Speaker 1: Hey, folks, it's ship birthday.
Speaker 2: That actually it was my birthday and Robock made it special,
Speaker 2: but it might have come at the expense of Roboq's mom. Also,
Speaker 2: we showed one of our birthday celebration selfies to a
Speaker 2: friend last night and she started bawling, crying in the
Speaker 2: middle of a restaurant. Also in this episode, just because
Speaker 2: it is your birthday, that does not mean you're getting old.
Speaker 2: Researchers now say aging is not gradual, it's sudden. There
Speaker 2: are two particular birthdays in which we all age durstically.
Speaker 2: And finally, I ask Robes two specific questions every single
Speaker 2: morning before we get out of bed. I especially hated
Speaker 2: her answer to one of those questions this morning, And
Speaker 2: with that, everybody, welcome to this edition of Amy and TJ.
Speaker 2: I love she has no idea about some of that.
Speaker 2: That's why I always write the entry.
Speaker 1: I love it when you say we're going to talk
Speaker 1: about things that I have no idea what you're going
Speaker 1: to say, or that we were even going to talk
Speaker 1: about that. So this is going to be fun for all.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, you're now The one I did keep
Speaker 2: from you for a reason is about the birthdays and
Speaker 2: the research. There's research out there that shows we all
Speaker 2: feel like we're getting older and we're aging, and it's
Speaker 2: a slow process. There are two ages in particular that
Speaker 2: research has now shown that you drop off and you
Speaker 2: just age drastically. On two particular.
Speaker 1: Birthdays, fifty because I kind of felt it, you've hit one. Yep, fifty,
Speaker 1: I felt you hit one.
Speaker 2: But I'll also tell you this, fifty is not one
Speaker 2: of them. Oh okay, So if you you always don't
Speaker 2: hit till fifty, then you've had you prolonged. You're doing
Speaker 2: better than something that was the first time.
Speaker 1: Well like this year, I've really felt it more than
Speaker 1: I ever have. So okay, I can't wait to hear
Speaker 1: really okay.
Speaker 2: But the there are two questions I ask you every morning. Now.
Speaker 2: The one is obvious and certainly it's we're in the
Speaker 2: middle of our marathon training. So it's probably the most
Speaker 2: annoying thing I say to you every single day, and
Speaker 2: it's often the first thing I say.
Speaker 1: You say, are you ready to run? You don't say
Speaker 1: good morning, you look beautiful in the morning. Hey sweetheart,
Speaker 1: how did you sleep? No, are you ready to run?
Speaker 2: See you threw some things in that that made me
Speaker 2: sound like a bad boyfriend. That was unnecessary. You don't
Speaker 2: even ask you don't even ask me how I'm doing. No,
Speaker 2: it's sweetheart, and you look beautiful. It's dark in here, sweetheart,
Speaker 2: game see you. I assume you're beautiful because you were
Speaker 2: last night. Hopefully nothing changed. But the other question I
Speaker 2: have been asking for the past couple of months at least,
Speaker 2: because I don't look at a lot of headlines. I
Speaker 2: certainly don't read a lot of tabloid stuff. But it's
Speaker 2: a guaranteed question I ask you every day, which.
Speaker 1: Is what's the latest with j low yep?
Speaker 2: Every single day, because I don't I just got into
Speaker 2: the habit. I don't read tabloid stuff, so I ask you.
Speaker 2: Oftentimes your answer is, well, I don't know. You give
Speaker 2: me some minor update of some kind.
Speaker 1: Yes, I will either have seen it on Instagram or
Speaker 1: seen it on my iPhone. Headlines and we you know,
Speaker 1: we have said this. We don't believe the headline, so
Speaker 1: it's not necessarily something like oh wow, Ben moved out,
Speaker 1: Ben got a new home. All j Lo is vacationing
Speaker 1: solo in Europe.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: So I've told you all of those things like from
Speaker 1: Instagram that she's actually posted, because that is the only
Speaker 1: thing I actually can believe is something that she has posted.
Speaker 1: And then still you have to infer you know why
Speaker 1: she posted it or what the picture might mean, and
Speaker 1: that's also up for absolute It's no one knows for
Speaker 1: sure why her intent, why she decided to post something.
Speaker 1: But that's my only update I've been able to get.
Speaker 2: Okay, I want to speak. I don't want to speak
Speaker 2: for because you can confirm the entire time when you
Speaker 2: when you have been giving me these updates, I roll
Speaker 2: my eyes and say, well, yeah, I don't believe any
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I said it looks like they're headed for divorce,
Speaker 1: and you said I don't believe it, and I said,
Speaker 1: it looks like they're living apart. I don't know that
Speaker 1: that's true. So and that's fair, and I think that's
Speaker 1: a healthy mindset, especially with what we know from the
Speaker 1: industry and also what we know based on what we've
Speaker 1: been through. Yes, that they don't get it right a
Speaker 1: lot of times, but this time it does look like
Speaker 1: all of the rumors, all of the innuendo, all of
Speaker 1: the insinuations have turned out to be true. We have
Speaker 1: gotten word I was able to. Actually, I don't even
Speaker 1: think I told you. I think you woke up and
Speaker 1: saw it the headline.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I didn't know about it last night. We
Speaker 2: were exhausted from trips and traveling and partying, and I
Speaker 2: didn't know until I got up this morning. And you
Speaker 2: know what I'm going to look, you texted me firs
Speaker 2: thing because we ended up in two different places because
Speaker 2: I was exhausted last night at eight pm and you
Speaker 2: were going it was seven it was seven thirty.
Speaker 1: Actually you're right, it was seven thirty, but you were
Speaker 1: up at midnight, so that's good.
Speaker 2: It's not but I was exhausted and I gotta I
Speaker 2: said good morning. You'll the first thing, wow, it was
Speaker 2: at three twenty two. Oh my god, is when I
Speaker 2: messaged you.
Speaker 1: That's not famn unusual.
Speaker 2: It felt normal to me, though, well.
Speaker 1: They know what you know what because we have not
Speaker 1: spent apart in like three months, and so this was
Speaker 1: the first time you didn't actually like, hey, what do
Speaker 1: you mean? So actually I appreciated the fact that I
Speaker 1: didn't see it until my alarm went off at six am.
Speaker 2: So the at three twenty two I message you, good morning.
Speaker 2: I am so sad. First thing on my phone is
Speaker 2: about j Lo filing for divorce. That was the message.
Speaker 1: You have been invested, I am.
Speaker 2: I have, and this is awful and I haven't gone through.
Speaker 2: And I was going to incorporate some of what people
Speaker 2: are saying into this episode, but I couldn't even bring it,
Speaker 2: bring myself to read through a bunch of stuff.
Speaker 1: Do you know what? This all goes back to you
Speaker 1: and I and actually George Dephnopolis. We're all sitting on
Speaker 1: the set of Good Morning America the day after j
Speaker 1: Loo and Ben got married, and we you came in
Speaker 1: and you're like, this is such a great story seventeen
Speaker 1: years and then making you know they had loved each
Speaker 1: other all this time, they lived different life and then
Speaker 1: finally when the dust settles, they come back together, they
Speaker 1: find that they were meant to be and they get married.
Speaker 1: It is a fairy tale, a love story that we
Speaker 1: all wanted to believe in. And I was right there
Speaker 1: with you. We were excited, like genuinely happy for the
Speaker 1: two of them. George Stephanopolis, however, rolled his eyes and said,
Speaker 1: I give it six months or something to that effect.
Speaker 1: I mean, it was it was probably the correct way
Speaker 1: to look at it. But why he yeah, well why
Speaker 1: why why? I know? And then and then we were
Speaker 1: invested in watching her movies about how she loves love,
Speaker 1: and you and I have both interviewed her and she
Speaker 1: I believe that she believed like she is genuinely wanting
Speaker 1: to find Prince Charming and wanting to find the love
Speaker 1: of her life and live happily ever after, don't we all?
