Speaker 1: Welcome to this episode of Emergency Intercom. Lately, is that it?
Speaker 2: No? This is my ring tone?
Speaker 1: That is not your ring tone?
Speaker 2: Call me real quick.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I know your ring tone. Your ring tone
Speaker 1: is lit.
Speaker 2: Are you ready for this? Guy?
Speaker 1: Damn type louder bitch? Okay, you fucking hit the volume
Speaker 1: button that stops? Why is that the lowest I know?
Speaker 2: I just turned it up hell too.
Speaker 1: Maybe because you're in Spotify. It's because you have an
Speaker 1: old phone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the speakers are just really bad on.
Speaker 1: This yeah, exause anytime you just play something out loud,
Speaker 1: it's literally impossible to hear it. Well, lately, I've been
Speaker 1: sad because there's that trend on TikTok that's like she
Speaker 1: lives inside me or whatever, and it's like a video
Speaker 1: of someone when they're young. First of all, if you
Speaker 1: were seventeen, stop posted a video of you when you
Speaker 1: were like ten and being like, she lives inside me,
Speaker 1: she is still you, you are you, mabe. But it's
Speaker 1: been making me sad because this is something that always
Speaker 1: makes me so sad. But I have no videos of
Speaker 1: myself before I was like fifteen, when I was self documenting.
Speaker 1: I don't have any childhood videos. There's a lot of pictures,
Speaker 1: but I think like we were kind of right before
Speaker 1: the boom of it was so normal to have a
Speaker 1: camcorder digital camera forward.
Speaker 2: Two thousand and eight was like the year that smartphones
Speaker 2: like really became like a thing and people started using
Speaker 2: them as like cameras to document people and staff because
Speaker 2: that's when like the iPhone was announced. Was it two
Speaker 2: seven or two? And I think two thousand and eight,
Speaker 2: But I only have three videos, and one of them
Speaker 2: is my brother's beating the fuck out of me and
Speaker 2: like me in the hallway with my legs up like
Speaker 2: in me like doing like that little kick where you
Speaker 2: like kick your legs out really fast. It's like unbeatable,
Speaker 2: Like it's the ultimate defense mechanism when you're like they
Speaker 2: can't get you. And then they eventually did get me
Speaker 2: and started doing what's called like a turkey tap, where
Speaker 2: they like get their finger like this and they tap
Speaker 2: your chest a bunch over and over again, and it
Speaker 2: starts off like harmless, but then after like a minute
Speaker 2: or two, it starts becoming so painful, and then the
Speaker 2: worst part of it all. I wish I could find
Speaker 2: these videos. I know my brother has them. But the
Speaker 2: worst part is they would pin down the arms and
Speaker 2: legs and do that loogie thing where they like do
Speaker 2: like a spit thing. They video, Yeah, they got that
Speaker 2: on video. And then the other ones are my brothers
Speaker 2: forcing me and my sister Madeline to do jackass and
Speaker 2: we get there was like a forest right next to
Speaker 2: my house.
Speaker 1: Amusing you is probably so funny, and.
Speaker 2: They would put us in like little like the little
Speaker 2: carts like the red wagons or whatever, and push us
Speaker 2: down these giant hills and we would bomb these hills.
Speaker 2: And then they one time they put me inside of
Speaker 2: a trash can and rolled me down, Like do you
Speaker 2: remember my old house like that had that big hill
Speaker 2: leading up to the garage. Yeah, they put.
Speaker 1: I moved it because I was chewing on my cookie
Speaker 1: and last time when I was eating my bread, it
Speaker 1: was so much noise and I was really embarrassed. And
Speaker 1: also actually somebody had commented was like, and this bitch
Speaker 1: claims that chewing annoys her. Chewing doesn't fucking annoy me.
Speaker 1: It's in my head.
Speaker 2: It's it's always and you're like, we'll freak the fuck
Speaker 2: out if someone is chewing around her. But then she's
Speaker 2: macing on that ship just as loud.
Speaker 1: No, to be fair, at that time, I was so
Speaker 1: fucking nauseous and I was trying to eat that the
Speaker 1: fastest I've ever eaten anything. I was I would have
Speaker 1: been able to give you your fucking entertainment for the week,
Speaker 1: you motherfucking bitch. But I usually chew with my mouth closed,
Speaker 1: and it okay, I won't get it.
Speaker 2: But yeah, they pushed me down in a trash can
Speaker 2: and I rolled down that little incline and I felt
Speaker 2: like a god.
Speaker 1: Simply you felt like a god because you didn't break
Speaker 1: your neck, and in another universe you broke your neck.
Speaker 2: But yeah, so uh, with that, we'll move on to
Speaker 2: the real pressing matter.
Speaker 1: Way, I didn't talk about how sad it makes me.
Speaker 1: It makes me really sad. And then you know what's
Speaker 1: really sad is I found a tape in my dad's
Speaker 1: like drawer, and I got so excited for really sad
Speaker 1: reasons that I'm not gonna say actually, we could bleep
Speaker 1: it out, and I'm gonna say it because it's actually
Speaker 1: so sad. You have to bleep and cover my mouth
Speaker 1: or I'll cover my mouth to give you less work.
Speaker 1: But it made me so sad because I don't remember sad,
Speaker 1: just really really sad. And then basically the fucking tape
Speaker 1: had nothing on it. It was from my parents work
Speaker 1: because they do houses. They like remodel.
Speaker 2: They were logging, they were.
Speaker 1: They were doing the before and after my Van Life,
Speaker 1: gutting out the house, putting a toilet in the backseat.
Speaker 2: The real plague is van life, thank you? Yeah? One
Speaker 2: of our friends. Yeah, literally, Tina, she is fucking She
Speaker 2: made a video recently killing me like the what was it?
Speaker 1: Jesus free, Jesus freaking by choice and I was she
Speaker 1: goes unapologetically, unapologetically, and then she she's like living in
Speaker 1: r V by choice and then either she like stitched
Speaker 1: it or something in she was like it's started by choice.
Speaker 1: Now I don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no she that was so late. And there have
Speaker 2: been rumors circulating that we have beef with Tina.
Speaker 1: Which I haven't seen, but Drew said that to me,
Speaker 1: and I was like, literally.
Speaker 2: She texted me saying, oh, I guess I think now
Speaker 2: we have like beef. No, yeah, we're done.
Speaker 1: We're gonna take Tina's baby.
Speaker 2: And I was literally like, should we like fake a
Speaker 2: beef and I was like, oh, wait, you're literally a
Speaker 2: mother and you don't have time. You don't fake drama. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but we don't funk with Tina anymore. Like, yeah, it's done,
Speaker 2: it's done.
Speaker 1: Like you guys, you guys are right, you guys sent
Speaker 1: to this out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: So random to like even like start saying that. I think.
Speaker 1: I think from the Internet people believe that when people
Speaker 1: like feather off there always has to be some huge contemption.
Speaker 1: But if you guys know, we are some of the
Speaker 1: best people on the planet and we don't have beef
Speaker 1: like that like people have. Really, yeah, people are mad
Speaker 1: at me.
Speaker 2: People just get connected to our presence and expect more
Speaker 2: and more and more out of us, and I think
Speaker 2: when they get closer to us, they realize that, oh
Speaker 2: maybe I don't know how to explain it, you know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think there's a tendency that we can meet people.
Speaker 1: This is the most big headed shit ever. But really
Speaker 1: what it is is we are clowns. We know we
Speaker 1: are clowned, and we know that and people meet us,
Speaker 1: and especially within the entertainment business, people are so not
Speaker 1: accustomed to meeting people and then being so like quick
Speaker 1: at the mouth, like ready.
Speaker 2: To be crazy to them to filth, just.
Speaker 1: Like not really caring and having no social cues, and
Speaker 1: they're like, this is awesome, we should hang out, and
Speaker 1: then if they are lucky enough that we do hang out,
Speaker 1: it's super fun. But then that is our whole social
Speaker 1: battery for the next three weeks and we can't do
Speaker 1: it again. And then it comes like, wow, you didn't
Speaker 1: like hanging out with me as much as I liked
Speaker 1: hanging out with you, and it's like, no, I literally
Speaker 1: just cannot give you the energy I think you deserve.
Speaker 1: And for that reason I will be ignoring you for
Speaker 1: three weeks and then coming back and be like, sorry,
Speaker 1: I almost done.
Speaker 2: But the real matter, the real pressing matter that I
Speaker 2: finally got to the bottom of it. And it took
Speaker 2: me months and months and months and months, maybe even
Speaker 2: years to figure out, really what's wrong with me? But
Speaker 2: I found out that we've been drinking from lead cups
Speaker 2: for the last year.
Speaker 1: What's wrong with you? Something else is wrong with you
Speaker 1: because you don't drink out of cups?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I do, I do, I do.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I do this thing where it's so easy to do
Speaker 2: and I wish everyone would do it, but I understand
Speaker 2: that it's nasty. But I have one cup or one
Speaker 2: bottle that I drink out of for a week straight,
Speaker 2: and sometimes I don't wash it because it's only my
Speaker 2: lips going on.
