Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you.
Speaker 2: I feeling fresh as a daisy, I mean, and I'm
Speaker 2: in a really really positive space.
Speaker 1: I had a positive mood.
Speaker 2: I've been reading like a little chapter from Letting Go
Speaker 2: every morning just to make sure I had my head
Speaker 2: on straight, along with my meditation and my gratitude.
Speaker 1: And I mean that takes a long time.
Speaker 2: Actually, every morning I have to like get ready, like
Speaker 2: and it takes like an hour, but it's worth it
Speaker 2: because it puts my head on straight. I had a
Speaker 2: lot of crazy little things this weekend, and I just
Speaker 2: chose not to let any of them deter me and
Speaker 2: stay positive and vibrant and high. And I was there
Speaker 2: was a man sitting next to me on a plane
Speaker 2: and could have gone either way. It really could have
Speaker 2: gone south, and I made sure that it did not
Speaker 2: good And luckily I had a huge set of headphones
Speaker 2: on me.
Speaker 1: Excellent, just tune everybody out, and just tune everybody out
Speaker 1: and just keep the vibes high.
Speaker 2: Oh, and then people were recommending me to read this
Speaker 2: other book, Power Versus Force, which is really about physics
Speaker 2: and quantum physics and which is really like I've never
Speaker 2: read anything like that, and I'm into it because, yeah,
Speaker 2: it kind of explains your energy field and why there
Speaker 2: is energy coming off of everything, and like its relation
Speaker 2: to kinesiology, you know how like if you're around something
Speaker 2: that's not good for you, like say artificial sweeteners or something,
Speaker 2: and they press your arm down on what, like, your
Speaker 2: arm will have less strength than it. And I once
Speaker 2: went to this spa in Salzburg, Switzerland, or maybe it
Speaker 2: was ober Salzburg, I don't know, I don't know, somewhere
Speaker 2: where Hitler came from. And I and they did a
Speaker 2: lot of kinesiology testing there. They figure out what you're
Speaker 2: allergic to, so they put like dander on your leg
Speaker 2: and then then you do a strength test and if
Speaker 2: you are strong, you're not allergic to dander, if you're
Speaker 2: weak when it's on there, And it's pretty fascinating when
Speaker 2: you see that because you like shows your allergies right away.
Speaker 2: But all that stuff is like so hard to measure,
Speaker 2: so like it's scientific. Yet people are a little bit
Speaker 2: resistant to that philosophy because they don't see it as
Speaker 2: easily measured. But anyway, I also had a Celsius this morning,
Speaker 2: so they are out of my little energy packets from Keani.
Speaker 2: They had me made these little natural guarana energy packets
Speaker 2: because I don't drink coffee, so I would take those
Speaker 2: every morning when i'd wake up, and they discontinued them. No,
Speaker 2: so I had a Celsius on my way to Ben
Speaker 2: Bruno this morning. No, you're really rocking, So now I'm
Speaker 2: fucking out of my tree. Yeah, Indianapolis, Saint Louis, and
Speaker 2: Kansas City this weekend. And if you haven't gotten your
Speaker 2: tickets yet, I don't even even know what to say
Speaker 2: to you.
Speaker 1: All right, should we introduce the guest? Yes, I'm so
Speaker 1: excited to talk to him. I haven't seen him in years,
Speaker 1: but I've seen him on TV. Now, please welcome Zachary Quinto.
Speaker 3: Hi, Kutie, how are you?
Speaker 1: I was so you know what, I was so excited.
Speaker 2: I don't really care when people actually come to my
Speaker 2: house or not for podcast purposes, as long as I
Speaker 2: don't really have to go far.
Speaker 1: But I was kind of looking.
Speaker 2: Forward to giving you a big hug with your masculine
Speaker 2: with your big, hot, masculine body.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen you in so long.
Speaker 3: A long time. I was thinking today as well, how
Speaker 3: much I was looking forward to connecting with you. It's
Speaker 3: nice to see you again.
Speaker 2: You know what I did something so embarrassing, but of
Speaker 2: course I know. I can tell you. I was at
Speaker 2: this restaurant in Santa Mona and I saw Zachary Levi
Speaker 2: and I was talking to him like it was you
Speaker 2: until halfway through the real conversation he said, are you
Speaker 2: seeing anyone now? And I don't remember what he said,
Speaker 2: but he intimated somehow. He was, you know, seeing a
Speaker 2: woman and I was like a woman.
Speaker 1: He said, what are you?
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? He said, what are you
Speaker 2: talking about? And then I was like, this is not
Speaker 2: who I think it is.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 2: So it's like I have the condition that you have
Speaker 2: on your show. Mind yeah, r pro subpagno show. That
Speaker 2: sounds like a word I want to add to my
Speaker 2: reports one.
Speaker 3: It's a real well, it's a good out in situations
Speaker 3: like that. I'm so sorry, exactly like I suffered from
Speaker 3: pressy pagnosia. I thought you were someone else. That is
Speaker 3: a good a good way to exit the awkward situation
Speaker 3: if you have to.
Speaker 1: And what is it called? What is the layman term
Speaker 1: for that?
Speaker 3: Face blindness?
Speaker 2: Face blindness which your character on your show brilliant minds,
Speaker 2: which is fucking awesome. By the way, I just watched
Speaker 2: three episodes. Wow, you had me working out for three
Speaker 2: hours this morning.
Speaker 3: Because I was like, he looks so amazing. I'll take
Speaker 3: all the.
Speaker 1: Credit and that I'll play the next one.
Speaker 2: But that's a great show on Peacock that I didn't
Speaker 2: know about and now I know about, and we need
Speaker 2: to tell everybody that doesn't know about it how great
Speaker 2: it is.
Speaker 1: Because first of all, I love a procedural, don't you too.
Speaker 1: Absolutely I love.
Speaker 2: And I love the premise, and I love a doctor
Speaker 2: for good, taking chances, taking risks for the good of
Speaker 2: everybody's because there's obviously a very metaphysical aspect to this pow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, you know the it's based on a real
Speaker 3: life person. I think that's always a good place to
Speaker 3: start when we're talking about brilliant minds. It's based on
Speaker 3: Oliver Sacks. Actually, this is right at my desk. I
Speaker 3: didn't plant that, but he has a book coming out,
Speaker 3: edited by Kate Edgar, who heads the Oliver Sacks Foundation.
Speaker 3: Oliver Sax was a prolific author as well as a
Speaker 3: revolutionary neurologist in the mid twentieth century, and he wrote
Speaker 3: dozens and dozens of books case studies about his patients
Speaker 3: and the man in Musuki's way, his for a hat,
Speaker 3: most notably Awakenings, many many music Ophelia, Anthropologists to Mars,
Speaker 3: and tons of books that hero. He also wrote many
Speaker 3: essays and gave many lectures and speeches. He was an
Speaker 3: incredible man and he was driven by the pursuit of
Speaker 3: understanding who his patients were before they were stricken with
Speaker 3: whatever neurologic condition, disease, disorder, or injury befell them. And
Speaker 3: he was always that was always his north star. The
Speaker 3: engine of his purpose was to find their dignity and
Speaker 3: their sense of personhood within whatever they were struggling with.
Speaker 3: And it set him apart in a lot of ways,
Speaker 3: and he really revolutionized the field of medicine and also
Speaker 3: the field of literature. Right because medicine has become so diagnostic,
Speaker 3: and technology and the advancements of technology for allowed medicine
Speaker 3: to become so diagnostic, we lost the humanity of medicine.
