WEBVTT - Bennifer & Birthdays

0:00:02.480 --> 0:00:04.320
<v Speaker 1>Hey, folks, it's ship birthday.

0:00:04.880 --> 0:00:09.320
<v Speaker 2>That actually it was my birthday and Robock made it special,

0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:13.240
<v Speaker 2>but it might have come at the expense of Roboq's mom. Also,

0:00:13.600 --> 0:00:16.279
<v Speaker 2>we showed one of our birthday celebration selfies to a

0:00:16.360 --> 0:00:20.880
<v Speaker 2>friend last night and she started bawling, crying in the

0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:24.240
<v Speaker 2>middle of a restaurant. Also in this episode, just because

0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:26.960
<v Speaker 2>it is your birthday, that does not mean you're getting old.

0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:32.600
<v Speaker 2>Researchers now say aging is not gradual, it's sudden. There

0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:38.159
<v Speaker 2>are two particular birthdays in which we all age durstically.

0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:43.360
<v Speaker 2>And finally, I ask Robes two specific questions every single

0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:46.360
<v Speaker 2>morning before we get out of bed. I especially hated

0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.760
<v Speaker 2>her answer to one of those questions this morning, And

0:00:49.800 --> 0:00:54.080
<v Speaker 2>with that, everybody, welcome to this edition of Amy and TJ.

0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:58.480
<v Speaker 2>I love she has no idea about some of that.

0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:00.000
<v Speaker 2>That's why I always write the entry.

0:01:00.600 --> 0:01:02.600
<v Speaker 1>I love it when you say we're going to talk

0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:05.440
<v Speaker 1>about things that I have no idea what you're going

0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:07.200
<v Speaker 1>to say, or that we were even going to talk

0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:09.160
<v Speaker 1>about that. So this is going to be fun for all.

0:01:09.319 --> 0:01:11.480
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, no, no, you're now The one I did keep

0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:14.600
<v Speaker 2>from you for a reason is about the birthdays and

0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:17.120
<v Speaker 2>the research. There's research out there that shows we all

0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:19.039
<v Speaker 2>feel like we're getting older and we're aging, and it's

0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:22.360
<v Speaker 2>a slow process. There are two ages in particular that

0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:26.480
<v Speaker 2>research has now shown that you drop off and you

0:01:26.520 --> 0:01:29.119
<v Speaker 2>just age drastically. On two particular.

0:01:28.760 --> 0:01:34.959
<v Speaker 1>Birthdays, fifty because I kind of felt it, you've hit one. Yep, fifty,

0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:36.360
<v Speaker 1>I felt you hit one.

0:01:36.560 --> 0:01:38.600
<v Speaker 2>But I'll also tell you this, fifty is not one

0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:42.000
<v Speaker 2>of them. Oh okay, So if you you always don't

0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:45.080
<v Speaker 2>hit till fifty, then you've had you prolonged. You're doing

0:01:45.080 --> 0:01:46.440
<v Speaker 2>better than something that was the first time.

0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:49.960
<v Speaker 1>Well like this year, I've really felt it more than

0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:52.160
<v Speaker 1>I ever have. So okay, I can't wait to hear

0:01:52.240 --> 0:01:52.800
<v Speaker 1>really okay.

0:01:53.520 --> 0:01:56.600
<v Speaker 2>But the there are two questions I ask you every morning. Now.

0:01:56.760 --> 0:01:58.840
<v Speaker 2>The one is obvious and certainly it's we're in the

0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:02.640
<v Speaker 2>middle of our marathon training. So it's probably the most

0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:05.240
<v Speaker 2>annoying thing I say to you every single day, and

0:02:05.240 --> 0:02:06.520
<v Speaker 2>it's often the first thing I say.

0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:08.960
<v Speaker 1>You say, are you ready to run? You don't say

0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:12.280
<v Speaker 1>good morning, you look beautiful in the morning. Hey sweetheart,

0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:14.240
<v Speaker 1>how did you sleep? No, are you ready to run?

0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:16.440
<v Speaker 2>See you threw some things in that that made me

0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:19.560
<v Speaker 2>sound like a bad boyfriend. That was unnecessary. You don't

0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:21.840
<v Speaker 2>even ask you don't even ask me how I'm doing. No,

0:02:21.880 --> 0:02:24.960
<v Speaker 2>it's sweetheart, and you look beautiful. It's dark in here, sweetheart,

0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:28.519
<v Speaker 2>game see you. I assume you're beautiful because you were

0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:33.640
<v Speaker 2>last night. Hopefully nothing changed. But the other question I

0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:36.440
<v Speaker 2>have been asking for the past couple of months at least,

0:02:36.440 --> 0:02:38.239
<v Speaker 2>because I don't look at a lot of headlines. I

0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:40.880
<v Speaker 2>certainly don't read a lot of tabloid stuff. But it's

0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:43.480
<v Speaker 2>a guaranteed question I ask you every day, which.

0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:45.840
<v Speaker 1>Is what's the latest with j low yep?

0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:49.839
<v Speaker 2>Every single day, because I don't I just got into

0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:54.800
<v Speaker 2>the habit. I don't read tabloid stuff, so I ask you.

0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Oftentimes your answer is, well, I don't know. You give

0:02:57.280 --> 0:02:58.840
<v Speaker 2>me some minor update of some kind.

0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:01.680
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I will either have seen it on Instagram or

0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:05.600
<v Speaker 1>seen it on my iPhone. Headlines and we you know,

0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:07.600
<v Speaker 1>we have said this. We don't believe the headline, so

0:03:07.639 --> 0:03:11.320
<v Speaker 1>it's not necessarily something like oh wow, Ben moved out,

0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:16.160
<v Speaker 1>Ben got a new home. All j Lo is vacationing

0:03:16.280 --> 0:03:17.519
<v Speaker 1>solo in Europe.

0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:17.800
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:19.560
<v Speaker 1>So I've told you all of those things like from

0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:22.000
<v Speaker 1>Instagram that she's actually posted, because that is the only

0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:24.760
<v Speaker 1>thing I actually can believe is something that she has posted.

0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:28.119
<v Speaker 1>And then still you have to infer you know why

0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:30.360
<v Speaker 1>she posted it or what the picture might mean, and

0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:35.280
<v Speaker 1>that's also up for absolute It's no one knows for

0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:38.800
<v Speaker 1>sure why her intent, why she decided to post something.

0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:40.800
<v Speaker 1>But that's my only update I've been able to get.

0:03:40.840 --> 0:03:42.160
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I want to speak. I don't want to speak

0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:45.200
<v Speaker 2>for because you can confirm the entire time when you

0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:48.360
<v Speaker 2>when you have been giving me these updates, I roll

0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:50.920
<v Speaker 2>my eyes and say, well, yeah, I don't believe any

0:03:50.960 --> 0:03:51.200
<v Speaker 2>of it.

0:03:51.440 --> 0:03:53.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I said it looks like they're headed for divorce,

0:03:53.480 --> 0:03:56.240
<v Speaker 1>and you said I don't believe it, and I said,

0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:58.320
<v Speaker 1>it looks like they're living apart. I don't know that

0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:00.480
<v Speaker 1>that's true. So and that's fair, and I think that's

0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:03.040
<v Speaker 1>a healthy mindset, especially with what we know from the

0:04:03.080 --> 0:04:05.960
<v Speaker 1>industry and also what we know based on what we've

0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:08.520
<v Speaker 1>been through. Yes, that they don't get it right a

0:04:08.520 --> 0:04:10.600
<v Speaker 1>lot of times, but this time it does look like

0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:14.520
<v Speaker 1>all of the rumors, all of the innuendo, all of

0:04:14.520 --> 0:04:17.960
<v Speaker 1>the insinuations have turned out to be true. We have

0:04:18.040 --> 0:04:21.000
<v Speaker 1>gotten word I was able to. Actually, I don't even

0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:22.560
<v Speaker 1>think I told you. I think you woke up and

0:04:22.600 --> 0:04:25.120
<v Speaker 1>saw it the headline.

0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:27.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I didn't know about it last night. We

0:04:27.080 --> 0:04:30.800
<v Speaker 2>were exhausted from trips and traveling and partying, and I

0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:32.680
<v Speaker 2>didn't know until I got up this morning. And you

0:04:32.720 --> 0:04:34.560
<v Speaker 2>know what I'm going to look, you texted me firs

0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:36.760
<v Speaker 2>thing because we ended up in two different places because

0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:40.120
<v Speaker 2>I was exhausted last night at eight pm and you

0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:43.200
<v Speaker 2>were going it was seven it was seven thirty.

0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:45.560
<v Speaker 1>Actually you're right, it was seven thirty, but you were

0:04:45.600 --> 0:04:47.400
<v Speaker 1>up at midnight, so that's good.

0:04:48.120 --> 0:04:51.479
<v Speaker 2>It's not but I was exhausted and I gotta I

0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:55.120
<v Speaker 2>said good morning. You'll the first thing, wow, it was

0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:57.719
<v Speaker 2>at three twenty two. Oh my god, is when I

0:04:57.760 --> 0:04:58.320
<v Speaker 2>messaged you.

0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:00.560
<v Speaker 1>That's not famn unusual.

0:05:00.640 --> 0:05:02.240
<v Speaker 2>It felt normal to me, though, well.

0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:03.440
<v Speaker 1>They know what you know what because we have not

0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:06.320
<v Speaker 1>spent apart in like three months, and so this was

0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:09.600
<v Speaker 1>the first time you didn't actually like, hey, what do

0:05:09.600 --> 0:05:11.960
<v Speaker 1>you mean? So actually I appreciated the fact that I

0:05:11.960 --> 0:05:14.640
<v Speaker 1>didn't see it until my alarm went off at six am.

0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:18.320
<v Speaker 2>So the at three twenty two I message you, good morning.

0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:21.720
<v Speaker 2>I am so sad. First thing on my phone is

0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:27.480
<v Speaker 2>about j Lo filing for divorce. That was the message.

0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:29.760
<v Speaker 1>You have been invested, I am.

0:05:30.080 --> 0:05:32.719
<v Speaker 2>I have, and this is awful and I haven't gone through.

0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:34.839
<v Speaker 2>And I was going to incorporate some of what people

0:05:34.880 --> 0:05:37.120
<v Speaker 2>are saying into this episode, but I couldn't even bring it,

0:05:37.320 --> 0:05:39.320
<v Speaker 2>bring myself to read through a bunch of stuff.

0:05:39.400 --> 0:05:41.720
<v Speaker 1>Do you know what? This all goes back to you

0:05:41.760 --> 0:05:44.800
<v Speaker 1>and I and actually George Dephnopolis. We're all sitting on

0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:49.080
<v Speaker 1>the set of Good Morning America the day after j

0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:52.960
<v Speaker 1>Loo and Ben got married, and we you came in

0:05:53.040 --> 0:05:55.640
<v Speaker 1>and you're like, this is such a great story seventeen

0:05:55.720 --> 0:05:58.039
<v Speaker 1>years and then making you know they had loved each

0:05:58.040 --> 0:06:00.640
<v Speaker 1>other all this time, they lived different life and then

0:06:00.960 --> 0:06:03.560
<v Speaker 1>finally when the dust settles, they come back together, they

0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:05.359
<v Speaker 1>find that they were meant to be and they get married.

0:06:05.360 --> 0:06:07.880
<v Speaker 1>It is a fairy tale, a love story that we

0:06:07.920 --> 0:06:09.800
<v Speaker 1>all wanted to believe in. And I was right there

0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:13.159
<v Speaker 1>with you. We were excited, like genuinely happy for the

0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:17.480
<v Speaker 1>two of them. George Stephanopolis, however, rolled his eyes and said,

0:06:18.839 --> 0:06:21.000
<v Speaker 1>I give it six months or something to that effect.

0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:24.360
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it was it was probably the correct way

0:06:24.360 --> 0:06:27.360
<v Speaker 1>to look at it. But why he yeah, well why

0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:30.520
<v Speaker 1>why why? I know? And then and then we were

0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:33.160
<v Speaker 1>invested in watching her movies about how she loves love,

0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:35.440
<v Speaker 1>and you and I have both interviewed her and she

0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:40.799
<v Speaker 1>I believe that she believed like she is genuinely wanting

0:06:40.880 --> 0:06:44.200
<v Speaker 1>to find Prince Charming and wanting to find the love

0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:46.480
<v Speaker 1>of her life and live happily ever after, don't we all?

0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:50.200
<v Speaker 1>And I think unfortunately, when you want that so badly,

0:06:50.279 --> 0:06:54.120
<v Speaker 1>the reality of everything complicates that dream or what your

0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:57.200
<v Speaker 1>expectations are. I mean, that's just so it's tough to

0:06:57.240 --> 0:07:00.400
<v Speaker 1>see that all displayed and played out in a really

0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:03.760
<v Speaker 1>public way, especially because of the movies that she made,

0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:05.599
<v Speaker 1>the making of the movie, and then the movie itself,

0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:08.000
<v Speaker 1>and then the real story that's happening behind the scenes.

0:07:08.920 --> 0:07:12.040
<v Speaker 1>It's tough to watch it all unfold. And it's heartbreaking

0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:13.160
<v Speaker 1>there it is.

0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:15.920
<v Speaker 2>It's heartbreaking in my that's all. It was just from

0:07:15.960 --> 0:07:18.800
<v Speaker 2>a human standpoint. The movie she put out and all that,

0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:21.240
<v Speaker 2>it was just from a human standpoint. Anybody who has

0:07:21.280 --> 0:07:23.520
<v Speaker 2>been married that many times, who has been who's had

0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:26.000
<v Speaker 2>that many relationships, who has gone through all that she's

0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:28.040
<v Speaker 2>having to do it publicly, But my heart goes out

0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.200
<v Speaker 2>to anybody who's doing that privately. I just happened to

0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:32.960
<v Speaker 2>see all of this because she's in the public eye,

0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:36.000
<v Speaker 2>and I just I don't know how it's being viewed.