Speaker 1: It is so nasty though, because sometimes in the daylight
Speaker 1: you can see the rim of saliva that's.
Speaker 2: Built up all No, it's my it's my chapstick.
Speaker 1: It's so nasty, and I'm just like ew, And I
Speaker 1: don't know if I should wash it or not, because
Speaker 1: I'm like, he just likes this.
Speaker 2: That's a flavor. You can't wash the flavor off. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the dried spit flavor. But yeah, we have lead poisoning.
Speaker 2: I bought lead testers because I was like, Okay, it's
Speaker 2: not black mold, it's not CO two poisoning. Also, I
Speaker 2: figured out that sleeping under wires or some ship I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 1: He heard from a friend whose parent was worried for that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I found out. I came to the conclusion and
Speaker 2: there's this is so I bought. I bought a Geiger
Speaker 2: carnch to test for EMF radiation. So I'm gonna just
Speaker 2: put it up on my bed and if it does
Speaker 2: come back that I've been sleeping under rads. My landlord
Speaker 2: is getting sued.
Speaker 1: Drew likes to do this thing where instead of recognizing
Speaker 1: that not only does he suffer from depression in ADHD,
Speaker 1: but had intense substance love in his primitive view in
Speaker 1: your primitive.
Speaker 2: Years, my formative and in.
Speaker 1: Your formative years and then moved on to your adult
Speaker 1: life to only eat literally like fucking syrups and cornflower
Speaker 1: and sunflower oil and not leave the house for weeks
Speaker 1: at a time and sit on his iPad. He uses
Speaker 1: his iPad. He uses his iPad so much that I
Speaker 1: think Apple should give him another iPad or get into
Speaker 1: his chip and find out how much screen time over
Speaker 1: the time it started up versus now and give him
Speaker 1: an award for it. And then he goes outside every
Speaker 1: now and then is like I literally he goes outside
Speaker 1: and I make sure I make sure Buddy gets a
Speaker 1: good meal in him, and he's like, I literally feel
Speaker 1: like a new human. This is so insane. I can't
Speaker 1: believe the life of it. This day.
Speaker 2: The last two weeks, I've been fighting off trying to
Speaker 2: kill myself.
Speaker 1: Booh, what's the fight for?
Speaker 2: No, I've been like battling I've been battling the strongest
Speaker 2: battle I've had in a very long time, and I
Speaker 2: just would spend hours and hours and hours a day
Speaker 2: on my iPhone. And yesterday I woke up and I
Speaker 2: was like, you know what, like I'm not getting on
Speaker 2: my phone all.
Speaker 1: I'd die the living room for the first time that like,
Speaker 1: literally I was in the living room and it was shocking.
Speaker 2: It was bad. I like, I have literally isolated for
Speaker 2: two weeks. And something about me is I make myself
Speaker 2: way too open to communication, Like if someone text me
Speaker 2: or call me, I text them or called them back immediately,
Speaker 2: which is like a really bad habit. And we shouldn't
Speaker 2: be connected in that way and we should just be
Speaker 2: able to go three weeks without talking to someone and
Speaker 2: know that the love is still there. But for some reason, society,
Speaker 2: it's it's society.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm really good at that. I do not.
Speaker 1: I wake up max to one text a day and
Speaker 1: that's like, that's literally I'm like, whoa, I woke up
Speaker 1: to a text and usually the texts O'Ryan at three am,
Speaker 1: high as fuck and the last TikTok she sent me
Speaker 1: before she fell asleep.
Speaker 2: But yeah, so I've but That's one thing about me
Speaker 2: is I responded to all my texts, but for the
Speaker 2: last two weeks, I have not been reaching out to anyone,
Speaker 2: texting anyone back, Like I have three hundred and something
Speaker 2: unread text messages, three hundred and twenty seven unread text messages,
Speaker 2: which is so unlike me. So if you've been getting
Speaker 2: that end of my stick, I'm sorry. But I've literally
Speaker 2: just been trying not to kill myself for the last
Speaker 2: two weeks. But I woke up yesterday and was like,
Speaker 2: I'm not going to use my phone today and see
Speaker 2: what happens. And I didn't open TikTok or get all
Speaker 2: my iPad on YouTube immediately, and I put a meal
Speaker 2: in me before noon.
Speaker 1: And I had took the talking thing. I came home
Speaker 1: and before two pm there was a md Chipotle bat
Speaker 1: and not an.
Speaker 2: Empty bag of Cheetos. That's another thing. But I've been
Speaker 2: actually like taking steps in my life to make it
Speaker 2: more uh more livable. Yeah, I think I've been getting
Speaker 2: off my phone as much I've been eating at normal times.
Speaker 2: I've been trying to text the people back that I
Speaker 2: have been needing to text back for weeks. What else
Speaker 2: did I do?
Speaker 1: I think about you is you are really good at
Speaker 1: keeping in contact with your family. You talk to your
Speaker 1: family more than anyone I know, and it makes me
Speaker 1: really jealous. But I just don't want to do that
Speaker 1: because I don't talk to anybody.
Speaker 2: When I'm talking to my family, it's it means that
Speaker 2: I'm really low. Like when I call my mom a bunch,
Speaker 2: it's because I'm really sad.
Speaker 1: But you, I feel like, no matter you're I try
Speaker 1: to talk to me, your your feelings. You talk to
Speaker 1: them a lot, but specifically Madeline. You and Madeline talk like.
Speaker 2: We've got really close recently, especially the baby, literally the
Speaker 2: babies in the house. But no, all that aside is
Speaker 2: just taking care of the baby. So I have lead
Speaker 2: poisoning is when I came to the conclusion because I
Speaker 2: bought lead tester strips and I tested all the mugs
Speaker 2: and two of them had a disgusting amount of lead.
Speaker 2: Like those bitches lit up bright purple after I tested them.
Speaker 2: So we're getting rid of those. They're still sitting on
Speaker 2: our countertop because I don't know, I.
Speaker 1: Have an emotional connection to on. I'll show y'all when
Speaker 1: I show it to them. They're gonna literally some of
Speaker 1: them will know the cup because I genuinely used it
Speaker 1: almost every day for a year.
Speaker 2: But we've been sipping out of lead cups.
Speaker 1: I am the one who probably has but that also
Speaker 1: that goes through my point. Bitch, nothing can kill me,
Speaker 1: like I am literally built different than you bitches, because
Speaker 1: I'm gonna kill you cup for literally no, I would
Speaker 1: kill myself if I started forgetting shit.
Speaker 2: Bitch, what you don't. That's the scariest part is you
Speaker 2: don't even realize if when.
Speaker 1: I was two. Okay, actually, I'll write I'll have everybody
Speaker 1: in my life sign a thing that once I start
Speaker 1: suffering from Alzheimer's, I have to be put down.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I like me when there's probably.
Speaker 1: People me, I'm like, there's probably someone loosening.
Speaker 2: Literally my grandma. She's a lovely woman. No, I think
Speaker 2: she has dementia, but she just got out of rehab,
Speaker 2: which is lit.
Speaker 3: It's this cup. What's really sad. I'm yelling so that
Speaker 3: the mic pick it up. What's really sad is this
Speaker 3: cup didn't have fucking lead. And I was so excited
Speaker 3: because this is one of my favorite cups. I got
Speaker 3: it in Japan. I love it so fucking much.
Speaker 2: And then it was thirty five dollars.
Speaker 1: It's it's really expensive because it's like a hand drawn,
Speaker 1: like really nice. It's a movement mug or a little cup.
Speaker 1: And I was so excited because I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, this was the one that I thought had
Speaker 1: lead poisoning in it. And I only got to use
Speaker 1: a few times because I was like, all right, let
Speaker 1: me not push my luck because this is gonna kill me. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: I was literally when I was sick, I drank like
Speaker 1: eight million teas out of this and that was like
Speaker 1: in the past, like three weeks.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But then I broke this on the fucking sank.
Speaker 2: And she had another one of those little baby cups
Speaker 2: that I was like, oh, that's a lead and she
Speaker 2: was like, no, it's not, and uh she oh, it's
Speaker 2: literally right over there. And she was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: just gonna put I'm not gonna drink out of it.
Speaker 2: Then I'm gonna put my toothbrush in it. And I
Speaker 2: was like, no, don't use anything that you suspect has
Speaker 2: led in it. Tested that one and it was leaded
Speaker 2: the fuck out too, But yeah, I just wait for
Speaker 2: the emf RADS detector video to drop, because it's gonna
Speaker 2: come soon, probably in next week's episode.
Speaker 1: I'm just so shocked that this one has lead paint
Speaker 1: on it. I love this one. Oh wait, what's the
Speaker 1: issue with it is? Isn't it bad? Babe? Touching it
Speaker 1: now isn't gonna kill me? I already had it so much.
