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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: I finally stood up against my mother in law, but

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Speaker 2: now everyone's against me.

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Speaker 3: Ooh uh oh, sorry about that.

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Speaker 2: My husband and I got pregnant with my son when

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Speaker 2: we were first dating in grad school. It was a surprise,

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Speaker 2: but we moved in with my parents to continue our

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Speaker 2: education while supporting a child. His mom lives ten hours away,

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Speaker 2: so we didn't see her often. Initially, I loved her.

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Speaker 2: She was cool, fun and laid back.

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Speaker 3: For now.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from a Lissa Million And

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Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: the r slash Okay Storytime Stepreddit. And I'm Angie and

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Speaker 2: I'm Savannah, and we're here to give good advice.

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Speaker 3: Goofully, But we don't have all the answers, so we're

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Speaker 3: just gonna guess what we would do in this situation.

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Speaker 2: Let us know what you do in the comments below,

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Speaker 2: and oh, he says. Our first blip happened in October

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Speaker 2: twenty fourteen when she showed up to my baby shower

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Speaker 2: two hours late and was upset that all forty of

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Speaker 2: us didn't wait for her.

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Speaker 3: Cool.

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Speaker 2: In December, our son was born and she overstayed her

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Speaker 2: welcome in the hospital room. In January twenty fifteen, we

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Speaker 2: got engaged and asked her to do the rehearsal dinner.

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Speaker 2: She said yes, we just needed to pick the place

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Speaker 2: since she was out of state. In October twenty fifteen,

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Speaker 2: we visited her. I tried showing her my dress and

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Speaker 2: she scrolled through her phone telling me that she'd seen it,

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Speaker 2: telling me she'd see it at the wedding without even

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Speaker 2: looking up. In spring twenty sixteen, my mother in law

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Speaker 2: had her license suspended due to multiple accidents. In May,

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Speaker 2: my husband lost his job and our insurance. So fast

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Speaker 2: forward June twenty sixteen, one month before our wedding. Mother

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Speaker 2: in law wanted to take my son to her state

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Speaker 2: during our honeymoon. We said no due to her driving

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Speaker 2: record and my son only having catastrophic insurance. We offered

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Speaker 2: her our apartment and car, so she could still spend

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Speaker 2: time with him, but she declined and made a huge

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Speaker 2: deal about being hurt. Her husband even called and chewed

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Speaker 2: my husband out like he was thirteen. So now July

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Speaker 2: twenty sixteen, we get married. She didn't come to the

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Speaker 2: rehearsal dinner, let alone pay for it. She didn't get

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Speaker 2: her other son a tucks even though he was in

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Speaker 2: the wedding, so my mom paid for it. She never

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Speaker 2: paid my mom back, which was about five hundred bucks.

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Speaker 2: She didn't get us a card or present and didn't

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Speaker 2: even say congratulations. She didn't smile in any pictures or dance.

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Speaker 2: Clearly she was pissed about where our son stayed during

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Speaker 2: our honeymoon. I'm still hurt by how she acted, but

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Speaker 2: I didn't let it ruin my day. I'm not upset

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Speaker 2: about the money. It was about her not sticking to

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Speaker 2: her word and her character. Fast forward now to April

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Speaker 2: twenty eighteen. Okay, all right, we're jumping around on this timeline.

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Speaker 3: We are.

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Speaker 2: My husband graduated with his MBA and landed a job.

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Speaker 2: August twenty eighteen, we bought a house. No easy tasks.

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Speaker 2: Mother in law sank my husband's credit by having him

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Speaker 2: co sign things.

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Speaker 3: That she defaulted on no yikes, hikes, and we found

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Speaker 3: out that we were pregnant again after years of trying.

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Speaker 3: In December, she asked us for a large sum of

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Speaker 3: money to help with bills since she spent too much

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Speaker 3: on Christmas. We said no since we also had Christmas,

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Speaker 3: my son's birthday, a baby on the way, and a

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Speaker 3: house that had just flooded.

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Speaker 2: Oh, the next day was my son's birthday and she

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Speaker 2: didn't call, probably because we didn't give her the money,

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Speaker 2: which my son still remembers. In January twenty nineteen, now

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Speaker 2: she gets a job in our city and randomly moves here.

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Speaker 2: She asks to stay with us while looking for a place.

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Speaker 2: I say no since I was high risk coaching robotics

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Speaker 2: and I like my Space. She landed the job in

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Speaker 2: early January and didn't start until February, plenty of time

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Speaker 2: to find a place. I sent her listings and my

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Speaker 2: husband offered to apartment hunt with her, but she didn't

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Speaker 2: take it. As soon as she moved here, she's been

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Speaker 2: awful at communicating. We would invite her over and it

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Speaker 2: was like pulling teeth to get her to commit. When

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Speaker 2: she would come over, she wouldn't make eye contact with me,

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Speaker 2: whispered at the dinner table to my husband and continued

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Speaker 2: whispering when we asked her to speak up asked She

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Speaker 2: asked my husband to ask me questions when I'm in

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Speaker 2: the same room, and tried to manipulate my son by

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Speaker 2: telling him that he needs to ask for her to

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Speaker 2: come over.

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Speaker 3: It sounds like such a lovely party, guess could you

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Speaker 3: imagine that She's like, could you pass the peace please?

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Speaker 3: Like it's just that, yeah, can you ask?

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Speaker 2: Can you ask your wife to pass the police? She

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Speaker 2: gives me she pulled me another wine please. After the

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Speaker 2: second awkward visit, we stopped inviting her. Then we started

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Speaker 2: getting mail with her name at our house. What?

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Speaker 3: What? How? How? What did she just say? Like I

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Speaker 3: live here now? Yeah, she's just listen. That's crazy.

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Speaker 2: My husband asked her to stop, but she didn't. She

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Speaker 2: even said, I.

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Speaker 3: Know you told me to stop, but I know you

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Speaker 3: said not to, but like I kind of want to.

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Speaker 2: I kind of like this, And she said that she

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Speaker 2: used our address when applying for a car. What's girl,

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Speaker 2: What's why? What's the reason? It got so bad that

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Speaker 2: our mail lady glued a label with her last name

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Speaker 2: into our mailbox. My husband told her again to get

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Speaker 2: a po box. April twenty nineteen, our daughter was born. Okay,

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Speaker 2: so okay, full house, foolhouse. Mother in law visited the

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Speaker 2: hospital and brought her son, who sneezed and coughed the

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Speaker 2: whole time. Next thing, I know, I'm sick. Two days

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Speaker 2: after the sea section. Yes, no, that's things.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I sent a text to all families saying no more

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Speaker 2: visitors until we're out of the hospital. Everyone was cool

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Speaker 2: with it except mother in law. She didn't see my

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Speaker 2: daughter again until almost a month later and sent my

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Speaker 2: husband a text about how I'm barring her from her grandches.

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Speaker 3: Oh you boar thing.

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Speaker 2: In May, mother in law wanted to bring my husband's stepdad,

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Speaker 2: who she's divorcing, to see the baby. I didn't want

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Speaker 2: to see her. She was triggering my postpartum depression and anxiety,

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Speaker 2: so I wasn't there. During the visit, my husband pulled

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Speaker 2: her aside to remedy things. She said, I'm the one

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Speaker 2: that hates her.

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Speaker 3: Cool.

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Speaker 2: My husband brought up that she hasn't liked me since

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Speaker 2: before the Heidimoon ordeal. She ended up crying and yelled,

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Speaker 2: I'm moving back to Virginia to my four year old,

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Speaker 2: What you did that?

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Speaker 3: Two of the four year old me too, Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: The week after my daughter spiked a fever and we

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Speaker 2: rushed to the er, mother in lawn texted my husband

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Speaker 2: chewing him out about not telling her our daughter was

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Speaker 2: in the hospital.

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Speaker 3: My husband tried calling her, but she didn't answer for

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Speaker 3: five days. What we did answer for Friday and she's like,

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Speaker 3: how dare you? How dare you not tell me that

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Speaker 3: she was in the hospital. It's like, oh am, I

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Speaker 3: supposed to do that when you're not answering. Then she

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Speaker 3: said it was because she was out of town for business. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: amount of town, So I'm not bringing my phone with

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Speaker 3: me business. Is she running where? Like that's I'm curious

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Speaker 3: to see this lady's timeline. Yeah, it seems like that, Like, oh,

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Speaker 3: he's given us so much of their timeline. I want

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Speaker 3: to know what the mother right her perspective, Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: feel like she's just running like long cons and like

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Speaker 3: across state lines. She's a mattress firm, money laundry and

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Speaker 3: she has to like get move. She used to go

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Speaker 3: to these different towns to move some money around for real, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: we also received mail from the I R S addressed

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Speaker 3: to her, plus a car loan and credit card. She

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Speaker 3: not the I R suse you. You're gonna be like

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Speaker 3: a rested for harboring a fugitive, Like like you're gonna

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Speaker 3: be accused of that just because her address is sou

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Speaker 3: My god, you totally wouldn't.

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Speaker 2: The IRIS does not care right. She lied about continuing

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Speaker 2: to use our address. She said that I'm keeping her

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Speaker 2: from her grandchildren and that.

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Speaker 3: I hate her.

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Speaker 2: She told my husband that she won't speak to us

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Speaker 2: unless she needs to, so any advice.

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Speaker 3: We do have an update. She didn't call or text

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Speaker 3: my husband on Father's Day. I tried messaging her about

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Speaker 3: the IRS thing, and she responded to my husband instead.

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Speaker 3: What I emailed the person on the envelope about what

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Speaker 3: was happening, then called the post office to get her

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Speaker 3: removed from our address. They called back personally to apologize

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Speaker 3: and scribbled over her name in the mailbox. Okay, we

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Speaker 3: have a second update. That's great.

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Speaker 2: I was wondering if you had to like sign into

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Speaker 2: like all of these websites for the IRS and the

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Speaker 2: car loan and something and changed the address there. But

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Speaker 2: that's a good way to just get it.

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Speaker 3: All over with. Yeah, honestly, very very efficient. I don't

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Speaker 3: know how to adult that yet. I'm not there now

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Speaker 3: we know the IRIS is not coming after me yet, yep,

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Speaker 3: until they find out. Update number two. She hasn't contacted

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Speaker 3: us for months. Then one day.

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Speaker 2: I hop on Twitter to find that she's been posting

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Speaker 2: about us.

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Speaker 3: Oh, here are some quotes. Not allowing children have a

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Speaker 3: relationship with a loved one because you dislike or don't

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Speaker 3: see eye to eye with that person is wrong. Not

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Speaker 3: allowing your children to have a relationship with the ones

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Speaker 3: close to that person is worse. I was always there

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Speaker 3: for you through your whole wrestling career and never missed

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Speaker 3: a match, despite distance or weather. If there was a

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Speaker 3: tournament that you wanted to go to, we were there.

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Speaker 3: I was your biggest fan, and you still couldn't take

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Speaker 3: the time to let me know my grandson was wrestling.

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Speaker 2: My husband was hurt and broke no contact. He let

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Speaker 2: her know that it was hurtful to drag him through

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Speaker 2: the mud when she's made no effort to fix things.

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Speaker 2: He said that he still wanted to compromise.

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Speaker 3: Her. Texts back were awful.

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Speaker 2: She was cussing and venting instead of apologizing or compromising.

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Speaker 2: This was the last straw for me. I sent this message.

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Speaker 2: You are such a drama queen. If you truly want

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Speaker 2: a relationship, then quit being passive aggressive and talk otherwise.

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Speaker 2: Don't come for my family on social media. I have

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Speaker 2: zero time for your pettybs. You are a grown butt

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Speaker 2: woman hiding behind a keyboard instead of speaking to us civilly.

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Speaker 2: We've left the door open for you long enough, and

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Speaker 2: yet here you are playing the victim better than Taylor's whift.

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Speaker 2: Either figure yourself out, get over the crap show you've

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Speaker 2: made and be a part of our lives, or keep

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Speaker 2: our names out of your mouth.

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Speaker 3: We'd all love to have a relationship with you. You

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Speaker 3: are the only one getting in your own way. Ball

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Speaker 3: is in your court. And she didn't respond. I have

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Speaker 3: surgery to remove a mass on November fifth, so I

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Speaker 3: blocked her on everything. I love Op's storytelling. I love

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Speaker 3: it so much. I'm just about to say, by the way,

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Speaker 3: I'm getting a mass removed, and just so you know,

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Speaker 3: very pertinent part of the story. I love it so much.

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Speaker 3: Some about the wrestling stuff, that's just like like I

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Speaker 3: think we should just randomly throw things into our stories more.

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Speaker 3: I appreciate no peace, me too. It's just it's very scattered,

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Speaker 3: but I still understand.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're getting the message, and it's just adding a

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Speaker 2: little bit of a humor in there your toes.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, I'm like, wait, did they mention that? Oh no,

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Speaker 3: you're right right. Make sure you're paying attention. Wrestling came

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Speaker 3: out of nowhere, came out of nowhere, That mass came

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Speaker 3: out of nowhere, out of nowhere, but not for a pee,

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Speaker 3: but good things. She's getting it removed. So I blocked

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Speaker 3: around everything.

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Speaker 2: Then I saw posts from his brothers and decided to

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Speaker 2: block them too. But I messaged them first to let

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Speaker 2: them know I just needed a break and it was

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Speaker 2: nothing against them, y'all.

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Speaker 3: I got slammed.

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Speaker 2: I was called everything from a self absorbed person to

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Speaker 2: victim too ugly.

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Speaker 3: It was like high school cyber bullying.

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Speaker 2: I sobbed and I clapped back because I don't let

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Speaker 2: people all over me.

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Speaker 3: But I was literally shaking.

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Speaker 2: They defended the tweets saying, how do you know mother

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Speaker 2: in law wasn't talking about someone else and she just

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Speaker 2: uses Twitter to blow off steam. And I'm supposed to

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Speaker 2: move past these tweets because she uses Twitter as a

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Speaker 2: diary that the whole world can see.

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Speaker 3: And there is a little bit more into the story,

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Speaker 3: but my, oh my, what are your thoughts so far?

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Speaker 3: I think that mother in law is cray, But I

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Speaker 3: also I feel like there's like two sides of the

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Speaker 3: story obviously, But I also I very much think that

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Speaker 3: this mother in law is a little cray. Yeah, and

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Speaker 3: I think that she needs to just you know, cool it.

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Speaker 3: But obviously that's not her thing. But it's so funny

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Speaker 3: that like what her like sons or whatever, the other

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Speaker 3: people defending her like like saying, like, how do you

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Speaker 3: know that was about you? What other wrestling tournaments has

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Speaker 3: she been to? Right? That's what I want to know. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: there is a little bit more into the story.

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Speaker 2: What was also interesting because mother in law has bad

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Speaker 2: mouthed all of them to me in insulting her husband,

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Speaker 2: calling her daughter in law stupid for marrying her other son,

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Speaker 2: and about her other son, she said, who cares?

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Speaker 3: He's a dumb butt and she's a dumb but for

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Speaker 3: marrying him.

