WEBVTT - Outsourcing the Human Experience with Zachary Quinto

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<v Speaker 1>Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you.

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<v Speaker 2>I feeling fresh as a daisy, I mean, and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>in a really really positive space.

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<v Speaker 1>I had a positive mood.

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<v Speaker 2>I've been reading like a little chapter from Letting Go

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<v Speaker 2>every morning just to make sure I had my head

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<v Speaker 2>on straight, along with my meditation and my gratitude.

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<v Speaker 1>And I mean that takes a long time.

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<v Speaker 2>Actually, every morning I have to like get ready, like

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<v Speaker 2>and it takes like an hour, but it's worth it

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<v Speaker 2>because it puts my head on straight. I had a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of crazy little things this weekend, and I just

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<v Speaker 2>chose not to let any of them deter me and

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<v Speaker 2>stay positive and vibrant and high. And I was there

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<v Speaker 2>was a man sitting next to me on a plane

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<v Speaker 2>and could have gone either way. It really could have

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<v Speaker 2>gone south, and I made sure that it did not

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<v Speaker 2>good And luckily I had a huge set of headphones

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<v Speaker 2>on me.

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<v Speaker 1>Excellent, just tune everybody out, and just tune everybody out

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<v Speaker 1>and just keep the vibes high.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, and then people were recommending me to read this

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<v Speaker 2>other book, Power Versus Force, which is really about physics

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<v Speaker 2>and quantum physics and which is really like I've never

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<v Speaker 2>read anything like that, and I'm into it because, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it kind of explains your energy field and why there

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<v Speaker 2>is energy coming off of everything, and like its relation

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<v Speaker 2>to kinesiology, you know how like if you're around something

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<v Speaker 2>that's not good for you, like say artificial sweeteners or something,

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<v Speaker 2>and they press your arm down on what, like, your

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<v Speaker 2>arm will have less strength than it. And I once

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<v Speaker 2>went to this spa in Salzburg, Switzerland, or maybe it

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<v Speaker 2>was ober Salzburg, I don't know, I don't know, somewhere

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<v Speaker 2>where Hitler came from. And I and they did a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of kinesiology testing there. They figure out what you're

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<v Speaker 2>allergic to, so they put like dander on your leg

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<v Speaker 2>and then then you do a strength test and if

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<v Speaker 2>you are strong, you're not allergic to dander, if you're

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<v Speaker 2>weak when it's on there, And it's pretty fascinating when

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<v Speaker 2>you see that because you like shows your allergies right away.

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<v Speaker 2>But all that stuff is like so hard to measure,

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<v Speaker 2>so like it's scientific. Yet people are a little bit

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<v Speaker 2>resistant to that philosophy because they don't see it as

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<v Speaker 2>easily measured. But anyway, I also had a Celsius this morning,

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<v Speaker 2>so they are out of my little energy packets from Keani.

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<v Speaker 2>They had me made these little natural guarana energy packets

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<v Speaker 2>because I don't drink coffee, so I would take those

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<v Speaker 2>every morning when i'd wake up, and they discontinued them. No,

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<v Speaker 2>so I had a Celsius on my way to Ben

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<v Speaker 2>Bruno this morning. No, you're really rocking, So now I'm

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<v Speaker 2>fucking out of my tree. Yeah, Indianapolis, Saint Louis, and

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<v Speaker 2>Kansas City this weekend. And if you haven't gotten your

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<v Speaker 2>tickets yet, I don't even even know what to say

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<v Speaker 2>to you.

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<v Speaker 1>All right, should we introduce the guest? Yes, I'm so

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<v Speaker 1>excited to talk to him. I haven't seen him in years,

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<v Speaker 1>but I've seen him on TV. Now, please welcome Zachary Quinto.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, Kutie, how are you?

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<v Speaker 1>I was so you know what, I was so excited.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't really care when people actually come to my

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<v Speaker 2>house or not for podcast purposes, as long as I

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<v Speaker 2>don't really have to go far.

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<v Speaker 1>But I was kind of looking.

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<v Speaker 2>Forward to giving you a big hug with your masculine

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<v Speaker 2>with your big, hot, masculine body.

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't seen you in so long.

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<v Speaker 3>A long time. I was thinking today as well, how

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<v Speaker 3>much I was looking forward to connecting with you. It's

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<v Speaker 3>nice to see you again.

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<v Speaker 2>You know what I did something so embarrassing, but of

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<v Speaker 2>course I know. I can tell you. I was at

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<v Speaker 2>this restaurant in Santa Mona and I saw Zachary Levi

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<v Speaker 2>and I was talking to him like it was you

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<v Speaker 2>until halfway through the real conversation he said, are you

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<v Speaker 2>seeing anyone now? And I don't remember what he said,

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<v Speaker 2>but he intimated somehow. He was, you know, seeing a

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<v Speaker 2>woman and I was like a woman.

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<v Speaker 1>He said, what are you?

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<v Speaker 2>What are you talking about? He said, what are you

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<v Speaker 2>talking about? And then I was like, this is not

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<v Speaker 2>who I think it is.

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<v Speaker 4>Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>So it's like I have the condition that you have

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<v Speaker 2>on your show. Mind yeah, r pro subpagno show. That

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<v Speaker 2>sounds like a word I want to add to my

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<v Speaker 2>reports one.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a real well, it's a good out in situations

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<v Speaker 3>like that. I'm so sorry, exactly like I suffered from

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<v Speaker 3>pressy pagnosia. I thought you were someone else. That is

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<v Speaker 3>a good a good way to exit the awkward situation

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<v Speaker 3>if you have to.

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<v Speaker 1>And what is it called? What is the layman term

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<v Speaker 1>for that?

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<v Speaker 3>Face blindness?

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<v Speaker 2>Face blindness which your character on your show brilliant minds,

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<v Speaker 2>which is fucking awesome. By the way, I just watched

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<v Speaker 2>three episodes. Wow, you had me working out for three

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<v Speaker 2>hours this morning.

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<v Speaker 3>Because I was like, he looks so amazing. I'll take

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<v Speaker 3>all the.

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<v Speaker 1>Credit and that I'll play the next one.

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<v Speaker 2>But that's a great show on Peacock that I didn't

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<v Speaker 2>know about and now I know about, and we need

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<v Speaker 2>to tell everybody that doesn't know about it how great

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<v Speaker 2>it is.

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<v Speaker 1>Because first of all, I love a procedural, don't you too.

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely I love.

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<v Speaker 2>And I love the premise, and I love a doctor

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<v Speaker 2>for good, taking chances, taking risks for the good of

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<v Speaker 2>everybody's because there's obviously a very metaphysical aspect to this pow.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well, you know the it's based on a real

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<v Speaker 3>life person. I think that's always a good place to

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<v Speaker 3>start when we're talking about brilliant minds. It's based on

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<v Speaker 3>Oliver Sacks. Actually, this is right at my desk. I

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<v Speaker 3>didn't plant that, but he has a book coming out,

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<v Speaker 3>edited by Kate Edgar, who heads the Oliver Sacks Foundation.

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<v Speaker 3>Oliver Sax was a prolific author as well as a

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<v Speaker 3>revolutionary neurologist in the mid twentieth century, and he wrote

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<v Speaker 3>dozens and dozens of books case studies about his patients

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<v Speaker 3>and the man in Musuki's way, his for a hat,

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<v Speaker 3>most notably Awakenings, many many music Ophelia, Anthropologists to Mars,

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<v Speaker 3>and tons of books that hero. He also wrote many

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<v Speaker 3>essays and gave many lectures and speeches. He was an

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<v Speaker 3>incredible man and he was driven by the pursuit of

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<v Speaker 3>understanding who his patients were before they were stricken with

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<v Speaker 3>whatever neurologic condition, disease, disorder, or injury befell them. And

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<v Speaker 3>he was always that was always his north star. The

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<v Speaker 3>engine of his purpose was to find their dignity and

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<v Speaker 3>their sense of personhood within whatever they were struggling with.

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<v Speaker 3>And it set him apart in a lot of ways,

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<v Speaker 3>and he really revolutionized the field of medicine and also

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<v Speaker 3>the field of literature. Right because medicine has become so diagnostic,

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<v Speaker 3>and technology and the advancements of technology for allowed medicine

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<v Speaker 3>to become so diagnostic, we lost the humanity of medicine.

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<v Speaker 3>And Oliver Sacks was somebody who was pretty singularly interested

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<v Speaker 3>in resurrecting the humanity of medicine. And so our show,

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<v Speaker 3>while I don't play all Over Sacks. I play a

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<v Speaker 3>character who is based on him. In every aspect of

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<v Speaker 3>the character that I play is drawn from the actual

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<v Speaker 3>life of all Over Sacks, but the character that I

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<v Speaker 3>play exists in a modern day's story, in a world

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<v Speaker 3>that's taking place right now.

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<v Speaker 2>Getting this role must have really added to your own

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<v Speaker 2>kind of I want to say spirituality, but perhaps there's

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<v Speaker 2>a better word for it, consciousness. Consciousness, Yes, thank you,

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<v Speaker 2>there you go. Consciousness has it, Yes.

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<v Speaker 3>One hundred percent. It's really kind of been amazing for

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<v Speaker 3>me to zoom out and see how all of my

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<v Speaker 3>experiences have brought me to this place. Just the idea of, like,

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<v Speaker 3>where are our journeys take us right? And that at

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<v Speaker 3>this moment, particular moment that I'm playing this role in

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<v Speaker 3>this show and putting this message out into the world,

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<v Speaker 3>there are no mistakes, I find, and I do feel

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<v Speaker 3>like it is a an evolution of where I've been.

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<v Speaker 3>And I think Oliver Sacks and my intersection with him.

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<v Speaker 3>I sadly never got to meet him while he was

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<v Speaker 3>still alive, but my intersection with him in this creative

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<v Speaker 3>way and in this profoundly meaningful way to me is

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<v Speaker 3>something very special and so Oliver Sacks was somebody who

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<v Speaker 3>was really designed to examine the last frontier of the

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<v Speaker 3>human experience, which is the brain, the mind, and consciousness.

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<v Speaker 3>And I know, Chelsea, you know we share this quest

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<v Speaker 3>in our own journeys in individual ways, like you and

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<v Speaker 3>I are both. I think one of the reasons why

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<v Speaker 3>I've always been so drawn to you is, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>we're very similar age and and we I think you're

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<v Speaker 3>just as you're You're curious in a similar way to me.

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<v Speaker 3>And what I've watched of you and read of you

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<v Speaker 3>and know of you, you know you and I kind

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<v Speaker 3>of will never stop digging. And all of our Sacks

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<v Speaker 3>was like that, right, So the excavation, the process of

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<v Speaker 3>excavation of who we are as human beings is something

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<v Speaker 3>that drove him and motivated him. And similarly, I think

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<v Speaker 3>it drives me and motivates me and you too. And

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<v Speaker 3>so it's no mistake that we're all talking about this

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<v Speaker 3>right now, and so in terms of consciousness and where

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<v Speaker 3>we are in consciousness right now, I think it is

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<v Speaker 3>a pivotal moment in our evolution as a civilization as

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<v Speaker 3>a species. And I think all of our Sacks is

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<v Speaker 3>as much a part of that conversation as you and

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<v Speaker 3>I are right now, it's sitting here in.

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<v Speaker 1>The slash yeah, and including everybody.

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<v Speaker 2>Actually it's a world yeah, because I think we were

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<v Speaker 2>just talking about that book Letting Go. I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>if you've read that. Have you ever read that by

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<v Speaker 2>David Hawkins. It's a great book about consciousness.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's just about you know, how leading with love, and.

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<v Speaker 2>Like love really is the answer to everything, Like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>stop resisting, stop fighting, stop arguing, stop being negative, stop

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<v Speaker 2>getting in negative patterns that you can't get out of,

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<v Speaker 2>but you can get out of them. It's never too

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<v Speaker 2>late to get out of your negativity. And like the

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<v Speaker 2>vibes bring the vibes up, you know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 2>When you're around somebody and you leave them and you

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<v Speaker 2>feel better after having seen them, that's because they have

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<v Speaker 2>high vibes and then they are infecting you by osmosis

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<v Speaker 2>with their high vibes. And my goal and our goal

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<v Speaker 2>is a plant should obviously be like you know, so

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<v Speaker 2>much love could heal and hate doesn't bring us anything good.

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<v Speaker 1>It just brings us more acrimony.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm so happy to hear you say this, And just

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<v Speaker 3>to piggyback on that. You know, we are living in

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<v Speaker 3>this moment right now. It is such an unprecedented time

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<v Speaker 3>what we're experiencing right now. The ground is shifting beneath

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<v Speaker 3>our feet as we're standing on it. So there's an

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<v Speaker 3>urgent need right now. The urgent need of the time

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<v Speaker 3>right now is for exactly what you're saying, is for

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<v Speaker 3>everybody who has even the faintest inkling of that sensibility

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<v Speaker 3>that you just articulated, to do whatever they can do

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<v Speaker 3>to tune their listening to that vibration and allow that

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<v Speaker 3>vibration to strengthen within them, and then allow that strengthening

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<v Speaker 3>the vibration within them to reverberate in other people that

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<v Speaker 3>will then continue to amplify that out and out and out.