Speaker 1: And I think unfortunately, when you want that so badly,
Speaker 1: the reality of everything complicates that dream or what your
Speaker 1: expectations are. I mean, that's just so it's tough to
Speaker 1: see that all displayed and played out in a really
Speaker 1: public way, especially because of the movies that she made,
Speaker 1: the making of the movie, and then the movie itself,
Speaker 1: and then the real story that's happening behind the scenes.
Speaker 1: It's tough to watch it all unfold. And it's heartbreaking
Speaker 1: there it is.
Speaker 2: It's heartbreaking in my that's all. It was just from
Speaker 2: a human standpoint. The movie she put out and all that,
Speaker 2: it was just from a human standpoint. Anybody who has
Speaker 2: been married that many times, who has been who's had
Speaker 2: that many relationships, who has gone through all that she's
Speaker 2: having to do it publicly, But my heart goes out
Speaker 2: to anybody who's doing that privately. I just happened to
Speaker 2: see all of this because she's in the public eye,
Speaker 2: and I just I don't know how it's being viewed.
Speaker 2: We talk about everybody loves a love story, and they're
Speaker 2: rooting for love, and they're rooting for people to be
Speaker 2: in love. We say that, but then we have a
Speaker 2: very difficult time being happy for people when they are
Speaker 2: in love, right. That turns us off to see somebody
Speaker 2: else so happy, and then we get so invested and
Speaker 2: almost there's glee in someone else's demise, I think, and
Speaker 2: that pain and somebody who would who said so, I'll
Speaker 2: give it six months? I did A might be looking
Speaker 2: how I told you? I told you that we can
Speaker 2: sit back and say, ha ha. I hate that mindset.
Speaker 2: We just don't treat each other like human beings sometimes
Speaker 2: in a scenario like this, and I only saw this
Speaker 2: as a human story, and it is heartbreaking. And we
Speaker 2: always talk about j Lo. Why is the emphasis always
Speaker 2: on her not him? I mean, I'm sure he's heartbroken.
Speaker 2: What's going on with him? He's a couple of marriages
Speaker 2: in and all this. It just sucks man, this was it.
Speaker 2: This is one I could look at and go, you
Speaker 2: know what, the timing wasn't right. They were committed in
Speaker 2: some way for the two decades and not even together
Speaker 2: and then finally the time is right and this is
Speaker 2: it and this is going to work. Damn. I was
Speaker 2: rooting for them.
Speaker 1: I know, I know you were, and I think you know,
Speaker 1: for a lot of you know, we have some connections
Speaker 1: in the sense that we've had multiple marriages, we've blended,
Speaker 1: you know, we've been you know, the blending of the families,
Speaker 1: watching them have their kids be invested in each other.
Speaker 1: That all takes work and time, and you're and it's
Speaker 1: obviously the most important part of the whole relationship is
Speaker 1: that your kids are okay with it. So they spent
Speaker 1: you know, time doing all of that, and it's just sad.
Speaker 1: Then you have, ah, just having lived through that personally,
Speaker 1: I know how painful it is. And no matter how
Speaker 1: much you want it to work or how much you
Speaker 1: hope it works, sadly sometimes it just doesn't. And it's
Speaker 1: also said, when you know there's love there, but don't
Speaker 1: we always say it's all about communication, and somehow that
Speaker 1: just seems to always be what ends up unraveling even
Speaker 1: people who really do love each other. It's it's not
Speaker 1: enough often times, especially with public pressure.
Speaker 2: You know, the I'm going kind of off. It's not
Speaker 2: really off subject here, but it'll make sense to you.
Speaker 2: And and I say, Sabine. Yet people don't know. Sabine
Speaker 2: is sitting in the room right now. We're recording this.
Speaker 2: My daughter eleven year old, but she'll get it. Are
Speaker 2: our latest fascination, happily ever after ninety day fiance, right,
Speaker 2: I got it right. The scene we roll our eyes
Speaker 2: and laugh and it's entertaining and ridiculous and all the
Speaker 2: these things. But it got dark and it got sad,
Speaker 2: and it's the saddest thing I've ever seen in a
Speaker 2: ninety day fiance. The woman who was with the guy
Speaker 2: from Benttonville, Arkansas, I can't remember his name, Ed Ed.
Speaker 2: His dad is Ed. He dumps the woman who has
Speaker 2: a nine year old daughter, I think it is. She's
Speaker 2: in the car crying to a family member and she said,
Speaker 2: if I'd have known, I never would have brought my
Speaker 2: daughter into this. That hit Yep, that stings, and that sucks.
Speaker 2: And this is kind of where my mind went in
Speaker 2: part with the j Lo thing those kids. Nobody's who
Speaker 2: knows what the future is going to look like in whole,
Speaker 2: but you blend a family like that only to go, wow,
Speaker 2: this didn't work either.
Speaker 1: It's the hardest thing to see your kids be in
Speaker 1: pain based on decisions you've made, and I think you
Speaker 1: know having been and walked that road, it is the
Speaker 1: hardest part of a breakup and then having them trust
Speaker 1: you again to say no, now this is the person
Speaker 1: I love. No now this is going to work out,
Speaker 1: and you worry about what that's going to do to
Speaker 1: their viewpoint of how they view marriage or how they
Speaker 1: view relationships, and yes, and all of that parental guilt
Speaker 1: you take with you, and it's a part of all
Speaker 1: of these messy relationship situations we see either on TV
Speaker 1: shows or from celebrities or even people who we personally know.
Speaker 1: You know, isn't just something to gawk at or to
Speaker 1: have an opinion on, but maybe just to empathize or
Speaker 1: at least sympathize with all the people who are involved,
Speaker 1: but especially the kids.
Speaker 2: Well, how would you describe if somebody's described and say, hey,
Speaker 2: what do you know about Jaylah? What's the first thing
Speaker 2: they're going to say about her right.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, she can't stop getting married.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that. I think that's what people would say.
Speaker 2: She's a superstar. She's a singer, she's an actress, she's
Speaker 2: an icon, she's beautiful, she's a dancer, she's all these things.
Speaker 2: How far do you go down before somebody says she's
Speaker 2: a mom, she's a stepmom, she's a daughter, she's a
Speaker 2: sister and aunt, she's all these things. We don't see
Speaker 2: him as human beings. First being right now is is suffering.
Speaker 2: A couple of human beings are suffering right now, So
Speaker 2: that just sucks. I'll stop asking you for updates. But
Speaker 2: about the kids, look we are said at the top here,
Speaker 2: you showed a picture you went out to dinner last
Speaker 2: night with he had a girl's night. That's why we
Speaker 2: ended up. We weren't together last night, had a girl's night.
Speaker 2: And there was a picture from a birthday celebration that
Speaker 2: we just had for five six days my birthday it
Speaker 2: was August nineteen. But there was a picture and one
Speaker 2: of the people who was not at the celebration you
Speaker 2: went out with Morgan that we've had on the podcast
Speaker 2: a good friend of yours, so and you showed her
Speaker 2: the picture? Please please explain because I wasn't there when
Speaker 2: it happened, yes last night.
Speaker 1: So Morgan, who you all, hopefully any good or loyal
Speaker 1: podcast listeners will remember her. She is mine, one of
Speaker 1: my best friends, who is living with stage for metasatic
Speaker 1: breast cancer. And she grasps life like nobody that I know,
Speaker 1: and she feels and she shows emotion, and she's vulnerable,
Speaker 1: and I just love her for all of those things.
Speaker 1: But she has seen and watched me and my girls
Speaker 1: over the last year and a half two years now
Speaker 1: actually go through so many ups and downs with the
Speaker 1: divorce and then our relationship being made public in away
Speaker 1: we did not appreciate and which caused a lot of
Speaker 1: harm to our children. And so she's seen just how
Speaker 1: hard it's been for everybody to feel safe and peace
Speaker 1: and love. And so she said, how did TJ's birthday
Speaker 1: trip go? And we just got back yesterday, and I said, well,
Speaker 1: here's the picture. And I showed her a selfie that
Speaker 1: Annalise took and it had Annalise, my daughter Ava, and
Speaker 1: their two girlfriends, Sabine and TJ and me. So it
Speaker 1: was TJ surrounded by six girls, and she looked at
Speaker 1: it and I just thought she'd say, oh, that's so cute.
