1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,080 Speaker 1: Hey, fam, Hello Sunshine. Today. 2 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:07,280 Speaker 2: On the bright Side, you're gonna want to swipe right 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,640 Speaker 2: on this conversation because we're joined by the founder and 4 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 2: executive chair of the wildly popular dating app Bumble. 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:16,320 Speaker 1: She's also the founder of Tinder. 6 00:00:16,400 --> 00:00:19,040 Speaker 2: Whitney wolf Heard is here and she's talking about adapting 7 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 2: dating apps for the future, and she's giving you insider 8 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 2: tips on everything you need to know to create the 9 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:30,200 Speaker 2: perfect dating profile. It's Thursday, January ninth. I'm Danielle Robe. 10 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:32,760 Speaker 3: And I'm Simone Boyce and this is the bright Side 11 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 3: from Hello Sunshine. 12 00:00:36,159 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 2: For over ten years, our guest today has had her 13 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,320 Speaker 2: finger on the pulse of online dating and honestly, she's 14 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 2: played stupid for many millennials. Whitney wolf Heard is the 15 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:49,320 Speaker 2: founder of dating apps Tinder and Bumble. Now I've dabbled 16 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,959 Speaker 2: in dating apps. You all know that, but it can 17 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,240 Speaker 2: be kind of overwhelming. 18 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 3: Okay, tell me everything, because I've never really been on 19 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,680 Speaker 3: dating apps. Like, I got married before the dating apps 20 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 3: came out. So what is it like on there? 21 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:04,440 Speaker 1: It is the wild wild West, Simon. 22 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,200 Speaker 2: Now listen, I know a lot of people have had 23 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 2: a lot of success on apps. I personally am such 24 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 2: an in person person that it's tough for me. It's 25 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 2: hard for me to like read energy via the phone. 26 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 2: I also am not a great texter, Like texting overwhelms me. 27 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 2: I just don't love being on my phone, and so 28 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 2: dating apps feel like an extension of more texting, more 29 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,280 Speaker 2: pen pals, and I just I don't know, it's never 30 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 2: been my thing. 31 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 3: So how far have you gotten with the dating app? Like, 32 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:38,959 Speaker 3: have you you've gone on dates? 33 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: I'm sure? 34 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 4: Yeah? Has anything more come of it? 35 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 1: Like how promising was it? 36 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 2: I met one of my ex boyfriends on a dating 37 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 2: app and we dated for two years. But we did 38 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:54,040 Speaker 2: have mutual friends who also like outside of the app 39 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 2: put us together. 40 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: So I don't know, it's just kind of hard. 41 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 2: I think when you meet someone out of nowhere, I 42 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:04,760 Speaker 2: don't know, maybe I have trust issues, But listen, I 43 00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 2: think dating apps are an amazing technology if you can 44 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 2: use them right and they don't overwhelm you. And I'm 45 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 2: always curious about what makes a good profile and what 46 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 2: dating trends are out there and what the research says 47 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 2: about the people using these apps. 48 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 3: Well, our guest today can lend so much insight into 49 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 3: this conversation. Absolutely Whitney wolf Heard is literally the woman 50 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 3: who came up with the name for Tinder and Bumble's 51 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 3: signature concept the company that she founded after co founding Tinder, 52 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 3: and she's the one who came up with this philosophy 53 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,160 Speaker 3: of allowing women to make the first move, which was huge. 54 00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:47,840 Speaker 2: Simone, it was revolutionary at the time. I know, in 55 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 2: twenty twenty five, we don't even think twice. But when 56 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,600 Speaker 2: she came out with that idea of women making the 57 00:02:54,639 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 2: first move, I actually think it was so much deeper 58 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 2: culturally because women have been going after everything they want. 59 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 1: We go after the jobs we want, we go. 60 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 2: After everything, and for some reason, we were still taking 61 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:11,639 Speaker 2: a backseat in romantic partnership. And I think that Bumble 62 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 2: was on the very cusp of women going after romantic partnership, 63 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,800 Speaker 2: of saying hello first, of making the first move, And 64 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 2: to me, that is what I've always been just enamored by. 65 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 2: With Whitney, I think she's the master of understanding what 66 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,960 Speaker 2: users want and where culture is going. Well. 67 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 3: It also shows just how vast this male default setting 68 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 3: is in our society, like the fact that all the 69 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:44,680 Speaker 3: dating apps before Bumble, it was always the man making 70 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 3: the first move right, and how much does that reflect 71 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 3: what happens in our world every single day, Like the 72 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 3: default is always male, and it's always to accommodate men. 73 00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,360 Speaker 3: So it's just a reminder of like how much of 74 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 3: our world is oriented around men and their desires. 