WEBVTT - Eventually Good Advice with Justin Long 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:04.600 Hi everybody. Hi Catherine, how are you Hi. I'm doing great. 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:06.720 I love your Dear Chelsea hat and that you wear 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:09.560 it now every episode. Thank you. It's my new look. 0:00:09.680 --> 0:00:13.120 I know it's very vivacious and I love the coloring. Yeah. 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:16.680 Our Dear Chelsea merch is available on Chelsea handler dot com. 0:00:16.760 --> 0:00:20.320 We are in California, back in our studio. This is 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:23.520 a very exciting time to be alive. We have a 0:00:23.560 --> 0:00:26.200 guest today. We have some letters that you wanted to 0:00:26.239 --> 0:00:28.680 go over right and write in. You know what. We 0:00:28.800 --> 0:00:34.800 got an update from our caller Alexa, whose parents had 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:39.240 started dating each other again after her dad had cheated. 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:41.000 She was the one who caught her dad having an 0:00:41.040 --> 0:00:43.360 affair while trying to take that test, and her parents 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:45.880 had split up and we're dating again, and she found 0:00:45.920 --> 0:00:50.200 it really yucky. But she says, Hi, Chelsea, I hope 0:00:50.320 --> 0:00:53.080 you're doing well. I wanted to thank you both and 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:55.320 Tinks for taking the time to speak with me and 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:58.720 provide insight on my situation. I took your advice and 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:01.760 stopped letting my parents to suation weighs so heavily on me. 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:04.840 Since then, I've been able to repair my relationship with 0:01:04.880 --> 0:01:08.520 my dad. Awesome. We're making plans for the future to 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:11.240 cook together since we're both foodies, and even go to 0:01:11.280 --> 0:01:16.160 a Hayme concert. Oh wow, my family, I think it's 0:01:16.400 --> 0:01:18.920 is it him? I think? So go to a Heim concert. 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:21.399 They once, they once sang a song in my garage 0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:24.440 for my last TV show, and I think I called 0:01:24.480 --> 0:01:27.440 them ham and was corrected. But you know what, I'm 0:01:27.520 --> 0:01:31.560 usually fucking wrong, so well, I appreciate it. So we 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:34.639 made plans to go to a Heim concert. My family 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:36.840 and I have been able to have more meaningful and 0:01:36.959 --> 0:01:40.360 intentional conversations, and we're showing up for one another in 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:43.920 ways we haven't before. Life is too short to let 0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:46.800 things affect you that are out of your control. I 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:49.280 greatly appreciate all you do and hope you come back 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:51.400 to Florida for a show soon, although I don't blame 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:52.640 you if you don't want to come back to this 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:56.040 dumpster fire of a state. Alexa. Oh well, that's a 0:01:56.080 --> 0:01:58.880 cute update. That's a cute update. We should do actually 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:02.320 show updates. Also, I added a show in Saratoga and 0:02:02.400 --> 0:02:05.600 Mountain Winery that is coming up this summer. I added 0:02:05.600 --> 0:02:09.320 two shows in Nashville on June tenth and I'm also 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:11.800 coming to Niagara Falls, and I'll be at the Montreal 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:16.840 Comedy Festival hosting a gala on July. And you can 0:02:16.840 --> 0:02:18.920 go to Chelsea Handler dot com for tickets for all 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:22.280 my upcoming shows, because I'm going to Birmingham, Alabama, and Louisville, 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:26.040 Kentucky and all sorts of fun stops everywhere. When you're 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:28.200 doing that many shows, do they all kind of blur together? 0:02:28.639 --> 0:02:31.679 Or no? I pretty much remember because I'm no longer 0:02:31.720 --> 0:02:34.320 ship faced when I perform, so I have more clarity 0:02:34.560 --> 0:02:37.120 and I pretty much remember every show like I remember, 0:02:37.320 --> 0:02:40.040 and it is always those smaller towns that you're like, 0:02:40.080 --> 0:02:42.480 wait what that end up being kind of the best show. 0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:46.560 So so, just like Alexa said in her letter, Life's 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:48.960 too short to let things like that bother you. And 0:02:48.960 --> 0:02:50.919 I think that's a great segue into our guest today, 0:02:50.960 --> 0:02:53.520 who has a podcast called Life is Short. Oh yeah, 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:56.200 I've been on his podcast. He has a podcast called 0:02:56.280 --> 0:02:58.560 Yes I've been. I've been a guest on his podcast. 