1 00:00:01,360 --> 00:00:04,200 Speaker 1: On Theme is a production of iHeartRadio and fair Weather 2 00:00:04,280 --> 00:00:05,080 Speaker 1: Friends Media. 3 00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 2: You are far less. 4 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,840 Speaker 3: I'm Katie and I'm Eve's. Do you remember the last 5 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 3: time you asked me for advice? 6 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,000 Speaker 2: No? Not really. If I've ever asked you for advice. 7 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,480 Speaker 3: You don't think I got words of wisdom or something. 8 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 1: It's definitely not about that. I usually don't seek advice 9 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:37,520 Speaker 1: from friends like I will if it's something that's really 10 00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:40,559 Speaker 1: super specific to them that I think they could help. 11 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,320 Speaker 3: Me with, Like if you wanted to know how to 12 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 3: be the baddest bitch the side of the Mason Dixon. 13 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:46,960 Speaker 2: Line, Uh, something like that. 14 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 3: It's common for folks to seek advice from people that 15 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:51,760 Speaker 3: they don't know personally. 16 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 2: You mean like a therapist, Yeah, or. 17 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 3: A vocation with less schooling and more direct answers and 18 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 3: advice columns. Day's episode of on Theme is Advice for 19 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 3: the Wise and Otherwise. 20 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 2: So are you super into advice columns? 21 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:11,199 Speaker 3: I mean I have been in my day and which 22 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 3: day was that? The days when my life was in shambles. 23 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,920 Speaker 3: Let me tell you something about me. I hate learning 24 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:22,040 Speaker 3: life lessons. Well, okay, let me say it right. I 25 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:26,479 Speaker 3: hate learning life lessons first hand I'd much rather read 26 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,400 Speaker 3: it in a book or simply watch someone else fuck 27 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 3: up so badly that it's forever imprinted on my brain 28 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 3: to never, and I mean it, never put myself in 29 00:01:36,840 --> 00:01:37,479 Speaker 3: that situation. 30 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: That is so honestly a kav that is so shaby. 31 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: But learning heart life lessons firsthand does kind of suck 32 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,120 Speaker 1: in a moment real bad. 33 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,720 Speaker 3: So when I was in my down bad days, I 34 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 3: would read advice columns and watch Lifetime with you girl 35 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,440 Speaker 3: to see what other pitfalls to avoid. But now that 36 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 3: I'm out of that space, thank you Jesus, I can 37 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 3: look at it advice columns in a new way. 38 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 2: What do you mean by that? Okay? 39 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 3: So you know, I've been doing research for my book 40 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 3: about Black Bookstore. So one of the sources of my 41 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:13,400 Speaker 3: research are the archives of black newspapers like the Atlanta 42 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 3: Daily World, New York, Amsterdam News, and the Chicago Defender. 43 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,240 Speaker 3: So I was just, you know, looking at the archives 44 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 3: and came across an advice column in the Chicago Defender 45 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 3: called Advice to the Wise and otherwise that's a great title, right. 46 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 3: It definitely caught my attention. So I started reading it 47 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 3: and found out that the advice columnist is a woman 48 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 3: who goes by Princess Mysteria. 49 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 2: That's another fun name. 50 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,519 Speaker 3: A marketing genius of the day. 51 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 2: When was this advice column around. 52 00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:44,079 Speaker 3: From nineteen twenty one until Mysteria's death in nineteen thirty Okay, okay, 53 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 3: So I go down this rabbit hole about this advice 54 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:50,320 Speaker 3: column and about Princess Mysteria, whose birth name was val 55 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 3: Lda hill Strotter, and I started to look at advice 56 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 3: columns in a new way, like more as storytelling devices. 57 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,520 Speaker 1: And what led you to that, given that you've been 58 00:03:00,520 --> 00:03:03,960 Speaker 1: reading advice columns and never really saw them that way before. 59 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:08,200 Speaker 3: I think at first it was Princess Mysteria herself. She's 60 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:11,919 Speaker 3: using a pen name. She describes herself as a mentalist 61 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:15,920 Speaker 3: or mind reader, So there's already that element of performance 62 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:20,080 Speaker 3: and personal branding. But beyond that, Princess Mysteria was a 63 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:23,040 Speaker 3: Black American woman claiming to be Indian. 64 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 2: Okay, so she was just making that up. 65 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:29,200 Speaker 3: Yes, girls, she was born in the southern United States, 66 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,680 Speaker 3: but it was common at the time for black women 67 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:34,360 Speaker 3: claiming to have psychic powers to say they were Indian. 68 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: Okay, So I guess it gave them that credibility to 69 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,600 Speaker 1: be considered foreign, I think so. 70 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:44,120 Speaker 3: So that also got me to thinking what makes a 71 00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 3: thing a black thing, or like, what makes a piece 72 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:52,120 Speaker 3: of media black? Like is it the creator, the audience, 73 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 3: the talent, the content. Because with Princess Mysteria, we have 74 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 3: a black woman who is pretending to be Indian responding 75 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 3: to black advice seekers in a black newspaper. 