1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,560 Speaker 1: Let's go buckle up, hold on tight. We got it 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:06,360 Speaker 1: for you here it is go Berry letter subject so 3 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:10,960 Speaker 1: you're the only one that can cheat. Dear Stephen Shirley. 4 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 1: I have known my partner for five years and we 5 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: have a child together. In the beginning, my partner cheated 6 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,759 Speaker 1: on me multiple times and I was very hurt, but 7 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: I loved him and wanted to move forward with the relationship. 8 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 1: Everything was fine for four years, and then our relationship 9 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,960 Speaker 1: got stale and we started arguing a lot, so we 10 00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,519 Speaker 1: mutually decided to take a break from each other for 11 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:37,200 Speaker 1: a little while. We talked about dating other people while 12 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:39,880 Speaker 1: we were on our break, and we decided that seeing 13 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,199 Speaker 1: other people was not our primary focus for the breakup. 14 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:46,559 Speaker 1: The breakup was for us to work on ourselves and 15 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,880 Speaker 1: then come back together to be a real family. Well, 16 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:52,519 Speaker 1: not long after the breakup, I had sex with an 17 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: old friend. I told my ex about it because I 18 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: felt like open communication was beneficial for us. It did 19 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: not go as planned, and now he is furious with me. 20 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,039 Speaker 1: He said this was the worst thing I could have 21 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:08,959 Speaker 1: done to him. I understand that he was hurt, but 22 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 1: how could he be this mad about it? I forgive 23 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,880 Speaker 1: I forgave him for cheating on me numerous times, but 24 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 1: he said he does not want anything to do with 25 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: me ever. Again, he says, besides us doing the necessary 26 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:26,960 Speaker 1: things for our child, I am dead to him. This 27 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:31,119 Speaker 1: is an awful double standard. I am not a cheater. 28 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: This happened after we broke up. I'm sure he has 29 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: had sex since our breakup, but there is nothing I 30 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: can do about it. So why can't he forgive me? 31 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 1: Am I wrong? Stephen Shirley? Please help me figure this out? Mmmmmm. 32 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: You might think this is an awful double standard, like 33 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: you say, but nonetheless it is a double standard. We 34 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: just simply can't do what they do. It's some sort 35 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: of unwritten rule. We forgive, we take them back and 36 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:05,040 Speaker 1: all that. But very very very rarely do they take 37 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: us back after cheating, Okay, very rarely. And for you 38 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: to so boldly sit him down and tell him that 39 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: you cheated and you know, expect him to take you 40 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 1: back because you took him back when he it just 41 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 1: doesn't work like that. So you know now you can 42 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: that's how it goes. Okay, you want us to help 43 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,080 Speaker 1: you figure it out? That's what it is. We can't 44 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 1: do what they do. We just can't since for as 45 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: long as we can remember, that's been the double standard. 46 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: So you got to face the music. I'm sorry. This 47 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 1: relationship is pretty much over. Yeah, you guys were broken 48 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:44,520 Speaker 1: up and all of that, you know, so technically you 49 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,680 Speaker 1: would think that since you're technically broken up, that you 50 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 1: could go on out there and do that, but nope, 51 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 1: it just doesn't work like that. If you did it, 52 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:54,799 Speaker 1: you shouldn't have told him you did it. I know, 53 00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:57,040 Speaker 1: you know you want to be honest and all of that, 54 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,200 Speaker 1: but he's just not going to take it well. As 55 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,120 Speaker 1: you can see, this man said you're dead to him. 56 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: You're dead to him, all right. He says he doesn't 57 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 1: want to have anything to do with you ever again. 58 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: So I mean, what more do you need. It doesn't 59 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: sound like he's taking you back. It doesn't sound like 60 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:18,200 Speaker 1: there's anything you do you can do to get him 61 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 1: to take you back. I suggest you know, you look 62 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: at this like what it is. You guys have broken 63 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:26,640 Speaker 1: up for good, and like he said, figure out a 64 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: way to take care of the kid together, co parenting 65 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,239 Speaker 1: and all of that, because it doesn't look like he's 66 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: going to take you back anytime soon. You're gonna have 67 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 1: to move on. Steve Well, I count it almost twenty 68 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: two lines in this letter exactly, almost exactly halfway through, 69 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 1: we find out who's wrong. Yes, I'm talking about exactly 70 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 1: half with dog on it Lyne eleven, he's about twenty 71 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 1: two lines in this letter's about maybe twenty three, but 72 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: exactly at nine eleven, halfway through your typing, we find 73 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 1: out what's wrong. You've known your partner for five years. 