0:02:58.600 --> 0:03:00.200 I actually had a great time because I had ever 0:03:00.200 --> 0:03:02.640 met him before that, so that was awesome. And he 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:05.200 also stars in the show f Is for Family on Netflix, 0:03:05.200 --> 0:03:14.200 so please welcome Mr Justin Long, Catherine Guys Chelsea, what 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:22.639 good morning, Good? What do you think was that your 0:03:22.680 --> 0:03:25.600 impression of me knowing that I was gonna scramble for 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:29.520 an excuse and start that was just my reaction to you. 0:03:30.000 --> 0:03:33.160 I'm glad you made your bed behind you because that 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:36.080 looks like you somewhat have your ship together. Well, I'm 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:37.839 going to give you a little gift because I'm late, 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:41.560 and this is unprofessional, but totally unprofessional. By the way, 0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:43.600 I've never been late once in my life, and I 0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:45.120 know that a lot of people would find that hard 0:03:45.160 --> 0:03:47.240 to believe, but it's actually sucking true. I don't know 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.480 if the totally unprofessional part was necessary. I think it's 0:03:49.560 --> 0:03:53.840 unprofessional covers at all. I mean, it's okay, okay, well, 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:55.200 I was just trying to I was just trying to 0:03:55.240 --> 0:04:00.680 fill in something in place of so totally late. Well, 0:04:00.720 --> 0:04:02.800 if you watched The Bachelor, it's a it's a thousand 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:07.320 percent or you know there's a higher percentage. A million 0:04:07.360 --> 0:04:11.880 percent has become more tolerable than ac Yes, I would 0:04:11.920 --> 0:04:15.600 exact infinity percent is what they should land on. I 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:19.240 think I just don't love catchy lingo. Justin like I 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:22.480 don't like trendy bullshit. I don't like when people say 0:04:22.520 --> 0:04:30.880 obsessed or dead dead. I'm dead. I hate dead. It's 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:34.120 also a horrible thing to Laughter should be a joy, 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:36.880 like a it's a great part of life. Living well, 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:39.000 it's l o L Now you can't even you can't 0:04:39.000 --> 0:04:41.920 even laugh. You just have to say lull, which dead 0:04:41.960 --> 0:04:46.280 pen which I refuse to participate in. Good. What about slaps? 0:04:46.320 --> 0:04:49.200 I've heard this one recently, slaps. I haven't heard that yet. 0:04:49.200 --> 0:04:52.960 Does that mean funny? Yeah? I think I worked with 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:56.159 this producer who was great. The movie's great, but she 0:04:56.200 --> 0:04:59.840 was She was in her mid twenties, late twenties, and 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:03.280 she would use this language so casually, and she said slaps. 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:04.880 And it was hard for me to tell because the 0:05:04.880 --> 0:05:07.640 tone that she used it in was like you just 0:05:07.680 --> 0:05:10.840 did with dad, Dad. It's just like, there's nothing joyous 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:12.640 about it. So she just said, oh, that slaps. That 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:16.839 slaps very dead pan, not even about a song or something, 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:19.719 or it was about something like that. It was a 0:05:19.760 --> 0:05:23.120 good thing. It turned out to be a By the 0:05:23.120 --> 0:05:25.040 way we sound really, I mean, well, there we are 0:05:25.080 --> 0:05:28.640 old listen, just bake it, you know. I like being old. 0:05:28.760 --> 0:05:30.680 I'm forty seven. Then more the other morning I woke 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:32.279 up and I was like, thirty eight is such a 0:05:32.320 --> 0:05:34.880 cool age, Like I'm not yet forty. And then I'm like, bitch, 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:37.680 your forty seven? What are you talking about? Like I 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:39.839 just had this idea that I was, all of a 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.200 sudden thirty eight or thirty eight years old. That makes sense. 