Speaker 1: The Nicky Glaser podcast.
Speaker 2: Glaser Post.
Speaker 3: Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am, It's Sneakey Glaser Podcast.
Speaker 3: My my mic was up too much. Oh wait, I'm
Speaker 3: trying to down. Sorry that was for me. My my
Speaker 3: headphones are too loud. Sorry I didn't appear on Scream
Speaker 3: when that was happening. Jump Scare. It's the show. Welcome,
Speaker 3: Anya and Brian and Noah are all here, and we're
Speaker 3: still all in California. And then Noah is still in
Speaker 3: New York. Yeah, my god, you've been there so long.
Speaker 3: Why are you again? I was like realized the other day.
Speaker 3: I don't know why exactly you're there.
Speaker 4: Well, I originally came here for Anya's wedding, and then
Speaker 4: at the same time I was helping my dad. He
Speaker 4: had to move and I'm in his new house right now,
Speaker 4: like from a chair to the couch or something.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: No, it's just like our parents, A good daughter.
Speaker 3: Holding his hand, walking him along. Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, he has like so much crap and I don't know.
Speaker 3: I just stayed to help me. I think it was
Speaker 3: a mistake though. Nice. It's really my parents know that
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna do I'll hire I will pay money
Speaker 3: to hire people to do that, but I can't. That's
Speaker 3: what I should have done. I should I should have
Speaker 3: done that. You're right, so in that respect, you do
Speaker 3: wish that you would have just like spent some coin
Speaker 3: to have someone else do it.
Speaker 4: Yes, because the amount of screaming at me that happened
Speaker 4: was just inappropriate.
Speaker 3: Yeah, throwing out did you throw out things that he wanted?
Speaker 3: Or were you no?
Speaker 4: Like he he yelled at me and then I just
Speaker 4: gave up on it even yelled great time for clearing
Speaker 4: He's he's very like my dad is very stubborn, and
Speaker 4: I realize if I come visit like annually, he'll just
Speaker 4: get more and more stubborn as the years go by.
Speaker 4: And there was no like changing anything. Everything that went
Speaker 4: from one house had to go into the next house
Speaker 4: in the same way and the same quant.
Speaker 3: I'm guessing he's moving because he has to, because this
Speaker 3: guy doesn't like change, so he's being forced to move. No,
Speaker 3: did he want He's not. He wanted to.
Speaker 4: Oh, he wants more space so that he can accumulate
Speaker 4: more crowd.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yes, some.
Speaker 6: Sort of film moving situation or like I remember in
Speaker 6: college and even all the way up when I was
Speaker 6: living in New York. It was like asking a friend
Speaker 6: to help you move or like uh, and then you
Speaker 6: give them pizza and you have a fucking pizza party.
Speaker 6: And then I learned like, it's like two hundred and
Speaker 6: fifty dollars to pay professional movers to move shit for you.
Speaker 6: I mean, how much would it cost a task grabit
Speaker 6: to have that to get that shit done for you?
Speaker 2: And then it's it's like so little.
Speaker 6: Like when I was like twenty two years old, I
Speaker 6: was like, it must cost five thousand dollars to have
Speaker 6: movers come and help you move things, and it's like, no,
Speaker 6: it's not.
Speaker 2: It's like two hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: It's like the hotel mini bar. There's like always a
Speaker 3: meme about like who grew up in a time where
Speaker 3: you thought, if you like ate a couple things, you
Speaker 3: would bankrupt your family and end up on the streets.
Speaker 3: And I still have that anxiety of like if I
Speaker 3: try to move things around to put like a hummus in,
Speaker 3: I'm like the censors will know and I Am going
Speaker 3: to be in a shelter tomorrow because I moved to
Speaker 3: Jack Daniel's mini bottle. Yeah, there's all these things that
Speaker 3: we'd like attribute, it's going to be so much we
Speaker 3: don't even like check. Yeah, it's moving as hell. Listen,
Speaker 3: these are all life lessons. You'll do it right, Christian,
Speaker 3: move into your place.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But he This is what I love about my boyfriend.
Speaker 3: There are like whenever, whenever I'm like, oh, you know,
Speaker 3: is this going to be the right thing forever for us,
Speaker 3: I'm like, I have a boyfriend who would never ask
Speaker 3: me to lift a finger to help him in any way,
Speaker 3: Like he does everything himself and hates to put me
Speaker 3: out in any way. Which I'm very much like that
Speaker 3: too with him, Like I don't like to put him out,
Speaker 3: but he protects me from bullshit because he knows that
Speaker 3: that is such an anxiety for me. Of like, you know,
Speaker 3: if we ever moved into a house together, he's going
Speaker 3: to deal with the guy to come over and fix
Speaker 3: our dishwasher. He's going to deal with the guy like
Speaker 3: there's I'll never have to do anything that's like a
Speaker 3: solid agreement between us. Is like I get stressed out
Speaker 3: by those things. He protects me from them, and then
Speaker 3: I don't know really what I do for him, but
Speaker 3: I make him laugh. I I have to like reassess
Speaker 3: what I offer my friend, I think, because he really
Speaker 3: does do a lot for me. And the other night, God,
Speaker 3: there was something. There's some meme I sent him. Let
Speaker 3: me just look it up because it was so cute. Oh,
Speaker 3: I also want to get to this letter I got
Speaker 3: from a bestie.
Speaker 2: Last night.
Speaker 3: I was at the laugh Factory and oh, a bestie.
Speaker 3: I was on my way there. I was doing three
Speaker 3: sets and I was looking at my phone in a
Speaker 3: stoplight and a bestie wrote me and was like, I'm
Speaker 3: at the laugh Factory. I'm going to see you. I
Speaker 3: have a letter for you. It's okay if I can't
Speaker 3: give it to you, but I'm here. And I was like, oh, fine,
Speaker 3: just go to the bathroom and find me because you'll
Speaker 3: see me walk in. It's very it's a conspicuous like
Speaker 3: you have to be kind of conspicuous there because there's
Speaker 3: no where to like really hide when you enter. And
Speaker 3: so when I got there, she was in the bathroom
Speaker 3: waiting for not waiting for me, but she was just
Speaker 3: in the bathroom, I think, And then I opened the
Speaker 3: I went into the bathroom. I think she first went
Speaker 3: in there because she had anxiety about crowd work, because
Speaker 3: the guy on stage at the time was doing crowd work.
Speaker 3: Because then my friend Jermaine Fowler, another comedian, said there
Speaker 3: was a girl in the bathroom hiding from CrowdWork, and
Speaker 3: then you came in and I heard you walk into
Speaker 3: the bathroom and her go, oh my god. So she
Speaker 3: like started crying as soon as I walked in. She
Speaker 3: was washing her hands and she just didn't expect to
Speaker 3: see me. And she was wearing a Nikki Glazer podcast
Speaker 3: t shirt and she's like and her eyes were welling up,
Speaker 3: and she was so cute and so sweet, and I
Speaker 3: just like, I was just so freaking touched. And then
Speaker 3: she gave me a letter and I said that I
Speaker 3: would read it, and I haven't yet, and now I'm
Speaker 3: reading it. Okay, So the meme that I sent, I
Speaker 3: sent him a couple of things that are really funny
Speaker 3: that because Chris has a segment on his podcast called
Speaker 3: the Best Thing I Saw Yesterday, and they all just
Speaker 3: share like memes or tweets or something that they saw
Speaker 3: on the internet or even if they saw their real lives.
Speaker 3: And I sent He sometimes reads one that I sent him,
Speaker 3: and one is a bumpersigre. I don't know if you
Speaker 3: guys saw it was like on the internet a lot
Speaker 3: the past couple of days, and it's a bumper secret
Speaker 3: that says Helen Keller Denier. And then like one of
Speaker 3: those non smoking signs that has like a red circle
Speaker 3: with a cross, and that cross it says, ain't no way.
Speaker 1: I saw that in skipttastic because I didn't get it,
Speaker 1: and I still don't get it. I don't understand the question,
Speaker 1: and I won't respond to it.
Speaker 3: Okay, R Bryan, would you like to explain it? Then,
Speaker 3: as I look for this other.
Speaker 6: Tweet, I believe the way I interpret this piece of
Speaker 6: art is that people are saying that there's an imaginary
Speaker 6: group of people who deny that Helen Keller could have
Speaker 6: possibly been deaf, dumb, and blind and still been alive
Speaker 6: and wrote things. And then the basically the slogan is
Speaker 6: a is what would be a slogan for those people?
Speaker 6: Ain't no way that she could have done all those
Speaker 6: things and been deaf, done blind. She was faking that.
Speaker 6: Being deaf, dumb, and blind just a more succinct way to.
Speaker 3: Say that it's not real. There's no one that's a
Speaker 3: Helen Keller Denier. It's a joke.
Speaker 6: Yes, it's like a satirization of people like like Holocaust deniers.
Speaker 3: And landers flat earthers. Yeah, yeah, and then okay, here's
Speaker 3: the here's the meme. Oh sorry, what was your next question?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry?
Speaker 3: You love and I love analyzing.
Speaker 1: Okay, what why the red crossout sign?
Speaker 3: Well that I think that's just bad graphics because they're
Speaker 3: making fun of people who don't know how to actually
Speaker 3: put together because usually all those people moon landing people
Speaker 3: flat earthers, they don't really know how to present an
Speaker 3: argument in a graph like they usually use, Like they
Speaker 3: probably don't have a they don't pay a lot for
Speaker 3: good graphics.
Speaker 2: They don't have a creative suite on.
Speaker 3: Their Yeah, so let me pross. It doesn't even make sense.
Speaker 1: The sign says ain't no way or whatever.
Speaker 3: Okay, so the sign says Helen Keller denier and fought
Speaker 3: on the bumper cigar and on the side it's a
Speaker 3: non smoking sign, and in that non smoking sign says
Speaker 3: ain't no way, and it's crossed out. That does not
Speaker 3: make sense. It doesn't make sense, but that they're making
Speaker 3: fun of people who don't know how to make things.
Speaker 6: This isn't funny in that instance, and it ain't no
Speaker 6: way is a satirical making fun of flat earthers, moonlighting
Speaker 6: people because they rarely have any evidence. So that person's
Speaker 6: argument is.
Speaker 1: Just showing stupid people are Yes.
Speaker 2: That's all comedy, isn't it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, it's just making fun of people being dumb.
Speaker 1: I feel like there's something either awry with my brain
Speaker 1: or other people because to me, this isn't funny at all.
Speaker 1: But I want to laugh.
Speaker 3: Well, okay, let me just make you laugh about it. Okay.
Speaker 3: There's a group of people out there that are like,
Speaker 3: join together and they don't believe they're big thing that
Speaker 3: they make bumper stickers over, and they get together in
Speaker 3: groups and talk about and spread misinformation about is that
Speaker 3: Helen Keller is not is faking it? That's really no,
Speaker 3: this is it's a joke, satire. It's making fun of
Speaker 3: flats like people who believe in this big or like yes,
Speaker 3: and so you have something outrageous and then there there
Speaker 3: there's their tagline is just this empty phrase of ain't
Speaker 3: no way, which the word ain't implies they're kind of
Speaker 3: stupid because you don't say ain't unless that it's like,
Speaker 3: I mean, you can say ain't all you want, but
Speaker 3: you wouldn't say that. If you were like a group
Speaker 3: of people coming together to be like, what's our statement,
Speaker 3: you would put ain't in it and then crossing out
Speaker 3: ain't no way doesn't make any sense. It's just like
Speaker 3: a bad graphic choice. And so it just kind of
Speaker 3: hammers up, like, look at how bad this like the
Speaker 3: the art is on this. Yes, I remember saying it.