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Speaker 2: Why would they stick up for someone who talks so

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Speaker 2: negatively about all of them? Besides that text, which was

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Speaker 2: not my finest hour. I'm not sure what I did wrong.

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Speaker 2: I'm willing to hear criticism because there must be something

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Speaker 2: I'm missing. I'm saddened that they hate me. My family

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Speaker 2: is huge and close, so this really bothers me because

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Speaker 2: I thought that i'd have the same with my husband's family.

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Speaker 3: So what do you think? What do I do? Apologize?

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Speaker 3: Move on? I'm at a loss and that's the end

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Speaker 3: of that story. My mother in law made my husband

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Speaker 3: cry and still think she deserves respect. Ugh, but you

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Speaker 3: see these tears. What I'm saying. My mother in law

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Speaker 3: fifty nine is the biggest self absorbed person you will

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Speaker 3: ever meet. For some reason that we cannot figure out,

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Speaker 3: she has never really liked me. Female twenty seven. I've

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Speaker 3: always thought it's because my husband Mail twenty eight is

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Speaker 3: her youngest kid slash son, and no one will ever

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Speaker 3: be good enough for him, which is super weird in itself.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from you, totally bubbles, And

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Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 3: Okay story time subreddit. I am Savannah and I'm Angie,

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Speaker 3: and we're here to give you some good advice. Goofully,

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Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers. We are not professionals.

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Speaker 3: We only say what we would do in the situation,

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Speaker 3: So let us know what you would do in the comments.

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Speaker 3: As Op says, she has three kids, a daughter and

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Speaker 3: two sons. Her and her daughter had a falling out

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Speaker 3: and stop speaking for a few years because of how

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Speaker 3: bad my mother in law is. I am incredibly close

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Speaker 3: with my mom and my siblings, and she has shown

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Speaker 3: time and time again how jealous she is of my

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Speaker 3: relationship with my mom. My mother in law has always

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Speaker 3: been terrible, But the first thing she did that really

301
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,440
Speaker 3: started all of this was when we moved to Florida

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Speaker 3: a few u years ago. First mistake was Florida. It

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Speaker 3: was my birthday and my mother had flown down to

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Speaker 3: surprise me. Since I was struggling with moving away from

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Speaker 3: my family. My mother in law and her husband were

306
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Speaker 3: already in town from helping us move some stuff down.

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Speaker 3: We decided to go out to dinner for my birthday.

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Speaker 3: That was fine until the check came around. Oh, I

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Speaker 3: am not even kidding when I say. My mother in

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Speaker 3: law looked at the waiter and said, I will be

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Speaker 3: paying for everyone but her and pointed at my mom.

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Speaker 3: I was ready to throw hands. That's my mom, and

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Speaker 3: you don't talk to her like that. Oh my god,

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Speaker 3: that's kind of crazy. That is crazy in front of

315
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Speaker 3: everyone too, that's wild. You're going, yeah, everyone but her, right,

316
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Speaker 3: not this one? Like crazy to just be like yeah,

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Speaker 3: no where, Yeah, I'm hurt. That's wild, dude. But my

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Speaker 3: mom said, I don't think so I will either pay

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Speaker 3: for this whole table or I will pay for just

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Speaker 3: me and my daughter. My mom and her have not

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Speaker 3: spoken since oh it's been four years. Wow. My mother

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Speaker 3: in law's sister doesn't even talk to her anymore, as

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00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,720
Speaker 3: well as several of her other family members. Okay, so

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00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,960
Speaker 3: we can kind of see something forming here. There's already

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Speaker 3: a disconnect from other family members, so not a good

326
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Speaker 3: starting point. Mother in law last year is really when

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00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 3: it started going downhill. I was pregnant and we were

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Speaker 3: planning a gender reveal. She has obviously divorced for my

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Speaker 3: husband's dad, and that's where the party was since he

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Speaker 3: lived where we did as well. They have been divorced

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Speaker 3: for a long time and are both remarried. We're all adults,

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00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,360
Speaker 3: so it shouldn't be too hard to get along for

333
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:45,960
Speaker 3: your grand baby's gender reveal. Right wrong. She didn't come

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00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:49,200
Speaker 3: down for it because it would have been uncomfortable. That

335
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,960
Speaker 3: was quotes, even though when she previously visited, she had

336
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,480
Speaker 3: no problem going to his house and using his boat

337
00:16:55,520 --> 00:17:00,160
Speaker 3: all day when he wasn't there, but still grow up.

338
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,720
Speaker 3: My mom and my sisters flew down for the gender reveal,

339
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Speaker 3: and the day before we decided to have a beach

340
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Speaker 3: day and ended with a sunset cruise on the boat. Well,

341
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:15,320
Speaker 3: my husband boyfriend back then proposed on the sunset cruise.

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00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:19,520
Speaker 3: Cute to wait, that's so romantic. This proposal was supposed

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00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,280
Speaker 3: to happen weeks before, but the weather and timing never

344
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:25,800
Speaker 3: worked out. He never planned for my mom and sisters

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Speaker 3: to be there either. It just happened to work out

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Speaker 3: that way. Okay, well, you know whatever. After the proposal,

347
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,440
Speaker 3: his mom was the first person to send the video

348
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Speaker 3: to He was very excited by the way, but she

349
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,440
Speaker 3: never responded. He had to call her the next day

350
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Speaker 3: to make sure she got the video, and she was livid.

351
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Speaker 3: What her response was, you get what you're getting, you

352
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:51,520
Speaker 3: don't throw a fit. Oh okay, rhyming scheme, She's the riddler.

353
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Speaker 3: She couldn't be happy for her son because she was

354
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,800
Speaker 3: so caught up in the fact that my mom and

355
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Speaker 3: my husband's stepma were there and she wasn't. She straight

356
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,480
Speaker 3: up told my husband and myself that we should have

357
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 3: told her about it, and that he was planning on

358
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,080
Speaker 3: doing that. I was literally in my pajamas when he

359
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,439
Speaker 3: proposed how was I supposed to know about it? To

360
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Speaker 3: tell her? The only people that knew were my husband,

361
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,400
Speaker 3: his dad because he was the one driving the boat

362
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,720
Speaker 3: and had to get us right in the sunset, and

363
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:26,439
Speaker 3: his stepmom because he asked her to record it. The

364
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:30,040
Speaker 3: next day was our gender reveal. It wasn't anything crazy,

365
00:18:30,240 --> 00:18:32,439
Speaker 3: just some balloons in a box and we opened it

366
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:35,800
Speaker 3: and the balloons came out. We simple We let my

367
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:39,399
Speaker 3: mother in law know exactly what time it was and

368
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,960
Speaker 3: gave her a ten to fifteen minute window of when

369
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Speaker 3: we would be opening up the box. We had someone

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Speaker 3: ready to be on FaceTime with her so she could

371
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Speaker 3: be there. That way, we called her fifteen times, oh

372
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,199
Speaker 3: my gosh, and she didn't answer. Want to guess what

373
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,639
Speaker 3: she was doing, and he guesses, no, Actually, I'm just

374
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:01,639
Speaker 3: thinking like she's hugging up but like I don't know,

375
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:06,240
Speaker 3: like I feel like it probably wasn't bad. I feel

376
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,480
Speaker 3: like she'd probably be like, oh I was running errands

377
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:13,359
Speaker 3: or yeah, I don't know. Sorry, I was watching it

378
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,040
Speaker 3: ring and did it and waiting to see how long

379
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 3: it would take for her to stop. I really really

380
00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:21,919
Speaker 3: love to hear my ring tone. Golfing. That's the answer.

381
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,639
Speaker 3: She's golfing. Ha, none of what we said. No, she

382
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:29,359
Speaker 3: never answered. She knew weeks before about this party and

383
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:34,040
Speaker 3: she chose to go golfing during it. Pathetic. Well, later

384
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,640
Speaker 3: that day, I ran home to let her dogs out,

385
00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,320
Speaker 3: and my husband called me crying. I have seen this

386
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:42,679
Speaker 3: man cry maybe twice in our six year relationship, so

387
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,399
Speaker 3: I knew something was wrong. Oh side note men crying,

388
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,280
Speaker 3: I kind of like it's a soft spot. But also

389
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:52,040
Speaker 3: I have to turn away because I laughed, and I

390
00:19:52,080 --> 00:20:00,080
Speaker 3: know it sounds horrible, but I'm just like anyway, So, well,

391
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 3: I knew something was wrong. His mother decided to call

392
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 3: him and go off on him. She said, we should

393
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,679
Speaker 3: have waited to open up the box until she called

394
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,840
Speaker 3: us back, but she never did. What Yeah, right, Like

395
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:15,000
Speaker 3: the only time she calls them back is to just

396
00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 3: like just totally verbally brate this guy, like yeah, like

397
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:22,680
Speaker 3: that's what you should have fifteen chances. Why didn't you

398
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:27,119
Speaker 3: call me sixteen times? Right? Are you kidding? She didn't

399
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,200
Speaker 3: call back until at least an hour after we opened

400
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:33,440
Speaker 3: the box. My blood was boiling. If my mom wasn't

401
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:34,960
Speaker 3: able to fly down, she would have been on the

402
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 3: phone way before we opened the box to make sure

403
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,359
Speaker 3: she didn't miss it. What were we supposed to do

404
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 3: make all the guests who were actually at the party

405
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:43,960
Speaker 3: wait for her to call back. I don't think so. Now,

406
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,160
Speaker 3: every time I think of what was supposed to be

407
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,600
Speaker 3: one of the best weekends of my life, all I

408
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,440
Speaker 3: could think about is her and how she made her

409
00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:56,000
Speaker 3: own son cry on his big weekend. She never reached

410
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 3: out to me to congratulate me on the engagement rude

411
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 3: or the gender rude. Things were obviously weird after that,

412
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,719
Speaker 3: and about a month later, my husband tried to mediate

413
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 3: a phone call because he was obviously upset with what happened.

414
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:13,280
Speaker 3: Her husband did all the talking, and it literally sounded

415
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,840
Speaker 3: like he was holding up pew pewp to her head

416
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 3: to make her say sorry. Wow. Literally that's all she said,

417
00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 3: not even in I'm sorry, just sorry. There's a difference, yeah,

418
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,560
Speaker 3: especially in like this kind of situation where she's already

419
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 3: not doing nearly enough to show up for her son. Yeah,

420
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, just saying sorry is like I want

421
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,000
Speaker 3: to say, like what you're sorry for or something like.

422
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:43,040
Speaker 3: I feel like it's just I don't trust it at all. Yeah,

423
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 3: it really does seem like she is just saying it

424
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:48,159
Speaker 3: to get everyone off her back. She did not speak

425
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 3: to me my entire pregnancy, not one call, not one text,

426
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,680
Speaker 3: no comments on all my ultra sounds or bump pictures.

427
00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 3: I posted nothing, And now when the baby is born,

428
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,480
Speaker 3: she wants all this access to her. You must be

429
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 3: clinically insane if you think you're going to disrespect me

430
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,679
Speaker 3: and then get access to our child. We moved across

431
00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 3: the country back to where she lives. Most of our

432
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 3: family lives there when I was twenty six weeks pregnant.

433
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 3: She never even offered to help with that at all.

434
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,879
Speaker 3: She came to the hospital the day after our daughter

435
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 3: was born. She didn't even say hi to me when

436
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,639
Speaker 3: she walked in the room or asked how I was

437
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,959
Speaker 3: feeling after the sea section. When it was time for

438
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 3: me to breastfeed, she threw a fit when I asked

439
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 3: her to leave the room. She has come to our

440
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 3: house several times since our daughter has been born, and

441
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:38,159
Speaker 3: it's so awkward and uncomfortable. She doesn't even say hi

442
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,520
Speaker 3: to me or try to talk to me. She came

443
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 3: to visit once when our daughter was about a month old.

444
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 3: She's eight months now, and I spent the entire time

445
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 3: crying in her room because I was so mad and

446
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,320
Speaker 3: angry at the thought of her even holding our daughter

447
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,359
Speaker 3: after she walked in our home without acknowledging me or

448
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 3: asking how I was doing. That is crappy, for sure.

449
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 3: I don't like this mother in law, not at all.

450
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,800
Speaker 3: We have seen her several times since, and it's like

451
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 3: she doesn't even want to attempt to repair what is

452
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,399
Speaker 3: honestly past this point of repairing for me. There's also

453
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 3: an update. But do you have any thoughts? I mean, yeah,

454
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:18,920
Speaker 3: boom boo this mother in law boom mommy. No, yeah,

455
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 3: it's like she just doesn't have any sort of concept

456
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 3: on I don't know, like how other people's emotions work. Like, yeah,

457
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,800
Speaker 3: not at all. She's not being considerate of the mother

458
00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 3: of her grandchild at all. Never has been, even her

459
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,120
Speaker 3: own son. She hasn't really she's been disrespectful towards It's

460
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 3: like kind of like the last story you read. It's like,

461
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:43,440
Speaker 3: if you want to have a good relationship with your grandson,

462
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,120
Speaker 3: you have to have a good relationship with their parents. Yes,

463
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:48,679
Speaker 3: you know, like you just it's just you got it

464
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 3: all right. Here is our update. I stay at home

465
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 3: with our daughter and she has made several comments like

466
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:57,399
Speaker 3: what do you do all day? Just watch TV? And

467
00:23:57,480 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 3: it must be nice to just sit around all day.

468
00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 3: My husband has stuck off for me several times. I

469
00:24:02,680 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 3: love my husband so so so much, but he is

470
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:09,679
Speaker 3: a very passive, aggressive person and hates confrontation. He is

471
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,919
Speaker 3: just the happiest person I have ever met, and he

472
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 3: just wants everyone else to be happy as well. I

473
00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:16,639
Speaker 3: know that it's his mom, and I don't want him

474
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 3: to resent me when we cut her out of our lives,

475
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,040
Speaker 3: but I just don't know what to do at this

476
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,639
Speaker 3: point anymore. I can't continue to get treated like this

477
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:27,280
Speaker 3: and still be okay with her around our daughter. Any

478
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:31,480
Speaker 3: advice is helpful, thank you, And there's some comments come

479
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 3: at one. Why do you two keep going back for more?

480
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 3: Why are you setting up for your child to be

481
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:41,679
Speaker 3: exposed to this disgusting behavior. Educate yourselves about enmeshment. And

482
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:45,719
Speaker 3: the bottom line is if she is a self absorbed person,

483
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,959
Speaker 3: she will never change. You can put boundaries and consequences

484
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 3: for breaking them in place to protect your little family. Personally,

485
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 3: I would go completely no contact. She is not a

486
00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:01,399
Speaker 3: mother figure. She is a nasty, toxic cloud. I mean agreed.

487
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:05,919
Speaker 3: I thought, like immediately, like you, just after knowing you

488
00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:08,240
Speaker 3: just like pick it up and it's like, yep, they

489
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:11,000
Speaker 3: only this, this is who they are, and they don't change.