Speaker 3: And Oliver Sacks was somebody who was pretty singularly interested
Speaker 3: in resurrecting the humanity of medicine. And so our show,
Speaker 3: while I don't play all Over Sacks. I play a
Speaker 3: character who is based on him. In every aspect of
Speaker 3: the character that I play is drawn from the actual
Speaker 3: life of all Over Sacks, but the character that I
Speaker 3: play exists in a modern day's story, in a world
Speaker 3: that's taking place right now.
Speaker 2: Getting this role must have really added to your own
Speaker 2: kind of I want to say spirituality, but perhaps there's
Speaker 2: a better word for it, consciousness. Consciousness, Yes, thank you,
Speaker 2: there you go. Consciousness has it, Yes.
Speaker 3: One hundred percent. It's really kind of been amazing for
Speaker 3: me to zoom out and see how all of my
Speaker 3: experiences have brought me to this place. Just the idea of, like,
Speaker 3: where are our journeys take us right? And that at
Speaker 3: this moment, particular moment that I'm playing this role in
Speaker 3: this show and putting this message out into the world,
Speaker 3: there are no mistakes, I find, and I do feel
Speaker 3: like it is a an evolution of where I've been.
Speaker 3: And I think Oliver Sacks and my intersection with him.
Speaker 3: I sadly never got to meet him while he was
Speaker 3: still alive, but my intersection with him in this creative
Speaker 3: way and in this profoundly meaningful way to me is
Speaker 3: something very special and so Oliver Sacks was somebody who
Speaker 3: was really designed to examine the last frontier of the
Speaker 3: human experience, which is the brain, the mind, and consciousness.
Speaker 3: And I know, Chelsea, you know we share this quest
Speaker 3: in our own journeys in individual ways, like you and
Speaker 3: I are both. I think one of the reasons why
Speaker 3: I've always been so drawn to you is, you know,
Speaker 3: we're very similar age and and we I think you're
Speaker 3: just as you're You're curious in a similar way to me.
Speaker 3: And what I've watched of you and read of you
Speaker 3: and know of you, you know you and I kind
Speaker 3: of will never stop digging. And all of our Sacks
Speaker 3: was like that, right, So the excavation, the process of
Speaker 3: excavation of who we are as human beings is something
Speaker 3: that drove him and motivated him. And similarly, I think
Speaker 3: it drives me and motivates me and you too. And
Speaker 3: so it's no mistake that we're all talking about this
Speaker 3: right now, and so in terms of consciousness and where
Speaker 3: we are in consciousness right now, I think it is
Speaker 3: a pivotal moment in our evolution as a civilization as
Speaker 3: a species. And I think all of our Sacks is
Speaker 3: as much a part of that conversation as you and
Speaker 3: I are right now, it's sitting here in.
Speaker 1: The slash yeah, and including everybody.
Speaker 2: Actually it's a world yeah, because I think we were
Speaker 2: just talking about that book Letting Go. I don't know
Speaker 2: if you've read that. Have you ever read that by
Speaker 2: David Hawkins. It's a great book about consciousness.
Speaker 1: But it's just about you know, how leading with love, and.
Speaker 2: Like love really is the answer to everything, Like you know,
Speaker 2: stop resisting, stop fighting, stop arguing, stop being negative, stop
Speaker 2: getting in negative patterns that you can't get out of,
Speaker 2: but you can get out of them. It's never too
Speaker 2: late to get out of your negativity. And like the
Speaker 2: vibes bring the vibes up, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: When you're around somebody and you leave them and you
Speaker 2: feel better after having seen them, that's because they have
Speaker 2: high vibes and then they are infecting you by osmosis
Speaker 2: with their high vibes. And my goal and our goal
Speaker 2: is a plant should obviously be like you know, so
Speaker 2: much love could heal and hate doesn't bring us anything good.
Speaker 1: It just brings us more acrimony.
Speaker 3: I'm so happy to hear you say this, And just
Speaker 3: to piggyback on that. You know, we are living in
Speaker 3: this moment right now. It is such an unprecedented time
Speaker 3: what we're experiencing right now. The ground is shifting beneath
Speaker 3: our feet as we're standing on it. So there's an
Speaker 3: urgent need right now. The urgent need of the time
Speaker 3: right now is for exactly what you're saying, is for
Speaker 3: everybody who has even the faintest inkling of that sensibility
Speaker 3: that you just articulated, to do whatever they can do
Speaker 3: to tune their listening to that vibration and allow that
Speaker 3: vibration to strengthen within them, and then allow that strengthening
Speaker 3: the vibration within them to reverberate in other people that
Speaker 3: will then continue to amplify that out and out and out.
Speaker 3: And what we're witnessing right now, in my estimation, is
Speaker 3: that collectively, we have decided to focus on the wrong
Speaker 3: things and all of this attention. If you look at
Speaker 3: how it's built and built and built, and it's really
Speaker 3: building to this election, isn't it right? You look at
Speaker 3: how it's built, and I'm not just talking about in
Speaker 3: the United States, but just in terms of you know,
Speaker 3: the broader spectrum, we have created these paradigms that are
Speaker 3: based in the binary one way or the other, right
Speaker 3: or wrong, black and white. I'm on this side, you're
Speaker 3: on that side. When the reality is that those are
Speaker 3: all reactions that are coming from a place of completely
Speaker 3: justifiable and understandable fear. Fear. Fear fear has driven us
Speaker 3: to this place of binary thinking and clinging to the
Speaker 3: constructs that we have all agreed upon for generations are
Speaker 3: going to be the foundation of how we relate to
Speaker 3: one another, and how we see one another, and how
Speaker 3: we sink of one another. But when we really zoom
Speaker 3: out and consider what we are up against and what
Speaker 3: we are now not about to, but what we are
Speaker 3: now entering into moving forward, right, the existential crises that
Speaker 3: present themselves to us, namely, and there are many, I
Speaker 3: don't need to name them all, but namely climate change
Speaker 3: and artificial intelligence. Let's just start there. Climate change, we're
Speaker 3: already seeing. It's not something that's going to happen. We
Speaker 3: don't have to argue about it. I don't want to
Speaker 3: get into the semantics of the black and white of it.
Speaker 3: Right North Carolina, Florida, in the last two weeks, we
Speaker 3: have seen these unprecedented catastrophic, cataclysmic experiences. They're just the beginning,
Speaker 3: but they are happening at an accelerated rate, they're happening
Speaker 3: more frequently, and they're happening in more anomalous situations, like
Speaker 3: in the mountains of North Carolina, where they shouldn't be happening. Right, So,
Speaker 3: if we take this as the harbinger of what's to come,
Speaker 3: we recognize that within the next ten to fifteen, certainly
Speaker 3: twenty years, the kinds of mass migrations that we're going
Speaker 3: to see on the planet. Right, the tens of millions
Speaker 3: of people who are going to have to move from
Speaker 3: place to place because the place that they're in now
Speaker 3: are no longer inhabitable. That's one thing. And then you
Speaker 3: just blow in underneath that artificial intelligence and machine learning.
Speaker 3: We've already invited that into the conversation. We don't know
Speaker 3: what it's capable of, we don't know how fast or
Speaker 3: how dramatically it's going to evolve, but we've already brought
Speaker 3: it into the conversation. So it's already here. People are
Speaker 3: already using chat GPT to write their cover letters, and
Speaker 3: you know, so it's already here. We're divesting ourselves of
Speaker 3: the experience of being human. We're outsourcing the human experience
Speaker 3: to this artificial intelligence, and we have no idea where
Speaker 3: that's going to take us. So collectively we are on
Speaker 3: the precipice of change. We can't either family because if
Speaker 3: you add just those two variables, and there are many others,
Speaker 3: but if you add just those two variables to the equation,
Speaker 3: then we have no idea what the future looks like.