Speaker 3: It's like using comic sands almost. So okay, here's the
Speaker 3: meme that I was looking for. Yeah, I love this.
Speaker 3: It reminds me of my favorite segment on my old
Speaker 3: favorite podcast, what was that called? It was with PJ
Speaker 3: Vote and uh, another guy from but they used to
Speaker 3: do this thing called yes, yes, no or something in
Speaker 3: this remember that and remember that I don't hate what
Speaker 3: people say that member that And it was about the
Speaker 3: one guy that was like an older man would be
Speaker 3: like they would they would he would bring a tweet
Speaker 3: that he saw and he would be like, I don't
Speaker 3: know what this means, but it has twenty thousand likes
Speaker 3: and you know, five thousand retweets and it made no
Speaker 3: sense and they would break it down because it would
Speaker 3: be some very specific reference and they would like teach
Speaker 3: you how to understand meme culture. And it's like it
Speaker 3: was interesting. So this one was.
Speaker 6: And yeah, and also we got to give a shout
Speaker 6: out to Tony Zarit. Then he's the king of this
Speaker 6: satirizing meme culture Helen Keller thing.
Speaker 3: I'm honestly, he probably did. He's the one that does
Speaker 3: the best job of it. Where you go, is this
Speaker 3: real or is he? Oftentimes people think he's legit. Tony's
Speaker 3: zarat Z a r e t if you want to
Speaker 3: follow someone who is like satirizing memes and idiots. Okay,
Speaker 3: so this one is the one I was talking about.
Speaker 3: It's a it's a body like floating and above it.
Speaker 3: It says the feminism leaving my body. When my night
Speaker 3: stand water cup is empty.
Speaker 1: You want your friend to get it?
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And that's always what happens. Like when I'm
Speaker 3: in bed, I'll just be like, I won't even say
Speaker 3: a thing. I'll just be like, oh, I forgot my
Speaker 3: charter in the living room and I don't. And Chris
Speaker 3: can be in deep r em sleep and he will
Speaker 3: still and he will have worked a twenty four hour
Speaker 3: shift like sometimes his and he will still go get
Speaker 3: it for me. Even if I've been in laying in
Speaker 3: bed all day, like he is always that that's a
Speaker 3: very sweet thing about him.
Speaker 6: But anyway, creative power, the power of memes is amazing.
Speaker 6: I was at your hotel a couple of weeks ago
Speaker 6: and we were playing what do you Mean?
Speaker 2: The game what do you Mean?
Speaker 6: And at first I think all of us were like,
Speaker 6: wait a second, this isn't going to be fun, like
Speaker 6: these these aren't funny, And then we started playing what
Speaker 6: do you Mean?
Speaker 2: And then five minutes later we're like, this is fucking hysterical.
Speaker 2: Memes are so funny.
Speaker 3: So funny, just a dog looking sideways. Yeah, And then
Speaker 3: it's a really fun game. It's called what do you Mean?
Speaker 3: And it has all these meme pictures and you pick
Speaker 3: a picture, and then every person has like a deck
Speaker 3: of phrases like that are funny things like when your
Speaker 3: boss calls you in and tells you you've been spending
Speaker 3: too much time in the bathroom at work or something like.
Speaker 3: It has those kinds of things, and then you have
Speaker 3: a deck of them, and for every picture that gets
Speaker 3: put up, you put the best phrase for that meme,
Speaker 3: and then the person who picked the meme picture has
Speaker 3: to vote on which one's the funniest. And so you
Speaker 3: read all of these in conjunction with the picture which
Speaker 3: is being posed on this little it has a little
Speaker 3: easel it comes with, and you look at the picture
Speaker 3: and read these things and it's really really funny and
Speaker 3: we had a good time playing it. But uh, okay,
Speaker 3: so yeah, last night this girl came and she was
Speaker 3: really sweet and she gave me a letter, which we'll
Speaker 3: read later because we're gonna do fan thras. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I went. Oh I wanted to say. This weekend, Brian
Speaker 3: and I hung out with We went to a pool party.
Speaker 3: What yeah, we I did something social I saw. I
Speaker 3: guess it was like last week. I went and did
Speaker 3: a set and Tim Dillon was there, who I'm quite
Speaker 3: obsessed with right now. I'm going through a Luis k
Speaker 3: slash Tim Dillon, just like obsession where it's like all
Speaker 3: I listen to and in his podcast about Lizzo, can
Speaker 3: I just give a shout out you guys finish this one,
Speaker 3: but then go listen to that one. It's so fucking
Speaker 3: funny his take on the Lizo thing. And again he
Speaker 3: is like the Tony Zarit person we're talking about he's
Speaker 3: like these like mocking meme things, like he's not really
Speaker 3: serious when he says that Lizzo needs to become thin
Speaker 3: and leave the fatties behind, leave the pigs in the barn,
Speaker 3: abandon them. They've turned on you. He's like, his whole
Speaker 3: point is that you were the queen of the fatty
Speaker 3: fatty boom batties, and he's fat so he can say this,
Speaker 3: and so I'm just paraphrasing. I don't believe this. I
Speaker 3: don't call people fats. But he says you need to
Speaker 3: leave them behind, get thin, go on Rogan. He has
Speaker 3: this whole pr plan for her that is completely ridiculous
Speaker 3: and totally a joke. But when he said leave the
Speaker 3: pigs in the barn, and really you need to abandon
Speaker 3: the hogs and have first, it's just it's so it's
Speaker 3: so harsh that it's so funny because you just go,
Speaker 3: this is an insane person, but he's so funny. Anyway,
Speaker 3: I ran into him at the improv and he uh,
Speaker 3: he was like, Oh, you got great beaches out there
Speaker 3: where you're staying. And I was like, oh, you go
Speaker 3: to the beach. He's like, yeah, body surf And I
Speaker 3: was like let's go to the beach. So we all
Speaker 3: we came up with an idea to go meet at
Speaker 3: a beach. And then the day came and he was like,
Speaker 3: we could either you're doing a text exchange with some
Speaker 3: other people and we could either go to the beach
Speaker 3: and you could come to my house. And he's right
Speaker 3: off a road and it's a long road. And he
Speaker 3: also so he I go, let's go to your house
Speaker 3: because I just want to go to and sit by
Speaker 3: your pool. It sounds way more fun. And and then
Speaker 3: I got over to his house on Saturday, which I did.
Speaker 3: I've gone to Sunday, I've gone to Taylor's with the
Speaker 3: night before. I did not want to go get up
Speaker 3: and drive an hour to go to a pool party.
Speaker 3: I was like, what am I doing? Being this is
Speaker 3: like a social thing. What am I doing?
Speaker 1: Good for me?
Speaker 3: Rest I know good for me? And most people are
Speaker 3: like I'd love a pool party, and I'm like exhausted
Speaker 3: by it, And but ended up being very, very fun.
Speaker 3: I knew it would be as as everything I dread,
Speaker 3: and when I got there, every.
Speaker 1: Was in Los Angeles. It's a city full of lonely people,
Speaker 1: so it's almost like doing service by showing up at
Speaker 1: a party because everybody's like dying for a pool in summer.
Speaker 1: And then everyone in la is dying for a friend.
Speaker 6: Do you think so?
Speaker 1: Yes, it's the loneliest city I've ever lived in.
Speaker 2: New York City's lonelier people.
Speaker 1: You walk outside and you're not alone. In New York.
Speaker 1: You're like friends with the bagel guy who's yelling at.
Speaker 6: It's so sad because you're surrounded by people and yet
Speaker 6: you still feel lonely.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I seen the main high maintenance.
Speaker 6: Every episode is a characterization of someone in New York
Speaker 6: City feeling lonely.
Speaker 3: And that's not having a weak guy deliver weed.
Speaker 6: And that's your friend, and that's your friend, and you're
Speaker 6: going through something and he's the only one that's listening
Speaker 6: to your problems.
Speaker 3: But in New York, on you.
Speaker 1: Though, there's this I remember living in New York. I've
Speaker 1: told this story before. I'll tell it quickly. I was
Speaker 1: there for a couple of weeks and I was walking
Speaker 1: down the street and there was an old man shuffling
Speaker 1: down the street trying to get his arm into his
Speaker 1: sleeve of his coat, and he was hunched over and
Speaker 1: I'm just walking beside him for like ten or twenty paces,
Speaker 1: and I just grabbed his coat and put it on
Speaker 1: his arm. I never would do that anywhere else, but
Speaker 1: in New York City because we're all together, crammed together,
Speaker 1: you have this odd sense that we're all a family,
Speaker 1: and so you don't have as many like walls or
Speaker 1: boundaries up.
Speaker 3: But you guys stepped over four homeless people on that
Speaker 3: twenty steps. You literally the old man and I just
Speaker 3: leap over old people that are homeless and dying on
Speaker 3: the street that you have to ignore.
Speaker 6: Probably good the reason he had his jacket undone. He's
Speaker 6: probably dumped a bunch of chemicals into the Hudson River
Speaker 6: just before that finance bro party.
Speaker 3: In New York, you do not deal with people that
Speaker 3: are struggling because it's constantly around you, and you would
Speaker 3: never get to where you're going if you addressed every
Speaker 3: person that needed help in some way with a stroller,
Speaker 3: with their jacket, with money, with you know. And I've
Speaker 3: helped many people in the New like old women cross
Speaker 3: streets and stuff like that. But I think you become
Speaker 3: because it's all around you suffering, and you go, how
Speaker 3: are these people affording to live or even be how
Speaker 3: do they even get to Manhattan from wherever they came from?
Speaker 3: Like it's so expensive to even spend three hours in Manhattan.
Speaker 3: So I'm these people trudging along. I just don't I
Speaker 3: don't get where they're all coming from. It's a strange city.
Speaker 1: But people look to each other more in New York.
Speaker 1: I'm on the street always to people are like, hey,
Speaker 1: where's this? Where's that?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, like how do I get to this? Stop? Think
Speaker 1: about when you're in New York you talk to talking.
Speaker 3: About cars versus not cars. As I think what you're saying,
Speaker 3: because people in La would probably talk to each other,
Speaker 3: they're just in cars.
Speaker 1: So exactly in New York, you're on the subway, you're
Speaker 1: on the street, You're like.
Speaker 3: No one talking to each other on the subway on
Speaker 3: you literally no one. You can get raped on the
Speaker 3: way and talk. Watch you get.
Speaker 1: Rid on the subway you don't talk, but waiting stander effect,
Speaker 1: waiting or on the stairs or on the way in
Speaker 1: you talk. French family just was like, how do you
Speaker 1: do this metro card to meet family?
Speaker 3: Talking chorus?