Speaker 2: Ten thousand times more than the legal limit is in
Speaker 2: that cup.
Speaker 1: That's so sad. I used this cup so much, Like
Speaker 1: I wonder if somebody went on the like through all
Speaker 1: the podcast episodes to see how many times just on
Speaker 1: the podcast. Yeah, I used this cup. This cup was dirty,
Speaker 1: because what's the issue, Like, you definitely have lead poisoning
Speaker 1: because I would wash this and then wash all the
Speaker 1: other dishes with it. So everything we have is coded
Speaker 1: in it. But this cup gave me beautiful memories and
Speaker 1: good times, and I really don't I don't want to
Speaker 1: throw it away, like still nineteen seventy five, like.
Speaker 2: Ice spice cup. I didn't realize you had an ice
Speaker 2: spice cup.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this one was predicting her birth. Yeah, they made
Speaker 1: it when one of her parents was born, because they
Speaker 1: were like, you will give birth to a queen.
Speaker 2: Speaking of ice spice, I love her. Speaking of ice Spice,
Speaker 2: I don't think you know. Oh it's a relic now,
Speaker 2: that's nice. But yeah, speaking of Ice Spice, the selfie kid.
Speaker 2: Do you remember the selfie kid that took the selfie
Speaker 2: at the Super Bowl with Justin Timberlake. Yeah, he was
Speaker 2: arrested on I think felony charges inside of a California
Speaker 2: Piacha pizza kitchen kitchen for fighting and beating kid people up.
Speaker 1: Wait, what does that have to do with ice Spice.
Speaker 2: Nothing. I just wanted it to transition. But yeah, he
Speaker 2: was arrested and his mugshots are out there. The selfie kid,
Speaker 2: I actually don't think ever really happened.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you're saying it, I don't know who that is.
Speaker 1: And when you said the selfie kid, I thought you
Speaker 1: were talking about like that selfie Ellen took that was
Speaker 1: the most like selfie on the planet for a while.
Speaker 2: It was basically the same vibe. This kid, Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: That I have seen him. Well, he's like ten years old.
Speaker 1: Who was he beating up?
Speaker 2: I don't know he's no, he's old now. I think
Speaker 2: he's nineteen or twenty now. But yeah, and if you
Speaker 2: don't know the selfie kid, I'm sure everyone does, because
Speaker 2: it's impossible not to know. He took pictures with Justin
Speaker 2: Timberlake at the Super Bowl. Became like a viral sensation,
Speaker 2: like the Ellen degenerous, the Ellen degenerate effect took over,
Speaker 2: and she had him on a show kind of like
Speaker 2: the Van's Guys, Damn Daniel. But yeah the hell had
Speaker 2: selfie see or oh my god.
Speaker 1: Self seed selfie should have been on Ellen selfie. She
Speaker 1: should have got her time on Ellen.
Speaker 2: Ran this fucking world.
Speaker 1: Going on Ellen is like facing a prison sentence.
Speaker 2: Or doctor Phil. I feel like would have been a
Speaker 2: good fit for like being bullied, like yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: but yeah he beat people up in the kitchen California
Speaker 2: Pizza Kitchen and in Pomona.
Speaker 1: California Pizza Chicken in California Kitchen Chicken or whatever the
Speaker 1: fuck it is. Both of those places, I fucking hate
Speaker 1: something about them. They give me the worst fucking vibe.
Speaker 1: I just can't stand a restaurant location that I know
Speaker 1: is giving me frozen meals and heating it up and
Speaker 1: just playing it off that it's not yeah, playing it
Speaker 1: off like it's fresh. That's not fresh.
Speaker 2: The mac and cheese from Panera is frozen, and I
Speaker 2: would I would shove that up my pussy right now.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't make only fans.
Speaker 1: I want to know if the mac and cheese from
Speaker 1: Chick fil A is frozen, because I got some last
Speaker 1: night and it was the best. That sh it's busting busting.
Speaker 2: That ship was bust and busting.
Speaker 1: Well, how do you do that with your boys? What
Speaker 1: are you doing with yours?
Speaker 2: And you're like eating that word, Yeah it tastes good.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was fucking delicious. What did we do yesterday?
Speaker 1: Like I've literally I haven't been My days have been
Speaker 1: going by rapidly. But all I know is that I
Speaker 1: haven't been playing Fortnite as much and I need to
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: I started Last of Us and it's really fun, but
Speaker 1: that game is so fucking long, like damn, like damn,
Speaker 1: but it is like scary for some reason. He I know.
Speaker 1: I keep trying to get drud to watch me play
Speaker 1: and he's like refusing, and I'm like, you said you
Speaker 1: wanted to come and watch me play Last Nus. I
Speaker 1: have six hours of work in that game and I'm
Speaker 1: not kidding. I haven't even caught it up to like
Speaker 1: where the show is like I'm like three episodes behind.
Speaker 1: I haven't even met Frank and Bill yet in the game.
Speaker 1: That's how far behind I am. I'm literally so far behind,
Speaker 1: but it just takes me so long.
Speaker 5: Yeah, did you see that they're gonna let you have
Speaker 5: sex and Fortnite? Now?
Speaker 1: Are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: It's like DLC, we need to play?
Speaker 2: We should we just turn this off?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm playing. I might switch right behind me.
Speaker 2: She just started up and it was playing before this,
Speaker 2: and she started a game and started getting mad at
Speaker 2: us for like something that didn't even happen.
Speaker 1: Right, No, no, no, I was like joining the game. I
Speaker 1: just jumped out the bus and I was like, let
Speaker 1: me turn this off because I know when y'all tell
Speaker 1: me to put it away to start the fucking episode,
Speaker 1: it's gonna piss me off because I'm gonna be deep
Speaker 1: in a game. Oh my god, me and Josie. Okay,
Speaker 1: listen to this. I had I got a victory royale,
Speaker 1: and then I chopped on with Josie. I got a
Speaker 1: victory royale solo twelve kills, then hopped on with Josie
Speaker 1: another twelve kill game, then another game, seven kill game.
Speaker 2: Then you brought me on and I had a nineteen
Speaker 2: kill game.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that game I only had eleven kills because
Speaker 1: Drew is a fucking monster to play with because he
Speaker 1: runs away from everybody to go get kills. And it's like,
Speaker 1: we're supposed to be in this together.
Speaker 2: Because what's the point of the game, like if I'm.
Speaker 1: Way as a team as a team, but yeah, I
Speaker 1: just wanted to let y'all know that I am still
Speaker 1: out here getting vic royals. I'm not flopping, I'm still
Speaker 1: on my VR shit.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well, this is the craziest shit ever that I
Speaker 2: think suspect might have been the beginning of my spiral.
Speaker 1: I've let on my pants.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but have you ever really truly thought about germs
Speaker 2: and virus?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Yes, there's like an entire like micro universe of bugs,
Speaker 2: of billions and trillions and quadrillions whatever the fucking number is,
Speaker 2: of just little critters that we can't see, that are
Speaker 2: constantly at fucking war, just killing each other, and like,
Speaker 2: I don't know it just it was blowing my mind
Speaker 2: because I was like, oh, they're just like literally on
Speaker 2: my skin right now, and I can't see them unless
Speaker 2: I had a microscope and then on top of that,
Speaker 2: have you ever thought about a white blood cell? No,
Speaker 2: white blood cells are like the most rider die fucking
Speaker 2: cell ever made.
Speaker 1: Like some people call me a white blood cell because
Speaker 1: I'm just like that, like the feel you're.
Speaker 2: So right or I and I'm going to save your life.
Speaker 2: And the other thing that was freaking me out was
Speaker 2: that white blood cells still like can't live outside of
Speaker 2: your body. Like it's compared to like how we can't
Speaker 2: breathe underwater. They can't live outside your body. Doesn't make
Speaker 2: sense to me because they heal your wounds outside your body. Whatever.
Speaker 2: The craziest thing is that if you take a white
Speaker 2: blood cell out and like you have an infection in
Speaker 2: your blood and you put it on like a slide
Speaker 2: on the slide, it is still programmed to attack and
Speaker 2: kill like the infection for fifteen minutes. It is too
Speaker 2: like it's already sentenced to death and it's still fighting
Speaker 2: for your body. It just it's breaking.
Speaker 1: It's someone like that in my life.
Speaker 2: No, I can't survive fifteen minutes without you, and I'd
Speaker 2: kill for you. I have killed for you.
Speaker 1: No you haven't. Oh.
Speaker 2: The central part, Yeah, that's why I'm so good is
Speaker 2: because I do things for you that you don't even
Speaker 2: realize I did.
Speaker 1: Oh well, I don't though that I ever wanted you
Speaker 1: to kill someone from me, So like, if that falls
Speaker 1: on you, oh you know what I thought about the
Speaker 1: other day. Also, yes, I have thought about the fucking
Speaker 1: germs because when I get out of the shower. Also,
Speaker 1: this is another thing I haven't said. One of my
Speaker 1: like little my rules of my life. Like this is
Speaker 1: one of my is when she's.