0:07:36.480 --> 0:07:39.280
<v Speaker 2>We talk about everybody loves a love story, and they're

0:07:39.360 --> 0:07:41.120
<v Speaker 2>rooting for love, and they're rooting for people to be

0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:43.560
<v Speaker 2>in love. We say that, but then we have a

0:07:43.720 --> 0:07:45.880
<v Speaker 2>very difficult time being happy for people when they are

0:07:45.880 --> 0:07:48.840
<v Speaker 2>in love, right. That turns us off to see somebody

0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:51.960
<v Speaker 2>else so happy, and then we get so invested and

0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:56.200
<v Speaker 2>almost there's glee in someone else's demise, I think, and

0:07:56.200 --> 0:07:58.800
<v Speaker 2>that pain and somebody who would who said so, I'll

0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:00.560
<v Speaker 2>give it six months? I did A might be looking

0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:01.880
<v Speaker 2>how I told you? I told you that we can

0:08:01.960 --> 0:08:05.160
<v Speaker 2>sit back and say, ha ha. I hate that mindset.

0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:07.320
<v Speaker 2>We just don't treat each other like human beings sometimes

0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:09.320
<v Speaker 2>in a scenario like this, and I only saw this

0:08:09.400 --> 0:08:12.480
<v Speaker 2>as a human story, and it is heartbreaking. And we

0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:16.560
<v Speaker 2>always talk about j Lo. Why is the emphasis always

0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:20.400
<v Speaker 2>on her not him? I mean, I'm sure he's heartbroken.

0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:23.000
<v Speaker 2>What's going on with him? He's a couple of marriages

0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:28.000
<v Speaker 2>in and all this. It just sucks man, this was it.

0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:30.200
<v Speaker 2>This is one I could look at and go, you

0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:33.960
<v Speaker 2>know what, the timing wasn't right. They were committed in

0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:37.920
<v Speaker 2>some way for the two decades and not even together

0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:40.400
<v Speaker 2>and then finally the time is right and this is

0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:42.120
<v Speaker 2>it and this is going to work. Damn. I was

0:08:42.160 --> 0:08:42.719
<v Speaker 2>rooting for them.

0:08:42.960 --> 0:08:44.960
<v Speaker 1>I know, I know you were, and I think you know,

0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:47.640
<v Speaker 1>for a lot of you know, we have some connections

0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:50.360
<v Speaker 1>in the sense that we've had multiple marriages, we've blended,

0:08:50.440 --> 0:08:53.079
<v Speaker 1>you know, we've been you know, the blending of the families,

0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:55.520
<v Speaker 1>watching them have their kids be invested in each other.

0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:59.480
<v Speaker 1>That all takes work and time, and you're and it's

0:08:59.520 --> 0:09:02.719
<v Speaker 1>obviously the most important part of the whole relationship is

0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:04.520
<v Speaker 1>that your kids are okay with it. So they spent

0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:07.360
<v Speaker 1>you know, time doing all of that, and it's just sad.

0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:10.880
<v Speaker 1>Then you have, ah, just having lived through that personally,

0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:13.880
<v Speaker 1>I know how painful it is. And no matter how

0:09:13.960 --> 0:09:15.600
<v Speaker 1>much you want it to work or how much you

0:09:15.640 --> 0:09:19.240
<v Speaker 1>hope it works, sadly sometimes it just doesn't. And it's

0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:21.960
<v Speaker 1>also said, when you know there's love there, but don't

0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:24.280
<v Speaker 1>we always say it's all about communication, and somehow that

0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:28.040
<v Speaker 1>just seems to always be what ends up unraveling even

0:09:28.120 --> 0:09:30.720
<v Speaker 1>people who really do love each other. It's it's not

0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:34.160
<v Speaker 1>enough often times, especially with public pressure.

0:09:34.200 --> 0:09:38.080
<v Speaker 2>You know, the I'm going kind of off. It's not

0:09:38.120 --> 0:09:40.240
<v Speaker 2>really off subject here, but it'll make sense to you.

0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:43.560
<v Speaker 2>And and I say, Sabine. Yet people don't know. Sabine

0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:45.120
<v Speaker 2>is sitting in the room right now. We're recording this.

0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:48.400
<v Speaker 2>My daughter eleven year old, but she'll get it. Are

0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:53.880
<v Speaker 2>our latest fascination, happily ever after ninety day fiance, right,

0:09:54.160 --> 0:09:57.520
<v Speaker 2>I got it right. The scene we roll our eyes

0:09:57.559 --> 0:10:00.120
<v Speaker 2>and laugh and it's entertaining and ridiculous and all the

0:10:00.000 --> 0:10:03.360
<v Speaker 2>these things. But it got dark and it got sad,

0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:05.079
<v Speaker 2>and it's the saddest thing I've ever seen in a

0:10:05.160 --> 0:10:07.960
<v Speaker 2>ninety day fiance. The woman who was with the guy

0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:11.559
<v Speaker 2>from Benttonville, Arkansas, I can't remember his name, Ed Ed.

0:10:11.760 --> 0:10:14.559
<v Speaker 2>His dad is Ed. He dumps the woman who has

0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:17.280
<v Speaker 2>a nine year old daughter, I think it is. She's

0:10:17.280 --> 0:10:19.680
<v Speaker 2>in the car crying to a family member and she said,

0:10:19.720 --> 0:10:21.280
<v Speaker 2>if I'd have known, I never would have brought my

0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:26.280
<v Speaker 2>daughter into this. That hit Yep, that stings, and that sucks.

0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:29.040
<v Speaker 2>And this is kind of where my mind went in

0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:32.880
<v Speaker 2>part with the j Lo thing those kids. Nobody's who

0:10:32.920 --> 0:10:34.560
<v Speaker 2>knows what the future is going to look like in whole,

0:10:34.600 --> 0:10:37.600
<v Speaker 2>but you blend a family like that only to go, wow,

0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:38.560
<v Speaker 2>this didn't work either.

0:10:38.760 --> 0:10:42.600
<v Speaker 1>It's the hardest thing to see your kids be in

0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:45.560
<v Speaker 1>pain based on decisions you've made, and I think you

0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:49.280
<v Speaker 1>know having been and walked that road, it is the

0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.440
<v Speaker 1>hardest part of a breakup and then having them trust

0:10:52.559 --> 0:10:54.800
<v Speaker 1>you again to say no, now this is the person

0:10:54.840 --> 0:10:57.240
<v Speaker 1>I love. No now this is going to work out,

0:10:57.320 --> 0:10:59.080
<v Speaker 1>and you worry about what that's going to do to

0:10:59.800 --> 0:11:02.560
<v Speaker 1>their viewpoint of how they view marriage or how they

0:11:02.679 --> 0:11:05.840
<v Speaker 1>view relationships, and yes, and all of that parental guilt

0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:09.440
<v Speaker 1>you take with you, and it's a part of all

0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:14.480
<v Speaker 1>of these messy relationship situations we see either on TV

0:11:14.600 --> 0:11:18.920
<v Speaker 1>shows or from celebrities or even people who we personally know.

0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:23.400
<v Speaker 1>You know, isn't just something to gawk at or to

0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:27.400
<v Speaker 1>have an opinion on, but maybe just to empathize or

0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:30.360
<v Speaker 1>at least sympathize with all the people who are involved,

0:11:30.360 --> 0:11:31.320
<v Speaker 1>but especially the kids.

0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:34.400
<v Speaker 2>Well, how would you describe if somebody's described and say, hey,

0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:35.920
<v Speaker 2>what do you know about Jaylah? What's the first thing

0:11:35.960 --> 0:11:37.360
<v Speaker 2>they're going to say about her right.

0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:39.199
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, she can't stop getting married.

0:11:39.240 --> 0:11:40.440
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Okay, here's the thing.

0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:43.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm not saying that. I think that's what people would say.

0:11:43.440 --> 0:11:46.000
<v Speaker 2>She's a superstar. She's a singer, she's an actress, she's

0:11:46.000 --> 0:11:48.680
<v Speaker 2>an icon, she's beautiful, she's a dancer, she's all these things.

0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:51.280
<v Speaker 2>How far do you go down before somebody says she's

0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:54.920
<v Speaker 2>a mom, she's a stepmom, she's a daughter, she's a

0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:57.480
<v Speaker 2>sister and aunt, she's all these things. We don't see

0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:02.120
<v Speaker 2>him as human beings. First being right now is is suffering.

0:12:02.160 --> 0:12:04.000
<v Speaker 2>A couple of human beings are suffering right now, So

0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:08.120
<v Speaker 2>that just sucks. I'll stop asking you for updates. But

0:12:08.240 --> 0:12:10.760
<v Speaker 2>about the kids, look we are said at the top here,

0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:12.440
<v Speaker 2>you showed a picture you went out to dinner last

0:12:12.520 --> 0:12:14.280
<v Speaker 2>night with he had a girl's night. That's why we

0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:17.160
<v Speaker 2>ended up. We weren't together last night, had a girl's night.

0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:22.120
<v Speaker 2>And there was a picture from a birthday celebration that

0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:25.280
<v Speaker 2>we just had for five six days my birthday it

0:12:25.320 --> 0:12:28.920
<v Speaker 2>was August nineteen. But there was a picture and one

0:12:28.920 --> 0:12:31.079
<v Speaker 2>of the people who was not at the celebration you

0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:32.880
<v Speaker 2>went out with Morgan that we've had on the podcast

0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:34.920
<v Speaker 2>a good friend of yours, so and you showed her

0:12:34.960 --> 0:12:37.040
<v Speaker 2>the picture? Please please explain because I wasn't there when

0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:38.199
<v Speaker 2>it happened, yes last night.

0:12:38.240 --> 0:12:43.160
<v Speaker 1>So Morgan, who you all, hopefully any good or loyal

0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:46.320
<v Speaker 1>podcast listeners will remember her. She is mine, one of

0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:48.520
<v Speaker 1>my best friends, who is living with stage for metasatic

0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:52.880
<v Speaker 1>breast cancer. And she grasps life like nobody that I know,

0:12:53.000 --> 0:12:55.880
<v Speaker 1>and she feels and she shows emotion, and she's vulnerable,

0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:57.360
<v Speaker 1>and I just love her for all of those things.

0:12:57.400 --> 0:13:01.440
<v Speaker 1>But she has seen and watched me and my girls

0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:03.880
<v Speaker 1>over the last year and a half two years now

0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:07.480
<v Speaker 1>actually go through so many ups and downs with the

0:13:07.520 --> 0:13:11.000
<v Speaker 1>divorce and then our relationship being made public in away

0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:14.040
<v Speaker 1>we did not appreciate and which caused a lot of

0:13:14.080 --> 0:13:17.760
<v Speaker 1>harm to our children. And so she's seen just how

0:13:17.760 --> 0:13:22.760
<v Speaker 1>hard it's been for everybody to feel safe and peace

0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:26.360
<v Speaker 1>and love. And so she said, how did TJ's birthday

0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:29.440
<v Speaker 1>trip go? And we just got back yesterday, and I said, well,

0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:31.800
<v Speaker 1>here's the picture. And I showed her a selfie that

0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:36.559
<v Speaker 1>Annalise took and it had Annalise, my daughter Ava, and

0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:41.680
<v Speaker 1>their two girlfriends, Sabine and TJ and me. So it

0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:45.320
<v Speaker 1>was TJ surrounded by six girls, and she looked at

0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:47.160
<v Speaker 1>it and I just thought she'd say, oh, that's so cute.

0:13:47.160 --> 0:13:51.839
<v Speaker 1>She started crying, and Annalise was there with us, and

0:13:51.920 --> 0:13:53.520
<v Speaker 1>she said, why are you crying? And she's like, I'm

0:13:53.640 --> 0:13:56.839
<v Speaker 1>just this is just the most beautiful picture I have

0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:59.800
<v Speaker 1>ever seen, because I know how much work it's taken

0:13:59.840 --> 0:14:02.880
<v Speaker 1>to get to this picture, and this picture just says

0:14:02.920 --> 0:14:05.280
<v Speaker 1>it all. And I am so happy for you, and

0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:07.720
<v Speaker 1>it made me start to cry. And Annalie said it

0:14:07.760 --> 0:14:10.520
<v Speaker 1>really was a good trip and that that was everything

0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:13.720
<v Speaker 1>to me in that moment because it is so you know,

0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:16.440
<v Speaker 1>and my kids are older, but no matter how old

0:14:16.559 --> 0:14:21.440
<v Speaker 1>you are, it's still tumultuous. It's still it shakes your

0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:25.800
<v Speaker 1>your security in so many ways, and so to know

0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:31.200
<v Speaker 1>that our girls feel safe again is everything.

0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:33.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't after you told me the story, I

0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:35.040
<v Speaker 2>don't know if I want to look at the picture

0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:37.440
<v Speaker 2>again because I might start crying. I didn't put it

0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:39.080
<v Speaker 2>in that kind because we were in the moment and

0:14:39.160 --> 0:14:41.200
<v Speaker 2>just enjoying the moment when we took that picture. But

0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:43.480
<v Speaker 2>it does. It means everything. And there were times I

0:14:43.480 --> 0:14:47.680
<v Speaker 2>think we've talked about it here where you and I

0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:50.040
<v Speaker 2>and so being sa being we're not in the same

0:14:50.120 --> 0:14:52.760
<v Speaker 2>room together. No, we wouldn't do anything together. There were

0:14:52.760 --> 0:14:56.680
<v Speaker 2>times in me and you and Annalise and Eva weren't

0:14:56.680 --> 0:15:00.280
<v Speaker 2>in the same room. We spent holidays apart because we

0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:02.480
<v Speaker 2>were being respectful of what was going on with them.

0:15:02.480 --> 0:15:04.560
<v Speaker 2>There's never a single day that you've ever hung out

0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:08.080
<v Speaker 2>with Sabine that I didn't ask her first, is this okay?

0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:12.840
<v Speaker 2>And then it developed into a situation where I would say, hey, Sabine,

0:15:12.840 --> 0:15:14.040
<v Speaker 2>you want to hang out? She would say, hey, is

0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:16.120
<v Speaker 2>Amy going to be there? I say no, and she said, ah,

0:15:16.160 --> 0:15:20.200
<v Speaker 2>well I'll wait. Really it became a different thing, and

0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:22.640
<v Speaker 2>all that is we laugh about it now. But the

0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:25.000
<v Speaker 2>work it took to get there and to that picture

0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:28.520
<v Speaker 2>was I mean, we two years into a lot of

0:15:28.560 --> 0:15:30.440
<v Speaker 2>work to get to that point. And the picture was

0:15:30.480 --> 0:15:32.800
<v Speaker 2>even more special because you and I we were planning

0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:35.600
<v Speaker 2>to right, We're just gonna get a house on Long Island.