Speaker 3: And so the constructs that we've agreed upon in the
Speaker 3: past are rapidly dissolving. And my feeling is that consciousness
Speaker 3: and the rapid expansion of consciousness is the only way
Speaker 3: that we have any chance of moving forward with success,
Speaker 3: to thrive, or to survive. Even so, for me, it
Speaker 3: is exactly what you're saying, and I think people all
Speaker 3: around the planet right now are feeling it and sensing it,
Speaker 3: and even if they don't know what it is, they're
Speaker 3: tapping into something bigger than themselves, because it's everywhere you look,
Speaker 3: and it is our responsibility to amplify that and bring
Speaker 3: people into the light, just like you're saying. So I'm
Speaker 3: glad to hear you say it. I know I feel
Speaker 3: like I've been talking about seventy some minutes about shutting up.
Speaker 3: But I feel so strongly about it right now, and
Speaker 3: it feels so urgent that we have to talk about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with you. I feel the same way.
Speaker 2: I'm mentent on spreading infecting as many people with kindness
Speaker 2: as I can.
Speaker 3: Do you meditate, yes, I do? Good.
Speaker 1: What kind of meditation do you do?
Speaker 3: I do veading meditation, which is an offshoot of TM.
Speaker 3: So it's the same technique as TM, it's just a
Speaker 3: different community and it's a twice daily practice mantra based.
Speaker 3: What about you.
Speaker 2: I do a Choprah app mostly I do like a
Speaker 2: guided meditation about twenty minutes each morning.
Speaker 3: Right, So Chopra comes from the Vedic world. I mean
Speaker 3: Deepak Chopra is that is the same. We are the
Speaker 3: same in that practice. And I say to anybody who
Speaker 3: has a meditation practice right now and especially for the
Speaker 3: next three weeks before the election, meditation, meditation, meditation, it
Speaker 3: is it is Defcon five, All hands on deck. If
Speaker 3: you have a practice or you know people who have practices,
Speaker 3: now is the time to come to your practice and
Speaker 3: hold space, because not only do we have to hold
Speaker 3: space for our own experiences, we have to be able
Speaker 3: to hold space for the experience of the collective, because
Speaker 3: this is a collective shift of consciousness that's happening right now.
Speaker 3: It's not an individual shift of consciousness. It is happening
Speaker 3: on the individual level, on the micro level. But if
Speaker 3: you zoom out and look at the macro level, you know,
Speaker 3: just think about what we're fighting about right Think about
Speaker 3: what we're fighting about. Think about the Middle East. I
Speaker 3: care not wading into those waters in terms of the politics,
Speaker 3: the history. I have no authority or knowledge to do so. However,
Speaker 3: I will say that it is one of the binaries
Speaker 3: that is the most kind of volatile binaries on the
Speaker 3: planet right now. But if you zoom out, the reality
Speaker 3: is that what we're fighting over is land that will
Speaker 3: be uninhabitable in the next twenty five years by anybody,
Speaker 3: so that the Palestinians and the Jews are going to
Speaker 3: have to shoulder to shoulder walk together to find a
Speaker 3: place where they all can live and survive. So we
Speaker 3: are focusing on the hatred. We're focusing on We no
Speaker 3: longer have the luxury to be defined by the constructs
Speaker 3: that have defined us for the last hundreds of years,
Speaker 3: and generations. You know, we just as a civilization no
Speaker 3: longer have the luxury of being defined by whether we're
Speaker 3: Jewish or Palestinian, or gay or straight, or CIS or trans,
Speaker 3: or black or white. That conversation is over, and how
Speaker 3: we recognize the end of that conversation and evolve that
Speaker 3: conversation into what the new conversation has to be is
Speaker 3: the moment that we're living through right now, and as
Speaker 3: terrifying as it is, it is also profoundly full of
Speaker 3: beauty and possibility and creativity and joy. And that is
Speaker 3: our job to move in that direction and to move
Speaker 3: toward that because we're not going to change anybody's minds.
Speaker 3: We're not going to change anybody. And the reality is
Speaker 3: as well, that you know, the planet can sustain the
Speaker 3: current trajectory of population that that that we're you know,
Speaker 3: barraging it with. So the reality is that things are
Speaker 3: going to shift cataclysmically and they already are. Look at
Speaker 3: the wars, look at the natural disasters around the planet.
Speaker 3: There's nothing we can do to stop that stuff. But
Speaker 3: what we have to do is evolve adapt And you know,
Speaker 3: that's what Oliver Sacks believed. That's why there's no mistake
Speaker 3: that I happen to be, you know, playing this character
Speaker 3: right now at this moment. Think about all the fucking dark, twisted,
Speaker 3: fucked up characters I've played, so you know, and my
Speaker 3: own journey from the dark into the light, and now
Speaker 3: I get to play a role and tell stories and
Speaker 3: put them into the world from a place of evolution
Speaker 3: and adaptation and on my own personal journey, that's been true,
Speaker 3: and I think creatively that's been true, and hopefully collectively
Speaker 3: that will be true as well as we continue to
Speaker 3: move forward.
Speaker 2: This is like a sermon. Oh my god, I loved
Speaker 2: it today, but I know, I mean, look at you.
Speaker 2: I mean, I really couldn't have said it better myself.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 3: I'm glad to hear it. I'm sorry I went on
Speaker 3: a rant, but I've just been thinking about it so much.
Speaker 3: And also, there's no mistake that I'm doing fucking press
Speaker 3: for the Igains. Swear right. It's you. I shouldn't be
Speaker 3: in there, but you know that I'm doing press that
Speaker 3: I have, that I have an opportunity to connect with
Speaker 3: like minded people in this way. And I just knew
Speaker 3: coming into this that you're probably on the same wavelength
Speaker 3: because That's why I've always been drawn to you, even
Speaker 3: before I met you or knew you, and I just
Speaker 3: saw you as someone who is asking the questions, pushing
Speaker 3: the boundaries, you know, not letting yourself off the look,
Speaker 3: digging deeper. And that's what we need. We need to
Speaker 3: reach out to one another and then bring the people
Speaker 3: who are kind of aware of that sensibility, even if
Speaker 3: they haven't completely accessed it themselves along for the journey.
Speaker 3: That is a hat.
Speaker 2: Because the true definition or the true meaning of consciousness
Speaker 2: isn't just being conscious about what's happening in your life.
Speaker 2: It's about having a collected consciousness with the entire world.
Speaker 2: So every single person matters in the same way.
Speaker 1: There aren't people who matter more or less at all.
Speaker 2: And that's where yeah, and so there it does feel
Speaker 2: like a tipping a point, especially if the election goes
Speaker 2: the way that I want it to. I feel like
Speaker 2: that we all want it to that are sitting here today,
Speaker 2: I feel like, you know, then we really do have
Speaker 2: an opportunity to change the world, because you know, climate
Speaker 2: change is at the foot, it's out the door, it's happening.
Speaker 2: And what we need in response to that is not
Speaker 2: more fighting. We need all hands on deck and love
Speaker 2: to receive these people who are not no longer going
Speaker 2: to have a safe place to live, to actually be
Speaker 2: able to help and aid and send aid. You know,
Speaker 2: there are so many things that we're going to have
Speaker 2: to deal with. Can you imagine having additional wars and
Speaker 2: then climate change?
Speaker 1: And you know it's like, let's stop with the wars and.
Speaker 3: Start with the love and water wars and that you know,
Speaker 3: the wars the climate change is going to ignite. Right.
Speaker 3: So the other thing that I think is important to
Speaker 3: kind of bring into this conversation a little bit about
Speaker 3: about evolution is that one essential element of evolution is destruction.
Speaker 3: That's just a simple fact of nature. Creation, maintenance, destruction,
Speaker 3: These three operating forces are always at play in nature.
