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Speaker 1: All right time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more.

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Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. It could be yours.

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Speaker 1: You never know, you never know. Buckle up and hold

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Speaker 1: on tight. We got it. Fight you here. It is

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter subject, What's the rush? Dear Stephen Shirley. I've

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Speaker 1: been with the same man for eleven years, and he

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Speaker 1: asked me to marry him four years ago. Now, all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden, he wants to set a wedding date,

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Speaker 1: but I do not want to. I met him in college,

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Speaker 1: and I thought we were destined to have a great

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Speaker 1: love story. I was twenty and he was twenty two,

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Speaker 1: and our chemistry was amazing. When I was twenty two,

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Speaker 1: I got pregnant and we moved in together. I got

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Speaker 1: a job while he got his master's degree, and he

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Speaker 1: told me soon as he finished his degree he was

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Speaker 1: going to make me his wife. On his graduation night.

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Speaker 1: I got pregnant again. He got a really good job,

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Speaker 1: and I started teaching school. I fell in love with

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Speaker 1: my job and raising our children, so I didn't really

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Speaker 1: realize that I was playing house and this man did

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Speaker 1: not plan to marry me. I wanted to stay with

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Speaker 1: my mother for a while so I could clear my head.

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Speaker 1: He begged me to come back home and he promised

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Speaker 1: that he was about to propose. Years passed by and

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Speaker 1: he didn't. His father overheard us bussing one day and

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Speaker 1: he advised his son to either marry me or let

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Speaker 1: me go. A few weeks later, he asked me to

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Speaker 1: be his wife. That was four years ago, and I

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Speaker 1: was ready to do it right then he kept stalling

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Speaker 1: and asking me what's the rush? Bye? And moved past it.

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Speaker 1: Now for the marriage and I don't want him anymore.

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Speaker 1: I don't even wear my ring and he hasn't noticed.

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Speaker 1: He invited my mother over last weekend to talk about

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Speaker 1: wedding dates and I was checked out of the conversation.

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Speaker 1: When my mother left, I asked him, what's the rush?

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Speaker 1: He hasn't spoken to me and over a week because

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Speaker 1: of my attitude? How can I not be allowed to

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Speaker 1: have an attitude? Should I give the ring back or

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Speaker 1: move on? Or should I marry an old friend and

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Speaker 1: maybe day that I don't love anymore. Please don't do

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Speaker 1: that if that's the truth. I mean, why would you

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Speaker 1: marry someone that you don't love anymore? That makes about

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Speaker 1: as much sense as him walking around for more than

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Speaker 1: a week not talking to you because you said to him,

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Speaker 1: what's the rush? The man is too immature for you.

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Speaker 1: I think you have to let him. You know. I

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Speaker 1: kind of blame it on you a little bit because

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Speaker 1: you've let him get away with too much stuff in

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Speaker 1: this relationship. He's not kept his word on anything. And

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Speaker 1: where does he think you got what's it's the rush from?

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Speaker 1: You got it from him. He said it to you first,

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Speaker 1: I mean, to the real red flag. And it's a

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Speaker 1: glimpse into what marriage might be like with this man.

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Speaker 1: I mean, this entire letter is about your lives together.

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Speaker 1: Since you were twenty and twenty two years old, the

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Speaker 1: main thing you wanted was to marry this man. He

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Speaker 1: kept putting it off because there was no incentive to

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Speaker 1: marry you. You already had the babies early on, you

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Speaker 1: were living together. He had what he wanted right there,

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Speaker 1: without the benefit of marriage. And now he sees you've changed,

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Speaker 1: so he's trying to step up, but it's too late.

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Speaker 1: You're over it. You say, it's at least the marriage part.

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Speaker 1: I mean. The sad thing is you guys do have

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Speaker 1: two children, so you have to talk to each other.

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Speaker 1: You got to communicate. I mean, I think this fairy

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Speaker 1: tale you have, of this great love story you want it,

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Speaker 1: I think that's over. The reality is eleven years later,

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Speaker 1: you're miserable, you're ready to walk, and you're writing us.

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Speaker 1: I say, go in pe knowing that you dodged a

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Speaker 1: bullet from not marrying this guy. After all these years,

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Speaker 1: I think you should get your child support and move on.