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:45.840 I mean mentally, you probably feel much closer to that. 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:49.159 How old are you justin I'm forty three, But I've 0:05:49.160 --> 0:05:51.880 been identifying as an older person lately. When I you 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:53.680 know that commercial that I think it's Guy co. It's 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:56.159 a really funny commercial. They're like, don't turn into your parents, 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:58.400 don't be like your parents, And there's a guy who 0:05:58.440 --> 0:06:01.320 has to instruct the younger people to not be prematurely 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:03.680 older than they are. And there's a whole thing about 0:06:03.720 --> 0:06:06.280 they go to a game and they forget where they parked, 0:06:06.279 --> 0:06:07.720 and they just talk about parking the whole time and 0:06:07.720 --> 0:06:10.280 when they're going to leave the game. Anyway I identify, 0:06:10.440 --> 0:06:13.840 I find myself really identifying with that commercial, wanting to 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:17.360 thank the clerk, wanting to point out how nice the 0:06:17.440 --> 0:06:19.760 store clerk was that helped me out. Well, what I've 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:23.440 been saying, young man, what a nice young man. Yeah, 0:06:24.400 --> 0:06:27.560 you find yourself like complimenting the work ethic of a 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:32.679 younger generation noticing it. Yeah, yeah, Well we've been making 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:35.560 fun of all younger generations for a while, especially jen 0:06:35.800 --> 0:06:39.240 X right about their ladys jen Z. I don't know 0:06:39.320 --> 0:06:42.960 the differences between but the la the laugh will be 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:46.120 they'll get the last laugh, obviously, because they will outlive 0:06:46.200 --> 0:06:50.800 us and one on it and hopefully save the planet. 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:54.360 And I wonder how much of my hostility is fueled 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:59.440 by just that, just just the biological truth that I 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:03.920 will be dying sooner, sooner than them. We're anyone who's 0:07:03.960 --> 0:07:06.599 over forty is basically useless to the rest of the 0:07:06.600 --> 0:07:09.800 world because before the tech age, we had to like, 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:12.600 you know, educate the next generation and kind of let 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:15.800 them know what heads up this is. But now with 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:19.280 Google and with all the information that's at everyone's fingertips, 0:07:19.520 --> 0:07:22.560 they don't need anybody. They just need a computer or 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:25.679 a phone and computer, I mean, computers will even become 0:07:25.680 --> 0:07:30.120 obsolete for most people at a certain point. So we're irrelevant. 0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:33.760 We just have no merit on society at this point. So, like, 0:07:33.960 --> 0:07:36.760 you know, that's true, everything's at their fingertips. I didn't 0:07:36.760 --> 0:07:38.560 think about that. They don't need to look to an 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:42.440 older generation to learn anything form wisdom. That's tru I 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:44.600 ever thought about that. Yeah, I was just with a friend. 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:47.920 She was just talking about how much her culture respects 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:52.280 the elderly and how Japanese. No, she was in Japanese, 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:56.760 so it was Filipino. Yeah, maybe Filipino just stereotyping. I'm 0:07:56.760 --> 0:08:00.800 positively scy, yes, exact always just how much respect you know, 0:08:00.840 --> 0:08:03.200 the older generation, and how when you see somebody who's old, 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:06.200 they have knowledge in part with you. They're sagacious, they're 0:08:06.520 --> 0:08:09.520 they're revere. Write that down s A G A c 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:13.400 io us. Yeah, thank you, and you can look it 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:16.360 up when we're done, And how much they revere older people. 