75 00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 2: Well said, And I also think that part of it 76 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 2: was inspired by Whitney's own experience. 77 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I mean in twenty fourteen, this was before 78 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 3: the height of the Me too movement, Whitney left Tinder, 79 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,719 Speaker 3: which was the company that she helped found, and she 80 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 3: sued the founders for sexual harassment, and at the time 81 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,159 Speaker 3: she faced a lot of criticism in the public eye. 82 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 3: But I mean just a true lesson in resilience here. 83 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 3: She went on to found Bumble that same year. 84 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 2: Okay, I think we have to actually break that down 85 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 2: for a second, because that part was super deep. I 86 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:44,720 Speaker 2: remember being in college when Tinder was founded, and it 87 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 2: was all over our college campus at Madison, Wisconsin. There 88 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 2: were kids who were like Tinder reps. They had Tinder 89 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:55,160 Speaker 2: backpacks and Tinder water bottles and they were trying to 90 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,440 Speaker 2: get everybody to sign up. My friend Chloe was one 91 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:00,280 Speaker 2: of these reps, okay, and she was from La and 92 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 2: these founders were from la and when all of this 93 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,839 Speaker 2: went down, because Whitney was dating one of the founders, 94 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 2: she happened to be dating one of them, and when 95 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 2: all of this went down, they besmirched her publicly. I 96 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 2: can't even imagine what she was going through privately, because 97 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:19,960 Speaker 2: the public. 98 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 1: Ridicule was awful. 99 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,560 Speaker 2: I remember thinking to myself, like, this is so brutal, 100 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 2: the names, the sexist, misogynistic names they were calling her, 101 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 2: and everyone thought that she would never work again, and 102 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,919 Speaker 2: she was so young at the time. And then she 103 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 2: started Bumble and it became more successful than Tinder, and 104 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:44,000 Speaker 2: so her story was so inspiring to me because the 105 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:48,159 Speaker 2: misogyny ran so deep, and yet she proved everybody wrong 106 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,000 Speaker 2: and everyone thought, ooh, maybe she was the brains of 107 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:53,560 Speaker 2: the operation at Tinder more than everybody thought. I'm just 108 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,720 Speaker 2: I'm really inspired by her resilience. 109 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 3: She is such an inspiring entrepreneur, and I'm really curious 110 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,359 Speaker 3: to hear her thoughts on the dating landscape today because 111 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 3: I know that they've been working on some groundbreaking research 112 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,599 Speaker 3: over at Bumble on the state of modern relationships and dating. 113 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,359 Speaker 3: So let's go ahead and get into it. Whitney Wolford, 114 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:14,799 Speaker 3: Welcome to the bright side. 115 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: Thanks for having me, Thanks for joining us. 116 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,520 Speaker 3: Whitney, Bumble was really centered around this idea that women 117 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,520 Speaker 3: would make the first move, which was so revolutionary at 118 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 3: the time. 119 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 1: Why was that important to you? 120 00:06:28,440 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 5: I really felt that we've all been raised with very 121 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 5: ingrained gender dynamics around connection and love, for women to 122 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 5: never go first in love, to always wait and to 123 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 5: be chased and to be pursued. And yet this conflicted 124 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:50,520 Speaker 5: with what we were being told to do in the 125 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 5: rest of our lives. To your point, which was go 126 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 5: out there, make the life of your dreams, make the 127 00:06:56,560 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 5: first move in these other areas of your life, be successful. 128 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 4: Be independent. 