Speaker 3: And if we consider that as human beings, we are
Speaker 3: individual expressions of nature. If we're if we're operating from
Speaker 3: this place which is scientifically proven, that we are all
Speaker 3: expressions of extensions of one unified field of consciousness. Right.
Speaker 3: This is quantum physics. This is you know, what is
Speaker 3: far beyond my level of intellectual capacity to understand, let
Speaker 3: alone explain, But you know, quantum physics proves the idea
Speaker 3: that all matter comes from one source, which is on
Speaker 3: MENSS and then becomes MENSS. Then we all do come
Speaker 3: from the same place, right, We are all connected in
Speaker 3: ways that we don't even come hand or understand. And
Speaker 3: yet we have lived in a world that for millennia
Speaker 3: has really existed on this idea of individual identity, right,
Speaker 3: personal egoic identity. And now we are confronted with profound
Speaker 3: transformations that no longer allow us to hide behind those constructs. Right,
Speaker 3: those constructs are dissolving, and now we have to accept
Speaker 3: the fact that destruction in many forms is a part
Speaker 3: of progress. And so the election, for example, I think
Speaker 3: represents two very different paths. Are we going to move
Speaker 3: forward with an administration who has some awareness of and
Speaker 3: some understanding of the contexts as it is in a
Speaker 3: larger sense, or are we going to move forward with
Speaker 3: an administration who is completely limited in their ability to
Speaker 3: see what's actually happening and focused on holding on to
Speaker 3: the past, retire turning to something that never will be Well.
Speaker 2: On that note, we're going to take a break and
Speaker 2: we're going to be right back with Zachary Levi. Okay,
Speaker 2: So for Zachary Quinto, for this portion of the show,
Speaker 2: we take callers, and I know that you're excited to
Speaker 2: give advice to some people. You're good at it and
Speaker 2: it's real people, so it's exciting. I find it very
Speaker 2: very what's the word. No, it's more than satisfying and
Speaker 2: me feels meaningful.
Speaker 5: There's connection there, which is just what we've been talking about.
Speaker 5: Oh great, you know this shared consciousness, and now we'll
Speaker 5: share some.
Speaker 2: Conscience, share our consciousness, but we're going to infect some
Speaker 2: more people.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Well, our first question is just an email. This
Speaker 5: comes from Amanda TLDR.
Speaker 1: I don't what does that mean?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 5: Oh it means too long? Didn't read, so it's like
Speaker 5: a summary TLDR. I want to not give a shit
Speaker 5: what other people in my workout bubble look like, so
Speaker 5: I can stop comparing myself to them. As an athletic, healthy,
Speaker 5: forty four year old woman who loves to stay active,
Speaker 5: I've always tried to embrace a positive relationship with my body.
Speaker 5: I'm not trying to look like a twenty something anymore.
Speaker 5: I've always loved the gym, and during COVID I discovered
Speaker 5: the Tracy Anderson method. I've completely fallen for it. I
Speaker 5: practice five to six times a week and truly enjoy
Speaker 5: the process, but constantly being bombarded by this and other
Speaker 5: fitness marketing online can sometimes have a negative impact on
Speaker 5: my self esteem. I often find myself feeling self deprecating
Speaker 5: and critical of my body, especially when I compare myself
Speaker 5: to the trainers and many women who post their workouts
Speaker 5: with their perfect size two bodies and somehow have their
Speaker 5: makeup and hair looking perfect to boot. I often will
Speaker 5: record myself training, but then I see myself and I'm
Speaker 5: mortified and won't post it. It's like a downward spiral.
Speaker 5: I know I shouldn't let these comparisons affect me, especially
Speaker 5: at my age, but I find it challenging to appreciate
Speaker 5: my body and health when I'm bombarded with unrealistic standards.
Speaker 5: It's gotten so much worse in my forties. I'm a
Speaker 5: grown ass, smart, educated woman. Why do I let this
Speaker 5: bother me? And how can I stop comparing myself to
Speaker 5: picture perfect bodies? I just want to feel happier about
Speaker 5: my own body. Warmly, Amanda, I don't know what do
Speaker 5: you think.
Speaker 3: You're very You're very active. I've seen you many a
Speaker 3: mountain side.
Speaker 1: Yes, I would say on the subject of letting go.
Speaker 1: Let it go.
Speaker 2: If looking at other videos and fitness videos or people
Speaker 2: in your class posting or looking at them while you're
Speaker 2: working out, if those things bother you.
Speaker 1: Focus on yourself. Just focus on yourself.
Speaker 2: Everybody has these feelings that you're talking about, but it's
Speaker 2: up to you to like cut the cord of comparison.
Speaker 2: Like that's why I don't spend five hours a day
Speaker 2: online looking at people's Instagram.
Speaker 1: That's because it's bad for you. It's bad to compare.
Speaker 3: What is it.
Speaker 2: Comparison is the beef of joy. Comparison is the thief
Speaker 2: of joy. That's the latest quote that's been going around
Speaker 2: that I heard, and it is so true. It is
Speaker 2: that is not your body. That is not your problem.
Speaker 2: You're here problem and you can either make yourself victorious
Speaker 2: or you could make yourself a problem.
Speaker 1: So the fact I would say that you're working out five.
Speaker 2: To six times a day doing I've done that workout before,
Speaker 2: that's not easy. You should be celebratory of the fact
Speaker 2: that you are doing the best that you can do
Speaker 2: and stop comparing yourself to other people.
Speaker 1: That is a losing scenario.
Speaker 2: So write something down on your fridge or your mirror
Speaker 2: or wherever you look at the most and say, comparison
Speaker 2: is the thief of joy.
Speaker 1: Write that down. That's all you need to know, and
Speaker 1: imprint it on your mind.
Speaker 2: And you know, once you read something enough times, you
Speaker 2: don't need to see it every single day. You remember
Speaker 2: when you wake up, you know, and then it becomes
Speaker 2: part of who you are, because yeah, I just don't
Speaker 2: think there's any You don't get any benefit from depleting
Speaker 2: yourself of the pride that you have earned from going
Speaker 2: and working out to make yourself feel better every single day?
Speaker 1: Why are you letting anyone take that away from you?
Speaker 3: And I would also only just say that you know
Speaker 3: this difference between where are you looking for your sense
Speaker 3: of self? Where are you looking for your sense of
Speaker 3: validation and purpose and meaning in the world? Are you
Speaker 3: looking outside of yourself for that? So you're looking to
Speaker 3: import that feeling from people's reactions to you, like oh
Speaker 3: my god, you look so good, or you know you
Speaker 3: lost so much weight, or you look so skinny, so
Speaker 3: then you feel better about yourself. Well, that's importing that
Speaker 3: feeling from somewhere else, as opposed to allowing the discipline,
Speaker 3: the commitment, the endorphins, the progress that you're making in
Speaker 3: your own life to be the source of your fulfillment,
Speaker 3: which you can then radiate and export out to the world.