0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:37.440
<v Speaker 2>We're going to spend the time out there. We got

0:15:37.680 --> 0:15:40.240
<v Speaker 2>pool and all these bedrooms, We're gonna grill, We're gonna

0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:42.680
<v Speaker 2>hang I said, you know what, just ask the girls

0:15:42.680 --> 0:15:46.080
<v Speaker 2>see if they want to come fifteen seconds later, you

0:15:46.080 --> 0:15:46.960
<v Speaker 2>were like, hey, they're all in.

0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:48.920
<v Speaker 1>They're all in, and they said can we bring friends?

0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.520
<v Speaker 1>And you know what was also cool about the August

0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:57.560
<v Speaker 1>nineteenth date is that was exactly one year ago where

0:15:57.680 --> 0:16:02.240
<v Speaker 1>I was and I would just say, reintroduced to Sabine

0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:04.880
<v Speaker 1>as your girlfriend, because I've known Sabine since she was

0:16:04.960 --> 0:16:08.200
<v Speaker 1>two probably, and my girls have babysat heirs since she

0:16:08.360 --> 0:16:10.640
<v Speaker 1>was that same age, so we all knew each other.

0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:14.320
<v Speaker 1>But now we all, you know, a year ago, met

0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:16.960
<v Speaker 1>as in different roles, you know, and that's a lot

0:16:17.000 --> 0:16:19.160
<v Speaker 1>for kids to take in and to take on, and

0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:21.640
<v Speaker 1>so it's pretty cool to see how far we've come

0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:22.160
<v Speaker 1>in one year.

0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:27.520
<v Speaker 2>There was no awkwardness, There was no for us. It

0:16:27.600 --> 0:16:29.640
<v Speaker 2>wasn't a big deal like we went and hung out

0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:32.680
<v Speaker 2>as we didn't think, oh, this is special. Obviously we've

0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:36.360
<v Speaker 2>been hanging out plenty from graduations and birthdays and all

0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:39.000
<v Speaker 2>kinds of things, but this was one where they elected to, yes,

0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:42.160
<v Speaker 2>let's go celebrate TJ's birthday and all hang out together.

0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:44.280
<v Speaker 2>That was a that was a really really big deal

0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:48.800
<v Speaker 2>and it was a it was perfect. The birthday was perfect.

0:16:49.200 --> 0:16:53.160
<v Speaker 2>And that's weird to say because you think about birthdays

0:16:53.200 --> 0:16:54.840
<v Speaker 2>and said, what do you want? You want to party,

0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:56.440
<v Speaker 2>you want to go out, you want a nice restaurant,

0:16:56.520 --> 0:16:58.400
<v Speaker 2>you want an event, you want a trip, you want

0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:02.840
<v Speaker 2>to something. But the night of my August eighteenth, right,

0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:04.560
<v Speaker 2>it was just the three of us.

0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:07.240
<v Speaker 1>Because everybody everybody had places to be, they came to.

0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:11.320
<v Speaker 2>I went to bed that night, or fell asleep on

0:17:11.359 --> 0:17:15.600
<v Speaker 2>the couch. You were laying on me on one side,

0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:19.439
<v Speaker 2>and Sabine was on the couch on my other side,

0:17:19.680 --> 0:17:22.159
<v Speaker 2>kind of with her feet and her butt propped up

0:17:22.160 --> 0:17:25.400
<v Speaker 2>against me, and I'm still watching TV. And that's how

0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:28.880
<v Speaker 2>I went to sleep on or that's how my night

0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.400
<v Speaker 2>ended on August eighteenth. So you woke in the time

0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:34.680
<v Speaker 2>at midnight and say happy birthday to me. But then

0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:38.240
<v Speaker 2>we get in bed, and the bedroom we have has

0:17:38.280 --> 0:17:41.720
<v Speaker 2>a split situation where there's a fireplace that separates where

0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:43.439
<v Speaker 2>the bed is and then there's a sitting area on

0:17:43.440 --> 0:17:45.600
<v Speaker 2>the other side. So you get in bed and I

0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:47.800
<v Speaker 2>lay down in bed, and I was wondering what do

0:17:47.840 --> 0:17:49.639
<v Speaker 2>we do with Sabine because she was all asleep on

0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:52.879
<v Speaker 2>the couch in the bedroom essentially, and didn't want to

0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:54.400
<v Speaker 2>move her because I'd have to. You know, she's too

0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:56.840
<v Speaker 2>big now to just pick her up and carry downstairs,

0:17:57.800 --> 0:18:01.119
<v Speaker 2>so just leave her. But then throughout the night, and

0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:03.359
<v Speaker 2>it was a perfect thunderstorm.

0:18:02.760 --> 0:18:04.240
<v Speaker 1>That night, such a good thunderstorm.

0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:06.680
<v Speaker 2>But I could have my head on the pillow turned

0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:08.679
<v Speaker 2>one way, and I can see the love of my

0:18:08.720 --> 0:18:11.399
<v Speaker 2>life sitting laying next to me. And I turned my

0:18:11.440 --> 0:18:13.320
<v Speaker 2>head on the pillow the other way, and I can

0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:17.040
<v Speaker 2>see my little love sleeping on the couch. That is

0:18:17.080 --> 0:18:19.720
<v Speaker 2>how I went to bed on my birthday, and that's

0:18:19.720 --> 0:18:21.959
<v Speaker 2>how I woke up on my birthday. It was perfect.

0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:24.760
<v Speaker 1>That's so cool. I didn't really realize that, but that

0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:26.240
<v Speaker 1>makes so much sense. I loved that.

0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:37.159
<v Speaker 2>It was absolutely perfect. You know, all I want to

0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:39.480
<v Speaker 2>do is cook because I need to give me a grill.

0:18:39.600 --> 0:18:41.280
<v Speaker 1>Let's do it because I love to eat. So that's

0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:42.520
<v Speaker 1>what we're made for each other.

0:18:43.880 --> 0:18:47.480
<v Speaker 2>That could go badly in a few years.

0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:49.119
<v Speaker 1>Don't worry. I'm going to keep running.

0:18:49.160 --> 0:18:51.320
<v Speaker 2>But I keep but I grill. I don't feed you

0:18:51.359 --> 0:18:52.000
<v Speaker 2>bad stuff.

0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:54.680
<v Speaker 1>That's true. That's very true.

0:18:57.680 --> 0:18:59.000
<v Speaker 2>Now I see you looking at your notes.

0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:01.520
<v Speaker 1>Because the cooking was so much fun. And while some

0:19:01.560 --> 0:19:03.159
<v Speaker 1>of the times we were cooking or cleaning up. The

0:19:03.200 --> 0:19:06.399
<v Speaker 1>girls kind of took to their own devices and started

0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:09.239
<v Speaker 1>playing games, and that was really fun to watch. There

0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:10.920
<v Speaker 1>were card games I don't know the names of, but

0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:14.399
<v Speaker 1>there were spoons. At one point they're slapping. There was

0:19:14.440 --> 0:19:20.119
<v Speaker 1>all the yes it means laughing, I don't know. We

0:19:20.160 --> 0:19:23.520
<v Speaker 1>didn't partake in that, but we ended up getting together

0:19:23.600 --> 0:19:25.800
<v Speaker 1>in on the on the game night, and that was

0:19:25.920 --> 0:19:28.880
<v Speaker 1>we played a game called Worst Case Scenario. I don't

0:19:28.920 --> 0:19:30.840
<v Speaker 1>know if anyone else has ever played it, but it

0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:32.840
<v Speaker 1>was hilarious and the perfect game for us.

0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:34.320
<v Speaker 2>I meant to have. I meant to bring it so

0:19:34.359 --> 0:19:35.400
<v Speaker 2>we could give some scenarios.

0:19:36.800 --> 0:19:39.000
<v Speaker 1>It's like the worst possible thing you could think of, right,

0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:42.800
<v Speaker 1>And whoever came up with these scenarios, I would love

0:19:42.880 --> 0:19:45.600
<v Speaker 1>to just I'd love to interview because they're sick. It's

0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:49.080
<v Speaker 1>twisted and you have to decide and rank which would

0:19:49.119 --> 0:19:52.119
<v Speaker 1>be the worst of the worst scenarios. It's hilarious.

0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:56.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to give me one. Go ahead and shout

0:19:56.440 --> 0:19:58.360
<v Speaker 2>it out to me under.

0:19:58.119 --> 0:20:02.800
<v Speaker 1>A collapsed building, or stitch your own wound on your cha.

0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:05.120
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, that's right. Was it a bullet wound? Yes,

0:20:05.600 --> 0:20:07.520
<v Speaker 2>your own bullet wood. There was one that was like

0:20:07.560 --> 0:20:10.480
<v Speaker 2>stitch an open wound on your own chest? Or would

0:20:10.480 --> 0:20:12.640
<v Speaker 2>you rather be stuck under a building? Would you rather

0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:16.960
<v Speaker 2>eat your best friend as you're stranded.

0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:17.280
<v Speaker 1>On an island.

0:20:17.560 --> 0:20:20.560
<v Speaker 2>There were all these weird things, but they they they

0:20:20.600 --> 0:20:22.560
<v Speaker 2>make you think you have to rank them, you have

0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:24.480
<v Speaker 2>to rank well. Anyway, we got really caught up in

0:20:24.480 --> 0:20:26.840
<v Speaker 2>that game. That was a blast, but it was a

0:20:26.840 --> 0:20:29.960
<v Speaker 2>perfect birthday. I didn't get the cake I wanted, but

0:20:30.000 --> 0:20:30.560
<v Speaker 2>I got a cake.

0:20:30.680 --> 0:20:32.800
<v Speaker 1>Yes, So what did you request?

0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:35.920
<v Speaker 2>I wanted a triple layer cake with three different flavors

0:20:35.960 --> 0:20:38.160
<v Speaker 2>on east layer. I didn't think that was that complicated.

0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:40.359
<v Speaker 1>Well, Sabina and I made a two layer cake and

0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:42.680
<v Speaker 1>it was fun fetty.

0:20:43.400 --> 0:20:45.600
<v Speaker 2>My point is why even ask I feel like that

0:20:45.640 --> 0:20:48.359
<v Speaker 2>was a compromise. It wasn't a compromise. I asked for

0:20:48.440 --> 0:20:51.520
<v Speaker 2>three layers, it's two. I asked her three flavors, and

0:20:51.560 --> 0:20:54.600
<v Speaker 2>it's something that a five year ol wouldn't even ask for.

0:20:56.720 --> 0:21:00.800
<v Speaker 1>But it was festive. Okay, next year, I promise you

0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:03.119
<v Speaker 1>it will make you a three layer cake. And you

0:21:03.200 --> 0:21:06.040
<v Speaker 1>just but you didn't tell us like the flavors I did?

0:21:06.080 --> 0:21:14.240
<v Speaker 1>You did chocolate? Oh okay, so fine, Okay, we'll do that.

0:21:14.359 --> 0:21:17.719
<v Speaker 1>It'll be amazing and next year it's on.

0:21:18.040 --> 0:21:20.520
<v Speaker 2>I can't thank you enough though you all. Look you,

0:21:20.560 --> 0:21:22.280
<v Speaker 2>all the effort you put in. You've been saying for

0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:25.920
<v Speaker 2>about a month now, which is a little a little arrogant.

0:21:26.400 --> 0:21:29.000
<v Speaker 2>It was a little annoying. She kept saying, yeah, I

0:21:29.160 --> 0:21:31.960
<v Speaker 2>nailed the birthday gifts. She was saying it for a

0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:35.200
<v Speaker 2>month and you did? You actually did? I don't want

0:21:35.240 --> 0:21:37.360
<v Speaker 2>to the main one, I won't tell until we actually

0:21:37.520 --> 0:21:39.119
<v Speaker 2>it's an experience.

0:21:38.680 --> 0:21:41.359
<v Speaker 1>Yes, that was the big The big gift was an

0:21:41.400 --> 0:21:44.040
<v Speaker 1>experienced gift, which those are my favorite gifts to give

0:21:44.240 --> 0:21:46.760
<v Speaker 1>because you can't return them. They don't get broken or

0:21:46.840 --> 0:21:49.439
<v Speaker 1>lost or don't get scratches on it. You and you

0:21:49.720 --> 0:21:50.480
<v Speaker 1>remember it forever.

0:21:50.720 --> 0:21:52.960
<v Speaker 2>This is a go and this was absolutely perfect. It's

0:21:52.960 --> 0:21:55.359
<v Speaker 2>one and we will talk about it when it comes,

0:21:55.400 --> 0:21:57.960
<v Speaker 2>and it's coming at the end of September, right, Yes,

0:21:58.160 --> 0:22:00.280
<v Speaker 2>so we will. We will do it as we get closer.

0:22:00.320 --> 0:22:02.399
<v Speaker 2>But there was other stuff. One of them was the

0:22:02.400 --> 0:22:04.760
<v Speaker 2>most one of the funniest things I've ever received. But

0:22:04.880 --> 0:22:07.359
<v Speaker 2>it goes back to when were we in LA and

0:22:07.400 --> 0:22:07.879
<v Speaker 2>it's happened.

0:22:08.000 --> 0:22:10.639
<v Speaker 1>That was for the iHeart Radio Awards.

0:22:10.920 --> 0:22:14.359
<v Speaker 2>Was that what month. Yes, so something happened in March

0:22:14.440 --> 0:22:15.280
<v Speaker 2>and you've delivered.

0:22:15.760 --> 0:22:20.320
<v Speaker 1>He delivered, So we searched. I guess it was Hollywood.

0:22:20.520 --> 0:22:21.400
<v Speaker 1>Was it Rodeo Drive?

0:22:21.480 --> 0:22:23.800
<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, no, we'd have found it on Rodeo.

0:22:23.880 --> 0:22:28.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, right on Hollywood. We went to on Marshals because

0:22:28.320 --> 0:22:29.440
<v Speaker 1>TJ thought he needed to stop.

0:22:29.440 --> 0:22:31.720
<v Speaker 2>Stop. Wait, wait, you're gonna say this is the wrong

0:22:31.720 --> 0:22:32.960
<v Speaker 2>way and get the wrong impression.

0:22:33.040 --> 0:22:34.960
<v Speaker 1>I was just gonna say you needed a little extra

0:22:35.080 --> 0:22:41.080
<v Speaker 1>bling on your fit. I knew you you're gonna Okay,

0:22:41.080 --> 0:22:41.959
<v Speaker 1>how would you describe it?

0:22:41.960 --> 0:22:45.200
<v Speaker 2>It's very simple. A lapel pen.

0:22:45.800 --> 0:22:46.920
<v Speaker 1>That's it.