129 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,280 Speaker 5: But when it came to love, which is actually the 130 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 5: center of our lives, whether it's romantic love or platonic love, 131 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,640 Speaker 5: we're meant to play this entirely different role. And I 132 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 5: really felt like it all started at hello, Like who 133 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 5: is given permission culturally to go first? That was really 134 00:07:21,640 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 5: where Bumble started, was really giving women an agency to 135 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 5: go first in their relationships and connections. And so for me, 136 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 5: when I reflect on my career, on my life with 137 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:36,880 Speaker 5: my family, even on my health, like had I not 138 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 5: made those first moves, I wouldn't have the life I 139 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:44,119 Speaker 5: have today, and so many of us are just told 140 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 5: to wait for things to fall into our laps, and 141 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 5: that's just not the way the universe works. 142 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: Whitney. 143 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 2: I've been following your story since you helped start Tinder 144 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 2: in twenty twelve, and I know you went through a 145 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 2: really difficult period after you left the company. You ended 146 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 2: up sue Tinder for sexual harassment and discrimination, and you 147 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:06,760 Speaker 2: face a lot of very public scrutiny because of it, 148 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:10,440 Speaker 2: like very public scrutiny, But the end of your story 149 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 2: at Tinder became the beginning of your story at Bumble, 150 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 2: and I'm curious what the catalyst moment was for you 151 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 2: that turned all that doubt and anger into such resilience, 152 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,200 Speaker 2: and I think that we see that resilience as a 153 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 2: through line in your story today. 154 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 5: I would say that there was a very pivotal moment 155 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:33,439 Speaker 5: and I remember it extremely clearly, even to this day. 156 00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:37,200 Speaker 5: So when I left Tinder, this is twenty fourteen, so 157 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 5: pre me too, This is pre times up. Yeah, this 158 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:46,320 Speaker 5: is free, this open conversation around online abuse, and Whitney, 159 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,200 Speaker 5: to your point, I don't want to interrupt you, but 160 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,200 Speaker 5: I do think that part is so important because a 161 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 5: lot of women that came out against men pre me too, 162 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 5: were really seen as the problem, and so I think 163 00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 5: that adds like a whole layer of resilience to your story. 164 00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 5: It was extremely scary because I was sort of ostracized, 165 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,959 Speaker 5: And when I say ostracized, I don't mean just by 166 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 5: the people involved, like even people I went to college with. 167 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 5: You know, they were judging me and assuming that I was, 168 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 5: you know, some vixen. 169 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,080 Speaker 4: And I was in a complete state of depression. I was. 170 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 5: You have to remember I was twenty four years old, 171 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 5: which in hindsight is like a baby. 172 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:33,560 Speaker 4: Right baby. 173 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 5: There was all sorts of terrible articles being written about me, 174 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 5: speculating about what my motives were and what my agenda was. 175 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,840 Speaker 4: The Internet was calling me terrible names. 176 00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:45,760 Speaker 5: I was getting death threats, and I couldn't turn it off, 177 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 5: like I was addicted to refreshing the like the dms 178 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 5: and the tweets. I had literally what they describe as 179 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 5: an epiphany, like I don't even think it was me. 180 00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 4: It was like something. 181 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 5: Came through me and it all just in a matter 182 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:05,080 Speaker 5: of moments made sense. I was like, oh my god, 183 00:10:05,679 --> 00:10:07,640 Speaker 5: if this is what's happening to me at twenty four. 184 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:11,240 Speaker 5: This is happening at scale, and not just women, everyone. 185 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 4: This is so dangerous if. 186 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:15,760 Speaker 5: I'm feeling the feelings I'm feeling, and I'm in a 187 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 5: safe home and I have at the time a loving boyfriend, 188 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,800 Speaker 5: and I have family that cares about me. Like, what 189 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:24,480 Speaker 5: is the thirteen year old going through who cannot escape 190 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,079 Speaker 5: bullying once she'd leave school? And I had this moment 191 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,880 Speaker 5: where I said, oh my god, when I was getting 192 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,880 Speaker 5: bullied in elementary school, my mom would pick me up, 193 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:34,800 Speaker 5: we'd get an ice cream cone, and I was safe 194 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 5: until the next day. Right, But this was like a 195 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:41,840 Speaker 5: permanent playground of hell for everyone. And so I just 196 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 5: had this moment where I was like, I'm going to 197 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 5: solve this. I'm going to start the world's first positive 198 00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,079 Speaker 5: social network. 