1 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:06,240 Speaker 1: When a teenager gets pregnant, it becomes a family affair. 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:10,639 Speaker 1: T LC's new series Unexpected explores the ups and downs 3 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:13,760 Speaker 1: of three pregnant teens who are all children of teen 4 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:17,320 Speaker 1: mothers themselves. Parents and grandparents must step in to help 5 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 1: them through this huge life change. Don't miss the revealing 6 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 1: new series Unexpected Sunday, November twelve at ten nine Central 7 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 1: on t l C. Can't wait Watch the early premiere 8 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 1: now on TLC. Go download the free app now get 9 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: to the letter hold on Tight. We got it from Strawberry. 10 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:44,440 Speaker 1: Letter subject stop Sneaking. I know what you're doing. Good morning, 11 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:48,879 Speaker 1: Steve and Carla. I listened to your show every day 12 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 1: on my way to work and was wondering if you 13 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,760 Speaker 1: could give me some advice. I'm a thirty one year 14 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 1: old mother of two and I've been married for over 15 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: seven years. I've noticed that our relations, meaning my husband 16 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:02,520 Speaker 1: and I have decreased to almost nothing. I have to 17 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: almost coax him into having relations. Both times while I 18 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,160 Speaker 1: was pregnant. It was like pulling teeth. My aunt was 19 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 1: amazed as to how I even got pregnant, not once, 20 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: but twice. Anyway, I remember Steve saying a while ago 21 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 1: that even when men are sick, they still want to 22 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 1: have sex. Here's a problem. My husband, in my mind, 23 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 1: is addicted to porn. It's all on the computer. He 24 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: tries to have a password on this computer, but I 25 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 1: know it, so I check every now and then to 26 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 1: make sure it's only females he's looking at. Thank God, 27 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 1: because that was question number one. There are you? They 28 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:40,080 Speaker 1: are usually wider Latino girls, occasionally black girls. Needless to say, 29 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 1: I am African American. Anyway, I noticed that in the 30 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 1: middle of the night he makes a trip to the 31 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 1: hall linen closet to obtain a wash cloth. I mean, 32 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: I am not stupid. I know what he's doing. I 33 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,800 Speaker 1: once found over a hundred tapes and DVDs in the basement. 34 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: My question to you all is what can I do 35 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 1: to change his interests from the computer? To me, Steve, 36 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 1: don't tear me up to you bad. But I have 37 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,280 Speaker 1: to mention I am a very attractive young lady and 38 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: have the opportunity at any time to have my needs 39 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,160 Speaker 1: met outside the home. But he is the father of 40 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:11,560 Speaker 1: my children and I love him and would not do 41 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 1: that even though we average three times a year. I 42 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: want to have relations with him and only him. Stop 43 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: using all my washcloth. Okay, contrary to what's contrary, you 44 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: know what, Contrary to what some people think pornography is harmful, 45 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 1: it is not harmless, Okay. It can be very destructive 46 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 1: in a marriage and a relationship because what happens is 47 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,400 Speaker 1: the more you see, the more you need to keep 48 00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:42,919 Speaker 1: you or or to get you stimulated regular or just 49 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 1: like normal stuff doesn't hold your interests anymore, and it 50 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 1: makes your wife feel betrayed. It can make her feel helpless. 51 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,799 Speaker 1: You know, she may not, she may feel responsible and unattractive, 52 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,440 Speaker 1: but she says she's an attractive mother of two whose 53 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 1: husband is addicted to porn has plenty pretty much lost 54 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 1: his interest in being intimate with her. That's why, to me, 55 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,359 Speaker 1: porn is dangerous. You know, if I could say anything 56 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: to your husband, it would be that anything that takes 57 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: you away from or captures your mind in such a 58 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 1: way that you put it over your wife in marriage, 59 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: that's wrong. You know, your wife and her needs should 60 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: come first, and any kind of addiction can be detrimental 61 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,639 Speaker 1: to your relationship, be a drugs, food, shopping, gambling, et cetera. 