0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:50.800
<v Speaker 2>Men, a lapel pen. It's not a it's not a

0:22:50.920 --> 0:22:54.640
<v Speaker 2>complicated thing. But men are often dressed in very basic way.

0:22:54.680 --> 0:22:57.280
<v Speaker 2>You know, I'm fairly conservative dresser. I'm not gonna wear

0:22:57.320 --> 0:23:01.639
<v Speaker 2>something just wow, very loud. So you just put a

0:23:01.720 --> 0:23:05.960
<v Speaker 2>hint of something, just a little lapel pen, a little flash.

0:23:06.000 --> 0:23:07.639
<v Speaker 2>You can have a little diamond in it. If it's

0:23:07.680 --> 0:23:10.920
<v Speaker 2>a metal even better. But you didn't call it that.

0:23:11.119 --> 0:23:13.960
<v Speaker 2>During an taping of a podcast in La And it

0:23:13.960 --> 0:23:14.720
<v Speaker 2>was the funniest thing.

0:23:14.640 --> 0:23:16.560
<v Speaker 1>Up, I said that you were on the hunt for

0:23:16.640 --> 0:23:22.800
<v Speaker 1>a jeweled man broach that doesn't sound the same, and

0:23:23.160 --> 0:23:26.280
<v Speaker 1>it cracked us up. I was tremendously and so I remember,

0:23:26.359 --> 0:23:28.160
<v Speaker 1>like I think the next day or two, I put

0:23:28.160 --> 0:23:30.399
<v Speaker 1>I always keep a list, like gifts for DJ and

0:23:30.400 --> 0:23:32.520
<v Speaker 1>when things pop up during the year, which is a

0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:34.359
<v Speaker 1>good thing to do because you always forget, I'm like,

0:23:34.720 --> 0:23:36.800
<v Speaker 1>this would make a great gift. I was like, find

0:23:36.840 --> 0:23:38.720
<v Speaker 1>a jeweled man broach.

0:23:38.840 --> 0:23:41.280
<v Speaker 2>You know, let's stop. Get this. This is your public

0:23:41.320 --> 0:23:44.640
<v Speaker 2>service announcement. Everybody's always stressed out about what to give

0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:47.159
<v Speaker 2>their significant other for their birthday or Christmas or anything.

0:23:47.359 --> 0:23:49.520
<v Speaker 2>It is so simple. All you gotta do is pay

0:23:49.560 --> 0:23:52.800
<v Speaker 2>attention to them three hundred and sixty four days out

0:23:52.800 --> 0:23:54.720
<v Speaker 2>of the year, and then when the birthday comes on,

0:23:54.880 --> 0:23:56.520
<v Speaker 2>you've nailed it. Just pay attention.

0:23:56.760 --> 0:23:59.879
<v Speaker 1>I have a notes folder and it starts anew and

0:24:00.240 --> 0:24:02.480
<v Speaker 1>I write them down. And it has been amazing, Like

0:24:02.560 --> 0:24:05.480
<v Speaker 1>I knew something you really liked or someone you really

0:24:05.920 --> 0:24:08.040
<v Speaker 1>like to listen to, and so I thought checked to

0:24:08.080 --> 0:24:10.880
<v Speaker 1>see all of that stuff. And so it worked out.

0:24:11.440 --> 0:24:13.399
<v Speaker 1>And I will tell you it is hard to find

0:24:14.000 --> 0:24:15.840
<v Speaker 1>a man's like a man.

0:24:15.640 --> 0:24:19.320
<v Speaker 2>Broach because they're not out there. They're called the elephants.

0:24:19.920 --> 0:24:21.760
<v Speaker 2>Do a different Google search.

0:24:23.320 --> 0:24:26.320
<v Speaker 1>Probously. I did the other search and I'm just saying

0:24:26.359 --> 0:24:30.720
<v Speaker 1>this for fun, but they aren't that easy to find, actually,

0:24:32.160 --> 0:24:36.240
<v Speaker 1>a bejeweled one. I could have gotten this simple one. Anyway,

0:24:36.240 --> 0:24:40.879
<v Speaker 1>thank you, David Yeerman. I did find one.

0:24:39.760 --> 0:24:42.080
<v Speaker 2>And it's nice. It's actually kind of perfect. And I

0:24:42.119 --> 0:24:43.960
<v Speaker 2>wore it out that day when we lunched and it

0:24:44.000 --> 0:24:47.199
<v Speaker 2>was so you nailed it absolutely. But then the ultimate

0:24:47.240 --> 0:24:50.800
<v Speaker 2>gift was very good. The experience and the card was awesome.

0:24:51.400 --> 0:24:53.240
<v Speaker 1>Oh yes, can we talk about the card?

0:24:53.320 --> 0:24:53.960
<v Speaker 2>What about the card?

0:24:54.080 --> 0:24:57.240
<v Speaker 1>So last year I came over, I was all nervous.

0:24:57.280 --> 0:24:59.440
<v Speaker 1>I was gonna you know, ce Sabine. I was meeting

0:24:59.520 --> 0:25:03.360
<v Speaker 1>TJ's parents. Oh yeah, and I think in the fluster

0:25:03.560 --> 0:25:07.320
<v Speaker 1>of bringing his gifts over, I left the card at

0:25:07.359 --> 0:25:09.680
<v Speaker 1>the apartment at my apartment, and so I had to

0:25:09.320 --> 0:25:12.400
<v Speaker 1>give it to him the next day and he said, uh,

0:25:12.560 --> 0:25:14.560
<v Speaker 1>this is late. It's not my birthday, so it's just

0:25:14.600 --> 0:25:16.560
<v Speaker 1>gonna have to wait until next year when I open it.

0:25:16.840 --> 0:25:19.880
<v Speaker 1>So he is held on to this card for an

0:25:20.040 --> 0:25:22.840
<v Speaker 1>entire year, and then you forgot to bring it to

0:25:22.920 --> 0:25:24.119
<v Speaker 1>your birthday celebration.

0:25:24.560 --> 0:25:27.840
<v Speaker 2>You know what. And I know this sounds petty, but

0:25:27.920 --> 0:25:30.639
<v Speaker 2>I am petty. But I'm fun petty. I'm not I

0:25:30.760 --> 0:25:33.920
<v Speaker 2>like like certain types of petty, but this is a

0:25:33.960 --> 0:25:36.960
<v Speaker 2>petty I like. Right, you didn't give me this gift

0:25:37.040 --> 0:25:40.040
<v Speaker 2>on my birthday, so why the next day? The next

0:25:40.080 --> 0:25:42.480
<v Speaker 2>So what if you had not given me my birthday gifts?

0:25:42.760 --> 0:25:44.720
<v Speaker 2>Somebody doesn't give you a birthday gift on your birthday

0:25:44.720 --> 0:25:47.320
<v Speaker 2>and they give it to you four days later, you're

0:25:47.359 --> 0:25:48.240
<v Speaker 2>going to think one of them.

0:25:48.359 --> 0:25:49.600
<v Speaker 1>It's a belated birthday gift.

0:25:49.640 --> 0:25:52.679
<v Speaker 2>It's a blated gift. So you missed my birthday. So

0:25:52.720 --> 0:25:56.520
<v Speaker 2>that's the way I feel about the card. So now

0:25:56.560 --> 0:25:59.320
<v Speaker 2>we have a tradition that I and my petty ways

0:25:59.359 --> 0:26:02.000
<v Speaker 2>have set up that every year she gives me a

0:26:02.040 --> 0:26:05.280
<v Speaker 2>card on my birthday, that card won't be opened till

0:26:05.280 --> 0:26:09.160
<v Speaker 2>the following year, so it's a delay. So the card

0:26:09.240 --> 0:26:10.800
<v Speaker 2>she gave me on the birthday this year I will

0:26:10.800 --> 0:26:14.320
<v Speaker 2>open August nineteenth of twenty twenty five.

0:26:14.440 --> 0:26:15.199
<v Speaker 1>Did you open?

0:26:15.520 --> 0:26:16.000
<v Speaker 2>I didn't?

0:26:16.760 --> 0:26:18.080
<v Speaker 1>You didn't open the belated one?

0:26:18.119 --> 0:26:20.080
<v Speaker 2>You know what I thought it was? You know, I

0:26:20.119 --> 0:26:23.440
<v Speaker 2>thought that this might be a good moment to do it. Sabine,

0:26:23.480 --> 0:26:27.400
<v Speaker 2>can you help me out, please? Baby Sabine has the

0:26:27.440 --> 0:26:30.679
<v Speaker 2>card that you gave me, Oh my god, for my

0:26:30.760 --> 0:26:34.120
<v Speaker 2>birthday in twenty twenty three. You can see it has

0:26:34.320 --> 0:26:37.520
<v Speaker 2>not been opening. It's sealed, says TJ, has got little

0:26:37.560 --> 0:26:40.119
<v Speaker 2>hearts on it. I have not seen this card.

0:26:40.760 --> 0:26:42.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what it says.

0:26:42.000 --> 0:26:42.560
<v Speaker 2>You don't remember.

0:26:42.600 --> 0:26:44.320
<v Speaker 1>I have no idea where the card is. I have

0:26:44.359 --> 0:26:45.200
<v Speaker 1>no idea what it says.

0:26:45.240 --> 0:26:46.600
<v Speaker 2>Do we want to commit now to whether or not

0:26:46.640 --> 0:26:48.880
<v Speaker 2>I should read it? You can, no matter what.

0:26:48.680 --> 0:26:53.000
<v Speaker 1>I mean, going, No matter what I mean, it's something.

0:26:53.600 --> 0:26:55.840
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, this is hilarious.

0:27:00.880 --> 0:27:03.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, there's a whole letter in here. All right,

0:27:03.920 --> 0:27:06.520
<v Speaker 2>let me just read what the card itself, whoever made it,

0:27:06.760 --> 0:27:10.359
<v Speaker 2>says on the front. It's tough being both handsome and humble,

0:27:13.119 --> 0:27:18.119
<v Speaker 2>and yet somehow you manage both. Happy birthday. Now, there's

0:27:18.200 --> 0:27:21.680
<v Speaker 2>a lot of stuff in here that you wrote version.

0:27:21.840 --> 0:27:27.119
<v Speaker 2>I see devilish sense of humor in here. Okay, deeper,

0:27:27.160 --> 0:27:31.760
<v Speaker 2>I fall in love with you the Yeah, I'm gonna

0:27:31.840 --> 0:27:32.280
<v Speaker 2>leave it there.

0:27:34.560 --> 0:27:36.320
<v Speaker 1>I have no idea what I wrote. And you know

0:27:36.359 --> 0:27:39.320
<v Speaker 1>what's so funny. I knew obviously that you hadn't read

0:27:39.359 --> 0:27:41.919
<v Speaker 1>my card from last year, So as I was writing

0:27:41.960 --> 0:27:44.480
<v Speaker 1>your card for this year, I got deeply concerned that

0:27:44.600 --> 0:27:48.200
<v Speaker 1>maybe I would feel the same sentiments and write similar things,

0:27:48.200 --> 0:27:50.920
<v Speaker 1>and I thought he'll actually be able to compare them.

0:27:51.200 --> 0:27:53.440
<v Speaker 1>And I thought about that when I was writing, Okay,

0:27:53.480 --> 0:27:53.919
<v Speaker 1>this is you.

0:27:54.160 --> 0:27:59.879
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I'm sorry, tradition is over. Okay, sorry you're writing something.

0:28:00.119 --> 0:28:01.760
<v Speaker 2>Thinking oh my god, No, I was.

0:28:01.720 --> 0:28:04.480
<v Speaker 1>Just like, what if I said the same thing last year,

0:28:04.560 --> 0:28:07.160
<v Speaker 1>because I don't know, but I don't think it's true.

0:28:07.320 --> 0:28:10.720
<v Speaker 2>Well, I won't know until next year, is the thing.

0:28:10.920 --> 0:28:14.320
<v Speaker 1>So also, just to continue the tradition, you gave me

0:28:14.400 --> 0:28:17.440
<v Speaker 1>two cards for my birthday this year, one to open

0:28:17.480 --> 0:28:20.360
<v Speaker 1>now and one to open the next year. So I

0:28:20.400 --> 0:28:23.720
<v Speaker 1>have the card, and that's also stressful to make sure

0:28:23.760 --> 0:28:25.879
<v Speaker 1>you know where you put the card. To find the

0:28:25.920 --> 0:28:28.280
<v Speaker 1>card a year later, I know you have it.

0:28:28.320 --> 0:28:29.600
<v Speaker 2>So I'm petty.

0:28:31.359 --> 0:28:34.760
<v Speaker 1>And that you have a devilish sense of humor. Apparently

0:28:34.800 --> 0:28:35.520
<v Speaker 1>I was already.

0:28:35.320 --> 0:28:38.400
<v Speaker 2>Aware of that. But no, I do thank you for

0:28:38.480 --> 0:28:41.840
<v Speaker 2>what that was. And again, Analyse and Ava and Montgomery

0:28:41.960 --> 0:28:45.600
<v Speaker 2>and Nive love those girls, and again the friends have

0:28:45.680 --> 0:28:49.000
<v Speaker 2>become a part of the family with me over the

0:28:49.040 --> 0:28:51.640
<v Speaker 2>past couple of years. And it was it was a perfect,

0:28:51.640 --> 0:28:54.200
<v Speaker 2>perfect birthday, and I enjoyed it, every bit of it.

0:28:54.440 --> 0:28:56.560
<v Speaker 2>I love that and you and to be made it

0:28:57.120 --> 0:28:59.640
<v Speaker 2>made it really really special. So thank you for that.

0:29:09.000 --> 0:29:14.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't feel older because I haven't hit a particular

0:29:14.440 --> 0:29:17.440
<v Speaker 2>age that they say I'm supposed to feel older. Right,

0:29:17.480 --> 0:29:20.120
<v Speaker 2>I mentioned that the research says that there are two

0:29:20.160 --> 0:29:25.920
<v Speaker 2>particular ages that you just drop off. It's not gradual.

0:29:25.960 --> 0:29:29.800
<v Speaker 2>We don't age gradually. We age suddenly. Seriously, it's not

0:29:30.120 --> 0:29:33.720
<v Speaker 2>a gradual getting older. They say, at a molecular level,

0:29:33.880 --> 0:29:36.800
<v Speaker 2>there are two particular birthdays and ages. They have pinpointed

0:29:36.880 --> 0:29:40.680
<v Speaker 2>the day the birthdays that you drop off to a

0:29:40.720 --> 0:29:43.440
<v Speaker 2>point that there's a severe And I didn't tell you

0:29:43.440 --> 0:29:45.120
<v Speaker 2>this on purpose because I want anything.