74 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:12,640 Speaker 1: Y'all got a child together. In the beginning, your partner 75 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 1: cheated on you several times. You was hurt, but I 76 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,479 Speaker 1: loved him and I wanted to move forward. Everything was 77 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,360 Speaker 1: fine for four years. Then our relationship got still. We 78 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: started arguing a lot. We decided to take a break 79 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 1: from each other for a little while. We talked about 80 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,320 Speaker 1: dating other people while we were on our break, and 81 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:36,240 Speaker 1: we decided to seeing other people was not our primary 82 00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: focus of the breakup. That the breakup was for us 83 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,039 Speaker 1: to work on ourselves and come back together and be 84 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: a real family. Ready Break, That's the play. We run 85 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: it Ready break on three one two three break Well. 86 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:57,360 Speaker 1: Not long after the breakup, I had sex with an 87 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:02,680 Speaker 1: old friend. We're on Lyney. Ever now I had sex 88 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:09,119 Speaker 1: with an old friend. And I understand, sister, I really 89 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 1: do you want a break? You know he's been arguing, 90 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:22,240 Speaker 1: strained on the relationship tension. Nothing better for tension than 91 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:27,600 Speaker 1: a tension breaker. So you broke the tension with an 92 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 1: old friend, had sex with him. Everything was okay. I 93 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:35,279 Speaker 1: ain't even gonna lie to you. Good. Right after you 94 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:40,720 Speaker 1: had sex with him, I told my ex about it 95 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: because I felt like open communication was been official for us. 96 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 1: You stupid, Let's just be real. This is the stupidest 97 00:05:56,040 --> 00:06:00,159 Speaker 1: thing you could have done. Listen, ladies, let me up. 98 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:06,040 Speaker 1: Y'all understand something with men. Don't don't do that again. 99 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: Don't don't do that. Don't come to us with this 100 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:17,840 Speaker 1: speech right here. You know, well, I told my ex 101 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 1: cause I felt like open communication was beneficial to us. 102 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: What you told him? What you have sex with old friend. 103 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:35,320 Speaker 1: He didn't find out you told him. Oh God, you 104 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:41,960 Speaker 1: crush stupid, stupid on so many levels. And see, ladies, 105 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 1: y'all listening to this, This is when you have to 106 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: lie me and been doing this since the beginning of 107 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: the time. This ain't the time for the truth. This 108 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 1: the time for a lie. Who don't see this appropriate 109 00:06:54,640 --> 00:07:00,160 Speaker 1: line time I see Jesus, and surely don't even like 110 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:03,080 Speaker 1: I ain't got no problem. I snapped it off so fast, 111 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: I haven't seen anybody, no nobody. What about your old friend? 112 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: Don't have no nosre? Oh my friend died. All right, 113 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: we're gonna come back and have part two of Steve's 114 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:22,880 Speaker 1: responded eight at twenty three after the hour. The subject 115 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: for today's letter is so you think you're the only 116 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:30,560 Speaker 1: one that can cheat? This is crazy, real simple recap. 117 00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:33,400 Speaker 1: Lady been with a man five years, they got a baby. 118 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 1: He cheated on them several times, but she worked it out. 119 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 1: Then four years later they started arguing all the time. 120 00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: They decided to take a break from each other and 121 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: decided that they would not have date outside. Just gets 122 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 1: some time for them to be learning themselves and come 123 00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 1: back together as a real family. While they was on 124 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: the break, crazy he'll has sex with an old friend 125 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 1: of hers, And I called her crazy because right after 126 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 1: she had sex with the old friend, her crazy ass 127 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: when they had told his food and then whole reason 128 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: it was because and listen to this, because I felt 129 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:16,160 Speaker 1: like open communication was beneficial for us. Next state three 130 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 1: statements in the row. Watch this one. I had sex 131 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 1: with an old friend. That's a crazy statement. I wouldn't 132 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,960 Speaker 1: even type that. Yeah, I'm not calling straw bed letter. 133 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 1: I'm not going to have therapy nothing. I'm gonna take 134 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:33,240 Speaker 1: this to my grade. But guess what she did that 135 00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 1: she had sex. She told her boyfriend body that was stupid. 136 00:08:40,040 --> 00:08:42,760 Speaker 1: Here go to third stupid thing. Because I felt like 137 00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:51,440 Speaker 1: over communication was beneficial for us. That was stupid. This 138 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 1: this the next stupid thing. It did not go as planned. 139 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,599 Speaker 1: Here go another obvious and now he furious with me. 140 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: Really wonder what because you ran in that run in 141 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: your mouth. He said it was the worst thing I 142 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 1: could have done to him. That's the truth. You can 143 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 1: do a lot of things to us ladies. What you 144 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:23,559 Speaker 1: cannot do. You can't break off that cookie and give 145 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:28,800 Speaker 1: it to nobody else. I don't give what. How are 146 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:33,360 Speaker 1: you about it? Don't take that nowhere? Else? What? What? 147 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: How that together? I don't know. I'm just trying to 148 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: use extreme things I could have did. That's to make 149 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,719 Speaker 1: you try to get back at me. Oh, I can 150 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 1: whip your little brother's ass in front of y'all at Thanksgiving. 