76 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: And I imagine that with black advice columns. Some of 77 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,839 Speaker 1: what people want advice on has to do with race, 78 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:13,840 Speaker 1: of course, Yeah, but not only that. Oftentimes advice columns 79 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 1: in white newspapers wouldn't even respond to black advice seekers. 80 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:21,720 Speaker 1: You know, we're talking early nineteen twenties. A white advice 81 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,479 Speaker 1: column editor was more likely to just want to help 82 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 1: a white person, and if they did respond to a 83 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:30,280 Speaker 1: question about race, they were more often than not like 84 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:34,160 Speaker 1: pro white supremacy, pro racial hierarchy types of And so 85 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: we saw examples of this happening with people. So they 86 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,479 Speaker 1: just wouldn't answer people if they were black, or those 87 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,640 Speaker 1: people wrote in they weren't the ones who were being 88 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:43,359 Speaker 1: responded to. 89 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:47,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was rare to see a question being asked 90 00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 3: by that it had to do with race. So you're 91 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 3: assuming it's a black person, because I mean it's pretty 92 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:57,040 Speaker 3: anonymous writing into these advice columns. So if you're saying, like, hey, 93 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:03,120 Speaker 3: my name is disappointed in the racist system, they're probably 94 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 3: not going to apply to you, or they're going to, 95 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:09,320 Speaker 3: like say, some pro white supremacy stuff like stay in 96 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:09,840 Speaker 3: your place. 97 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,400 Speaker 1: Who cares those advice column names, they'd be real specific 98 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,200 Speaker 1: to the issue that's going on. 99 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 2: For some reason. 100 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,680 Speaker 1: That is a mainstay and advice columns to where the 101 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,080 Speaker 1: name of the person just has to be the situation, 102 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: not just like it's cute not being on. 103 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 2: A smith, you know, not right, not even Jane Doe, 104 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:29,599 Speaker 2: you know. 105 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,800 Speaker 3: But they gotta get they got to give funky with it. 106 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:33,720 Speaker 2: I got too. 107 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:36,760 Speaker 1: So it was very much like staying your place situation, 108 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: very much stay in your place, Negro. So were there 109 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: other reasons that you started to look at at vice 110 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:45,919 Speaker 1: columns in terms of the storytelling in them or was 111 00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:48,600 Speaker 1: it just mostly princess mysterious performance? 112 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 3: No, there are other reasons. So we know that advice 113 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,839 Speaker 3: seeking and giving has been around for a long time 114 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 3: in some form or another. I mean, advice columns themselves 115 00:05:57,120 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 3: made back to the late sixteen nineties. But around the 116 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 3: end of the nineteenth century, newspapers became an ideal form 117 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,200 Speaker 3: for folks to seek advice. 118 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,640 Speaker 2: So what was going on with newspapers at the time. 119 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 3: Well, first of all, they're becoming cheaper because paper was 120 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:15,160 Speaker 3: becoming cheaper, so they're more accessible, and so they start 121 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:19,120 Speaker 3: becoming mass produce, and women were starting to be seen 122 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:23,720 Speaker 3: as newspaper readers, which wasn't the case before. A lot 123 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 3: of the times, the women even though they might not 124 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:30,280 Speaker 3: be the breadwinners for white women, like they weren't really 125 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 3: working outside the home, and for black women, they were 126 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,440 Speaker 3: working outside the home, but they were also kind of 127 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 3: in charge. With the famili's finances and the United States 128 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 3: being one big commercial there were ads in the papers. 129 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,799 Speaker 3: So newspapers were like, we're going to have these ads. 130 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,840 Speaker 3: These women are going to be like reading the newspaper, 131 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 3: finding out what's going on in the economy, finding out 132 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,719 Speaker 3: what's going on in their neighborhoods. So women were really 133 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,839 Speaker 3: targeted in that way with newspapers in a way that 134 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 3: we hadn't seen before. They became more accessible and in 135 00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 3: terms of storytelling, the fact that a lot of these 136 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,839 Speaker 3: advice columns were in newspaper is very fitting to me 137 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:06,159 Speaker 3: because the news is often like called the first draft 138 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 3: of history. Have you ever heard that? 139 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,040 Speaker 2: No, can you explain what you mean by the first 140 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 2: draft of history? 