Speaker 2: Washing her ash in the shower, it's the most disgusting
Speaker 2: thing ever. She gets shit under her fingernails and instead
Speaker 2: of washing it off in the shower, she wipes it
Speaker 2: on the shower curtain. She's like, let me get the
Speaker 2: shit off, and she does that.
Speaker 1: It's distrusted, dude, No, Like, why would I do that?
Speaker 2: It's nasty.
Speaker 1: But one of my rules is that after I get
Speaker 1: out of the shower, I cannot sit on the toilet.
Speaker 1: So and it like sounds like it doesn't make sense,
Speaker 1: but let me. But here's the thing is, if like
Speaker 1: two hours or like an hour goes by, Okay, it
Speaker 1: all depends. If I take a shower and I'm about
Speaker 1: to hang out with you guys in the living room,
Speaker 1: I can get on the toilet, but not immediately. I
Speaker 1: would have to put my clothes on and then go
Speaker 1: chill and then be like Okay, yeah, now I really
Speaker 1: have the pee, but I'm all dried up and I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be up for a few hours so i can
Speaker 1: go pee. But the thing is, if I get out
Speaker 1: of the shower and I'm about to like right after
Speaker 1: the shower, I'm gonna go lay down and I need
Speaker 1: to pee, I need to pop a squat like I'm
Speaker 1: in a public That.
Speaker 2: Is my rapper name, Papa squat, Papa squat. That's lit.
Speaker 2: Josh has a really good one. It's Papa pill.
Speaker 1: Papa pill is good.
Speaker 2: P O P p A.
Speaker 1: I feel like it should just be p A p
Speaker 1: A pill because like Papa pill, like pop a pill
Speaker 1: Like that's.
Speaker 2: Like no, It's like it's like I'm daddy. Also, that's
Speaker 2: another thing.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm saying it should be p A P
Speaker 1: A pill instead of p O P P A because
Speaker 1: who calls their papa?
Speaker 2: Do?
Speaker 1: People call them? But do they not spell it p A.
Speaker 2: P A People do, but people spell it both ways.
Speaker 2: I just think it looks phonetically. It flows better when
Speaker 2: it Poppa.
Speaker 1: Well, I think it's better when it's Pa pa Pi.
Speaker 2: Well, this is fuck? What was I going to say,
Speaker 2: God Grammer? Oh the fact that I'm like literally daddy
Speaker 2: as fucked, like I'm sexy hot, like no one's talking
Speaker 2: about that.
Speaker 5: You were talking about it, how.
Speaker 2: You've laughed at me.
Speaker 1: But I'm all porous. My pores are open, and if
Speaker 1: I sit on the toilet, all the pores will get
Speaker 1: into me, and then when I get in my bed,
Speaker 1: all the germs will be one in. All the fucking
Speaker 1: germs will get into my pores, and then when I
Speaker 1: get in bed, I'll just be covered in germs and
Speaker 1: get it on my bed. So I have to pop
Speaker 1: a squat.
Speaker 2: That's a very debilitating lifestyle. But I understand the logic.
Speaker 2: The logic is there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then but then sometimes I think I've said
Speaker 1: this sometimes, like if I've washed my hands, like the
Speaker 1: the calculated like four or five times that I have
Speaker 1: to after using the back room. But then sometimes before
Speaker 1: I go to bed, I'm so convinced that I'm gonna
Speaker 1: piss myself. So I'm like trying to force myself to
Speaker 1: pee because I'm like I can't get up again. I like,
Speaker 1: can't do this. I need to get my pee out,
Speaker 1: and sometimes like a little more people come out and
Speaker 1: then I'm like okay, and I'll wipe my.
Speaker 2: Also, why don't you ever flush the toilet when you
Speaker 2: pee in the middle of it?
Speaker 1: Well, because I don't want it to make a loud sound,
Speaker 1: Like I get like worried that it'll like wake someone up.
Speaker 1: But I think I do that because in my and
Speaker 1: house I grew up in, the bathroom was right between
Speaker 1: both rooms, and it would wake people.
Speaker 2: I assumed it was just so you didn't wake us up.
Speaker 1: Also, sometimes that's like when I literally am having my
Speaker 1: issue where I'm like, oh, I have to p to
Speaker 1: p have to pee, and I keep like fake peeing,
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, I don't want to flush the
Speaker 1: toilet like eight times. That's so wasteful, and I'm like
Speaker 1: it's literally like two drops and a fucking wish of
Speaker 1: a paper towel, so like I'm not gonna flush it.
Speaker 1: But that's why I don't do that.
Speaker 2: But then because that shit is potent, like when I
Speaker 2: like I smell it and taste.
Speaker 1: It, smell wakes you up.
Speaker 2: Sometimes when I get my fucking two fresh in there
Speaker 2: to brush my teeth like it.
Speaker 1: Honestly, wait, you know in the water in the sink, no,
Speaker 1: into the.
Speaker 2: You like your toilet water, like your pea water. It
Speaker 2: just it gets your teeth like extra clean.
Speaker 1: I guess thats ver. Yeah, Well, sometimes next time I
Speaker 1: have BV, I could just give you some of that,
Speaker 1: because I'm sure it's very acidic bacteria. I use my
Speaker 1: BV discharge to whiteen my teeth because it's so acidic.
Speaker 1: So I'll put some on a tinfoil and I thire
Speaker 1: out my teeth in it. And then it does suck
Speaker 1: when it gets on your tongue, but you just got
Speaker 1: to do a good job of like sitting still. And
Speaker 1: sometimes it can be splotchy because some of those chunks
Speaker 1: are a little more condensed with acidity than others. I
Speaker 1: have good news. I've been beating.
Speaker 2: Vaginas are fucking nasty. Wow, vaginas are fucking scary.
Speaker 1: That's not shocking coming from you.
Speaker 5: I think they're beautiful. Oh, I'm just saying, I haven't
Speaker 5: haven't said anything.
Speaker 1: If a guy tells you that he's really good at head, girl.
Speaker 2: Just fucking you're looking at kai and that thought coming
Speaker 2: in your head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was Kai saying vaginas are beautiful. I feel
Speaker 1: like men who are like, oh fuckka gorgeous.
Speaker 2: Kai's bit for the first fucking six months that we
Speaker 2: knew him was that he was really good at giving head.
Speaker 2: He was like the O G munch like that was
Speaker 2: his vibe.
Speaker 1: Patrick the other day was talking to Josh and I
Speaker 1: don't think I did I say this already. I don't
Speaker 1: think he's ever heard the term munch because he likes
Speaker 1: in a different planet. Yeah, and he was like, oh,
Speaker 1: like I just love a girl who munches. I like
Speaker 1: a girl who munches. And then he's like, I'm always unching.
Speaker 1: I'm always munching. I am always munching. Oh yeah, do
Speaker 1: fish my my peace stories. I think that's it, Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's oh. But sometimes after the third time I've tried
Speaker 1: to pee, I'm like, I can't wash my hands again
Speaker 1: because now I'm stripping the oils from my hands. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get old lady hands because I keep washing my
Speaker 1: hands and I already put lotion back on my hands,
Speaker 1: so I'll not use I'll not wash my hands, but
Speaker 1: before I wipe I use the most insane amount of
Speaker 1: toilet paper because I'm like, I have to do everything
Speaker 1: to make sure I don't get baccy on my hand.
Speaker 2: Crazy. It is like, I'm surprised it's not clogged every
Speaker 2: time I walk into the bathroom after it, and you
Speaker 2: used it because it is literally like you know, when
Speaker 2: you would like or I never did this, but when
Speaker 2: you would cover toilet paper and water in the bathroom
Speaker 2: and explode, it's about much you do you do. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna catch you, and I'm gonna do use a lot.
Speaker 1: Of toilet paper. But I think most girls could vouch it.
Speaker 1: That's your reaction to me mentioned Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: thought you were like I thought you were on the
Speaker 1: side of woman like.
Speaker 2: I thought you were like, no, not when it comes
Speaker 2: to fucking periods. Bro is the smell shit? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Did anybody else grow up with their parents telling them
Speaker 1: they can't have eggs on their period because it'll make.
Speaker 2: This thirty six thousand times I.
Speaker 1: Think about having my period, I think about it, and
Speaker 1: I just don't think it's real. And you know what,
Speaker 1: I asked this question eight million times. I've never looked
Speaker 1: at the comments to see any answer.
Speaker 2: Well, well, you left me at home for two weeks.
Speaker 2: You left me at home and it was really scary.
Speaker 2: No one of the nights I was home alone again.
Speaker 2: It was after I heard the people under near neath us,
Speaker 2: like celebrating a birthday, but I thought literally aliens had
Speaker 2: come to destroy the world. I was home alone. It
Speaker 2: was like eleven thirty, and I was getting ready to
Speaker 2: bed because I've been going to bed like literally two
Speaker 2: nights ago. I went to bed.
Speaker 1: We're getting ready to bed, Yeah, to.