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<v Speaker 3>And what we're witnessing right now, in my estimation, is

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<v Speaker 3>that collectively, we have decided to focus on the wrong

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<v Speaker 3>things and all of this attention. If you look at

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<v Speaker 3>how it's built and built and built, and it's really

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<v Speaker 3>building to this election, isn't it right? You look at

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<v Speaker 3>how it's built, and I'm not just talking about in

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<v Speaker 3>the United States, but just in terms of you know,

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<v Speaker 3>the broader spectrum, we have created these paradigms that are

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<v Speaker 3>based in the binary one way or the other, right

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<v Speaker 3>or wrong, black and white. I'm on this side, you're

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<v Speaker 3>on that side. When the reality is that those are

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<v Speaker 3>all reactions that are coming from a place of completely

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<v Speaker 3>justifiable and understandable fear. Fear. Fear fear has driven us

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<v Speaker 3>to this place of binary thinking and clinging to the

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<v Speaker 3>constructs that we have all agreed upon for generations are

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<v Speaker 3>going to be the foundation of how we relate to

0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:10.679
<v Speaker 3>one another, and how we see one another, and how

0:11:10.720 --> 0:11:14.080
<v Speaker 3>we sink of one another. But when we really zoom

0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:17.160
<v Speaker 3>out and consider what we are up against and what

0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:20.199
<v Speaker 3>we are now not about to, but what we are

0:11:20.240 --> 0:11:24.760
<v Speaker 3>now entering into moving forward, right, the existential crises that

0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:27.520
<v Speaker 3>present themselves to us, namely, and there are many, I

0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:31.040
<v Speaker 3>don't need to name them all, but namely climate change

0:11:31.080 --> 0:11:34.679
<v Speaker 3>and artificial intelligence. Let's just start there. Climate change, we're

0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:38.240
<v Speaker 3>already seeing. It's not something that's going to happen. We

0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:39.880
<v Speaker 3>don't have to argue about it. I don't want to

0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:41.599
<v Speaker 3>get into the semantics of the black and white of it.

0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:45.080
<v Speaker 3>Right North Carolina, Florida, in the last two weeks, we

0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:51.800
<v Speaker 3>have seen these unprecedented catastrophic, cataclysmic experiences. They're just the beginning,

0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:55.160
<v Speaker 3>but they are happening at an accelerated rate, they're happening

0:11:55.240 --> 0:11:59.160
<v Speaker 3>more frequently, and they're happening in more anomalous situations, like

0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:02.280
<v Speaker 3>in the mountains of North Carolina, where they shouldn't be happening. Right, So,

0:12:02.320 --> 0:12:05.680
<v Speaker 3>if we take this as the harbinger of what's to come,

0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:11.000
<v Speaker 3>we recognize that within the next ten to fifteen, certainly

0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:14.080
<v Speaker 3>twenty years, the kinds of mass migrations that we're going

0:12:14.080 --> 0:12:16.800
<v Speaker 3>to see on the planet. Right, the tens of millions

0:12:16.800 --> 0:12:18.760
<v Speaker 3>of people who are going to have to move from

0:12:18.760 --> 0:12:20.640
<v Speaker 3>place to place because the place that they're in now

0:12:20.880 --> 0:12:24.160
<v Speaker 3>are no longer inhabitable. That's one thing. And then you

0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:27.760
<v Speaker 3>just blow in underneath that artificial intelligence and machine learning.

0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:31.800
<v Speaker 3>We've already invited that into the conversation. We don't know

0:12:32.080 --> 0:12:34.400
<v Speaker 3>what it's capable of, we don't know how fast or

0:12:34.679 --> 0:12:37.480
<v Speaker 3>how dramatically it's going to evolve, but we've already brought

0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:39.679
<v Speaker 3>it into the conversation. So it's already here. People are

0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:42.800
<v Speaker 3>already using chat GPT to write their cover letters, and

0:12:42.880 --> 0:12:47.240
<v Speaker 3>you know, so it's already here. We're divesting ourselves of

0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:51.840
<v Speaker 3>the experience of being human. We're outsourcing the human experience

0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:54.160
<v Speaker 3>to this artificial intelligence, and we have no idea where

0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:57.560
<v Speaker 3>that's going to take us. So collectively we are on

0:12:57.640 --> 0:13:02.400
<v Speaker 3>the precipice of change. We can't either family because if

0:13:02.480 --> 0:13:05.360
<v Speaker 3>you add just those two variables, and there are many others,

0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:07.840
<v Speaker 3>but if you add just those two variables to the equation,

0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:10.680
<v Speaker 3>then we have no idea what the future looks like.

0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:14.200
<v Speaker 3>And so the constructs that we've agreed upon in the

0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:21.280
<v Speaker 3>past are rapidly dissolving. And my feeling is that consciousness

0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:25.600
<v Speaker 3>and the rapid expansion of consciousness is the only way

0:13:25.640 --> 0:13:28.960
<v Speaker 3>that we have any chance of moving forward with success,

0:13:29.040 --> 0:13:32.280
<v Speaker 3>to thrive, or to survive. Even so, for me, it

0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:35.240
<v Speaker 3>is exactly what you're saying, and I think people all

0:13:35.280 --> 0:13:38.160
<v Speaker 3>around the planet right now are feeling it and sensing it,

0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:40.720
<v Speaker 3>and even if they don't know what it is, they're

0:13:40.800 --> 0:13:44.400
<v Speaker 3>tapping into something bigger than themselves, because it's everywhere you look,

0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:49.960
<v Speaker 3>and it is our responsibility to amplify that and bring

0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:53.280
<v Speaker 3>people into the light, just like you're saying. So I'm

0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:55.160
<v Speaker 3>glad to hear you say it. I know I feel

0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:57.360
<v Speaker 3>like I've been talking about seventy some minutes about shutting up.

0:13:57.360 --> 0:13:59.920
<v Speaker 3>But I feel so strongly about it right now, and

0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:04.280
<v Speaker 3>it feels so urgent that we have to talk about it.

0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:06.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I agree with you. I feel the same way.

0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:10.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm mentent on spreading infecting as many people with kindness

0:14:10.240 --> 0:14:10.800
<v Speaker 2>as I can.

0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:14.400
<v Speaker 3>Do you meditate, yes, I do? Good.

0:14:14.679 --> 0:14:15.959
<v Speaker 1>What kind of meditation do you do?

0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:19.280
<v Speaker 3>I do veading meditation, which is an offshoot of TM.

0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:21.520
<v Speaker 3>So it's the same technique as TM, it's just a

0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:25.680
<v Speaker 3>different community and it's a twice daily practice mantra based.

0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:26.440
<v Speaker 3>What about you.

0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:30.240
<v Speaker 2>I do a Choprah app mostly I do like a

0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:32.360
<v Speaker 2>guided meditation about twenty minutes each morning.

0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:35.040
<v Speaker 3>Right, So Chopra comes from the Vedic world. I mean

0:14:35.120 --> 0:14:38.280
<v Speaker 3>Deepak Chopra is that is the same. We are the

0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:41.040
<v Speaker 3>same in that practice. And I say to anybody who

0:14:41.040 --> 0:14:43.760
<v Speaker 3>has a meditation practice right now and especially for the

0:14:43.800 --> 0:14:48.160
<v Speaker 3>next three weeks before the election, meditation, meditation, meditation, it

0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:52.440
<v Speaker 3>is it is Defcon five, All hands on deck. If

0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.000
<v Speaker 3>you have a practice or you know people who have practices,

0:14:55.160 --> 0:15:00.120
<v Speaker 3>now is the time to come to your practice and

0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:03.360
<v Speaker 3>hold space, because not only do we have to hold

0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:06.680
<v Speaker 3>space for our own experiences, we have to be able

0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:10.560
<v Speaker 3>to hold space for the experience of the collective, because

0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:13.320
<v Speaker 3>this is a collective shift of consciousness that's happening right now.

0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:16.560
<v Speaker 3>It's not an individual shift of consciousness. It is happening

0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:19.800
<v Speaker 3>on the individual level, on the micro level. But if

0:15:19.840 --> 0:15:22.480
<v Speaker 3>you zoom out and look at the macro level, you know,

0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:25.680
<v Speaker 3>just think about what we're fighting about right Think about

0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:28.360
<v Speaker 3>what we're fighting about. Think about the Middle East. I

0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:31.040
<v Speaker 3>care not wading into those waters in terms of the politics,

0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:35.360
<v Speaker 3>the history. I have no authority or knowledge to do so. However,

0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:38.480
<v Speaker 3>I will say that it is one of the binaries

0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:41.080
<v Speaker 3>that is the most kind of volatile binaries on the

0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:43.840
<v Speaker 3>planet right now. But if you zoom out, the reality

0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.720
<v Speaker 3>is that what we're fighting over is land that will

0:15:46.720 --> 0:15:49.800
<v Speaker 3>be uninhabitable in the next twenty five years by anybody,

0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:52.280
<v Speaker 3>so that the Palestinians and the Jews are going to

0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:55.680
<v Speaker 3>have to shoulder to shoulder walk together to find a

0:15:55.720 --> 0:15:59.480
<v Speaker 3>place where they all can live and survive. So we

0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:03.040
<v Speaker 3>are focusing on the hatred. We're focusing on We no

0:16:03.120 --> 0:16:07.680
<v Speaker 3>longer have the luxury to be defined by the constructs

0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:11.000
<v Speaker 3>that have defined us for the last hundreds of years,

0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:13.840
<v Speaker 3>and generations. You know, we just as a civilization no

0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:17.480
<v Speaker 3>longer have the luxury of being defined by whether we're

0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:21.200
<v Speaker 3>Jewish or Palestinian, or gay or straight, or CIS or trans,

0:16:21.360 --> 0:16:25.680
<v Speaker 3>or black or white. That conversation is over, and how

0:16:25.720 --> 0:16:29.160
<v Speaker 3>we recognize the end of that conversation and evolve that

0:16:29.200 --> 0:16:33.120
<v Speaker 3>conversation into what the new conversation has to be is

0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:35.440
<v Speaker 3>the moment that we're living through right now, and as

0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:39.160
<v Speaker 3>terrifying as it is, it is also profoundly full of

0:16:39.200 --> 0:16:46.160
<v Speaker 3>beauty and possibility and creativity and joy. And that is

0:16:46.440 --> 0:16:49.880
<v Speaker 3>our job to move in that direction and to move

0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:53.640
<v Speaker 3>toward that because we're not going to change anybody's minds.

0:16:53.760 --> 0:16:56.920
<v Speaker 3>We're not going to change anybody. And the reality is

0:16:56.920 --> 0:17:00.200
<v Speaker 3>as well, that you know, the planet can sustain the

0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:04.479
<v Speaker 3>current trajectory of population that that that we're you know,

0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:07.720
<v Speaker 3>barraging it with. So the reality is that things are

0:17:07.720 --> 0:17:10.280
<v Speaker 3>going to shift cataclysmically and they already are. Look at

0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:12.840
<v Speaker 3>the wars, look at the natural disasters around the planet.

0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:15.560
<v Speaker 3>There's nothing we can do to stop that stuff. But

0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:20.159
<v Speaker 3>what we have to do is evolve adapt And you know,

0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:23.959
<v Speaker 3>that's what Oliver Sacks believed. That's why there's no mistake

0:17:24.040 --> 0:17:26.200
<v Speaker 3>that I happen to be, you know, playing this character

0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:29.720
<v Speaker 3>right now at this moment. Think about all the fucking dark, twisted,

0:17:29.720 --> 0:17:32.719
<v Speaker 3>fucked up characters I've played, so you know, and my

0:17:32.800 --> 0:17:35.439
<v Speaker 3>own journey from the dark into the light, and now

0:17:35.840 --> 0:17:39.359
<v Speaker 3>I get to play a role and tell stories and

0:17:39.520 --> 0:17:43.720
<v Speaker 3>put them into the world from a place of evolution

0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:47.320
<v Speaker 3>and adaptation and on my own personal journey, that's been true,

0:17:47.680 --> 0:17:51.360
<v Speaker 3>and I think creatively that's been true, and hopefully collectively

0:17:51.400 --> 0:17:54.679
<v Speaker 3>that will be true as well as we continue to

0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:55.359
<v Speaker 3>move forward.

0:17:55.840 --> 0:17:57.800
<v Speaker 2>This is like a sermon. Oh my god, I loved

0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:01.280
<v Speaker 2>it today, but I know, I mean, look at you.

0:18:01.600 --> 0:18:03.880
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I really couldn't have said it better myself.

0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:04.480
<v Speaker 1>I love it.