0:29:45.160 --> 0:29:47.640
<v Speaker 1>Guess so obviously it's not fifty, because you've just told

0:29:47.640 --> 0:29:49.760
<v Speaker 1>me that. So I'm going to guess. I'm going to

0:29:49.840 --> 0:29:56.440
<v Speaker 1>guess thirty, and then my next guess is going to be.

0:29:57.360 --> 0:29:58.680
<v Speaker 2>There are two ages, so thirty is one.

0:29:58.760 --> 0:30:00.680
<v Speaker 1>Thirty is one for mine, and and the other one

0:30:00.680 --> 0:30:04.040
<v Speaker 1>would be I would say like seventy.

0:30:03.640 --> 0:30:05.960
<v Speaker 2>Five, seventy five. A lot of people they've done research

0:30:06.000 --> 0:30:08.360
<v Speaker 2>on seventy five. That isn't what this research now. So

0:30:08.400 --> 0:30:10.880
<v Speaker 2>what would you say, Andy, Well, if the two ages

0:30:11.320 --> 0:30:16.120
<v Speaker 2>that research now shows people you drastically age at the

0:30:16.200 --> 0:30:18.720
<v Speaker 2>on a molecular level at these two particular ages. What

0:30:18.720 --> 0:30:19.280
<v Speaker 2>would you give.

0:30:20.000 --> 0:30:23.200
<v Speaker 4>Feel like forty is a big one because you're finally

0:30:23.240 --> 0:30:27.440
<v Speaker 4>out of like young, I don't know this category, and

0:30:27.480 --> 0:30:31.080
<v Speaker 4>then maybe like seventy, well okay.

0:30:31.120 --> 0:30:33.680
<v Speaker 2>He's closer. Okay, the two ages that they say you

0:30:33.800 --> 0:30:38.480
<v Speaker 2>drop off drastically in age forty four and sixty.

0:30:38.960 --> 0:30:39.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow.

0:30:39.960 --> 0:30:42.480
<v Speaker 2>Research was done. Some of these researchers were out at Stanford,

0:30:42.480 --> 0:30:45.000
<v Speaker 2>but they show on a molecular level that there is

0:30:45.040 --> 0:30:48.280
<v Speaker 2>a drastic drop off in the behavior of your molecules

0:30:48.320 --> 0:30:51.560
<v Speaker 2>at those two particular ages. This study was done luck

0:30:51.640 --> 0:30:54.280
<v Speaker 2>they used over one hundred people and follow them for years.

0:30:54.880 --> 0:30:57.880
<v Speaker 2>But they are particular molecules that actually have to do

0:30:58.000 --> 0:31:02.800
<v Speaker 2>with keeping tissue together. And at forty four and at sixty,

0:31:02.840 --> 0:31:05.440
<v Speaker 2>this now explains how your skin is different. There is

0:31:05.560 --> 0:31:09.240
<v Speaker 2>muscle loss, there is or become heart issues because of that.

0:31:09.480 --> 0:31:12.360
<v Speaker 2>And they absolutely say that you the researchers, that you're

0:31:12.400 --> 0:31:15.560
<v Speaker 2>supposed to give like particular emphasis at these times to

0:31:15.640 --> 0:31:18.240
<v Speaker 2>your health. You're not supposed to disregard it in your thirties, clearly,

0:31:18.520 --> 0:31:21.440
<v Speaker 2>but you need to be giving particular attention to how

0:31:21.480 --> 0:31:24.960
<v Speaker 2>you behave at those ages. Another thing, your ability to

0:31:25.000 --> 0:31:30.719
<v Speaker 2>metabolize caffeine and alcohol absolutely drop off at those two ages.

0:31:30.800 --> 0:31:35.240
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, wow, But isn't the thing we all don't?

0:31:35.240 --> 0:31:37.800
<v Speaker 2>We all have somebody in our family. I can remember

0:31:37.840 --> 0:31:40.760
<v Speaker 2>my uncle Muhammed when I was a kid, saying no. No.

0:31:40.760 --> 0:31:43.560
<v Speaker 2>When I got old, I was in my thirties and

0:31:43.600 --> 0:31:46.240
<v Speaker 2>he said, man, how do you stay in shape? He said, Man,

0:31:46.240 --> 0:31:48.400
<v Speaker 2>when I hit forty just everything change. Oh yeah, how

0:31:48.400 --> 0:31:48.840
<v Speaker 2>don't you heart?

0:31:48.840 --> 0:31:52.000
<v Speaker 1>People say that absolutely yes. I mean, I'm I feel

0:31:52.000 --> 0:31:55.959
<v Speaker 1>like I'm struggling running training for this marathon more than

0:31:55.960 --> 0:31:57.960
<v Speaker 1>I ever have before. And I ran my first marathon

0:31:58.000 --> 0:32:01.360
<v Speaker 1>at forty six. But I've no to shift. I'm like, WHOA,

0:32:01.360 --> 0:32:03.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna have to do some things differently. I'm gonna

0:32:03.480 --> 0:32:06.160
<v Speaker 1>have to fuel differently. I'm gonna have to sleep differently.

0:32:06.200 --> 0:32:08.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna have to make some changes because I'm not able.

0:32:10.040 --> 0:32:11.760
<v Speaker 1>I just don't think I'm able to physically do what

0:32:11.800 --> 0:32:13.600
<v Speaker 1>I could do even a few years ago. I have to.

0:32:13.800 --> 0:32:16.200
<v Speaker 1>It's not it's not huge, but it's enough for I've

0:32:16.240 --> 0:32:16.680
<v Speaker 1>noticed it.

0:32:17.040 --> 0:32:21.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad I'm getting you now. On the upside here.

0:32:24.280 --> 0:32:27.640
<v Speaker 1>Well, you've already hit one of those.

0:32:27.920 --> 0:32:29.840
<v Speaker 2>I haven't. I haven't felt it yet.

0:32:29.880 --> 0:32:30.240
<v Speaker 1>You haven't.

0:32:30.280 --> 0:32:32.440
<v Speaker 2>I haven't felt that yet. But we were Ernie Hudson,

0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:34.800
<v Speaker 2>we were talking to not too long. The lack of

0:32:34.840 --> 0:32:37.800
<v Speaker 2>a better way to describe the black Okay, yes he

0:32:37.840 --> 0:32:41.040
<v Speaker 2>loves that, he said, seventy. But everybody can pinpoint when

0:32:41.080 --> 0:32:43.400
<v Speaker 2>I hit. He called it mister jiggles or something in

0:32:43.400 --> 0:32:46.440
<v Speaker 2>his stomach. Everybody has a thing when they hit. This

0:32:46.560 --> 0:32:48.960
<v Speaker 2>actually makes sense to a boom. It hits you at

0:32:48.960 --> 0:32:51.560
<v Speaker 2>one time instead of a gradual getting older.

0:32:52.200 --> 0:32:56.080
<v Speaker 1>Well that's good to know. And that actually almost made

0:32:56.160 --> 0:32:59.640
<v Speaker 1>me forget what I forgot this past week. Oh you're

0:32:59.640 --> 0:33:01.480
<v Speaker 1>going there, okay, of course, all right. Just wanted to

0:33:01.480 --> 0:33:03.760
<v Speaker 1>make sure I didn't want to forget what I forgot.

0:33:04.120 --> 0:33:05.560
<v Speaker 2>Why don't you just transition to it?

0:33:06.000 --> 0:33:09.400
<v Speaker 1>You could have just you know, I'm horrible transition. It

0:33:09.440 --> 0:33:10.360
<v Speaker 1>is not my strength.

0:33:10.360 --> 0:33:14.200
<v Speaker 2>So everybody's at fault here. About the birthdays, there were

0:33:14.200 --> 0:33:15.760
<v Speaker 2>so many talked about how much fun we had and

0:33:15.760 --> 0:33:17.440
<v Speaker 2>how much emphasis we put on the birthday, and so

0:33:17.520 --> 0:33:19.640
<v Speaker 2>much attention was on the cake that I had. That

0:33:19.720 --> 0:33:21.560
<v Speaker 2>wasn't what I asked for. But while she was so

0:33:21.640 --> 0:33:26.520
<v Speaker 2>busy doing all these things. What is it? You know,

0:33:26.560 --> 0:33:29.360
<v Speaker 2>a lot of Leo's. Your dad's birthday is August thirteenth,

0:33:29.440 --> 0:33:34.080
<v Speaker 2>your mom's the fifeenth, yes, fifteenth, right, and mine is

0:33:34.080 --> 0:33:36.600
<v Speaker 2>the nineteenth. I think we might be missing somebody. There

0:33:36.640 --> 0:33:38.600
<v Speaker 2>was a lot. Just that's a pretty good cluster people.

0:33:39.000 --> 0:33:42.520
<v Speaker 1>And all my daughter's friends, like you know, Ava's roommate Raye,

0:33:42.600 --> 0:33:45.200
<v Speaker 1>his birthday's August twenty second. Her best friend Ava Cluoso

0:33:45.280 --> 0:33:49.640
<v Speaker 1>is August thirteenth. There's just August is filled with lots

0:33:49.680 --> 0:33:51.840
<v Speaker 1>of birthdays. So folks.

0:33:52.240 --> 0:33:54.920
<v Speaker 2>On our trip out of town, while we were all

0:33:54.960 --> 0:33:58.040
<v Speaker 2>hanging out, having a good time, everybody's all smiles, family together,

0:33:58.120 --> 0:34:01.080
<v Speaker 2>taking pictures. It is a good sign. Oh my sweet Lord, baby,

0:34:01.120 --> 0:34:07.560
<v Speaker 2>baby Jesus. We forgot robots mom's birthday.

0:34:07.760 --> 0:34:10.759
<v Speaker 1>It was gutting and I've never forgotten it. I mean,

0:34:10.800 --> 0:34:13.839
<v Speaker 1>I had sent gifts to their house, but they were

0:34:13.880 --> 0:34:19.040
<v Speaker 1>traveling for their birthdays. I facetimed my dad. I was

0:34:19.080 --> 0:34:22.399
<v Speaker 1>the first text he got that morning. I sent him

0:34:22.400 --> 0:34:24.960
<v Speaker 1>a happy birthday on mo Oji and just all Dad,

0:34:25.000 --> 0:34:28.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna FaceTime you. And we did and it was lovely.

0:34:28.239 --> 0:34:31.399
<v Speaker 1>And my mom's birthday is two days later, so how

0:34:31.440 --> 0:34:34.839
<v Speaker 1>could I forget that? Well, we were all caught up

0:34:34.880 --> 0:34:38.520
<v Speaker 1>in the anticipation of celebrating DJ's birthday, and we were

0:34:38.600 --> 0:34:44.720
<v Speaker 1>all traveling in the girls. No, it's all my fault.

0:34:45.920 --> 0:34:48.200
<v Speaker 1>And yeah, the girls were coming on trains and we

0:34:48.280 --> 0:34:51.520
<v Speaker 1>had the car, and there was so much coordination and excitement,

0:34:51.719 --> 0:34:54.560
<v Speaker 1>and I went to bed feeling so happy that we

0:34:54.640 --> 0:34:56.759
<v Speaker 1>just had a great night. And then I woke up

0:34:56.800 --> 0:34:59.239
<v Speaker 1>in the morning and I saw that my mom at

0:34:59.320 --> 0:35:03.319
<v Speaker 1>texted me at night where they were. This resort they

0:35:03.360 --> 0:35:05.759
<v Speaker 1>were at were very kind and wrote happy birthday and

0:35:05.880 --> 0:35:07.560
<v Speaker 1>rose petals on her bed, and she's like, isn't this

0:35:07.600 --> 0:35:11.000
<v Speaker 1>so sweet? Look what the resort did for me, which

0:35:11.120 --> 0:35:13.120
<v Speaker 1>meant when I woke up the next morning that I

0:35:13.239 --> 0:35:17.680
<v Speaker 1>completely missed her birthday. In my mind, it was Friday,

0:35:17.760 --> 0:35:20.239
<v Speaker 1>not Thursday, so I had my days mixed up. It

0:35:20.280 --> 0:35:22.880
<v Speaker 1>was just, yeah, I didn't make a million excuses, but

0:35:23.000 --> 0:35:24.479
<v Speaker 1>I dropped the ball.

0:35:24.640 --> 0:35:26.960
<v Speaker 2>You know, it didn't It fell to odd because you'd

0:35:27.000 --> 0:35:28.520
<v Speaker 2>been talking to her all day. It's not like you

0:35:28.600 --> 0:35:30.759
<v Speaker 2>just didn't speak to your mom during the day. I

0:35:30.800 --> 0:35:31.799
<v Speaker 2>don't even know if that makes it.

0:35:31.760 --> 0:35:34.080
<v Speaker 1>Worse, it makes it worse. I was texting her and

0:35:34.120 --> 0:35:36.719
<v Speaker 1>I didn't say happy birthday, and I had done it

0:35:36.760 --> 0:35:39.480
<v Speaker 1>for my dad, so that it was just I and

0:35:39.520 --> 0:35:42.279
<v Speaker 1>then I just felt so bad. And then I was

0:35:42.320 --> 0:35:45.239
<v Speaker 1>texting her and I called her my dad. They were

0:35:45.239 --> 0:35:47.040
<v Speaker 1>in the middle of doing something and my dad the

0:35:47.040 --> 0:35:50.200
<v Speaker 1>first day, she said, was when he answered the phone,

0:35:50.600 --> 0:35:53.719
<v Speaker 1>and I thought, oh no, he dropped something, and I

0:35:53.840 --> 0:35:56.000
<v Speaker 1>like he was startled with the phone. He dropped anyway,

0:35:56.160 --> 0:35:57.360
<v Speaker 1>he said, I got to call you back, and so

0:35:57.400 --> 0:35:59.920
<v Speaker 1>that I had like thirty forty five minutes of feeling

0:36:00.400 --> 0:36:03.480
<v Speaker 1>total panic that I had just made them so upset.

0:36:03.480 --> 0:36:05.440
<v Speaker 1>I was just freaking out that I had forgotten her birthday.

0:36:05.440 --> 0:36:07.960
<v Speaker 1>But anyway, she was very lovely, very gracious, very kind.