Speaker 2: Like have sex with my bed, to bed my bed.
Speaker 2: But I what the the fucks? I was saying, Oh,
Speaker 2: I've been going to bed at like ten, I've been
Speaker 2: going to bed at like, what.
Speaker 1: Is the fuck?
Speaker 2: I was like, I've been going to bed at like
Speaker 2: ten two?
Speaker 5: I have blown backwards.
Speaker 1: Who's this worset?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 2: But I like our neighbors.
Speaker 1: We're good, We're good, we're just acting.
Speaker 2: It's all.
Speaker 1: Actually I have jobs, they're not.
Speaker 2: But I've been going to bed at ten every night.
Speaker 2: I've said that fifteen fucking times now and waking up
Speaker 2: at five thirty six am. And that night I was like, well,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna sayup a little bit later. I'm gonna see
Speaker 2: if I can like do it. So I was up
Speaker 2: at eleven thirty watching Vinlin, which is an amazing anime,
Speaker 2: one of the best animes I've seen in a very
Speaker 2: long time. The fighting is so sick and the storyline
Speaker 2: is amazing, and it's kind of like Game of Thrones
Speaker 2: but anime.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 2: But besides that, I was laying in bed and I
Speaker 2: started hearing sounds by the front door, and I was like, Oh,
Speaker 2: that's just a zool. And then I heard more sounds
Speaker 2: by the front door, and I looked above me, and
Speaker 2: Azul was above me, and I was like, huh, that
Speaker 2: was a zool, I hope. And so another like couple
Speaker 2: minutes passed and I hear more sounds by the front door,
Speaker 2: and this time it sounded like someone was trying to
Speaker 2: like actually come into the house, but I was probably
Speaker 2: just like fucking hallucinating, And so I ran into the kitchen,
Speaker 2: grabbed a knife, and locked myself in the bathroom with
Speaker 2: my iPad for probably thirty five minutes, freaking the fuck
Speaker 2: out that someone was in the house. And when I
Speaker 2: was went to the front door to see if it
Speaker 2: was open, I saw it was latched, and one of
Speaker 2: the sounds I heard when I went back when I
Speaker 2: was coming to grab the knife, it was unlatched, and
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, someone literally just came
Speaker 2: into the fucking house. And when I was standing in
Speaker 2: that doorway, I literally had like a fucking PTSD flashback
Speaker 2: of like someone standing in your room in the living
Speaker 2: room being destroyed. So I avoided the living room and
Speaker 2: your bedroom because I was like, if someone's in here,
Speaker 2: like I'm gonna lock myself into the bathroom, They're not
Speaker 2: getting through that door, and I have my iPad. But
Speaker 2: then I realized that I had just logged out of
Speaker 2: my iPad, so I couldn't call anybody off my iPad.
Speaker 2: So I grabbed so I had to leave the bathroom
Speaker 2: and I ran to I sprinted to the bathroom or
Speaker 2: to my bedroom with a knife, grabbed my iPhone and
Speaker 2: sprinted back and went back into the bathroom.
Speaker 1: You were sprinting, you literally fell into your knife and die.
Speaker 2: That's what I was hoping would happen because I was
Speaker 2: so fucking scared. But yeah, I was like literally crying.
Speaker 2: I was so fucking scared, Like I I thought about
Speaker 2: like locking myself in my closet, but then I was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm being too extra right now. But I was literally
Speaker 2: panicking and then I was like, Okay, you're a grown
Speaker 2: ass man. You're fine. You have a knife, you can
Speaker 2: protect yourself. So I went to my bedroom and I
Speaker 2: was like, fuck, I don't have a lock on my room,
Speaker 2: like they're gonna come in. So I purposely left the
Speaker 2: light on in the hallway and laid in bed for
Speaker 2: literally an hour and a half, watching the sliver under
Speaker 2: my door to see when footsteps would come so I
Speaker 2: could like get into action. And I unlatched my balcony
Speaker 2: door so I could just swing it open really quick,
Speaker 2: just in case I needed to escape. And I laid
Speaker 2: in that bed for an hour and a half looking
Speaker 2: for those footsteps, waiting for them to come, And the
Speaker 2: entire time I was imagining like what it would feel
Speaker 2: like to be stabbed, and like what it would feel
Speaker 2: like to be stabbed to death, and how awful of
Speaker 2: a way that is to die, And I just like
Speaker 2: kept replaying it in my head. And I replayed it
Speaker 2: in my head so many times that I like, know
Speaker 2: what it feels like to be stabbed now, and I
Speaker 2: always have it, like I feel like I know what
Speaker 2: it feels like to be shot, Like I know what
Speaker 2: it feels like to be stabbed. I feel like it
Speaker 2: wouldn't die in a car crash whatever, because I've experienced
Speaker 2: those in past lives, or I've experienced them in dreams,
Speaker 2: which is like another reality that we visit when we're asleep.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I freaked the fuck out and I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my God, like, I'm going to be stabbed to
Speaker 2: death and that's a terrible way to die. So then
Speaker 2: I watched a bunch of videos on stabbings to prepare myself,
Speaker 2: and then I did a bunch of research on Reddit
Speaker 2: about what it feels like.
Speaker 1: When he said that what he was telling me this,
Speaker 1: I was like, dude, being stabbed death sounds fucking awful.
Speaker 1: And then you were like, yeah, but actually yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, after the first stab, your body goes into like
Speaker 2: fight or flight mode, and you have a bunch of
Speaker 2: adrenaline built up, so like you're basically in shock, So
Speaker 2: you don't feel after the first stab what it feels
Speaker 2: like to be stabbed one hundred and four more times,
Speaker 2: which I assume would happened to me because people love
Speaker 2: me so viciously that it would be a crime of
Speaker 2: passion rather than a random GE's.
Speaker 1: Scary that most times when someone gets killed if someone
Speaker 1: they knew. That's insane.
Speaker 2: I wonder what that statistic is. I'm gonna look that up.
Speaker 1: I think I know who would kill us.
Speaker 2: I have a feeling I didn't finish the selfiekid story,
Speaker 2: or did I? So, yeah, you said he got arrested. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: who would kill you?
Speaker 1: Somebody who's very jealous and scary in my life, but
Speaker 1: we still let him in the house every week.
Speaker 2: Fuck that person you see in the room with us
Speaker 2: right now? Who is.
Speaker 1: You know what I've just thought about is dummy singing
Speaker 1: to the ghost.
Speaker 2: We were like, we need to save this for Patreon,
Speaker 2: like we're gonna do that on Patriot and then it
Speaker 2: became like a big fucking damn mind. So we were
Speaker 2: just like, whatever, We'll let y'all.
Speaker 1: Have has everybody else started talking about it because we're
Speaker 1: fucking trendsetters. But the video of Debbie Lovado on the
Speaker 1: Ghost series show when they're all convinced that there's a
Speaker 1: girl ghosts in the room and that the girl ghost
Speaker 1: only likes other women because she doesn't trust women because
Speaker 1: she has trauma with men, and Demi Levado proceeds to
Speaker 1: sing Acappella Skyscraper or one of those songs to the
Speaker 1: ghost and then the machine beeps and she's like.
Speaker 2: She loved it, she loved it, loved it.
Speaker 1: Doesn't she give her an encore?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah? More more?
Speaker 1: Can I have some more? Please?
Speaker 2: Some more?
Speaker 1: Please?
Speaker 5: Can I have some more?
Speaker 2: Walkam only?
Speaker 1: Please?
Speaker 2: More? Some more? Please?
Speaker 1: What is it exactly?
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't remember. That's your magnam opis.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was my top. My top time in my
Speaker 1: life was going viral on TikTok as a tioktok sound.
Speaker 1: Can I wait? I don't remember what it is?
Speaker 6: More?
Speaker 2: Please?
Speaker 1: Can I have some more? Please? Oh, don't be shy,
Speaker 1: put some more.
Speaker 2: Don't be shy to put some more. Put some more please? Dude.
Speaker 1: What's funny is that's literally because I just walked out
Speaker 1: of a poky place that immediately made fun of this
Speaker 1: woman who was in front of me. In Miami. There's
Speaker 1: this poke place that the people who work there are
Speaker 1: usually like teenagers, and this older woman was talking to
Speaker 1: them like they were fucking idiots, and she was like, no,
Speaker 1: don't be Chai Kwon and like was literally like going
Speaker 1: like this to them over the glass, like come, yeah,
Speaker 1: come that one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was.
Speaker 1: I just watched her and didn't say anything because I
Speaker 1: couldn't believe she was alive. I love this.
Speaker 2: That's such a good sound. Yeah. But yeah, forty six
Speaker 2: percent of violent crimes are committed by someone you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Kai, Well that's what I'm saying. It's gonna be
Speaker 1: kause if something happens to us, it is Kai. That's
Speaker 1: the Oh, that was what I forgot.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm not going to kill myself. It was Kai.
Speaker 2: It was me.