Speaker 3: So this difference between importing a sense of validation and
Speaker 3: exporting a sense of validation. When you're importing a sense
Speaker 3: of validation, you need to keep looking for it. You
Speaker 3: need to keep looking for it from other people. You
Speaker 3: need to keep looking for it from you know, is
Speaker 3: it comparison, is it I'm successful, i am in love,
Speaker 3: I'm whatever. So you're looking for it somewhere else, and
Speaker 3: then it's unsustainable. But if you're able to gift that
Speaker 3: focus and recognize that what you're doing by committing to
Speaker 3: your own well being, committing as a forty four year
Speaker 3: old woman, I think she said to, you know, embracing
Speaker 3: life and staying active and keeping your body engaged, that's
Speaker 3: more than ninety five percent of the people on the
Speaker 3: planet are doing. So shift your focus to recognize how
Speaker 3: wonderful that is, what a generous thing you're doing for
Speaker 3: yourself right, and then you can, hopefully, you know, focus
Speaker 3: that energy on yourself and then cultivate a place from
Speaker 3: which that gratitude and that pride, that well deserved self
Speaker 3: directed pride can then be something that other people see
Speaker 3: in you and recognize as something that inspires them. Then
Speaker 3: you're magnetizing people into your experience who are drawn to
Speaker 3: you because you have generated this light that brings them in,
Speaker 3: not because you're looking for other people to shine their
Speaker 3: lead on you to make you feel better.
Speaker 5: Right, it doesn't matter how bang your body is, if
Speaker 5: your vibration is low.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Or it doesn't matter how better of your body is,
Speaker 3: if all you care about is that other people see
Speaker 3: that or feel that way.
Speaker 2: See, yeah, exactly exactly. But I love what you just
Speaker 2: said because it's you know you can. You can attract
Speaker 2: people on so many different levels and in so many
Speaker 2: different ways. You're focusing on the wrong thing. Like infuse
Speaker 2: yourself with the positivity that you derive from working out
Speaker 2: and just let that be and I promise you you're
Speaker 2: going to have a different outlook.
Speaker 5: Yeah, this might be a great place to to incorporate.
Speaker 5: Chelsea recommends a lot of gratitude journal and do that
Speaker 5: for thirty days, like just focusing on like here's what
Speaker 5: my body can do, Here's what I was able to
Speaker 5: do yesterday, Here's how strong I feel today and really
Speaker 5: focusing on that for thirty days.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And you know what, also, I just talked to someone
Speaker 2: about this and it was somebody who was very unexpectedly
Speaker 2: wrote a gratitude journal that I was like, really, he
Speaker 2: must have been a straight man. But anyway, he was
Speaker 2: saying to me that he did do it, not at
Speaker 2: my behest, but that someone else is a mind. And
Speaker 2: he said, I mean it's vibrationally, like how you can
Speaker 2: change your attitude, how you can change your outlook, like
Speaker 2: it's a matter of days if you just put that
Speaker 2: down to practice, like all these little things you can
Speaker 2: do to keep the vibes high.
Speaker 5: Zachary Levi wasn't.
Speaker 1: I mean, most things are Zachary Levi with me.
Speaker 5: So thanks, Amanda, and let us know if that changes
Speaker 5: things for you. Our next question comes from Brian and
Speaker 5: he's going to be calling in is it Zachary Levi?
Speaker 3: And he identified he does.
Speaker 5: So Brian says, Dear Chelsea, I've recently started dating a
Speaker 5: new guy and he's absolutely wonderful. He's got a great job,
Speaker 5: he's super sweet and has a good support system around
Speaker 5: him and texts in full complete sentences. I know, Chelsea
Speaker 5: will appreciate that one.
Speaker 1: I do appreciate that.
Speaker 5: There's just one caveat. He's undetectable untransmittable HIV positive, meaning
Speaker 5: his viral load is so low that he's not able
Speaker 5: to pass it along, or so the science says. I have, however,
Speaker 5: heard of cases where this has still occurred. I'm also
Speaker 5: on PREP, so that's another layer of protection. And obviously
Speaker 5: condoms can be used as well, although I'm allergic to
Speaker 5: late text and haven't used condoms in yours. I really
Speaker 5: like this guy, and we're at the point of exploring
Speaker 5: things physically. I just have some worries with this, as
Speaker 5: it's a huge potential risk. I feel it's a risk
Speaker 5: I'm willing to take in the right situation for sure.
Speaker 5: I just don't know when that time is. Sincerely, Brian, Hi, Brian, Brian, Hi.
Speaker 4: Hi.
Speaker 1: This is our special guest, Zachary Quinto today.
Speaker 3: Hi, nice to meet you. Say Kinto or Quinto, You're right,
Speaker 3: You're right? Shows this Quinto Pinto?
Speaker 2: Okay, Sorry, sorry he's telling you he's a fan. I'm like,
Speaker 2: is it Quinto?
Speaker 4: Please?
Speaker 2: Quick here like an asshole? Sorry, anyway, welcome to our show.
Speaker 2: I'm glad you're both here. That's a great question. Have
Speaker 2: you spoken to your doctor about this?
Speaker 6: That was my first question too, not specifically about this situation,
Speaker 6: about you know, protection and to begin with, I think
Speaker 6: that's why I started PREP about a year and a
Speaker 6: half ago, so I've had kind of the general over
Speaker 6: overlying conversation, but not specifically about this situation yet.
Speaker 3: I mean, I would I agree with Chelsea. I think
Speaker 3: that is certainly the place to start. To sit down
Speaker 3: with your doctor and explain the situation and come up
Speaker 3: with a plan that your doctor feels is reliable, you know,
Speaker 3: medically sound and reliable. But I mean, the evolution of
Speaker 3: medical technology is so incredible and you know, our generation
Speaker 3: is benefited from that SOT greatly. So you know, between PREP,
Speaker 3: which you're on, and his treatment which keeps him undetectable,
Speaker 3: I mean, the percentage chance of transmission is like point something, right,
Speaker 3: like point zero something. I think it's really really low.
Speaker 3: And so how long have you been together?
Speaker 4: Not long, I'd say about a month.
Speaker 3: Uh oh okay, but it's a little.
Speaker 7: Bit long distance. So we've been on probably like six
Speaker 7: or seven days. I'm supposed to see him tonight actually, so.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, exciting and how openly are you able to
Speaker 3: talk about it with him?
Speaker 4: Communication has been really great.
Speaker 7: He was very you know, forth coming from the beginning
Speaker 7: and you know, give a lot of information on answered
Speaker 7: any and all questions.
Speaker 4: So that was good. I think it's just for me.
Speaker 7: The big question is do I want to and even
Speaker 7: though the risk is super super low, do you want
Speaker 7: to take that risk if it's not something that's going
Speaker 7: to work out. Yeah, And so that's the question that
Speaker 7: I think I have for him. But I just I
Speaker 7: don't know exactly how to phrase that and come across
Speaker 7: obviously endearing with compassion.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I would just say you're from my
Speaker 3: experience communication, communication, communication, you know, share your feelings, because
Speaker 3: if if your relationship is meant to evolve into something
Speaker 3: substantive and meaningful and sustainable, then communication is the only
Speaker 3: foundation on which you can build a relationship for which
Speaker 3: that will be true. So you have to be able
Speaker 3: to bring all the parts of yourself, the scared parts,
Speaker 3: the vulnerable parts, the parts that you feel like might
Speaker 3: get rejected to the conversation from the beginning, because if
Speaker 3: what you're navigating is, hey, is there youeeling this way
Speaker 3: that I'm feeling like this could be something significant and
Speaker 3: he is feeling that way, then the conversation will lead
Speaker 3: you to the next phase or the next chapter. Right,
Speaker 3: But I don't think you can make it all about
Speaker 3: this one issue. I think what you need to do
Speaker 3: is figure out a way to maybe separate out that
Speaker 3: concern with the bigger question, which is like, hey, are
Speaker 3: we doing this thing? Because if you're doing this thing
Speaker 3: and you're together, then as long as you have a
Speaker 3: foundation who open this honesty and communication, there's nothing else
Speaker 3: you can't figure out.
Speaker 4: Oh, absolutely, And I really appreciate that.
Speaker 7: I speaking of making it about the whole conversation, there's
Speaker 7: been an update since I wrote in and since I
Speaker 7: talked to Catherine last week.