Speaker 1: She started crying, and Annalise was there with us, and
Speaker 1: she said, why are you crying? And she's like, I'm
Speaker 1: just this is just the most beautiful picture I have
Speaker 1: ever seen, because I know how much work it's taken
Speaker 1: to get to this picture, and this picture just says
Speaker 1: it all. And I am so happy for you, and
Speaker 1: it made me start to cry. And Annalie said it
Speaker 1: really was a good trip and that that was everything
Speaker 1: to me in that moment because it is so you know,
Speaker 1: and my kids are older, but no matter how old
Speaker 1: you are, it's still tumultuous. It's still it shakes your
Speaker 1: your security in so many ways, and so to know
Speaker 1: that our girls feel safe again is everything.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't after you told me the story, I
Speaker 2: don't know if I want to look at the picture
Speaker 2: again because I might start crying. I didn't put it
Speaker 2: in that kind because we were in the moment and
Speaker 2: just enjoying the moment when we took that picture. But
Speaker 2: it does. It means everything. And there were times I
Speaker 2: think we've talked about it here where you and I
Speaker 2: and so being sa being we're not in the same
Speaker 2: room together. No, we wouldn't do anything together. There were
Speaker 2: times in me and you and Annalise and Eva weren't
Speaker 2: in the same room. We spent holidays apart because we
Speaker 2: were being respectful of what was going on with them.
Speaker 2: There's never a single day that you've ever hung out
Speaker 2: with Sabine that I didn't ask her first, is this okay?
Speaker 2: And then it developed into a situation where I would say, hey, Sabine,
Speaker 2: you want to hang out? She would say, hey, is
Speaker 2: Amy going to be there? I say no, and she said, ah,
Speaker 2: well I'll wait. Really it became a different thing, and
Speaker 2: all that is we laugh about it now. But the
Speaker 2: work it took to get there and to that picture
Speaker 2: was I mean, we two years into a lot of
Speaker 2: work to get to that point. And the picture was
Speaker 2: even more special because you and I we were planning
Speaker 2: to right, We're just gonna get a house on Long Island.
Speaker 2: We're going to spend the time out there. We got
Speaker 2: pool and all these bedrooms, We're gonna grill, We're gonna
Speaker 2: hang I said, you know what, just ask the girls
Speaker 2: see if they want to come fifteen seconds later, you
Speaker 2: were like, hey, they're all in.
Speaker 1: They're all in, and they said can we bring friends?
Speaker 1: And you know what was also cool about the August
Speaker 1: nineteenth date is that was exactly one year ago where
Speaker 1: I was and I would just say, reintroduced to Sabine
Speaker 1: as your girlfriend, because I've known Sabine since she was
Speaker 1: two probably, and my girls have babysat heirs since she
Speaker 1: was that same age, so we all knew each other.
Speaker 1: But now we all, you know, a year ago, met
Speaker 1: as in different roles, you know, and that's a lot
Speaker 1: for kids to take in and to take on, and
Speaker 1: so it's pretty cool to see how far we've come
Speaker 1: in one year.
Speaker 2: There was no awkwardness, There was no for us. It
Speaker 2: wasn't a big deal like we went and hung out
Speaker 2: as we didn't think, oh, this is special. Obviously we've
Speaker 2: been hanging out plenty from graduations and birthdays and all
Speaker 2: kinds of things, but this was one where they elected to, yes,
Speaker 2: let's go celebrate TJ's birthday and all hang out together.
Speaker 2: That was a that was a really really big deal
Speaker 2: and it was a it was perfect. The birthday was perfect.
Speaker 2: And that's weird to say because you think about birthdays
Speaker 2: and said, what do you want? You want to party,
Speaker 2: you want to go out, you want a nice restaurant,
Speaker 2: you want an event, you want a trip, you want
Speaker 2: to something. But the night of my August eighteenth, right,
Speaker 2: it was just the three of us.
Speaker 1: Because everybody everybody had places to be, they came to.
Speaker 2: I went to bed that night, or fell asleep on
Speaker 2: the couch. You were laying on me on one side,
Speaker 2: and Sabine was on the couch on my other side,
Speaker 2: kind of with her feet and her butt propped up
Speaker 2: against me, and I'm still watching TV. And that's how
Speaker 2: I went to sleep on or that's how my night
Speaker 2: ended on August eighteenth. So you woke in the time
Speaker 2: at midnight and say happy birthday to me. But then
Speaker 2: we get in bed, and the bedroom we have has
Speaker 2: a split situation where there's a fireplace that separates where
Speaker 2: the bed is and then there's a sitting area on
Speaker 2: the other side. So you get in bed and I
Speaker 2: lay down in bed, and I was wondering what do
Speaker 2: we do with Sabine because she was all asleep on
Speaker 2: the couch in the bedroom essentially, and didn't want to
Speaker 2: move her because I'd have to. You know, she's too
Speaker 2: big now to just pick her up and carry downstairs,
Speaker 2: so just leave her. But then throughout the night, and
Speaker 2: it was a perfect thunderstorm.
Speaker 1: That night, such a good thunderstorm.
Speaker 2: But I could have my head on the pillow turned
Speaker 2: one way, and I can see the love of my
Speaker 2: life sitting laying next to me. And I turned my
Speaker 2: head on the pillow the other way, and I can
Speaker 2: see my little love sleeping on the couch. That is
Speaker 2: how I went to bed on my birthday, and that's
Speaker 2: how I woke up on my birthday. It was perfect.
Speaker 1: That's so cool. I didn't really realize that, but that
Speaker 1: makes so much sense. I loved that.
Speaker 2: It was absolutely perfect. You know, all I want to
Speaker 2: do is cook because I need to give me a grill.
Speaker 1: Let's do it because I love to eat. So that's
Speaker 1: what we're made for each other.
Speaker 2: That could go badly in a few years.
Speaker 1: Don't worry. I'm going to keep running.
Speaker 2: But I keep but I grill. I don't feed you
Speaker 2: bad stuff.
Speaker 1: That's true. That's very true.
Speaker 2: Now I see you looking at your notes.
Speaker 1: Because the cooking was so much fun. And while some
Speaker 1: of the times we were cooking or cleaning up. The
Speaker 1: girls kind of took to their own devices and started
Speaker 1: playing games, and that was really fun to watch. There
Speaker 1: were card games I don't know the names of, but
Speaker 1: there were spoons. At one point they're slapping. There was
Speaker 1: all the yes it means laughing, I don't know. We
Speaker 1: didn't partake in that, but we ended up getting together
Speaker 1: in on the on the game night, and that was
Speaker 1: we played a game called Worst Case Scenario. I don't
Speaker 1: know if anyone else has ever played it, but it
Speaker 1: was hilarious and the perfect game for us.
Speaker 2: I meant to have. I meant to bring it so
Speaker 2: we could give some scenarios.
Speaker 1: It's like the worst possible thing you could think of, right,
Speaker 1: And whoever came up with these scenarios, I would love
Speaker 1: to just I'd love to interview because they're sick. It's
Speaker 1: twisted and you have to decide and rank which would
Speaker 1: be the worst of the worst scenarios. It's hilarious.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to give me one. Go ahead and shout
Speaker 2: it out to me under.
Speaker 1: A collapsed building, or stitch your own wound on your cha.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's right. Was it a bullet wound? Yes,
Speaker 2: your own bullet wood. There was one that was like
Speaker 2: stitch an open wound on your own chest? Or would
Speaker 2: you rather be stuck under a building? Would you rather
Speaker 2: eat your best friend as you're stranded.
Speaker 1: On an island.
Speaker 2: There were all these weird things, but they they they
Speaker 2: make you think you have to rank them, you have
Speaker 2: to rank well. Anyway, we got really caught up in
Speaker 2: that game. That was a blast, but it was a
Speaker 2: perfect birthday. I didn't get the cake I wanted, but
Speaker 2: I got a cake.