0:36:08.360 --> 0:36:10.400
<v Speaker 1>She's like, all that matters is that you're calling me

0:36:10.480 --> 0:36:12.000
<v Speaker 1>now and I get to talk to you now, and

0:36:12.480 --> 0:36:15.279
<v Speaker 1>she was very sweet and forgiving. But I just that

0:36:15.360 --> 0:36:17.600
<v Speaker 1>feeling of someone forgetting your birthday as an awful feeling,

0:36:17.719 --> 0:36:19.840
<v Speaker 1>especially someone that close to you, and I hate that.

0:36:20.000 --> 0:36:23.839
<v Speaker 1>I possibly she claims I didn't, but I know it

0:36:23.880 --> 0:36:26.520
<v Speaker 1>had to sting, and I felt really awful about.

0:36:26.440 --> 0:36:27.920
<v Speaker 2>She was great, and that's one of those things you

0:36:27.960 --> 0:36:30.040
<v Speaker 2>were never you would were not going to be okay

0:36:30.120 --> 0:36:32.440
<v Speaker 2>until you talk to your mom and she let you

0:36:32.560 --> 0:36:35.600
<v Speaker 2>know she was okay. That was a bad when we

0:36:35.640 --> 0:36:38.239
<v Speaker 2>had a rough hour or two anticipation because I think

0:36:38.280 --> 0:36:40.279
<v Speaker 2>you tried to facetimer once and she didn't answer.

0:36:40.360 --> 0:36:42.840
<v Speaker 1>Didn't answer. Oh, and my mom always answers, And I

0:36:42.920 --> 0:36:45.360
<v Speaker 1>was like, oh, no, she's.

0:36:45.200 --> 0:36:45.680
<v Speaker 2>Mad at me.

0:36:45.760 --> 0:36:48.040
<v Speaker 1>She's not answering the FaceTime, and then Evan Anna both

0:36:48.040 --> 0:36:50.279
<v Speaker 1>looked at me and said, Mom, we forgot her birthday too.

0:36:50.320 --> 0:36:53.360
<v Speaker 1>So all of us did it, and we just felt awful,

0:36:53.640 --> 0:36:54.560
<v Speaker 1>like terrible.

0:36:55.000 --> 0:36:59.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, hey, kid and grandkids forgot the birthday. We were

0:36:59.360 --> 0:37:03.040
<v Speaker 2>all here, sell it right, celebrating the new guy. We

0:37:03.200 --> 0:37:04.920
<v Speaker 2>forgot mom and grand Yogi.

0:37:05.719 --> 0:37:10.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I yes, but mom and dad both Happy birthday guys,

0:37:10.200 --> 0:37:13.040
<v Speaker 1>and I just I'll make it up next year. It's

0:37:13.040 --> 0:37:13.680
<v Speaker 1>going to be amazing.

0:37:13.760 --> 0:37:16.960
<v Speaker 2>Have you forgotten one before? Can you remember forgetting somebody's

0:37:16.960 --> 0:37:18.480
<v Speaker 2>birthday that was a big deal?

0:37:19.120 --> 0:37:21.920
<v Speaker 1>No, I really think that is the first time in

0:37:21.960 --> 0:37:25.440
<v Speaker 1>my life where I have forgotten. I mean my nephews.

0:37:25.440 --> 0:37:27.640
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes I'm scrambling at like nine pm to send them

0:37:27.640 --> 0:37:30.120
<v Speaker 1>an Amazon gift card because I have done that, but

0:37:30.160 --> 0:37:32.960
<v Speaker 1>I've I think I've always sneaked it in, and also

0:37:33.719 --> 0:37:36.480
<v Speaker 1>my mom has helped remind me. Sometimes I'll remind the girls.

0:37:36.520 --> 0:37:39.879
<v Speaker 1>But I was I was wishing that. My dad, oh yeah,

0:37:39.920 --> 0:37:42.360
<v Speaker 1>texted me and said, remember it's your.

0:37:42.280 --> 0:37:46.280
<v Speaker 2>Mom's Okay, okay, Papa Robach, if you're listening your daughter

0:37:46.400 --> 0:37:50.759
<v Speaker 2>for about ten minutes turned her anger to you, like,

0:37:50.840 --> 0:37:51.799
<v Speaker 2>why didn't like you?

0:37:51.800 --> 0:37:54.840
<v Speaker 1>You're genuinely made my dad not tell me like you

0:37:54.880 --> 0:37:58.920
<v Speaker 1>texted your mom today. It was not his fault, obviously,

0:37:59.000 --> 0:38:01.960
<v Speaker 1>I just would have been so grateful you done that.

0:38:01.960 --> 0:38:02.560
<v Speaker 1>That's all.

0:38:02.840 --> 0:38:04.600
<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's well. You every once in a while we

0:38:04.600 --> 0:38:07.520
<v Speaker 2>forget a birthday. I don't think I forgot you know what, either,

0:38:07.719 --> 0:38:09.880
<v Speaker 2>I've messed up and like said, have a birthday on

0:38:09.920 --> 0:38:12.680
<v Speaker 2>the wrong day before, okay, but early, Okay, that's better.

0:38:12.880 --> 0:38:15.840
<v Speaker 2>It is better. But it wasn't a like I genuinely

0:38:15.880 --> 0:38:20.240
<v Speaker 2>forgot your birth date, right, but I got it in early,

0:38:20.320 --> 0:38:23.160
<v Speaker 2>so it wasn't a belated I've done that. But somebody

0:38:23.200 --> 0:38:24.680
<v Speaker 2>that close to me, I don't think I had, right.

0:38:24.719 --> 0:38:26.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean, other people, I'm sure I have, but someone

0:38:27.120 --> 0:38:29.000
<v Speaker 1>that close to me, no, this is the first time.

0:38:29.080 --> 0:38:32.000
<v Speaker 2>And dudes don't care either way. There's no friend, a

0:38:32.040 --> 0:38:34.640
<v Speaker 2>guy friend of mine ever cared. I'm Miss Trick's birthday

0:38:34.640 --> 0:38:37.399
<v Speaker 2>every year, you know what I'm saying. And he's never complained, right,

0:38:37.719 --> 0:38:40.399
<v Speaker 2>not one you get right, Hey cares.

0:38:40.760 --> 0:38:43.200
<v Speaker 1>But like if you forgot your mom's birthday, how would

0:38:43.200 --> 0:38:43.720
<v Speaker 1>she react?

0:38:45.640 --> 0:38:51.720
<v Speaker 2>I don't know because I would never do such a thing.

0:38:50.680 --> 0:38:57.040
<v Speaker 1>I feel awful I do. I am going to make

0:38:57.080 --> 0:38:59.120
<v Speaker 1>it up. Next year. They're going to have an amazing

0:38:59.120 --> 0:39:03.680
<v Speaker 1>seventy second birthday. My mom is gonna whatever it is.

0:39:04.520 --> 0:39:06.200
<v Speaker 2>But Andy's gonna help us out here, folks, whore gonna

0:39:06.239 --> 0:39:08.120
<v Speaker 2>rat with? I know everybody is messed up a birthday

0:39:08.120 --> 0:39:10.200
<v Speaker 2>in some way, form or fashion, and there's always pressure

0:39:10.239 --> 0:39:12.200
<v Speaker 2>around birthdays, and when you get older, it seems a

0:39:12.239 --> 0:39:13.759
<v Speaker 2>little ridiculous, like what are we supposed to do? How

0:39:13.760 --> 0:39:16.400
<v Speaker 2>are we supposed to celebrate? Who are we supposed to celebrate?

0:39:16.440 --> 0:39:18.480
<v Speaker 2>So our super producer here, Andy, that you all are

0:39:18.480 --> 0:39:21.600
<v Speaker 2>familiar with, he has a list a dozen dues and

0:39:21.719 --> 0:39:27.799
<v Speaker 2>don'ts for an adult birthday celebration. If you will, Andy, hell,

0:39:28.400 --> 0:39:30.400
<v Speaker 2>let's see if we screw these up for an adult

0:39:30.520 --> 0:39:34.560
<v Speaker 2>The dues and don'ts when you're celebrating an adult birthday.

0:39:34.719 --> 0:39:38.800
<v Speaker 4>Yes, number one, do shift your birthday mindset from aging

0:39:38.960 --> 0:39:43.120
<v Speaker 4>to gratitude. Gratitude means having the privilege to age another year,

0:39:43.600 --> 0:39:47.879
<v Speaker 4>So I should feel happy that you're able to get

0:39:47.920 --> 0:39:48.440
<v Speaker 4>another year.

0:39:48.920 --> 0:39:51.080
<v Speaker 2>You know what, a lot of people. I don't like

0:39:51.120 --> 0:39:54.080
<v Speaker 2>those folks who say it's my birthday, don't give me

0:39:54.120 --> 0:39:57.080
<v Speaker 2>anything that's not celebrat Oh I hate that.

0:39:57.200 --> 0:39:59.719
<v Speaker 1>Oh I get actually angry. In fact, I think I

0:39:59.760 --> 0:40:04.520
<v Speaker 1>have made a dinner awkward. When someone complained about getting older,

0:40:04.520 --> 0:40:06.880
<v Speaker 1>I said, it's a privilege to get older. What's the

0:40:06.920 --> 0:40:10.319
<v Speaker 1>alternative if you can't celebrate that? My god? Like, just

0:40:10.440 --> 0:40:13.000
<v Speaker 1>rethink about what it means to get to your older

0:40:13.040 --> 0:40:15.840
<v Speaker 1>That is an amazing thing. You got another trip around

0:40:15.840 --> 0:40:17.600
<v Speaker 1>the sun and you have. I kind of look at

0:40:17.600 --> 0:40:20.160
<v Speaker 1>it as a reset too. You go, you reflect, and

0:40:20.200 --> 0:40:21.640
<v Speaker 1>then you say, what do I want this year? What

0:40:21.680 --> 0:40:23.520
<v Speaker 1>do I want to do better? You know that's it's

0:40:23.560 --> 0:40:26.080
<v Speaker 1>an opportunity instead of something being negative.

0:40:26.120 --> 0:40:28.399
<v Speaker 2>We reset for new years, right. Everybody wants to start

0:40:28.400 --> 0:40:31.120
<v Speaker 2>a new and all fresh. What use your birthday that?

0:40:31.600 --> 0:40:31.920
<v Speaker 1>I love it.

0:40:31.960 --> 0:40:34.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm with you. That's a definite. Don't do it. Don't

0:40:34.600 --> 0:40:36.800
<v Speaker 2>that's all gratitude do have gratitudes.

0:40:38.719 --> 0:40:42.400
<v Speaker 4>Don't is stressing over sending reciprocal birthday wishes. It's not

0:40:42.560 --> 0:40:45.160
<v Speaker 4>take a penny, give a penny, don't keep score.

0:40:45.760 --> 0:40:47.919
<v Speaker 2>Oh I like that they sent me a birthday wish.

0:40:47.960 --> 0:40:50.200
<v Speaker 2>Now I have to send them up. That's a good one.

0:40:50.280 --> 0:40:50.759
<v Speaker 1>I love that.

0:40:50.760 --> 0:40:51.239
<v Speaker 2>That's a good one.

0:40:51.560 --> 0:40:51.680
<v Speaker 1>Uh.

0:40:52.239 --> 0:40:54.960
<v Speaker 4>This next one is do see if your office lets

0:40:55.000 --> 0:40:58.560
<v Speaker 4>you opt in or out of a birthday celebration, because many,

0:40:58.920 --> 0:41:01.360
<v Speaker 4>not all, may want to celebrate you, but if you

0:41:01.360 --> 0:41:04.360
<v Speaker 4>don't want to be celebrated, make that clear with your office.

0:41:04.680 --> 0:41:07.120
<v Speaker 1>Yes, with the office cupcakes, and they make a big deal.

0:41:07.200 --> 0:41:09.960
<v Speaker 1>Some people get embarrassed by all the attention. I mean,

0:41:10.000 --> 0:41:12.239
<v Speaker 1>I personally don't love it when I get a big

0:41:12.280 --> 0:41:15.080
<v Speaker 1>sombrero put on my head and the band comes out

0:41:15.120 --> 0:41:18.239
<v Speaker 1>singing Happy Birthday. That's not something I like at all.

0:41:18.600 --> 0:41:20.880
<v Speaker 1>Do you like it when the restaurant comes with the

0:41:20.880 --> 0:41:23.120
<v Speaker 1>big song and the clapping hand you know me right,

0:41:23.400 --> 0:41:25.800
<v Speaker 1>and the firework for a candle?

0:41:25.920 --> 0:41:27.319
<v Speaker 2>How many times in my life you think I would

0:41:27.360 --> 0:41:28.320
<v Speaker 2>have allowed that to happen?

0:41:28.760 --> 0:41:29.040
<v Speaker 1>Zero?

0:41:29.200 --> 0:41:34.600
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I will stop them at the kitchen door. Don't

0:41:34.640 --> 0:41:35.200
<v Speaker 2>even come out.

0:41:36.000 --> 0:41:37.920
<v Speaker 1>I know when we went out to lunch one time,

0:41:38.440 --> 0:41:40.640
<v Speaker 1>I think it was maybe it was the day before

0:41:40.680 --> 0:41:42.840
<v Speaker 1>your birthday, and I thought, no, I'm not going to

0:41:42.920 --> 0:41:43.120
<v Speaker 1>do it.

0:41:43.160 --> 0:41:44.319
<v Speaker 2>Oh, you crossed your mind.

0:41:44.320 --> 0:41:46.719
<v Speaker 1>I laughed about how normally a lot of times I

0:41:46.760 --> 0:41:49.440
<v Speaker 1>would go to the waiter and say, hey, it's a birthday.

0:41:49.680 --> 0:41:50.680
<v Speaker 2>Did you consult with the meme?

0:41:51.200 --> 0:41:52.400
<v Speaker 1>I no, I knew you knew that.

0:41:52.719 --> 0:41:53.239
<v Speaker 2>I didn't get that.

0:41:54.000 --> 0:41:55.560
<v Speaker 1>I had a little thought pop in my head, and

0:41:55.600 --> 0:41:57.440
<v Speaker 1>I laughed, and then I thought, I actually think you'd

0:41:57.480 --> 0:42:00.640
<v Speaker 1>be mad. If I thought you would be like, you'd

0:42:00.680 --> 0:42:02.480
<v Speaker 1>laugh it off. But I thought, no, you would actually

0:42:02.480 --> 0:42:04.680
<v Speaker 1>be pissed mad. So I didn't.