490
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 3: They don't don't try, don't even try to go there,

491
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,159
Speaker 3: because that starts like with childhood. So yeah, that's they're

492
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 3: too old for me to The thing is they don't

493
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,439
Speaker 3: want to change, and then it annoys them, and then

494
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,720
Speaker 3: it annoys you, and then it's just this constant back

495
00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 3: and forth. They're just like, well you did this, I

496
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 3: did this, you did that, will you did this exactly?

497
00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 3: Oh it's horrible, horrible, don't do it. Oh, he says.

498
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 3: We have thankfully decided to go no contact after she

499
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,879
Speaker 3: asked my husband to dinner just the two of them,

500
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,760
Speaker 3: and legit had a list of things she thinks I've

501
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:47,360
Speaker 3: done wrong. Oh wow, that's crazy. He asked, Okay, now

502
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:49,840
Speaker 3: that you've said everything you think she's done wrong, tell

503
00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 3: me what you have done wrong. Good question, She said,

504
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:57,680
Speaker 3: she has done absolutely nothing wrong and everything is my fault.

505
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 3: I cannot fathom how someone can think or act this way.

506
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 3: I'm just happy she is finally out of her lives,

507
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 3: the commentary replied, saying, mmeshment is the word. My guess

508
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,160
Speaker 3: is she hasn't got a romantic life of her own,

509
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 3: and if she's married, her husband ignores her, so she

510
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:16,400
Speaker 3: gets what she needs emotionally from the man she raised. Hmm,

511
00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 3: that's right, she originally said, like no one's good enough

512
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,719
Speaker 3: for my son. Yeah, forgought about that. It always comes back. Yeah.

513
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 3: The hardest part of the scenario is when a husband

514
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,480
Speaker 3: is too spineless to correct her. I know from experience.

515
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,960
Speaker 3: I wish I knew what to tell you, but he'll

516
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:33,560
Speaker 3: have to be the one to shut her down. And

517
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:38,440
Speaker 3: unfortunately the boundaries you can control are ultimatums and no contact,

518
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 3: resulting in you being the easy to go to labeled

519
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 3: scapegoat and villain. I wish you much sluck, and I'm

520
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:48,679
Speaker 3: so sorry you have to deal with that, which I

521
00:26:48,760 --> 00:26:52,879
Speaker 3: lived nine miles from my monster in haws crazy, oh my,

522
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 3: and two thousand and five hundred from my own kin,

523
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 3: what a mistake. I hope she doesn't destroy your marriage.

524
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,400
Speaker 3: And that is the end of that story.

525
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,359
Speaker 2: My mother in law tried to replace me, so I

526
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 2: went no contact to save my sanity, as you should,

527
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 2: Oh Josh, it's going to be a lengthy post about

528
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 2: how my mother in law has traded her access to

529
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,119
Speaker 2: our lives for the chance to get her jolly's making

530
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,560
Speaker 2: snide remarks. Dear husband thirty eight male and I thirty

531
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,720
Speaker 2: eight female have been together for six years with a

532
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 2: one year old. We both work full time and my

533
00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 2: parents live abroad while my in laws live in the

534
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,360
Speaker 2: same city. While I've tried to be patient, my mother

535
00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 2: in law's constant interference and Mimi me character has become exhausting.

536
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from dance Head twenty four

537
00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 2: to six. And if you want to submit your own stories,

538
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:44,679
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay. Storytime is Sepreddit and

539
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 2: I'm Angie and I'm Savannah, and we're here.

540
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 3: To give good advice goofly, but we don't have all

541
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 3: the answers, so we're just gonna guess what we would

542
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 3: do in this situation, Let us know what you would

543
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,200
Speaker 3: do in the comments, so OPI says. A day before

544
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 3: our wedding, mother in law told husband, don't plan anything yet.

545
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 3: She isn't looking one hundred percent. That's daunting. Don't plan

546
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,720
Speaker 3: a wedding yet. But I won't tell you.

547
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 2: Why you like grace it is. She was insinuating and

548
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 2: not to plan on getting pregnant because I wasn't looking perfect.

549
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 3: Why was she even thinking about our wedding nights. She

550
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:23,160
Speaker 3: then spent years telling us not to have kids because

551
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,880
Speaker 3: they'll ruin your life and just kid cats like great,

552
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 3: thanks mom for letting me know that kids have ruined

553
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 3: your life.

554
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,160
Speaker 2: Thanks mom, Love it, love it. When we bought our house,

555
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 2: she made negative remarks about traffic, noise and train sounds.

556
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,880
Speaker 2: Instead of congratulating us, she redirected the conversation to herself,

557
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 2: talking about her friend in the hospital, as if our

558
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 2: house purchase.

559
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 3: Wasn't a big deal. When we announced our pregnancy, she

560
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 3: ruined it with.

561
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:47,080
Speaker 2: Oh, well, if you had bought a house near ours,

562
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 2: I would have helped you raise the kid.

563
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,240
Speaker 3: She then spent the next two years telling us one

564
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 3: kid is enough, don't have more, the second child will

565
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 3: be bad and ruined your life like mine did. Oh

566
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,880
Speaker 3: my God, constantly saying this in front of me when

567
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 3: I was six months pregnant. She even joked that husband.

568
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 2: Should quote borrow an egg from her niece, suggesting her

569
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 2: son have offspring with her niece in front of his

570
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 2: pregnant wife. Because our little one was due on Christmas Day,

571
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 2: husband said that we wouldn't be doing Christmas presents that year.

572
00:29:20,440 --> 00:29:22,840
Speaker 2: Despite this, mother in law brought her a diary to

573
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 2: our house and got offended.

574
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 3: When I gently reminded her, she sarcastically said, oh, I

575
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,720
Speaker 3: thought you would still have a huge Christmas feast, a

576
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:32,920
Speaker 3: big tree in the front yard and all the lights

577
00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 3: and decorations. A week later, she repeated this taunt in

578
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 3: front of her friend, deliberately embarrassing us. Yeah, it's like, sorry,

579
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 3: I'm too busy being nine months pregnant. Dude, I can't

580
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,080
Speaker 3: I don't want to put up all these lights. I

581
00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,760
Speaker 3: couldn't go up on a ladder, right, I just couldn't

582
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 3: hang these lights. There's something in the way. Yeah. And

583
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:54,200
Speaker 3: then even if he did that, it's like, when are

584
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 3: you gonna have time after your newborn is there to

585
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,800
Speaker 3: take them down, like, come on, you gotta think realistically.

586
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 2: The day before I was due for delivery, mother in

587
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 2: law spent eight hours at our house doing nothing to help.

588
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: She told me we should stop at one child because

589
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 2: a second would be quote bad like her second son

590
00:30:12,800 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 2: and ruin our lives.

591
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,200
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm pretty sure this is their second child.

592
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 3: But what does she keep saying?

593
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know, maybe this is the first child,

594
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 2: and I'm like misunderstanding, But either way, I mentioned I'm

595
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 2: the second of three siblings and was the easiest child.

596
00:30:28,640 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 3: Her response, then, why didn't your mother stop at two?

597
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 3: Why did she have three kids? She later added, when

598
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 3: you have kids so late, it'll be hard to look

599
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:42,160
Speaker 3: after grandkids, essentially calling me too old to have children. Ironically,

600
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,720
Speaker 3: mother in law still holds anger towards her own mother

601
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 3: in law, who passed away decades ago, for saying something

602
00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 3: similar to her thirty eight years ago. We love a hypocrite.

603
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 3: We love to see a hypocrite. No, literally, we love it.

604
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,880
Speaker 3: Yet here she is doing the exact same thing she's

605
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,840
Speaker 3: resented for decades. When we had our baby, she showed

606
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,440
Speaker 3: up at the hospital with a large Sully toy and

607
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 3: sulked to husband that I didn't seem excited enough that

608
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,560
Speaker 3: toy ended up in the bin. Mother in law made

609
00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 3: my postpart I'm all about her constantly pressuring husband for updates, photos,

610
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 3: and invitations, even after we told her I'm not Christian

611
00:31:17,800 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 3: and husband considers himself an atheist, she kept pushing for

612
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 3: a christening. One day, after I fed the baby and

613
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:27,479
Speaker 3: passed him to husband for burping, he immediately handed him

614
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,560
Speaker 3: to mother in law. She said, passive aggressively, Oh, I'm

615
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 3: allowed to hold him now, am I? Husband replied not

616
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 3: if you talk like that, We're already exhausted with a newborn.

617
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 3: Instead of apologizing, she started crying and said, I'm not

618
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 3: feeling loved. Do you even want me in his life?

619
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 2: And her tears vanished the moment she turned around. It

620
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 2: felt performative when I asked her to wash her hands

621
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,320
Speaker 2: before holding her newborn, especially after playing with our dog,

622
00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,440
Speaker 2: and given that she gets cold stores.

623
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 3: She completely ignored my requests. The next time she visited,

624
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:02,040
Speaker 3: husband sheepishly at her to wash her hand. She snapped back,

625
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 3: do you wop it a shower as well? She was furious,

626
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 3: and I could see why husband is so hesitant to

627
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 3: stand up to her. Mother in law brought many legos

628
00:32:10,760 --> 00:32:13,480
Speaker 3: labeled for children over six years old when our little

629
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:15,920
Speaker 3: one was a newborn. I told her he was too

630
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 3: young and we didn't have room to store them for

631
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 3: six years. She said okay.

632
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 2: In the next week, she showed up with a bag

633
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 2: full of them and handed them to husband, telling him

634
00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 2: where to store them in our house. She was blatantly

635
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 2: disregarding my decision in our own house, acting like this

636
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:34,719
Speaker 2: is her son's house and I'm just temporarily living in it.

637
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 2: When husband eventually returned the legos, she made her point

638
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 2: by showing up on subsequent visits with bags full of

639
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 2: thrifted toys with choking hazards, used books, and flash cards

640
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:49,240
Speaker 2: unsuitable for a newborn. She has like flash cards for

641
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 2: like multiplication.

642
00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 3: To play around the world. Yeah, exactly.

643
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 2: She didn't ask if we wanted any of it. She

644
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 2: just dumped them in our house. We ended up throwing

645
00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 2: all of it. Mother in law invited herself to regular

646
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 2: visits by saying, on my next fortnightly visit, you no,

647
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:08,880
Speaker 2: we can't just.

648
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 3: Pass that up on fortnightly visit. Who speaks like this?

649
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 2: She didn't ask she just told us. Not once during

650
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,520
Speaker 2: those early postpartum visits did she offer to help or

651
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 2: bring food. All of our friends who visited brought food, nappies,

652
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 2: or offered to help. Father in law, on the other hand,

653
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,400
Speaker 2: tidied up without being asked and gave attention to our dog,

654
00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 2: knowing that we were adjusting to life with a newborn.

655
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 2: On husband's birthday, when little one was five weeks old,

656
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 2: husband messaged mother in law requesting she shortened her visit

657
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:41,040
Speaker 2: because we were exhausted. She ignored the text, came earlier

658
00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,560
Speaker 2: than planned and stayed until almost dinnertime. I baked a

659
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:48,360
Speaker 2: cake and arranged snacks. She brought a packet of chips,

660
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,760
Speaker 2: but took it back with her when we didn't open it,

661
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 2: asking repeatedly, are you gonna.

662
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:56,840
Speaker 3: Eat these chips? Otherwise I'll take it back. She then complained,

663
00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 3: this is the first time we didn't have a meal

664
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 3: on your birthday. Was there a reason we couldn't stay

665
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 3: for dinner? Yeah, it's this baby right here. It's the

666
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,720
Speaker 3: thing that came out of me. It's like their fault.

667
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 3: Only five weeks old, does why? That's why.

668
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 2: While we were having birthday cake, mother in law was

669
00:34:13,680 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 2: holding our crying little one. When I got up and

670
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 2: reached for my baby, she turned away from me and said, no,

671
00:34:19,480 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 2: you go eat your cake. When a mother asks for

672
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:26,759
Speaker 2: her crying newborn, one should hand the baby back. We

673
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 2: started meeting her at restaurants and parks so we could

674
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 2: leave when we were ready. However, as soon as we

675
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,479
Speaker 2: indicate we're leaving, she asks what.

676
00:34:34,400 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 3: Are we doing next? Are we going to your house?

677
00:34:37,400 --> 00:34:40,399
Speaker 3: And we mentioned other plans. She responds, oh, I thought

678
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,319
Speaker 3: we were going to your house after this? Are we

679
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 3: not going to your house? He just really really wants

680
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 3: to be in that house. Does Where's I'm gonna get

681
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,759
Speaker 3: the guest room ready right? She stares at husband, putting

682
00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 3: him on the spot and trying to make him uncomfortable.

683
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 3: At a buffet restaurant, husband and I agreed that mother

684
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 3: in law would not sit next little one because she

685
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:04,359
Speaker 3: isn't hygiene conscious. When husband got up to phillis plate,

686
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,479
Speaker 3: mother in law immediately swapped seats without asking. I told

687
00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 3: her that husband was still sitting there, but she ignored

688
00:35:10,239 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 3: me and continued interacting with the little one. I said, okay, ignoras.

689
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,720
Speaker 3: Then she grumbled and said, I'll move in a minute,

690
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 3: but didn't move. Five minutes later, after I took a

691
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 3: phone call, dear husband came up to me and said,

692
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,359
Speaker 3: Mom is very upset. Can't she sit in my seat

693
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 3: next to the little one please? That moment really hurt me.

694
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 3: Instead of speaking to me directly like an adult, mother

695
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 3: in law manipulated a husband by acting hurt behind my

696
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 3: back to convince me. By the time I walked back

697
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:39,120
Speaker 3: to the table, she was brazingly sitting in husband's seat,

698
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:41,880
Speaker 3: acting like nothing had happened. She was handing finger food

699
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 3: from her plate to little one with her bare hands

700
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,520
Speaker 3: and kept putting her fingers in little one's mouth. Why

701
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 3: are you putting your fingers in her mouth? I feel like,

702
00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:50,960
Speaker 3: where's the forks?

703
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 2: Wait?

704
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,280
Speaker 3: You know you don't just for a little one, no intensils.

705
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 3: They don't have some to eat out of your hands.

706
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 3: They really don't. Even if they do eat out of

707
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 3: your hands, don't have to put their hands in their mouth.

708
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 3: What's up with that? Here comes her right like that's

709
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,959
Speaker 3: just shoving it in the back of their throat. They're gonna

710
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,799
Speaker 3: choke eat it? A't it? Goodness? I hate your mom?

711
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:14,560
Speaker 3: I mean, you're gonna eat it? Right?

712
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:19,360
Speaker 2: I immediately pulled little one's chair away and firmly said

713
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:20,280
Speaker 2: no biting.

714
00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,480
Speaker 3: Wait wait what wait, you blamed it on the child,

715
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 3: said that to your child, no biting.

716
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 2: My therapist, a grandma and mother in law herself, was

717
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,680
Speaker 2: shocked at how often my mother in law contacted us,

718
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:34,399
Speaker 2: which is multiple times a day.

719
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 3: Every single day, he gets messages about updates on her

720
00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:41,760
Speaker 3: day house dramas, updates about her cats, or random Facebook things.