Speaker 1: Yes, So what did you request?
Speaker 2: I wanted a triple layer cake with three different flavors
Speaker 2: on east layer. I didn't think that was that complicated.
Speaker 1: Well, Sabina and I made a two layer cake and
Speaker 1: it was fun fetty.
Speaker 2: My point is why even ask I feel like that
Speaker 2: was a compromise. It wasn't a compromise. I asked for
Speaker 2: three layers, it's two. I asked her three flavors, and
Speaker 2: it's something that a five year ol wouldn't even ask for.
Speaker 1: But it was festive. Okay, next year, I promise you
Speaker 1: it will make you a three layer cake. And you
Speaker 1: just but you didn't tell us like the flavors I did?
Speaker 1: You did chocolate? Oh okay, so fine, Okay, we'll do that.
Speaker 1: It'll be amazing and next year it's on.
Speaker 2: I can't thank you enough though you all. Look you,
Speaker 2: all the effort you put in. You've been saying for
Speaker 2: about a month now, which is a little a little arrogant.
Speaker 2: It was a little annoying. She kept saying, yeah, I
Speaker 2: nailed the birthday gifts. She was saying it for a
Speaker 2: month and you did? You actually did? I don't want
Speaker 2: to the main one, I won't tell until we actually
Speaker 2: it's an experience.
Speaker 1: Yes, that was the big The big gift was an
Speaker 1: experienced gift, which those are my favorite gifts to give
Speaker 1: because you can't return them. They don't get broken or
Speaker 1: lost or don't get scratches on it. You and you
Speaker 1: remember it forever.
Speaker 2: This is a go and this was absolutely perfect. It's
Speaker 2: one and we will talk about it when it comes,
Speaker 2: and it's coming at the end of September, right, Yes,
Speaker 2: so we will. We will do it as we get closer.
Speaker 2: But there was other stuff. One of them was the
Speaker 2: most one of the funniest things I've ever received. But
Speaker 2: it goes back to when were we in LA and
Speaker 2: it's happened.
Speaker 1: That was for the iHeart Radio Awards.
Speaker 2: Was that what month. Yes, so something happened in March
Speaker 2: and you've delivered.
Speaker 1: He delivered, So we searched. I guess it was Hollywood.
Speaker 1: Was it Rodeo Drive?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, we'd have found it on Rodeo.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right on Hollywood. We went to on Marshals because
Speaker 1: TJ thought he needed to stop.
Speaker 2: Stop. Wait, wait, you're gonna say this is the wrong
Speaker 2: way and get the wrong impression.
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say you needed a little extra
Speaker 1: bling on your fit. I knew you you're gonna Okay,
Speaker 1: how would you describe it?
Speaker 2: It's very simple. A lapel pen.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: Men, a lapel pen. It's not a it's not a
Speaker 2: complicated thing. But men are often dressed in very basic way.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm fairly conservative dresser. I'm not gonna wear
Speaker 2: something just wow, very loud. So you just put a
Speaker 2: hint of something, just a little lapel pen, a little flash.
Speaker 2: You can have a little diamond in it. If it's
Speaker 2: a metal even better. But you didn't call it that.
Speaker 2: During an taping of a podcast in La And it
Speaker 2: was the funniest thing.
Speaker 1: Up, I said that you were on the hunt for
Speaker 1: a jeweled man broach that doesn't sound the same, and
Speaker 1: it cracked us up. I was tremendously and so I remember,
Speaker 1: like I think the next day or two, I put
Speaker 1: I always keep a list, like gifts for DJ and
Speaker 1: when things pop up during the year, which is a
Speaker 1: good thing to do because you always forget, I'm like,
Speaker 1: this would make a great gift. I was like, find
Speaker 1: a jeweled man broach.
Speaker 2: You know, let's stop. Get this. This is your public
Speaker 2: service announcement. Everybody's always stressed out about what to give
Speaker 2: their significant other for their birthday or Christmas or anything.
Speaker 2: It is so simple. All you gotta do is pay
Speaker 2: attention to them three hundred and sixty four days out
Speaker 2: of the year, and then when the birthday comes on,
Speaker 2: you've nailed it. Just pay attention.
Speaker 1: I have a notes folder and it starts anew and
Speaker 1: I write them down. And it has been amazing, Like
Speaker 1: I knew something you really liked or someone you really
Speaker 1: like to listen to, and so I thought checked to
Speaker 1: see all of that stuff. And so it worked out.
Speaker 1: And I will tell you it is hard to find
Speaker 1: a man's like a man.
Speaker 2: Broach because they're not out there. They're called the elephants.
Speaker 2: Do a different Google search.
Speaker 1: Probously. I did the other search and I'm just saying
Speaker 1: this for fun, but they aren't that easy to find, actually,
Speaker 1: a bejeweled one. I could have gotten this simple one. Anyway,
Speaker 1: thank you, David Yeerman. I did find one.
Speaker 2: And it's nice. It's actually kind of perfect. And I
Speaker 2: wore it out that day when we lunched and it
Speaker 2: was so you nailed it absolutely. But then the ultimate
Speaker 2: gift was very good. The experience and the card was awesome.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, can we talk about the card?
Speaker 2: What about the card?
Speaker 1: So last year I came over, I was all nervous.
Speaker 1: I was gonna you know, ce Sabine. I was meeting
Speaker 1: TJ's parents. Oh yeah, and I think in the fluster
Speaker 1: of bringing his gifts over, I left the card at
Speaker 1: the apartment at my apartment, and so I had to
Speaker 1: give it to him the next day and he said, uh,
Speaker 1: this is late. It's not my birthday, so it's just
Speaker 1: gonna have to wait until next year when I open it.
Speaker 1: So he is held on to this card for an
Speaker 1: entire year, and then you forgot to bring it to
Speaker 1: your birthday celebration.
Speaker 2: You know what. And I know this sounds petty, but
Speaker 2: I am petty. But I'm fun petty. I'm not I
Speaker 2: like like certain types of petty, but this is a
Speaker 2: petty I like. Right, you didn't give me this gift
Speaker 2: on my birthday, so why the next day? The next
Speaker 2: So what if you had not given me my birthday gifts?
Speaker 2: Somebody doesn't give you a birthday gift on your birthday
Speaker 2: and they give it to you four days later, you're
Speaker 2: going to think one of them.
Speaker 1: It's a belated birthday gift.
Speaker 2: It's a blated gift. So you missed my birthday. So
Speaker 2: that's the way I feel about the card. So now
Speaker 2: we have a tradition that I and my petty ways
Speaker 2: have set up that every year she gives me a
Speaker 2: card on my birthday, that card won't be opened till
Speaker 2: the following year, so it's a delay. So the card
Speaker 2: she gave me on the birthday this year I will
Speaker 2: open August nineteenth of twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: Did you open?
Speaker 2: I didn't?
Speaker 1: You didn't open the belated one?
Speaker 2: You know what I thought it was? You know, I
Speaker 2: thought that this might be a good moment to do it. Sabine,
Speaker 2: can you help me out, please? Baby Sabine has the
Speaker 2: card that you gave me, Oh my god, for my
Speaker 2: birthday in twenty twenty three. You can see it has
Speaker 2: not been opening. It's sealed, says TJ, has got little
Speaker 2: hearts on it. I have not seen this card.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it says.
Speaker 2: You don't remember.
Speaker 1: I have no idea where the card is. I have
Speaker 1: no idea what it says.
Speaker 2: Do we want to commit now to whether or not
Speaker 2: I should read it? You can, no matter what.
Speaker 1: I mean, going, No matter what I mean, it's something.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, this is hilarious.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, there's a whole letter in here. All right,
Speaker 2: let me just read what the card itself, whoever made it,
Speaker 2: says on the front. It's tough being both handsome and humble,
Speaker 2: and yet somehow you manage both. Happy birthday. Now, there's
Speaker 2: a lot of stuff in here that you wrote version.