0:18:04.600 --> 0:18:06.439
<v Speaker 3>I'm glad to hear it. I'm sorry I went on

0:18:06.480 --> 0:18:08.920
<v Speaker 3>a rant, but I've just been thinking about it so much.

0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.960
<v Speaker 3>And also, there's no mistake that I'm doing fucking press

0:18:12.000 --> 0:18:15.000
<v Speaker 3>for the Igains. Swear right. It's you. I shouldn't be

0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:18.520
<v Speaker 3>in there, but you know that I'm doing press that

0:18:18.600 --> 0:18:22.159
<v Speaker 3>I have, that I have an opportunity to connect with

0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:25.359
<v Speaker 3>like minded people in this way. And I just knew

0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:27.840
<v Speaker 3>coming into this that you're probably on the same wavelength

0:18:27.880 --> 0:18:29.800
<v Speaker 3>because That's why I've always been drawn to you, even

0:18:29.840 --> 0:18:31.480
<v Speaker 3>before I met you or knew you, and I just

0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:36.240
<v Speaker 3>saw you as someone who is asking the questions, pushing

0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:39.400
<v Speaker 3>the boundaries, you know, not letting yourself off the look,

0:18:39.840 --> 0:18:42.720
<v Speaker 3>digging deeper. And that's what we need. We need to

0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:45.760
<v Speaker 3>reach out to one another and then bring the people

0:18:45.800 --> 0:18:49.080
<v Speaker 3>who are kind of aware of that sensibility, even if

0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:53.320
<v Speaker 3>they haven't completely accessed it themselves along for the journey.

0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:55.159
<v Speaker 3>That is a hat.

0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:58.359
<v Speaker 2>Because the true definition or the true meaning of consciousness

0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:02.080
<v Speaker 2>isn't just being conscious about what's happening in your life.

0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:06.159
<v Speaker 2>It's about having a collected consciousness with the entire world.

0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:10.480
<v Speaker 2>So every single person matters in the same way.

0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:14.119
<v Speaker 1>There aren't people who matter more or less at all.

0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:17.040
<v Speaker 2>And that's where yeah, and so there it does feel

0:19:17.040 --> 0:19:19.120
<v Speaker 2>like a tipping a point, especially if the election goes

0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:21.359
<v Speaker 2>the way that I want it to. I feel like

0:19:21.480 --> 0:19:23.960
<v Speaker 2>that we all want it to that are sitting here today,

0:19:24.280 --> 0:19:26.760
<v Speaker 2>I feel like, you know, then we really do have

0:19:26.800 --> 0:19:29.720
<v Speaker 2>an opportunity to change the world, because you know, climate

0:19:29.800 --> 0:19:32.600
<v Speaker 2>change is at the foot, it's out the door, it's happening.

0:19:33.080 --> 0:19:36.280
<v Speaker 2>And what we need in response to that is not

0:19:36.400 --> 0:19:39.240
<v Speaker 2>more fighting. We need all hands on deck and love

0:19:39.680 --> 0:19:42.679
<v Speaker 2>to receive these people who are not no longer going

0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:45.000
<v Speaker 2>to have a safe place to live, to actually be

0:19:45.080 --> 0:19:47.520
<v Speaker 2>able to help and aid and send aid. You know,

0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:49.199
<v Speaker 2>there are so many things that we're going to have

0:19:49.200 --> 0:19:51.760
<v Speaker 2>to deal with. Can you imagine having additional wars and

0:19:51.800 --> 0:19:52.760
<v Speaker 2>then climate change?

0:19:52.760 --> 0:19:54.800
<v Speaker 1>And you know it's like, let's stop with the wars and.

0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:57.359
<v Speaker 3>Start with the love and water wars and that you know,

0:19:57.359 --> 0:20:00.400
<v Speaker 3>the wars the climate change is going to ignite. Right.

0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:02.960
<v Speaker 3>So the other thing that I think is important to

0:20:03.080 --> 0:20:06.040
<v Speaker 3>kind of bring into this conversation a little bit about

0:20:06.080 --> 0:20:12.560
<v Speaker 3>about evolution is that one essential element of evolution is destruction.

0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:16.960
<v Speaker 3>That's just a simple fact of nature. Creation, maintenance, destruction,

0:20:17.080 --> 0:20:20.520
<v Speaker 3>These three operating forces are always at play in nature.

0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:24.080
<v Speaker 3>And if we consider that as human beings, we are

0:20:24.119 --> 0:20:27.720
<v Speaker 3>individual expressions of nature. If we're if we're operating from

0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:31.240
<v Speaker 3>this place which is scientifically proven, that we are all

0:20:31.480 --> 0:20:36.000
<v Speaker 3>expressions of extensions of one unified field of consciousness. Right.

0:20:36.040 --> 0:20:39.399
<v Speaker 3>This is quantum physics. This is you know, what is

0:20:39.640 --> 0:20:43.560
<v Speaker 3>far beyond my level of intellectual capacity to understand, let

0:20:43.600 --> 0:20:47.840
<v Speaker 3>alone explain, But you know, quantum physics proves the idea

0:20:48.480 --> 0:20:51.879
<v Speaker 3>that all matter comes from one source, which is on

0:20:52.040 --> 0:20:55.000
<v Speaker 3>MENSS and then becomes MENSS. Then we all do come

0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:57.879
<v Speaker 3>from the same place, right, We are all connected in

0:20:57.960 --> 0:21:01.479
<v Speaker 3>ways that we don't even come hand or understand. And

0:21:01.560 --> 0:21:05.439
<v Speaker 3>yet we have lived in a world that for millennia

0:21:05.640 --> 0:21:10.200
<v Speaker 3>has really existed on this idea of individual identity, right,

0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:16.280
<v Speaker 3>personal egoic identity. And now we are confronted with profound

0:21:16.320 --> 0:21:21.920
<v Speaker 3>transformations that no longer allow us to hide behind those constructs. Right,

0:21:21.920 --> 0:21:25.840
<v Speaker 3>those constructs are dissolving, and now we have to accept

0:21:25.880 --> 0:21:29.120
<v Speaker 3>the fact that destruction in many forms is a part

0:21:29.240 --> 0:21:33.320
<v Speaker 3>of progress. And so the election, for example, I think

0:21:33.359 --> 0:21:36.840
<v Speaker 3>represents two very different paths. Are we going to move

0:21:36.880 --> 0:21:40.920
<v Speaker 3>forward with an administration who has some awareness of and

0:21:41.000 --> 0:21:45.240
<v Speaker 3>some understanding of the contexts as it is in a

0:21:45.320 --> 0:21:48.119
<v Speaker 3>larger sense, or are we going to move forward with

0:21:48.680 --> 0:21:53.960
<v Speaker 3>an administration who is completely limited in their ability to

0:21:54.040 --> 0:21:58.639
<v Speaker 3>see what's actually happening and focused on holding on to

0:21:58.880 --> 0:22:03.280
<v Speaker 3>the past, retire turning to something that never will be Well.

0:22:03.640 --> 0:22:05.359
<v Speaker 2>On that note, we're going to take a break and

0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:12.560
<v Speaker 2>we're going to be right back with Zachary Levi. Okay,

0:22:12.560 --> 0:22:15.920
<v Speaker 2>So for Zachary Quinto, for this portion of the show,

0:22:16.000 --> 0:22:17.840
<v Speaker 2>we take callers, and I know that you're excited to

0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:20.720
<v Speaker 2>give advice to some people. You're good at it and

0:22:20.760 --> 0:22:24.000
<v Speaker 2>it's real people, so it's exciting. I find it very

0:22:24.520 --> 0:22:28.760
<v Speaker 2>very what's the word. No, it's more than satisfying and

0:22:28.800 --> 0:22:29.720
<v Speaker 2>me feels meaningful.

0:22:30.359 --> 0:22:32.800
<v Speaker 5>There's connection there, which is just what we've been talking about.

0:22:33.000 --> 0:22:35.200
<v Speaker 5>Oh great, you know this shared consciousness, and now we'll

0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:35.560
<v Speaker 5>share some.

0:22:35.520 --> 0:22:38.439
<v Speaker 2>Conscience, share our consciousness, but we're going to infect some

0:22:38.480 --> 0:22:39.040
<v Speaker 2>more people.

0:22:39.240 --> 0:22:42.600
<v Speaker 5>Yeah. Well, our first question is just an email. This

0:22:42.680 --> 0:22:45.480
<v Speaker 5>comes from Amanda TLDR.

0:22:45.680 --> 0:22:47.080
<v Speaker 1>I don't what does that mean?

0:22:47.200 --> 0:22:47.320
<v Speaker 3>What?

0:22:47.480 --> 0:22:49.760
<v Speaker 5>Oh it means too long? Didn't read, so it's like

0:22:49.800 --> 0:22:53.359
<v Speaker 5>a summary TLDR. I want to not give a shit

0:22:53.480 --> 0:22:55.800
<v Speaker 5>what other people in my workout bubble look like, so

0:22:55.840 --> 0:22:59.639
<v Speaker 5>I can stop comparing myself to them. As an athletic, healthy,

0:22:59.720 --> 0:23:01.959
<v Speaker 5>forty four year old woman who loves to stay active,

0:23:02.080 --> 0:23:05.240
<v Speaker 5>I've always tried to embrace a positive relationship with my body.

0:23:05.800 --> 0:23:08.160
<v Speaker 5>I'm not trying to look like a twenty something anymore.

0:23:08.240 --> 0:23:11.400
<v Speaker 5>I've always loved the gym, and during COVID I discovered

0:23:11.400 --> 0:23:15.000
<v Speaker 5>the Tracy Anderson method. I've completely fallen for it. I

0:23:15.000 --> 0:23:17.160
<v Speaker 5>practice five to six times a week and truly enjoy

0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:21.040
<v Speaker 5>the process, but constantly being bombarded by this and other

0:23:21.119 --> 0:23:24.280
<v Speaker 5>fitness marketing online can sometimes have a negative impact on

0:23:24.280 --> 0:23:27.800
<v Speaker 5>my self esteem. I often find myself feeling self deprecating

0:23:27.880 --> 0:23:30.679
<v Speaker 5>and critical of my body, especially when I compare myself

0:23:30.720 --> 0:23:33.400
<v Speaker 5>to the trainers and many women who post their workouts

0:23:33.400 --> 0:23:36.280
<v Speaker 5>with their perfect size two bodies and somehow have their

0:23:36.640 --> 0:23:39.640
<v Speaker 5>makeup and hair looking perfect to boot. I often will

0:23:39.680 --> 0:23:42.040
<v Speaker 5>record myself training, but then I see myself and I'm

0:23:42.040 --> 0:23:44.920
<v Speaker 5>mortified and won't post it. It's like a downward spiral.

0:23:45.480 --> 0:23:48.000
<v Speaker 5>I know I shouldn't let these comparisons affect me, especially

0:23:48.040 --> 0:23:50.280
<v Speaker 5>at my age, but I find it challenging to appreciate

0:23:50.320 --> 0:23:53.720
<v Speaker 5>my body and health when I'm bombarded with unrealistic standards.

0:23:54.080 --> 0:23:56.840
<v Speaker 5>It's gotten so much worse in my forties. I'm a

0:23:56.880 --> 0:23:59.760
<v Speaker 5>grown ass, smart, educated woman. Why do I let this

0:23:59.800 --> 0:24:02.159
<v Speaker 5>bother me? And how can I stop comparing myself to

0:24:02.200 --> 0:24:05.119
<v Speaker 5>picture perfect bodies? I just want to feel happier about

0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:08.720
<v Speaker 5>my own body. Warmly, Amanda, I don't know what do

0:24:08.760 --> 0:24:09.120
<v Speaker 5>you think.

0:24:09.200 --> 0:24:13.000
<v Speaker 3>You're very You're very active. I've seen you many a

0:24:13.000 --> 0:24:13.640
<v Speaker 3>mountain side.

0:24:14.119 --> 0:24:17.800
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I would say on the subject of letting go.

0:24:18.119 --> 0:24:19.160
<v Speaker 1>Let it go.

0:24:19.880 --> 0:24:23.800
<v Speaker 2>If looking at other videos and fitness videos or people

0:24:23.880 --> 0:24:26.960
<v Speaker 2>in your class posting or looking at them while you're

0:24:27.000 --> 0:24:29.480
<v Speaker 2>working out, if those things bother you.

0:24:29.200 --> 0:24:32.639
<v Speaker 1>Focus on yourself. Just focus on yourself.

0:24:32.920 --> 0:24:36.680
<v Speaker 2>Everybody has these feelings that you're talking about, but it's

0:24:36.760 --> 0:24:39.560
<v Speaker 2>up to you to like cut the cord of comparison.

0:24:39.720 --> 0:24:41.840
<v Speaker 2>Like that's why I don't spend five hours a day

0:24:41.840 --> 0:24:43.560
<v Speaker 2>online looking at people's Instagram.

0:24:43.920 --> 0:24:46.520
<v Speaker 1>That's because it's bad for you. It's bad to compare.