721
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 3: She constantly pressures husband to respond, taunting him, I guess

722
00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 3: I won't hear from you until you're back at work.

723
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 3: God forbid a thirty eight year old son, a grown

724
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,839
Speaker 3: man with a newborn, postpartum wife and a full time job,

725
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 3: should have any space. The therapist said that mother in

726
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 3: law was pulling husband into her everyday dramas when he

727
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,319
Speaker 3: was already dealing with his life. She mentioned that she

728
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 3: would love to contact her son every day too, but

729
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 3: knows that it's not healthy because he's a married man

730
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,680
Speaker 3: with a wife, two kids, and a busy job. The

731
00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 3: therapist suggested going no contact with my mother in law

732
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 3: for some time to clear my mind. So I went

733
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,960
Speaker 3: no contact before she could drain the last of our

734
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 3: energy and destroy the peace in our home. As I

735
00:37:19,280 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 3: slowly began distancing myself, mother in law noticed and suddenly

736
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 3: changed her tune, messaging about dropping off chicken soup to quote,

737
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,840
Speaker 3: give us a break, mind you, our little one is

738
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,760
Speaker 3: almost a year old. Now where was all this kindness before?

739
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:36,280
Speaker 3: Classic love bombing from someone who senses that they're losing control. Yeah,

740
00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,840
Speaker 3: that's exactly what's happening. Yeah, honestly, Yeah, very very intuitive

741
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:40,719
Speaker 3: to know that. Right.

742
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,520
Speaker 2: Husband takes little one to visit our in laws once

743
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:45,840
Speaker 2: a month, but it's sad that father in law, a

744
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 2: wonderful and kind man, doesn't get to see little one

745
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 2: more often because of mother in law. Father in law

746
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,920
Speaker 2: always made us feel loved, genuinely cares about us, and

747
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,480
Speaker 2: offers help where he can. He's giving and warm, the

748
00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,880
Speaker 2: complete opposite of mother in law, who is unhappy, always pessimistic,

749
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 2: and consumed with her own feelings. I suggested to husband

750
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 2: that we catch up with just father in law, but

751
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 2: he's too scared of the pity party that will ensue

752
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 2: if we leave mother in law behind. Mother in law

753
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 2: doesn't even let a husband and father in law spend

754
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:15,440
Speaker 2: time together on their own. It's like husband was never

755
00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:18,280
Speaker 2: allowed to have his own separate connections with his extended

756
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 2: family members even as an adult. Most of our marital

757
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:23,840
Speaker 2: arguments stemmed from mother in law's meddling, and the ripple

758
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 2: effect of her interference still.

759
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 3: Causes tension between us.

760
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 2: Husband never stood up for himself, let alone for me,

761
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,600
Speaker 2: and thinking about how this miserable mother in law caused

762
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,399
Speaker 2: cracks in our marriage makes me so acrete. Husband has

763
00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:39,520
Speaker 2: been conditioned to be responsible for his mother's feelings, and

764
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 2: he lets that obligation dictate his life choices even as

765
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:45,879
Speaker 2: an adult, putting strain on our relationship because of her.

766
00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,239
Speaker 2: Mother in law has missed out on so much of

767
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 2: this special time. It's heartbreaking because he truly deserves to

768
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 2: be part of the little one's life. It's also sad

769
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 2: to come to terms with the fact that our children

770
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 2: won't have the kind of involved grandparents that I always

771
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 2: hoped for. I often wish my own parents lived closer,

772
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 2: and I often wish that you would listen to full

773
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 2: episodes of more stories just like this one. Just go

774
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:10,240
Speaker 2: to Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, or whatever your favorite podcast

775
00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 2: app is and search Okay, story time.

776
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,479
Speaker 3: You could do just that, but there is a little

777
00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 3: bit more to the story. But yeah, that must be

778
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 3: hard to like understand your husband's past with this woman

779
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:26,640
Speaker 3: and not really know what to do about it. Yeah.

780
00:39:26,719 --> 00:39:30,239
Speaker 3: I feel like this one is kind of like have

781
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:33,319
Speaker 3: Zi's on the mom and the right, Like it's like,

782
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 3: I want to abide by what my wife says, but

783
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:40,479
Speaker 3: also that's my mom, you know, that's the other two. Yeah,

784
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 3: they were like sister. Yeah, yeah, but like we already know.

785
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:48,719
Speaker 3: But like it seems like he doesn't want to lose her,

786
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:52,920
Speaker 3: and I'm sure that she being in she is is

787
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 3: making him feel bad about you know, like not letting

788
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 3: her do this and and her and her and her

789
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:03,239
Speaker 3: like that's you know what they do, so exactly. Yeah,

790
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 3: I feel like it's like, yes, you can understand how

791
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 3: this all happened. I mean, it's gotta be throughout childhood,

792
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 3: you know. But then it's like you don't really know

793
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:14,800
Speaker 3: what to do about it, especially if he's not really

794
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,520
Speaker 3: noticing it and noticing that it's a problem. So yeah,

795
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 3: it's very, very frustrating. But there is a little bit

796
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 3: more to the story. Let's have this on up. Some

797
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 3: people like my mother in law mistake kindness and respect

798
00:40:25,440 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 3: for weakness until the person they've been mistreating finally sets boundaries.

799
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:32,120
Speaker 3: She had every chance to treat me with respect from

800
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 3: the beginning, but instead chose past aggression, sarcasm, taunting, and

801
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,359
Speaker 3: snide remarks. Now that I've stopped playing.

802
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 2: The pushover role she expected, she's realizing she no longer

803
00:40:41,680 --> 00:40:44,400
Speaker 2: has the control she once did. Her sudden desire to

804
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 2: quote start over doesn't feel like remorse. It feels like

805
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,600
Speaker 2: she wants back the control and attention. Since going no

806
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 2: contact with.

807
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,760
Speaker 3: My mother in law a year ago, I feel much

808
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 3: more at peace. She brought negativity, lacked empathy, and drained

809
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:00,960
Speaker 3: us emotionally. Life without her had it's been calmer, and

810
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 3: I hope this piece continues, even if she's pressuring my

811
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:07,120
Speaker 3: husband to reconnect and that is the end of that story.

812
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 1: Sam here og Hos, We're going to get back to

813
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,000
Speaker 1: these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors.

814
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:15,920
Speaker 4: First, my child's school lied about calling CPS on me

815
00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:17,920
Speaker 4: just because I miss their calls.

816
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:18,880
Speaker 3: I hate that.

817
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 4: I hate that our daughter seven started school last month.

818
00:41:24,880 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 4: I told the front office, under no circumstances should they

819
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 4: call me if something happens.

820
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 3: To her, Especially Wednesday Thursday, or Friday. That's crazy. She

821
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:42,520
Speaker 3: is truly under no circumstances. That is what is saying

822
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 3: funny to me.

823
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:45,560
Speaker 4: I work and I am not allowed to have my

824
00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 4: phone on my person while working. They were told explicitly

825
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 4: to call her father, who works overnight but is home

826
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 4: all day. As a result, that makes more sense. Okay,

827
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from less Roll forty eight

828
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 4: twenty four. And if you want to smit your own stories,

829
00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 4: go to the r slash Okay story times. I'm Sophia

830
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,560
Speaker 4: and I'm Riley, and we're here to give good advice.

831
00:42:04,600 --> 00:42:06,759
Speaker 3: Goofiy. But we don't have all the answers. We only

832
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:08,640
Speaker 3: know what we'd do, So let us know what you

833
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,000
Speaker 3: would do in the commons.

834
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,800
Speaker 4: And ohp says I got to my lunch break today

835
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:18,440
Speaker 4: and what do I find but sixteen missed calls from

836
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 4: the school. I assumed she had been hospitalized or there

837
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:25,360
Speaker 4: was an active shooter, something horrible that warranted sixteen calls

838
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,200
Speaker 4: to the parent they were told not to call. I

839
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 4: called the school frantically before even looking at my voicemail

840
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 4: and found that they called me because she threw up

841
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:38,840
Speaker 4: threw up blood. Nope, just regularly throw up but because

842
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:42,759
Speaker 4: I did not answer, this woman considered it abandonment and

843
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 4: made a call to CPS. I asked if they had

844
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 4: called my husband. Nope, just me and I did not answer,

845
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 4: which is not allowed. I called him and he went

846
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 4: to pick her up. There was a woman sitting with

847
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,720
Speaker 4: her in the nurse's office who was also there during

848
00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 4: orientation night, but she was not our kid's teacher or administrations,

849
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 4: so we did not get introduced to her. As soon

850
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 4: as my husband got there, she's scurried off, and when

851
00:43:07,560 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 4: he asked the woman at the front desk who she was,

852
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 4: she reiterated that she had called someone about your wife

853
00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 4: abandoning your daughter, and she told them if it happened again,

854
00:43:17,320 --> 00:43:19,400
Speaker 4: it would be a lot more serious, and we should

855
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 4: consider making sure her mom is always there when her

856
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 4: kid needs her, which again feels super gender Rosie. It's like,

857
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,240
Speaker 4: oh dad, we're not gonna call dad, Gotta be mom.

858
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:32,480
Speaker 3: It's also still like to be like.

859
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 5: I called someone about your wife. Yeah, you should really

860
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:36,759
Speaker 5: figure something out with her.

861
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:40,879
Speaker 4: Your wife so weird, way way off, way off.

862
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 3: You know what you should do? What you know?

863
00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 2: What?

864
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:42,760
Speaker 3: Actually?

865
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:44,840
Speaker 5: Ope you should do. Here's my advice. Ye go to

866
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:45,960
Speaker 5: the office, throw.

867
00:43:45,800 --> 00:43:48,320
Speaker 3: Up, Yeah, what are you gonna do? What are you

868
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 3: gonna do?

869
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,640
Speaker 4: There's no way that a CPS agent is just hanging

870
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:54,239
Speaker 4: around this school at all times and did not bother

871
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:57,399
Speaker 4: to stick around to lecture a parent who abandoned their

872
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 4: kid when they showed up. I think they lied because

873
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,440
Speaker 4: they do not like that dad is supposed to be

874
00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 4: their primary point of contact. I think, so I'm going

875
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 4: to follow up with the principal when I have calmed down,

876
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 4: of course, but what the actual f and some of

877
00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 4: Opie's comments, Commoner says, is it documented that you are

878
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 4: unavailable for those three days? Or is dad listed as

879
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 4: the primary contact? OPI says both. He was all written

880
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 4: down explicitly when we were filling everything out. He's the

881
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:27,319
Speaker 4: primary and I'm secondary with special instruction. Her grandmother is

882
00:44:27,400 --> 00:44:28,640
Speaker 4: the emergency contact.

883
00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 3: And also wasn't called yeah, get me MOA in here.

884
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 4: Truly, Like as I've worked with kids at like a

885
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:38,799
Speaker 4: summer camp, and one the amount of times that I've

886
00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 4: had to wait at like the after school care for

887
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,319
Speaker 4: all the kids to get picked up, and you're waiting

888
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:47,399
Speaker 4: there for like an hour and you're calling, No one's

889
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:52,840
Speaker 4: picking up. That's like classic childcare. There's some kids it

890
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:54,879
Speaker 4: takes a while for them to get picked up. You're

891
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 4: not calling CPS, you know, unless it's like everyone needs

892
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 4: to leave, like we actually gotta go.

893
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 5: Sophia had summer camp, just like calls once picked up, Well,

894
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,400
Speaker 5: all right, there's another one.

895
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:10,680
Speaker 3: To gotta send that to kids to CPS. Bye.

896
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 4: I would also exhaust all of the people on the

897
00:45:14,080 --> 00:45:17,600
Speaker 4: list before I make sixteen calls to one person. Crazy

898
00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,239
Speaker 4: top Commoner says, make sure it's well documented. They need

899
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:23,200
Speaker 4: to follow the communication orders you give them. They don't

900
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:26,680
Speaker 4: get to decide that the mother must answer. I threaten

901
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,760
Speaker 4: a lawsuit if they continue this behavior and make false

902
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:33,439
Speaker 4: CPS reports. Op says, it's all in writing and has

903
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:36,319
Speaker 4: been since we first started filling out the paperwork. If

904
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 4: you mean the woman claiming she called CPS, Unfortunately I

905
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 4: only had that conversation over the phone call and not

906
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 4: a text message, Commoner says, CPS will provide you with

907
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:49,680
Speaker 4: a letter to document the investigation and then another letter

908
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 4: to confirm that it was founded or if no evidence

909
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 4: was found, you can call CPS and ask them to

910
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:58,880
Speaker 4: confirm if you're being investigated. If the school didn't exhaust

911
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 4: all means of contact. CPS is way too overburdened to

912
00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:06,239
Speaker 4: send someone to investigate. This sounds like BS to scare you.

913
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:10,319
Speaker 4: OP says, I'm almost positive it is. There's no way

914
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,319
Speaker 4: an actual CPS person wouldn't have at least spoken to

915
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:16,080
Speaker 4: my husband when he showed up. Whether they really believed

916
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,800
Speaker 4: this was abandonment or not. Commoner says, I'm willing to

917
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:21,680
Speaker 4: bet it was a school counselor or social worker if

918
00:46:21,719 --> 00:46:25,720
Speaker 4: they did complain, CBS has seventy two hours to follow

919
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:29,320
Speaker 4: up if substantiated. OP says that would make more sense.

920
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:32,480
Speaker 4: They definitely work there and aren't a direct teacher, and

921
00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,680
Speaker 4: the counselors are split up based on student last names,

922
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:38,239
Speaker 4: so we met hers. But I know there's at least

923
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 4: five And to an idiot Commoner saying, ohp should have

924
00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:44,480
Speaker 4: had her phone regardless of the rules. I'm including one

925
00:46:44,560 --> 00:46:47,439
Speaker 4: comment from OP because I liked it. OP says, no,

926
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:49,720
Speaker 4: it's not allowed on my person period.

927
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:50,560
Speaker 3: Nothing.

928
00:46:50,600 --> 00:46:53,960
Speaker 4: What the battery is that isn't distributed by the company itself,

929
00:46:54,080 --> 00:46:56,759
Speaker 4: and our assigned pagers do not allow outside calls. I

930
00:46:56,760 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 4: feel like ope's like some sort of healthcare Oh oh,

931
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 4: what saying so much more, saying I was about to

932
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:03,319
Speaker 4: be here, Like.

933
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 3: Wow, Like what she's in CIA. She's out on the field.

934
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:14,279
Speaker 3: She is five years undercover. She actually works for CPS. Yeah,

935
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 3: she's a CPS. She takes a call, she's like she

936
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:21,800
Speaker 3: doesn't answer the her phone call, but does answer the

937
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:25,880
Speaker 3: call to CBS. Hello. She's like, Hello, my child threw up.

938
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:31,160
Speaker 3: I'll call I have to report this to myself. Looking

939
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 3: in the mirror, I have to, I have to.