Speaker 2: I see devilish sense of humor in here. Okay, deeper,
Speaker 2: I fall in love with you the Yeah, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: leave it there.
Speaker 1: I have no idea what I wrote. And you know
Speaker 1: what's so funny. I knew obviously that you hadn't read
Speaker 1: my card from last year, So as I was writing
Speaker 1: your card for this year, I got deeply concerned that
Speaker 1: maybe I would feel the same sentiments and write similar things,
Speaker 1: and I thought he'll actually be able to compare them.
Speaker 1: And I thought about that when I was writing, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is you.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm sorry, tradition is over. Okay, sorry you're writing something.
Speaker 2: Thinking oh my god, No, I was.
Speaker 1: Just like, what if I said the same thing last year,
Speaker 1: because I don't know, but I don't think it's true.
Speaker 2: Well, I won't know until next year, is the thing.
Speaker 1: So also, just to continue the tradition, you gave me
Speaker 1: two cards for my birthday this year, one to open
Speaker 1: now and one to open the next year. So I
Speaker 1: have the card, and that's also stressful to make sure
Speaker 1: you know where you put the card. To find the
Speaker 1: card a year later, I know you have it.
Speaker 2: So I'm petty.
Speaker 1: And that you have a devilish sense of humor. Apparently
Speaker 1: I was already.
Speaker 2: Aware of that. But no, I do thank you for
Speaker 2: what that was. And again, Analyse and Ava and Montgomery
Speaker 2: and Nive love those girls, and again the friends have
Speaker 2: become a part of the family with me over the
Speaker 2: past couple of years. And it was it was a perfect,
Speaker 2: perfect birthday, and I enjoyed it, every bit of it.
Speaker 2: I love that and you and to be made it
Speaker 2: made it really really special. So thank you for that.
Speaker 2: I don't feel older because I haven't hit a particular
Speaker 2: age that they say I'm supposed to feel older. Right,
Speaker 2: I mentioned that the research says that there are two
Speaker 2: particular ages that you just drop off. It's not gradual.
Speaker 2: We don't age gradually. We age suddenly. Seriously, it's not
Speaker 2: a gradual getting older. They say, at a molecular level,
Speaker 2: there are two particular birthdays and ages. They have pinpointed
Speaker 2: the day the birthdays that you drop off to a
Speaker 2: point that there's a severe And I didn't tell you
Speaker 2: this on purpose because I want anything.
Speaker 1: Guess so obviously it's not fifty, because you've just told
Speaker 1: me that. So I'm going to guess. I'm going to
Speaker 1: guess thirty, and then my next guess is going to be.
Speaker 2: There are two ages, so thirty is one.
Speaker 1: Thirty is one for mine, and and the other one
Speaker 1: would be I would say like seventy.
Speaker 2: Five, seventy five. A lot of people they've done research
Speaker 2: on seventy five. That isn't what this research now. So
Speaker 2: what would you say, Andy, Well, if the two ages
Speaker 2: that research now shows people you drastically age at the
Speaker 2: on a molecular level at these two particular ages. What
Speaker 2: would you give.
Speaker 4: Feel like forty is a big one because you're finally
Speaker 4: out of like young, I don't know this category, and
Speaker 4: then maybe like seventy, well okay.
Speaker 2: He's closer. Okay, the two ages that they say you
Speaker 2: drop off drastically in age forty four and sixty.
Speaker 1: Oh wow.
Speaker 2: Research was done. Some of these researchers were out at Stanford,
Speaker 2: but they show on a molecular level that there is
Speaker 2: a drastic drop off in the behavior of your molecules
Speaker 2: at those two particular ages. This study was done luck
Speaker 2: they used over one hundred people and follow them for years.
Speaker 2: But they are particular molecules that actually have to do
Speaker 2: with keeping tissue together. And at forty four and at sixty,
Speaker 2: this now explains how your skin is different. There is
Speaker 2: muscle loss, there is or become heart issues because of that.
Speaker 2: And they absolutely say that you the researchers, that you're
Speaker 2: supposed to give like particular emphasis at these times to
Speaker 2: your health. You're not supposed to disregard it in your thirties, clearly,
Speaker 2: but you need to be giving particular attention to how
Speaker 2: you behave at those ages. Another thing, your ability to
Speaker 2: metabolize caffeine and alcohol absolutely drop off at those two ages.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, wow, But isn't the thing we all don't?
Speaker 2: We all have somebody in our family. I can remember
Speaker 2: my uncle Muhammed when I was a kid, saying no. No.
Speaker 2: When I got old, I was in my thirties and
Speaker 2: he said, man, how do you stay in shape? He said, Man,
Speaker 2: when I hit forty just everything change. Oh yeah, how
Speaker 2: don't you heart?
Speaker 1: People say that absolutely yes. I mean, I'm I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm struggling running training for this marathon more than
Speaker 1: I ever have before. And I ran my first marathon
Speaker 1: at forty six. But I've no to shift. I'm like, WHOA,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to do some things differently. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have to fuel differently. I'm gonna have to sleep differently.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to make some changes because I'm not able.
Speaker 1: I just don't think I'm able to physically do what
Speaker 1: I could do even a few years ago. I have to.
Speaker 1: It's not it's not huge, but it's enough for I've
Speaker 1: noticed it.
Speaker 2: I'm glad I'm getting you now. On the upside here.
Speaker 1: Well, you've already hit one of those.
Speaker 2: I haven't. I haven't felt it yet.
Speaker 1: You haven't.
Speaker 2: I haven't felt that yet. But we were Ernie Hudson,
Speaker 2: we were talking to not too long. The lack of
Speaker 2: a better way to describe the black Okay, yes he
Speaker 2: loves that, he said, seventy. But everybody can pinpoint when
Speaker 2: I hit. He called it mister jiggles or something in
Speaker 2: his stomach. Everybody has a thing when they hit. This
Speaker 2: actually makes sense to a boom. It hits you at
Speaker 2: one time instead of a gradual getting older.
Speaker 1: Well that's good to know. And that actually almost made
Speaker 1: me forget what I forgot this past week. Oh you're
Speaker 1: going there, okay, of course, all right. Just wanted to
Speaker 1: make sure I didn't want to forget what I forgot.
Speaker 2: Why don't you just transition to it?
Speaker 1: You could have just you know, I'm horrible transition. It
Speaker 1: is not my strength.
Speaker 2: So everybody's at fault here. About the birthdays, there were
Speaker 2: so many talked about how much fun we had and
Speaker 2: how much emphasis we put on the birthday, and so
Speaker 2: much attention was on the cake that I had. That
Speaker 2: wasn't what I asked for. But while she was so
Speaker 2: busy doing all these things. What is it? You know,
Speaker 2: a lot of Leo's. Your dad's birthday is August thirteenth,
Speaker 2: your mom's the fifeenth, yes, fifteenth, right, and mine is
Speaker 2: the nineteenth. I think we might be missing somebody. There
Speaker 2: was a lot. Just that's a pretty good cluster people.
Speaker 1: And all my daughter's friends, like you know, Ava's roommate Raye,
Speaker 1: his birthday's August twenty second. Her best friend Ava Cluoso
Speaker 1: is August thirteenth. There's just August is filled with lots
Speaker 1: of birthdays. So folks.
Speaker 2: On our trip out of town, while we were all
Speaker 2: hanging out, having a good time, everybody's all smiles, family together,
Speaker 2: taking pictures. It is a good sign. Oh my sweet Lord, baby,
Speaker 2: baby Jesus. We forgot robots mom's birthday.
Speaker 1: It was gutting and I've never forgotten it. I mean,
Speaker 1: I had sent gifts to their house, but they were
Speaker 1: traveling for their birthdays. I facetimed my dad. I was
Speaker 1: the first text he got that morning. I sent him
Speaker 1: a happy birthday on mo Oji and just all Dad,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna FaceTime you. And we did and it was lovely.
Speaker 1: And my mom's birthday is two days later, so how
Speaker 1: could I forget that? Well, we were all caught up
Speaker 1: in the anticipation of celebrating DJ's birthday, and we were
Speaker 1: all traveling in the girls. No, it's all my fault.