0:24:47.000 --> 0:24:47.399
<v Speaker 3>What is it.

0:24:47.480 --> 0:24:50.960
<v Speaker 2>Comparison is the beef of joy. Comparison is the thief

0:24:51.000 --> 0:24:53.560
<v Speaker 2>of joy. That's the latest quote that's been going around

0:24:53.560 --> 0:24:55.800
<v Speaker 2>that I heard, and it is so true. It is

0:24:56.359 --> 0:24:58.760
<v Speaker 2>that is not your body. That is not your problem.

0:24:58.920 --> 0:25:03.600
<v Speaker 2>You're here problem and you can either make yourself victorious

0:25:03.800 --> 0:25:05.440
<v Speaker 2>or you could make yourself a problem.

0:25:05.680 --> 0:25:07.840
<v Speaker 1>So the fact I would say that you're working out five.

0:25:07.680 --> 0:25:10.160
<v Speaker 2>To six times a day doing I've done that workout before,

0:25:10.240 --> 0:25:13.879
<v Speaker 2>that's not easy. You should be celebratory of the fact

0:25:14.160 --> 0:25:16.440
<v Speaker 2>that you are doing the best that you can do

0:25:16.880 --> 0:25:18.639
<v Speaker 2>and stop comparing yourself to other people.

0:25:18.640 --> 0:25:20.679
<v Speaker 1>That is a losing scenario.

0:25:20.880 --> 0:25:23.399
<v Speaker 2>So write something down on your fridge or your mirror

0:25:23.480 --> 0:25:27.280
<v Speaker 2>or wherever you look at the most and say, comparison

0:25:27.359 --> 0:25:28.200
<v Speaker 2>is the thief of joy.

0:25:28.240 --> 0:25:30.280
<v Speaker 1>Write that down. That's all you need to know, and

0:25:30.359 --> 0:25:31.440
<v Speaker 1>imprint it on your mind.

0:25:32.359 --> 0:25:34.399
<v Speaker 2>And you know, once you read something enough times, you

0:25:34.440 --> 0:25:36.840
<v Speaker 2>don't need to see it every single day. You remember

0:25:36.880 --> 0:25:38.919
<v Speaker 2>when you wake up, you know, and then it becomes

0:25:39.000 --> 0:25:42.160
<v Speaker 2>part of who you are, because yeah, I just don't

0:25:42.200 --> 0:25:48.000
<v Speaker 2>think there's any You don't get any benefit from depleting

0:25:48.040 --> 0:25:52.399
<v Speaker 2>yourself of the pride that you have earned from going

0:25:52.480 --> 0:25:55.000
<v Speaker 2>and working out to make yourself feel better every single day?

0:25:55.200 --> 0:25:57.120
<v Speaker 1>Why are you letting anyone take that away from you?

0:25:57.880 --> 0:26:00.199
<v Speaker 3>And I would also only just say that you know

0:26:00.280 --> 0:26:04.639
<v Speaker 3>this difference between where are you looking for your sense

0:26:04.680 --> 0:26:07.679
<v Speaker 3>of self? Where are you looking for your sense of

0:26:07.800 --> 0:26:10.399
<v Speaker 3>validation and purpose and meaning in the world? Are you

0:26:10.480 --> 0:26:13.840
<v Speaker 3>looking outside of yourself for that? So you're looking to

0:26:13.960 --> 0:26:17.600
<v Speaker 3>import that feeling from people's reactions to you, like oh

0:26:17.640 --> 0:26:19.280
<v Speaker 3>my god, you look so good, or you know you

0:26:19.320 --> 0:26:21.119
<v Speaker 3>lost so much weight, or you look so skinny, so

0:26:21.240 --> 0:26:23.800
<v Speaker 3>then you feel better about yourself. Well, that's importing that

0:26:23.920 --> 0:26:28.520
<v Speaker 3>feeling from somewhere else, as opposed to allowing the discipline,

0:26:28.640 --> 0:26:32.480
<v Speaker 3>the commitment, the endorphins, the progress that you're making in

0:26:32.560 --> 0:26:35.560
<v Speaker 3>your own life to be the source of your fulfillment,

0:26:36.040 --> 0:26:39.600
<v Speaker 3>which you can then radiate and export out to the world.

0:26:39.640 --> 0:26:43.600
<v Speaker 3>So this difference between importing a sense of validation and

0:26:43.760 --> 0:26:47.120
<v Speaker 3>exporting a sense of validation. When you're importing a sense

0:26:47.160 --> 0:26:49.720
<v Speaker 3>of validation, you need to keep looking for it. You

0:26:49.760 --> 0:26:51.800
<v Speaker 3>need to keep looking for it from other people. You

0:26:51.840 --> 0:26:54.000
<v Speaker 3>need to keep looking for it from you know, is

0:26:54.000 --> 0:26:57.280
<v Speaker 3>it comparison, is it I'm successful, i am in love,

0:26:57.400 --> 0:27:00.159
<v Speaker 3>I'm whatever. So you're looking for it somewhere else, and

0:27:00.200 --> 0:27:04.000
<v Speaker 3>then it's unsustainable. But if you're able to gift that

0:27:04.040 --> 0:27:08.159
<v Speaker 3>focus and recognize that what you're doing by committing to

0:27:08.240 --> 0:27:10.639
<v Speaker 3>your own well being, committing as a forty four year

0:27:10.640 --> 0:27:13.560
<v Speaker 3>old woman, I think she said to, you know, embracing

0:27:13.760 --> 0:27:17.480
<v Speaker 3>life and staying active and keeping your body engaged, that's

0:27:17.480 --> 0:27:19.439
<v Speaker 3>more than ninety five percent of the people on the

0:27:19.440 --> 0:27:24.040
<v Speaker 3>planet are doing. So shift your focus to recognize how

0:27:24.080 --> 0:27:27.359
<v Speaker 3>wonderful that is, what a generous thing you're doing for

0:27:27.440 --> 0:27:31.360
<v Speaker 3>yourself right, and then you can, hopefully, you know, focus

0:27:31.440 --> 0:27:34.120
<v Speaker 3>that energy on yourself and then cultivate a place from

0:27:34.160 --> 0:27:38.080
<v Speaker 3>which that gratitude and that pride, that well deserved self

0:27:38.440 --> 0:27:42.000
<v Speaker 3>directed pride can then be something that other people see

0:27:42.040 --> 0:27:46.040
<v Speaker 3>in you and recognize as something that inspires them. Then

0:27:46.080 --> 0:27:50.280
<v Speaker 3>you're magnetizing people into your experience who are drawn to

0:27:50.320 --> 0:27:53.679
<v Speaker 3>you because you have generated this light that brings them in,

0:27:53.760 --> 0:27:56.040
<v Speaker 3>not because you're looking for other people to shine their

0:27:56.119 --> 0:27:57.639
<v Speaker 3>lead on you to make you feel better.

0:27:58.480 --> 0:28:00.760
<v Speaker 5>Right, it doesn't matter how bang your body is, if

0:28:00.760 --> 0:28:01.919
<v Speaker 5>your vibration is low.

0:28:01.840 --> 0:28:03.720
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Or it doesn't matter how better of your body is,

0:28:03.920 --> 0:28:06.359
<v Speaker 3>if all you care about is that other people see

0:28:06.359 --> 0:28:07.480
<v Speaker 3>that or feel that way.

0:28:07.480 --> 0:28:10.760
<v Speaker 2>See, yeah, exactly exactly. But I love what you just

0:28:10.800 --> 0:28:13.400
<v Speaker 2>said because it's you know you can. You can attract

0:28:13.440 --> 0:28:16.400
<v Speaker 2>people on so many different levels and in so many

0:28:16.440 --> 0:28:20.840
<v Speaker 2>different ways. You're focusing on the wrong thing. Like infuse

0:28:20.920 --> 0:28:23.920
<v Speaker 2>yourself with the positivity that you derive from working out

0:28:24.280 --> 0:28:26.920
<v Speaker 2>and just let that be and I promise you you're

0:28:26.920 --> 0:28:28.120
<v Speaker 2>going to have a different outlook.

0:28:28.200 --> 0:28:30.600
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, this might be a great place to to incorporate.

0:28:30.680 --> 0:28:33.320
<v Speaker 5>Chelsea recommends a lot of gratitude journal and do that

0:28:33.359 --> 0:28:36.000
<v Speaker 5>for thirty days, like just focusing on like here's what

0:28:36.000 --> 0:28:38.360
<v Speaker 5>my body can do, Here's what I was able to

0:28:38.360 --> 0:28:40.960
<v Speaker 5>do yesterday, Here's how strong I feel today and really

0:28:41.000 --> 0:28:42.840
<v Speaker 5>focusing on that for thirty days.

0:28:43.280 --> 0:28:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:28:43.520 --> 0:28:46.040
<v Speaker 2>And you know what, also, I just talked to someone

0:28:46.080 --> 0:28:48.960
<v Speaker 2>about this and it was somebody who was very unexpectedly

0:28:49.000 --> 0:28:51.800
<v Speaker 2>wrote a gratitude journal that I was like, really, he

0:28:51.880 --> 0:28:55.040
<v Speaker 2>must have been a straight man. But anyway, he was

0:28:55.080 --> 0:28:57.120
<v Speaker 2>saying to me that he did do it, not at

0:28:57.160 --> 0:29:00.800
<v Speaker 2>my behest, but that someone else is a mind. And

0:29:00.840 --> 0:29:03.720
<v Speaker 2>he said, I mean it's vibrationally, like how you can

0:29:03.800 --> 0:29:06.680
<v Speaker 2>change your attitude, how you can change your outlook, like

0:29:06.800 --> 0:29:08.800
<v Speaker 2>it's a matter of days if you just put that

0:29:08.880 --> 0:29:10.959
<v Speaker 2>down to practice, like all these little things you can

0:29:11.040 --> 0:29:13.440
<v Speaker 2>do to keep the vibes high.

0:29:13.520 --> 0:29:15.400
<v Speaker 5>Zachary Levi wasn't.

0:29:16.640 --> 0:29:18.680
<v Speaker 1>I mean, most things are Zachary Levi with me.

0:29:18.880 --> 0:29:21.640
<v Speaker 5>So thanks, Amanda, and let us know if that changes

0:29:21.680 --> 0:29:24.760
<v Speaker 5>things for you. Our next question comes from Brian and

0:29:24.800 --> 0:29:27.160
<v Speaker 5>he's going to be calling in is it Zachary Levi?

0:29:28.160 --> 0:29:30.240
<v Speaker 3>And he identified he does.

0:29:30.720 --> 0:29:34.320
<v Speaker 5>So Brian says, Dear Chelsea, I've recently started dating a

0:29:34.360 --> 0:29:37.560
<v Speaker 5>new guy and he's absolutely wonderful. He's got a great job,

0:29:37.720 --> 0:29:40.360
<v Speaker 5>he's super sweet and has a good support system around

0:29:40.440 --> 0:29:44.360
<v Speaker 5>him and texts in full complete sentences. I know, Chelsea

0:29:44.400 --> 0:29:45.520
<v Speaker 5>will appreciate that one.

0:29:45.600 --> 0:29:46.880
<v Speaker 1>I do appreciate that.

0:29:46.800 --> 0:29:52.120
<v Speaker 5>There's just one caveat. He's undetectable untransmittable HIV positive, meaning

0:29:52.160 --> 0:29:54.400
<v Speaker 5>his viral load is so low that he's not able

0:29:54.440 --> 0:29:57.600
<v Speaker 5>to pass it along, or so the science says. I have, however,

0:29:57.680 --> 0:30:00.560
<v Speaker 5>heard of cases where this has still occurred. I'm also

0:30:00.640 --> 0:30:03.480
<v Speaker 5>on PREP, so that's another layer of protection. And obviously

0:30:03.480 --> 0:30:05.640
<v Speaker 5>condoms can be used as well, although I'm allergic to

0:30:05.720 --> 0:30:08.400
<v Speaker 5>late text and haven't used condoms in yours. I really

0:30:08.480 --> 0:30:10.240
<v Speaker 5>like this guy, and we're at the point of exploring

0:30:10.280 --> 0:30:12.840
<v Speaker 5>things physically. I just have some worries with this, as

0:30:12.840 --> 0:30:15.600
<v Speaker 5>it's a huge potential risk. I feel it's a risk

0:30:15.640 --> 0:30:17.680
<v Speaker 5>I'm willing to take in the right situation for sure.

0:30:17.720 --> 0:30:23.400
<v Speaker 5>I just don't know when that time is. Sincerely, Brian, Hi, Brian, Brian, Hi.

0:30:23.960 --> 0:30:24.160
<v Speaker 4>Hi.

0:30:24.320 --> 0:30:26.800
<v Speaker 1>This is our special guest, Zachary Quinto today.

0:30:26.920 --> 0:30:31.280
<v Speaker 3>Hi, nice to meet you. Say Kinto or Quinto, You're right,

0:30:31.360 --> 0:30:33.080
<v Speaker 3>You're right? Shows this Quinto Pinto?