Speaker 2: A metro card is not talking and that's the talking.
Speaker 3: If you're a lonely thing.
Speaker 1: We had a lonely persision about where they went that day.
Speaker 6: If you're a lonely person and then you're not going
Speaker 6: to go to your therapist. I was feeling lonely, but
Speaker 6: then a French family asked me how to use the
Speaker 6: metro card.
Speaker 2: I feel less alone.
Speaker 1: I'll just speak for myself. I've lived in both cities.
Speaker 1: I was very lonely in LA and because I'm in
Speaker 1: my car, like you said, you're isolated. And in New
Speaker 1: York City, I immediately felt like I don't care if
Speaker 1: I'm alone all day. I'm at the movie theater I met.
Speaker 6: I agree with that. I do agree with that. I
Speaker 6: mean I want I just said quickly. I love New
Speaker 6: York City. It is far superior to LA. Go ahead
Speaker 6: your but.
Speaker 3: I will say the thing that I've noticed about LA
Speaker 3: before we go to break is that if you need
Speaker 3: to get in the next lane, people will let you,
Speaker 3: no matter what. It's the greatest thing about this city.
Speaker 3: I will never back down from it. I have noticed
Speaker 3: that people are generous. If you've oh, fuck I forgot
Speaker 3: my exit, you are never gonna have to lean on
Speaker 3: your horn and be like fuck you. You saw that
Speaker 3: I'm there. It would take you two seconds to just
Speaker 3: like let me in. Yes, my Amazon boxes are here.
Speaker 3: They were looking for them yesterday. So one signed off
Speaker 3: called his name was Red Canyon or something and Red
Speaker 3: Ranch you can just leave it here, thank you so much. Uh,
Speaker 3: but we couldn't find who Red Ranch was, and we
Speaker 3: thought maybe it was the name of this place. Anyway,
Speaker 3: everyone in La lets you in. Everyone in La lets
Speaker 3: you in in traffic. They are so generous when it
Speaker 3: comes to being like cool, I don't care if you
Speaker 3: cut me off. Like, no one's freaking out here. The
Speaker 3: road whereage is like less here and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well they all they let you in.
Speaker 6: It goes.
Speaker 2: They're all drunk.
Speaker 3: No one's stone. We'll come back with more after this.
Speaker 2: We're back.
Speaker 3: I don't know if La is all drunk. They're all
Speaker 3: maybe hi driving.
Speaker 2: Everyone drunk drives out here.
Speaker 6: It's like it's like I'm here and the OC especially
Speaker 6: forget about it.
Speaker 1: I did so really drunk driving.
Speaker 3: And there's so many self driving cars now that you
Speaker 3: could kind of do it. I think that will that
Speaker 3: be a thing when you can just be drunk and
Speaker 3: get in your car and just press go and then
Speaker 3: it just takes you home and.
Speaker 5: Why not.
Speaker 2: The only thing you might do in the wrong place.
Speaker 2: Oh fuck, talk me to a fucking in and out burger.
Speaker 1: So did you body? Oh no, you didn't.
Speaker 3: Yeah so Tim dillan. But yeah, So we all go
Speaker 3: to the house for the pool party. Invite Brian because
Speaker 3: Brian hasn't seen Tim Dillon in like over maybe eight
Speaker 3: years when they used to do a podcast. You guys
Speaker 3: do that podcast, so Brian was Tim was Brian's sidekick
Speaker 3: on his podcast. So I wrote Tim, and I go, hey,
Speaker 3: can I invite Brian Frangie? He is my podcast sidekick
Speaker 3: now and I heard you used to be his? Isn't
Speaker 3: that crazy? And he wrote back yes, and I was like,
Speaker 3: uh oh, like am I Like why is it? But
Speaker 3: I could just tell that it was like he just
Speaker 3: looked down on his phone when he's probably in conversation
Speaker 3: with someone else and was just like yes. And then
Speaker 3: he wrote me back later he was like, I love Brian.
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, good, Like it wasn't just like
Speaker 3: a yes, but he was so excited to see Brian.
Speaker 3: And then Brian and Ally came over and uh we
Speaker 3: all hung out by Tim Dillon's pool and it was
Speaker 3: very hot, and we watched his Tim Dillon's assistant struggled
Speaker 3: to put off a So Tim Dillan, I guess that
Speaker 3: morning was like, oh shit, I have no one bre
Speaker 3: and it's hot as fuck out here and people are
Speaker 3: gonna come over and be outside. So he sent his
Speaker 3: assistant to go to like home depot to get an umbrella.
Speaker 3: And then the assistant just had to assemble this gigantic
Speaker 3: outdoor umbrella while we just all sat and watched him
Speaker 3: struggle in the blazing heat. And yeah, and then Tim.
Speaker 2: And also one of the hottest guys I've ever seen.
Speaker 3: That's so funny. Yeah, he's a good looking guy, but
Speaker 3: I wouldn't have described him that way. But yeah, he
Speaker 3: was fit. He was a fit guy. Sorry, wrong room.
Speaker 3: I think. No, you're okay, You're okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was just trying out a new chriacter. What
Speaker 1: if he were just like doing a monologue.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm just connecting with people in La dropping up
Speaker 3: is just someone.
Speaker 1: Walking by your window. I have no idea who these
Speaker 1: people are.
Speaker 3: Well, there's like a something going on here that people
Speaker 3: in the next two rooms next to me are doing
Speaker 3: some kind of production thing, and so they keep wondering
Speaker 3: up here, thinking that they're like with like gaffing tape,
Speaker 3: ready to walk in my room, and I go no, no,
Speaker 3: no no, And they sometimes they walk in they go,
Speaker 3: oh my god, they're just so scared.
Speaker 1: Oh I didn't realize you were like, buy a door.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm right by a door. It's right here.
Speaker 3: In fact, i'm looking at it right now. I look
Speaker 3: at that fucking door. Uh yeah. So we had a
Speaker 3: pool party and it was fun, and Brian brought his
Speaker 3: wife over. First time I've seen them as a husband
Speaker 3: and wife together. She is amazingly perfect teeth. They were
Speaker 3: as white as the beautiful sun dress outfit she was wearing,
Speaker 3: which was also gorgeous. She's ethereal. Tim Dillon had lots
Speaker 3: of nice things to say about her. He was just like, God,
Speaker 3: she's a keeper. I forget what I said. What did
Speaker 3: he say to you?
Speaker 2: He thought she was twenty four?
Speaker 3: Oh, god's amazing, and how old twenty five?
Speaker 6: Yeah she's twenty five, so you know, yeah, he was
Speaker 6: off by a year. Really embarrassing. Wait, connect, it was
Speaker 6: really fun.
Speaker 3: How is it.
Speaker 1: Being married for you? Is it any different from dating?
Speaker 1: Do you feel any to friend?
Speaker 2: I guess.
Speaker 6: You know, there are occasions when I you know, like
Speaker 6: at this pool party or whatever. I mean, when you
Speaker 6: say someone's your wife, you get a little bit more
Speaker 6: credibility there. But also just like it is nice. Yeah,
Speaker 6: it is nice too. You get a balance out of
Speaker 6: a handshake, which is really an incredible feeling, but you
Speaker 6: get every once in a while, I catch myself going
Speaker 6: like that's my wife to myself, like, oh, that's my wife,
Speaker 6: and I'm pretty happy about it, Whereas when it was
Speaker 6: my girlfriend, I never did that.
Speaker 2: So I think there is something about this.
Speaker 6: Like uh, pride of having uh this person be your
Speaker 6: partner forever.
Speaker 2: That is wasn't there before?
Speaker 3: That's cute, that's sweet. Anya, you can speak to this
Speaker 3: as well. How has that it been for you to say,
Speaker 3: my husband, have you been in?
Speaker 1: Seems happier?
Speaker 3: Okay, so that answered how you feel like Matt seems happier.
Speaker 1: No, No, I just noticed that, and it was striking.
Speaker 1: I was like, he seems happier. What's going on? I
Speaker 1: mean it might be related to something else, but that's
Speaker 1: and then I'm I ask I guess because I didn't
Speaker 1: feel the thing that everyone's like, it's different.
Speaker 3: It's like people never say it's different, they're just saying
Speaker 3: it's the same. I hear mostly, I would say ninety
Speaker 3: percent of the time, I hear it's just the same,
Speaker 3: especially if the people were living together before.
Speaker 1: Maybe I've only heard a couple of people say it's different,
Speaker 1: and that stuck in my head. So I'm like, I
Speaker 1: wonder how it's different, but it is. I'm noticing a
Speaker 1: very subtle difference of like slightly more tenderness towards one
Speaker 1: another or this like slight. It's not respect, it's just
Speaker 1: like protectiveness. Yeah, Like I guess we're gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: like take care of like We're gonna look after one
Speaker 1: another till we're old forever like this. So there's this
Speaker 1: new attitude of like all of a sudden, we're talking
Speaker 1: about like long term things, you know, where we weren't
Speaker 1: so much for And it's just like I don't know,
Speaker 1: a weird a sweet.
Speaker 6: Or maybe it's like she's going to take care of
Speaker 6: me when I'm old, so I better be nice to
Speaker 6: her now or else.
Speaker 3: She's gotta we got to keep her bone health stable.
Speaker 1: Supplements a night.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I.
Speaker 6: If I mean to her now when I'm in a
Speaker 6: wheelchair and can't think she's going to be switching out
Speaker 6: my pills and hitting with a ruler and ship.
Speaker 3: We're like you I look at sometimes like you know,
Speaker 3: the way my parents eat, Like you think about the
Speaker 3: way your parents eat or the way the things they do,
Speaker 3: and I'm just like, we need to keep you around.
Speaker 3: Like when you start to think about someone's demise or
Speaker 3: like the long term, like towards the end where you're like,
Speaker 3: we want to prolong this, you start to kind of
Speaker 3: nitpick about little things about them, Like I think that
Speaker 3: if christ and I got married, I might start to
Speaker 3: be like, let's look into other food alternatives for you
Speaker 3: so that you you know, because or we should talk
Speaker 3: about like when you are in a coma, like can
Speaker 3: I date other people because we need a plan or whatever.
Speaker 3: You know that's a joke obviously, but it's like I
Speaker 3: saw a thing last night that said the more you
Speaker 3: hang out with your mom, the longer she's gonna live.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh God, I need to start
Speaker 3: hanging out with my mom more, because yeah, I just
Speaker 3: want them. And then I was listening to this other
Speaker 3: podcast when I went to sleep, Sam Harris with Peter
Speaker 3: Atiya Atiya Tila, and he was talking about longevity and
Speaker 3: he is like he's working this guy, this doctor. All
Speaker 3: he does is work on how to get people to
Speaker 3: live longer. And there was just like, I don't even
Speaker 3: want to say it. This just such a bummer. But
Speaker 3: it's like, if you break your hip after the age
Speaker 3: of sixty, you have a like ninety percent chance of
Speaker 3: dying twenty years earlier than you would have if you
Speaker 3: didn't break your hip. So everything is about don't break
Speaker 3: your femur, don't if old people. And that's why you
Speaker 3: need bone strength, because the only way to break your
Speaker 3: hip really or the most common ways falling and those
Speaker 3: statistics are wrong. But it's something outrageous like that, where
Speaker 3: it's like your chances of living longer are just cut
Speaker 3: so severely from if you wouldn't have bread broken your femur.