Speaker 1: And yeah, the girls were coming on trains and we
Speaker 1: had the car, and there was so much coordination and excitement,
Speaker 1: and I went to bed feeling so happy that we
Speaker 1: just had a great night. And then I woke up
Speaker 1: in the morning and I saw that my mom at
Speaker 1: texted me at night where they were. This resort they
Speaker 1: were at were very kind and wrote happy birthday and
Speaker 1: rose petals on her bed, and she's like, isn't this
Speaker 1: so sweet? Look what the resort did for me, which
Speaker 1: meant when I woke up the next morning that I
Speaker 1: completely missed her birthday. In my mind, it was Friday,
Speaker 1: not Thursday, so I had my days mixed up. It
Speaker 1: was just, yeah, I didn't make a million excuses, but
Speaker 1: I dropped the ball.
Speaker 2: You know, it didn't It fell to odd because you'd
Speaker 2: been talking to her all day. It's not like you
Speaker 2: just didn't speak to your mom during the day. I
Speaker 2: don't even know if that makes it.
Speaker 1: Worse, it makes it worse. I was texting her and
Speaker 1: I didn't say happy birthday, and I had done it
Speaker 1: for my dad, so that it was just I and
Speaker 1: then I just felt so bad. And then I was
Speaker 1: texting her and I called her my dad. They were
Speaker 1: in the middle of doing something and my dad the
Speaker 1: first day, she said, was when he answered the phone,
Speaker 1: and I thought, oh no, he dropped something, and I
Speaker 1: like he was startled with the phone. He dropped anyway,
Speaker 1: he said, I got to call you back, and so
Speaker 1: that I had like thirty forty five minutes of feeling
Speaker 1: total panic that I had just made them so upset.
Speaker 1: I was just freaking out that I had forgotten her birthday.
Speaker 1: But anyway, she was very lovely, very gracious, very kind.
Speaker 1: She's like, all that matters is that you're calling me
Speaker 1: now and I get to talk to you now, and
Speaker 1: she was very sweet and forgiving. But I just that
Speaker 1: feeling of someone forgetting your birthday as an awful feeling,
Speaker 1: especially someone that close to you, and I hate that.
Speaker 1: I possibly she claims I didn't, but I know it
Speaker 1: had to sting, and I felt really awful about.
Speaker 2: She was great, and that's one of those things you
Speaker 2: were never you would were not going to be okay
Speaker 2: until you talk to your mom and she let you
Speaker 2: know she was okay. That was a bad when we
Speaker 2: had a rough hour or two anticipation because I think
Speaker 2: you tried to facetimer once and she didn't answer.
Speaker 1: Didn't answer. Oh, and my mom always answers, And I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, no, she's.
Speaker 2: Mad at me.
Speaker 1: She's not answering the FaceTime, and then Evan Anna both
Speaker 1: looked at me and said, Mom, we forgot her birthday too.
Speaker 1: So all of us did it, and we just felt awful,
Speaker 1: like terrible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, hey, kid and grandkids forgot the birthday. We were
Speaker 2: all here, sell it right, celebrating the new guy. We
Speaker 2: forgot mom and grand Yogi.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I yes, but mom and dad both Happy birthday guys,
Speaker 1: and I just I'll make it up next year. It's
Speaker 1: going to be amazing.
Speaker 2: Have you forgotten one before? Can you remember forgetting somebody's
Speaker 2: birthday that was a big deal?
Speaker 1: No, I really think that is the first time in
Speaker 1: my life where I have forgotten. I mean my nephews.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm scrambling at like nine pm to send them
Speaker 1: an Amazon gift card because I have done that, but
Speaker 1: I've I think I've always sneaked it in, and also
Speaker 1: my mom has helped remind me. Sometimes I'll remind the girls.
Speaker 1: But I was I was wishing that. My dad, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: texted me and said, remember it's your.
Speaker 2: Mom's Okay, okay, Papa Robach, if you're listening your daughter
Speaker 2: for about ten minutes turned her anger to you, like,
Speaker 2: why didn't like you?
Speaker 1: You're genuinely made my dad not tell me like you
Speaker 1: texted your mom today. It was not his fault, obviously,
Speaker 1: I just would have been so grateful you done that.
Speaker 1: That's all.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's well. You every once in a while we
Speaker 2: forget a birthday. I don't think I forgot you know what, either,
Speaker 2: I've messed up and like said, have a birthday on
Speaker 2: the wrong day before, okay, but early, Okay, that's better.
Speaker 2: It is better. But it wasn't a like I genuinely
Speaker 2: forgot your birth date, right, but I got it in early,
Speaker 2: so it wasn't a belated I've done that. But somebody
Speaker 2: that close to me, I don't think I had, right.
Speaker 1: I mean, other people, I'm sure I have, but someone
Speaker 1: that close to me, no, this is the first time.
Speaker 2: And dudes don't care either way. There's no friend, a
Speaker 2: guy friend of mine ever cared. I'm Miss Trick's birthday
Speaker 2: every year, you know what I'm saying. And he's never complained, right,
Speaker 2: not one you get right, Hey cares.
Speaker 1: But like if you forgot your mom's birthday, how would
Speaker 1: she react?
Speaker 2: I don't know because I would never do such a thing.
Speaker 1: I feel awful I do. I am going to make
Speaker 1: it up. Next year. They're going to have an amazing
Speaker 1: seventy second birthday. My mom is gonna whatever it is.
Speaker 2: But Andy's gonna help us out here, folks, whore gonna
Speaker 2: rat with? I know everybody is messed up a birthday
Speaker 2: in some way, form or fashion, and there's always pressure
Speaker 2: around birthdays, and when you get older, it seems a
Speaker 2: little ridiculous, like what are we supposed to do? How
Speaker 2: are we supposed to celebrate? Who are we supposed to celebrate?
Speaker 2: So our super producer here, Andy, that you all are
Speaker 2: familiar with, he has a list a dozen dues and
Speaker 2: don'ts for an adult birthday celebration. If you will, Andy, hell,
Speaker 2: let's see if we screw these up for an adult
Speaker 2: The dues and don'ts when you're celebrating an adult birthday.
Speaker 4: Yes, number one, do shift your birthday mindset from aging
Speaker 4: to gratitude. Gratitude means having the privilege to age another year,
Speaker 4: So I should feel happy that you're able to get
Speaker 4: another year.
Speaker 2: You know what, a lot of people. I don't like
Speaker 2: those folks who say it's my birthday, don't give me
Speaker 2: anything that's not celebrat Oh I hate that.
Speaker 1: Oh I get actually angry. In fact, I think I
Speaker 1: have made a dinner awkward. When someone complained about getting older,
Speaker 1: I said, it's a privilege to get older. What's the
Speaker 1: alternative if you can't celebrate that? My god? Like, just
Speaker 1: rethink about what it means to get to your older
Speaker 1: That is an amazing thing. You got another trip around
Speaker 1: the sun and you have. I kind of look at
Speaker 1: it as a reset too. You go, you reflect, and
Speaker 1: then you say, what do I want this year? What
Speaker 1: do I want to do better? You know that's it's
Speaker 1: an opportunity instead of something being negative.
Speaker 2: We reset for new years, right. Everybody wants to start
Speaker 2: a new and all fresh. What use your birthday that?
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 2: I'm with you. That's a definite. Don't do it. Don't
Speaker 2: that's all gratitude do have gratitudes.
Speaker 4: Don't is stressing over sending reciprocal birthday wishes. It's not
Speaker 4: take a penny, give a penny, don't keep score.
Speaker 2: Oh I like that they sent me a birthday wish.
Speaker 2: Now I have to send them up. That's a good one.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: That's a good one.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 4: This next one is do see if your office lets
Speaker 4: you opt in or out of a birthday celebration, because many,
Speaker 4: not all, may want to celebrate you, but if you
Speaker 4: don't want to be celebrated, make that clear with your office.
Speaker 1: Yes, with the office cupcakes, and they make a big deal.