0:42:04.840 --> 0:42:16.160
<v Speaker 4>All right, the next one, and I actually did this

0:42:16.200 --> 0:42:20.000
<v Speaker 4>one recently. Keep track of the birthdays for key people

0:42:20.040 --> 0:42:24.720
<v Speaker 4>in your life. Mark special days on your iPhone or calendar. Yes,

0:42:24.800 --> 0:42:27.399
<v Speaker 4>I deleted my Facebook, but before I did, I went

0:42:27.440 --> 0:42:30.239
<v Speaker 4>through the whole Facebook birthday list and made sure to

0:42:30.280 --> 0:42:32.719
<v Speaker 4>put all the people that I actually would care to

0:42:32.760 --> 0:42:35.560
<v Speaker 4>write happy birthday, to make sure to put those in

0:42:35.640 --> 0:42:36.800
<v Speaker 4>my calendar as alert.

0:42:36.920 --> 0:42:40.279
<v Speaker 1>That's amazing, And I don't know why mine did not

0:42:40.360 --> 0:42:42.360
<v Speaker 1>pop up. That's such a good point, because maybe I

0:42:42.400 --> 0:42:43.719
<v Speaker 1>don't have my mom's birthday in.

0:42:43.680 --> 0:42:46.480
<v Speaker 2>My candy didn't tell you they didn't, you would need to.

0:42:46.600 --> 0:42:48.399
<v Speaker 1>You know, I have a question. Do you know how

0:42:48.440 --> 0:42:50.440
<v Speaker 1>to take birthdays off of your calendar?

0:42:50.560 --> 0:42:51.839
<v Speaker 2>It seems like you figured it out right now.

0:42:52.680 --> 0:42:56.279
<v Speaker 1>I never put it off on. You know, when people

0:42:56.600 --> 0:42:57.920
<v Speaker 1>in and out of your life and then maybe you

0:42:57.920 --> 0:42:59.360
<v Speaker 1>don't want to have their birthday pop up?

0:42:59.400 --> 0:43:01.279
<v Speaker 2>How do you get I don't have that though. I

0:43:01.280 --> 0:43:04.080
<v Speaker 2>couldn't what people don't come in and out of my life.

0:43:04.080 --> 0:43:06.600
<v Speaker 2>They're here or they're not. No, that's no, there's no

0:43:06.640 --> 0:43:07.239
<v Speaker 2>in and out right.

0:43:07.280 --> 0:43:09.279
<v Speaker 1>But maybe at one point you wanted someone's birthday to

0:43:09.280 --> 0:43:11.640
<v Speaker 1>pop up on your calendar, and now you don't want

0:43:11.680 --> 0:43:15.600
<v Speaker 1>to see you show Okay, I actually genuinely need that direction.

0:43:15.360 --> 0:43:17.600
<v Speaker 2>And give yourself a couple on the alerts. You know,

0:43:17.719 --> 0:43:19.600
<v Speaker 2>get an alert a week ahead of time, a few

0:43:19.640 --> 0:43:22.360
<v Speaker 2>days ahead of time. That's that's perfect, that's very good.

0:43:22.719 --> 0:43:25.640
<v Speaker 4>The next one is don't ask people their age. It's

0:43:25.680 --> 0:43:28.000
<v Speaker 4>not polite. Don't do it period.

0:43:29.040 --> 0:43:32.799
<v Speaker 1>When you do that, I think after the twenty first

0:43:32.800 --> 0:43:35.520
<v Speaker 1>birthday you should not ask the age. It's fun up

0:43:35.600 --> 0:43:37.839
<v Speaker 1>until twenty one, and then no one wants to tell you.

0:43:38.280 --> 0:43:39.279
<v Speaker 1>And what do you want to know?

0:43:39.719 --> 0:43:48.160
<v Speaker 2>Damn? Okay, even to me, it was like that was strong.

0:43:49.320 --> 0:43:54.479
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry. I actually personally don't mind telling my age,

0:43:54.560 --> 0:43:55.560
<v Speaker 1>but I would.

0:43:55.800 --> 0:43:58.080
<v Speaker 2>All the time anyway. That's why though, So you don't

0:43:58.080 --> 0:44:01.919
<v Speaker 2>care if anybody asks because you've put it out there, right, so.

0:44:01.040 --> 0:44:03.560
<v Speaker 1>But I respect that someone might not want to you

0:44:03.600 --> 0:44:04.120
<v Speaker 1>were okay?

0:44:04.120 --> 0:44:08.200
<v Speaker 2>But my issues people going off about like getting mad that.

0:44:08.719 --> 0:44:12.120
<v Speaker 2>So is it inappropriate and rude? Is my thing? Is

0:44:12.120 --> 0:44:15.440
<v Speaker 2>it actually rude or just I don't know.

0:44:16.560 --> 0:44:18.920
<v Speaker 1>I think it's probably rude because I guess my question is,

0:44:18.960 --> 0:44:19.839
<v Speaker 1>why do you want to know?

0:44:20.560 --> 0:44:23.360
<v Speaker 2>It's your birthday? What are you turning? That's a natural question.

0:44:26.000 --> 0:44:28.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to a concert tonight. Who are you saying?

0:44:28.480 --> 0:44:30.120
<v Speaker 2>That's kind of a natural follow up?

0:44:30.160 --> 0:44:30.960
<v Speaker 4>That's really rude?

0:44:31.120 --> 0:44:33.880
<v Speaker 2>Heading to a restaurant? Oh, where are you headed? What

0:44:34.040 --> 0:44:34.520
<v Speaker 2>kind of food?

0:44:34.560 --> 0:44:35.880
<v Speaker 1>That's not a why do you want to know?

0:44:35.960 --> 0:44:36.920
<v Speaker 2>Go into a movie?

0:44:37.120 --> 0:44:37.719
<v Speaker 1>What are you saying?

0:44:38.480 --> 0:44:39.600
<v Speaker 2>None of your business.

0:44:41.320 --> 0:44:44.759
<v Speaker 1>Is not the same. Yeah, I think it's I think

0:44:44.760 --> 0:44:46.120
<v Speaker 1>it's mostly a female thing.

0:44:46.239 --> 0:44:48.960
<v Speaker 2>There we go there it is, so we don't.

0:44:48.800 --> 0:44:52.560
<v Speaker 1>Want anyone to view us through the lens of our age.

0:44:53.400 --> 0:44:55.840
<v Speaker 2>Andy, do you care if somebody ask you your age?

0:44:56.400 --> 0:44:56.560
<v Speaker 3>Not?

0:44:56.600 --> 0:44:57.400
<v Speaker 2>Really? Okay?

0:44:57.800 --> 0:44:58.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:44:58.200 --> 0:45:01.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but how old are you thirty three? She just asked,

0:45:03.000 --> 0:45:04.200
<v Speaker 2>You just said, don't ask people.

0:45:04.200 --> 0:45:06.600
<v Speaker 1>They I did that on purpose.

0:45:06.680 --> 0:45:09.480
<v Speaker 2>Yea, it was hilarious. What you got next, Andy? I

0:45:09.520 --> 0:45:10.960
<v Speaker 2>mean thirty three year old Andy.

0:45:11.680 --> 0:45:15.440
<v Speaker 4>The next one says, do make it clear who's paying

0:45:15.480 --> 0:45:17.600
<v Speaker 4>for the celebration. If you're going out to a bar

0:45:17.800 --> 0:45:21.000
<v Speaker 4>or throwing a birthday party, the organizer should always clearly

0:45:21.040 --> 0:45:25.160
<v Speaker 4>convey financial details before the party. Do not let it

0:45:25.239 --> 0:45:26.279
<v Speaker 4>go unsettled.

0:45:27.440 --> 0:45:31.400
<v Speaker 1>So this has always been something where I have thrown

0:45:31.520 --> 0:45:35.600
<v Speaker 1>birthday parties, like for myself and in my opinion as

0:45:35.719 --> 0:45:39.680
<v Speaker 1>a grown ass woman, if I'm going out to a

0:45:39.680 --> 0:45:42.759
<v Speaker 1>bar whatever, I'm picking up the bill. That's how I

0:45:42.800 --> 0:45:43.239
<v Speaker 1>look at it.

0:45:43.280 --> 0:45:45.319
<v Speaker 2>But if you're the organizer, if you should be.

0:45:45.239 --> 0:45:48.520
<v Speaker 1>Correct, okay, correct, But if you're going out for a dinner,

0:45:48.600 --> 0:45:50.799
<v Speaker 1>you know a lot of times everybody will say you're

0:45:51.160 --> 0:45:53.200
<v Speaker 1>you're not throwing your credit card in? We got you

0:45:53.239 --> 0:45:56.080
<v Speaker 1>at your birthday and so yeah, but I don't know.

0:45:56.120 --> 0:45:58.239
<v Speaker 1>I just feel like, for me, the one rule is

0:45:58.280 --> 0:46:01.000
<v Speaker 1>if I'm throwing the party, I'm picking up the bill.

0:46:01.480 --> 0:46:03.239
<v Speaker 2>And my one rule would be if we're all going

0:46:03.239 --> 0:46:06.000
<v Speaker 2>out to dinner, no matter who organizes the birthday boy,

0:46:06.040 --> 0:46:12.440
<v Speaker 2>the birthday girl does not pay correct fairly right, Yeah.

0:46:10.840 --> 0:46:14.200
<v Speaker 4>The next one. Don't mention gifts on an invitation. Adult

0:46:14.239 --> 0:46:17.360
<v Speaker 4>birthdays do not or should not come with the obligation

0:46:17.440 --> 0:46:19.400
<v Speaker 4>of gifts, and you need to be aware that there

0:46:19.440 --> 0:46:21.880
<v Speaker 4>is no including a wish list.

0:46:23.840 --> 0:46:26.799
<v Speaker 1>That's I yeah, I agree with that. I think like

0:46:26.960 --> 0:46:29.239
<v Speaker 1>what you're putting in a And by the way, if

0:46:29.280 --> 0:46:30.360
<v Speaker 1>you come, here's what I'd like.

0:46:30.600 --> 0:46:34.239
<v Speaker 4>No, I've seen one or two people really like adults.

0:46:34.360 --> 0:46:35.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like how old?

0:46:36.560 --> 0:46:38.200
<v Speaker 4>I mean three?

0:46:38.840 --> 0:46:41.200
<v Speaker 1>Like a link to here's what I'd like you to buy.

0:46:41.040 --> 0:46:44.359
<v Speaker 4>Me, kind of like a suggested wish list. If you're

0:46:44.360 --> 0:46:46.960
<v Speaker 4>thinking of ideas, here's what I'm thinking.

0:46:47.320 --> 0:46:47.600
<v Speaker 1>Wow.

0:46:47.880 --> 0:46:50.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and all I wanted was a frickin cake and

0:46:50.360 --> 0:46:51.000
<v Speaker 2>I didn't get that.

0:46:52.040 --> 0:46:52.600
<v Speaker 1>Got a cake.

0:46:53.800 --> 0:47:03.000
<v Speaker 2>You're oh, don't all far me? Okay, yeah, see this

0:47:03.040 --> 0:47:05.440
<v Speaker 2>is why we don't have to There is no I

0:47:05.440 --> 0:47:08.040
<v Speaker 2>don't know anybody that's like me except for her.

0:47:08.200 --> 0:47:10.560
<v Speaker 1>Oh, you guys are exactly like And I would say

0:47:10.560 --> 0:47:13.880
<v Speaker 1>Annaly's is similar to the two of you, But no,

0:47:14.000 --> 0:47:16.000
<v Speaker 1>the two of you are two peas in a pod.

0:47:16.160 --> 0:47:17.799
<v Speaker 2>And that's why I don't like her. A lot of times.

0:47:17.920 --> 0:47:20.799
<v Speaker 2>Oh I love her I can't. I can't. I'm not

0:47:20.920 --> 0:47:22.880
<v Speaker 2>used to receiving what I'm used to.

0:47:23.000 --> 0:47:26.000
<v Speaker 1>So she equips right back, that is, and I applaud it.

0:47:26.200 --> 0:47:30.200
<v Speaker 4>Okay, go into the next one, don't or sorry, do

0:47:30.640 --> 0:47:34.640
<v Speaker 4>let the birthday girl or guy design the guest list.

0:47:35.280 --> 0:47:36.600
<v Speaker 4>So let your friend.

0:47:37.200 --> 0:47:39.680
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you should have a say as to who comes

0:47:39.719 --> 0:47:41.600
<v Speaker 1>to celebrate your birthday. Correct.

0:47:41.680 --> 0:47:43.799
<v Speaker 4>Yes. I did have an issue with that with one

0:47:43.800 --> 0:47:45.960
<v Speaker 4>of my friends though, where they put us on a

0:47:46.000 --> 0:47:48.480
<v Speaker 4>group text and then left the group text. They're like,

0:47:48.520 --> 0:47:50.239
<v Speaker 4>this is who I want to invite, and then left

0:47:50.239 --> 0:47:52.160
<v Speaker 4>the group text and we're like you all planned from here?

0:47:52.520 --> 0:47:56.200
<v Speaker 4>Oh oh, which I don't know how I really felt

0:47:56.239 --> 0:47:57.840
<v Speaker 4>about it. I mean, it went fine, but it was

0:47:57.880 --> 0:47:59.680
<v Speaker 4>like kind of awkward in the moment because then everybody

0:47:59.719 --> 0:48:03.160
<v Speaker 4>was just awkwardly scrambling. You don't know half these people

0:48:03.440 --> 0:48:07.000
<v Speaker 4>who's taking lead. It's just kind of like, okay, why

0:48:07.080 --> 0:48:07.279
<v Speaker 4>is not.

0:48:07.719 --> 0:48:08.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh I was going to say, you were at one

0:48:08.960 --> 0:48:10.799
<v Speaker 1>of my birthday parties. How about when someone who you

0:48:10.840 --> 0:48:15.439
<v Speaker 1>didn't invite and actually you said please, I only want

0:48:15.480 --> 0:48:17.440
<v Speaker 1>I don't want because if you invite this one person,

0:48:17.680 --> 0:48:19.520
<v Speaker 1>then it creates a whole other group of people who

0:48:19.560 --> 0:48:22.600
<v Speaker 1>feel like they got excluded. So how about when that

0:48:22.640 --> 0:48:27.880
<v Speaker 1>person comes to your birthday party uninvited? And TJ witnessed

0:48:27.920 --> 0:48:31.600
<v Speaker 1>this time. It was my forty third birthdays and I

0:48:31.800 --> 0:48:37.279
<v Speaker 1>still get hot thinking about it, thinking about it. Who

0:48:37.440 --> 0:48:41.400
<v Speaker 1>goes to a birthday party they weren't invited to.