Speaker 3: So the goal when you get older is to protect
Speaker 3: your femur because it is the biggest indicator of if
Speaker 3: you're gonna have a long life or not, if you're
Speaker 3: going to reach like your nineties or one hundreds, which
Speaker 3: not everyone wants to do. Maybe, but so the whole.
Speaker 1: Thing is like, yeah, I didn't know I guess the.
Speaker 3: Top of your your pelvis, like at your hip, anything
Speaker 3: around there. You yeah, any big bone you're I forget
Speaker 3: what it's called, but he had some really long name
Speaker 3: for what it is when you break that area, if
Speaker 3: you break a hip. Pretty much I think was the
Speaker 3: thing you which is a common old person thing, but
Speaker 3: it's all from falling and so the whole thing is
Speaker 3: like oh, and he said, this was a very interesting thing.
Speaker 3: He said, so it's all about protecting your muscles, like
Speaker 3: make sure you have you eat a lot of protein,
Speaker 3: and if you're a vegan, you find a way to
Speaker 3: get that in because it's gonna be for you, which
Speaker 3: I don't think I don't agree with. I think it's
Speaker 3: actually very easy. It's just a way for people to
Speaker 3: get to not go vegan. It's like protein, where do
Speaker 3: I get it? It's like if you heard of a
Speaker 3: p But anyway, so he said that you need a
Speaker 3: lot of protein, you need to do muscle strengthening things
Speaker 3: and that he was like, no person. He was like, Sam,
Speaker 3: how many human beings do you think have lived in
Speaker 3: the history of human beings? And he's like, I think
Speaker 3: it's around something like ninety billion people, you know, since
Speaker 3: the dawn of humanity, and he said, I don't think
Speaker 3: one of those people on their deathbed, if they were
Speaker 3: in their old age, would wish they had less muscles.
Speaker 3: Not one. He was like, it's always the thing when
Speaker 3: you get older, you're gonna wish you had more of
Speaker 3: is musculature. And so it just made me I'm trying
Speaker 3: to hire a personal trainer for my mom because it's
Speaker 3: just not some She's never once worked out consistently in
Speaker 3: her life in any way, not for a week, not
Speaker 3: for a you know, like she's walked in stuff, but
Speaker 3: walking doesn't build muscles like you know. She needs upper bodies.
Speaker 3: She needs actual like resistance training. I'm projecting too because
Speaker 3: I need it too, But at least I have had
Speaker 3: some sort of idea of what that is. So I'm like,
Speaker 3: maybe she could if I said maybe if I just
Speaker 3: pay a trainer, and she's like, I don't want you
Speaker 3: to do that, and I'm like, well, then I'm going
Speaker 3: to pay him anyway, and if you don't show up,
Speaker 3: it's a waste of money.
Speaker 2: Mind.
Speaker 3: I think that's the only way I can get her
Speaker 3: to go. I don't know. I just want my parents
Speaker 3: to have les.
Speaker 4: I had one. Well, I still have one. He's just
Speaker 4: back in Arizona. And it's great because you have someone
Speaker 4: who is motivating you, who is teaching you how to
Speaker 4: work out in a way where you don't injure yourself.
Speaker 4: And it's also it gives like accountability, like he's showing up,
Speaker 4: so I have to show up. Yes, And I'm all
Speaker 4: for coaching. Therapist just gets someone to help motivate you
Speaker 4: do good stuff. I know.
Speaker 3: I don't just get her on board though. Nikki is
Speaker 3: so much money. It's like, well, I would pay that
Speaker 3: for you not to die ten years sooner. So what
Speaker 3: is the difference.
Speaker 1: Okay, Shelton's going to be at the gym helpt her workout.
Speaker 6: Well, my mom the same way. She never worked out
Speaker 6: her entire life. She just didn't want to do it.
Speaker 6: And then recently she's she's truly living her renaissance right now.
Speaker 6: She moved into a community in Florida of older over
Speaker 6: sixty five people and made a group of friends, and
Speaker 6: now she exercises more than she ever has in her
Speaker 6: entire life. And it's because her group of friends do
Speaker 6: exercise related activities. They play pickleball, they go swimming, they
Speaker 6: go on walks, and I think for someone like your mom,
Speaker 6: one of the only ways to get her to exercise
Speaker 6: in that way consistently is to connect it with something
Speaker 6: that's not just your exercising.
Speaker 3: I don't know about that, because, well, the thing is
Speaker 3: my mom. I think the only way is to motivate
Speaker 3: her by otherwise your daughter is wasting money, because that
Speaker 3: is her truest, biggest fear in life is that her
Speaker 3: daughter is yours f what on that she does. But
Speaker 3: I'm talking about, like, my mom needs to do more
Speaker 3: than just play tennis or pickleball. She needs to do
Speaker 3: actual weight resistance training. Like how do you get women
Speaker 3: doing that. She's not gonna go to like pool classes
Speaker 3: where she's with the floaties doing exercise in the water
Speaker 3: because the soula respect of it. My mom doesn't do that.
Speaker 1: Would she go with you? Would she might be motivated
Speaker 1: by hanging out with her daughters.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I don't have time to go to Okay,
Speaker 4: get another reality show, right, you're both working out. That's
Speaker 4: like the theme of the reality show.
Speaker 3: I think that's a good idea. I think my mom
Speaker 3: made her Yeah, and she was like, I'm making twelve
Speaker 3: hundred bucks a day for an appearancing. I'll do it.
Speaker 3: I'll do whatever you need me to do, and look
Speaker 3: at my tries. But this pool party was fun and
Speaker 3: it was a weird group of people. Milo Mannheim was
Speaker 3: there from Dancing with the Stars. He was on the
Speaker 3: season that I was on, and it was good to
Speaker 3: see him again because I haven't seen him since then.
Speaker 3: And he did a movie with Tim so Tim knew Milow.
Speaker 3: And then Milo brought another friend who was this eighteen
Speaker 3: year old kid who was like, so like, it's such
Speaker 3: an old I hate to say old soul, but he was.
Speaker 3: I thought, he's like maybe twenty five at the young garage.
Speaker 3: My wife Yeah, yeah? And then who else was there?
Speaker 3: You guys? And then aunt Andrew Colin was there. That
Speaker 3: was fun. And then who else? Oh, David Spade came
Speaker 3: by and then he sent me a text later and
Speaker 3: was like, I didn't know it was gonna be Twinka
Speaker 3: Paloose up in there. I had to duck out because
Speaker 3: there were a lot of like young hot guys.
Speaker 1: David is at one point almost.
Speaker 3: David is a twang. But he made me laugh so hard.
Speaker 3: He gets there, he walks, there's like a three year
Speaker 3: old there right when David arrives. I don't know what happened. Oh,
Speaker 3: Carlisle was there, but like a girl woman came over
Speaker 3: that Tim nose and she had like a tiny baby
Speaker 3: kid that was playing in the pool. And as soon
Speaker 3: as David walks in, he says to me, you didn't
Speaker 3: tell me he was gonna be here and points to
Speaker 3: the baby like he has beef with him. And I
Speaker 3: was like, oh my god, shit, I didn't know. I
Speaker 3: forgot totally about you guys. Oh and then Tim goes,
Speaker 3: He goes, yeah, Dave goes, me and that baby have
Speaker 3: have beef. And I was like, I'm so sorry, and
Speaker 3: Tim goes, yeah, they dated the same girl. But David
Speaker 3: just came in and was like, that's I told. I
Speaker 3: told him later, I'm like, I know that it wasn't
Speaker 3: your scene because he thought it was gonna be like
Speaker 3: more comics and he didn't really know the comics that
Speaker 3: were there, and which was fun. He had fun, but
Speaker 3: he he was like, it was you know, it was
Speaker 3: a little twink fest up in there, And I said, yeah,
Speaker 3: but I knew it wasn't far out of your way
Speaker 3: to go, and I wanted to see you. I just
Speaker 3: wanted you to come in and like say, a couple
Speaker 3: of singers and leave, and that's exactly what he did.
Speaker 3: He kind of like circled around and then Brian noted
Speaker 3: that he immediately like he was like all right, I'm leaving,
Speaker 3: and then like left. There was no like pretense of
Speaker 3: like I don't think I'm gonna go. It was just
Speaker 3: boom gone, which is uh. I love that style.
Speaker 2: He stood up.
Speaker 6: We were talking and then he stood up. There was
Speaker 6: as soon as there was like a a pause in
Speaker 6: the conversation, he stood up and said all right, see
Speaker 6: you guys later, and then he left it and there
Speaker 6: was no production about it where he went by to
Speaker 6: each person, Nice to meet you, good to see you.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'll see you next Wednesday or whatever.
Speaker 3: It wasn't rude, and we also felt like, yeah, like
Speaker 3: if I was him, I also would get out of here.
Speaker 3: We're all looking for that exit as well. Now I
Speaker 3: really wasn't. I was having a good time, but it
Speaker 3: was Yeah, it was fun, and any other things to
Speaker 3: say about it. Brian, it's interesting.
Speaker 6: When you go to a party like that and you're
Speaker 6: looking around, you don't know very many people, but you
Speaker 6: know that each person here is either rich, successful, famous,
Speaker 6: or combination of the three and so. And then what's
Speaker 6: interesting is that everyone else reciprocates that to you. When
Speaker 6: they look at you, they're like, what is this guy's deal?
Speaker 6: There must be a reason he's at Tim Dillon's house.
Speaker 6: And so everyone treats each other with a little bit
Speaker 6: more respect than you would at a different party that
Speaker 6: I've I've been to other parties like that, and it's
Speaker 6: like that aren't in Hollywood or whatever, and people are like,
Speaker 6: I don't give a fuck about you.
Speaker 3: Ye when there's vacation that this person could be a producer,
Speaker 3: I don't know. I ever know, you never know. That's
Speaker 3: a really good point.
Speaker 4: I don't stay from the point that Anya was making
Speaker 4: about how lonely it is is, because then it's like.
Speaker 3: No, there's no question, la as lonely as fuck. I
Speaker 3: just don't think that New York connections are real and like,
Speaker 3: and I don't think that people actually help as much
Speaker 3: on the street. I think Anya gets approached because she's
Speaker 3: a nice looking girl that has like an open, shiny,
Speaker 3: kind demeanor. But I don't think most people are like
Speaker 3: really talking to each other in New York streets in
Speaker 3: fact there's not a lot of eye contact. No, what
Speaker 3: you don't you agree that people kind of just like
Speaker 3: you have to be immune to everything going around you.
Speaker 3: If you address everything that needs help, you wouldn't get anywhere. Yes,
Speaker 3: but like I guess in a way I agree with Anya.
Speaker 3: It is easy to connect because there's like all these
Speaker 3: like New York characters, yeah, that you see on a
Speaker 3: regular basis, and they talk your ear off when you
Speaker 3: get their whole life story and vice versa. I al
Speaker 3: wants talk to someone on the subway? Am I like
Speaker 3: anti social? I've never heard I get the.