Speaker 1: If I die, it wasn't me. It was Kai. But
Speaker 1: the thing I was going to say is I was
Speaker 1: getting into the hypothetical the other day with some friends
Speaker 1: and it was about it was It was about what
Speaker 1: it is.
Speaker 2: Are you cheated? That's all we need to know. So
Speaker 2: I know you lost hypothetical because he poked holes in it.
Speaker 1: No, I did. But the hypothetical was if o'riyan killed
Speaker 1: a partner, would I snitch? And I was like no,
Speaker 1: but here would be the game plan. And I told
Speaker 1: her this yesterdays. She thought it was really funny. So
Speaker 1: the thing is, I Oriyan comes to me, but she's smart,
Speaker 1: because she's a smart cookie girl, and she comes to
Speaker 1: me in person, and she's like, Enya, I killed my partner.
Speaker 1: We got into a fight, escalated, I felt scared and
Speaker 1: I killed them. And I would be like, Okay, here's
Speaker 1: what we're gonna do. We would get together, buy round
Speaker 1: trip tickets to Europe and we would go on a
Speaker 1: two week or realistically maybe not Europe. Because she brought
Speaker 1: this up to me and I was like, that's a
Speaker 1: really good point, because you can't, like you can't go
Speaker 1: on a crazy trip and have too much fun because
Speaker 1: then when it gets oh. Also a part of the hypotheticals,
Speaker 1: I would he per pay for the best lawyers ever,
Speaker 1: Like I would do everything in my power to make
Speaker 1: sure my girl is not going to do But we
Speaker 1: can't go on too fun of a trip because then
Speaker 1: the police are gonna be like bitch, like self defense.
Speaker 1: You literally went to fucking Portugal with your home girl,
Speaker 1: like right after, like that doesn't look good. So but
Speaker 1: what I would do the original hypothetical is I said
Speaker 1: I would take up two days. We would have two
Speaker 1: days where we have the best time ever. Act like
Speaker 1: she didn't tell me, she promises that when it comes
Speaker 1: down to it, she will be like no. I went
Speaker 1: around and like was hanging out with any but I
Speaker 1: didn't tell her. I was too scared to tell her
Speaker 1: because I knew she would snitch on me, and I
Speaker 1: would snitch on her with her consent, like two three
Speaker 1: days later after we had the best three days of
Speaker 1: our life, because then I'm Scotch free, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: she did it out of self defense. She told me
Speaker 1: blah bla blah, like blah blah, and then she now
Speaker 1: has like an alibi that she didn't just claim self
Speaker 1: defense in court. She told her friend like, no, that's
Speaker 1: what happened, and yeah, that was my story. Is that
Speaker 1: I wouldn't tell immediately. I would have fun with her
Speaker 1: and then tell.
Speaker 2: If I were to kill someone, I would commit the crime,
Speaker 2: make sure there's no cameras.
Speaker 1: I would make sure there's no cameras, and I would
Speaker 1: do it in the nighttime where there's no light, no
Speaker 1: one can see my face.
Speaker 2: No if I had to, though, there's there's like there's
Speaker 2: a lot of like good things you can do, but
Speaker 2: the main one that I would do is I would
Speaker 2: bury their body next to the Big Rock in Central Park,
Speaker 2: if that were me, if I were to do that.
Speaker 1: The thing is, this isn't the first time you said that,
Speaker 1: and like, oh my.
Speaker 2: God, imagine there are bodies like literally imagine.
Speaker 5: That, dude. This episode I'm like thinking about like ten
Speaker 5: years from now us it'll be.
Speaker 1: Like even No Brook was like if I kill someone,
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, no park next to the Big Rock.
Speaker 2: And I spent a month in New York.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I didn't see you for a lot of
Speaker 1: those days.
Speaker 2: When I actually like scared now, No, I wasn't around Drew.
Speaker 1: Drew would have days where he's like, oh, I need
Speaker 1: to do a solo day. Oh, like kind of in
Speaker 1: like Japan. In his vlogs, he was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 1: all alone, I'm I'm having a solo day. And he
Speaker 1: would and then he would come back really tired and
Speaker 1: covered in dirt. But I was like, oh, he's just playing.
Speaker 2: But he was going to park, sliding down the mountains.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, you weren't digging around in the park.
Speaker 2: No. But I'm really genuinely thinking about this, like I
Speaker 2: am suspect number fucking one now.
Speaker 5: M yeah, I'm probably number two.
Speaker 2: So I say the Big Rock like there is a
Speaker 2: single Big Rock in.
Speaker 1: One, there's a bunch, there's a bunch of like those really.
Speaker 5: One hundred huge rocks.
Speaker 1: And if I was no, I need like, where did
Speaker 1: they get those? Why weren't there?
Speaker 2: I think no rocks are like man or no rocks
Speaker 2: are earth made, like they're all placed there. Every rock
Speaker 2: placed on Earth looks too perfectly to be there, Like,
Speaker 2: even if you say they were there for thousands and
Speaker 2: thousands of years, I don't believe it. You can't convince
Speaker 2: me it's all the same.
Speaker 1: You think we're making rocks.
Speaker 2: Now, Yeah, we tricked rocks into doing math. And that's
Speaker 2: a computer, that's true. That's a computer. That's a mic,
Speaker 2: that's a bluetooth.
Speaker 1: Also, I decided that whatever battery they put in our
Speaker 1: garage clicker, they need to put in my vibrator because
Speaker 1: we've had that shit for five years and I've hit
Speaker 1: that button probably the same amount of times I've hit
Speaker 1: my vibrator in the past two weeks, and that shit
Speaker 1: is still going.
Speaker 2: How many times do you use your vibrator?
Speaker 1: We don't need to talk about that.
Speaker 2: And use the garage on average three point seven times
Speaker 2: a day.
Speaker 1: Damn that is a lot. But so I guess maybe
Speaker 1: I use that more.
Speaker 2: Than that, the vibrator more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, for sure, like if I'm like, oh, if
Speaker 1: any time we're about to run out, it's sorry, it's
Speaker 1: for cutting off.
Speaker 2: But I was gonna say it's fucked up to that,
Speaker 2: like you don't let me watch.
Speaker 1: Well because you used to watch and then you would
Speaker 1: start crying and it would make me really uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I said, vaginas are scary and your vactoria
Speaker 2: naginosis was spraying all over me.
Speaker 1: Well that's the thing, is like why do you want
Speaker 1: to watch?
Speaker 2: It's like babes. It was globular and you know is
Speaker 2: like have you all ever played Silent Hill?
Speaker 1: You know when the monsters like spray the like the
Speaker 1: like gunk at people. That's what my square is, Like.
Speaker 2: Mine is like the acid that comes out of aliens. Now, yeah, xenomorph.
Speaker 1: We watched the crazy movie on the planet. Oh my god, Okay,
Speaker 1: are you in Troy?
Speaker 2: And then I want to talk about like where we are?
Speaker 2: I'll let you talk about it because I was like
Speaker 2: so enamored by it that like I really didn't even
Speaker 2: pay attention. Ok So I just I'll just start.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I found this movie called Another Gay Movie, which I
Speaker 2: have heard of before, but it's basically like parody movie
Speaker 2: era two thousand and probably six or some shit, I
Speaker 2: don't know when the original was made, like American Pie
Speaker 2: or not another teen movie something like that, like the
Speaker 2: same vein or like scary movie, just like parody take
Speaker 2: it away.
Speaker 1: So Drew tells us about this movie, and our friend
Speaker 1: is like, oh, I saw that, like when it came out,
Speaker 1: because me and my friends were like, Oh, that's funny.
Speaker 1: We want to watch that. That sounds like a funny
Speaker 1: movie because it was in that era of parody movies.
Speaker 1: And he said that it was just like so much sex,
Speaker 1: like it was like just full of sex, and that
Speaker 1: him and his friends were just like, oh, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're just like watching porn right now. And me and
Speaker 1: Drew were like, okay, we need to watch that, Like
Speaker 1: we need to watch that sounds like the funniest fucking
Speaker 1: thing ever, like a funny movie that for no reason
Speaker 1: they want to have sex in eight million times. Sign
Speaker 1: me up, I'm gonna watch it. And so we order
Speaker 1: our dinner are dinned in. We sit down and we.
Speaker 2: Ordered chick fil A to kind of balance.
Speaker 1: Out the vibe, balance off the atmosphere. So you were
Speaker 1: so nasty.
Speaker 2: You were so nasty, I need them, I bitch.
Speaker 1: If you like jelly beans, something's fucking wrong with you.
Speaker 1: Jelly Beans are like the bottom of the barrel candy,
Speaker 1: and this motherfucker a tart.
Speaker 2: They're sweet tart jelly beans. Try one, because you don't
Speaker 2: give me like a red one or something. I think
Speaker 2: it's the I think orange is the best. I'm not joking.
Speaker 1: Or blue.
Speaker 2: Blue is nasty, Blue is nasty. Oh pink, No, oh
Speaker 2: my god, you're gonna eat five more when the camera turned.
