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Speaker 1: Time now for the Strawberry Letter for today and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more.

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Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve ARVEYFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one. You hear it right here, right now. Buckle up,

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Speaker 1: can hold on tight. We got it for you here.

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Speaker 1: It is Strawberry Letter. Thank enough you subject. If he

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Speaker 1: wants it, he has to pay. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm

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Speaker 1: a thirty seven year old single mom and I've been

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Speaker 1: divorced since my child was three years old. My ex

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Speaker 1: husband did not contribute financially to me and our daughter

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Speaker 1: in the year's past because he had some health issues

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Speaker 1: which kept him from working for a long period of time,

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Speaker 1: and he ended up moving in with his dad. Our

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Speaker 1: daughter is thirteen now and my ex husband has a

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Speaker 1: great job again and his health is much better. He

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Speaker 1: has a new home, and he's still a single. Man

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Speaker 1: recently poured out his heart to me and said he's

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Speaker 1: single because he still loves me and wants his family back.

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Speaker 1: I don't believe him, because he's had many years to

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Speaker 1: prove it. Even when he was ill and his finances

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Speaker 1: weren't all the way together, I would have been there

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Speaker 1: for him and helped him out, even though he cheated

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Speaker 1: on me in the past. That's what led to our divorced.

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Speaker 1: He had a long term relationship with another woman and

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Speaker 1: she came to my house with the jewelry he bought her,

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Speaker 1: bought for her, and she was driving a car he

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Speaker 1: bought for her. I was very hurt and we went

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Speaker 1: to counseling. But the only reason I did that was

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Speaker 1: for my daughter's sake. Over the years after our divorce,

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Speaker 1: I forgave him and I stopped hating him. He and

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Speaker 1: our daughter are best friends now, and she's been bugging

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Speaker 1: me to give her dad a second chance, a second chance.

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Speaker 1: I don't trust him, and it is his fault. He knows.

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Speaker 1: If he wants me to consider seeing him again, he

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Speaker 1: has to really bring it this time. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to ever have to wonder where he is or who

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Speaker 1: he's with. I want control of all of the money.

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Speaker 1: I want all of his pass codes, and he can't

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Speaker 1: be on social media or have female friends. He said

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Speaker 1: that it's too much to ask for, but I don't

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Speaker 1: think so if he wants me, he has to pay.

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Speaker 1: Am I going overboard? Please help na. I don't think

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Speaker 1: you're going overboard. I mean if that's what you need

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Speaker 1: right now to feel secure, and you may change later,

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Speaker 1: that's what you need. And I just say, don't waste

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Speaker 1: your time anymore with this guy. I mean, you gave him,

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Speaker 1: you gave him your terms and he said it's too much.

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Speaker 1: It's probably about controlling all the money. That's probably where

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Speaker 1: he had a problem. But he didn't like your terms.

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Speaker 1: So there's your answer. I don't think he's ready right now.

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Speaker 1: I think a person who wants his family back and

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Speaker 1: who still loves you would want to do whatever it

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Speaker 1: takes to make it up to you. I mean, did

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Speaker 1: he forget that he cheated on you and that's what

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Speaker 1: led to the divorce. At that time, the trust was

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Speaker 1: broken and that needs to be rebuilt. You know. It's

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Speaker 1: change of behavior. It's actions, not words that you need

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Speaker 1: right now because you don't believe him, and he's given

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Speaker 1: you no reason to at least you didn't mention in

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Speaker 1: the letter. He's given you no reason to believe him.

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Speaker 1: Of course, your daughter wants you guys to be back together.

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Speaker 1: I mean, most kids hate divorce. It's very hard on them.

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Speaker 1: But you have to explain it to her, since she's

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Speaker 1: bugging you to give him a second chance, that his

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Speaker 1: actions prove that so far he doesn't deserve a second

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Speaker 1: chance because he can't commit to giving you what you've

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Speaker 1: asked for. You've forgiven him, you no longer hate him,

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Speaker 1: and I'm assuming you're on friendly terms with him, So

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Speaker 1: just leave it at that for right now. If he

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Speaker 1: really really wants you, then he'll do what it takes

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Speaker 1: what you want. Steve Wow. If he wanted he has

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Speaker 1: to pay. The problem with this letter though, is to

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Speaker 1: payment is all her terms, and I think what she

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Speaker 1: should have did was if I were her, I would

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Speaker 1: have gone about this a little bit slicker. If you're

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Speaker 1: going to consider but let me help you. I think

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Speaker 1: you should consider this, and I want to show you

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Speaker 1: why your single divorce three year old. Your husband didn't

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Speaker 1: contribute to the relationship before because he was had health

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Speaker 1: issues kepting from working. He ended up moving in with

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Speaker 1: his dad. Your daughter's thirteen, so that's three years. That's

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Speaker 1: ten years. Your ex husband has gotten on his feet,

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Speaker 1: great job, health is a lot better, He has a

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Speaker 1: new home and it's still a single man. This is

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Speaker 1: the first line I want to bring to your attention.