Speaker 1: Submary like it's too weird. Work on the street waiting
Speaker 1: to cross.
Speaker 3: For talk to someone and no.
Speaker 6: People will come.
Speaker 1: Up to you and be like, I'm n yu. Were
Speaker 1: doing a survey for a class coming in.
Speaker 3: That's not talking and that's like doing a survey.
Speaker 2: Well, it is come up to me.
Speaker 6: Will come up to me in LA and they say,
Speaker 6: would you like to take five minutes for the environment,
Speaker 6: And I say no, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: But they're working.
Speaker 2: That's not going to make me less lonely.
Speaker 6: We have to remember where the conversation began, which is
Speaker 6: are you which city is Lonelier? And Anya is giving
Speaker 6: a bunch of examples of solicitors trying to get money.
Speaker 1: For Here's my hypothesis. New York feels more like a
Speaker 1: family of people crammed in together, and therefore there are
Speaker 1: fewer boundaries and fears about approaching someone. There. Very often
Speaker 1: on the street, I'll say, you look.
Speaker 3: Stock, I'm stuck on a ship with a bunch of people.
Speaker 3: It's crowded in LA.
Speaker 1: Everyone's in their own bubble. It's more isolated.
Speaker 3: Yes, I agree with any on this.
Speaker 2: I also agree with an on this.
Speaker 3: It's the illusion of like when you walked when you're
Speaker 3: in New York and I'm depressed and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 3: so alone. I can walk down the street and I'm
Speaker 3: surrounded by people, which gives the illusion and does give
Speaker 3: you the feeling like you're connected to people. You're in
Speaker 3: this organism that is like working together, and you're walking
Speaker 3: by people on the street. You can smell people, you
Speaker 3: can hear people's conversations. In LA. You get in your
Speaker 3: car and you're still in this bubble and you there's
Speaker 3: not a lot of witnessing other people. It feels yeah,
Speaker 3: I get that, I think, but I think it is
Speaker 3: the illusion. Even though it does work to make you
Speaker 3: feel more connected, it's still not actual connection, which I
Speaker 3: think is the difference between our arguments. But I do
Speaker 3: agree with you, like you you can feel less alone
Speaker 3: in New York because there's just so many people around
Speaker 3: all the time. Yeah. Yeah, And the thing about the
Speaker 3: parties in LA is interesting that yeah, everyone there. I
Speaker 3: didn't know why everyone.
Speaker 2: Was there and was like, yeah, isn't that fascinating?
Speaker 6: And then you're just like it's like when I went
Speaker 6: to the WGA meeting and I would or or if
Speaker 6: I'm on the picket line I start talking to someone,
Speaker 6: it's like, well, I have to secretly go onto IMDb
Speaker 6: and see what they did, just to make sure I'm
Speaker 6: not embarrassing myself by not knowing who this person. Like
Speaker 6: I didn't know who Miley was. And then after I
Speaker 6: got after I got home, I was like, let me
Speaker 6: look this guy up. And I was like, oh man,
Speaker 6: he did all these things.
Speaker 2: Yeah like that.
Speaker 3: It's weird though, because I was like, why didn't I
Speaker 3: introduce him as he's from Zombies and he was on
Speaker 3: dancing starts. I just I sometimes I forget to introduce
Speaker 3: and to give contextualize everyone and I should have done that.
Speaker 6: I don't think he wanted that. I think he was
Speaker 6: downplaying it because he has tattoos on his foot, a
Speaker 6: tattoo for each project he's done.
Speaker 2: Yes, I know this about me.
Speaker 3: IMDb is on his foot.
Speaker 6: Basically, yeah, he has a he has a little tiny
Speaker 6: tattoo on his foot for each project he's done. He's
Speaker 6: got twenty seven, a little twenty seven for being on
Speaker 6: season twenty seven of Dancing with the Stars.
Speaker 3: He doesn't have twenty seven credits yet, He's just yeah, he's.
Speaker 2: The number twenty seven. And so I asked him.
Speaker 6: I was like, what to each of the things on
Speaker 6: your foot mean? And that was basically like saying what's
Speaker 6: your credits essentially, which I think some people will.
Speaker 2: I didn't know. I was just like, what are those things?
Speaker 6: And he's like, oh, just a little something for each project?
Speaker 1: Is wrong?
Speaker 3: Is oh, yeah, he keeps trinkets. But yeah. His mom
Speaker 3: is what's his name, what's her last her first name Mannheim.
Speaker 3: She was on the Private Practice Cameron Marylynd. Cameron Cameron
Speaker 3: Manheim is his mom, and she wanted a baby The
Speaker 3: Story of Them. He was on my last show on
Speaker 3: Serious and you may have heard the story, but his
Speaker 3: mom it's the coolest story. I had him tell it
Speaker 3: again to everyone there. But his mom knew she wanted
Speaker 3: a kid, and she to this. She was hanging out
Speaker 3: with Marcia gay Harden, who was a friend of hers,
Speaker 3: and Marsha gay Harden was like, I go to this
Speaker 3: pottery class. You've got to go. The teacher is so hot.
Speaker 3: So she brings Cameron to the class and Cameron's like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, this teacher is so fucking foxy. And
Speaker 3: she went up to him after the class and was like,
Speaker 3: if I'm not pregnant by the time I'm thirty five,
Speaker 3: would you want to have a baby with me, and
Speaker 3: said something like that to him, just kind of joking.
Speaker 3: He's like, well, I'm gay, but yeah, I'll do that.
Speaker 3: And so they they would see each other at parties
Speaker 3: throughout the years and that was just their running joke.
Speaker 3: She was in her twenties when she made this first offer,
Speaker 3: and they'd always see each other, and then it got
Speaker 3: to be the time she's thirty five and she saw
Speaker 3: him and was like, I actually would do it, and
Speaker 3: he's like the stunning, tall, handsome guy, and so she
Speaker 3: got his sperm and they made a baby and it's
Speaker 3: Milo Manheim.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that is amazing. I love all that.
Speaker 1: That is so what a great Worsion story. Does he
Speaker 1: know it's sad?
Speaker 3: He yeah, he does. He has a relationship with his dad,
Speaker 3: but he was just like his But his mom was
Speaker 3: just like, I'm I'm not gonna it sucks that women
Speaker 3: have to like wait to find a good man to do,
Speaker 3: like if they want to be moms, Like they've got
Speaker 3: to have all this these ducks in a row beforehand.
Speaker 3: I like that she just like took the reins and
Speaker 3: was like, I'm ready to do this. Let's all that guy.
Speaker 3: Allow would like it makes sense with a woman's egg.
Speaker 3: I'd be like that girl, let's use it. Yes, if
Speaker 3: I wanted to do it.
Speaker 2: Can I quickly? I want?
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 6: Want to give a shout out to a bestie. This
Speaker 6: is a besty shout out. Uh I learned. I learned yesterday.
Speaker 6: Yesterday was Rob Stern's birthday. Happy birthday. Rob and I
Speaker 6: did another social event that's two in the same fucking week,
Speaker 6: which is pretty rare. We went to dinner for his
Speaker 6: birthday at Moon Shadows, that restaurant on the Malibu Coast.
Speaker 2: Have ever been to Moonshadows?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, you had to drive up to Malibu.
Speaker 6: Yes, I did, well, half an hour shorter, but yeah,
Speaker 6: I went to the moon Shadows and this, and then
Speaker 6: there's this couple that are friends with me and Rob
Speaker 6: and I didn't know this, but the whole time this
Speaker 6: uh uh one of my friend's wives, Liz Galalless, is
Speaker 6: a bestie and she was a bestie before I was
Speaker 6: on the show. So then I was like, well, so
Speaker 6: then when I came on with a rude awakening and
Speaker 6: she said no, but uh yeah, Liz Galalless, shout out there,
Speaker 6: she's a bestie and I knew. It's it's so crazy
Speaker 6: and amazing meeting people who are like, I was a
Speaker 6: bestie and I knew you the whole I knew you before,
Speaker 6: and I was a bestie before and then you were
Speaker 6: suddenly on the fucking podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah that is so wid Yeah nice, so cool. It
Speaker 3: is so nice to Yeah, it's when people are busties.
Speaker 3: It just warms my heart and is a different Sometimes
Speaker 3: I'm shocked from different levels fandom.
Speaker 1: Like I know some kid people that are besties, but
Speaker 1: I think that they're kid mm hmm.
Speaker 3: But they're I don't have cuz it's actually cool.
Speaker 1: I thought they were okay, but they're besties, so I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know what.
Speaker 3: They can't be Yeah, so they're cool without you.
Speaker 1: But they like sometimes in their lives. I just yes,
Speaker 1: in their lives, they say they sort of make some choices.
Speaker 1: But then I'm like, oh, I love you now because
Speaker 1: I know you're a bestie.
Speaker 3: Is this like choices you see on Instagram? Like this
Speaker 3: is how we diagnose ka Now, yeah, let's go. Let's
Speaker 3: go to break and come back and maybe we'll discuss
Speaker 3: a little bit more. But we got to get to
Speaker 3: fans with Thracks talking about busties. Let's do that when
Speaker 3: we get back. Right for this, all right, let's just
Speaker 3: get into it. Let's get to fan thracks. Haven't done
Speaker 3: it in a while. Time to get to bestie mail
Speaker 3: and voicemail. Noah, let's let's just get right into it.
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, I'm gonna start off with Kelly because this
Speaker 4: seems kind of urgent.
Speaker 3: Kelly.
Speaker 5: Okay, hey guys, longtime bestie. I wanted to get your
Speaker 5: opinion on a situation. My car was broken into this
Speaker 5: morning and it's my own fault. I left it unlocked
Speaker 5: for the first time in years, but they took out.
Speaker 5: I had a big bag of dry cleaning full of
Speaker 5: all of my favorite sweaters, and one of them was
Speaker 5: this vintage sweater that I'm just like, I can't replace
Speaker 5: it and I'm looking everywhere for it. But how would
Speaker 5: you handle the situation? How would you get over it?
Speaker 5: What would you say to yourself? Would you just say
Speaker 5: that it's gone and it doesn't matter, I need to
Speaker 5: get over it, or just how would you guys deal
Speaker 5: with the situation? Cope with the loss of your favorite sweaters?
Speaker 5: I am trying to my favorite smart all right, thank
Speaker 5: you bye.
Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. That sucks so much. I can tell
Speaker 3: how much that sweater means to her.
Speaker 2: Do you guys have a car broken into? Is such?
Speaker 4: It so violating?
Speaker 6: Violating? It's like, this is my little personal car. I
Speaker 6: don't want people valet parking my car because I don't
Speaker 6: want people in there. But like when someone just busts
Speaker 6: into your fucking car and takes something from you, it
Speaker 6: just feels sold her fault.
Speaker 3: We all leave our cars unlocked, sometimes that doesn't mean
Speaker 3: someone gets to go into it. So it's like it's
Speaker 3: so not your fault. You're allowed, you should be allowed
Speaker 3: to leave your car unlocked. In no way is that
Speaker 3: your fault. Don't let anyone tell you that it is.