0:30:33.200 --> 0:30:35.360
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Sorry, sorry he's telling you he's a fan. I'm like,

0:30:35.400 --> 0:30:35.960
<v Speaker 2>is it Quinto?

0:30:36.080 --> 0:30:36.320
<v Speaker 4>Please?

0:30:36.400 --> 0:30:39.960
<v Speaker 2>Quick here like an asshole? Sorry, anyway, welcome to our show.

0:30:40.000 --> 0:30:42.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad you're both here. That's a great question. Have

0:30:42.520 --> 0:30:44.080
<v Speaker 2>you spoken to your doctor about this?

0:30:44.400 --> 0:30:48.240
<v Speaker 6>That was my first question too, not specifically about this situation,

0:30:48.400 --> 0:30:51.680
<v Speaker 6>about you know, protection and to begin with, I think

0:30:51.720 --> 0:30:53.520
<v Speaker 6>that's why I started PREP about a year and a

0:30:53.520 --> 0:30:56.160
<v Speaker 6>half ago, so I've had kind of the general over

0:30:56.400 --> 0:30:59.960
<v Speaker 6>overlying conversation, but not specifically about this situation yet.

0:31:00.120 --> 0:31:01.800
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I would I agree with Chelsea. I think

0:31:01.840 --> 0:31:04.760
<v Speaker 3>that is certainly the place to start. To sit down

0:31:04.880 --> 0:31:08.479
<v Speaker 3>with your doctor and explain the situation and come up

0:31:08.520 --> 0:31:13.520
<v Speaker 3>with a plan that your doctor feels is reliable, you know,

0:31:13.640 --> 0:31:18.440
<v Speaker 3>medically sound and reliable. But I mean, the evolution of

0:31:18.760 --> 0:31:22.680
<v Speaker 3>medical technology is so incredible and you know, our generation

0:31:22.840 --> 0:31:27.640
<v Speaker 3>is benefited from that SOT greatly. So you know, between PREP,

0:31:27.680 --> 0:31:31.320
<v Speaker 3>which you're on, and his treatment which keeps him undetectable,

0:31:31.760 --> 0:31:35.960
<v Speaker 3>I mean, the percentage chance of transmission is like point something, right,

0:31:35.960 --> 0:31:38.960
<v Speaker 3>like point zero something. I think it's really really low.

0:31:39.800 --> 0:31:41.360
<v Speaker 3>And so how long have you been together?

0:31:42.720 --> 0:31:44.600
<v Speaker 4>Not long, I'd say about a month.

0:31:44.920 --> 0:31:47.320
<v Speaker 3>Uh oh okay, but it's a little.

0:31:47.120 --> 0:31:49.120
<v Speaker 7>Bit long distance. So we've been on probably like six

0:31:49.280 --> 0:31:51.720
<v Speaker 7>or seven days. I'm supposed to see him tonight actually, so.

0:31:51.800 --> 0:31:55.400
<v Speaker 3>Oh wow, exciting and how openly are you able to

0:31:55.440 --> 0:31:56.240
<v Speaker 3>talk about it with him?

0:31:57.200 --> 0:31:58.600
<v Speaker 4>Communication has been really great.

0:31:59.160 --> 0:32:01.360
<v Speaker 7>He was very you know, forth coming from the beginning

0:32:01.440 --> 0:32:03.480
<v Speaker 7>and you know, give a lot of information on answered

0:32:03.480 --> 0:32:04.480
<v Speaker 7>any and all questions.

0:32:04.480 --> 0:32:07.400
<v Speaker 4>So that was good. I think it's just for me.

0:32:08.320 --> 0:32:11.640
<v Speaker 7>The big question is do I want to and even

0:32:11.640 --> 0:32:13.920
<v Speaker 7>though the risk is super super low, do you want

0:32:13.960 --> 0:32:15.480
<v Speaker 7>to take that risk if it's not something that's going

0:32:15.560 --> 0:32:18.840
<v Speaker 7>to work out. Yeah, And so that's the question that

0:32:18.880 --> 0:32:20.560
<v Speaker 7>I think I have for him. But I just I

0:32:20.600 --> 0:32:23.240
<v Speaker 7>don't know exactly how to phrase that and come across

0:32:23.360 --> 0:32:25.320
<v Speaker 7>obviously endearing with compassion.

0:32:25.520 --> 0:32:28.560
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean, I would just say you're from my

0:32:28.720 --> 0:32:33.920
<v Speaker 3>experience communication, communication, communication, you know, share your feelings, because

0:32:34.040 --> 0:32:37.400
<v Speaker 3>if if your relationship is meant to evolve into something

0:32:37.480 --> 0:32:42.640
<v Speaker 3>substantive and meaningful and sustainable, then communication is the only

0:32:42.720 --> 0:32:45.520
<v Speaker 3>foundation on which you can build a relationship for which

0:32:45.520 --> 0:32:48.360
<v Speaker 3>that will be true. So you have to be able

0:32:48.360 --> 0:32:50.800
<v Speaker 3>to bring all the parts of yourself, the scared parts,

0:32:50.880 --> 0:32:53.040
<v Speaker 3>the vulnerable parts, the parts that you feel like might

0:32:53.080 --> 0:32:56.640
<v Speaker 3>get rejected to the conversation from the beginning, because if

0:32:56.640 --> 0:33:00.600
<v Speaker 3>what you're navigating is, hey, is there youeeling this way

0:33:00.640 --> 0:33:03.480
<v Speaker 3>that I'm feeling like this could be something significant and

0:33:04.520 --> 0:33:07.040
<v Speaker 3>he is feeling that way, then the conversation will lead

0:33:07.080 --> 0:33:10.720
<v Speaker 3>you to the next phase or the next chapter. Right,

0:33:10.880 --> 0:33:14.280
<v Speaker 3>But I don't think you can make it all about

0:33:14.320 --> 0:33:16.560
<v Speaker 3>this one issue. I think what you need to do

0:33:16.640 --> 0:33:19.120
<v Speaker 3>is figure out a way to maybe separate out that

0:33:19.280 --> 0:33:23.720
<v Speaker 3>concern with the bigger question, which is like, hey, are

0:33:23.800 --> 0:33:26.200
<v Speaker 3>we doing this thing? Because if you're doing this thing

0:33:26.240 --> 0:33:30.520
<v Speaker 3>and you're together, then as long as you have a

0:33:30.560 --> 0:33:33.280
<v Speaker 3>foundation who open this honesty and communication, there's nothing else

0:33:33.280 --> 0:33:34.080
<v Speaker 3>you can't figure out.

0:33:34.560 --> 0:33:36.560
<v Speaker 4>Oh, absolutely, And I really appreciate that.

0:33:36.720 --> 0:33:40.240
<v Speaker 7>I speaking of making it about the whole conversation, there's

0:33:40.240 --> 0:33:42.240
<v Speaker 7>been an update since I wrote in and since I

0:33:42.320 --> 0:33:44.200
<v Speaker 7>talked to Catherine last week.

0:33:44.360 --> 0:33:45.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh, yes, you're pregnant.

0:33:46.280 --> 0:33:49.080
<v Speaker 7>But again, it's been moving forward, and so it's been

0:33:49.120 --> 0:33:51.840
<v Speaker 7>moving in the right direction of all that. However, on Thursday,

0:33:52.680 --> 0:33:55.800
<v Speaker 7>I was with him and he told me that he's

0:33:55.920 --> 0:33:58.200
<v Speaker 7>kind of unhappy at his place of work right now,

0:33:58.800 --> 0:34:01.160
<v Speaker 7>but there's one boss that's kind of kept in there

0:34:01.160 --> 0:34:03.760
<v Speaker 7>that he's very very close with, and he got worried

0:34:03.760 --> 0:34:06.120
<v Speaker 7>that that boss is potentially leaving for a job out

0:34:06.160 --> 0:34:09.120
<v Speaker 7>of state, and they've asked him to go if it

0:34:09.160 --> 0:34:13.040
<v Speaker 7>all works out, so he has some big decisions to

0:34:13.120 --> 0:34:15.560
<v Speaker 7>make with that. It wouldn't happen for like four to

0:34:15.640 --> 0:34:18.839
<v Speaker 7>six months even if it did happen. So that's kind

0:34:18.840 --> 0:34:20.839
<v Speaker 7>of a new wrinkle that's been thrown in.

0:34:21.160 --> 0:34:23.600
<v Speaker 2>Well, where would he go because it's already long distance,

0:34:23.640 --> 0:34:24.439
<v Speaker 2>so where would he move?

0:34:24.520 --> 0:34:26.359
<v Speaker 7>Well, long distance Now, it's only about forty five minutes

0:34:26.400 --> 0:34:28.640
<v Speaker 7>to an hour, so it's not bad. It's definitely cable

0:34:28.680 --> 0:34:30.680
<v Speaker 7>to see each other a couple times a week at least,

0:34:30.719 --> 0:34:32.680
<v Speaker 7>but this would be five hours away.

0:34:33.160 --> 0:34:35.920
<v Speaker 2>Uh huh okay, Well that's so manageable. I mean, listen,

0:34:36.080 --> 0:34:38.080
<v Speaker 2>that's a gift sometimes to distance.

0:34:38.880 --> 0:34:39.239
<v Speaker 4>It is.

0:34:39.560 --> 0:34:44.680
<v Speaker 2>I mean, every relationship that I know that's successful is

0:34:44.719 --> 0:34:49.479
<v Speaker 2>because the two people are traveling extensively. So please don't

0:34:49.880 --> 0:34:52.440
<v Speaker 2>use that as like our reason to not be with someone.

0:34:52.560 --> 0:34:55.120
<v Speaker 2>It's very good to have space and to have someone

0:34:55.160 --> 0:34:55.759
<v Speaker 2>five hours away.

0:34:55.760 --> 0:34:57.880
<v Speaker 1>It is no big deal. That's an hour flight, or

0:34:57.920 --> 0:34:58.959
<v Speaker 1>do you mean a five hour flight?

0:34:59.239 --> 0:35:01.480
<v Speaker 7>It's a five hours but it's in the middle of nowhere,

0:35:01.520 --> 0:35:02.719
<v Speaker 7>so there is no direct.

0:35:02.520 --> 0:35:04.800
<v Speaker 1>Flight or well you could parachute in.

0:35:04.960 --> 0:35:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Don't worry about that, right, Yeah, I wouldn't worry about

0:35:07.160 --> 0:35:10.160
<v Speaker 2>those problems until they arise and they're actually concrete, and

0:35:10.239 --> 0:35:12.319
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't consider it a problem, you know what I mean,

0:35:12.480 --> 0:35:16.440
<v Speaker 2>Just kind of like reframe everything you're talking about. The

0:35:16.480 --> 0:35:18.880
<v Speaker 2>fact that you guys had this conversation a month in

0:35:19.360 --> 0:35:23.760
<v Speaker 2>means that this guy is responsible, is respectful, and actually

0:35:23.880 --> 0:35:26.440
<v Speaker 2>cares about you, right, I mean, he told you everything

0:35:26.440 --> 0:35:28.440
<v Speaker 2>he needed to tell you before anything happened.

0:35:28.760 --> 0:35:30.120
<v Speaker 1>The risk sounds very low.

0:35:30.160 --> 0:35:32.640
<v Speaker 2>Obviously, I'm not going to give you any medical advice

0:35:32.680 --> 0:35:34.440
<v Speaker 2>because I'm not a doctor, even though I want to be,

0:35:34.560 --> 0:35:38.200
<v Speaker 2>and I love medications and pills and I love giving advice.

0:35:38.200 --> 0:35:39.680
<v Speaker 1>But I don't want to be responsible for that.

0:35:39.760 --> 0:35:42.359
<v Speaker 2>But I just as a gut I think, I think

0:35:42.360 --> 0:35:45.200
<v Speaker 2>you're going to be fine, and I understand all of

0:35:45.200 --> 0:35:47.520
<v Speaker 2>the concerns you have. But we are living at a

0:35:47.560 --> 0:35:50.200
<v Speaker 2>time that is much different than when AIDS came on

0:35:50.200 --> 0:35:52.319
<v Speaker 2>the scene, you know what I mean. This is a

0:35:52.440 --> 0:35:56.960
<v Speaker 2>much different world. People live with it healthfully for decades,

0:35:57.040 --> 0:35:58.560
<v Speaker 2>you know, look at Magic Johnson.

0:35:58.680 --> 0:35:58.839
<v Speaker 4>Look.

0:35:58.960 --> 0:36:01.080
<v Speaker 2>And it's not just wealthy people. I have friends who

0:36:01.120 --> 0:36:05.160
<v Speaker 2>have AIDS or HIV. Well. So yeah, not that you're

0:36:05.200 --> 0:36:07.560
<v Speaker 2>trying to get it, but I'm just saying it's just

0:36:07.640 --> 0:36:10.160
<v Speaker 2>not what it was. So I want you to think

0:36:10.160 --> 0:36:12.120
<v Speaker 2>about it in that in that frame too, because it's

0:36:12.120 --> 0:36:14.000
<v Speaker 2>really important to find somebody that you can trust, that

0:36:14.040 --> 0:36:16.760
<v Speaker 2>you can love, that respects you and the feeling is mutual.