141 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, So, like, say something happens today, like breaking news, 142 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 3: you'll see that in the newspaper tomorrow, and you know 143 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,840 Speaker 3: it's not going to have that analysis of like fifty 144 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 3: years down the road, like all that was going on, 145 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 3: all the implications of that, but it's telling you, like 146 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 3: what's happening right now. Basically, so when people like me 147 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,320 Speaker 3: are going through the archives of these newspapers trying to 148 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 3: figure out, like what were people thinking about this particular subject, 149 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,560 Speaker 3: you're looking at the first draft of that history in 150 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 3: the newspapers. So for advice columns, I don't see those 151 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 3: as the first draft of history, but they are like 152 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 3: people's interior thoughts in our personal worlds, and they often 153 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 3: are colliding with these big societal changes that you are 154 00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:00,400 Speaker 3: seeing being reported in newspapers. And I think the questions 155 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 3: and answers revealed that relationship between the two. 156 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 1: So it was kind of like you got to get 157 00:08:06,600 --> 00:08:09,920 Speaker 1: this professional buttoned up like in a suit version of 158 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,560 Speaker 1: what was happening in the day. And then you also 159 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:15,080 Speaker 1: got to get this like version of the news that 160 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: was a lot more casual. So if the news is 161 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,160 Speaker 1: the first draft of history, would you say that at 162 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 1: vice columns are like an edited second draft of a journal. 163 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 3: That's a good way of describing it, like, send me polished, 164 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 3: edit it for print. Innermost thoughts. If I compare it 165 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,360 Speaker 3: to modern times, I feel like advice columns were kind 166 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 3: of like Twitter. It's like a medium to build community 167 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 3: amongst folks who usually would be strangers, but it also 168 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 3: has that element of anonymity, and you know, people be flexing. 169 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 1: So you're telling me there were people who were keyboard warriors. 170 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: I guess what would you call them back then? Pencil 171 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:56,440 Speaker 1: pen warriors, pen perpetrators, pin perpetrators. 172 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:01,760 Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, there's nothing stopping folks from embellishing a bit 173 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 3: or obscuring some of the facts about themselves to make 174 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 3: it sound a little better in their favor. Or you'll 175 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,080 Speaker 3: have to see people writing in and not even asking 176 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:11,280 Speaker 3: a question like. 177 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,200 Speaker 1: The I don't have a question. It's more of a 178 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:17,719 Speaker 1: comment person after a panel, Yes, just be talking like 179 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,520 Speaker 1: what is your question? You know you have beef with 180 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: those people. Katie and it's so funny to me. Okay, 181 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 1: So I'm curious what types of advice did Princess Mysteria 182 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: dish out. 183 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 3: Oh, I forgot to mention, and I think you'll like this. 184 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:35,440 Speaker 3: Princess Mysteria was a performer on the Vaudeville circuit, which 185 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 3: was like a variety show that included stuff like singing 186 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:41,160 Speaker 3: and mental shows and acting, and she was often referred 187 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 3: to as a magician as well as a mentalist or 188 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:43,959 Speaker 3: mind reader. 189 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,240 Speaker 1: Oh you know, I like that. Black magicians do have 190 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: a special place in my heart. 191 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 3: I know. But you'll have to wait till after the 192 00:09:50,120 --> 00:10:00,560 Speaker 3: break to find out what she was talking about. So 193 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 3: part of her act was answering questions from the audience, 194 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:08,479 Speaker 3: and these audience members got personal. They asked about love, illness, 195 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:12,440 Speaker 3: lost money, all out in the open for everyone to hear. 196 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 3: No shame, but it sounds like they liked the answers 197 00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 3: they were getting, because that was Princess Mysterious segue into 198 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 3: her column Advice for the Wise and Otherwise, And that 199 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,000 Speaker 3: column became the most red black advice column at the 200 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 3: time because even though it was in the Chicago Defender, 201 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,959 Speaker 3: because of the great migration the Chicago Defender was circulated 202 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,280 Speaker 3: around the country. 203 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 1: So all of Black America was locked into her column, 204 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:40,199 Speaker 1: a good chunk for sure. So based on her larger 205 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,439 Speaker 1: than life persona, I imagine that her advice was larger 206 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,080 Speaker 1: than life too. 207 00:10:44,320 --> 00:10:46,960 Speaker 3: That would be a good guess. But surprisingly, her advice 208 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 3: was pretty concise and to the point. She did focus 209 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,280 Speaker 3: on racial uplift, even though she was pretending to be 210 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 3: Indian a little paradoxical there, and her advice was more 211 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,560 Speaker 3: feminist than many others at the time. So if you 212 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,320 Speaker 3: look at a lot of the well known white advice columnists, 213 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 3: they kind of shied away from anything like too controversial, 214 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 3: Like it would be very rare to see Dorothy Dix 215 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,360 Speaker 3: who had an advice column called Dear Dorothy, Like she 216 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:21,160 Speaker 3: wouldn't tell people to leave their husband or anything. Like 217 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:23,520 Speaker 3: they kind of focused on like happiness. 