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Speaker 1: He's back on his feet, he's financially strong, he has

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Speaker 1: a new home, and he's still single. Could it be true?

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Speaker 1: Or let me help you understand that it's true. Hard

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Speaker 1: to have checks on the side and buy a new

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Speaker 1: house at the same hard to have chicks on the

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Speaker 1: side and buy a new house at the same time.

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Speaker 1: I just want to share that with you, not saying

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Speaker 1: it's impossible, but I'm just telling you. Then he poured

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Speaker 1: out his heart to you. He told you he's single

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Speaker 1: because he still loves me and he wants his family back.

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Speaker 1: That could be true. Now you know you don't believe

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Speaker 1: him because he's had a lot of years to prove it. Well,

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Speaker 1: what broke y'all up before was two things. He cheated,

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Speaker 1: you say, and a lot of it was financed. He

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Speaker 1: couldn't contribute, couldn't take care of his family, nothing, and

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Speaker 1: that's very important to man. So maybe he wanted to

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Speaker 1: wait until he could get back on his feet, get

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Speaker 1: his thing together, so he could come to you with something.

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Speaker 1: This is all a possibility. Now you're saying you would

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Speaker 1: have been there for him and helped him out even

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Speaker 1: though he cheated me on the path. But you didn't

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Speaker 1: see and you didn't probably because he cheated on you,

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Speaker 1: and that's perfectly understandable. But you said you would have

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Speaker 1: been there for him and helped him out. Why would

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Speaker 1: you do that to somebody that cheated on you? And

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Speaker 1: the man know he was wrong, so he didn't got

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Speaker 1: himself together. Now that's what led to your divorce. He

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Speaker 1: had a long term relationship with a moment she came

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Speaker 1: to my house with the jewelry he bought her and

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Speaker 1: the car he bought her, Well, that ain't happening no more.

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Speaker 1: That's over with. You were hurt and y'all went to counseling.

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Speaker 1: When I come back, I'm gonna tell you what I

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Speaker 1: think he'll move. Should be all right, Steve, hang on

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Speaker 1: to your response. We'll have part two coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. If he wants me,

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Speaker 1: he has to pay. As a subject, we'll get back

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Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening show, all right?

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Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry Letters. Subject if

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Speaker 1: he wants it thirty seven year old single mother with

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Speaker 1: a child three years old by her former husband. The

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Speaker 1: daughter is now thirteen years old. They broke up because

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Speaker 1: of health issues because he kept him from working for

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Speaker 1: long predeten and they had to move in with his dad.

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Speaker 1: Now he's back on his feet, got new house, and

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Speaker 1: he's still single, and he poured his heart out to her.

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Speaker 1: Told this woman he's single because he still loves me.

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Speaker 1: He wants his family back. This could be true. You

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Speaker 1: say you don't believe him because he had a lot

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Speaker 1: of chip years to prove it. But he was getting

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Speaker 1: back on his feet. And if y'all broke up before

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Speaker 1: because he had to move in with his dad because

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Speaker 1: he cheated on you and he didn't have himself together

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Speaker 1: because he couldn't work right, maybe he wanted to get

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Speaker 1: himself together where he did. Now he had a long

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Speaker 1: term relationship with this woman that came to your house.

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Speaker 1: I don't know when she came to your own house.

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Speaker 1: I don't know when this was just old a piece

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Speaker 1: of information that came out of nowhere. You didn't say

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Speaker 1: when y'all was married. After the marriage, I don't know

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Speaker 1: when she came to the house and you saw this

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Speaker 1: jewelry in his car and you were hurt, y'all went

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Speaker 1: to counseling, so that it must mean I guess y'all

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Speaker 1: were still married. But the only reason I did that

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Speaker 1: was for your daughter, because over the years after the divorce,

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Speaker 1: you've forgiving him stop hating you, and he and your

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Speaker 1: daughter best friends. Now she's been bugging me to give

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Speaker 1: her dad a second chance. Now you say I don't

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Speaker 1: trust him and it's his fault. Okay, that's true, and

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Speaker 1: you justified him feeling exactly that way. Got it. He

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Speaker 1: knows if he wants me to consider seeing him again,

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Speaker 1: he has to really bring it this time. So now

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Speaker 1: you don't ever want to have to wonder where he

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Speaker 1: is or who he's with. That's okay, cool, Now his