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Speaker 1: When you do fall in love again with the right

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Speaker 1: man the next time. When he proposed a set of date,

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Speaker 1: start planning immediately. Okay, don't waste time, Steve. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: in two and a half minutes, this is what i'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do. And then in the second half, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: show you how this works. I'm gonna show you about

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Speaker 1: thirteen questionable statements in this letter. He asked me to

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Speaker 1: marry him four years ago. That's one, he wanted to

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Speaker 1: set a wedding date, but I do not. That's two

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Speaker 1: when I was twenty two, I got pregnant and we

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Speaker 1: moved in together. That's three. I got a job while

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Speaker 1: he got his master's degree and told me as soon

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Speaker 1: as he finished his degree, he was gonna make me

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Speaker 1: his wife. That's four. The fifth statement was I fell

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Speaker 1: in love with my job and raising our children, so

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize I was playing house and this man

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Speaker 1: did not plan to marry me. That's five. The next

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Speaker 1: statement was I trying and wanted to clear my head,

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Speaker 1: so I went to stay with my mama. He begged

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Speaker 1: me to come back, and now he promised that he

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Speaker 1: was going to about to propose. That's six years go buying.

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Speaker 1: His father overheard us fussing one day and he advised

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Speaker 1: his son either married me or let me go. That's seven.

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Speaker 1: That was four years ago. A week later, he asked

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Speaker 1: me to be his wife. That's eight. That was four

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Speaker 1: years ago, and I was ready to do it right

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Speaker 1: then he kept stalling and asking me, what's the rush.

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Speaker 1: That's nine. I cried and moved past it. Now I'm

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Speaker 1: over the marriage and I don't want him anymore. That's ten.

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Speaker 1: I don't wear my ring and he has a notice.

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Speaker 1: That's eleven. He invited his mother over my mother over

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Speaker 1: last weekend to discuss wedding dates. I was checked out

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Speaker 1: of the conversation. When my mother left, I asked you,

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Speaker 1: what was it? Rush? That's twelve? He has an He

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Speaker 1: hasn't spoken to me in over a week because of

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Speaker 1: my attitude? So how can I not be allowed to

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Speaker 1: have an attitude? Should I give the ring back and

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Speaker 1: move on? Or should I marry an old friend and

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Speaker 1: baby daddy that I don't love anymore? That's thirteen in

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Speaker 1: a one page age letter. I just read to you,

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Speaker 1: thirteen very questionable statements. Do this sound like marriage to you?

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Speaker 1: Not at all? If you don't love somebody, I can

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Speaker 1: promise your marriage is out of the question, right, because

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Speaker 1: you're gonna need that mode And money, because I'm telling you, man,

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Speaker 1: money don't keep a relationship together. Love can overcome a

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Speaker 1: multitude of sins, but if you ain't in love, it's

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Speaker 1: no way you can get married and stay married. All right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: hang on, we're waiting for part two of your response.

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Speaker 1: Come on, all right, title of this strawberry letter? What's

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Speaker 1: the rush? We'll find out more when we come back. Right,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to show? All right? Come on, Steve, let's

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Speaker 1: recap today's strawberry letter the sub what's the rush? We

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Speaker 1: just went through this letter about all these reasons that

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Speaker 1: this woman don't need to marry this man. I gave

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Speaker 1: you thirteen questionable statements. At the end of the letter,

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Speaker 1: this lady just said, should I marry an old friend

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Speaker 1: and baby daddy that I don't love anymore? They've been

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Speaker 1: together for eleven years, and he'd been lying about getting married,

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Speaker 1: stalled and putting it all, making false promises over and

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Speaker 1: over and over and over. This man, you realize, after

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Speaker 1: you had two children and found a school teaching job

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Speaker 1: you love, that this man was just playing house and

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Speaker 1: did not pretend he didn't even want to get married.

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Speaker 1: Because I've told you all, ladies about this. The wedding

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Speaker 1: day may be the day of your dream, but the

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Speaker 1: man does not have a wedding day as the day

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Speaker 1: of his dream. We only dream of the chick of

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Speaker 1: our dream. And if we can get you without the day,

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Speaker 1: what's the rush? And he just proved what I've been

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Speaker 1: saying for years, so he has you. What's the rush? Ladies?

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Speaker 1: This is what I want to do. Caller Shirley, let

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Speaker 1: me have your undervited attention. Please, we're going to do

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Speaker 1: a reenactment. I am gonna be mister horster rush. I

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Speaker 1: don't care what you ask me. I'm gonna find a

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Speaker 1: way not to get married. You can make it sound

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Speaker 1: as wonderful as you like. Just make a statement, and

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Speaker 1: I am the person that don't want to get married,

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Speaker 1: and I would give you reasons why we can't get married.

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Speaker 1: You don't have to worry about this letter, Shirley and caller.

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Speaker 1: You can ask me anything you want, any happy remark

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Speaker 1: about the wedding day, about what your plans are. You

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Speaker 1: can do anything, and I'll just tell you why we

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Speaker 1: can't do it. Ready, said he It is, honey, I

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Speaker 1: just got my wedding dress. I'm so excited. Oh man,

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Speaker 1: that's real nice man, weding dresses is They're so nice,

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Speaker 1: you know, But you know, spending all that money for

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Speaker 1: what you know what I mean a dress? You ain't

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Speaker 1: got no dresses? What guess what? My friend is getting

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Speaker 1: married and I just got her save the date in

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Speaker 1: the mail, the invitation to save the date. I'm so

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Speaker 1: excited wait to go to her wedding. That's cool. I

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Speaker 1: can't wait to go to her wear either say that date?