218 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 2: They had to maintain an image. 219 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:29,559 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so Princess Mysterias, she responded to topics that 220 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 3: were kind of considered off limits for advice columns, like divorce, abortion, 221 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,440 Speaker 3: sexual assault. But that being said, she was real respectable. 222 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:40,840 Speaker 1: Because I was just gonna say it sounds like she 223 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: was flouting respectability a lot. 224 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:43,240 Speaker 4: But. 225 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 3: She was like very big into temperance for men and women, 226 00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 3: which I guess might be making her a little bit 227 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:55,680 Speaker 3: more progressive for the time. Okay, so this is Pansy 228 00:11:56,040 --> 00:12:01,079 Speaker 3: g and Spokane, Washington. Pansy says, please tell. 229 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,280 Speaker 5: Me why I always lose all of the fellows I've 230 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,400 Speaker 5: ever had. I treat them nicely and I do not 231 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:06,520 Speaker 5: mind kissing them. 232 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 3: If they ask me to. Okay, Pansy and Princess Mysterious says. 233 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 5: Familiarity breeds contempt. Pansy is an old saying, but truth, 234 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,720 Speaker 5: if you wish to attain the respect of your friends, 235 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:24,480 Speaker 5: be ladylike, reserved, dignified, and above reproach at all times 236 00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,559 Speaker 5: and in all places. 237 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,560 Speaker 1: All times, in all places. I feel like that's a 238 00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,480 Speaker 1: lot to keep up with. 239 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 2: Yes, like what Pansy kiss? 240 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:37,440 Speaker 3: But I do think looking at advice columns that answers 241 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 3: these colonists, we're giving give us a peek into the 242 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,200 Speaker 3: morals at the time, or at least what people want 243 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 3: to state the morals are in public, you know what 244 00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:46,200 Speaker 3: I mean. 245 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, So it was kind of like this Instagram filter 246 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 1: over how we should be acting. 247 00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:56,640 Speaker 3: M and like, for me, it makes me think about 248 00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 3: who the hell is Princess Mysteria to be giving this, Like, 249 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:05,319 Speaker 3: what are the credentials I think a good advice columns? 250 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:07,560 Speaker 3: And I think we're seeing this more and newer advice 251 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:10,520 Speaker 3: columns they have as like some level of expertise on 252 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 3: a specific genre of advice they're giving. So you mean 253 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:18,440 Speaker 3: like a couple's therapist giving relationship advice and an advice column. Yeah, 254 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,200 Speaker 3: but it doesn't have to be a formal degree. Lived 255 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,880 Speaker 3: experience is great too. I know Jamila Lemieux has an 256 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 3: advice column on parenting and she's been a parent for 257 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 3: over a decade. And Elene welter Roth has an advice 258 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,640 Speaker 3: column talking about pivoting, something she's done many times in 259 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 3: her personal and professional life. So what I'm saying is 260 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:38,680 Speaker 3: I see Princess Mysteria doing a bunch of moralizing to 261 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 3: Miss Pansy, But is this really your expertise? And I 262 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 3: find like, do you? I remember when I first learned 263 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,839 Speaker 3: about the concept of an unreliable narrator and my mind 264 00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:55,320 Speaker 3: was blown that you know, a book's narrator could lie, right, 265 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:59,360 Speaker 3: So the people writing in are definitely unreliable narrators, right, 266 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:02,080 Speaker 3: because like you have no idea if what they're saying 267 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,680 Speaker 3: is the truth, or like how much they're embellishing, how 268 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,920 Speaker 3: much they're like trying to say to make themselves feel 269 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 3: good or sound good or whatever. But also the people 270 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 3: giving advice, I like the advice columns that are like 271 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:19,280 Speaker 3: really considered and like specific to that person's situation. Princess 272 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 3: Mysteria she kind of positioned herself as like the relationship girlie, 273 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,560 Speaker 3: so like of course she would respond to this in 274 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,120 Speaker 3: some way. And you know she was over here promoting 275 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,280 Speaker 3: like racial uplift and temperance, so like, this is definitely 276 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 3: something that I feel like she was comfortable replying to. 277 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 1: Why did Princess Mysteria think that she had expertise around relationships? 278 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,720 Speaker 3: Well, I know there was also a Prince Mysteria girl, 279 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,200 Speaker 3: so they kind of did their show together, and so 280 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 3: when they were on the circuit, I think those were 281 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,000 Speaker 3: just the questions people tended to ask, and they kind 282 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 3: of wentn't with that. 283 00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:57,680 Speaker 1: Okay, she had already built up credibility for herself basically 284 00:14:57,760 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 1: just by having him on the road with her as 285 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,040 Speaker 1: a person could speak on relationships. 