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, you're pregnant.
Speaker 7: But again, it's been moving forward, and so it's been
Speaker 7: moving in the right direction of all that. However, on Thursday,
Speaker 7: I was with him and he told me that he's
Speaker 7: kind of unhappy at his place of work right now,
Speaker 7: but there's one boss that's kind of kept in there
Speaker 7: that he's very very close with, and he got worried
Speaker 7: that that boss is potentially leaving for a job out
Speaker 7: of state, and they've asked him to go if it
Speaker 7: all works out, so he has some big decisions to
Speaker 7: make with that. It wouldn't happen for like four to
Speaker 7: six months even if it did happen. So that's kind
Speaker 7: of a new wrinkle that's been thrown in.
Speaker 2: Well, where would he go because it's already long distance,
Speaker 2: so where would he move?
Speaker 7: Well, long distance Now, it's only about forty five minutes
Speaker 7: to an hour, so it's not bad. It's definitely cable
Speaker 7: to see each other a couple times a week at least,
Speaker 7: but this would be five hours away.
Speaker 2: Uh huh okay, Well that's so manageable. I mean, listen,
Speaker 2: that's a gift sometimes to distance.
Speaker 4: It is.
Speaker 2: I mean, every relationship that I know that's successful is
Speaker 2: because the two people are traveling extensively. So please don't
Speaker 2: use that as like our reason to not be with someone.
Speaker 2: It's very good to have space and to have someone
Speaker 2: five hours away.
Speaker 1: It is no big deal. That's an hour flight, or
Speaker 1: do you mean a five hour flight?
Speaker 7: It's a five hours but it's in the middle of nowhere,
Speaker 7: so there is no direct.
Speaker 1: Flight or well you could parachute in.
Speaker 2: Don't worry about that, right, Yeah, I wouldn't worry about
Speaker 2: those problems until they arise and they're actually concrete, and
Speaker 2: I wouldn't consider it a problem, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: Just kind of like reframe everything you're talking about. The
Speaker 2: fact that you guys had this conversation a month in
Speaker 2: means that this guy is responsible, is respectful, and actually
Speaker 2: cares about you, right, I mean, he told you everything
Speaker 2: he needed to tell you before anything happened.
Speaker 1: The risk sounds very low.
Speaker 2: Obviously, I'm not going to give you any medical advice
Speaker 2: because I'm not a doctor, even though I want to be,
Speaker 2: and I love medications and pills and I love giving advice.
Speaker 1: But I don't want to be responsible for that.
Speaker 2: But I just as a gut I think, I think
Speaker 2: you're going to be fine, and I understand all of
Speaker 2: the concerns you have. But we are living at a
Speaker 2: time that is much different than when AIDS came on
Speaker 2: the scene, you know what I mean. This is a
Speaker 2: much different world. People live with it healthfully for decades,
Speaker 2: you know, look at Magic Johnson.
Speaker 4: Look.
Speaker 2: And it's not just wealthy people. I have friends who
Speaker 2: have AIDS or HIV. Well. So yeah, not that you're
Speaker 2: trying to get it, but I'm just saying it's just
Speaker 2: not what it was. So I want you to think
Speaker 2: about it in that in that frame too, because it's
Speaker 2: really important to find somebody that you can trust, that
Speaker 2: you can love, that respects you and the feeling is mutual.
Speaker 2: So I would focus on those issues first and anything
Speaker 2: else you can navigate.
Speaker 4: I appreciate that.
Speaker 7: Yeah, And he says so sweet, and it's been such
Speaker 7: a breath or fresh air, and it's definitely something that
Speaker 7: I want to explore.
Speaker 4: So I really really appreciate all.
Speaker 3: The Yeah, you should explore it, see where it takes you.
Speaker 3: It sounds like a nice beginning to something that even
Speaker 3: though there's a lot of unknowns, you can't miss what's
Speaker 3: meant for you. So if this is something that is
Speaker 3: supposed to be in your life, then everything will unfold
Speaker 3: so that that is possible.
Speaker 4: Right now. That's that's really really great advice. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, thank you, Brian.
Speaker 4: You in a month, I'll be at one of your
Speaker 4: shows in Texas.
Speaker 2: Oh go Texas. You're in Texas, well, try to get
Speaker 2: out of there as quickly as are you there?
Speaker 1: All right, thank y'all, all right, thanks for calling in.
Speaker 5: All right, Our next caller is Chris. He says, Dear Chelsea,
Speaker 5: I recently got engaged to my partner after eighteen years.
Speaker 5: Marriage was never a must, and it just felt like
Speaker 5: the right time for us. But our relationship is not
Speaker 5: what my email is about. So when we got engaged,
Speaker 5: I called to tell my mom the news and got
Speaker 5: a less than excited response. To be honest, it was
Speaker 5: exactly the response I expected, so it wasn't a disappointment. However,
Speaker 5: before she even said her lackluster congratulations, the first thing
Speaker 5: she said was, we won't tell your father. This is
Speaker 5: where I need advice. I've never been particularly close to
Speaker 5: my dad, and when I came out, it made a
Speaker 5: not great relationship pretty bad for a few years. I
Speaker 5: didn't come around for a while. While things have improved,
Speaker 5: my being gay and in a relationship is just never
Speaker 5: discussed or talked about. My dad is ninety five years old,
Speaker 5: I'm forty, and my mom says he won't be able
Speaker 5: to handle the news of my engagement, almost implying it
Speaker 5: would kill him.
Speaker 1: Literally. I don't feel.
Speaker 5: Right not telling my dad, and I don't need his
Speaker 5: approval and I'm not looking for him to all of
Speaker 5: a sudden embrace my relationship. But I'm also not going
Speaker 5: to hide my future marriage. How do I handle this?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: Hi, how are you nice to meet you? This is Agricanco,
Speaker 2: our special guest today.
Speaker 3: How are you nice to meet you? How are you good?
Speaker 8: Good?
Speaker 1: Here comes Doug. This is my big black magic Doug.
Speaker 1: Here you goes? Okay.
Speaker 4: Hi.
Speaker 1: So congratulations, by the way.
Speaker 3: So your engagement, that's exciting.
Speaker 2: That's exciting with your partner eighteen years Okay.
Speaker 1: Fantastic, it was time cool geez. Eighteen years and you're forty.
Speaker 2: Ye, so you're twenty two years twenty two years old
Speaker 2: and you're still together college.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Is he the same age as you are?
Speaker 8: Oh he's a bit older. He's in his sixties.
Speaker 1: Oh interesting. Okay. So does your mother know him already?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 8: My mom does.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay.
Speaker 2: Is she venting you from telling your father or suggesting
Speaker 2: that you not tell your father because of who it is,
Speaker 2: or because of just the fact that you're gay.
Speaker 8: Just the fact that I'm gay? I mean, he knows.
Speaker 9: He's never met my partner, Jeff for a while once.
Speaker 9: He when I first came out. You know, I sort
Speaker 9: of stayed away from the family for several years. Slowly
Speaker 9: I sort of got back in with the family and
Speaker 9: you know, went back to doing some family events. Jeff
Speaker 9: has never met my dad. It's just never not something
Speaker 9: that's talked about. It's just I'm around just to help
Speaker 9: keep the peace. Almost sometimes it seems.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry that that's been your experience. That's pretty disappointing.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry too. That is difficult and challenging and
Speaker 3: I'm sure probably a heavy thing to carry in the
Speaker 3: face of such a celebratory moment. So I'm sorry that
Speaker 3: you're at that crossroads.
Speaker 5: And Chris, I wanted to just drop in here as well.
Speaker 5: Something that came up when we were chatting in our
Speaker 5: pre interview, was that, really you said that your dad
Speaker 5: has sort of softened. He's been saying I love you more, hugging.