Speaker 1: Bof No, jelly beans are just so like, why would
Speaker 1: I want to eat like chewed up gum? Those?
Speaker 2: You're fucking delicious.
Speaker 1: There's no way our bodies can digest this. There's no
Speaker 1: way because I couldn't even chew it all the way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, biotics says though.
Speaker 1: So we also Drew started taking a probiotic with his
Speaker 1: diet the other day. Hands, so he's probably gonna pass
Speaker 1: away in three days.
Speaker 2: Well, no, it's breaking it down better. The red forty.
Speaker 1: Oh I saw that red forty is a carcinogen, So you'll.
Speaker 2: Have alzheimer cancer cancer from the radiation and the red forty.
Speaker 1: You're just making sure your odds are like and I.
Speaker 2: Do think at one point we had black mold because
Speaker 2: look at any of the vents in our house.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they did like let out, like fucking the vent
Speaker 1: in my room has like lines near it. That's really bad. No,
Speaker 1: that's because we didn't realize that we had to change
Speaker 1: the filter. And we lived here for three years and
Speaker 1: never changed the filter, and then finally got to it.
Speaker 2: And it literally it was this thing like so the
Speaker 2: filter was this big, like a quarter of an inch,
Speaker 2: and the pile of dead skin, fur, dust, nasty particles
Speaker 2: was like four inches.
Speaker 1: It was inside like we filled the garbage bag with it.
Speaker 1: Like it was really bad. You were like twenty five
Speaker 1: years old.
Speaker 2: I did that not even have a bit like that
Speaker 2: was real?
Speaker 5: You blacked out. You are the guy running out of
Speaker 5: the fucking guy turning five.
Speaker 2: I'm not. I'm I had a moment yesterday where we'll
Speaker 2: get back to the gay movie after this. But I
Speaker 2: was on the way to the gym and I was
Speaker 2: like doing something on my phone and I was finally
Speaker 2: like what I'm laughing at.
Speaker 4: Like your reactions to the movie, Like you you see
Speaker 4: sex on the screen, You're like, okay.
Speaker 6: Literally okay, no matter who's having sex, Like when we
Speaker 6: were randomly like putting bourn onto me, Bunny, you were like,
Speaker 6: oh okay, oh yeah, okay, And I'm like, why you
Speaker 6: get such a visceral reaction out of Drew if there's
Speaker 6: like actual sex happening on a screen.
Speaker 2: He absolutely not, absolutely not. But I was on the
Speaker 2: way to the gym and I had to do something
Speaker 2: on my phone that I've been like putting off for
Speaker 2: a while, and I just didn't want to do it,
Speaker 2: and so my brain, without even thinking about it, I
Speaker 2: was like, I literally audibly was likeugh, and I like
Speaker 2: slid up on it and then open TikTok and started scrolling,
Speaker 2: and for the first time in my life, I caught
Speaker 2: myself subconsciously like getting a dopamine hit to avoid like
Speaker 2: doing something gnarly, and I was freaking out. I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I just did it, and then I
Speaker 2: did it again right after it, and it's like completely
Speaker 2: just like it happens without even fucking no.
Speaker 1: It's literally just like caveman monkey brain, h like that
Speaker 1: thing made me feel.
Speaker 2: Good, I'm gonna do it so addicting it so bad,
Speaker 2: And that's what happened with those jelly beans. So it's
Speaker 2: like those made me feel good. I'm gonna eat more.
Speaker 1: That's like me with my wingba. I'm like that, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna do that again, even if it's
Speaker 1: dying and I have to press the button eight million times.
Speaker 1: So we were like, let's watch this movie and eat
Speaker 1: and we're looking I'm looking it up and I'm like, dude,
Speaker 1: you literally can't stream this movie, like it's like nowhere
Speaker 1: to be found unless you sign up for another streaming
Speaker 1: service on top of an Amazon streaming service. And I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not gonna do that because I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna remember to cancel it, because that's exactly what happened
Speaker 1: with Apple TV. And I haven't seen a single Apple
Speaker 1: TV series, but I pay for fucking Apple TV because
Speaker 1: I just forgot to do it. And every time I
Speaker 1: think to do it, I do exactly what Drew just described.
Speaker 1: And I opened my phone to go look for it,
Speaker 1: and I just opened TikTok and Instagram and like, look
Speaker 1: at people. So we like we josh, just families. Amazon
Speaker 1: is on our TV, and the second one was on there.
Speaker 2: I think it might be Oh is it? I think so?
Speaker 1: But whoever Amazon was on it. We know it is
Speaker 1: Josh's parents, it is, yeah, because I think we did
Speaker 1: it on his mom.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we bought like a gay sex movie on Josh's
Speaker 2: but to.
Speaker 1: Be fair, I feed Josh very often, so even Stevens.
Speaker 1: So we rented it for four dollars. And as I
Speaker 1: was renting it, for some reason, I thought it was
Speaker 1: the first movie, and then we saw it, we were like, fuck,
Speaker 1: it's the seque, and I was like, well, I already
Speaker 1: bought it on someone else's dollars, so we have to
Speaker 1: just watch it. It was the most insane movie I've
Speaker 1: ever seen. Like me and Drew were, for the most
Speaker 1: part silent the whole time.
Speaker 2: We were enamored by it. Like the only thing that
Speaker 2: would come out of our mouth was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: Like what the fuck is happening? Like those are the
Speaker 2: ad libs the entire time. By the end of it,
Speaker 2: I tapped out for that.
Speaker 1: There was like fifteen minutes left and I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm gonna take an ass.
Speaker 2: By the end of the press, I was convinced that
Speaker 2: like it was genius. Like I was like, oh, this
Speaker 2: is like actually like a really really entertaining and awesome.
Speaker 1: Not even by the end you like forty five minutes in. Also,
Speaker 1: it was the longest movie ever. It was like almost
Speaker 1: a two hour, like thirty Like they made the time
Speaker 1: of that movie so that they could possibly nominate it
Speaker 1: for awards. Like That's what I'm convinced is that they
Speaker 1: were like, this time, we're gonna.
Speaker 2: Get something else, We're gonna win. Oh did you say
Speaker 2: we bought the sequel?
Speaker 1: Yeah, we were watching the fucking sequel. So we were like,
Speaker 1: is there things that we're missing here, like that we
Speaker 1: would only know from the first movie, which I don't think.
Speaker 1: Some of the jokes were really fucking funny, but like
Speaker 1: I'm like, some of the jokes are really fucking funny,
Speaker 1: but it would be like when someone turned around and
Speaker 1: had shit on their ass.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Literally, it was so crude.
Speaker 1: It was it was. It was definitely the most crude
Speaker 1: movie I've seen in my whole life.
Speaker 2: Like it's like our podcast like personified into like a film,
Speaker 2: like it so nasty us making poop jokes, and that's
Speaker 2: exactly what they did.
Speaker 1: I think our life hard wieners in it, and it
Speaker 1: was that was too much, just like completely at.
Speaker 2: Like the most unexpected parts of the movie as well, too,
Speaker 2: and you're just like, oh my god, Like.
Speaker 5: I made seven hundred and forty five thousand dollars in
Speaker 5: the box office. That's actually kind of the The budget
Speaker 5: was half a million, so they made.
Speaker 2: It, damn and ru Paul was like a huge producer
Speaker 2: on it and she was in at a bunch.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But yeah, it was honestly amazing and I loved it.
Speaker 2: But don't watch it if if you were under twenty one,
Speaker 2: under twenty one, like it's really really gnarly. It's essentially
Speaker 2: gay porn, like at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: But it was really fucking insane and it was a
Speaker 1: fun watch. I wish I watched it really high, yeah,
Speaker 1: because that would make me crack up.
Speaker 2: It was genuinely awesome. And also like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: that man never mine. I was just gonna say, like,
Speaker 2: it's cool that like that was made back then because
Speaker 2: it was like in the peak of like antigay rhetoric
Speaker 2: going around. Yeah, like the fact that they were able
Speaker 2: to get that funded created and put out was a
Speaker 2: feat in it and of itself. But like not to
Speaker 2: like analyze a movie that is literally all sex, but like, no, that.
Speaker 1: Really is because when we were watching it I was like,
Speaker 1: isn't it crazy that this When this movie was out,
Speaker 1: gay marriage was literally still not legal. And they were
Speaker 1: just like, fuck it, I'm literally gonna make the crude,
Speaker 1: funny ass movie that also has a bunch of sex
Speaker 1: in it. I think that's the most sex I've seen
Speaker 1: in a movie.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, like, but it was fucking funny if it Drew
Speaker 1: Drew made this comment. I was like, that's a stretch,
Speaker 1: but he was like, if this was a forty five
Speaker 1: minute movie, it would be the most awesome movie ever.
