or
Speaker 1: like a fun.
Speaker 2: Like that, you know that feels like my uncle.
Speaker 1: Bobo or something like that would be of note, But
Speaker 1: it just.
Speaker 2: Says I love Uncle Brian. I want to see Uncle Brian.
Speaker 1: Even though it does mean a lot when they when
Speaker 1: they say your name, or when they struggle to say
Speaker 1: it for us to say, he goes nay, I love it.
Speaker 1: And then we've got the rest of that bar. Why
Speaker 1: are you here lady? All right, guys, thank you for
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast. We'll see you next week. I'll
Speaker 1: be at Bally's in Tahoe this weekend. I think it's
Speaker 1: pretty much sold out, and then next weekend we'll be
Speaker 1: Salt Lake City. Two shows in Boulder, one show added
Speaker 1: on June eighth at the Boulder Theater. Calm on down,
Speaker 1: It's gonna be so much fun, and I'll see there, Delbika,
Speaker 1: and listen to my song some Day You'll Die, watch
Speaker 1: my special Some Dale'll Die, watch the Roast of Tom Brady,
Speaker 1: and look at my new peda ad and don't eat animals,
Speaker 1: all right, don't be ka Bye