286 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know she's a mind reader. Somebody she's like, 287 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:09,760 Speaker 3: you're gonna fall in love with someone with Kay. 288 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 1: She might have had some repeat customers and her advice 289 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 1: callin that came to some of her shows. So give 290 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: me another example of her advice. Is there any that 291 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 1: you actually liked? 292 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 5: Oh? 293 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, I found one, very funny and probably something I'd 294 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:27,280 Speaker 3: say if they were to ask me. This one is 295 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,480 Speaker 3: from Sam in Kansas City, Missouri. 296 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 4: Sam writes, Madame Princess, will you tell me the best 297 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,680 Speaker 4: thing for me to do? I left my wife and 298 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 4: came west with another girl. The girl deserted me after 299 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 4: two months, and my wife refuses to take me back. 300 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:45,880 Speaker 4: What must I do? 301 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:49,680 Speaker 3: He's trifling as hell, and Princess Massia lets him know 302 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 3: and replies with. 303 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,480 Speaker 5: Retribution is slow in some cases, but swift enough in yours. 304 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 5: Three cheers for your wife. She is strictly first class. 305 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 5: And for you. If there's worse luck for you, which 306 00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 5: more than likely there is, I hope that it makes 307 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 5: haste and comes to you. 308 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:09,200 Speaker 2: Okay. She was not playing with Sam. 309 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 3: At all, Like, no advice given, just dragged him And 310 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:17,160 Speaker 3: I could definitely see other advice columns encouraging Sam to 311 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 3: like do a romantic gesture that's actually just stalking. But 312 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:23,720 Speaker 3: Princess Mysteria basically told him to take the fast lane 313 00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 3: to Hell, and I respect that. 314 00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:26,080 Speaker 4: Yeah. 315 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,119 Speaker 1: I also think there is a situation of missing information 316 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,720 Speaker 1: here too, though, because this is still just Sam's sid 317 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: and so she was making a lot of assumptions as well. 318 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,320 Speaker 2: She is strictly first class. You don't know that. 319 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:46,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, she was definitely making assumptions. But I like that 320 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 3: she dragged him because honestly, if you write that, I 321 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 3: feel like you left out some other trifless stuff you 322 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 3: did because what you said was already trifless. 323 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,520 Speaker 2: That is true. You shouldn't have sent this Sam Sam. 324 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 3: But you know what, I hope Sam got his life together, 325 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,960 Speaker 3: not with his wife, but just in general. 326 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:06,720 Speaker 1: So you want a happy ending, Yeah, that's very you like. 327 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:09,880 Speaker 1: That is very Katie. 328 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,520 Speaker 3: I want Sam to be be better, Sam, be better, 329 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,040 Speaker 3: Be better Sam. And you know, I feel like we've 330 00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 3: gotten to know Princess Mysteria. But I did want to 331 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,400 Speaker 3: check in with a more current advice columnist and get 332 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 3: their take on advice columns as storytelling devices and on 333 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 3: the craft in general. We'll be hearing from Damon Young, 334 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:30,879 Speaker 3: a current advice giver After the Break. 335 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:45,280 Speaker 6: Damon Young, author of what does a killy makes you blacker? 336 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:47,160 Speaker 6: Host stuff? Stuck with Damon Young. 337 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:50,320 Speaker 3: Do you have an idea why people come to you 338 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 3: for advice? Like we know you're a very smart brother, 339 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,320 Speaker 3: is like that the criteria that people are like that's 340 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 3: who I need to talk to. 341 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,640 Speaker 6: I mean, I think I think there's a few things 342 00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,199 Speaker 6: at play. I mean, one, you know, I'm assist. I'm 343 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,040 Speaker 6: assist ad man. And people like to go to men 344 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:11,680 Speaker 6: for advice, right, particularly about dating and relationship related things. 