151 00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:52,400 Speaker 1: Don't take this cookie, break off a piece and get 152 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 1: it to nobody. He said, that's the worst thing you 153 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 1: could have done to him. She's done to him, But 154 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 1: she said, and I understand he hurt. No, you don't. 155 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 1: Did he come here? Come another stupid statement? But how 156 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 1: come heat is mad about it? What we're talking about? Cookie? 157 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 1: Are you crazy? I forgave him for cheating on me 158 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 1: numerous times, but he said he don't want anything to 159 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,959 Speaker 1: do with me ever again. He said, besides us doing 160 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:29,440 Speaker 1: necessary thing for our child, I am dead to him. 161 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:34,720 Speaker 1: Whoa he yeah. When a man tell you that, ain't 162 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:38,280 Speaker 1: no coming back from that, you know why because we're 163 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: not Jesus. Only Jesus raised it dead. We don't raise 164 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,000 Speaker 1: dead people. We don't walk on water. And we show 165 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: ain't got no two fish feeding five thousand people. I 166 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 1: get two pieces of fish at a long y'allhood, I 167 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: go and still be hunger and he will be hung 168 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:05,880 Speaker 1: out that corner, that ball. I'm just trying to tell 169 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: you you ain't David christ So I don't know what 170 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:14,439 Speaker 1: you expected. We don't do miracles. Once you dad to us, 171 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 1: you dad, yeah, and you ain't last. It's over, you say, East, 172 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 1: you get to roll the stone away. You come back 173 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 1: on the third day, you ain't coming back. This is 174 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 1: an awful double standard. And it's a double standard that 175 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:33,640 Speaker 1: he didn't create. This double standard, like Shirley said, been 176 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:37,120 Speaker 1: going on since the beginning of time. I'm neither Cheatah, 177 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 1: this happened after we broke up. What y'all broke up, 178 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,320 Speaker 1: y'all said, y'all wasn't gonna see nobody. As soon as 179 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,440 Speaker 1: y'all break up, you're gonna sleep with an old friend. 180 00:11:47,559 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 1: You just said, y'all wasn't gonna see nobody. Yeah, ain't 181 00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 1: nothing I could do about it. So why can't he 182 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 1: forgive me? Because he a man? And we tripped like yeah, 183 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:05,520 Speaker 1: because we ain't made right, We ain't wrapped tight. That's 184 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 1: the way it is. Am I wrong? Now? You're not 185 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: wrong for feeling what you're feeling, But he ain't wrong either, 186 00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: And there lies the problem. And I don't know why 187 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: you're still type because you're supposed to be dead. I 188 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: thought the letter would have been over right after she 189 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,320 Speaker 1: said I'm dead to him. I don't know what ghosts 190 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:30,400 Speaker 1: type the rest of it. Why can't you forgive me? 191 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: Because him? Man? Am I wrong? Now? You ain't wrong? 192 00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,240 Speaker 1: Stephen Shelley, Please help me figure this out. It ain't 193 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 1: nothing to figure. You ain't got to figure nothing because 194 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 1: you're dead. People don't fig it, Dad, People don't feeling 195 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 1: this ain't hidden. Figures ain't now. I'm just gonna go 196 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 1: to heaven for forgiveness. To gon go to heaven. You 197 00:12:53,679 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 1: is dead to me, Oh God, Steve sitting up in hell. 198 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 1: Joe crazy itself, This ignorant letter, It's all could have 199 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 1: been avoided with just a lie. What y'all always talking about? 200 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 1: You would rather know the truth, Well we don't. That's y'all. 201 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,320 Speaker 1: You ain't never heard a man say, well, I'd rather 202 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,520 Speaker 1: know the truth. You ain't never heard of to keep 203 00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:32,160 Speaker 1: a secret. Hell, I got some some things out and 204 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 1: did in my sixty two years. That's going to the grave, 205 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:41,160 Speaker 1: to the grave supposed to it's going. Yeah, we're not 206 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 1: fitting to brain this up. I've asked the Lord for forgiveness. 207 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,640 Speaker 1: He gave it to me. I'm not an explaining sitting 208 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 1: on nobody couch. You ain't write nothing on no legal 209 00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,520 Speaker 1: pay right. If you want to, I swear to God, 210 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:56,800 Speaker 1: I kill you. I'm already kill this lady. I kill 211 00:13:56,840 --> 00:14:01,240 Speaker 1: you too. This is not about you. Mad. If you 212 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 1: try to repeat some of the stuff out and do 213 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: it for time. I don't even want nobody. I don't 214 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: even I don't even want to open casting. When I've done, 215 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 1: you pitch up with me and check the things out. 216 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:16,000 Speaker 1: Told somebody to get the figure dang on his ass 217 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,440 Speaker 1: right there? All right, listen, we gotta get out of here. 218 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 1: Email us our Instagram us your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. 219 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:26,240 Speaker 1: At Steve Harvey FM. You're listening to the Steve Harvey 220 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:26,880 Speaker 1: Morning Show.