62 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 1: Whatever it is. But you, as his wife are gonna 63 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:31,079 Speaker 1: have to stop, you know, just step up, speak to him, 64 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: Talk to him, tell him what you told us, that 65 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: you love him, you want only him, and that uh, 66 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,440 Speaker 1: you know that both of you are going to have 67 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: to work out this problem. Tell him how you feel 68 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 1: about it, Tell him that you need intimacy in your marriage, 69 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 1: and suggest that he get help for his porn addiction 70 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 1: because it is taking a toll on your marriage. Uh. 71 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 1: And if all else sails, you know, go on his computer. 72 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 1: You've got the past where delete everything? Steve, Yep, that's 73 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 1: it and they're married seven. I'm so scared for this 74 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: boy to answer this. I am too. What was he yesterday? 75 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 1: The code cracker? Most take consideration before I answer this 76 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,120 Speaker 1: and have while y'all on commercial break, I'm gonna be 77 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 1: in proud when I come back. I she'll respond. Come on, 78 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: Steve with your response to part two of today's Strawberry letter. 79 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 1: I want to just say, shut your damn but I 80 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 1: have come on. Good morning, Steve, Sherlett, Tommy and Carl. 81 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 1: I listen to your every day. I'm my way to 82 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,160 Speaker 1: work and was wondering if you could give me some advice. 83 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 1: I'm a thirty one year mother too, and have been 84 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:43,040 Speaker 1: married over seven years. I've noticed that our relations, meaning 85 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,599 Speaker 1: my husband and I have deceased to almost nothing. I 86 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 1: have to almost coaxed him and having relations both times 87 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: while I was pregnant, it was like pulling teeth. Man 88 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:54,479 Speaker 1: was amazed. As a high I even got pregnant, not once, 89 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:57,280 Speaker 1: but twice. Anyway, I remember Steve saying a while ago 90 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:59,520 Speaker 1: that even when me and are sick, they still want 91 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: to have six X. Here's the problem. My husband, in 92 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: my mind, is addicted to point it's all on the computer. 93 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:08,039 Speaker 1: He tries to have a password on his computer, but 94 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,440 Speaker 1: I know it, so I check every now and then 95 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 1: to make sure it's only females he's looking at. Thank god, 96 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:18,360 Speaker 1: because that was question number one. They are usually white 97 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:22,000 Speaker 1: or Latino girls, occasionally black girls. Needless to say, I'm 98 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,360 Speaker 1: African American. Anyway, I noticed that in the middle of 99 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 1: the night he makes a trip to the hall living 100 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: closet to obtain a washcloth. I mean, I am not stupid. 101 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,440 Speaker 1: I know what he is doing. I once found over 102 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,840 Speaker 1: one hundred tapes and DVDs in the basement. My question 103 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,160 Speaker 1: to you all is what can I do to change 104 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 1: his interest from the computer to me, Steve, don't tell 105 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,480 Speaker 1: me I'm too bad, but I have to mention that 106 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:48,279 Speaker 1: I'm a very attractive young lady and had the opportunity 107 00:05:48,279 --> 00:05:50,599 Speaker 1: in any time to have my knees man outside the home. 108 00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: But here's the father of my children. I love him 109 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,760 Speaker 1: and will not do that, even though we average three 110 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:59,159 Speaker 1: times a year. I want to have relations with him 111 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: and only him. Stop using my wash cloth. Well. After 112 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: praying about this so that I wouldn't turn this into 113 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: something vugal in case we didn't lose the show, because 114 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:16,679 Speaker 1: that's what the letter is, I decided that today's sermon 115 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 1: should be on this subject. Stop using all of my 116 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:30,320 Speaker 1: wash clothe take your time now, I ventured to say, 117 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:34,719 Speaker 1: let's break the letter down line by line, bit by bit. 118 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:39,640 Speaker 1: Come on here now. Your aunt was amazed how you 119 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: even got pregnant, not once, but twice. If you're only 120 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:49,040 Speaker 1: loving somebody three times a year and you wind up 121 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: pregnant two times, I want to commend your husband for 122 00:06:54,320 --> 00:07:03,839 Speaker 1: being virile, full of villa in life. It's qualified to 123 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,840 Speaker 1: be a fox. Go to verse three now I didn't. 124 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,800 Speaker 1: As we move on, I remember Steve saying a while 125 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: ago that even when me and are sick, they still 126 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:18,120 Speaker 1: want to have sex. Or you don't have to print 127 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,800 Speaker 1: that back to me. That's a non fat to every 128 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: man living. Come on, we'll have sex whether we're sick. 129 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:28,320 Speaker 1: We can get a goal bladder operation and want to 130 