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Speaker 1: So what yeah, yeah, let's say that date. That's beautiful, man,

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Speaker 1: that's good. I'm with that man. So down, baby, Marcus

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Speaker 1: day down, Yeah, I got it her sixteen, Yeah it down,

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Speaker 1: got it December sixteen, Special days when we gonna go shopping?

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Speaker 1: And what we gonna wear? Oh, we can wear all that, baby, baby, Babe.

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Speaker 1: What you want to win? Anything you want to? You

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Speaker 1: know you anything you want. Honey, I'm pregnant again. Man

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Speaker 1: as well making an honest me. You pregnant again, might

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Speaker 1: as well make a hort an honest woman out of me.

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Speaker 1: Marry me, baby, baby. One of the main characteristics that

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Speaker 1: I love about you is your honesty. I don't you

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Speaker 1: know you've been honest with me the whole time. But

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Speaker 1: how you are that's the beautiful thing. But you're already

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Speaker 1: an honest person, baby. You need all that to prove

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Speaker 1: to somebody you an honest woman. You know you've already

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Speaker 1: had the baby. You don't done all the tricky stuff anyway.

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Speaker 1: Ain'tbody's gonna believe you honest, nor horn You know you

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Speaker 1: know you can shut up here and done all this here.

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Speaker 1: Now you want somebody believe you honest? You know like

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Speaker 1: you're honest, what you know, we'd have done the dude,

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Speaker 1: now you know baby coming everybody know you wouldn't all

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Speaker 1: that honest, ain't know what it needs, you know, you know,

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Speaker 1: you know you know, but let's seal the deal. Let's

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Speaker 1: seal the deal. Seeing that right there? See that sounds

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Speaker 1: like stealing. You know you don't be talking to talking

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Speaker 1: to Lord about stuff like that. You know we're gonna

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Speaker 1: seal a deal. That's what. That's why I love the

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Speaker 1: church I go to, you know, because they try to

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Speaker 1: keep seeing free. You know. Now we've already been in

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Speaker 1: seeing been made, you know, have come you know, you know,

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Speaker 1: copatulating in all this before, Madge. Now all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: you know you wanna go see all the deal, you know,

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Speaker 1: just like go to hell. You know, I don't make

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Speaker 1: no sense calling all right. So we've been talking all

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Speaker 1: the stuff about wedding. When are we gonna set our day?

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Speaker 1: Because I had some dates in mind. So do you

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Speaker 1: want a summer wedding, Christmas winter wedding? Yeah? I was

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Speaker 1: thinking more like a leap year wedding. I love it.

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Speaker 1: I love that long. But see that'd be good then,

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Speaker 1: you know, because you know, give us time to playing

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Speaker 1: and everything like that. So that's the date I'm looking

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Speaker 1: forward to next time we have leap yea, yeah, go ahead. Well, honey,

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Speaker 1: I talked to the pastor and he said he's ready

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Speaker 1: and all we have to do is get back with

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Speaker 1: him and let him know when we're ready. So he's

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Speaker 1: set to officiate our ceremony. And I'm just so excited,

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Speaker 1: you know how much. Well that's all good, but I

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Speaker 1: just changed churches as we Yeah, so we don't even

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Speaker 1: go there, no more. We Dad, ain't you my past

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Speaker 1: and no more. So we gotta line. We gotta get

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Speaker 1: on this new past, this list. Go ahead, Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: gotta started this process over. We don't even go there,

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Speaker 1: no more. Go ahead. You want to go to Vegas?

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Speaker 1: We could just go to Vegas. Hell, yeah, I want

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Speaker 1: to go to Vegas. Man, who, Okay, let's go to Vegas.

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Speaker 1: But you know what they say, what happens in Vegas

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Speaker 1: stays in Vegas. He no needs us trying to come

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Speaker 1: back with no happy as news. Honey, I'm so happy.

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Speaker 1: Dad was ill, you know, he was sick, but he's

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Speaker 1: better now. And he said he will walk down the aisle.

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Speaker 1: He's ready, Yeah, he's gonna walk me down. Dad, My dad, Dad, Baby,

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Speaker 1: You're sick hands daddy. You think I'm gonna be standing

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Speaker 1: up there and watch something happened to him on his

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Speaker 1: way down the e We get the call out and

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Speaker 1: not even do that. Your dad ain't in no shape walk,

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Speaker 1: got no damn you're listening to show