345 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:16,120 Speaker 6: So first answer is patriarchy, right. And the second thing 346 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,760 Speaker 6: I think that I've been very intentional with just like 347 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,640 Speaker 6: you know, I'm a I'm just a regular nigga from Pittsburgh, 348 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 6: you know what I mean. I Am not like some guru. 349 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:28,400 Speaker 6: I try to be thoughtful, to try to be conscientious, progressive, 350 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 6: all that, but at the end of the day, you know, 351 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,720 Speaker 6: I think when people come to me, it's like, Okay, 352 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:35,680 Speaker 6: they're going to come to Damon. Damon is going to 353 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,960 Speaker 6: try to be as honest as he can possibly be. 354 00:18:38,359 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 6: And Damon also, you know, might be vulnerable, might be absurd, 355 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,679 Speaker 6: might be silly, but you're not going to get like 356 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,320 Speaker 6: some concrete like men need to do this and women 357 00:18:48,359 --> 00:18:50,200 Speaker 6: need to do that, you know. I mean, we're real 358 00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,119 Speaker 6: people out here, just all trying to figure out what 359 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,879 Speaker 6: to do, how to live, how to make a life. 360 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:57,720 Speaker 6: And it's a little bit of time we have on 361 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:01,480 Speaker 6: this earth. And so I feel like my vice reflects that. 362 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: Has there ever been a moment when you gave advice 363 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,359 Speaker 1: that you thought was thoughtful and conscientious and then you 364 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 1: thought about it a little bit more after you gave 365 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,359 Speaker 1: the advice and you were like, I think I would 366 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:14,000 Speaker 1: like to change something that I said all the. 367 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,719 Speaker 6: Time now, I don't think I've given someone like advice 368 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:20,800 Speaker 6: that was like dangerously wrong. Okay, So, for instance, one 369 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 6: of my columns at the Posts, a person that written 370 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:28,440 Speaker 6: in and with concerned about her daughters. You know who 371 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,200 Speaker 6: I think is a college student her daughter's sudden weight 372 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:36,119 Speaker 6: gain and hair loss. And I wrote back in a 373 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 6: way that I thought was thoughtful. She seemed to be 374 00:19:39,119 --> 00:19:43,720 Speaker 6: experiencing a high level of stress right now, and she 375 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 6: doesn't need you to be reminding her like, oh you're 376 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,880 Speaker 6: getting fat or oh. 377 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:48,520 Speaker 2: You're getting bald. 378 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 6: No, you need to be supportive of your daughter who 379 00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 6: apparently is going through such a stressful time that is 380 00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:58,520 Speaker 6: actually having a physiological effect on her. And so I 381 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 6: wrote that out, you know, and I thought and again 382 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,480 Speaker 6: I thought that it was thoughtful. I thought it was conscientious. 383 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 6: But then I read the comments and there were people 384 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 6: who were saying, I, actually, yes, distressing might be true. 385 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 6: All that might be true, but it sounds like this, 386 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,040 Speaker 6: this this young person might have a thyroid issue, might 387 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:20,359 Speaker 6: have an actual medical issue that she might need to 388 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:24,280 Speaker 6: see a doctor about. And again that's something that didn't 389 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,720 Speaker 6: come to me at all while it was while I 390 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 6: was actually writing it. But then I'll read the comments like, oh, 391 00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:32,800 Speaker 6: I probably I definitely should have at least, you know, 392 00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 6: obviously you can't know for sure if this is true, 393 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,639 Speaker 6: but you are you know, I should have written that 394 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:43,200 Speaker 6: in as like a possibility. The advice wasn't, as I guess, 395 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,560 Speaker 6: as complete as I thought it was. 396 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:50,280 Speaker 3: Is there ever a gas between the advice you give 397 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 3: and what you would actually do if you were that 398 00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,800 Speaker 3: person in the situation, Because I know when my homegirls 399 00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,199 Speaker 3: come to me for advice, I'd be like, what, I 400 00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 3: don't his take, don't play with me? Like knowing I 401 00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 3: would not do that, like are you ever in like 402 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:07,639 Speaker 3: I wouldn't really do that? But I'm gonna tell you 403 00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:10,800 Speaker 3: to do that type situation honestly. 404 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,960 Speaker 6: Not as much, not as much like I try. I 405 00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 6: do try to, you know, you know, give people the 406 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:24,119 Speaker 6: sort of advice that I would that I would do myself. Okay. 407 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:27,000 Speaker 6: For instance, another instance with the Washington Post or a 408 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 6: person wrote in about a family member who had really 409 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:33,439 Speaker 6: like shitty, terrible politics, and you know, they were like 410 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:36,240 Speaker 6: they didn't know whether or not to keep this person 411 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 6: in there alives to cut them off. And my vice 412 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:42,200 Speaker 6: was like, yeah, I mean I think that you would 413 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,000 Speaker 6: not be in the wrong if you were to cut 414 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,320 Speaker 6: this person off or at the very least limit your 415 00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 6: interactions with them drastically. Like I'm not a believer in 416 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:55,879 Speaker 6: the idiom that you know. Family, you know, family knows best. 417 00:21:56,040 --> 00:22:00,199 Speaker 6: Like if someone has opinions, or someone has politics or 418 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 6: beliefs that are actively right, antagonistic, actively harmful, actively in 419 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:12,560 Speaker 6: contrast to to what you believe, and and and we're 420 00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,720 Speaker 6: not talking about something like you know, I feel like 421 00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 6: people need to I feel like rich people need to 422 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 6: pay more taxes. No, I mean we're talking about shit 423 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 6: like abortion rights or or trans rights or or or 424 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:28,640 Speaker 6: race stuff or whatever. Then yeah, if you maybe need 425 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:31,879 Speaker 6: to in that relationship, and I don't have a problem 426 00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:32,240 Speaker 6: doing that. 427 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:40,720 Speaker 3: You're more matured than me. That's in your advice. 