0:36:16.960 --> 0:36:19.920
<v Speaker 2>So I would focus on those issues first and anything

0:36:19.920 --> 0:36:21.080
<v Speaker 2>else you can navigate.

0:36:22.000 --> 0:36:22.640
<v Speaker 4>I appreciate that.

0:36:22.719 --> 0:36:24.680
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, And he says so sweet, and it's been such

0:36:24.680 --> 0:36:26.560
<v Speaker 7>a breath or fresh air, and it's definitely something that

0:36:26.600 --> 0:36:27.520
<v Speaker 7>I want to explore.

0:36:27.600 --> 0:36:29.799
<v Speaker 4>So I really really appreciate all.

0:36:29.680 --> 0:36:32.160
<v Speaker 3>The Yeah, you should explore it, see where it takes you.

0:36:32.239 --> 0:36:35.239
<v Speaker 3>It sounds like a nice beginning to something that even

0:36:35.239 --> 0:36:37.719
<v Speaker 3>though there's a lot of unknowns, you can't miss what's

0:36:37.760 --> 0:36:41.000
<v Speaker 3>meant for you. So if this is something that is

0:36:41.120 --> 0:36:45.239
<v Speaker 3>supposed to be in your life, then everything will unfold

0:36:45.360 --> 0:36:46.840
<v Speaker 3>so that that is possible.

0:36:47.560 --> 0:36:50.640
<v Speaker 4>Right now. That's that's really really great advice. I appreciate it.

0:36:50.760 --> 0:36:52.240
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Well, thank you, Brian.

0:36:53.480 --> 0:36:54.880
<v Speaker 4>You in a month, I'll be at one of your

0:36:54.880 --> 0:36:55.800
<v Speaker 4>shows in Texas.

0:36:55.920 --> 0:36:58.399
<v Speaker 2>Oh go Texas. You're in Texas, well, try to get

0:36:58.400 --> 0:37:00.560
<v Speaker 2>out of there as quickly as are you there?

0:37:02.080 --> 0:37:05.279
<v Speaker 1>All right, thank y'all, all right, thanks for calling in.

0:37:05.640 --> 0:37:10.720
<v Speaker 5>All right, Our next caller is Chris. He says, Dear Chelsea,

0:37:11.320 --> 0:37:14.160
<v Speaker 5>I recently got engaged to my partner after eighteen years.

0:37:14.840 --> 0:37:16.840
<v Speaker 5>Marriage was never a must, and it just felt like

0:37:16.880 --> 0:37:19.160
<v Speaker 5>the right time for us. But our relationship is not

0:37:19.200 --> 0:37:22.160
<v Speaker 5>what my email is about. So when we got engaged,

0:37:22.160 --> 0:37:24.200
<v Speaker 5>I called to tell my mom the news and got

0:37:24.200 --> 0:37:27.400
<v Speaker 5>a less than excited response. To be honest, it was

0:37:27.440 --> 0:37:31.160
<v Speaker 5>exactly the response I expected, so it wasn't a disappointment. However,

0:37:31.280 --> 0:37:34.799
<v Speaker 5>before she even said her lackluster congratulations, the first thing

0:37:34.880 --> 0:37:37.960
<v Speaker 5>she said was, we won't tell your father. This is

0:37:37.960 --> 0:37:40.880
<v Speaker 5>where I need advice. I've never been particularly close to

0:37:40.920 --> 0:37:43.160
<v Speaker 5>my dad, and when I came out, it made a

0:37:43.160 --> 0:37:46.080
<v Speaker 5>not great relationship pretty bad for a few years. I

0:37:46.120 --> 0:37:49.239
<v Speaker 5>didn't come around for a while. While things have improved,

0:37:49.320 --> 0:37:51.520
<v Speaker 5>my being gay and in a relationship is just never

0:37:51.560 --> 0:37:54.640
<v Speaker 5>discussed or talked about. My dad is ninety five years old,

0:37:54.800 --> 0:37:57.439
<v Speaker 5>I'm forty, and my mom says he won't be able

0:37:57.480 --> 0:38:00.080
<v Speaker 5>to handle the news of my engagement, almost implying it

0:38:00.080 --> 0:38:00.640
<v Speaker 5>would kill him.

0:38:00.680 --> 0:38:02.560
<v Speaker 1>Literally. I don't feel.

0:38:02.320 --> 0:38:04.400
<v Speaker 5>Right not telling my dad, and I don't need his

0:38:04.480 --> 0:38:06.120
<v Speaker 5>approval and I'm not looking for him to all of

0:38:06.120 --> 0:38:08.839
<v Speaker 5>a sudden embrace my relationship. But I'm also not going

0:38:08.880 --> 0:38:11.040
<v Speaker 5>to hide my future marriage. How do I handle this?

0:38:11.440 --> 0:38:11.640
<v Speaker 3>Yes?

0:38:12.120 --> 0:38:14.600
<v Speaker 2>Hi, how are you nice to meet you? This is Agricanco,

0:38:14.719 --> 0:38:15.960
<v Speaker 2>our special guest today.

0:38:16.000 --> 0:38:18.640
<v Speaker 3>How are you nice to meet you? How are you good?

0:38:18.760 --> 0:38:19.160
<v Speaker 8>Good?

0:38:19.360 --> 0:38:22.799
<v Speaker 1>Here comes Doug. This is my big black magic Doug.

0:38:23.239 --> 0:38:24.600
<v Speaker 1>Here you goes? Okay.

0:38:24.680 --> 0:38:24.879
<v Speaker 4>Hi.

0:38:24.960 --> 0:38:26.920
<v Speaker 1>So congratulations, by the way.

0:38:27.320 --> 0:38:28.960
<v Speaker 3>So your engagement, that's exciting.

0:38:29.120 --> 0:38:35.040
<v Speaker 2>That's exciting with your partner eighteen years Okay.

0:38:35.719 --> 0:38:41.320
<v Speaker 1>Fantastic, it was time cool geez. Eighteen years and you're forty.

0:38:41.280 --> 0:38:44.879
<v Speaker 2>Ye, so you're twenty two years twenty two years old

0:38:44.920 --> 0:38:46.560
<v Speaker 2>and you're still together college.

0:38:46.600 --> 0:38:47.440
<v Speaker 8>Yeah.

0:38:48.160 --> 0:38:49.319
<v Speaker 1>Is he the same age as you are?

0:38:49.400 --> 0:38:51.200
<v Speaker 8>Oh he's a bit older. He's in his sixties.

0:38:51.640 --> 0:38:56.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh interesting. Okay. So does your mother know him already?

0:38:56.800 --> 0:38:56.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:38:57.000 --> 0:38:57.520
<v Speaker 8>My mom does.

0:38:57.600 --> 0:38:58.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Okay.

0:38:59.040 --> 0:39:02.120
<v Speaker 2>Is she venting you from telling your father or suggesting

0:39:02.480 --> 0:39:04.520
<v Speaker 2>that you not tell your father because of who it is,

0:39:04.680 --> 0:39:06.720
<v Speaker 2>or because of just the fact that you're gay.

0:39:07.120 --> 0:39:09.320
<v Speaker 8>Just the fact that I'm gay? I mean, he knows.

0:39:09.719 --> 0:39:12.640
<v Speaker 9>He's never met my partner, Jeff for a while once.

0:39:12.680 --> 0:39:16.000
<v Speaker 9>He when I first came out. You know, I sort

0:39:16.000 --> 0:39:20.040
<v Speaker 9>of stayed away from the family for several years. Slowly

0:39:20.080 --> 0:39:23.040
<v Speaker 9>I sort of got back in with the family and

0:39:23.640 --> 0:39:27.360
<v Speaker 9>you know, went back to doing some family events. Jeff

0:39:27.400 --> 0:39:31.280
<v Speaker 9>has never met my dad. It's just never not something

0:39:31.360 --> 0:39:34.960
<v Speaker 9>that's talked about. It's just I'm around just to help

0:39:35.080 --> 0:39:37.319
<v Speaker 9>keep the peace. Almost sometimes it seems.

0:39:37.680 --> 0:39:40.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry that that's been your experience. That's pretty disappointing.

0:39:41.000 --> 0:39:44.719
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'm sorry too. That is difficult and challenging and

0:39:44.760 --> 0:39:48.759
<v Speaker 3>I'm sure probably a heavy thing to carry in the

0:39:48.760 --> 0:39:51.960
<v Speaker 3>face of such a celebratory moment. So I'm sorry that

0:39:52.000 --> 0:39:53.360
<v Speaker 3>you're at that crossroads.

0:39:53.719 --> 0:39:56.359
<v Speaker 5>And Chris, I wanted to just drop in here as well.

0:39:56.440 --> 0:39:58.239
<v Speaker 5>Something that came up when we were chatting in our

0:39:58.280 --> 0:40:01.399
<v Speaker 5>pre interview, was that, really you said that your dad

0:40:01.440 --> 0:40:04.280
<v Speaker 5>has sort of softened. He's been saying I love you more, hugging.

0:40:04.520 --> 0:40:05.880
<v Speaker 5>Can you tell us a little bit about that.

0:40:06.160 --> 0:40:09.120
<v Speaker 9>Yeah, he's ninety five, so he's getting up there in age,

0:40:09.239 --> 0:40:11.440
<v Speaker 9>so you know, part of it's just like as he

0:40:11.600 --> 0:40:14.719
<v Speaker 9>just set in his ways, you know, but just over

0:40:14.760 --> 0:40:17.800
<v Speaker 9>the years, you know, whenever I see him and whenever

0:40:17.920 --> 0:40:19.719
<v Speaker 9>you know, me and my siblings when we leave for

0:40:19.840 --> 0:40:24.120
<v Speaker 9>whatever gathering we're at, you know, he's definitely more affectionate. Recently,

0:40:24.280 --> 0:40:26.600
<v Speaker 9>you know, he's saying, I love you, giving a kiss.

0:40:26.640 --> 0:40:30.319
<v Speaker 3>You know it interestingly to me, it's an interesting I

0:40:30.320 --> 0:40:33.600
<v Speaker 3>guess most things tie back to consciousness. But but you know,

0:40:33.840 --> 0:40:36.279
<v Speaker 3>you have to give him grace, you know. And I

0:40:36.280 --> 0:40:40.000
<v Speaker 3>guess my advice to you, or my sort of reflection

0:40:40.120 --> 0:40:43.919
<v Speaker 3>back at you, is, if you've observed a softening him,

0:40:44.440 --> 0:40:47.160
<v Speaker 3>you know, and you've observed this kind of desire to

0:40:47.239 --> 0:40:51.279
<v Speaker 3>connect more, I think you have to recognize what you're

0:40:51.320 --> 0:40:54.480
<v Speaker 3>up against, right, And for somebody who's ninety five years old,

0:40:54.560 --> 0:40:56.480
<v Speaker 3>that's that's not getting up there, that's that's got He's

0:40:56.520 --> 0:40:58.320
<v Speaker 3>already got there, you know what I mean. That's that's

0:40:58.920 --> 0:41:02.160
<v Speaker 3>really really no matter how you cut it, he's coming

0:41:02.160 --> 0:41:04.359
<v Speaker 3>to the end of this part of his experience. And

0:41:04.400 --> 0:41:09.000
<v Speaker 3>so you know, if you feel like sharing this news

0:41:09.040 --> 0:41:12.880
<v Speaker 3>with him is going to cause him any kind of

0:41:13.120 --> 0:41:17.920
<v Speaker 3>pain or exacerbate his suffering or complicate the end of

0:41:17.920 --> 0:41:20.640
<v Speaker 3>his life, then, as his son, even though you clearly

0:41:20.640 --> 0:41:23.920
<v Speaker 3>had a complicated relationship with him, I'm sure that's not

0:41:24.120 --> 0:41:26.600
<v Speaker 3>your motivation here. You don't want to make his life

0:41:26.600 --> 0:41:30.840
<v Speaker 3>any harder. So maybe there's a way to just find

0:41:30.880 --> 0:41:34.480
<v Speaker 3>an intimate moment with him and just say something to

0:41:34.520 --> 0:41:37.040
<v Speaker 3>the effect of, Dad, you know, I know that we've

0:41:37.120 --> 0:41:40.560
<v Speaker 3>never really seen eye to eye on certain aspects of

0:41:40.880 --> 0:41:44.600
<v Speaker 3>who I am. And I understand that you know that

0:41:44.600 --> 0:41:46.640
<v Speaker 3>that doesn't mean you love me any less, but it

0:41:46.760 --> 0:41:49.920
<v Speaker 3>just means that you weren't able to process the reality

0:41:49.960 --> 0:41:52.400
<v Speaker 3>of who I am in the same way. But I

0:41:52.560 --> 0:41:56.640
<v Speaker 3>just want you to know that I am really, really happy.