0:08:16.600 --> 0:08:20.120 And I was thinking, God, you're so right about how 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:23.440 American society and it's not every family, but how I 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:26.160 look at somebody who's a certain age and I dismiss 0:08:26.240 --> 0:08:29.520 them like they're too old school, they don't understand, they're 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:31.800 not with it, they're not woken off, they don't get it, 0:08:32.160 --> 0:08:36.240 they're antiquated. And I thought, oh, that's exactly true. Like 0:08:36.360 --> 0:08:39.760 I dismiss someone who's too old because I think that 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:44.080 their value has lessened, even though I know intellectually that's 0:08:44.120 --> 0:08:47.000 not right, and I'm sure I've done that. Yeah. Yeah, 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:49.880 I like to think in theory that I have great 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:51.520 respect for the elderly. It's one of the reasons I 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:55.319 love Japan. I love cultures that do revere. There's only 0:08:55.400 --> 0:08:59.240 the elderly are only in Japan. So that's why they're 0:08:59.240 --> 0:09:02.160 mostly elderly in Japan, because I think they've stopped having 0:09:02.240 --> 0:09:03.880 sex for the most part. You should double check that 0:09:04.240 --> 0:09:06.480 well before wet this ghost day. I'm so sorry. I 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:09.640 don't know your name. This is Katherine, This is Kine. Okay, 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:12.160 you did say it earlier, so you know, I saw 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:14.440 you on a little You're on a there's an there's 0:09:14.440 --> 0:09:16.439 a thing of you. There's a picture of you. That's 0:09:16.480 --> 0:09:18.720 really my fault for not introducing her. I mean, she's 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:26.480 my co host, so that's just my rudeness, you know. Classic. Well, 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:28.840 nice to meet you, Yeah, justin. I was talking about 0:09:28.880 --> 0:09:30.839 your podcast because I had such a good time on 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:33.559 your podcast and we had never met before that, right, No, 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:36.280 we hadn't we I had, Yes, I was thinking about 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:38.880 that as I was scrambling to get here. To your bedroom. 0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:42.240 I just got a car. I just bought a car, 0:09:45.440 --> 0:09:50.360 speaking sing, speaking of being speaking of being older. Yes, 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:53.760 I have my license. I'm I'm an old looking young 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:56.719 looking person. I mean I'm at a strange age where 0:09:56.760 --> 0:10:00.280 it looked like an old teenager. Yeah, just look like 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:05.600 an older teenager, like a really really mature seasoned teenager, 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:08.320 like a Stemen in high school for like seven years, 0:10:09.360 --> 0:10:13.200 possibly eight and a half. Parker Louis can lose. That's 0:10:13.240 --> 0:10:16.839 a joke for our generation. See, I watched that show. Though, 0:10:16.920 --> 0:10:19.520 I will say grantize my watch with you. I had 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:25.800 older siblings. Yeah. Wow, I'm surprised that you that you 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:27.880 remember that show. I don't mean that in a condest anyway. 0:10:27.960 --> 0:10:29.760 We had some good TV back in the day. We 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:37.199 sure did. You'll like this, Chelsea and Katherine, Chelsea, I 0:10:37.280 --> 0:10:40.280 know you'll like it. I just bought a and you're 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:42.400 the first person I'm telling because I just bought it, 0:10:42.440 --> 0:10:44.319 and I have shame about it, and I need to 0:10:44.440 --> 0:10:47.240 say it with confidence. But I am now the owner 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:52.319 of a smart car. Goodbye everyone, than I thought you 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:56.000 were going to say a Bill Cosby Funco. It's a 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:58.599 little like toy thing that people love Fonco's and you 0:10:58.640 --> 0:11:01.120 can buy them and they like reps and different celebrities 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:04.880 or athletes. Oh oh really, Oh and there's a Bill Cusp. Yeah, 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:06.600 I had a smart car. I just want to let 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:09.560 you know, really, what kind of wait what what kind 0:11:09.600 --> 0:11:11.800 of smart car? Is it called a smart car? Yeah? 