940
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 4: You can look at your phone on your brakes. Hello, Well,

941
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 4: what do you think people did before cell phones? Do

942
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:41,920
Speaker 4: you think kids were just keeling over in the nurse's

943
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 4: office because the home phone wasn't picked up and the

944
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:47,560
Speaker 4: office was too stupid to try anything else. Later in

945
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,160
Speaker 4: the common thread to no job is too important not

946
00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:52,200
Speaker 4: to let you have your phone for your kid when

947
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 4: the battery and the phone signal could disrupt the equipment

948
00:47:55,239 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 4: or cause excess static and cost tens of thousands of

949
00:47:58,640 --> 00:47:59,640
Speaker 4: dollars in damages.

950
00:47:59,680 --> 00:47:59,920
Speaker 3: It it is.

951
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:02,880
Speaker 4: I feel like, if you're like a pilot, probably shouldn't

952
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 4: have your phone. Maybe, like if you're a bus driver, yeah,

953
00:48:06,280 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 4: probably shouldn't be looking.

954
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 3: At your phone.

955
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 4: I feel like there are a lot of jobs where

956
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 4: you shouldn't be looking at your phone.

957
00:48:12,680 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, and this woman asked, we discussed could be anything

958
00:48:15,239 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 5: from a nurse to a pilot, to a CI agent.

959
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:22,759
Speaker 5: Maybe maybe a bus driver, yeah, on the weekend volunteer.

960
00:48:25,080 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 4: It's just anything that involves your kids, especially when that

961
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 4: person has other family members who should be called first.

962
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:35,120
Speaker 4: And there is an update a week later. But what

963
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:38,520
Speaker 4: do you think OP should do about these crazy teachers?

964
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 5: Like, I know somebody in the comments was like, oh,

965
00:48:41,760 --> 00:48:44,799
Speaker 5: you can threaten a lawsuit. I'm like, you know, keep

966
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:45,120
Speaker 5: it in.

967
00:48:45,080 --> 00:48:48,400
Speaker 3: Your back pocket. Okay, there's nothing to.

968
00:48:48,320 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 5: Do other than just like go in she said, just

969
00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:52,399
Speaker 5: going to talk to the principal, which feels good.

970
00:48:52,480 --> 00:48:54,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, like, hey, this is what happened. This is what

971
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:57,799
Speaker 3: needs to knock you on them again for it. Like, yeah,

972
00:48:57,880 --> 00:48:58,720
Speaker 3: I wouldn't.

973
00:48:58,360 --> 00:49:00,160
Speaker 4: Worry about I think that you could totally go to

974
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:02,200
Speaker 4: the principle and be like these are the complaints I have.

975
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:05,680
Speaker 4: If this continues, I will, for you know, follow up

976
00:49:05,719 --> 00:49:06,440
Speaker 4: with further action.

977
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:10,200
Speaker 3: I have the CIA on my side. Yeah, don't full

978
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:10,680
Speaker 3: up the bat.

979
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, iah do the thing that they do in

980
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 4: like TV shows where they just go CIA.

981
00:49:15,080 --> 00:49:18,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, fashion fast. Ooh, sorry, that was my bus driver. Yes,

982
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 3: let me sorry, it second to my health. Oh that's

983
00:49:20,680 --> 00:49:22,480
Speaker 3: my nurse. Here we go.

984
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 4: Update to answer the most common questions, The school had

985
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 4: documentation to call my husband or his mother ever since

986
00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 4: be enrolled there. I double checked our computer portal with

987
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:35,320
Speaker 4: the school website and it's still listed that way, including

988
00:49:35,360 --> 00:49:38,200
Speaker 4: that I can't be contacted for anything that might be

989
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:40,880
Speaker 4: time sensitive. I cannot have my phone on my person

990
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:44,760
Speaker 4: while I'm working period. My workplace has an automatic answering

991
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:47,839
Speaker 4: machine for public calls, so even if the school did

992
00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:50,440
Speaker 4: call them, I wouldn't get the message for probably another

993
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:53,799
Speaker 4: half hour at absolute best. Even then, I work about

994
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:56,959
Speaker 4: thirty to forty minutes away if traffic is good. Yes,

995
00:49:57,200 --> 00:50:00,120
Speaker 4: I am in a more traditional area, although it's it's

996
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,799
Speaker 4: never been too huge of a deal before, besides having

997
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,239
Speaker 4: to commute to the city for work. This is not

998
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:07,200
Speaker 4: going to be the super dramatic update I'm sure a

999
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:08,439
Speaker 4: lot of people were hoping for.

1000
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 3: Sorry.

1001
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,800
Speaker 4: First off, I did not jump straight to getting attorney

1002
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 4: to threaten them. I did call and ask a local

1003
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:16,759
Speaker 4: family law firm, and the person I spoke to told

1004
00:50:16,800 --> 00:50:19,040
Speaker 4: me if we did have to go as far as suing,

1005
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 4: it would look better to try to exhaust options on

1006
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 4: my own before threatening legal action. But they would be

1007
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:28,279
Speaker 4: happy to look over any communications between us, and we

1008
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:30,680
Speaker 4: could see them on any emails and ask me to

1009
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:34,560
Speaker 4: get any information on the potential neglect and abandonment case

1010
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:37,040
Speaker 4: I could while they looked into it as well. I

1011
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,640
Speaker 4: started by sending a follow up email to the principal

1012
00:50:39,719 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 4: and c see the superintendent and law person on it,

1013
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:45,520
Speaker 4: asking for confirmation that they had checked our file for

1014
00:50:45,560 --> 00:50:48,360
Speaker 4: who to call, more details on who exactly was spoken

1015
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 4: to at CPS, any case numbers, and the name of

1016
00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 4: the person who was sitting alone with my sick daughter

1017
00:50:53,719 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 4: and did not speak to my husband or identify themselves. Unfortunately,

1018
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,480
Speaker 4: or maybe fortunately, the principal was out of town for

1019
00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:06,799
Speaker 4: several days with some family emergency. Principal's also CIA principal. Yeah,

1020
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:09,440
Speaker 4: Principal's like, I've got a urgent.

1021
00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 5: Business to take Yeah, and then turns out on the

1022
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 5: same mission boom buddy cop scenario.

1023
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:18,680
Speaker 3: Oh and then you need to go. Yeah. The whole

1024
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:20,840
Speaker 3: movie is I gotta pick up my kids.

1025
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 4: She's thrown up sixteen times, I gotta go, And every

1026
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:26,279
Speaker 4: time a bad guy's like.

1027
00:51:26,360 --> 00:51:29,560
Speaker 3: Oh, you'll never catch me, like, knock them out. I

1028
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 3: gotta pick up my kids exactly. Yeah.

1029
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:36,120
Speaker 4: After a day with no reply, the superintendent emailed me

1030
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:39,239
Speaker 4: directly asking for more details, and I sent them an

1031
00:51:39,239 --> 00:51:44,160
Speaker 4: email outlining exactly what had happened from our perspective, screenshots

1032
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 4: from my phone, my husband's phone, and his mother's phone

1033
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:50,240
Speaker 4: showing the phone calls and the lack of them. Monday,

1034
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:52,680
Speaker 4: the principal finally got back to us.

1035
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:54,919
Speaker 3: And we got some answers. Yay.

1036
00:51:55,320 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 4: The woman sitting with our daughter was one of the

1037
00:51:57,080 --> 00:52:00,319
Speaker 4: school counselors, just not the one assigned to her. No

1038
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 4: one actually contacted CPS. There is no case open against us.

1039
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:06,759
Speaker 4: That was just a straight up lie. The woman who

1040
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:10,240
Speaker 4: told me she had had actually called the school social worker,

1041
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:13,719
Speaker 4: not CPS, who then sent the counselor to sit with

1042
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:16,800
Speaker 4: her instead of you know, telling her that was ridiculous

1043
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:19,560
Speaker 4: or going himself. The counselor claims she was under the

1044
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:22,799
Speaker 4: impression that she was just keeping our daughter company until

1045
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:25,399
Speaker 4: the parents arrived, since there was no nurse that day.

1046
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:27,480
Speaker 4: But if that was the case, she should have at

1047
00:52:27,600 --> 00:52:30,520
Speaker 4: least said hello. Right, There is a little bit left

1048
00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:32,800
Speaker 4: to this story. Do you have any final thoughts?

1049
00:52:32,880 --> 00:52:37,400
Speaker 5: Lying about calling CPS is great, wild, that's wild crazy.

1050
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:40,320
Speaker 3: You just can't be lying. You can't be doing that.

1051
00:52:40,200 --> 00:52:42,280
Speaker 5: That's how I feel sometimes with some of these stories,

1052
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 5: where I just sit here and I joke, we just

1053
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:44,680
Speaker 5: can't be doing this.

1054
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 3: We just can't just be lying about things. Yeah.

1055
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:51,320
Speaker 4: No, I really feel like they better take some sort

1056
00:52:51,360 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 4: of action against because, like to admit that you said

1057
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:58,760
Speaker 4: I called CPS and also that that was a lie,

1058
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:01,440
Speaker 4: there's got to be some sort of like punishment for

1059
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:02,040
Speaker 4: this lady.

1060
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:06,360
Speaker 3: Gotta be something. It just ain't right. Slash the badge. Yeah, absolutely,

1061
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 3: you're under arrest.

1062
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, but Ope continues And I'm not sure if he

1063
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,960
Speaker 4: was supposed to tell me this, but apparently this is

1064
00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:17,200
Speaker 4: not the first time they've had issues with how she

1065
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:21,239
Speaker 4: responds to fathers or male caregivers in general, which I

1066
00:53:21,320 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 4: want to know. If that's the case, why didn't anyone

1067
00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:27,840
Speaker 4: do anything about it before? That's the real question. What

1068
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:32,520
Speaker 4: the f As of now? She's been suspended pending investigation. Yes,

1069
00:53:33,160 --> 00:53:35,720
Speaker 4: and Op's got a head that investigation herself.

1070
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:36,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.

1071
00:53:37,120 --> 00:53:39,600
Speaker 4: Obviously these aren't all of the details, but this is

1072
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,560
Speaker 4: the gist of it. I'm sure a lot of people

1073
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:46,280
Speaker 4: were hoping to hear I'd sue the school for defamation, intimidation, threatening,

1074
00:53:46,320 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 4: whatever else, and gotten that stupid woman fired for being

1075
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:52,880
Speaker 4: a misogynistic witch. But this is what we've got. Loel

1076
00:53:53,080 --> 00:53:55,719
Speaker 4: some of Op's comments. Commoner says, it sounds like the

1077
00:53:55,719 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 4: woman's behavior will be doing all the work of getting

1078
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:03,360
Speaker 4: her reprimanded and or fired. Opie says, hopefully fired. Commoner says,

1079
00:54:03,560 --> 00:54:06,040
Speaker 4: I'm confused because in your first story you said that

1080
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:08,160
Speaker 4: the woman sitting with your daughter took off, but that

1081
00:54:08,239 --> 00:54:10,680
Speaker 4: it was the front desk person who lectured your husband

1082
00:54:10,719 --> 00:54:13,239
Speaker 4: about you abandoning your child. It sounds to me like

1083
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:15,800
Speaker 4: both women need to have a level of discipline around

1084
00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 4: the fact that fathers can be first line caregivers. Op says, no, no,

1085
00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,359
Speaker 4: I said the woman sitting with her was the one

1086
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:27,799
Speaker 4: we didn't recognize, who was not her teacher or administration,

1087
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:31,160
Speaker 4: but who we'd seen at orientation. Not that she was

1088
00:54:31,160 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 4: the one who called us. But that's yeah, that story.

1089
00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:38,160
Speaker 5: My ex's mother tried to steal my child by creating

1090
00:54:38,200 --> 00:54:39,440
Speaker 5: false reports against me.

1091
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 3: Give them back, Give that back.

1092
00:54:41,719 --> 00:54:45,440
Speaker 5: This comes directly from the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

1093
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:48,840
Speaker 5: M M quaint op says, I thirty five female am

1094
00:54:48,920 --> 00:54:52,319
Speaker 5: married to a thirty seven male and I have one son,

1095
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:55,719
Speaker 5: ten from a previous relationship. The bio dad has never

1096
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:58,440
Speaker 5: met my son and has never tried. The bio dad's

1097
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:01,799
Speaker 5: mom will call her Bar has been involved in my

1098
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 5: son's life since around eight months or so.

1099
00:55:03,719 --> 00:55:04,399
Speaker 3: By the way, this.

1100
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:08,040
Speaker 5: Comes from Independent Shift nine two three and if you

1101
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:10,080
Speaker 5: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

1102
00:55:10,160 --> 00:55:13,719
Speaker 5: slash okay storytime stub reddit. I'm Riley, I'm Sophia, and

1103
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:16,439
Speaker 5: we're here to give good advice goofully, but we don't

1104
00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:18,799
Speaker 5: have all the answers, no matter how much we might

1105
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:19,400
Speaker 5: look like it.

1106
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:21,279
Speaker 3: We only know what we would do, So let us

1107
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 3: know what you would do in the comments.

1108
00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:26,839
Speaker 5: In the comments, uh OPI says, to fully understand, it's

1109
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:29,440
Speaker 5: important to know our history. The bio dad, let's call

1110
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:31,799
Speaker 5: him Chad, was in an on and off relationship with

1111
00:55:31,840 --> 00:55:34,520
Speaker 5: me for six years. He cheated on me with multiple

1112
00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:36,319
Speaker 5: women throughout the entire relationship.

1113
00:55:36,520 --> 00:55:40,120
Speaker 3: YOI. He went overseas for schools.

1114
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:41,880
Speaker 5: We did the long distance, and he still cheated. He

1115
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 5: flunked out of his overseas school and came to mind,

1116
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:48,200
Speaker 5: cheated on me still and flunked out of first year.

1117
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:50,320
Speaker 3: Eventually, I got pregnant.

1118
00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:53,600
Speaker 5: When I was pregnant, Chad and Barb tried everything they

1119
00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:56,840
Speaker 5: could to pressure me regarding the pregnancy, slandering my character

1120
00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:59,240
Speaker 5: and trying to talk to my parents, who are very Christian.

1121
00:55:59,360 --> 00:56:02,320
Speaker 5: They called the cops and CIS on me with claims

1122
00:56:02,320 --> 00:56:05,120
Speaker 5: that I was on a downward spiral and they were concerned.

1123
00:56:05,200 --> 00:56:08,279
Speaker 5: As you can imagine, my pregnancy was very stressful. I

1124
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:10,719
Speaker 5: was taking the bus to work and medical appointments and

1125
00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:13,359
Speaker 5: working two jobs, so I had a good maternity leave

1126
00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:16,360
Speaker 5: and just felt so alone and worthless. Fast forward to

1127
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:19,000
Speaker 5: the birth of my son. Chad completely ghosted me. At

1128
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:20,920
Speaker 5: this point, all of a sudden, Barb wanted to be

1129
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:22,360
Speaker 5: involved in the baby's life.

1130
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:22,800
Speaker 3: Fine.