Speaker 3: You should be able to leave your car un locked
Speaker 3: and not have someone take your fucking dry cleaning bags.
Speaker 6: So annoying fault of a violent and selfish society.
Speaker 4: You can up so many like violations through stealing, like
Speaker 4: the stealing of someone's security, the stealing of someone's objects.
Speaker 4: You know that the stealing of someone's life. It's like
Speaker 4: stealing is so I don't know, it just it's so wrong.
Speaker 6: Yes, you just take something from someone and then it's
Speaker 6: theirs and there's nothing you can do about it.
Speaker 1: And the person I isn't gonna even value these sweaters
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 3: No, No, it's like they probably got to I mean,
Speaker 3: I don't even want to say what it probably became
Speaker 3: of these sweaters. But how I'm having I'm having a
Speaker 3: hard time emphasizing right now because I don't have any
Speaker 3: sweaters that mean that much to me, But I'm trying
Speaker 3: to think of something that would mean that much to
Speaker 3: me if it got stolen. I'm having trouble conjuring anything
Speaker 3: because I just don't know that I get that attached
Speaker 3: to Do you have anything like but me, me, your
Speaker 3: grandma or anything like that. No, And I guess what
Speaker 3: I would say, And the reason I think I don't
Speaker 3: is because I guess and this probably won't bring comfort.
Speaker 3: So I'm sorry if this is just like the wrong
Speaker 3: thing to say. But we die eventually, and you can't
Speaker 3: take it with you no matter what. Like, at some
Speaker 3: point you and that sweater will be not as one separated. Yeah,
Speaker 3: and it just happens sooner than you want it to.
Speaker 3: But it was always going to be that way in
Speaker 3: the end. And yes, it could be passed down to
Speaker 3: the generation and stay within with people that you love,
Speaker 3: but even they would eventually pass on and the sweater,
Speaker 3: the sweater will eventually be alone in a landfill some
Speaker 3: day and there will be no humans around to to
Speaker 3: take care of it or be with it and that
Speaker 3: wearing it. Maybe I also think that I guess I
Speaker 3: do have a take, which is when I do lose.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I lose things I guess that I've spent a
Speaker 3: lot of money on and I just feel so stupid
Speaker 3: and so mad at myself, what a waste, And I'm
Speaker 3: so angry and how dumb I was. You know, there's
Speaker 3: a story of me spilling the water on the laptop
Speaker 3: that I literally had just opened and bought and spent
Speaker 3: thousands of dollars on and I spilled water on it.
Speaker 3: And my therapist, my my abusive therapist, doctor, my abusive
Speaker 3: She told me, and I'll repeat it again, is that
Speaker 3: don't punish yourself because it sounds like part of your
Speaker 3: sadness is like I'm it was my fault, like I
Speaker 3: did this, and like how stupid I was to leave
Speaker 3: that valuable thing, my car door open when I knew
Speaker 3: that vintage sweater was inside, Like I deserve this or something.
Speaker 3: The punishment is losing the sweater. It's already happened. Don't
Speaker 3: pile on the punishment like you you already got the punishment,
Speaker 3: you know, like you don't need to punish yourself anymore,
Speaker 3: and like suffer with thinking how stupid I am. Don't
Speaker 3: tell people about it that are going to double down
Speaker 3: on that. I know that when I spilled water on
Speaker 3: my computer, I called my mom instantly because I knew
Speaker 3: she would go, why would you have a glass of
Speaker 3: water compete? Like cutting? Why would I do just punish, punish,
Speaker 3: So the punishment is already done. You lost your sweater.
Speaker 3: That's like that would be a severe punishment to you
Speaker 3: if you you know, if you killed someone, someone could go, well,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna take your sweater, and that's what you get
Speaker 3: for killing someone. So it's already in and of itself
Speaker 3: a punishment. So back off in that way. And then
Speaker 3: in terms of dealing with the loss of it, I
Speaker 3: don't know that I am ready to speak on that.
Speaker 3: Can you guys maybe share some stuff?
Speaker 1: It sounds like what's her name, we don't know, Kelly,
Speaker 1: Kelly Kelly. It sounded like you were sort of fishing
Speaker 1: or like dancing around the idea of maybe trying to
Speaker 1: get them back, if that's what you need to do.
Speaker 3: Try.
Speaker 1: My first thought was like, oh, you're never getting those
Speaker 1: sweaters back.
Speaker 3: Not to be harsh, but I think she meant like
Speaker 3: poshmark finding the same sweater elsewhere.
Speaker 1: I see, Yeah, sure, but my hunches that these sweaters
Speaker 1: mean something to you. So my first thought was, like,
Speaker 1: write about this rite about everything that comes up for you.
Speaker 1: Is it like like what Nikki's saying, Like, God, I'm
Speaker 1: so stupid or I feel violated, like Brian was saying,
Speaker 1: is it. Oh, the sweater meant so much to me.
Speaker 1: I had all these great memories, or I'll never Like,
Speaker 1: I have a blazer that I would be kind of
Speaker 1: shattered if I lost, but not because it means something
Speaker 1: to me. It's just the perfect color, it's the perfect
Speaker 1: cut I wear all the time. It's like dressy, it's casual,
Speaker 1: and I've never found one like it, so that would
Speaker 1: annoy me. But like, right about what's coming up for you?
Speaker 1: And then here's the thing I've been working on lately.
Speaker 1: Let yourself feel all the feelings and don't do the
Speaker 1: shortcut too well. I just have to get over this,
Speaker 1: and you know, just get over it, like really let
Speaker 1: yourself feel the feelings, and then this cool thing happens
Speaker 1: where they do kind of wash over you. I've had
Speaker 1: this recently. I just disappointed somebody and they let me know,
Speaker 1: and I was like proud of myself because I let
Speaker 1: myself feel what came up, which was like fuck you
Speaker 1: for being mad at me, fuck you for like telling
Speaker 1: me I disappointed you. I get really angry and I'm
Speaker 1: not used to feeling that way. And then I was
Speaker 1: able to move from that through like it's kind of
Speaker 1: annoying that they told me I disappointed them, and then
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know if I really like this person.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, well, they have a point.
Speaker 1: I did do something not that nice, and then I
Speaker 1: got around to compassion, and then once I was neutral,
Speaker 1: I was able to act from there, so I would
Speaker 1: That's my advice is like, write about all this, let
Speaker 1: yourself feel everything, and don't judge yourself for whatever you
Speaker 1: might be feeling, and then yeah, maybe you'll find a
Speaker 1: new sweater.
Speaker 3: Wait.
Speaker 6: So well, if you want also right now, if you're
Speaker 6: feeling like you'll never get your sweaters back, and it's
Speaker 6: just so sudden, if you want an off ramp from hope,
Speaker 6: because now your hope's been entirely dashed, you can give
Speaker 6: yourself little pellets of hope like a hamster, and it'll
Speaker 6: slowly snuff out the hope over time. So, for example,
Speaker 6: now your sweater's gone, you can believe, which I don't
Speaker 6: think this will work out, but you can believe maybe
Speaker 6: the thief will post the sweater on Craigslist and try
Speaker 6: to sell it, or maybe the thief will donate the
Speaker 6: sweater to Salvation Army to get money for it, and
Speaker 6: I can try to look on Craigslist. I can try
Speaker 6: to look at the Salvation Army, and maybe I'll be
Speaker 6: able to buy back that sweater at some point. So
Speaker 6: keep looking at those things for the next couple of months,
Speaker 6: and then slowly the hope of you getting the sweater
Speaker 6: will decrease, but at the same time, your acceptance of
Speaker 6: losing the sweater will increase, so that by the time
Speaker 6: you lose all you'll be ready to accept that it's gone.
Speaker 3: I like that. I think another thing I would recommend.
Speaker 3: And maybe this is like too soon, because sometimes when
Speaker 3: people's dogs die, I'm like, get another dog, and so
Speaker 3: they're like, I'm not ready for that. But sometimes I'm like,
Speaker 3: but I think it would actually help. I think you
Speaker 3: should get a new sweater. I think you should treat
Speaker 3: yourself as a thing. You stop this. It's my fault.
Speaker 3: I lost my sweater. Feel victimized by it, Feel like
Speaker 3: this bad thing happened to me. I deserve a fucking treat,
Speaker 3: Like if you you know, you deserve some compassion, you
Speaker 3: deserve something nice for yourself because you were victimized. This
Speaker 3: wasn't your fault. So go and you spend more money
Speaker 3: than you probably should, and you treat yourself to something
Speaker 3: you've wanted forever that can replace that sweater now and
Speaker 3: become your new vintage sweater that is your new most
Speaker 3: sacred and prize possession, something you really love and and
Speaker 3: maybe it's gonna take a lot of time to find
Speaker 3: that thing, but now this opens up a space in
Speaker 3: your closet for something new that can that can be
Speaker 3: that important to you.
Speaker 2: It's not opportunity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that goes hand in hand with what I was
Speaker 1: just thinking about, too, which is a lack mentality versus
Speaker 1: an abundance mentality. Sorry, a rape, But I come from
Speaker 1: this a lot. I don't know if this is what
Speaker 1: you're upset about, Kelly, but baby, it is like I
Speaker 1: spent all this money on these sweaters. Now they're all gone,
Speaker 1: and I don't have any money. We don't know where
Speaker 1: you're coming from, Financia. So for me, that's where Like
Speaker 1: I was on a trip recently and it was expensive
Speaker 1: and the trip got kind of fucked up for me,
Speaker 1: like one of the days was going to be fucked up,
Speaker 1: and I was so upset about this, and a friend
Speaker 1: was like, you really sound like you're in this lack mentality.
Speaker 1: What if you were in this mentality of like it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter, I still have eight more great days of
Speaker 1: this trip because one of the nine days was fucked
Speaker 1: with and I'm trying to do that more. Just be like,
Speaker 1: what if I had this attitude of like you can't
Speaker 1: take stuff away from me, or like Nikki's saying, like
Speaker 1: what if I had the money to buy more sweaters?
Speaker 1: Like what would that look like? I don't know.
Speaker 3: And even if it's like you don't have the money,
Speaker 3: just go to Goodwill and a new vintage sweater that
Speaker 3: you can ascribe some sort of meaning to. That is
Speaker 3: like you're giving a sweater a home that wouldn't have
Speaker 3: one before because you're so that something gets a chance
Speaker 3: because you got this stolen for you. That would have
Speaker 3: just sat and rotted and that sweater could you could
Speaker 3: even think about the history of that sweater and how
Speaker 3: that may have been stolen from someone and now you're
Speaker 3: giving it a good home or something like.
Speaker 1: That, and probably somebody needs that sweater. The person that
Speaker 1: stole even though it sucks, they needed to steal that.
Speaker 1: It needed to happen.
Speaker 3: And it was always going to happen. Yes, you parking
Speaker 3: your car where you did, leaving the thing. There's that's
Speaker 3: where the free will. No free will sets me free.
Speaker 3: It was always this is determinism. Things are always they're
Speaker 3: already set in stone of how they're going to happen
Speaker 3: because of physics. It's things are are going to end
Speaker 3: up the way they are going to end up, and
Speaker 3: nothing you can do is going to change that. So
Speaker 3: it was always going to be this way. It wasn't
Speaker 3: your fault. You're not stupid, you're not foolish. Everyone gets
Speaker 3: burglarized at some point. You can't really avoid it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I mean I lost my wallet because I left my
Speaker 6: stupid fanny pack open.