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Speaker 1: square The demands may have stopped this from happening. I

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Speaker 1: won't control of all the money, I want all of

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Speaker 1: his past codes, and he can't be on social media

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Speaker 1: or have female friends. He said, that's too much to

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Speaker 1: ask for. You need to find out which one is

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Speaker 1: too much, because if he gots to have female friends,

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Speaker 1: if that's the part that's too much, leave his ass

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Speaker 1: right where he is. If he don't want to give

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Speaker 1: you his pass codes and all that, leave his ass

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Speaker 1: right where he is. But if it's about this money,

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Speaker 1: like Shirley said, which I think it is, could it

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Speaker 1: be because he didn't got on his feet. It's proud

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Speaker 1: of his accomplishments. He's willing to share, but he ain't

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Speaker 1: going to give you control of it. And a lot

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Speaker 1: of people they don't don't are not going to relinquish

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Speaker 1: control of it. So now he said that's too much

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Speaker 1: to ask, but I don't think so. If he wants this,

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Speaker 1: he has to pay. Am I going overboard? Please help?

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Speaker 1: I think you need to demand everything is self control

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Speaker 1: of all the money, and I think you all should

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Speaker 1: have joint control of the money. Nobody should feel like

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Speaker 1: they can't make a move in a marriage without asking

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Speaker 1: a another person. You are both adults. These women on

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Speaker 1: the show would not go home and not be able

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Speaker 1: to shop about something when they want to. They got

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Speaker 1: to ask their hubs. Can I have this? Can I have?

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Speaker 1: Anybody do that? It's just a limit something Come on

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Speaker 1: and now I ain't no man fit the man, no

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Speaker 1: woman give her all the money and go Can I

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Speaker 1: buy this? Can I have it? Can I go play golf?

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Speaker 1: Can I bomb? Can I get some money? No? One

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Speaker 1: get on my nerves. So, now, do I think it's

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Speaker 1: going overboard if you're demanding all this. Yes, Now, if

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Speaker 1: he don't want to give you his pass cold and

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Speaker 1: he don't and he want to have female friends, then

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Speaker 1: you gotta leave him a lot. But if it's about

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Speaker 1: that money, y'all got to work out something where y'all

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Speaker 1: both can have control and say so over the money,

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Speaker 1: and y'all each still have an individual life with your

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Speaker 1: own money. You gotta have that in relationship to move

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Speaker 1: around because I get old real quick having to ask

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Speaker 1: somebody for everything. Boyd, Shirley Carlin, how would you feel

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Speaker 1: if y'all had to go and ask her husband for everything? Oh,

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Speaker 1: I'd be single, sick. I'm just gonna say that. I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna say it this law. I'm just say you

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Speaker 1: pack yourself on the back right right, My damn s

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Speaker 1: first time you asked, sir, no, because I'm gonna tell you,

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Speaker 1: I mean, Marjorie controls a lot, but I mean she

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Speaker 1: has access to everything, and she knows where everything is,

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Speaker 1: but control all of it. Hold up now right, well,

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Speaker 1: I think conversations. Yeah, they need to discuss it, because

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Speaker 1: he just he just cut her off and said that's

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Speaker 1: too much. Well, let's talk about it, you know, and

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Speaker 1: she has Yeah, dude, they need to talk about it,

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Speaker 1: they do. You know, man, if you really want your

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Speaker 1: family back, and you want your family back but you

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Speaker 1: did time, you need to act like to your family.

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Speaker 1: And I'm telling you money was a big part of

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Speaker 1: why they broke up before because his first day, she said,

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Speaker 1: he was unable to support us and he had to

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Speaker 1: move in with his dad. Well, he had health, his shoes. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so you wasn't gonna take care of his ass anyone.

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Speaker 1: He was cheating, Let her take care of you want

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Speaker 1: to happen to sickness and in him. You gotta move on.

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Speaker 1: You gotta move in with your dad. You can't crawl

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Speaker 1: up step. No, you gotta moving with your dad. Going

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Speaker 1: over there. He ain't got no steps. I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: be helping you up these steps every night. Soon you

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Speaker 1: can go to bab what's your meaning bringing the tarlet

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Speaker 1: in hell? If he cheated, we even go on in there.

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Speaker 1: Your dad is strong enough to help you up the steps.

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Speaker 1: I can't go. I gotta take care of his baby,

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Speaker 1: all right. Listen, Thank you Steve post your comments on

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Speaker 1: today Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, on Instagram and Facebook.

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Speaker 1: Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand please and

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Speaker 1: coming up forty six minutes after the hour, Junior and

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Speaker 1: Sports Talk. Right after this, you're listening to the Stave

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show