1131
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 5: I took initiative and brought the baby to Barb's and

1132
00:56:25,080 --> 00:56:27,520
Speaker 5: included her. Barb would become one of my main supports

1133
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:30,080
Speaker 5: during my son's infants. We got really close and bonded

1134
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:33,719
Speaker 5: over our mutual love for this child. Unfortunately, Barb has

1135
00:56:33,760 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 5: no conflict resolution skills and doesn't know how to communicate effectively.

1136
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:41,319
Speaker 4: Classic classic We wouldn't be on this reddit. Yeah, if

1137
00:56:41,360 --> 00:56:43,520
Speaker 4: we did, if we had communication skills.

1138
00:56:43,600 --> 00:56:46,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, we had a difference in opinion regarding discipline from

1139
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:48,040
Speaker 5: my child, and she called ZS on.

1140
00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:49,080
Speaker 3: Me for a second time.

1141
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:52,480
Speaker 5: Unknown to her, CES keeps track of people who make

1142
00:56:52,640 --> 00:56:56,400
Speaker 5: claims and considered this her second false claim against oo.

1143
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:59,279
Speaker 5: Barb goes to Mexico for about two months of the year,

1144
00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 5: so on this part particular year, I reached out to

1145
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:03,759
Speaker 5: her and let her know that although the CIS claim

1146
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:06,239
Speaker 5: was anonymous, I knew with certainty it was her, and

1147
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:08,879
Speaker 5: that I would not facilitate face times between them while

1148
00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 5: they were away. I let her know when she returned

1149
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,720
Speaker 5: we would have a discussion about why she called CES

1150
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:16,880
Speaker 5: and some resolutions towards this. At the time this was

1151
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:19,720
Speaker 5: all happening, I was working full time and doing university

1152
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,440
Speaker 5: courses part time. When she returned from Mexico, she wanted

1153
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:24,720
Speaker 5: to see my son. I reminded her that we would

1154
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 5: be having a discussion about the call, and also that

1155
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:29,120
Speaker 5: I was in the middle of exams and would need

1156
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 5: her to wait.

1157
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 3: Can I just say props do pie? Yeah? Work of business, university?

1158
00:57:33,680 --> 00:57:38,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, mother working university. Mother, She's slaying she's doing it

1159
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:40,080
Speaker 4: all pilots.

1160
00:57:39,520 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 3: Violet, we don't know.

1161
00:57:41,520 --> 00:57:44,920
Speaker 5: The next day, I was served with court papers claiming

1162
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:46,240
Speaker 5: parental rights with my son.

1163
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 3: Game freaking on.

1164
00:57:47,920 --> 00:57:49,960
Speaker 5: I went that entire summer with her not seeing my

1165
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:51,800
Speaker 5: son once due to the court proceedings.

1166
00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:52,439
Speaker 3: When we were.

1167
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:54,200
Speaker 5: Finally face to face in court at the end of

1168
00:57:54,240 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 5: the summer, she dropped all charges and considered this to

1169
00:57:57,200 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 5: reconcile between us.

1170
00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:05,080
Speaker 3: Okay, so we move on. That's insane. I'm sorry. Move on.

1171
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:08,600
Speaker 4: So if like I had a grandparent, mother in law

1172
00:58:08,680 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 4: or something that literally sued me to try and take

1173
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:14,040
Speaker 4: my child away from me, I'd be like, you're never

1174
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 4: seeing my kid again.

1175
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:20,000
Speaker 5: Well, and even because the mom had called beforehanded was

1176
00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:21,880
Speaker 5: pressuring her while she was pregnant, the fact that the

1177
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:24,880
Speaker 5: BARB was involved at all is she was already I

1178
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:26,040
Speaker 5: feel like on thin ice.

1179
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:28,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd be like, you're never seeing my kid. You

1180
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:29,520
Speaker 3: so crazy?

1181
00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:33,360
Speaker 5: Oh goodness, Okay, I've always had issues with Barb following

1182
00:58:33,360 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 5: my son's schedule for sleeping and whatnot. I generally found

1183
00:58:36,400 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 5: that after a night with her, he needed an extra

1184
00:58:38,480 --> 00:58:40,520
Speaker 5: day to get back on his schedule, which really sucked

1185
00:58:40,520 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 5: for me as a single working mom, But honestly, I

1186
00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:44,920
Speaker 5: just appreciated so much that she loved him as much

1187
00:58:44,960 --> 00:58:47,360
Speaker 5: as she does. My son is now ten. In between

1188
00:58:47,400 --> 00:58:49,640
Speaker 5: all of this time, I've taken Chad to court for

1189
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 5: child support and.

1190
00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:55,200
Speaker 4: One noise noise, She's win in court case after court case.

1191
00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:58,320
Speaker 5: It's kind of an episode of leg just slaying mothers

1192
00:58:58,360 --> 00:59:01,960
Speaker 5: in the twenty firs century. And she is taking Chad

1193
00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:04,800
Speaker 5: to court for repaying her for like fourteen years of schooling,

1194
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 5: of which he still is somehow not done with school

1195
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:10,800
Speaker 5: a professional student. Within the last few years, we've had

1196
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 5: issues with Barba and her husband buying our son whatever

1197
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 5: he wants whenever he wants, despite the cost. In her defense,

1198
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 5: Barb's two sons don't speak to her or want anything

1199
00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:21,360
Speaker 5: to do with her, so my son is her only

1200
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:23,680
Speaker 5: person to spend money on. We've asked them to please

1201
00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:26,560
Speaker 5: check in with us before they buy something, because, for example,

1202
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 5: our son was earning fifteen dollars for something he really

1203
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:30,960
Speaker 5: wanted and we had chores in place for him to

1204
00:59:31,000 --> 00:59:33,840
Speaker 5: achieve his goal by the weekend. Once Barb heard about this,

1205
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:36,280
Speaker 5: she made sure to hand over the remaining cash he

1206
00:59:36,360 --> 00:59:40,320
Speaker 5: needed without talking to us first, not cool, Grandma not cool?

1207
00:59:40,480 --> 00:59:43,080
Speaker 3: Why is she still like around? I don't know.

1208
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:46,240
Speaker 4: I feel like I wouldn't be allowing her, yeah, access

1209
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 4: with at least without me there to monitor.

1210
00:59:49,680 --> 00:59:52,120
Speaker 5: I feel like if I had to guess, And obviously

1211
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:54,080
Speaker 5: we can never speak for these people, but like, if

1212
00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:56,480
Speaker 5: you are a single mother who is working any of

1213
00:59:56,480 --> 01:00:00,920
Speaker 5: the yool like, yeah, and sure I probably think you

1214
01:00:00,960 --> 01:00:02,720
Speaker 5: can like okay, well we'll just handle it or d

1215
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:05,760
Speaker 5: but yeah, at some point, I also do love Opie's

1216
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:06,440
Speaker 5: little comments.

1217
01:00:06,640 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, not creaking up, not grandmamma.

1218
01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 5: She was helping us out with one day a week pickup,

1219
01:00:12,760 --> 01:00:14,960
Speaker 5: so our son knew every week that whatever he needed

1220
01:00:15,000 --> 01:00:16,880
Speaker 5: to earn would be given to him if he asked.

1221
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:19,360
Speaker 5: This is frustrating because it takes away the value of

1222
01:00:19,400 --> 01:00:21,800
Speaker 5: the lesson we're trying to teach his parents. We've expressed

1223
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:25,440
Speaker 5: this to her many, many, many times, with absolutely no change.

1224
01:00:25,440 --> 01:00:27,400
Speaker 5: In June of this year, I was getting married.

1225
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:29,920
Speaker 4: You were planning a wedding during all of this, dude,

1226
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:34,000
Speaker 4: hook you go, wonder woman over here, God speeds.

1227
01:00:34,680 --> 01:00:36,680
Speaker 5: We were going to get married at the courthouse first

1228
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:38,720
Speaker 5: and then have a small wedding after at a later date.

1229
01:00:38,880 --> 01:00:40,560
Speaker 5: We asked Barb if she could pick up our son

1230
01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:42,480
Speaker 5: from school on the day that we were going to

1231
01:00:42,520 --> 01:00:44,520
Speaker 5: the courthouse so that we could have the time to

1232
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:47,600
Speaker 5: get that done without stress. She agreed, of course, I'm

1233
01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:48,280
Speaker 5: so scared.

1234
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:51,680
Speaker 3: Uh oh, Opie's about to get sixteen. Call.

1235
01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:56,000
Speaker 5: I had to have a conversation with her about giving

1236
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:58,360
Speaker 5: my son permission to do things when we had already

1237
01:00:58,400 --> 01:01:01,680
Speaker 5: had a discussion about the expectation. And after that, she

1238
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:06,520
Speaker 5: withdrew herself from babysitting our son for our courthouse wedding.

1239
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 4: She's like, I actually don't like that you gave me

1240
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:12,640
Speaker 4: any notes, so I won't be doing this anymore at all.

1241
01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:17,120
Speaker 4: That literally, he's just trying to get freaking married. You're

1242
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:20,440
Speaker 4: trying to get married. Yeah, and this is this is crazy,

1243
01:01:20,520 --> 01:01:24,120
Speaker 4: I will say. The single mother's best friend I feel

1244
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:28,560
Speaker 4: is uh your kids friend's mom or like parent whoever's

1245
01:01:28,560 --> 01:01:31,440
Speaker 4: picking up you know, Like, yeah, you make friends with

1246
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:34,040
Speaker 4: the other parents and then they pick up your chair.

1247
01:01:34,080 --> 01:01:34,600
Speaker 3: That's the thing.

1248
01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:38,480
Speaker 5: We got to start making all their branches of support

1249
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:41,600
Speaker 5: because Barb's not cutting it. Yeah, she removed herself from

1250
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:44,240
Speaker 5: helping out weekly with our son with the intention of

1251
01:01:44,280 --> 01:01:46,560
Speaker 5: punishing me in some way. As I am used to

1252
01:01:46,560 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 5: this behavior from her, I asked my mom if she

1253
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:50,560
Speaker 5: could step in, but she was able to and we

1254
01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:52,960
Speaker 5: were able to fulfill our plans without her. I sent

1255
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:55,080
Speaker 5: her an email the next day, just letting her know

1256
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 5: that I respect her boundaries and I'm really sorry to

1257
01:01:57,280 --> 01:01:59,280
Speaker 5: hear that she wants to spend less time with our

1258
01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:01,720
Speaker 5: son because she does go to Mexico for quite a

1259
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:04,040
Speaker 5: bit and the only person that would really be missing

1260
01:02:04,040 --> 01:02:06,360
Speaker 5: out is our son. After she got this email, she

1261
01:02:06,400 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 5: thought she could reinvite herself to our wedding and replace

1262
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:13,280
Speaker 5: herself into our son's weekly needs without a conversation. I

1263
01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:16,240
Speaker 5: very quickly let her know that she uninvited herself from

1264
01:02:16,240 --> 01:02:19,120
Speaker 5: the wedding and we would not be reinviting her, and

1265
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:20,960
Speaker 5: that her decision to have less time with our son

1266
01:02:21,080 --> 01:02:23,360
Speaker 5: remains because she set that boundary and.

1267
01:02:23,280 --> 01:02:24,680
Speaker 3: I will respect her boundaries.

1268
01:02:24,880 --> 01:02:28,840
Speaker 4: Ooh nice, say, You're like, Okay, if this is what

1269
01:02:28,880 --> 01:02:30,320
Speaker 4: you want, we'll respect it.

1270
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:31,480
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1271
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:34,680
Speaker 4: It sucks because I honestly think if OP had more

1272
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:37,520
Speaker 4: supports systems, she probably would have done this way sooner. Yeah,

1273
01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:40,959
Speaker 4: but like she unfortunately, out of like necessity, needed this.

1274
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:44,640
Speaker 3: Woman, and now she you know, gotta get rid of her.

1275
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:46,360
Speaker 3: Bye bye, bar bye bye.

1276
01:02:46,680 --> 01:02:49,040
Speaker 5: I had every intention to honor her and her husband

1277
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:51,040
Speaker 5: as much as I honored my parents at my wedding,

1278
01:02:51,360 --> 01:02:53,160
Speaker 5: because I truly did feel like she was a very

1279
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:55,439
Speaker 5: important person in my life and in my son's life.

1280
01:02:55,480 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 5: So the wedding comes and goes, and she never talks

1281
01:02:57,400 --> 01:02:59,600
Speaker 5: to me about her decision to uninvite herself from the

1282
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:01,960
Speaker 5: wedding and all of the changes that occurred since she

1283
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,959
Speaker 5: removed herself. I had specifically asked for less contact between

1284
01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:07,440
Speaker 5: her and I because I was very disappointed, and I

1285
01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:09,880
Speaker 5: do feel like after the history that we've had, I

1286
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:12,720
Speaker 5: feel all done to not have a conversation about something

1287
01:03:12,760 --> 01:03:15,120
Speaker 5: like like that is so inappropriate and not all the

1288
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:17,160
Speaker 5: way I act around people that I care about. So,

1289
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:20,400
Speaker 5: as always, after time has passed, she slowly starts moving

1290
01:03:20,440 --> 01:03:22,919
Speaker 5: away from sending all of her messages into a group chat,

1291
01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:26,320
Speaker 5: which I had asked for, and she starts messaging me privately.

1292
01:03:26,600 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 5: Because I care about her and our history, I allow it.

1293
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:31,959
Speaker 5: It's nothing we haven't said before, but like you can

1294
01:03:32,000 --> 01:03:34,320
Speaker 5: see this story having like all of these things of

1295
01:03:34,400 --> 01:03:35,560
Speaker 5: like big thing.

1296
01:03:35,600 --> 01:03:38,920
Speaker 6: Cut off, okay, and kind of back and then big

1297
01:03:38,960 --> 01:03:41,880
Speaker 6: thing cut off, okay, and by I think it's frustrating

1298
01:03:41,920 --> 01:03:46,840
Speaker 6: because I think Ope again is so reliant on like rightfully,

1299
01:03:46,880 --> 01:03:48,720
Speaker 6: so she doesn't have a lot of help and so

1300
01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:51,200
Speaker 6: she does need any of this help where she can

1301
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:51,520
Speaker 6: get it.

1302
01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:54,240
Speaker 3: But it's like, yeah, it does kind of give Grandma

1303
01:03:54,680 --> 01:03:57,000
Speaker 3: or makes her feel like she can do whatever yeah want.

1304
01:03:57,200 --> 01:03:59,960
Speaker 5: Even though we've had multiple conversations about purchasing big items

1305
01:04:00,080 --> 01:04:01,920
Speaker 5: for a son without talking to us, it was almost

1306
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:04,400
Speaker 5: like it got kicked into hyperdrive after the wedding. They

1307
01:04:04,400 --> 01:04:06,680
Speaker 5: were buying our son two hundred dollars lego sets, fifty

1308
01:04:06,680 --> 01:04:09,600
Speaker 5: dollars of Roebucks, et cetera. Every single time they saw

1309
01:04:09,680 --> 01:04:11,840
Speaker 5: him without talking to us. I sent her a message

1310
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:13,440
Speaker 5: and I said, I think it's pretty gross that you

1311
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:15,760
Speaker 5: guys continue to buy big price items for a son

1312
01:04:16,000 --> 01:04:18,080
Speaker 5: when we've asked you to please check in. I said,

1313
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:20,080
Speaker 5: I no longer consider you family.