199 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:50,679 Speaker 4: I called it mayor Cy. 200 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 5: I designed this entire currency of compliments, and I figured, 201 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,240 Speaker 5: if we could get away from shaming one another to 202 00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 5: celebrating one another and supporting one another, perhaps we could 203 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:05,240 Speaker 5: use like digital behavior for good. And that was really 204 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:09,280 Speaker 5: like the very early early moment of what would then 205 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:11,200 Speaker 5: lead to the next step, to the next step, to 206 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 5: the next step that would eventually become bumble. 207 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 3: I'm curious how you pulled yourself out of that state 208 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:20,840 Speaker 3: of mind where you were dealing with just the relentless 209 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:25,600 Speaker 3: onslot of negativity and toxicity. How did you get from 210 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 3: that state of despair into that energizing place of I 211 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:29,800 Speaker 3: have an idea. 212 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 4: Well, when you're on the bottom, there's nowhere else to 213 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:32,720 Speaker 4: go but up. 214 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,720 Speaker 5: And I had hit the bottom, and I actually think 215 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:38,760 Speaker 5: there's a gift in hitting the bottom. At this point, 216 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:41,440 Speaker 5: my dignity had been stripped from me. What else did 217 00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,040 Speaker 5: I have to lose? Like my greatest fear how to 218 00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:47,560 Speaker 5: already come true? You know how they say people have 219 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 5: these like nightmares when they're young, about like being naked 220 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:54,079 Speaker 5: in the hallways in high school. I was that, but 221 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 5: on the global stage. So it's like, what else did 222 00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:01,120 Speaker 5: I have to lose? And I just thought about these 223 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,560 Speaker 5: thirteen year old girls around the world, and I was like, 224 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,840 Speaker 5: I'm going to do this for them if I have 225 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 5: the talent and the skills and the experience in the 226 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 5: tech industry. I felt like it was my duty to 227 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:18,600 Speaker 5: serve in a way that could prevent another woman from 228 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 5: feeling what I had felt. So I just took myself 229 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 5: out of it and was like, this is for the collective, 230 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:24,640 Speaker 5: this is no longer about me. 231 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,040 Speaker 3: We've got to take a quick break out, but we'll 232 00:12:28,040 --> 00:12:40,640 Speaker 3: be right back with Whitney. Wolf Heard, And we're back 233 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:43,559 Speaker 3: with Whitney. Wel heard, Whitney. 234 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,320 Speaker 2: I think one of the things that I feel taken 235 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:51,200 Speaker 2: with in how you've built your company is how you've 236 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 2: stayed so true to who you are as a founder 237 00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 2: throughout these last ten years, and the company stands for 238 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 2: so much more than just just love, which are important 239 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:06,000 Speaker 2: on its own. I'll never forget the New York Times 240 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:09,280 Speaker 2: ad that Bumble took out. It was a full page 241 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 2: ad in support of victims of sexual assault. I'm curious how, 242 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:17,080 Speaker 2: in these ten years, when the company has gotten so big, 243 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 2: how you've managed to scale kindness and scale agency and 244 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,720 Speaker 2: scale all of these ideals with it. 245 00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:28,480 Speaker 5: Well, I really appreciate that, and I'll be honest, we 246 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:31,720 Speaker 5: are certainly not perfect. But I'll use I guess a 247 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 5: metaphor and or analogy however you want to look at 248 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 5: this directionally, our compass has always been pointed in the 249 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:46,000 Speaker 5: direction of kindness, compassion, inspiration, trying to stand up for 250 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 5: the underdog, and that's where the. 251 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,000 Speaker 4: Direction has always been pointed. 252 00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:56,480 Speaker 5: You don't have to control everything that happens every single day, 253 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,400 Speaker 5: but you have to remember where you're going and why. 254 00:13:59,280 --> 00:13:59,760 Speaker 4: You're doing it. 255 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:03,880 Speaker 5: I think intention is the most important thing in the world. 256 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 5: And if you set the intention and you try to 257 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 5: remain rooted in that intention, no matter how rough or 258 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 5: rocky things get, like you kind of always come back 259 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:18,440 Speaker 5: to center. That's how you survive, and that's how you 260 00:14:18,559 --> 00:14:22,120 Speaker 5: keep the DNA alive. And also the faith because being 261 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:25,600 Speaker 5: part of a rep like with no faith and no hope, 262 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:29,320 Speaker 5: you've got nothing because you're actually writing on it ninety 263 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,160 Speaker 5: percent of the time. 264 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 4: That's literally what it's all about. 