Speaker 2: I mean, how is dumb? Was that? But you know what?
Speaker 2: He moved someone? Now there's someone, uh with my w
Speaker 2: G A card.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, I got this letter last night from I
Speaker 3: hope that helped you. Uh, Kelly. I got this letter
Speaker 3: from Kelsey last night and I'm reading through it and
Speaker 3: it's there's nothing. Well, I'll just say she says all
Speaker 3: these very nice things. She said, buckle up. I'm giving
Speaker 3: you this letter because I'm too afraid of how I
Speaker 3: will actually react when I meet you. Well, I saw
Speaker 3: you meet me and you were ridiculous get it together. No,
Speaker 3: you were so sweet. I made it made my night.
Speaker 3: Also what made me night at the laugh Factory was
Speaker 3: a table of what I'm guessing were gay men who
Speaker 3: were like As I was walking up, they were like,
Speaker 3: we love you, we love you, we love you so much.
Speaker 3: And it was like, just when gay men love me,
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, it means so much, especially sweet women and
Speaker 3: gay men. It's got, it's it's it's it's the best
Speaker 3: because gay men have great taste. I think it's a.
Speaker 1: New Taylor Swift song on the next album, Taste Game,
Speaker 1: Sweet game Man.
Speaker 3: So she said, since discovering you randomly one day in
Speaker 3: two thousand and eight through my YouTube, I'll go, my
Speaker 3: life has changed for the better. She didn't say, algo,
Speaker 3: I did. My life has changed for the better. You
Speaker 3: have taught me to laugh more, be less hard on myself,
Speaker 3: sing more, create healthy boundaries, how not to be play
Speaker 3: guitar more, meditate with Sam Harris, be more prospective, work
Speaker 3: on myself, forgive my parents, be brave enough to go
Speaker 3: to things alone, no free will. And most importantly, you
Speaker 3: made me the swifty I am today. And then she
Speaker 3: goes on to say you are my tailor, I'd say
Speaker 3: you're my Taylor Swift, but you're not. You're my nicky Glazer.
Speaker 3: And anybody who is friends me knows how much weight
Speaker 3: that carries. This is just like, it's so nice. I
Speaker 3: am right there with you, playing my guitar and singing
Speaker 3: with you and Anya. I'm just reading excerpts. You're like
Speaker 3: my sister I always wanted and I've never even met
Speaker 3: you before. How is that possible? How are you able
Speaker 3: to capture the hearts of all as beesties through a screen?
Speaker 3: That is what makes you so special. I think it's
Speaker 3: how you can make us feel special and less alone
Speaker 3: just through your words. It's a gift all of us
Speaker 3: benefit from. I really need to hear this. Thank you
Speaker 3: so much. Also, thanks to you, I'm now a huge
Speaker 3: fan of comedy in general. I now actively listen to
Speaker 3: about twelve or more podcasts hosted by other comedians. Oh yes,
Speaker 3: my boyfriend has tells me I have a sickness. I'm
Speaker 3: a fan of all these comedians and have gone to
Speaker 3: see most of them live, and I would have never
Speaker 3: discovered them if it had not been for you and
Speaker 3: your podcast. So thank you for bringing so much lefter
Speaker 3: and joined to my life. Final thought. This is hers,
Speaker 3: but we'll make it ours too. Final thought. I really
Speaker 3: hope to get to the end of this letter. I
Speaker 3: know it's probably really uncomfortable to hear these things about yourself,
Speaker 3: but I hope you can accept these words into your
Speaker 3: heart because you deserve to hear them. This is so
Speaker 3: nice and you are addressing exactly the feelings I'm having.
Speaker 3: I have so much more to say, but I believe
Speaker 3: you Your time is valuable and I don't want to
Speaker 3: take up any more of it. I've bombarded you enough
Speaker 3: with my feelings. At this point, all I have to
Speaker 3: say is I love you, Nikki and Noah and Anya
Speaker 3: and Brian and all the besties out there. Don't be
Speaker 3: cu And just a reminder of what one million people
Speaker 3: died in nine and eleven joke of ours from way
Speaker 3: back in the day. So that is so nice. Thank you, Kelsey.
Speaker 3: That really touched my heart, and I'll try to remember
Speaker 3: it on days where I feel WHOA, We're worthless, because
Speaker 3: that always creeps into I was Actually I texted Anya
Speaker 3: this morning about because I've been I think the listening
Speaker 3: to Louie a lot has inspired me to like really
Speaker 3: try to delve into these jokes that I have and
Speaker 3: like try to really actually find the truth in things
Speaker 3: that are just maybe just a little thought I have,
Speaker 3: but like, no, let's cover every angle and maybe prove
Speaker 3: a thesis like and that can't really be argued, which
Speaker 3: is always my favorite thing. And I'm really struggling with
Speaker 3: the idea of why people want to have kids. I
Speaker 3: just you know, it started here where I asked Noah
Speaker 3: one day, like why would you want it? Because Noah,
Speaker 3: Noah would like children, and I just want especially when
Speaker 3: my best friends want something I don't want I and
Speaker 3: everyone knows, like I'm very interested in like I'm bothered
Speaker 3: by the fact I don't want things. And I say
Speaker 3: this on stage, I'm like, I'm not approaching this kid
Speaker 3: thing like a Chelsea Handler vibe, which is Chelsea Handler's vibe,
Speaker 3: which I totally agree with her as well, and I
Speaker 3: fucking love her take on not wanting kids and being
Speaker 3: child free and childless, but hers is more like I
Speaker 3: did the right thing. Your life kind of sucks that
Speaker 3: you have kids, And I like that angle because it
Speaker 3: really I send them those clips to Anya all the
Speaker 3: time because we're both child free people. And she's gone
Speaker 3: right now because she decided to go have kids. She
Speaker 3: we just lost her. But she's like, actually I'm out
Speaker 3: of that, Nikki. So she's in labor right now. But
Speaker 3: Chelsea Handler has more of like a just like why
Speaker 3: would you do it? Like I'm living the best life.
Speaker 3: I'm smoking weed every day. I can do whatever you want,
Speaker 3: I can sleep till noon. Mine is more like, yes,
Speaker 3: I can do all those things. I get that, but like,
Speaker 3: what am I not getting about this one? To have kids?
Speaker 3: Clearly there's something about this that I'm missing out on.
Speaker 3: And so I've been like investigating it in every way.
Speaker 3: And I know that we have kids to prosper our species.
Speaker 3: That's the number one reason, because every species does. And
Speaker 3: then there's the emotional thing of like Noah said, I
Speaker 3: want to see the world through a child's eyes, and
Speaker 3: that gets a laugh in my set because I go
Speaker 3: my one friend Noah says, I would like to see
Speaker 3: the world through my child's eyes, and I go go
Speaker 3: to Burning Man like I just to do some asset,
Speaker 3: like I think you'll get that experience. So then it
Speaker 3: gets a let of drugs, but you want a lifetime
Speaker 3: of them and then uh, And then I explored, like
Speaker 3: I think, but I think the answer is and there's
Speaker 3: no shade here whatsoever. But I think the true answer
Speaker 3: is that people want meaning in their lives and they
Speaker 3: don't have meaning. At some point in adulthood, you find
Speaker 3: a career, you pursue that career, you do that career,
Speaker 3: you find a husband, you get the husband, and things
Speaker 3: kind of just settle down and you feel like, what
Speaker 3: the what's the point of me being here? What am
Speaker 3: I here for? And I struggle with that all the time.
Speaker 3: That's like why I have suicidal thoughts. It's like, what's
Speaker 3: the point of me? Like if I didn't exist, who
Speaker 3: would care? And I think that instead of people letting
Speaker 3: those suicidal thoughts in, they go let me find meaning
Speaker 3: in the form of being a mother. And I woke
Speaker 3: up this morning too, I opened my Instagram and the
Speaker 3: first thing that pops up is this do you know
Speaker 3: Bobby what's her name? Bobby out out and off? Wait
Speaker 3: where is it? I sent it to Anya hold on
Speaker 3: once again? Bobby altof She's that girl that talks like
Speaker 3: this and it yeahs rappers and it's just very like.
Speaker 4: My good podcast or something like that. Yeah, like the
Speaker 4: very good podcast she interviewed Drake and Bed and one viral.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah yeah, and she's just like, are you heading
Speaker 3: on me?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 3: And she's just so chill and so cool. But she's
Speaker 3: a mom, she's a young mom. But this quote I
Speaker 3: woke up to, I guess it's from her Cosmopolitan interview,
Speaker 3: and she said, there are times when I think that
Speaker 3: if I didn't have my kids, I wouldn't be here.
Speaker 3: When I don't feel like the world needs me or
Speaker 3: that I have a place here. I know that my
Speaker 3: kids need me, and it got cut off by the
Speaker 3: the thing, but that answers it for me. People feel
Speaker 3: worthless if they don't have a purpot like she wouldn't
Speaker 3: be here if she had kids. If that tells me
Speaker 3: she would be dead if she wouldn't be here, right,
Speaker 3: I don't think she's talking about Cosmopolitan magazine. I wouldn't
Speaker 3: be here. She means I wouldn't be alive. Therefore she
Speaker 3: probably was a little bit. She's referencing I'm guessing unliving,
Speaker 3: which is the way that you're supposed to say it.
Speaker 3: Right now, even though.
Speaker 4: I really like that, I don't know if I agree
Speaker 4: with that though, because what do you know it means
Speaker 4: why wouldn't be here when when parents say like, oh,
Speaker 4: my children are my life or comments like that, I
Speaker 4: think it just puts the onus on the children, you know,
Speaker 4: it's it's I don't know, there's just something without that I.
Speaker 3: Don't I don't think it's because I would be like
Speaker 3: my mom would have killed herself if I didn't exist,
Speaker 3: and therefore my mom really didn't have worth without me. Well,
Speaker 3: that's a lot of fucking pressure. And also, if I
Speaker 3: grow up and I don't really want to talk to
Speaker 3: my mom on the phone every day anymore and I
Speaker 3: don't really need her, is she gonna kill herself? Which
Speaker 3: is a lot of people's concerns that have overbearing mothers.
Speaker 3: And I'm not saying this woman's overbearing or that this
Speaker 3: was a wrong thing to say. It just gave me
Speaker 3: insight into exactly why I think people do do have kids.
Speaker 3: I think I'm getting it now. It's because they need
Speaker 3: another they want a purpose in life, and that is
Speaker 3: the instinct. Because my argument is that animals were the
Speaker 3: only species that tries for kids. Other species just have
Speaker 3: kids and they're like, whoa I just had? Like they
Speaker 3: don't relate having sex to like we're gonna make a
Speaker 3: baby bird. They don't think of it. I really don't
Speaker 3: think birds know that inside their egg is a little bird.