1314
01:04:20,320 --> 01:04:22,120
Speaker 3: Oh why true?

1315
01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:25,000
Speaker 5: After I sent that message, her husband sent my husband

1316
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 5: a message saying that he didn't like the way I

1317
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:29,040
Speaker 5: was talking to her and that he was the one

1318
01:04:29,080 --> 01:04:31,560
Speaker 5: that decided to purchase the toy and that I agreed

1319
01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:33,560
Speaker 5: to a small priced item and he's.

1320
01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:36,320
Speaker 3: Like you agreed to a small price. Itdem we have

1321
01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:38,480
Speaker 3: a lot of money. Yeah, two hundred dollars is not

1322
01:04:38,840 --> 01:04:43,640
Speaker 3: do bucks. It just go ahead. It's package. Le said,

1323
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 3: you want whatever you want.

1324
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:48,200
Speaker 5: Kid. Well, because my son is ten, I asked him

1325
01:04:48,280 --> 01:04:50,640
Speaker 5: to show us what toy was purchased by Papa, and

1326
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:53,479
Speaker 5: he proceeded to show me two toys that cost over

1327
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:58,160
Speaker 5: eighty dollars. I'm feeling very frustrated at this point because

1328
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:01,080
Speaker 5: it's like, I'm so clear in good size with my expectations,

1329
01:05:01,280 --> 01:05:03,720
Speaker 5: and I always welcome open communication and I will always

1330
01:05:03,760 --> 01:05:06,520
Speaker 5: express exactly how I feel about a situation and what

1331
01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:07,520
Speaker 5: I'm expecting.

1332
01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:11,200
Speaker 4: A lot of my toys were like passed down today,

1333
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:13,200
Speaker 4: you know, and I feel like that's the way toys

1334
01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:13,640
Speaker 4: should be.

1335
01:05:13,840 --> 01:05:17,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, agreed, likely used eighty dollars.

1336
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:19,959
Speaker 4: Robot No, no, no, I think you got a whole

1337
01:05:20,040 --> 01:05:23,600
Speaker 4: firm this time, you know, because like every other time

1338
01:05:23,680 --> 01:05:24,960
Speaker 4: you've said we're cutting.

1339
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:27,000
Speaker 3: You off, she leaves, she comes back.

1340
01:05:27,080 --> 01:05:29,040
Speaker 4: You let her back, and I feel like she's not

1341
01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:31,120
Speaker 4: going to learn the lesson, and she's going to keep

1342
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:34,280
Speaker 4: stomping those boundaries. Yeah, if you let her back in

1343
01:05:34,720 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 4: after saying you're not family, Yeah, because we've already said,

1344
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:41,160
Speaker 4: we've done it before. You're not family, Yeah, so let's

1345
01:05:41,200 --> 01:05:41,960
Speaker 4: stick by it.

1346
01:05:42,120 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 3: Okay.

1347
01:05:42,560 --> 01:05:44,600
Speaker 5: So I feel like her husband's saying it was a

1348
01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:46,840
Speaker 5: small ticket item is a lie, and I'm just not

1349
01:05:46,920 --> 01:05:49,440
Speaker 5: interested in having this type of relationship with other adults

1350
01:05:49,520 --> 01:05:51,560
Speaker 5: that are old enough to be my parents. After we

1351
01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:54,880
Speaker 5: received this message from Barb's husband, I decided to block her.

1352
01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:56,800
Speaker 5: My son is able to call her from his phone

1353
01:05:56,840 --> 01:05:59,280
Speaker 5: via FaceTime, and she is also able to call him

1354
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:02,840
Speaker 5: via FaceTime. I'm there's also communication open between herself and

1355
01:06:02,920 --> 01:06:05,440
Speaker 5: my husband, and so I don't feel that I personally

1356
01:06:05,480 --> 01:06:07,840
Speaker 5: need to be part of this dynamic anymore. I felt

1357
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:09,880
Speaker 5: such a relief in my nervous system knowing that she

1358
01:06:10,000 --> 01:06:12,080
Speaker 5: is blocked, and knowing that I won't have to deal

1359
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:15,360
Speaker 5: with any weird social trickery from someone who obviously doesn't

1360
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:16,680
Speaker 5: respect or truly love me.

1361
01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:20,840
Speaker 4: My they no, no, no, no, but uh that's the end.

1362
01:06:20,800 --> 01:06:23,000
Speaker 3: Of that story. Hey is John Ogi host.

1363
01:06:23,080 --> 01:06:24,600
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but a quick

1364
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:26,160
Speaker 1: free minute break of ads from our sponsors.

1365
01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:29,920
Speaker 4: My family ghosted me during a Vegas trip, so I

1366
01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:36,520
Speaker 4: cut them off. For some background, I forty five female

1367
01:06:36,520 --> 01:06:40,120
Speaker 4: come from a large family. I'm number five of six kids.

1368
01:06:40,240 --> 01:06:43,439
Speaker 4: My parents are long divorce but amicable. My dad lives

1369
01:06:43,480 --> 01:06:45,880
Speaker 4: out of state, but has plans to move back near

1370
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:48,200
Speaker 4: the rest of the family as he's getting older and

1371
01:06:48,280 --> 01:06:51,360
Speaker 4: has health issues. My mother, seventy five female, lives in

1372
01:06:51,400 --> 01:06:53,720
Speaker 4: the same city as me and has always relied on

1373
01:06:53,800 --> 01:06:56,600
Speaker 4: me heavily for help. I live the closest to her

1374
01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:59,320
Speaker 4: and have always made myself available when she needs anything.

1375
01:06:59,360 --> 01:07:02,320
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Misunderstood fifty nine. And

1376
01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:03,760
Speaker 4: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1377
01:07:03,800 --> 01:07:06,920
Speaker 4: the r slash Okay storytime subured it. I'm Sophia and

1378
01:07:06,960 --> 01:07:09,400
Speaker 4: I'm Riley, and we're here to give good advice goofily,

1379
01:07:09,480 --> 01:07:11,520
Speaker 4: but we don't have all the answers. We only know

1380
01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:13,320
Speaker 4: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

1381
01:07:13,360 --> 01:07:16,280
Speaker 4: do in the comments. And OHP says my siblings are

1382
01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:19,880
Speaker 4: not the most reliable and have bled my parents dry,

1383
01:07:20,440 --> 01:07:23,800
Speaker 4: constantly relying on them for support. I consider myself the

1384
01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:27,520
Speaker 4: most consistently stable of he's like, I don't want to

1385
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:32,520
Speaker 4: brag of an extremely stable can't knock me over with

1386
01:07:32,600 --> 01:07:37,080
Speaker 4: a bug and water. Since childhood, I've been extremely self sufficient,

1387
01:07:37,200 --> 01:07:40,600
Speaker 4: working multiple jobs my whole life. My oldest sister, Alyssa,

1388
01:07:40,680 --> 01:07:44,680
Speaker 4: passed away at thirty five years old, leaving behind two kids.

1389
01:07:45,040 --> 01:07:47,160
Speaker 4: I was twenty five at the time of her passing.

1390
01:07:47,280 --> 01:07:49,520
Speaker 4: We were very close in the years leading up to

1391
01:07:49,560 --> 01:07:52,400
Speaker 4: her passing. My sister Kara fifty five female, is the

1392
01:07:52,480 --> 01:07:56,000
Speaker 4: second oldest. Kara is a successful nurse who is divorced

1393
01:07:56,040 --> 01:07:59,479
Speaker 4: and loves to drink, but she's self sufficient. Number three

1394
01:07:59,600 --> 01:08:02,520
Speaker 4: was my Lei, who also passed away already when he

1395
01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:03,840
Speaker 4: was forty two years old.

1396
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:07,600
Speaker 3: This is so tragic, genuinely like Condolean fid Yeah.

1397
01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:10,240
Speaker 4: To lose your siblings at such a young age. Number

1398
01:08:10,240 --> 01:08:12,840
Speaker 4: four is my brother Bobby forty nine male, who has

1399
01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:17,599
Speaker 4: been a severe user his entire life. Like I said earlier,

1400
01:08:17,680 --> 01:08:21,240
Speaker 4: I'm number five. I'm married with two teenagers. Number six

1401
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:24,360
Speaker 4: is my sister Marie forty female. She has struggled most

1402
01:08:24,400 --> 01:08:27,040
Speaker 4: of her life with regular use as well. I think

1403
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:30,120
Speaker 4: the last count on her rehab stays is around forty.

1404
01:08:30,400 --> 01:08:33,679
Speaker 4: I try and stay supportive, don't quit quit. We all

1405
01:08:33,680 --> 01:08:36,360
Speaker 4: have kids. Me and Kara were the only ones to

1406
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:39,760
Speaker 4: raise our kids. Both my parents have taken in grandkids

1407
01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:42,360
Speaker 4: to raise with little to no help from their parents.

1408
01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:45,280
Speaker 4: My mother, in her retirement years, is currently raising the

1409
01:08:45,360 --> 01:08:48,559
Speaker 4: youngest grandchild, Marie's nine year old son.

1410
01:08:48,920 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 3: Wow. I am not a perfect person, but I've spent

1411
01:08:51,280 --> 01:08:52,719
Speaker 3: my life striving to be better.

1412
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:55,080
Speaker 4: I work hard to have nice things. I try to

1413
01:08:55,080 --> 01:08:57,320
Speaker 4: be an example to my kids and show them the

1414
01:08:57,400 --> 01:09:00,120
Speaker 4: right path. I've tried to rise above the stigma that

1415
01:09:00,200 --> 01:09:03,280
Speaker 4: my family is full of ecs and thieves, which brings

1416
01:09:03,320 --> 01:09:06,040
Speaker 4: me to my breaking point. Over the last few years,

1417
01:09:06,080 --> 01:09:08,600
Speaker 4: I have tried to be closer to my family. We

1418
01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:11,839
Speaker 4: get together for birthday dinners and holidays and just generally

1419
01:09:11,880 --> 01:09:13,920
Speaker 4: try to be there more for each other. I like

1420
01:09:13,960 --> 01:09:18,840
Speaker 4: to say the family can still put the fun in dysfunctional. Yeah,

1421
01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:20,280
Speaker 4: that's the attitude.

1422
01:09:20,520 --> 01:09:23,200
Speaker 3: That is the attitude to take absolutely.

1423
01:09:24,160 --> 01:09:27,799
Speaker 5: I feel like the only people saying that are either like, fully,

1424
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:31,320
Speaker 5: it's not dysfunctional, like like, oh my god, sorry, we're

1425
01:09:31,360 --> 01:09:34,320
Speaker 5: st crazy, put the fun and dysfunctional, or it's like

1426
01:09:34,640 --> 01:09:39,440
Speaker 5: you are grippy onto any strength movie they're like tumbling

1427
01:09:39,439 --> 01:09:41,519
Speaker 5: for the water and they've got a hand on.

1428
01:09:41,520 --> 01:09:43,440
Speaker 3: Like a piece of fun and dysfunctional.

1429
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:47,040
Speaker 4: Literally, over the past few years, me and Kara have

1430
01:09:47,120 --> 01:09:48,200
Speaker 4: grown quite close.

1431
01:09:48,560 --> 01:09:49,120
Speaker 3: We were not.

1432
01:09:49,120 --> 01:09:51,880
Speaker 4: Close in my younger years. We've traveled together and been

1433
01:09:51,920 --> 01:09:54,439
Speaker 4: closer now more than ever. Me and Marie have had

1434
01:09:54,439 --> 01:09:56,679
Speaker 4: our ups and downs, as she lived with dad after

1435
01:09:56,720 --> 01:09:59,360
Speaker 4: the divorce and lived out of state for years now.

1436
01:09:59,479 --> 01:10:02,040
Speaker 4: For the current situation, my family has spent the last

1437
01:10:02,120 --> 01:10:05,160
Speaker 4: year planning a trip to Vegas for my oldest nephew's wedding,

1438
01:10:05,240 --> 01:10:08,920
Speaker 4: Alyssa's son. It was me, my husband, my mother, both sisters,

1439
01:10:09,000 --> 01:10:11,439
Speaker 4: and a few of my nieces and their significant others.

1440
01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:15,160
Speaker 4: In total, between both families and a few friends, there

1441
01:10:15,200 --> 01:10:17,680
Speaker 4: were twenty five of us who traveled there. We were

1442
01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:20,200
Speaker 4: scattered around at different hotels. That's a lot of people

1443
01:10:20,240 --> 01:10:23,000
Speaker 4: to go to like one thing with. That's so like

1444
01:10:23,439 --> 01:10:27,200
Speaker 4: to plan like a to coordinate a trip is tricky, Yeah,

1445
01:10:27,240 --> 01:10:30,840
Speaker 4: and truly even without any of the other context of

1446
01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:33,360
Speaker 4: this also hard. This Reddit story could have been just

1447
01:10:33,439 --> 01:10:36,320
Speaker 4: about planning a twenty five person trip, and I, like

1448
01:10:36,840 --> 01:10:40,920
Speaker 4: yang insane. We were scattered around at different hotels. Some

1449
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:43,160
Speaker 4: of us made plans to go to shows. I made

1450
01:10:43,160 --> 01:10:45,840
Speaker 4: a few plans during free time before and after the wedding,

1451
01:10:46,200 --> 01:10:47,880
Speaker 4: but I was clear about what I was.

1452
01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:48,719
Speaker 3: Doing and when.

1453
01:10:48,920 --> 01:10:51,439
Speaker 4: If anyone wanted to tackle long it was hard to

1454
01:10:51,520 --> 01:10:53,360
Speaker 4: keep everyone in the loop, even though we had a

1455
01:10:53,360 --> 01:10:56,519
Speaker 4: group chat. I tried multiple times to join in with others,

1456
01:10:56,880 --> 01:10:59,880
Speaker 4: but was met with vague answers and never given detail.

1457
01:11:00,120 --> 01:11:04,160
Speaker 4: Yuh dang, even after hearing groups talking about things they

1458
01:11:04,200 --> 01:11:07,439
Speaker 4: were planning. That's just like twenty five person trip, though

1459
01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:10,800
Speaker 4: I don't think that should necessarily Yes, I'd been on

1460
01:11:10,840 --> 01:11:11,800
Speaker 4: a ten person.

1461
01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:14,679
Speaker 3: Trip like that was. It was like a week long trip,

1462
01:11:14,760 --> 01:11:16,320
Speaker 3: and that was tough.

1463
01:11:16,160 --> 01:11:18,479
Speaker 5: Trying to get five people on the same page about anything,

1464
01:11:18,520 --> 01:11:20,120
Speaker 5: and then multiply that by vive.

1465
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:21,080
Speaker 3: It's tricky.