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: have sex that even we can get our tubes tied. 131 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:36,360 Speaker 1: You get your tubes to have sex. Right after that, 132 00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:40,720 Speaker 1: I had a case of here rods one time, screaming 133 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: and bland up swoon so big. When I sat on 134 00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 1: the toilet they hung in the cool lay. I would 135 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,680 Speaker 1: flush to get relief, and right after that I still 136 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: wanted to have sex just with my gut. True. Come on, 137 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: you don't understand where we act with sex? Important? It 138 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: is it? But now your man is having sex on 139 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 1: the comprooter. That's your on the it's on the comprooter. Okay, 140 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 1: Now I ventured to say that it is always white 141 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 1: girls and latinos. Well, let me say this to your 142 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 1: black girl. Maybe when he went to Louis senor Reado, 143 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,800 Speaker 1: he get it just high wanted high wanted hut away. 144 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 1: Now you're thinking just because you find and attractive and 145 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 1: you could get yours outside the house. Yeah, Well, let 146 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:36,520 Speaker 1: me tell you something. My Deacon Boomerang's grandmother wants saying, 147 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 1: what is it that no matter how fine a woman 148 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:43,400 Speaker 1: he is, there's a man somewhere sick and tired of 149 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 1: know you asked me not to cut you up too bad, 150 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:53,839 Speaker 1: But let's just talk about really how stupid you are 151 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 1: you letting your man get up every night in the 152 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,199 Speaker 1: middle of the night, stand with around to the linen 153 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 1: closet and get a watch cloth to go do what 154 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,280 Speaker 1: you know what he's doing. But guess what what if 155 00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 1: you ain't had a meeting with him? Body, Come on, 156 00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: you ain't pulling him into the pastor's office for confrontation 157 00:09:13,559 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 1: if you just keep letting him get the wash clothes 158 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: and go meet with little senior reader and send it 159 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:25,040 Speaker 1: bubblicious and and and stinging, ain't and oh oh and 160 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:30,439 Speaker 1: little amen, and he pulling blood, he slapping on lapt 161 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:37,280 Speaker 1: you on, got the planting over the bed, and now 162 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:41,679 Speaker 1: you are upset because all you can think of stop 163 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 1: using my wash clothes, stop losing my wash. Come on, 164 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:52,160 Speaker 1: hip hopsta, why don't you quit saying stop and start 165 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:56,439 Speaker 1: saying start? Why don't you cut the comprot on yourself? 166 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:59,679 Speaker 1: Find out what they're doing on the comprove that's right, 167 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: duplicated in your bed, cause if you don't, he ain't 168 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,839 Speaker 1: been to stop using to watch clause. Maybe you're gonna 169 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:12,440 Speaker 1: need to get with your friends and tell them for Christmas, 170 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: and tell them for your birthday gifts. What you want 171 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 1: is a gift called down in bed. Yes, so you 172 00:10:20,679 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 1: ain't got to keep using them same wash clause, that's right, 173 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:28,680 Speaker 1: that's right. I will want to know what your address is, Yes, 174 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: so I can know that if I'm ever visited, to 175 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 1: make sure I don't drive my head not a wash. 176 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: I want to know who you are, what city you 177 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,320 Speaker 1: live in, that's right. So when I come to your house, 178 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: I'll bring a roll of paper tier. Yes, I want 179 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,319 Speaker 1: to know what's one of the wash claws he been using. 180 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 1: That's right, to make sure I don't mess around and 181 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 1: dab the myth one of them wash claws. Come on, 182 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:01,280 Speaker 1: I don't want that. We're thinking be at your house 183 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,559 Speaker 1: one day, yeah, and think it's okay, And I mean 184 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,960 Speaker 1: that trying to get clean and I got that nat 185 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,640 Speaker 1: all up from them. I don't want to wash no 186 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: dog cracks or crevices, take hold wash claue taking horse 187 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 1: he'd been in there with a little senior read up. Yeah, 188 00:11:19,120 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 1: getting a little half. Don't stop get again. Know we 189 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:26,920 Speaker 1: got to go to great never again here and in 190 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:30,240 Speaker 1: close and I'll say that's right, that's right. Check your 191 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:35,480 Speaker 1: wash clothes. Look at him close beyond if you have 192 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:40,559 Speaker 1: to pull him apart. Don't you wash clothe? Leving in 193 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:44,120 Speaker 1: things you're listening Steve Harvey Morning Show