265 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:37,840 Speaker 3: Can you give us an example of when hope got 266 00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:40,640 Speaker 3: you through? Is there a story that comes to mind? 267 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,400 Speaker 4: Every day? Literally every single day. 268 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:48,240 Speaker 5: Being an entrepreneur is like this funny blend of like 269 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:54,320 Speaker 5: belief and like kind of closing your eyes and jumping 270 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,280 Speaker 5: and just like hoping for the best because you have 271 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 5: to have this psychotic belief in what you're doing. I 272 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 5: have just had this unbelievable obsessive belief, like true belief, 273 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 5: not fake belief, like genuine belief, like a knowing in 274 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 5: my soul that Bumble is going to outlive me. This mission, 275 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,640 Speaker 5: this purpose, this company is so much bigger than me. 276 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 5: And I don't even know why I feel that way, 277 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:20,840 Speaker 5: just feel it, and I think you have to be 278 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,120 Speaker 5: borderline crazy in your belief. 279 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:28,280 Speaker 3: Well, Whitney, we have been digging into the research that 280 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,400 Speaker 3: you're conducting over at Bumble, all about dating and relationships 281 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 3: in the modern age, and we wanted to ask you 282 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,520 Speaker 3: about some of the studies we came across, starting with 283 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,960 Speaker 3: a survey that found that a third of women said 284 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:43,080 Speaker 3: emotional intimacy was more important than sex. That's so fascinating. 285 00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 3: What do you make of that? 286 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 5: As we have become so connected online, we have actually 287 00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:55,080 Speaker 5: become very disconnected from both ourselves and others. And it's 288 00:15:55,160 --> 00:16:01,360 Speaker 5: this fascinating conundrum because we are arguably the most connected 289 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,720 Speaker 5: we've ever been, whether that means being able to get 290 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 5: your groceries or talk to people across the world or 291 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,800 Speaker 5: be in one hundred group chats at once, but we're 292 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:14,320 Speaker 5: actually the most disconnected we've ever been. And I think 293 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 5: as humans, we are craving emotional nourishment, like real nourishment, 294 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 5: not just empty calories. And so this comes back to 295 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 5: this quest and desire for real emotional intimacy. But I 296 00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 5: don't think you can get emotional intimacy from another person 297 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 5: until you understand what your actual needs are, like what 298 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:39,400 Speaker 5: do you need to be emotionally intimate? 299 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,760 Speaker 4: Who are you? What are you missing? Where are you fulfilled? 300 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 5: And this is what's been missing from dating on the 301 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:49,440 Speaker 5: internet for so long. It's like we've all been saying 302 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,760 Speaker 5: like me, like me back, We've all forgotten to say, 303 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:55,280 Speaker 5: like who am I and what do I actually need? 304 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:59,040 Speaker 5: So I think that's the next decade of this entire equation. 305 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,760 Speaker 1: I'm so excited to hear you say that. 306 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,320 Speaker 2: My entire ethos as an interviewer is that we are 307 00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:09,920 Speaker 2: in this high communication, low connection world in twenty twenty four, 308 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,040 Speaker 2: and I think we're seeing that trend so much with 309 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 2: gen Z. Forbes Health survey said that seventy nine percent 310 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:21,960 Speaker 2: of gen Z feels fatigued by dating apps. And You've 311 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:25,400 Speaker 2: always been on the forefront of technology and trends. I'm 312 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:30,159 Speaker 2: so curious how bumble is adapting to this burnout of 313 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:30,879 Speaker 2: dating apps. 314 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,679 Speaker 5: So I think, you know, in order to really be 315 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:37,359 Speaker 5: the leader in love and dating for gen Z in 316 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 5: this next generation, there is going to have to be 317 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:45,679 Speaker 5: this like complete both evolution and kind of revolution of 318 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:49,120 Speaker 5: self love and self discovered. I think we're moving out 319 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:53,960 Speaker 5: of an era of judgment and low self esteem online, 320 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 5: which when you think about what we did with this wife, 321 00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:59,080 Speaker 5: you went from these like e harmonies of the world 322 00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,560 Speaker 5: where you had to fill out out you hours of 323 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:05,919 Speaker 5: paperwork and the go robust to just like, oh my gosh, 324 00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:06,400 Speaker 5: this is great. 