428 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,280 Speaker 1: You also talk about your personal situations, like there was 429 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,560 Speaker 1: one in the Washington Post that you did where you 430 00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:49,680 Speaker 1: talked about your car was repossessed, I think, and I 431 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 1: was just thinking about, like how much vulnerability is seems 432 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:56,679 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's required, but that it seems 433 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,720 Speaker 1: like you've made a choice to put into your advice, 434 00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: and I wonder how that plays for you, Like how 435 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,640 Speaker 1: you make those decisions to be vulnerable in certain moments 436 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,119 Speaker 1: and maybe pulled back in other moments, and why you 437 00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:12,880 Speaker 1: choose to do so in those moments. 438 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,439 Speaker 6: What a vulnerability is something that I think is characteristic 439 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,639 Speaker 6: of my writing, of my work, and so to not 440 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 6: have it with my advice, I would just basically turn 441 00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,160 Speaker 6: into a different person, right if I were to remove 442 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:30,160 Speaker 6: that from it. Now, I don't pull back now, there 443 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,439 Speaker 6: are times when I maybe hold back. And what I 444 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,679 Speaker 6: mean in terms of distinguishing two is like, Okay, I 445 00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:40,600 Speaker 6: don't have to tell people everything about me, but I 446 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,679 Speaker 6: think one of the things that people want, the like 447 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,240 Speaker 6: when people come to me for advice, you know you're 448 00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,480 Speaker 6: going to get vulnerability. You know, you're going to get like, 449 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,159 Speaker 6: you know, maybe an unflattering instance of me doing a 450 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,120 Speaker 6: thing or a thing that happened to me that kind 451 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 6: of relates to what we're talking about, right, And so 452 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,919 Speaker 6: I think to remove that would be you know, I 453 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,680 Speaker 6: think including that it's one of the things that maybe 454 00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:05,520 Speaker 6: the thing was just made. 455 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,880 Speaker 1: Parasocial relationships are such a thing in this day and age. 456 00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:13,119 Speaker 1: So do you worry about that when you're being vulnerable? 457 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:19,080 Speaker 1: And is there any element of hesitancy around that? And 458 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 1: how parasocial relationships could be formed with these people you're 459 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:23,560 Speaker 1: engaging with. 460 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:27,760 Speaker 6: I mean, I don't have the sort of status where 461 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,919 Speaker 6: motherfucker's going to be coming to my door, you know, 462 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,800 Speaker 6: like fall in love, you know, or falling in whatever 463 00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,639 Speaker 6: or hate or whatever because of some advice. Like it's 464 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:41,120 Speaker 6: not like that serious. But I actually like it when 465 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:44,399 Speaker 6: people feel like a personal connection with me throughout writing, 466 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,800 Speaker 6: because again, that makes them more interested in what I 467 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:47,359 Speaker 6: have to say. 468 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 3: One of the things about newspaper advice columns, it is 469 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:57,760 Speaker 3: like a storytelling entertainment space. Do you try to balance 470 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 3: being informative and anti during the question for that particular 471 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:07,520 Speaker 3: person with entertaining and providing some escapism for the other 472 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 3: people who are reading it that didn't write in. 473 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,920 Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I mean it's it's a column. You're not 474 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 6: just give them advice, right, You're you're actually writing a column. 475 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:19,880 Speaker 6: And so the writing of the column actually is for me, 476 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:24,440 Speaker 6: it would be like the most fun part, Like okay, 477 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,600 Speaker 6: because sometimes people write in and the answer is like 478 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:29,920 Speaker 6: a simple yes or no. But you have five hundred words. 479 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,120 Speaker 6: You know that you got the feel for this column, 480 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:37,280 Speaker 6: so you can't just say yep, that's the end of it. 481 00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:39,719 Speaker 6: You gotta, you know, you got to add some some 482 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 6: stuff to it, maybe tell a story, maybe make an analogy, 483 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,440 Speaker 6: you know, maybe making maybe take them down the journey 484 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:50,439 Speaker 6: before you get to the yes, maybe explore why you 485 00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,040 Speaker 6: Maybe take them like down a hypothetical where if you 486 00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:56,040 Speaker 6: choose no, then this it would be what happen, which 487 00:25:56,119 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 6: makes the yes. 488 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,760 Speaker 2: More more apparent. 