Speaker 1: Some people get embarrassed by all the attention. I mean,
Speaker 1: I personally don't love it when I get a big
Speaker 1: sombrero put on my head and the band comes out
Speaker 1: singing Happy Birthday. That's not something I like at all.
Speaker 1: Do you like it when the restaurant comes with the
Speaker 1: big song and the clapping hand you know me right,
Speaker 1: and the firework for a candle?
Speaker 2: How many times in my life you think I would
Speaker 2: have allowed that to happen?
Speaker 1: Zero?
Speaker 2: Okay, I will stop them at the kitchen door. Don't
Speaker 2: even come out.
Speaker 1: I know when we went out to lunch one time,
Speaker 1: I think it was maybe it was the day before
Speaker 1: your birthday, and I thought, no, I'm not going to
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 2: Oh, you crossed your mind.
Speaker 1: I laughed about how normally a lot of times I
Speaker 1: would go to the waiter and say, hey, it's a birthday.
Speaker 2: Did you consult with the meme?
Speaker 1: I no, I knew you knew that.
Speaker 2: I didn't get that.
Speaker 1: I had a little thought pop in my head, and
Speaker 1: I laughed, and then I thought, I actually think you'd
Speaker 1: be mad. If I thought you would be like, you'd
Speaker 1: laugh it off. But I thought, no, you would actually
Speaker 1: be pissed mad. So I didn't.
Speaker 4: All right, the next one, and I actually did this
Speaker 4: one recently. Keep track of the birthdays for key people
Speaker 4: in your life. Mark special days on your iPhone or calendar. Yes,
Speaker 4: I deleted my Facebook, but before I did, I went
Speaker 4: through the whole Facebook birthday list and made sure to
Speaker 4: put all the people that I actually would care to
Speaker 4: write happy birthday, to make sure to put those in
Speaker 4: my calendar as alert.
Speaker 1: That's amazing, And I don't know why mine did not
Speaker 1: pop up. That's such a good point, because maybe I
Speaker 1: don't have my mom's birthday in.
Speaker 2: My candy didn't tell you they didn't, you would need to.
Speaker 1: You know, I have a question. Do you know how
Speaker 1: to take birthdays off of your calendar?
Speaker 2: It seems like you figured it out right now.
Speaker 1: I never put it off on. You know, when people
Speaker 1: in and out of your life and then maybe you
Speaker 1: don't want to have their birthday pop up?
Speaker 2: How do you get I don't have that though. I
Speaker 2: couldn't what people don't come in and out of my life.
Speaker 2: They're here or they're not. No, that's no, there's no
Speaker 2: in and out right.
Speaker 1: But maybe at one point you wanted someone's birthday to
Speaker 1: pop up on your calendar, and now you don't want
Speaker 1: to see you show Okay, I actually genuinely need that direction.
Speaker 2: And give yourself a couple on the alerts. You know,
Speaker 2: get an alert a week ahead of time, a few
Speaker 2: days ahead of time. That's that's perfect, that's very good.
Speaker 4: The next one is don't ask people their age. It's
Speaker 4: not polite. Don't do it period.
Speaker 1: When you do that, I think after the twenty first
Speaker 1: birthday you should not ask the age. It's fun up
Speaker 1: until twenty one, and then no one wants to tell you.
Speaker 1: And what do you want to know?
Speaker 2: Damn? Okay, even to me, it was like that was strong.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I actually personally don't mind telling my age,
Speaker 1: but I would.
Speaker 2: All the time anyway. That's why though, So you don't
Speaker 2: care if anybody asks because you've put it out there, right, so.
Speaker 1: But I respect that someone might not want to you
Speaker 1: were okay?
Speaker 2: But my issues people going off about like getting mad that.
Speaker 2: So is it inappropriate and rude? Is my thing? Is
Speaker 2: it actually rude or just I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think it's probably rude because I guess my question is,
Speaker 1: why do you want to know?
Speaker 2: It's your birthday? What are you turning? That's a natural question.
Speaker 2: I'm going to a concert tonight. Who are you saying?
Speaker 2: That's kind of a natural follow up?
Speaker 4: That's really rude?
Speaker 2: Heading to a restaurant? Oh, where are you headed? What
Speaker 2: kind of food?
Speaker 1: That's not a why do you want to know?
Speaker 2: Go into a movie?
Speaker 1: What are you saying?
Speaker 2: None of your business.
Speaker 1: Is not the same. Yeah, I think it's I think
Speaker 1: it's mostly a female thing.
Speaker 2: There we go there it is, so we don't.
Speaker 1: Want anyone to view us through the lens of our age.
Speaker 2: Andy, do you care if somebody ask you your age?
Speaker 3: Not?
Speaker 2: Really? Okay?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but how old are you thirty three? She just asked,
Speaker 2: You just said, don't ask people.
Speaker 1: They I did that on purpose.
Speaker 2: Yea, it was hilarious. What you got next, Andy? I
Speaker 2: mean thirty three year old Andy.
Speaker 4: The next one says, do make it clear who's paying
Speaker 4: for the celebration. If you're going out to a bar
Speaker 4: or throwing a birthday party, the organizer should always clearly
Speaker 4: convey financial details before the party. Do not let it
Speaker 4: go unsettled.
Speaker 1: So this has always been something where I have thrown
Speaker 1: birthday parties, like for myself and in my opinion as
Speaker 1: a grown ass woman, if I'm going out to a
Speaker 1: bar whatever, I'm picking up the bill. That's how I
Speaker 1: look at it.
Speaker 2: But if you're the organizer, if you should be.
Speaker 1: Correct, okay, correct, But if you're going out for a dinner,
Speaker 1: you know a lot of times everybody will say you're
Speaker 1: you're not throwing your credit card in? We got you
Speaker 1: at your birthday and so yeah, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just feel like, for me, the one rule is
Speaker 1: if I'm throwing the party, I'm picking up the bill.
Speaker 2: And my one rule would be if we're all going
Speaker 2: out to dinner, no matter who organizes the birthday boy,
Speaker 2: the birthday girl does not pay correct fairly right, Yeah.
Speaker 4: The next one. Don't mention gifts on an invitation. Adult
Speaker 4: birthdays do not or should not come with the obligation
Speaker 4: of gifts, and you need to be aware that there
Speaker 4: is no including a wish list.
Speaker 1: That's I yeah, I agree with that. I think like
Speaker 1: what you're putting in a And by the way, if
Speaker 1: you come, here's what I'd like.
Speaker 4: No, I've seen one or two people really like adults.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like how old?
Speaker 4: I mean three?
Speaker 1: Like a link to here's what I'd like you to buy.
Speaker 4: Me, kind of like a suggested wish list. If you're
Speaker 4: thinking of ideas, here's what I'm thinking.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and all I wanted was a frickin cake and
Speaker 2: I didn't get that.
Speaker 1: Got a cake.
Speaker 2: You're oh, don't all far me? Okay, yeah, see this
Speaker 2: is why we don't have to There is no I
Speaker 2: don't know anybody that's like me except for her.
Speaker 1: Oh, you guys are exactly like And I would say
Speaker 1: Annaly's is similar to the two of you, But no,
Speaker 1: the two of you are two peas in a pod.
Speaker 2: And that's why I don't like her. A lot of times.
Speaker 2: Oh I love her I can't. I can't. I'm not
Speaker 2: used to receiving what I'm used to.
Speaker 1: So she equips right back, that is, and I applaud it.
Speaker 4: Okay, go into the next one, don't or sorry, do
Speaker 4: let the birthday girl or guy design the guest list.
Speaker 4: So let your friend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you should have a say as to who comes
Speaker 1: to celebrate your birthday. Correct.
Speaker 4: Yes. I did have an issue with that with one
Speaker 4: of my friends though, where they put us on a
Speaker 4: group text and then left the group text. They're like,
Speaker 4: this is who I want to invite, and then left
Speaker 4: the group text and we're like you all planned from here?