325 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:09,040 Speaker 4: We're in a digital bar like yes, no, yes, no, woo. 326 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,480 Speaker 4: I think it's coming next. 327 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:15,320 Speaker 5: If my spiding sense is right, my intuition around products 328 00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 5: is right, is like a hybrid of what we just 329 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:21,440 Speaker 5: lived through the last couple decades of online love, where 330 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:27,680 Speaker 5: it's not just this platform of quick judgment. Rather, we're 331 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 5: going to move into curiosity. How do we get you 332 00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:33,600 Speaker 5: to be curious by yourself, to ask the right questions 333 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,720 Speaker 5: about yourself, And then how do we actually inspire you 334 00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,680 Speaker 5: to be more curious about others and give people a chance, 335 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:44,080 Speaker 5: because curiosity is what will actually lead to true connection. 336 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:47,199 Speaker 5: And then confidence, right like, how do we make you 337 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:51,600 Speaker 5: really both feel confident in yourself but also in the journey. 338 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 5: Those are probably the two key pillars for how we 339 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 5: reinvent this for the next generation. 340 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:01,520 Speaker 2: And in thinking about the future of connect I can't 341 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:05,280 Speaker 2: help but think during this conversation, how does AI change 342 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:06,120 Speaker 2: the way we date? 343 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 5: I actually think AI is sensational for dating candidly because 344 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:12,680 Speaker 5: AI can take. 345 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,960 Speaker 4: A lot of the work out of sorting. 346 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,080 Speaker 5: I do think right now, it's, you know, kind of 347 00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:20,240 Speaker 5: like online shopping, Like why do you need to scroll 348 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,439 Speaker 5: through three thousand red dresses to find the three that 349 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:27,919 Speaker 5: would actually work for you? Why wouldn't we use AI 350 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:34,080 Speaker 5: to supercharge understanding compatibility and then help deliver you people 351 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 5: that are like deeply compatible and relevant to you so 352 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,439 Speaker 5: that you can actually make, you know, use out of 353 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,200 Speaker 5: your most valuable asset on Earth, which is your time. 354 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 5: And I actually think AI helps us tremendously just better 355 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:52,600 Speaker 5: match you, like helps you build better profiles, and it 356 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:57,000 Speaker 5: just gets you to these real connections quicker, better, faster, safer. 357 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,560 Speaker 1: It's time for an other quick break, but don't go away. 358 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:11,200 Speaker 1: We'll be right back with Whitney Wolf. Heard. We're back 359 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 1: with Whitney Wolf Heard. 360 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 3: I'd love to hear more about the secret to creating 361 00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:19,679 Speaker 3: a dating profile that you can feel confident in. And 362 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 3: it feels like we have this incredible resource here in you, 363 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,560 Speaker 3: and we'd be remiss not to ask you what is 364 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,840 Speaker 3: the secret to creating a perfect dating profile. 365 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:32,160 Speaker 5: I think the secret is really going to sound cheesy, 366 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,159 Speaker 5: and you're gonna be like, of course she said that, 367 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,719 Speaker 5: but you really have to be yourself like that is 368 00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 5: the secret. There's only one you, and I mean that 369 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 5: so sincerely. I run a product with you know, tens 370 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:48,959 Speaker 5: of millions of people, if not more, and there's only 371 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,679 Speaker 5: one you. So don't try to blend in. Try to 372 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,640 Speaker 5: stand out. And so by standing out, that is by 373 00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:58,399 Speaker 5: asking yourself like, what is unique to me? Where do 374 00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,679 Speaker 5: I feel most alive in my life photos? Where do 375 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,640 Speaker 5: I feel like, oh that is so me? And then 376 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 5: really express yourself. If you're funny, like showcase that, if 377 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 5: you are hyper intellectual, showcase that. Do not be shy, 378 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,280 Speaker 5: and do not build a profile in fear of what 379 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:18,920 Speaker 5: someone will think of you, because the ultimate outcome here 380 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 5: is that you find someone that sees you for you 381 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,480 Speaker 5: and you can be yourself with And so if you 382 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 5: don't present yourself as your true self, you won't connect 383 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,800 Speaker 5: that way. So I would say, just like, be so 384 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,000 Speaker 5: uniquely you, and it will attract the people that are 385 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:35,480 Speaker 5: meant for you. 386 00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:39,320 Speaker 1: My worst ones were also me not knowing myself. 387 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,679 Speaker 5: You're so right, and I think that you will see 388 00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:46,679 Speaker 5: this be one of the most important pillars of this 389 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,840 Speaker 5: business in the future. I think that's been the missing 390 00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:54,760 Speaker 5: link in dating this entire time. I think that's pretty revolutionary. 