Speaker 3: It's just the instinct pops up. Oh the bird comes out,
Speaker 3: and they go, oh, I gotta feed this thing. It's
Speaker 3: all instinct. It's not like they're like animals are fucking like, oh,
Speaker 3: we gotta try for kids. They don't know. They're just
Speaker 3: fucking because it feels good or because it's the instinct.
Speaker 3: We're the only animals that go, I'm gonna fuck so
Speaker 3: that I can have kids. Kids are like just a
Speaker 3: thing that shows up for almost like predator. It's the
Speaker 3: thing you have to deal with.
Speaker 6: Monitoring their theirlation cycles the month.
Speaker 3: Yeah, can I just goly weird to have like a
Speaker 3: it's a new thing to want to have kids.
Speaker 4: Can I just go back to what we were saying about,
Speaker 4: like kids give me meaning, give my life.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think the the correct approach, or you know, or
Speaker 4: the one that doesn't like put any burden on children
Speaker 4: is kids gave our relationship a meaning. Because I remember
Speaker 4: seeing a statistic that like if you don't have like
Speaker 4: a big change in your relationship, like every four years,
Speaker 4: you're it's more likely that your relationship will fall apart.
Speaker 4: So you know, if the changes, Oh we're going to
Speaker 4: move in together, or we're going to get engaged and
Speaker 4: get married, we're going to have on this special together.
Speaker 6: What's the specistic it's saying, Man, if you don't have
Speaker 6: a big change every four years, you're gonna break up.
Speaker 3: I totally need to agree. We needs a big kind
Speaker 3: of impact to shi people need big announcements, like Instagram
Speaker 3: is just a microcosm of a bigger thing, which is
Speaker 3: like we all before Instagram, we still needed like a
Speaker 3: thing to look forward to humans, like we need things
Speaker 3: to look forward to in life. And when you get
Speaker 3: to be a certain age and you've been working a
Speaker 3: job that and you're not gonna get a promotion and
Speaker 3: you're not gonna pursue a new career and your house
Speaker 3: is the way it's gonna be and you can't afford,
Speaker 3: like you gotta bring something into the shake it up
Speaker 3: a little bit.
Speaker 2: I think that's statistics flawed.
Speaker 6: I think that statistics flawed, and it's it's it's skewed
Speaker 6: by the fact that just most relationships are not good ones,
Speaker 6: and so they break up before four eight years happen,
Speaker 6: and then then they're trying to everything.
Speaker 3: Has to apply it to like one, Like, I'm sure that's.
Speaker 6: True too, But there's plenty of examples of couples who
Speaker 6: have been married for sixty years and like they haven't
Speaker 6: had a big change since their kids went to college,
Speaker 6: and like, well, what happened? What about those thirty years
Speaker 6: where there's no changes happening where they're.
Speaker 4: Just kind of my parents' marriage fell apart when you know,
Speaker 4: like the empty nest syndrome, Yeah, because nothing.
Speaker 2: So a big change happened and then they broke up.
Speaker 2: So that goes against that.
Speaker 3: Study, right, But I think it's like it's it's not
Speaker 3: a distraction for it's not something to work on together,
Speaker 3: whereas an empty nest is a big change in a
Speaker 3: way that it's like a deficit. It's not like adding
Speaker 3: forces project. Yes, I think that there's no Everyone knows
Speaker 3: that people have kids because they're bored in their relationships.
Speaker 3: We all know that's a bad reason to have kids,
Speaker 3: and that people do do that, like, let's save the
Speaker 3: relationship by bringing a new kid, like a new thing
Speaker 3: for us to deflect our boredom with each other. Onto, yes,
Speaker 3: but I'm just trying to I want to do a
Speaker 3: set where I cover. I want to be able to
Speaker 3: go to the audience and have every reason that people
Speaker 3: have kids and have a thing to say about it
Speaker 3: and not being like and that's a shitty reason, because
Speaker 3: I don't think these are shitty reasons. I even last night,
Speaker 3: I said, I get why you have kids. You're bored
Speaker 3: and your life is meaningless without them, which is not
Speaker 3: a bad thing. That's why I do comedy. My life
Speaker 3: is fucking meaningless without doing another season of f Boy.
Speaker 3: That's why I pursue projects. It's not enough for I
Speaker 3: have a weekend off and I have no purpose in
Speaker 3: my life. If I have a day off of work,
Speaker 3: I want to kill myself because I'm like, what is
Speaker 3: the point of my life? So I don't begrudge anyone
Speaker 3: having kids to fulfill that void. But you have to
Speaker 3: admit that's why you're doing it. That's what I want
Speaker 3: people to have to admit. It's like, you're not doing
Speaker 3: this because you've always like, I just don't know that.
Speaker 3: I think people are just scared to admit the real
Speaker 3: reason they do things. People are scared admit they have
Speaker 3: low self esteem. People are scared to and this is
Speaker 3: a separate issue. People are scared to admit that they're insecure.
Speaker 3: People are scared to admit they're bored. People are scared
Speaker 3: to admit my life really doesn't have meaning outside of
Speaker 3: this one thing. I think I'm more I've been I've
Speaker 3: been doing it for many years on stage of admitting
Speaker 3: my flaws. So I'm just more and in therapy, more
Speaker 3: able to do that than most people. But I want
Speaker 3: to get people to a place where they can stop
Speaker 3: putting themselves on a pedestal for having kids and start
Speaker 3: realizing what it really is is that you're not some
Speaker 3: sort of hero. You are in my and actually you
Speaker 3: are a hero in my eyes because you're loving something
Speaker 3: so much that can ruin your life if anything happens
Speaker 3: to it. I think that is completely brave. I would
Speaker 3: never I think it is up there with free solo
Speaker 3: climbing in terms of a risk because you're toddler. We
Speaker 3: all know toddlers like to get into shit, and if
Speaker 3: you don't watch it with like a hawkeye, your life
Speaker 3: could be over. Your toddler could just like run off
Speaker 3: with your life in its hands and ruin your life.
Speaker 3: Completely if something happens to it, or if something just
Speaker 3: like unlucky befalls, disease, whatever, like, you're taking a huge risk.
Speaker 3: So I really give it up to parents for that reason.
Speaker 3: But don't delude yourself into thinking that you are some
Speaker 3: like martyr or like better person than me. That's what
Speaker 3: I kind of want to strip away is like parents,
Speaker 3: I think like they're better than people who.
Speaker 6: Have a different little approach is that it's less of
Speaker 6: just like the reason why you decided to have kids
Speaker 6: is not valid versus, why are you think you're better
Speaker 6: than me because you had kids or why does that
Speaker 6: make you superior.
Speaker 3: I don't think most people think they're better than me
Speaker 3: because they have kids. I think there are a few
Speaker 3: people that do. But I also want to strip away
Speaker 3: the idea that even if you don't think you're better
Speaker 3: than me, the reason you think you had kids is
Speaker 3: kind of not the reason you think like you because
Speaker 3: I have so much love to give and I've always
Speaker 3: wanted to be a mother. No, there is an insecurity
Speaker 3: deep down in you that you're not enough unless you
Speaker 3: put more life on this planet, and that you have
Speaker 3: a job. And we all come from a place of
Speaker 3: that I just happen to have a job that has
Speaker 3: not yet become too boring that I need something else.
Speaker 3: I think that if my I definitely think that I
Speaker 3: could have kids if I get bored with my life.
Speaker 3: And maybe that is not everyone's perspective. People are, please
Speaker 3: write to me and say that is if you have
Speaker 3: a perspective on why you had kids, that is I
Speaker 3: haven't touched on yet. I want to hear it because
Speaker 3: I want to hear every single side of why you
Speaker 3: want to have kids, because I'm trying, in a very
Speaker 3: slightly autistic way to understand another side of human beings
Speaker 3: that I don't understand, and I want I just want
Speaker 3: to get it. Like I I get frustrated when I
Speaker 3: you know, I've felt this way about why do you
Speaker 3: like hiking? Why do people like to go see things
Speaker 3: that they could google image? I just want to why
Speaker 3: do you like cooking when you could order out food?
Speaker 3: And I understand that some people cook because it's cheaper,
Speaker 3: but like some people don't, some people like to cook
Speaker 3: even if they can afford to order out. I like
Speaker 3: to understand people's motivations, So send in yours if you
Speaker 3: have one, and or if if I've hit it on
Speaker 3: the nail on the head. Please send that to me
Speaker 3: as well. But yeah, when people say they have so
Speaker 3: much love to give, that's why I hike.
Speaker 2: I hike because I have so much love to give.
Speaker 3: But like, is it have the love you have for
Speaker 3: a dog? There's nothing in me that goes man, I
Speaker 3: want something more like it's just so there's so much
Speaker 3: love there. I had to give my dogs to my
Speaker 3: parents to get them away from me. I love them
Speaker 3: too much. Like it's too strong. But I think it's
Speaker 3: like a drug. Love is like a drug. People want
Speaker 3: a stronger one. Give me something that's like, Okay, I
Speaker 3: want this dog to like talk, now, Okay, what's the
Speaker 3: what's the version of that? That's a baby?
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: Like, I think people want love, and there's nothing wrong
Speaker 3: with that, but I think that I just want a
Speaker 3: reason for it, and I and people give me too
Speaker 3: vague of reasons for having kids, and I feel like
Speaker 3: it's it ends up sounding like when people describe mushroom trips.
Speaker 3: I just don't. I'm like, I guess I gotta do
Speaker 3: it to understand it.
Speaker 6: That's the problem with kids, though, is once you do
Speaker 6: it to understand it, then that's the only way you're
Speaker 6: going to know whether or not you want it to
Speaker 6: do that trip.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's all you do time.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's only you do shrooms like and then you
Speaker 6: have to raise those shrooms for the next twenty years
Speaker 6: while they slowly suck away your lively.
Speaker 3: I respect it mad respect to parents out there, because
Speaker 3: you were locking yourself into a thing that you could
Speaker 3: maybe not like and that you might have made a
Speaker 3: just was like, we'll see if we like this, and
Speaker 3: shut up to mostly men who are the ones that
Speaker 3: like get stuck being parents and don't really have a
Speaker 3: choice whether or not they're going to be parents. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I would wear condoms. I mean, the fact that men
Speaker 3: ever don't wear condoms is so insane to me because
Speaker 3: at least as a woman in the state I am
Speaker 3: in right now, I think in California, you can still
Speaker 3: get abortions. I get to decide whether that I become
Speaker 3: a parent. Men do not. They just have to do it.
Speaker 6: Then the well, men get to decide whether or not
Speaker 6: they stick around.
Speaker 3: Well, men can you know, run the world and decide
Speaker 3: whether or not women keep their babies or what. But yeah,
Speaker 3: men can just but they still have to pay, they'll
Speaker 3: get hunted down and they'll still be a parent. They'll
Speaker 3: still have to live knowing they abandon their child the
Speaker 3: rest of their life. We've really gotten into it. We
Speaker 3: lost Anya, but maybe for good reason in this last time.
Speaker 3: Thank you guys so much for listening to the show
Speaker 3: this week. We will be back next week, you know
Speaker 3: we will. Thank you for your call, Kelly, Thank you
Speaker 3: for your letter, Kelsey Dobeka And did you just tell
Speaker 3: me why you wanted have kids?
Speaker 6: M