Speaker 4: Oh oh, which I don't know how I really felt
Speaker 4: about it. I mean, it went fine, but it was
Speaker 4: like kind of awkward in the moment because then everybody
Speaker 4: was just awkwardly scrambling. You don't know half these people
Speaker 4: who's taking lead. It's just kind of like, okay, why
Speaker 4: is not.
Speaker 1: Oh I was going to say, you were at one
Speaker 1: of my birthday parties. How about when someone who you
Speaker 1: didn't invite and actually you said please, I only want
Speaker 1: I don't want because if you invite this one person,
Speaker 1: then it creates a whole other group of people who
Speaker 1: feel like they got excluded. So how about when that
Speaker 1: person comes to your birthday party uninvited? And TJ witnessed
Speaker 1: this time. It was my forty third birthdays and I
Speaker 1: still get hot thinking about it, thinking about it. Who
Speaker 1: goes to a birthday party they weren't invited to.
Speaker 2: Please everybody, if any indication of not to do it.
Speaker 2: This was eight years ago, and you heard her voice.
Speaker 2: She's still hot. And I remember this other.
Speaker 1: Group of people who I didn't and I was again
Speaker 1: I was paying for it. Oh I if I invited her,
Speaker 1: then they all had to come to right because she
Speaker 1: then I knew other people were going to find out
Speaker 1: that she was at my birthday party.
Speaker 2: And then then they would say why wouldn't they?
Speaker 1: And then I just thought. And then the person who
Speaker 1: said they were bringing her, I said no, please don't,
Speaker 1: and they came anyway. Yeah, how about that?
Speaker 2: Okay, whoever's birthday it is should be in charge. They
Speaker 2: should only have exactly who they want in the spot.
Speaker 2: That's the bottom line. Okay.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 4: The next one is do tell people it's your birthday
Speaker 4: if you want them to know. No one is a
Speaker 4: mind reader. Remind people or put the big day on
Speaker 4: your outlook calendar to subtly get the word out.
Speaker 2: So if it's your you need to remind people is
Speaker 2: your birthday.
Speaker 4: They're saying that you can if you want to tell
Speaker 4: people to feel confident if you think someone may forget
Speaker 4: or kind of like when my mom text.
Speaker 1: Text with the look at how nice this resort was
Speaker 1: to me, Yeah my birthday.
Speaker 2: Yeah, mama Robak, this is your fault.
Speaker 1: No, well, actually she did what you're supposed to do.
Speaker 1: It's it's you gently remind me.
Speaker 2: It was like eleven o'clock at night. We need more
Speaker 2: than that. I'm kidding. I was just out our fault.
Speaker 2: But that's a weird one to remind people that's your birthday.
Speaker 1: If you want people to know what's your birthday, don't
Speaker 1: expect them to remember, I guess is the point, right? Yeah?
Speaker 4: I think it helps with your clums not clumsy, but
Speaker 4: maybe not as like mindful type like it's your birthday week.
Speaker 4: It's it's just nice to like put the word out
Speaker 4: in advance, like hey, it's my birthday this week or
Speaker 4: what are we doing?
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it lets people know that it's important to you.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I can't imagine you doing that. Yeah, it would feel
Speaker 1: it would feel sad, be like, it's my birthday today
Speaker 1: and I just walking up the people's saying, you guys free,
Speaker 1: anybody want to celebrate?
Speaker 2: I got you.
Speaker 4: But to that same point, I think it's kind of
Speaker 4: weird if somebody did do that but they didn't tell you,
Speaker 4: like a day or two and before, right, it'd be
Speaker 4: weird if all of a sudden it was like your
Speaker 4: birthday today, and I'd be like, oh, that's okay.
Speaker 2: You You should not have to send a text on
Speaker 2: your own birthday. That should all be incoming.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's true. You should be reading text not
Speaker 1: sending them all right.
Speaker 4: The next one is don't assume how people plan to celebrate.
Speaker 4: Not everybody wants to go crazy on their birthday, but
Speaker 4: it's nice to check in to ask how the person
Speaker 4: celebrating their birthday actually wants to celebrate.
Speaker 2: That's perfect because we would probably be the opposite. You
Speaker 2: want a whole bunch of people around and jumping and
Speaker 2: yelling and screaming and all this.
Speaker 1: So if it's that, it's more like music dancing.
Speaker 2: I just said jumping and yelling and screaming, that's what
Speaker 2: music is.
Speaker 1: That's for white people.
Speaker 2: I didn't say that. I say you, I don't hang
Speaker 2: out with any of other white people.
Speaker 1: Just not true.
Speaker 2: Well, all the white people you bring around, I'm kidding.
Speaker 1: There's no other way to dance to living on a
Speaker 1: prayer other than to jump.
Speaker 2: That's actually true.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my favorite song.
Speaker 4: The next one is do own it if you forget
Speaker 4: someone's birthday. Yep, you can apologize, but don't sweat it, okay, And.
Speaker 2: That's exactly what I told you. Yes, I said she's
Speaker 2: going to be okay, that's nothing. There is no makeup there.
Speaker 2: You can't no do good nor just let it be
Speaker 2: what it is. I know you're upset, wait until you
Speaker 2: talk to her, and it's going to be fine. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's true.
Speaker 4: And this last one is do think about how you
Speaker 4: want to celebrate. If you're not a party animal, skip
Speaker 4: the huge bash, think about what you want your ideal
Speaker 4: day to look like, and then invite some friends along.
Speaker 2: That's it. I love that and I got that. That's
Speaker 2: exactly exactly what I did. All I want to do
Speaker 2: is be in the sun. I want to grill, I
Speaker 2: want to cook. I want to have good drinks and
Speaker 2: folks around me. I love. And that was it, but
Speaker 2: just laid I don't like going out necessarily on my birthday.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I loved. I loved the week. I loved
Speaker 1: the time we had with everyone, and I loved how
Speaker 1: willing and happy you were surrounded by six girls. That
Speaker 1: is a lot for most guys. So I applaud you
Speaker 1: for I don't want to say tolerating it, but just
Speaker 1: you know that that is that is but that is
Speaker 1: a lot. That is a lot of women all in
Speaker 1: one space around you. But you were It was a
Speaker 1: blast from start to finish. It really was. And so
Speaker 1: I loved what you requested because it just was perfect.
Speaker 1: It was perfect like every like the girls were even
Speaker 1: saying last night and they were just saying how much
Speaker 1: fun they had and how great it was, and it
Speaker 1: was just it was beautiful.
Speaker 2: So I thank you for it. I think it's being
Speaker 2: that's sitting over there for and then Elise and Neva
Speaker 2: and Montgomery and me for making a wonderful, wonderful trip.
Speaker 2: So and it was it was another chapter and page
Speaker 2: turner for us in this whole saga and relationship and
Speaker 2: just family and life. It was a it was just
Speaker 2: another marker of a moment. And so I thank you
Speaker 2: for it. It was a great birthday. So thank you,
Speaker 2: I love you. I love you too, baby, and thank
Speaker 2: you Sabine. Wow, she just gave me deuces. She just
Speaker 2: gave me deuces.
Speaker 1: I wonder where it's an attitude though, it's a way
Speaker 1: of living. Yeah, it's just fun.
Speaker 2: Okay, folks, you know where to find us on our
Speaker 2: official show page at Amy and TJ Podcast. We do
Speaker 2: have something really special coming up. I think in a
Speaker 2: couple of days. Our next episode is going to we
Speaker 2: have Sabine in the room now because she's not necessarily
Speaker 2: a guest on the show, even though she just wanted
Speaker 2: to keep talking over there. But we have another very
Speaker 2: special guest coming up on either tomorrow for our next
Speaker 2: episode will feature a very special guest.
Speaker 1: Yes that's right, and stay tuned for that. But in
Speaker 1: the meantime, you can find us on our official Instagram
Speaker 1: page Amy and TJ Podcast.
Speaker 2: Just for Embasis, we wanted to say it again.
Speaker 3: All right, I'm going to stop now, have a great
Speaker 3: day everyone.
Speaker 2: Do you think