Speaker 5: Can you tell us a little bit about that.
Speaker 9: Yeah, he's ninety five, so he's getting up there in age,
Speaker 9: so you know, part of it's just like as he
Speaker 9: just set in his ways, you know, but just over
Speaker 9: the years, you know, whenever I see him and whenever
Speaker 9: you know, me and my siblings when we leave for
Speaker 9: whatever gathering we're at, you know, he's definitely more affectionate. Recently,
Speaker 9: you know, he's saying, I love you, giving a kiss.
Speaker 3: You know it interestingly to me, it's an interesting I
Speaker 3: guess most things tie back to consciousness. But but you know,
Speaker 3: you have to give him grace, you know. And I
Speaker 3: guess my advice to you, or my sort of reflection
Speaker 3: back at you, is, if you've observed a softening him,
Speaker 3: you know, and you've observed this kind of desire to
Speaker 3: connect more, I think you have to recognize what you're
Speaker 3: up against, right, And for somebody who's ninety five years old,
Speaker 3: that's that's not getting up there, that's that's got He's
Speaker 3: already got there, you know what I mean. That's that's
Speaker 3: really really no matter how you cut it, he's coming
Speaker 3: to the end of this part of his experience. And
Speaker 3: so you know, if you feel like sharing this news
Speaker 3: with him is going to cause him any kind of
Speaker 3: pain or exacerbate his suffering or complicate the end of
Speaker 3: his life, then, as his son, even though you clearly
Speaker 3: had a complicated relationship with him, I'm sure that's not
Speaker 3: your motivation here. You don't want to make his life
Speaker 3: any harder. So maybe there's a way to just find
Speaker 3: an intimate moment with him and just say something to
Speaker 3: the effect of, Dad, you know, I know that we've
Speaker 3: never really seen eye to eye on certain aspects of
Speaker 3: who I am. And I understand that you know that
Speaker 3: that doesn't mean you love me any less, but it
Speaker 3: just means that you weren't able to process the reality
Speaker 3: of who I am in the same way. But I
Speaker 3: just want you to know that I am really, really happy.
Speaker 3: You know, like, if there's a way for you to
Speaker 3: communicate to him that this moment in your life where
Speaker 3: you're telling him without telling him, if your mom is
Speaker 3: concerned that you telling him that you're getting married to
Speaker 3: your longtime partner who's never met because he couldn't hold
Speaker 3: space for you to have that experience, is going to
Speaker 3: make his suffering worse, then is there an opportunity for
Speaker 3: you to just tell him what you need him to know,
Speaker 3: which is that he raised a son who is capable
Speaker 3: of love and who is capable of navigating all of
Speaker 3: the challenges and all the obstacles that your father, in
Speaker 3: his limited consciousness, forced upon you, not intentionally and not
Speaker 3: because he wanted to, but because he didn't know any better.
Speaker 3: And now that he's coming to the end of his
Speaker 3: journey with compassion and forgiveness. I think there's a way
Speaker 3: for you to let him know that you don't resent
Speaker 3: him for that, and that he can move on from
Speaker 3: this experience, from his human experience, and know that you
Speaker 3: are happy and safe. And any father wants to know
Speaker 3: that their child.
Speaker 8: Yeah, and I believe he does.
Speaker 2: So that's very beautiful. That is very beautiful, and exactly
Speaker 2: I completely agree. I think there is a way to
Speaker 2: say that. And you know, and I think you're probably
Speaker 2: going to hear what you want to hear when his
Speaker 2: time is up. And if you have the luxury of
Speaker 2: spending you know, a last few days with him, even
Speaker 2: if it's the last few hours with him, hopefully he
Speaker 2: you know, you'll have that opportunity. And I guarantee you, well,
Speaker 2: I don't guarantee you, but I would strongly suspect that
Speaker 2: during that time you're going to have an opportunity to
Speaker 2: share this with him. There is really no rush, right Like,
Speaker 2: it's not an emergency. You don't have to tell him,
Speaker 2: right and you know in those moments or when you
Speaker 2: if there is a moment that happens before that, great,
Speaker 2: but if you know, if it's not until then, then
Speaker 2: that's it. A good opportunity too, and when you're saying goodbye,
Speaker 2: to let him know how happy you are and how
Speaker 2: happy you are to live a fully realized, actualized existence
Speaker 2: where you're not hiding, you know, and you're being who
Speaker 2: you are.
Speaker 1: And there's not a person who doesn't want that for
Speaker 1: their child.
Speaker 5: Right, And that you've found a partner who loves you
Speaker 5: and treats you well, and that you've made a life
Speaker 5: together and.
Speaker 3: You've been together for eighteen years. So this isn't a lark,
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: I just I'm just so curious how you get how
Speaker 2: you get engaged after eighteen years, Like what happens?
Speaker 9: I just you know, I've been thinking about the last
Speaker 9: year or two.
Speaker 8: Just you know, I just felt it was time we
Speaker 8: took it.
Speaker 3: We're in Pittsburgh, Oh you are, that's where from?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know a lazy well I know my fair
Speaker 3: share about you know, stubborn, Dunian, older Pittsburgh. So I
Speaker 3: know what you're up against there, and like I get it.
Speaker 3: You know, that's a tough metocrack. So so just like
Speaker 3: I just think compassion and forgiveness can be your guide
Speaker 3: and that you know you'll find a place with him
Speaker 3: of mutuality and love, because that's that's that's what's there,
Speaker 3: you know, eventually.
Speaker 8: Definitely, Yeah, Yeah, I think it'll I'm hoping it would
Speaker 8: go better than what my mind is thinking it will go.
Speaker 3: So yeah, and I do agree with Chelsea there is
Speaker 3: no rush.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just know that you're gonna You're gonna have
Speaker 2: the conversation with him at the appropriate time and surrender it.
Speaker 2: Just be like, Okay, I've decided what I'm going to
Speaker 2: do here, Now let me let it go, and then
Speaker 2: when the opportunity arises, take that opportunity.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 9: I think the more I think about it, it's more
Speaker 9: for me than it really is for him.
Speaker 8: I think too. No, I mean, he knows, but he
Speaker 8: doesn't know the extent of it.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's hard in families when you have open secrets,
Speaker 3: you know, it's a difficult thing to navigate because it's
Speaker 3: such a oh, it's such an unfortunate byproduct of trauma, right,
Speaker 3: like open secrets, Like that's the worst.
Speaker 4: Right.
Speaker 3: So he knows, but he doesn't know, or he knows
Speaker 3: but he won't acknowledge it or something. So yeah, And
Speaker 3: I also recognize as a gay man myself, I also
Speaker 3: recognize your position, which is like, I shouldn't have to hide,
Speaker 3: I shouldn't have to sublimate my love to please this person.
Speaker 3: But there is that you know, he did the best
Speaker 3: he could and it wasn't good enough, and I'm sorry
Speaker 3: that it wasn't good enough for you. You you deserve better.
Speaker 3: But it sounds like you've found better. It sounds like
Speaker 3: you've created better for yourself. You've evolved beyond the limitations
Speaker 3: of what he provided for you or your you know,
Speaker 3: your family of origin provided for you, and so now
Speaker 3: you have the opportunity to, from that place of expansion,
Speaker 3: embrace his limited point of view and let him know
Speaker 3: that it doesn't diminish your appreciation for him. Your love
Speaker 3: for him and the person that you are today is
Speaker 3: informed at least partially and certainly significantly by him, and
Speaker 3: so there is gratitude there. And how can you focus
Speaker 3: on that now that he's in the very you know,
Speaker 3: the last chapter of his experience.