0:48:40.440 --> 0:48:44.040
<v Speaker 2>Please everybody, if any indication of not to do it.

0:48:44.080 --> 0:48:46.040
<v Speaker 2>This was eight years ago, and you heard her voice.

0:48:46.040 --> 0:48:49.160
<v Speaker 2>She's still hot. And I remember this other.

0:48:48.560 --> 0:48:50.759
<v Speaker 1>Group of people who I didn't and I was again

0:48:50.800 --> 0:48:54.640
<v Speaker 1>I was paying for it. Oh I if I invited her,

0:48:54.760 --> 0:48:59.120
<v Speaker 1>then they all had to come to right because she

0:48:59.280 --> 0:49:01.120
<v Speaker 1>then I knew other people were going to find out

0:49:01.120 --> 0:49:02.439
<v Speaker 1>that she was at my birthday party.

0:49:02.480 --> 0:49:05.080
<v Speaker 2>And then then they would say why wouldn't they?

0:49:05.120 --> 0:49:07.799
<v Speaker 1>And then I just thought. And then the person who

0:49:07.800 --> 0:49:09.560
<v Speaker 1>said they were bringing her, I said no, please don't,

0:49:09.680 --> 0:49:12.399
<v Speaker 1>and they came anyway. Yeah, how about that?

0:49:12.480 --> 0:49:14.840
<v Speaker 2>Okay, whoever's birthday it is should be in charge. They

0:49:14.840 --> 0:49:17.280
<v Speaker 2>should only have exactly who they want in the spot.

0:49:17.360 --> 0:49:18.520
<v Speaker 2>That's the bottom line. Okay.

0:49:18.640 --> 0:49:18.839
<v Speaker 1>Yes.

0:49:19.520 --> 0:49:22.960
<v Speaker 4>The next one is do tell people it's your birthday

0:49:23.080 --> 0:49:25.200
<v Speaker 4>if you want them to know. No one is a

0:49:25.239 --> 0:49:28.640
<v Speaker 4>mind reader. Remind people or put the big day on

0:49:28.680 --> 0:49:31.040
<v Speaker 4>your outlook calendar to subtly get the word out.

0:49:31.239 --> 0:49:32.880
<v Speaker 2>So if it's your you need to remind people is

0:49:32.960 --> 0:49:33.440
<v Speaker 2>your birthday.

0:49:33.480 --> 0:49:35.200
<v Speaker 4>They're saying that you can if you want to tell

0:49:35.239 --> 0:49:37.960
<v Speaker 4>people to feel confident if you think someone may forget

0:49:38.600 --> 0:49:41.240
<v Speaker 4>or kind of like when my mom text.

0:49:41.640 --> 0:49:44.759
<v Speaker 1>Text with the look at how nice this resort was

0:49:44.920 --> 0:49:46.600
<v Speaker 1>to me, Yeah my birthday.

0:49:46.760 --> 0:49:49.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, mama Robak, this is your fault.

0:49:49.160 --> 0:49:51.160
<v Speaker 1>No, well, actually she did what you're supposed to do.

0:49:51.520 --> 0:49:52.920
<v Speaker 1>It's it's you gently remind me.

0:49:53.160 --> 0:49:56.279
<v Speaker 2>It was like eleven o'clock at night. We need more

0:49:56.800 --> 0:50:00.520
<v Speaker 2>than that. I'm kidding. I was just out our fault.

0:50:00.560 --> 0:50:02.880
<v Speaker 2>But that's a weird one to remind people that's your birthday.

0:50:02.960 --> 0:50:05.400
<v Speaker 1>If you want people to know what's your birthday, don't

0:50:05.440 --> 0:50:08.439
<v Speaker 1>expect them to remember, I guess is the point, right? Yeah?

0:50:08.440 --> 0:50:10.440
<v Speaker 4>I think it helps with your clums not clumsy, but

0:50:10.560 --> 0:50:14.920
<v Speaker 4>maybe not as like mindful type like it's your birthday week.

0:50:14.960 --> 0:50:17.399
<v Speaker 4>It's it's just nice to like put the word out

0:50:17.440 --> 0:50:19.640
<v Speaker 4>in advance, like hey, it's my birthday this week or

0:50:19.760 --> 0:50:20.359
<v Speaker 4>what are we doing?

0:50:20.440 --> 0:50:23.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and it lets people know that it's important to you.

0:50:24.160 --> 0:50:25.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:50:26.080 --> 0:50:30.319
<v Speaker 1>I can't imagine you doing that. Yeah, it would feel

0:50:30.360 --> 0:50:32.680
<v Speaker 1>it would feel sad, be like, it's my birthday today

0:50:32.760 --> 0:50:36.200
<v Speaker 1>and I just walking up the people's saying, you guys free,

0:50:37.480 --> 0:50:38.960
<v Speaker 1>anybody want to celebrate?

0:50:39.120 --> 0:50:39.480
<v Speaker 2>I got you.

0:50:40.800 --> 0:50:42.160
<v Speaker 4>But to that same point, I think it's kind of

0:50:42.160 --> 0:50:44.520
<v Speaker 4>weird if somebody did do that but they didn't tell you,

0:50:44.560 --> 0:50:47.239
<v Speaker 4>like a day or two and before, right, it'd be

0:50:47.280 --> 0:50:49.000
<v Speaker 4>weird if all of a sudden it was like your

0:50:49.040 --> 0:50:51.800
<v Speaker 4>birthday today, and I'd be like, oh, that's okay.

0:50:51.920 --> 0:50:53.759
<v Speaker 2>You You should not have to send a text on

0:50:53.840 --> 0:50:55.440
<v Speaker 2>your own birthday. That should all be incoming.

0:50:55.640 --> 0:50:58.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, that's true. You should be reading text not

0:50:58.480 --> 0:51:02.759
<v Speaker 1>sending them all right.

0:51:02.840 --> 0:51:06.719
<v Speaker 4>The next one is don't assume how people plan to celebrate.

0:51:06.800 --> 0:51:09.480
<v Speaker 4>Not everybody wants to go crazy on their birthday, but

0:51:09.719 --> 0:51:12.040
<v Speaker 4>it's nice to check in to ask how the person

0:51:12.200 --> 0:51:14.320
<v Speaker 4>celebrating their birthday actually wants to celebrate.

0:51:14.520 --> 0:51:18.000
<v Speaker 2>That's perfect because we would probably be the opposite. You

0:51:18.000 --> 0:51:20.600
<v Speaker 2>want a whole bunch of people around and jumping and

0:51:20.680 --> 0:51:22.200
<v Speaker 2>yelling and screaming and all this.

0:51:22.280 --> 0:51:24.640
<v Speaker 1>So if it's that, it's more like music dancing.

0:51:24.800 --> 0:51:26.880
<v Speaker 2>I just said jumping and yelling and screaming, that's what

0:51:27.000 --> 0:51:27.440
<v Speaker 2>music is.

0:51:27.680 --> 0:51:29.360
<v Speaker 1>That's for white people.

0:51:29.600 --> 0:51:31.600
<v Speaker 2>I didn't say that. I say you, I don't hang

0:51:31.640 --> 0:51:32.600
<v Speaker 2>out with any of other white people.

0:51:32.680 --> 0:51:34.880
<v Speaker 1>Just not true.

0:51:35.280 --> 0:51:38.800
<v Speaker 2>Well, all the white people you bring around, I'm kidding.

0:51:40.920 --> 0:51:42.600
<v Speaker 1>There's no other way to dance to living on a

0:51:42.640 --> 0:51:43.880
<v Speaker 1>prayer other than to jump.

0:51:44.040 --> 0:51:45.240
<v Speaker 2>That's actually true.

0:51:45.480 --> 0:51:47.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's my favorite song.

0:51:57.480 --> 0:52:01.160
<v Speaker 4>The next one is do own it if you forget

0:52:01.280 --> 0:52:06.600
<v Speaker 4>someone's birthday. Yep, you can apologize, but don't sweat it, okay, And.

0:52:06.520 --> 0:52:08.680
<v Speaker 2>That's exactly what I told you. Yes, I said she's

0:52:08.719 --> 0:52:11.399
<v Speaker 2>going to be okay, that's nothing. There is no makeup there.

0:52:11.480 --> 0:52:14.200
<v Speaker 2>You can't no do good nor just let it be

0:52:14.280 --> 0:52:16.440
<v Speaker 2>what it is. I know you're upset, wait until you

0:52:16.440 --> 0:52:18.040
<v Speaker 2>talk to her, and it's going to be fine. Yeah,

0:52:18.080 --> 0:52:19.240
<v Speaker 2>that's true.

0:52:19.480 --> 0:52:23.040
<v Speaker 4>And this last one is do think about how you

0:52:23.200 --> 0:52:26.320
<v Speaker 4>want to celebrate. If you're not a party animal, skip

0:52:26.480 --> 0:52:29.480
<v Speaker 4>the huge bash, think about what you want your ideal

0:52:29.560 --> 0:52:32.080
<v Speaker 4>day to look like, and then invite some friends along.

0:52:32.560 --> 0:52:34.440
<v Speaker 2>That's it. I love that and I got that. That's

0:52:34.480 --> 0:52:36.759
<v Speaker 2>exactly exactly what I did. All I want to do

0:52:37.440 --> 0:52:39.920
<v Speaker 2>is be in the sun. I want to grill, I

0:52:39.960 --> 0:52:42.960
<v Speaker 2>want to cook. I want to have good drinks and

0:52:43.040 --> 0:52:45.080
<v Speaker 2>folks around me. I love. And that was it, but

0:52:45.200 --> 0:52:48.160
<v Speaker 2>just laid I don't like going out necessarily on my birthday.

0:52:48.360 --> 0:52:51.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, I loved. I loved the week. I loved

0:52:51.560 --> 0:52:54.839
<v Speaker 1>the time we had with everyone, and I loved how

0:52:54.880 --> 0:52:59.800
<v Speaker 1>willing and happy you were surrounded by six girls. That

0:53:00.280 --> 0:53:02.319
<v Speaker 1>is a lot for most guys. So I applaud you

0:53:02.400 --> 0:53:04.920
<v Speaker 1>for I don't want to say tolerating it, but just

0:53:05.000 --> 0:53:07.400
<v Speaker 1>you know that that is that is but that is

0:53:07.480 --> 0:53:10.759
<v Speaker 1>a lot. That is a lot of women all in

0:53:10.800 --> 0:53:13.920
<v Speaker 1>one space around you. But you were It was a

0:53:14.000 --> 0:53:16.360
<v Speaker 1>blast from start to finish. It really was. And so

0:53:18.000 --> 0:53:21.800
<v Speaker 1>I loved what you requested because it just was perfect.

0:53:21.840 --> 0:53:24.160
<v Speaker 1>It was perfect like every like the girls were even

0:53:24.160 --> 0:53:25.920
<v Speaker 1>saying last night and they were just saying how much

0:53:25.920 --> 0:53:28.200
<v Speaker 1>fun they had and how great it was, and it

0:53:28.239 --> 0:53:30.160
<v Speaker 1>was just it was beautiful.

0:53:30.520 --> 0:53:33.080
<v Speaker 2>So I thank you for it. I think it's being

0:53:33.120 --> 0:53:35.640
<v Speaker 2>that's sitting over there for and then Elise and Neva

0:53:35.760 --> 0:53:39.040
<v Speaker 2>and Montgomery and me for making a wonderful, wonderful trip.

0:53:39.120 --> 0:53:42.560
<v Speaker 2>So and it was it was another chapter and page

0:53:42.600 --> 0:53:46.480
<v Speaker 2>turner for us in this whole saga and relationship and

0:53:46.600 --> 0:53:48.600
<v Speaker 2>just family and life. It was a it was just

0:53:48.640 --> 0:53:51.120
<v Speaker 2>another marker of a moment. And so I thank you

0:53:51.160 --> 0:53:53.279
<v Speaker 2>for it. It was a great birthday. So thank you,

0:53:54.040 --> 0:53:56.200
<v Speaker 2>I love you. I love you too, baby, and thank

0:53:56.239 --> 0:54:01.759
<v Speaker 2>you Sabine. Wow, she just gave me deuces. She just

0:54:01.800 --> 0:54:02.880
<v Speaker 2>gave me deuces.

0:54:02.960 --> 0:54:07.799
<v Speaker 1>I wonder where it's an attitude though, it's a way

0:54:07.840 --> 0:54:10.080
<v Speaker 1>of living. Yeah, it's just fun.

0:54:11.040 --> 0:54:16.640
<v Speaker 2>Okay, folks, you know where to find us on our

0:54:16.640 --> 0:54:19.919
<v Speaker 2>official show page at Amy and TJ Podcast. We do

0:54:19.960 --> 0:54:22.400
<v Speaker 2>have something really special coming up. I think in a

0:54:22.440 --> 0:54:24.560
<v Speaker 2>couple of days. Our next episode is going to we

0:54:24.600 --> 0:54:26.560
<v Speaker 2>have Sabine in the room now because she's not necessarily

0:54:26.560 --> 0:54:29.080
<v Speaker 2>a guest on the show, even though she just wanted

0:54:29.080 --> 0:54:33.040
<v Speaker 2>to keep talking over there. But we have another very

0:54:33.080 --> 0:54:36.520
<v Speaker 2>special guest coming up on either tomorrow for our next

0:54:36.520 --> 0:54:38.279
<v Speaker 2>episode will feature a very special guest.

0:54:38.360 --> 0:54:41.160
<v Speaker 1>Yes that's right, and stay tuned for that. But in

0:54:41.200 --> 0:54:43.280
<v Speaker 1>the meantime, you can find us on our official Instagram

0:54:43.320 --> 0:54:45.040
<v Speaker 1>page Amy and TJ Podcast.

0:54:45.480 --> 0:54:47.000
<v Speaker 2>Just for Embasis, we wanted to say it again.

0:54:48.239 --> 0:54:49.879
<v Speaker 3>All right, I'm going to stop now, have a great

0:54:49.960 --> 0:54:59.000
<v Speaker 3>day everyone.

0:55:00.120 --> 0:55:03.040
<v Speaker 2>Do you think