Speaker 1: But I do agree. If it was forty five minutes long,
Speaker 1: it would literally be fucking perfect. And just like that
Speaker 1: was a funny short, like random thing, but it was
Speaker 1: so long. I did like, if you do watch it,
Speaker 1: I did like the Bad Luck guys. Yeah, arc that
Speaker 1: was like a fun tidbit.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, No, There's so many little moments in it
Speaker 2: that I'm like, oh, that was awesome, and I loved it.
Speaker 2: I genuinely liked it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was fun. They get to film but Naked
Speaker 1: Nasty on the beach in Miami, though they were like
Speaker 1: in Fort Lauderdale.
Speaker 2: I wonder if maybe they said they were in Fort
Speaker 2: Lauderdale and film somewhere else, because like literally everywhere film's
Speaker 2: in fucking like Croatia, but they're set in Atlanta.
Speaker 1: It just looked like Miami to me. Tell me, tell me,
Speaker 1: Oh no, they were in Miami because they were shooting
Speaker 1: in at Venetian Pool. But if you're from Miami, you know,
Speaker 1: if you know, you know. I'm not from Miami, and
Speaker 1: I know because you're well traveled, babe.
Speaker 2: I've seen the world. I've seen the world. I've been
Speaker 2: super the last two weeks. I've been really badly wanting
Speaker 2: to just go on like a two day vacation, like somewhere,
Speaker 2: and I really heavily considered getting a flight and leaving
Speaker 2: the next day and staying there for twenty four hours
Speaker 2: and then coming home. I'm not telling you where I'm going.
Speaker 2: Let's just say that.
Speaker 1: Well, with that being said, Yourew's gonna run away and
Speaker 1: do my music. I'm gonna play Fortnite while he's gone.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna make music, Okay. So for my songs, we
Speaker 2: got Bamboo Banga by M I A. Let's make us
Speaker 2: Staining by M C mac driving on nine the Breeders,
Speaker 2: and then I'll give you one more in a silent way,
Speaker 2: Miles Davis, I think this is twelve minutes long. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's twenty minutes long, nineteen fifty one. Also, uh, I
Speaker 2: don't know if I've ever said this artist on the podcast,
Speaker 2: but the musician Himera h I m e r A
Speaker 2: one of my favorite like musicians, like not of all time,
Speaker 2: but like I really like their music and I play
Speaker 2: it all the time. It's just so peaceful and pretty.
Speaker 2: But yeah, check out Himera h I m e r A.
Speaker 2: I was paid fifty eight thousand dollars to say that.
Speaker 1: By the way, there's no way yep, well mine is.
Speaker 1: I think I already said the song. But we are
Speaker 1: finally having springtime, which is so fucking awesome. Spring is
Speaker 1: Coming with a Strawberry in its Mouth by Roger Doyle
Speaker 1: Doyley is really good. Kitto by lad by Ivy Queen.
Speaker 1: You would love the.
Speaker 2: Song, d I was just about to ask you to ooh,
Speaker 2: Ivy Queen, iv Y Queen, Yeah, Ivy, what is that?
Speaker 2: Let's dance? What it's let's dance kyoto or.
Speaker 1: I want to dance?
Speaker 2: I want to dance.
Speaker 1: Oh.
Speaker 2: Also this Xavier Wolf song that samples oh fuck, what
Speaker 2: is it? Sample hollow be they squad. I think it's
Speaker 2: samples number three by Aphex Twin. That's number three, right.
Speaker 2: But I had like a Xavier Wolf like Suicide Boys
Speaker 2: arc for two years in high school and bones and
Speaker 2: like all of them when they were like uploading to
Speaker 2: SoundCloud and shit. Uh. And I kind of just fell
Speaker 2: out of love with it naturally because I listened to
Speaker 2: it every day for two years straight revisiting and it's lit.
Speaker 1: Remember when you got so mad that I played music
Speaker 1: all the time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. It was a rough patch in our relationship.
Speaker 1: Those Eyes That Mouth and Love's Easy Tears by Cocktail Twins.
Speaker 1: I say Cocktail Twins eight different times every time I.
Speaker 2: Say it, Like, yeah, I say Cocktail Twins, Cockatoo Twins
Speaker 2: say different every time. Which one was that.
Speaker 1: Those Eyes that Mouth and Love's Easy Tears you've heard
Speaker 1: me plays on This is like done, d.
Speaker 2: Uh Easy Tears.
Speaker 1: This one is those Eyes that Mouth and then loves
Speaker 1: like ownership Loves Easy Tears. I Won't Hurt You The
Speaker 1: West Coast Pop Art Experiments and nineteen ninety one Isalea Banks.
Speaker 1: That song really reminds me of the beginning of Quarantine,
Speaker 1: when we were so bored and that was the best
Speaker 1: time in my life, honestly.
Speaker 2: And then oh, is actually does Azalea sample Crystal Castles
Speaker 2: in that song?
Speaker 1: I actually don't know, but maybe I don't think so,
Speaker 1: but maybe.
Speaker 2: I'm curious because there's a nineteen ninety one by Crystal
Speaker 2: Castles in a nineteen ninety one by Azalea Banks.
Speaker 1: Oh. I don't know, though they sound pretty, but maybe.
Speaker 1: And then Dessert Song by Tacaco Minikawa. That's the girl
Speaker 1: who did Fantastic Cat. That album is really good, but
Speaker 1: Dessert Song is so.
Speaker 2: Good I'll never forget. I lay claim to Fantastic Cat.
Speaker 2: Fantastic Cat, I lay claim to it, and I showed
Speaker 2: it to someone and then they claimed that they showed
Speaker 2: me that song. And that's the one fucking thing that
Speaker 2: I don't fuck with is when I show someone a
Speaker 2: song and they say they showed me a song like.
Speaker 2: I don't know why that boils my blood so much.
Speaker 2: I guess it's like my individual's complex or like superiority
Speaker 2: complex or some shit, but no, and I will take
Speaker 2: that to my grave. I will die on that hill.
Speaker 2: You know who I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: I think so that song. I just I like that song.
Speaker 1: But I don't like that as much as the other
Speaker 1: songs have on that album, But that's a really good song.
Speaker 1: Dessert song is so sweet I put it. Did you
Speaker 1: see my story with the monkey key?
Speaker 3: With us?
Speaker 1: Look, I'll show I'm gonna show it to you. Sorry,
Speaker 1: this is so boring and like uninteresting for literally everybody else, probably.
Speaker 2: Because we got big that is what is that that
Speaker 2: make try so?
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's a tumor.
Speaker 2: It's the fat deposit, this sleeper build, oh vasa And
Speaker 2: I think that's it.
Speaker 1: And then I'm really behind the last of us because
Speaker 1: I've been watching The Sopranos and I say Sopranos every
Speaker 1: different every time, and I was a wit in a
Speaker 1: room full of people who were saying it like Sopranos,
Speaker 1: and I say Sopranos, and I'm gonna keep saying Sopranos.
Speaker 2: I've been watching VINLND Saga. I finished season two of
Speaker 2: Demons Layer. Started off, I didn't like the vibe of it.
Speaker 2: By the end, I was like, Oh, they just set
Speaker 2: this show up for a fucking slam dunk, and they
Speaker 2: better go with the idea that I had for like
Speaker 2: the seasons, but I doubt they do. And then I
Speaker 2: started watching Vinlin Saga, and I got, uh, that's why
Speaker 2: I stayed up so late last night was because I
Speaker 2: was watching it like you were been in sleep, yeah,
Speaker 2: as I was watching it. But Vinlin Saga is fucking epic.
Speaker 2: It's like everything you'd ever want in an anime. Like
Speaker 2: it's so fucking silly.
Speaker 1: I just for some reason, I like post like twenty
Speaker 1: twenty one, I just have not even thought about watching anime.
Speaker 1: I think. I just like in twenty twenty one, I
Speaker 1: started watching Breaking Bawn and then I was like, dude,
Speaker 1: I have to catch up on all these So that's
Speaker 1: been my vibe because I'm like, if I'm going to
Speaker 1: start a show, I feel like I have to watch
Speaker 1: all the human shows.
Speaker 2: Human shows. Also, every time I look at my phone,
Speaker 2: I'm not like scrolling through socials. I'm not like super addicted.
Speaker 2: I take notes for the week leading up to the podcast.
Speaker 1: And if he thinks of something, he dropped it back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I jotted it down, and yeah, I just
Speaker 2: got I got really insecure about that. Like the last
Speaker 2: like five episodes of people thinking that I'm just like
Speaker 2: ignoring everything you say, but no, I'm just looking at
Speaker 2: the topics that I have written down so we can
Speaker 2: move on from that conversation.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're a fucking bitch. I'm not gonna be here
Speaker 1: next week.
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank god, let's give up.
Speaker 1: Goodbye. Kiss.
Speaker 2: Remember when we fake kissed and I smelled like doritas.
Speaker 1: Yes, it was so fucking nasty, that video of me
Speaker 1: and Drew like on the wall, like fake kissing. He
Speaker 1: had just eaten Doritos and smelled so nasty, And yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it, all right,