Speaker 9: No, I agree, I agree, So I would definitely be
Speaker 9: having this conversation and for the best.
Speaker 2: And also framing everything in the right pace way, like
Speaker 2: you know, what you said is important. This is more
Speaker 2: for me than for him, So take that back and
Speaker 2: think about that, because if it is more for you,
Speaker 2: then hold on to it for a little bit.
Speaker 1: Okay, and thanks for calling it. Yeah, thanks, great to
Speaker 1: meet you.
Speaker 3: I have a good one.
Speaker 1: Thanks Chris, Bye bye. Okay, do we have to take
Speaker 1: a break and come back to wrap it up?
Speaker 2: Okay, We're going to take a break and come back,
Speaker 2: and we're back with Zachary Quintop.
Speaker 1: Zachary, I have a question about your show.
Speaker 2: So your character is gay in the show, and Oliver
Speaker 2: Sacks was he?
Speaker 1: He wasn't gay?
Speaker 3: Was he? Yeah? He was?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: He was? Oh?
Speaker 2: Oh, okay, So then I guess I don't know if it
Speaker 2: was also So that was a request that you made.
Speaker 3: No, No, Oliver Sacks was a gay man who was
Speaker 3: celibate for thirty five years of his life, and that
Speaker 3: was a real roadblock for me in terms of understanding
Speaker 3: the character. I couldn't fathom when I first was presented
Speaker 3: with that fact how someone could make a choice like that,
Speaker 3: or why someone make a choice like that. And then
Speaker 3: the more I did it, the more I realized that
Speaker 3: he recognized that if he came out in his day
Speaker 3: and age, and you know, he lived and worked in
Speaker 3: the middle of the twentieth century, mostly the seventies, eighties
Speaker 3: and nine dais and he died in twenty fifteen at
Speaker 3: the age of eighty three. So, you know, had he
Speaker 3: come out, he would have been defined by that aspect
Speaker 3: of who he was, right, he would have been diminished
Speaker 3: in his capacity to make the contributions to the field
Speaker 3: of neurology that he was singularly designed to make. And
Speaker 3: so he chose to separate himself, to divorce himself from
Speaker 3: that part of who he was, and to compartmentalize and
Speaker 3: split off from that part of his identity in order
Speaker 3: to be able to serve his patients and make the
Speaker 3: incredible and indelible mark on a medicine that he was
Speaker 3: able to make. Thankfully, late in his life he came
Speaker 3: to terms with his sexuality and he came out, and
Speaker 3: he was in a relationship for the last decade or
Speaker 3: so of his life with a very loving partner, and
Speaker 3: he found his way to that. But you know, so
Speaker 3: my character on the show is gay. It's the first
Speaker 3: openly gay lead of a primetime network medical drama, A
Speaker 3: big deal in that way. But it's a big deal
Speaker 3: because it's not a big deal, right, It's a big deal,
Speaker 3: because we live in a world, and I live in
Speaker 3: a world as an openly gay actor where that aspect
Speaker 3: of my personality, of my identity is only one of
Speaker 3: many aspects of the identity that I moved through the
Speaker 3: world with, and I benefited from the sacrifices of people
Speaker 3: like Oliver Sacks who didn't have that same opportunity. So
Speaker 3: there is some really wonderful through line in that narrative
Speaker 3: right between the life that Oliver Sacks lived, the life
Speaker 3: that the character I play, Oliver Wolf lives, and the
Speaker 3: life that I live, you know, as an actor and
Speaker 3: as a person in this modern day. So I feel
Speaker 3: grateful for that.
Speaker 1: Was there ever a time in your career that you
Speaker 1: weren't out?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I didn't come out until twenty eleven.
Speaker 3: I started working. I mean, Heroes was the show that
Speaker 3: really changed my life my career. People started to know
Speaker 3: me in two thousand and six. So it was the
Speaker 3: end of two thousand and six that I became a
Speaker 3: known quantity, right like that, I ever had to deal
Speaker 3: with the idea of what being famous was. And then
Speaker 3: it was five years later that I came around public.
Speaker 3: So there was a five year period of time where
Speaker 3: I was out in my life and people who knew
Speaker 3: me knew I was gay, but I never spoke of
Speaker 3: it publicly until twenty eleven.
Speaker 1: And how did that feel?
Speaker 3: Well, that was one of the most liberating experiences that
Speaker 3: I've ever had. I made the decision to come out
Speaker 3: on my own. I didn't tell anybody. I didn't tell
Speaker 3: my publicists. I didn't tell my agents or my manager,
Speaker 3: anybody that I worked with. I didn't tell anybody in
Speaker 3: my life, my boyfriend at the time, my family. I
Speaker 3: just gave an interview and I referred to myself as
Speaker 3: a gay man twice within the interview, so that I
Speaker 3: put you a fine point on it in case they
Speaker 3: missed it the first time. And that to me was
Speaker 3: I did it in my own time, on my own terms.
Speaker 3: I didn't seek advice or councilor you know. It wasn't
Speaker 3: a decision by committee. It was a decision that I
Speaker 3: made myself, and so I was able to hold that
Speaker 3: decision for whatever it ended up, you know, whatever the
Speaker 3: reaction to it was, it was my decision, you know,
Speaker 3: And so that felt really liberating.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. I love that. Well, thank you
Speaker 1: for being with us today.
Speaker 2: You guys, everybody, you can watch this wonderful human being
Speaker 2: on his show on Peacock on the Peacock Network. I
Speaker 2: think they want you to call it the Peacock.
Speaker 3: I don't. It's on NBC on Monday nights at ten
Speaker 3: pm for people who watch TV in real time, and
Speaker 3: then it streams on Peacock on the Peacock the next.
Speaker 1: Day, probably way off.
Speaker 3: I think it might just be I'm.
Speaker 2: Getting confused with all the different platforms and their names.
Speaker 3: Is It's very good. It will be something different tomorrow.
Speaker 1: And I hope I get to see you in person
Speaker 1: sometime soon, Zachary.
Speaker 3: I was just about to say that very thing. It
Speaker 3: is always good to connect with you. You know, I really
Speaker 3: admire you, respect you and appreciate you and like you,
Speaker 3: and I hope we can have a meal and you know,
Speaker 3: like see each other outside of this context at some point.
Speaker 3: I'm in New York. I'm doing a play here this
Speaker 3: fall from the end of November until February. If you're
Speaker 3: in New York, please come to see my play called
Speaker 3: Culton Love at the Helen Hayes Theater on Broadway. And
Speaker 3: if you come, let me know and we can go
Speaker 3: it after.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to write that down right now. Cult
Speaker 1: of Love.
Speaker 3: Yeah, come see it. It's really I'm really excited.
Speaker 1: I would love to be good. Okay, Okay, it was
Speaker 1: such a pleasure to see.
Speaker 3: So good to see you both. Have a good day YouTube.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: You well. Thanks.
Speaker 2: Okay, So upcoming shows that I have you guys, I'm
Speaker 2: coming to Texas. I'm coming to Saint Louis and Kansas City,
Speaker 2: and then I will be in Las Vegas performing at
Speaker 2: the Chelsea Theater inside the Cosmopolitan Hotel.
Speaker 1: I'm coming to.
Speaker 2: Brooklyn, New York at the King's Theater on November eighth,
Speaker 2: and I have tickets on sale throughout the end of
Speaker 2: the year in December, So if you're in a city
Speaker 2: like Philadelphia or Bethlehem or San Diego or New Orleans
Speaker 2: or Omaha, check Chelseahandler dot com for tickets.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 5: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
Speaker 5: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
Speaker 5: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
Speaker 5: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and
Speaker 5: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
Speaker 5: com