1466
01:11:21,280 --> 01:11:24,360
Speaker 4: Some met at another's Airbnb for swimming and drinking. I

1467
01:11:24,479 --> 01:11:27,360
Speaker 4: asked for the address to go join them, but conveniently

1468
01:11:27,479 --> 01:11:30,920
Speaker 4: never got the info. Pre wedding Friday, I had tickets

1469
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:33,760
Speaker 4: to a show at the Sphere Cool, which was a

1470
01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:36,280
Speaker 4: bit pricey and kept anyone from wanting to join. The

1471
01:11:36,320 --> 01:11:38,360
Speaker 4: rest of the wedding day went off without a hitch.

1472
01:11:38,520 --> 01:11:41,720
Speaker 4: We all gathered to watch my nephew and his beautiful.

1473
01:11:41,240 --> 01:11:42,160
Speaker 3: Bride get married.

1474
01:11:42,320 --> 01:11:44,400
Speaker 4: Then everyone got on a party bus to take us

1475
01:11:44,400 --> 01:11:47,160
Speaker 4: around Vegas for all the fun and fun it was.

1476
01:11:47,439 --> 01:11:50,200
Speaker 4: Everyone was drinking and dancing. It was all around a

1477
01:11:50,200 --> 01:11:53,160
Speaker 4: great day. The next morning, Saturday, I had planned to

1478
01:11:53,240 --> 01:11:55,519
Speaker 4: drive out to see the Hoover Dam for a little

1479
01:11:55,520 --> 01:11:58,360
Speaker 4: sight seeing. My mom, Kara, and a niece and her

1480
01:11:58,400 --> 01:12:01,439
Speaker 4: fiance joined me and my husband. The only other set

1481
01:12:01,479 --> 01:12:03,800
Speaker 4: plan we had for the trip was getting together.

1482
01:12:03,600 --> 01:12:04,439
Speaker 3: For dinner that night.

1483
01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:07,639
Speaker 4: We had reservations at a pricey buffet. I don't think

1484
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:08,960
Speaker 4: buffets should be pricey.

1485
01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:11,559
Speaker 3: It is a fun little oxymoron, huh.

1486
01:12:11,600 --> 01:12:15,200
Speaker 4: I feel like, if you're serving yourself, shouldn't be pricey,

1487
01:12:15,439 --> 01:12:15,800
Speaker 4: sue me.

1488
01:12:16,000 --> 01:12:20,120
Speaker 3: I bet we could find it. Yeah, yeah, Vegas, I said,

1489
01:12:20,200 --> 01:12:22,120
Speaker 3: legs Las Vegas price.

1490
01:12:23,479 --> 01:12:25,439
Speaker 4: Due to the number of people, we ended up having

1491
01:12:25,479 --> 01:12:28,920
Speaker 4: to split between three tables. I originally was at the

1492
01:12:29,040 --> 01:12:31,920
Speaker 4: largest of the three. After we started taking seats, my

1493
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:35,200
Speaker 4: sister Kara became agitated as there wasn't a seat for her.

1494
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:37,560
Speaker 4: I offer to move to a further table. It was

1495
01:12:37,600 --> 01:12:39,400
Speaker 4: the farthest from the rest of the group and had

1496
01:12:39,439 --> 01:12:42,240
Speaker 4: a frosted glass wall separating I was.

1497
01:12:42,160 --> 01:12:46,160
Speaker 5: The guy to say I going to restaurants as like

1498
01:12:46,360 --> 01:12:47,000
Speaker 5: big group.

1499
01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:49,480
Speaker 3: It's tough. It's kind of a nightmare.

1500
01:12:49,840 --> 01:12:53,800
Speaker 4: Everyone's talking and then the waiter comes up. It's like, what, well,

1501
01:12:53,840 --> 01:12:55,080
Speaker 4: I guess they don't have to deal with the waiter

1502
01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:57,320
Speaker 4: because it's a buffet.

1503
01:12:56,200 --> 01:12:59,440
Speaker 3: Yeah something, Maybe you're paying for the convenience.

1504
01:12:59,520 --> 01:13:00,000
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1505
01:13:00,280 --> 01:13:02,880
Speaker 4: Dinner seemed to be going okay. We passed each other

1506
01:13:02,880 --> 01:13:05,439
Speaker 4: in the buffet line and made food suggestions for others

1507
01:13:05,439 --> 01:13:07,680
Speaker 4: to try. We would pass by the bigger group at

1508
01:13:07,680 --> 01:13:09,920
Speaker 4: tables right next to each other and check in. My

1509
01:13:10,040 --> 01:13:12,280
Speaker 4: husband at one point was at their table and try

1510
01:13:12,320 --> 01:13:14,880
Speaker 4: to ask about after dinner plans, but was met with

1511
01:13:15,040 --> 01:13:18,400
Speaker 4: blank stairs. I didn't know about that until later. Somewhere

1512
01:13:18,400 --> 01:13:20,639
Speaker 4: around the time we were thinking of moving to dessert,

1513
01:13:21,200 --> 01:13:23,920
Speaker 4: my nephew, the groom, said he was having a bathroom

1514
01:13:23,920 --> 01:13:26,000
Speaker 4: emergency and had to head up to his room for

1515
01:13:26,040 --> 01:13:29,160
Speaker 4: a bit and said goodbye. Everyone else was still there

1516
01:13:29,280 --> 01:13:31,960
Speaker 4: working on dessert. It didn't seem like too much more

1517
01:13:32,000 --> 01:13:34,720
Speaker 4: time had passed when my new niece, the bride, came

1518
01:13:34,760 --> 01:13:36,960
Speaker 4: over to say she was tired from all the last

1519
01:13:36,960 --> 01:13:39,360
Speaker 4: few days activities and was heading up to join her

1520
01:13:39,400 --> 01:13:42,479
Speaker 4: new husband for some rest. I mentioned I was gonna

1521
01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:44,360
Speaker 4: head over to the other table to get with the

1522
01:13:44,360 --> 01:13:46,920
Speaker 4: family to see what's next for the night. The bride

1523
01:13:47,000 --> 01:13:50,519
Speaker 4: got wide eyes and uncomfortable look on her face and

1524
01:13:50,560 --> 01:13:53,920
Speaker 4: said they're gone. I simply laughed. Then I looked around

1525
01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:57,719
Speaker 4: the frosted glass wall and sure as heck, it was empty,

1526
01:13:57,880 --> 01:14:01,559
Speaker 4: all gone, not a single goodbye from anyone, And now

1527
01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:02,479
Speaker 4: it's a ghost story.

1528
01:14:03,280 --> 01:14:05,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, they're all gone.

1529
01:14:05,680 --> 01:14:07,799
Speaker 4: Not knowing what else to do, me and my husband

1530
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:11,240
Speaker 4: left and headed back to the room. I was dumbfounded,

1531
01:14:11,520 --> 01:14:14,599
Speaker 4: pissed off, and hurt. The next few hours I started

1532
01:14:14,600 --> 01:14:17,880
Speaker 4: seeing the details through various social media and the family chat.

1533
01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:22,240
Speaker 4: Everyone was off together, drinking, taking picks, sending snaps, and

1534
01:14:22,280 --> 01:14:25,720
Speaker 4: even making tiktoks of the group going for tattoos.

1535
01:14:25,720 --> 01:14:32,360
Speaker 3: Hashtag tattoos with Nana. Your family's crazy. Your family is crazy.

1536
01:14:32,800 --> 01:14:36,559
Speaker 5: Like I understand your feelings being hurt and stuff like that,

1537
01:14:36,640 --> 01:14:39,280
Speaker 5: and get a goal for tattoos with Nana, But at

1538
01:14:39,280 --> 01:14:42,120
Speaker 5: the same time, maybe be grateful that you didn't.

1539
01:14:42,320 --> 01:14:43,800
Speaker 3: I don't tattoos.

1540
01:14:44,680 --> 01:14:46,519
Speaker 4: I don't know if I need to go to that.

1541
01:14:46,680 --> 01:14:49,240
Speaker 4: They were in Vegas party mode and left me behind

1542
01:14:49,280 --> 01:14:52,560
Speaker 4: without a word. My husband saw my hurt and disappointment

1543
01:14:52,560 --> 01:14:54,880
Speaker 4: and took me to gamble a bit to cheer me up.

1544
01:14:55,000 --> 01:14:58,519
Speaker 3: Hey, sweetie, thanks gamble, let's do some money. I enjoy

1545
01:14:58,600 --> 01:15:00,600
Speaker 3: some slot time. He just does not.

1546
01:15:00,960 --> 01:15:03,240
Speaker 4: I was upset at seeing everyone out together, so I

1547
01:15:03,320 --> 01:15:06,080
Speaker 4: did the only thing I could do. I simply remove

1548
01:15:06,160 --> 01:15:09,120
Speaker 4: myself from the group chat. I said nothing else to anyone.

1549
01:15:09,400 --> 01:15:12,360
Speaker 4: I didn't curse anyone out or ask why I was excluded.

1550
01:15:12,479 --> 01:15:14,200
Speaker 4: I didn't want to take what was supposed to be

1551
01:15:14,240 --> 01:15:16,599
Speaker 4: a once in a lifetime family trip and wedding and

1552
01:15:16,680 --> 01:15:20,200
Speaker 4: cause any drama for the newlyweds. The next day, Sunday,

1553
01:15:20,240 --> 01:15:22,720
Speaker 4: we were all traveling home. I got a call from

1554
01:15:22,720 --> 01:15:25,000
Speaker 4: the bride and groom thanking us for traveling out to

1555
01:15:25,040 --> 01:15:27,679
Speaker 4: be there for them, and they wished us safe travels home.

1556
01:15:27,760 --> 01:15:30,360
Speaker 4: We made it back home later Sunday night. I was

1557
01:15:30,439 --> 01:15:34,200
Speaker 4: extremely disappointed with how things ended in Vegas, but kept

1558
01:15:34,200 --> 01:15:36,599
Speaker 4: my thoughts about everything between me and my husband.

1559
01:15:36,720 --> 01:15:39,280
Speaker 5: Well, and you have to because what happens in Vegas

1560
01:15:39,320 --> 01:15:40,280
Speaker 5: does stay in Vegas.

1561
01:15:40,320 --> 01:15:43,320
Speaker 3: So actually you have lost your opportunity to ever speak

1562
01:15:43,320 --> 01:15:45,040
Speaker 3: about it. Frankly, we shouldn't.

1563
01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:47,719
Speaker 4: Be read, we should be ready talking about it. Sometime Tuesday,

1564
01:15:47,800 --> 01:15:50,400
Speaker 4: my mother attempted to call me. I wasn't ready to

1565
01:15:50,439 --> 01:15:53,040
Speaker 4: speak to her. She proceeded to text me, asking me

1566
01:15:53,160 --> 01:15:56,120
Speaker 4: to call her. I couldn't resist and replied with, oh

1567
01:15:56,240 --> 01:16:03,840
Speaker 4: you remember I exist, you must need something, Yeah, right,

1568
01:16:04,400 --> 01:16:07,479
Speaker 4: which opened the floodgates for me. I said every thought

1569
01:16:07,560 --> 01:16:11,360
Speaker 4: on my mind about feeling excluded into my hurt feelings.

1570
01:16:11,920 --> 01:16:12,680
Speaker 3: I was told I.

1571
01:16:12,640 --> 01:16:15,479
Speaker 4: Was being too sensitive and this doesn't like you, amongst

1572
01:16:15,520 --> 01:16:19,679
Speaker 4: her many many excuses. It was emotionally draining. I simply

1573
01:16:19,720 --> 01:16:22,120
Speaker 4: stopped responding. But there is a little bit left to

1574
01:16:22,320 --> 01:16:26,600
Speaker 4: this story. Any final thoughts. I actually don't know what

1575
01:16:26,960 --> 01:16:28,879
Speaker 4: to do. Others Yeah, yeah, I think.

1576
01:16:28,800 --> 01:16:30,639
Speaker 3: Just live your life. Just live your life. We can

1577
01:16:30,760 --> 01:16:33,960
Speaker 3: have conversations about it and stuff like that. But they

1578
01:16:33,960 --> 01:16:36,439
Speaker 3: have tattoos with Anana. They got tattoos with Nanna. You

1579
01:16:36,479 --> 01:16:37,200
Speaker 3: don't have a tattoo.

1580
01:16:37,280 --> 01:16:40,040
Speaker 4: I honestly don't even know if they were necessarily purposely

1581
01:16:40,600 --> 01:16:41,200
Speaker 4: excluding you.

1582
01:16:41,280 --> 01:16:42,320
Speaker 3: It feels like they weren't.

1583
01:16:42,320 --> 01:16:44,680
Speaker 4: You weren't like maybe maybe worse, it feels like they

1584
01:16:44,680 --> 01:16:46,160
Speaker 4: didn't even consider you at all.

1585
01:16:46,360 --> 01:16:49,600
Speaker 5: The bride did seem kind of surprised.

1586
01:16:49,680 --> 01:16:52,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I guess, I don't know. We don't know.

1587
01:16:52,960 --> 01:16:54,800
Speaker 4: I feel like, just don't put an effort where you're

1588
01:16:54,800 --> 01:16:55,960
Speaker 4: not seeing effort or something.

1589
01:16:56,040 --> 01:16:57,759
Speaker 3: It is kind of the moral of the story.

1590
01:16:58,040 --> 01:17:00,960
Speaker 4: Very well, said Wednesday brought us lieu of text for

1591
01:17:01,080 --> 01:17:04,759
Speaker 4: Marie again with excuses, and it isn't like you, probably

1592
01:17:04,760 --> 01:17:07,439
Speaker 4: because I've always taken the backseat to all their needs

1593
01:17:07,439 --> 01:17:10,960
Speaker 4: and feelings, basically my whole life. Marie couldn't understand how

1594
01:17:11,000 --> 01:17:14,320
Speaker 4: I was feeling. I got angry and simply stated I

1595
01:17:14,479 --> 01:17:17,360
Speaker 4: was done with being an afterthought. She asked if I

1596
01:17:17,439 --> 01:17:19,080
Speaker 4: was really breaking up with my family.

1597
01:17:19,280 --> 01:17:21,679
Speaker 3: It was a simple yes. I've spent all my life

1598
01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:24,160
Speaker 3: being the one no one had to worry about. I

1599
01:17:24,280 --> 01:17:26,720
Speaker 3: was hard working, moved out at a young age, and

1600
01:17:26,760 --> 01:17:30,479
Speaker 3: I've been self sufficient. I never asked for help. My

1601
01:17:30,560 --> 01:17:33,799
Speaker 3: parents both struggle in their retirement years after spending everything

1602
01:17:33,840 --> 01:17:37,720
Speaker 3: they had supporting my siblings or raising their kids. It

1603
01:17:37,800 --> 01:17:40,040
Speaker 3: made me feel like the black sheep for having my

1604
01:17:40,120 --> 01:17:41,960
Speaker 3: crat together. Am I the ale for.

1605
01:17:41,920 --> 01:17:44,400
Speaker 4: Deciding to go no contact and cut those out of

1606
01:17:44,439 --> 01:17:47,720
Speaker 4: my life for ghosting me without a second thought. And

1607
01:17:47,880 --> 01:17:50,680
Speaker 4: that is the end of that story.