489 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 6: But yeah, that was the part that was really interesting 490 00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:06,200 Speaker 6: and fun to me. It's like, oh, okay, well, let 491 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:10,040 Speaker 6: me figure out how to turn this answer into a column. 492 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:13,879 Speaker 2: I think it's time for real credits. 493 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:19,200 Speaker 3: Katie Ease, who what would you like to give credit to. 494 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 2: This week, I would like to give credit to rest. 495 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:26,680 Speaker 1: I feel like that's something I always want to give 496 00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:31,920 Speaker 1: credit to. But I realized the important stuff slowing down, 497 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,080 Speaker 1: of taking my time to do things and when I 498 00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,480 Speaker 1: really need rest and to honor listening to my body 499 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,680 Speaker 1: in my mind when it tells me that I need rest. 500 00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,359 Speaker 2: Shout out, shout out to sleep. 501 00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:44,479 Speaker 3: Yeah, how about you, damon? Who are what would you 502 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:45,760 Speaker 3: like to give credit to? 503 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 6: All? 504 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:46,800 Speaker 4: Right? 505 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 6: So I have an iPhone and if you have any 506 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,360 Speaker 6: Apple products, particularly an iPhone, you know that after you've 507 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:55,320 Speaker 6: had it for two years, they just start self destructing. 508 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:58,840 Speaker 6: And so my phone started doing that where it would 509 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 6: only charge one charger and it was an iPad charger, 510 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:06,679 Speaker 6: and I also had to like make sure it was 511 00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,840 Speaker 6: leaning like up against like a wall and like had 512 00:27:09,840 --> 00:27:11,879 Speaker 6: a weight on it and all this shit so it 513 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,359 Speaker 6: would charge. And so I go to the T Mobile store. 514 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,439 Speaker 6: There's a black woman working there, so I tell her 515 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:24,720 Speaker 6: to issue with my phone, and she's like, okay, let 516 00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:25,439 Speaker 6: me try something. 517 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,639 Speaker 2: So she takes a paper clip. 518 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:32,720 Speaker 6: Sends it out and then this starts going inside, like 519 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:37,360 Speaker 6: the part where the charger goes in right, and it's 520 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:40,199 Speaker 6: just like doing stuff in there just moving like this 521 00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:47,880 Speaker 6: paper clip around and she pulls out so much dust 522 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,600 Speaker 6: and lent. I felt like she pulled out a whole 523 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,560 Speaker 6: entire cheeto at some point. Right then she put the 524 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:58,520 Speaker 6: phone on a charger. Boom, and so my phone has 525 00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 6: been working perfectly since then. 526 00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:01,440 Speaker 2: Wow. 527 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:02,359 Speaker 3: Shout out to her. 528 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:03,440 Speaker 6: Shout out to her. 529 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:05,560 Speaker 2: What about your credit, Katie? 530 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,600 Speaker 3: I would like to give credit to Aaron Ross Coleman. 531 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,560 Speaker 3: He gives the best advice. I'm always going to him 532 00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,560 Speaker 3: for advice, and yeah, I feel like he's a very 533 00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:20,080 Speaker 3: calm person and I'm not so I need a calm 534 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 3: person to like, you know, like let's think about this 535 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:24,439 Speaker 3: like a different perspective, and he's always gives me like 536 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:27,960 Speaker 3: a different perspective that's mostly always. 537 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 2: Better than mine. Love it. 538 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,400 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for coming on on theme. 539 00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,080 Speaker 2: Damon, Oh, thank you, thank you for inviting me. 540 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:34,919 Speaker 6: This has been a pleasure. 541 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:35,639 Speaker 4: Thank you. 542 00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,040 Speaker 2: How can the folks keep up with you? They can't? 543 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:41,040 Speaker 6: Man, can nobody catch me? I'm like, motherfucking leo and 544 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 6: catch me if you can catch me, if you motherfuckers 545 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:46,240 Speaker 6: can now, I mean catch me if you got the 546 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:51,880 Speaker 6: art one. I g damon, young BSB. I'm also a 547 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:54,920 Speaker 6: writer in a residence at the University of Pittsburgh this year, 548 00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 6: so I'm on campus a couple of days a week. 549 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:00,080 Speaker 3: Catch him if you. 550 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,680 Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you. 551 00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 6: All right, all right, y'all, Thanks thanks for having me, Thanks. 552 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,080 Speaker 3: Again to Damon Young for joining us. 553 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,600 Speaker 2: And we'll see y'all again next week. 554 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:19,840 Speaker 1: Bye on Theme is a production of iHeartRadio and Fairweather 555 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,560 Speaker 1: Friends Media. This episode was written by Eves Jeffco and 556 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:27,040 Speaker 1: Katie Mitchell. It was edited and produced by Tari Harrison. 557 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at on Theme Show. You can 558 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 1: also send us an email at hello at on Theme 559 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:39,320 Speaker 1: dot show. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, 560 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.