0:41:57.200 --> 0:41:58.920
<v Speaker 3>You know, like, if there's a way for you to

0:41:58.960 --> 0:42:02.800
<v Speaker 3>communicate to him that this moment in your life where

0:42:03.080 --> 0:42:05.719
<v Speaker 3>you're telling him without telling him, if your mom is

0:42:05.800 --> 0:42:07.719
<v Speaker 3>concerned that you telling him that you're getting married to

0:42:07.719 --> 0:42:10.600
<v Speaker 3>your longtime partner who's never met because he couldn't hold

0:42:10.719 --> 0:42:13.680
<v Speaker 3>space for you to have that experience, is going to

0:42:13.880 --> 0:42:18.000
<v Speaker 3>make his suffering worse, then is there an opportunity for

0:42:18.040 --> 0:42:21.680
<v Speaker 3>you to just tell him what you need him to know,

0:42:22.239 --> 0:42:25.719
<v Speaker 3>which is that he raised a son who is capable

0:42:25.760 --> 0:42:28.680
<v Speaker 3>of love and who is capable of navigating all of

0:42:28.719 --> 0:42:32.480
<v Speaker 3>the challenges and all the obstacles that your father, in

0:42:32.600 --> 0:42:36.920
<v Speaker 3>his limited consciousness, forced upon you, not intentionally and not

0:42:37.040 --> 0:42:40.880
<v Speaker 3>because he wanted to, but because he didn't know any better.

0:42:41.280 --> 0:42:42.759
<v Speaker 3>And now that he's coming to the end of his

0:42:42.840 --> 0:42:46.759
<v Speaker 3>journey with compassion and forgiveness. I think there's a way

0:42:46.800 --> 0:42:49.280
<v Speaker 3>for you to let him know that you don't resent

0:42:49.360 --> 0:42:53.120
<v Speaker 3>him for that, and that he can move on from

0:42:53.160 --> 0:42:56.880
<v Speaker 3>this experience, from his human experience, and know that you

0:42:56.960 --> 0:42:59.680
<v Speaker 3>are happy and safe. And any father wants to know

0:42:59.719 --> 0:43:00.560
<v Speaker 3>that their child.

0:43:01.000 --> 0:43:03.040
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, and I believe he does.

0:43:03.320 --> 0:43:06.680
<v Speaker 2>So that's very beautiful. That is very beautiful, and exactly

0:43:06.840 --> 0:43:09.520
<v Speaker 2>I completely agree. I think there is a way to

0:43:09.560 --> 0:43:12.600
<v Speaker 2>say that. And you know, and I think you're probably

0:43:12.680 --> 0:43:14.680
<v Speaker 2>going to hear what you want to hear when his

0:43:14.800 --> 0:43:17.080
<v Speaker 2>time is up. And if you have the luxury of

0:43:17.120 --> 0:43:20.399
<v Speaker 2>spending you know, a last few days with him, even

0:43:20.400 --> 0:43:23.319
<v Speaker 2>if it's the last few hours with him, hopefully he

0:43:23.880 --> 0:43:27.040
<v Speaker 2>you know, you'll have that opportunity. And I guarantee you, well,

0:43:27.040 --> 0:43:31.160
<v Speaker 2>I don't guarantee you, but I would strongly suspect that

0:43:31.440 --> 0:43:34.239
<v Speaker 2>during that time you're going to have an opportunity to

0:43:34.280 --> 0:43:38.000
<v Speaker 2>share this with him. There is really no rush, right Like,

0:43:38.080 --> 0:43:40.359
<v Speaker 2>it's not an emergency. You don't have to tell him,

0:43:40.480 --> 0:43:43.520
<v Speaker 2>right and you know in those moments or when you

0:43:43.600 --> 0:43:45.439
<v Speaker 2>if there is a moment that happens before that, great,

0:43:45.480 --> 0:43:47.799
<v Speaker 2>but if you know, if it's not until then, then

0:43:47.840 --> 0:43:50.520
<v Speaker 2>that's it. A good opportunity too, and when you're saying goodbye,

0:43:50.600 --> 0:43:52.319
<v Speaker 2>to let him know how happy you are and how

0:43:52.320 --> 0:43:56.759
<v Speaker 2>happy you are to live a fully realized, actualized existence

0:43:56.800 --> 0:43:59.520
<v Speaker 2>where you're not hiding, you know, and you're being who

0:43:59.560 --> 0:44:00.080
<v Speaker 2>you are.

0:44:00.120 --> 0:44:02.279
<v Speaker 1>And there's not a person who doesn't want that for

0:44:02.320 --> 0:44:02.960
<v Speaker 1>their child.

0:44:03.120 --> 0:44:05.640
<v Speaker 5>Right, And that you've found a partner who loves you

0:44:05.680 --> 0:44:07.600
<v Speaker 5>and treats you well, and that you've made a life

0:44:07.680 --> 0:44:08.200
<v Speaker 5>together and.

0:44:08.239 --> 0:44:10.839
<v Speaker 3>You've been together for eighteen years. So this isn't a lark,

0:44:12.760 --> 0:44:12.960
<v Speaker 3>I know.

0:44:13.040 --> 0:44:15.120
<v Speaker 2>I just I'm just so curious how you get how

0:44:15.160 --> 0:44:18.760
<v Speaker 2>you get engaged after eighteen years, Like what happens?

0:44:19.120 --> 0:44:22.240
<v Speaker 9>I just you know, I've been thinking about the last

0:44:22.480 --> 0:44:23.000
<v Speaker 9>year or two.

0:44:23.360 --> 0:44:26.600
<v Speaker 8>Just you know, I just felt it was time we

0:44:26.640 --> 0:44:26.880
<v Speaker 8>took it.

0:44:28.360 --> 0:44:30.920
<v Speaker 3>We're in Pittsburgh, Oh you are, that's where from?

0:44:31.200 --> 0:44:31.399
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:44:31.440 --> 0:44:35.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I know a lazy well I know my fair

0:44:35.760 --> 0:44:39.800
<v Speaker 3>share about you know, stubborn, Dunian, older Pittsburgh. So I

0:44:40.280 --> 0:44:42.480
<v Speaker 3>know what you're up against there, and like I get it.

0:44:42.520 --> 0:44:45.560
<v Speaker 3>You know, that's a tough metocrack. So so just like

0:44:46.040 --> 0:44:48.400
<v Speaker 3>I just think compassion and forgiveness can be your guide

0:44:48.600 --> 0:44:50.919
<v Speaker 3>and that you know you'll find a place with him

0:44:51.040 --> 0:44:55.719
<v Speaker 3>of mutuality and love, because that's that's that's what's there,

0:44:55.800 --> 0:44:57.120
<v Speaker 3>you know, eventually.

0:44:57.360 --> 0:45:01.760
<v Speaker 8>Definitely, Yeah, Yeah, I think it'll I'm hoping it would

0:45:01.760 --> 0:45:04.440
<v Speaker 8>go better than what my mind is thinking it will go.

0:45:04.680 --> 0:45:07.000
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, and I do agree with Chelsea there is

0:45:07.000 --> 0:45:07.719
<v Speaker 3>no rush.

0:45:07.800 --> 0:45:09.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I just know that you're gonna You're gonna have

0:45:09.560 --> 0:45:13.720
<v Speaker 2>the conversation with him at the appropriate time and surrender it.

0:45:13.880 --> 0:45:15.880
<v Speaker 2>Just be like, Okay, I've decided what I'm going to

0:45:15.920 --> 0:45:17.920
<v Speaker 2>do here, Now let me let it go, and then

0:45:17.960 --> 0:45:20.640
<v Speaker 2>when the opportunity arises, take that opportunity.

0:45:21.320 --> 0:45:21.480
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:45:21.560 --> 0:45:24.319
<v Speaker 9>I think the more I think about it, it's more

0:45:24.360 --> 0:45:27.320
<v Speaker 9>for me than it really is for him.

0:45:27.480 --> 0:45:30.160
<v Speaker 8>I think too. No, I mean, he knows, but he

0:45:30.200 --> 0:45:31.360
<v Speaker 8>doesn't know the extent of it.

0:45:31.440 --> 0:45:34.360
<v Speaker 3>Maybe it's hard in families when you have open secrets,

0:45:34.480 --> 0:45:36.799
<v Speaker 3>you know, it's a difficult thing to navigate because it's

0:45:36.840 --> 0:45:41.239
<v Speaker 3>such a oh, it's such an unfortunate byproduct of trauma, right,

0:45:41.280 --> 0:45:43.360
<v Speaker 3>like open secrets, Like that's the worst.

0:45:43.560 --> 0:45:43.759
<v Speaker 4>Right.

0:45:43.880 --> 0:45:45.920
<v Speaker 3>So he knows, but he doesn't know, or he knows

0:45:45.920 --> 0:45:48.759
<v Speaker 3>but he won't acknowledge it or something. So yeah, And

0:45:49.080 --> 0:45:51.720
<v Speaker 3>I also recognize as a gay man myself, I also

0:45:51.800 --> 0:45:54.760
<v Speaker 3>recognize your position, which is like, I shouldn't have to hide,

0:45:55.080 --> 0:45:59.080
<v Speaker 3>I shouldn't have to sublimate my love to please this person.

0:45:59.520 --> 0:46:02.919
<v Speaker 3>But there is that you know, he did the best

0:46:02.920 --> 0:46:06.400
<v Speaker 3>he could and it wasn't good enough, and I'm sorry

0:46:06.400 --> 0:46:09.960
<v Speaker 3>that it wasn't good enough for you. You you deserve better.

0:46:10.239 --> 0:46:13.080
<v Speaker 3>But it sounds like you've found better. It sounds like

0:46:13.160 --> 0:46:17.400
<v Speaker 3>you've created better for yourself. You've evolved beyond the limitations

0:46:17.440 --> 0:46:19.480
<v Speaker 3>of what he provided for you or your you know,

0:46:19.480 --> 0:46:22.320
<v Speaker 3>your family of origin provided for you, and so now

0:46:22.360 --> 0:46:27.160
<v Speaker 3>you have the opportunity to, from that place of expansion,

0:46:27.840 --> 0:46:32.279
<v Speaker 3>embrace his limited point of view and let him know

0:46:32.640 --> 0:46:37.399
<v Speaker 3>that it doesn't diminish your appreciation for him. Your love

0:46:37.440 --> 0:46:40.560
<v Speaker 3>for him and the person that you are today is

0:46:40.600 --> 0:46:45.440
<v Speaker 3>informed at least partially and certainly significantly by him, and

0:46:45.520 --> 0:46:48.280
<v Speaker 3>so there is gratitude there. And how can you focus

0:46:48.280 --> 0:46:50.000
<v Speaker 3>on that now that he's in the very you know,

0:46:50.040 --> 0:46:51.759
<v Speaker 3>the last chapter of his experience.

0:46:52.320 --> 0:46:55.319
<v Speaker 9>No, I agree, I agree, So I would definitely be

0:46:55.360 --> 0:46:57.960
<v Speaker 9>having this conversation and for the best.

0:46:58.080 --> 0:47:00.640
<v Speaker 2>And also framing everything in the right pace way, like

0:47:00.760 --> 0:47:02.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, what you said is important. This is more

0:47:03.000 --> 0:47:04.920
<v Speaker 2>for me than for him, So take that back and

0:47:04.960 --> 0:47:07.200
<v Speaker 2>think about that, because if it is more for you,

0:47:07.239 --> 0:47:09.120
<v Speaker 2>then hold on to it for a little bit.

0:47:09.600 --> 0:47:12.400
<v Speaker 1>Okay, and thanks for calling it. Yeah, thanks, great to

0:47:12.440 --> 0:47:12.799
<v Speaker 1>meet you.

0:47:12.960 --> 0:47:13.720
<v Speaker 3>I have a good one.

0:47:13.840 --> 0:47:17.399
<v Speaker 1>Thanks Chris, Bye bye. Okay, do we have to take

0:47:17.400 --> 0:47:18.680
<v Speaker 1>a break and come back to wrap it up?

0:47:18.680 --> 0:47:20.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay, We're going to take a break and come back,

0:47:24.320 --> 0:47:26.560
<v Speaker 2>and we're back with Zachary Quintop.

0:47:26.960 --> 0:47:28.359
<v Speaker 1>Zachary, I have a question about your show.

0:47:28.560 --> 0:47:31.040
<v Speaker 2>So your character is gay in the show, and Oliver

0:47:31.120 --> 0:47:32.000
<v Speaker 2>Sacks was he?

0:47:32.000 --> 0:47:32.600
<v Speaker 1>He wasn't gay?

0:47:32.719 --> 0:47:33.839
<v Speaker 3>Was he? Yeah? He was?

0:47:34.200 --> 0:47:34.359
<v Speaker 1>Oh?