391 00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 5: I agree with you now that you are sort of 392 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 5: released from the burden of day in and day out 393 00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 5: CEO ship. I've heard you say that you're really excited 394 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:08,399 Speaker 5: to be an ideas person again. Is there anything that 395 00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:12,320 Speaker 5: you're comfortable sharing with in terms of what you are creating, 396 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,400 Speaker 5: what you want to put forth into the world via 397 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 5: bumble or elsewhere. I'm really focused on these macro cultural 398 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:24,360 Speaker 5: themes and integrating them into our vision as a company. 399 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:27,040 Speaker 5: How do we actually help people get to know themselves 400 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 5: so that they can really express themselves in a way 401 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,680 Speaker 5: that's more authentic and then attract people that will appreciate 402 00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,800 Speaker 5: them for them And people don't need to fall in 403 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,800 Speaker 5: love in a pretend version of themselves. It is just 404 00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,440 Speaker 5: like the inevitable, it's going to fall apart and collapse, right, 405 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,920 Speaker 5: So how do we actually prevent bad relationships from ever 406 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:50,520 Speaker 5: happening thematically. I've been spending the bulk of my time 407 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:55,399 Speaker 5: on self discovery, self love. That's really where I spend 408 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,680 Speaker 5: ninety nine percent of my energy right now. 409 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 2: Gen Z is so focused on self love. So it's 410 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,760 Speaker 2: how we save the planet. Candidly, like, if we all 411 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:08,800 Speaker 2: learn to love ourselves a little bit more in ten, twenty, thirty, 412 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,360 Speaker 2: fifty years from not like, we. 413 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,040 Speaker 4: Will be a better place for sure. 414 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,520 Speaker 2: So I think some people just have these strong natural 415 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:18,360 Speaker 2: instincts that help them pick up on things with culture. 416 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 2: And then on the other hand, some people have these 417 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 2: very particular external resources that help them get a finger 418 00:23:24,359 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 2: on the pulse of the world around them. Are there 419 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 2: ways in which you receive these sort of downloads or 420 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,920 Speaker 2: information about what's going on in culture at large? Is 421 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,520 Speaker 2: it from reading? Is it from talking to people? What 422 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 2: is it for you? You know? 423 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 5: Since I was a kid, I just get these downloads. 424 00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:43,240 Speaker 5: I just feel things. I don't know what you call it. 425 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:48,720 Speaker 5: I just get these like knowings. I went through a 426 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 5: harrowing teenage relationship that took me to my like depths 427 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 5: of hell, and I just as an innocent young girl, 428 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,880 Speaker 5: I just could not even imagine that that could happen 429 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,320 Speaker 5: to someone, and so I just think I wake up 430 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,919 Speaker 5: every day saying like I am going to just like 431 00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:10,120 Speaker 5: make sure that whoever the sixteen year old Whitney out 432 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 5: there never goes through that again. And I just like 433 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,959 Speaker 5: feel it. I don't know, that's just how my brain works. 434 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,000 Speaker 5: I love to meditate. I meditate every single day. It's 435 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,399 Speaker 5: like the only way I can function. And I don't know, 436 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:26,040 Speaker 5: I just try to connect inward to something bigger, whatever 437 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:26,760 Speaker 5: you want to call that. 438 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:28,960 Speaker 1: Thanks for sharing that. 439 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,240 Speaker 2: I think your career it's so obvious to me that 440 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,239 Speaker 2: it's this feeling and this knowing when I look at 441 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 2: your career. 442 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,359 Speaker 5: That's really kind and I really appreciate you guys asking 443 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:39,800 Speaker 5: all these amazing questions. 444 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:43,320 Speaker 4: It's been really fun. Thanks for saying that. Whitney, Thank you, 445 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:44,359 Speaker 4: Thank you. 446 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,880 Speaker 2: Whitney will have heard as the founder and executive chair 447 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:49,400 Speaker 2: of Bumble. 448 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:59,080 Speaker 3: Join the conversation using hashtag the bright Side and connect 449 00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 3: with us on social media. Hello Sunshine on Instagram and 450 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:05,879 Speaker 3: at the bright Side Pod on TikTok oh, and feel 451 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 3: free to tag us at Simone Voice and at Danielle Robe. 452 00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,800 Speaker 2: Listen and follow the bright Side on the iHeartRadio app 453 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. 454 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,639 Speaker 3: See you tomorrow, folks, keep looking on the bright side.