0:47:34.400 --> 0:47:35.160
<v Speaker 3>He was? Oh?

0:47:35.239 --> 0:47:37.799
<v Speaker 2>Oh, okay, So then I guess I don't know if it

0:47:37.840 --> 0:47:40.040
<v Speaker 2>was also So that was a request that you made.

0:47:40.239 --> 0:47:42.960
<v Speaker 3>No, No, Oliver Sacks was a gay man who was

0:47:43.080 --> 0:47:47.200
<v Speaker 3>celibate for thirty five years of his life, and that

0:47:47.400 --> 0:47:51.359
<v Speaker 3>was a real roadblock for me in terms of understanding

0:47:51.680 --> 0:47:55.160
<v Speaker 3>the character. I couldn't fathom when I first was presented

0:47:55.200 --> 0:47:57.680
<v Speaker 3>with that fact how someone could make a choice like that,

0:47:57.760 --> 0:47:59.279
<v Speaker 3>or why someone make a choice like that. And then

0:47:59.320 --> 0:48:02.200
<v Speaker 3>the more I did it, the more I realized that

0:48:02.920 --> 0:48:06.319
<v Speaker 3>he recognized that if he came out in his day

0:48:06.360 --> 0:48:08.440
<v Speaker 3>and age, and you know, he lived and worked in

0:48:08.440 --> 0:48:11.000
<v Speaker 3>the middle of the twentieth century, mostly the seventies, eighties

0:48:11.000 --> 0:48:12.880
<v Speaker 3>and nine dais and he died in twenty fifteen at

0:48:12.880 --> 0:48:15.640
<v Speaker 3>the age of eighty three. So, you know, had he

0:48:15.719 --> 0:48:18.920
<v Speaker 3>come out, he would have been defined by that aspect

0:48:18.920 --> 0:48:21.640
<v Speaker 3>of who he was, right, he would have been diminished

0:48:21.680 --> 0:48:25.200
<v Speaker 3>in his capacity to make the contributions to the field

0:48:25.239 --> 0:48:28.279
<v Speaker 3>of neurology that he was singularly designed to make. And

0:48:28.320 --> 0:48:32.879
<v Speaker 3>so he chose to separate himself, to divorce himself from

0:48:32.920 --> 0:48:36.279
<v Speaker 3>that part of who he was, and to compartmentalize and

0:48:36.360 --> 0:48:39.479
<v Speaker 3>split off from that part of his identity in order

0:48:39.560 --> 0:48:42.160
<v Speaker 3>to be able to serve his patients and make the

0:48:42.239 --> 0:48:46.480
<v Speaker 3>incredible and indelible mark on a medicine that he was

0:48:46.520 --> 0:48:50.160
<v Speaker 3>able to make. Thankfully, late in his life he came

0:48:50.200 --> 0:48:52.040
<v Speaker 3>to terms with his sexuality and he came out, and

0:48:52.080 --> 0:48:54.759
<v Speaker 3>he was in a relationship for the last decade or

0:48:54.760 --> 0:48:57.480
<v Speaker 3>so of his life with a very loving partner, and

0:48:57.640 --> 0:49:00.040
<v Speaker 3>he found his way to that. But you know, so

0:49:00.440 --> 0:49:03.400
<v Speaker 3>my character on the show is gay. It's the first

0:49:03.440 --> 0:49:07.279
<v Speaker 3>openly gay lead of a primetime network medical drama, A

0:49:07.920 --> 0:49:10.840
<v Speaker 3>big deal in that way. But it's a big deal

0:49:10.960 --> 0:49:13.239
<v Speaker 3>because it's not a big deal, right, It's a big deal,

0:49:13.280 --> 0:49:14.920
<v Speaker 3>because we live in a world, and I live in

0:49:14.920 --> 0:49:17.200
<v Speaker 3>a world as an openly gay actor where that aspect

0:49:17.280 --> 0:49:21.279
<v Speaker 3>of my personality, of my identity is only one of

0:49:21.360 --> 0:49:24.040
<v Speaker 3>many aspects of the identity that I moved through the

0:49:24.080 --> 0:49:30.640
<v Speaker 3>world with, and I benefited from the sacrifices of people

0:49:30.680 --> 0:49:35.080
<v Speaker 3>like Oliver Sacks who didn't have that same opportunity. So

0:49:35.120 --> 0:49:39.520
<v Speaker 3>there is some really wonderful through line in that narrative

0:49:39.719 --> 0:49:42.640
<v Speaker 3>right between the life that Oliver Sacks lived, the life

0:49:42.680 --> 0:49:45.799
<v Speaker 3>that the character I play, Oliver Wolf lives, and the

0:49:45.840 --> 0:49:48.319
<v Speaker 3>life that I live, you know, as an actor and

0:49:48.640 --> 0:49:51.319
<v Speaker 3>as a person in this modern day. So I feel

0:49:51.360 --> 0:49:52.000
<v Speaker 3>grateful for that.

0:49:52.320 --> 0:49:54.080
<v Speaker 1>Was there ever a time in your career that you

0:49:54.160 --> 0:49:54.800
<v Speaker 1>weren't out?

0:49:55.280 --> 0:49:58.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean I didn't come out until twenty eleven.

0:49:59.160 --> 0:50:01.960
<v Speaker 3>I started working. I mean, Heroes was the show that

0:50:02.040 --> 0:50:05.759
<v Speaker 3>really changed my life my career. People started to know

0:50:05.960 --> 0:50:09.840
<v Speaker 3>me in two thousand and six. So it was the

0:50:09.880 --> 0:50:13.160
<v Speaker 3>end of two thousand and six that I became a

0:50:13.360 --> 0:50:16.120
<v Speaker 3>known quantity, right like that, I ever had to deal

0:50:16.160 --> 0:50:19.000
<v Speaker 3>with the idea of what being famous was. And then

0:50:19.040 --> 0:50:21.080
<v Speaker 3>it was five years later that I came around public.

0:50:21.200 --> 0:50:22.880
<v Speaker 3>So there was a five year period of time where

0:50:23.160 --> 0:50:25.919
<v Speaker 3>I was out in my life and people who knew

0:50:25.960 --> 0:50:27.880
<v Speaker 3>me knew I was gay, but I never spoke of

0:50:27.920 --> 0:50:29.720
<v Speaker 3>it publicly until twenty eleven.

0:50:30.040 --> 0:50:31.000
<v Speaker 1>And how did that feel?

0:50:31.560 --> 0:50:34.160
<v Speaker 3>Well, that was one of the most liberating experiences that

0:50:34.200 --> 0:50:37.000
<v Speaker 3>I've ever had. I made the decision to come out

0:50:37.040 --> 0:50:39.040
<v Speaker 3>on my own. I didn't tell anybody. I didn't tell

0:50:39.080 --> 0:50:41.000
<v Speaker 3>my publicists. I didn't tell my agents or my manager,

0:50:41.000 --> 0:50:42.480
<v Speaker 3>anybody that I worked with. I didn't tell anybody in

0:50:42.560 --> 0:50:45.359
<v Speaker 3>my life, my boyfriend at the time, my family. I

0:50:45.480 --> 0:50:48.239
<v Speaker 3>just gave an interview and I referred to myself as

0:50:48.280 --> 0:50:51.120
<v Speaker 3>a gay man twice within the interview, so that I

0:50:51.239 --> 0:50:52.840
<v Speaker 3>put you a fine point on it in case they

0:50:52.880 --> 0:50:55.799
<v Speaker 3>missed it the first time. And that to me was

0:50:56.800 --> 0:50:58.760
<v Speaker 3>I did it in my own time, on my own terms.

0:50:58.760 --> 0:51:01.359
<v Speaker 3>I didn't seek advice or councilor you know. It wasn't

0:51:01.360 --> 0:51:04.359
<v Speaker 3>a decision by committee. It was a decision that I

0:51:04.440 --> 0:51:08.920
<v Speaker 3>made myself, and so I was able to hold that

0:51:09.040 --> 0:51:11.759
<v Speaker 3>decision for whatever it ended up, you know, whatever the

0:51:12.520 --> 0:51:14.880
<v Speaker 3>reaction to it was, it was my decision, you know,

0:51:15.360 --> 0:51:16.800
<v Speaker 3>And so that felt really liberating.

0:51:17.360 --> 0:51:20.279
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I love that. I love that. Well, thank you

0:51:20.320 --> 0:51:21.280
<v Speaker 1>for being with us today.

0:51:21.320 --> 0:51:24.440
<v Speaker 2>You guys, everybody, you can watch this wonderful human being

0:51:24.600 --> 0:51:27.400
<v Speaker 2>on his show on Peacock on the Peacock Network. I

0:51:27.400 --> 0:51:29.640
<v Speaker 2>think they want you to call it the Peacock.

0:51:29.680 --> 0:51:32.359
<v Speaker 3>I don't. It's on NBC on Monday nights at ten

0:51:32.440 --> 0:51:34.560
<v Speaker 3>pm for people who watch TV in real time, and

0:51:34.600 --> 0:51:37.600
<v Speaker 3>then it streams on Peacock on the Peacock the next.

0:51:37.440 --> 0:51:39.399
<v Speaker 1>Day, probably way off.

0:51:39.960 --> 0:51:46.800
<v Speaker 3>I think it might just be I'm.

0:51:44.200 --> 0:51:48.080
<v Speaker 2>Getting confused with all the different platforms and their names.

0:51:48.480 --> 0:51:52.000
<v Speaker 3>Is It's very good. It will be something different tomorrow.

0:51:52.239 --> 0:51:53.840
<v Speaker 1>And I hope I get to see you in person

0:51:53.920 --> 0:51:55.440
<v Speaker 1>sometime soon, Zachary.

0:51:55.080 --> 0:51:57.279
<v Speaker 3>I was just about to say that very thing. It

0:51:57.360 --> 0:51:59.520
<v Speaker 3>is always good to connect with you. You know, I really

0:51:59.560 --> 0:52:02.879
<v Speaker 3>admire you, respect you and appreciate you and like you,

0:52:03.560 --> 0:52:05.520
<v Speaker 3>and I hope we can have a meal and you know,

0:52:05.600 --> 0:52:07.640
<v Speaker 3>like see each other outside of this context at some point.

0:52:07.680 --> 0:52:10.480
<v Speaker 3>I'm in New York. I'm doing a play here this

0:52:10.680 --> 0:52:13.600
<v Speaker 3>fall from the end of November until February. If you're

0:52:13.640 --> 0:52:15.439
<v Speaker 3>in New York, please come to see my play called

0:52:15.440 --> 0:52:18.680
<v Speaker 3>Culton Love at the Helen Hayes Theater on Broadway. And

0:52:18.719 --> 0:52:20.400
<v Speaker 3>if you come, let me know and we can go

0:52:20.440 --> 0:52:20.799
<v Speaker 3>it after.

0:52:21.880 --> 0:52:23.959
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm going to write that down right now. Cult

0:52:23.960 --> 0:52:24.239
<v Speaker 1>of Love.

0:52:24.360 --> 0:52:26.560
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, come see it. It's really I'm really excited.

0:52:26.560 --> 0:52:28.600
<v Speaker 1>I would love to be good. Okay, Okay, it was

0:52:28.640 --> 0:52:29.520
<v Speaker 1>such a pleasure to see.

0:52:29.840 --> 0:52:31.840
<v Speaker 3>So good to see you both. Have a good day YouTube.

0:52:31.920 --> 0:52:32.680
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much.

0:52:33.320 --> 0:52:34.120
<v Speaker 3>You well. Thanks.

0:52:35.120 --> 0:52:38.279
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So upcoming shows that I have you guys, I'm

0:52:38.280 --> 0:52:40.960
<v Speaker 2>coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint Louis and Kansas City,

0:52:41.200 --> 0:52:44.200
<v Speaker 2>and then I will be in Las Vegas performing at

0:52:44.239 --> 0:52:46.720
<v Speaker 2>the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel.

0:52:46.920 --> 0:52:47.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm coming to.

0:52:47.640 --> 0:52:52.240
<v Speaker 2>Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November eighth,

0:52:52.280 --> 0:52:55.399
<v Speaker 2>and I have tickets on sale throughout the end of

0:52:55.440 --> 0:52:58.480
<v Speaker 2>the year in December, So if you're in a city

0:52:59.000 --> 0:53:02.960
<v Speaker 2>like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans

0:53:03.280 --> 0:53:06.120
<v Speaker 2>or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.

0:53:06.400 --> 0:53:06.720
<v Speaker 1>Okay.

0:53:07.120 --> 0:53:09.520
<v Speaker 5>If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

0:53:09.560 --> 0:53:12.400
<v Speaker 5>at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

0:53:12.440 --> 0:53:15.480
<v Speaker 5>sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

0:53:15.480 --> 0:53:19.120
<v Speaker 5>and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and

0:53:19.200 --> 0:53:21.640
<v Speaker 5>be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

0:53:21.640 --> 0:53:24.759
<v Speaker 5>com