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:17.760 Smart little nugget cars, the little nugget, you know what. 0:11:18.000 --> 0:11:20.559 I bought one and I gave it away because it 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:24.480 drove so slowly and was so ridiculous. But before I 0:11:24.559 --> 0:11:28.000 gave it away, I am blazed. Yeah, so congratulations on 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:30.599 your new car. Hopefully it's not the one that I 0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:33.360 sold or gave. Actually I gave it away to a friend, 0:11:33.640 --> 0:11:36.000 and on the side, I had decals that said Chelsea 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:39.680 Lately eleven thirty weeknights on E because at the time 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:42.240 I was on that show. So my friend was driving 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.319 around l A and a car that was basically a 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:48.760 commercial for my show. It's really funny. What a good friend. 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:51.760 It's funny that you gave it to a friend. Well, 0:11:51.960 --> 0:11:54.360 I tried that car because I thought it was so cute. 0:11:54.400 --> 0:11:57.640 And I love little small, super small sized things like 0:11:57.720 --> 0:12:01.760 I get off on that. I love like little miniature things. 0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:04.120 Me too. Yeah, Oh, I didn't know that about you. 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:06.360 That's cute. That's why I like Japan, I think. But 0:12:06.400 --> 0:12:08.439 I'm excited to drive it. So I'm gonna and in 0:12:08.520 --> 0:12:10.760 New York. I've always fantasized about having a car that 0:12:10.840 --> 0:12:14.240 can fit into almost any are you So? Are you 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:16.959 based out of New York? Justin? I am mostly in 0:12:17.120 --> 0:12:20.000 Connecticut and Massachusetts. I kind of go back and forth. Oh, 0:12:20.200 --> 0:12:24.000 and Japan and Japan. Ideally that would be Yeah, that's 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:29.120 the triangle Connecticut and Massachusetts. Now that's interesting. What why? 0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:33.839 What was on there? How? Not much, which is why 0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:37.719 I love it. Um. I was born in Fairfield, so 0:12:37.760 --> 0:12:39.360 I grew up in Fairfield rather and I kind of 0:12:39.400 --> 0:12:41.080 wanted to be close to my parents as they got 0:12:41.400 --> 0:12:46.600 older because you respect them. I respect them and your Japanese. Yes, 0:12:46.840 --> 0:12:48.800 I might be. I wish I was. I wish you know, 0:12:48.800 --> 0:12:50.719 I've never done one of those ancestry things, but I 0:12:51.720 --> 0:12:53.280 were I to do that, I would. I would really 0:12:53.320 --> 0:12:54.839 hope that I had some chapan you know what. I 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:57.040 could see you having some Japanese in you. That wouldn't 0:12:57.040 --> 0:13:00.679 be too far fetched. It's a huge compliment here. I 0:13:00.800 --> 0:13:04.319 was once arrested. I lived in Santa Monica, right by 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:07.520 the beach. I lived between Ocean and Main Street, and 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:09.319 I lived on a street that was quite crowd It 0:13:09.360 --> 0:13:11.760 was hard to find parking and stuff, and houses were 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:13.439 kind of stacked on each other, and I rented the 0:13:13.480 --> 0:13:15.600 bottom floor of this house. Anyway, I gotta knock at 0:13:15.600 --> 0:13:18.480 the door at like it was. It was one in 0:13:18.559 --> 0:13:20.360 the morning, I think, and I shuffled to the door 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:23.319 and there were I saw three cops on my on 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:26.600 my porch, and I looked out. They were really banging, 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:29.280 you know, pretty aggressively, and I but I knew enough 0:13:29.360 --> 0:13:31.080 not to open the door right away. I said, I said, 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:33.360 what's the what's the problem? Officers from behind the door, 0:13:33.920 --> 0:13:36.520 and they said, your car is blocking a driveway, and 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.560 which is very plausible because people were always complaining about 0:13:39.559 --> 0:13:42.240 stuff like that. But I was a pretty respectful parker, 0:13:42.640 --> 0:13:44.199 and so I said, well, what kind of car is that? 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:45.600 And I was kind of confused, like, how would they 0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:48.000 know it is my car? Why are there three cops? Uh? 0:13:48.040 --> 0:13:49.160 And I said what kind of car is it? And 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:51.000 they said, well, what kind of car do you drive? 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:54.120 Which should have been an indication. I said, I pray 0:13:54.160 --> 0:13:56.760 ass and they said it's a prey ass. And I said, okay, 0:13:56.960 --> 0:13:58.880 you know, not thinking the cops are gonna lie, I 0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:01.160 opened the door and they grabbed me and spun me 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:04.199 around and put me in handcuffs right away, really, and 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:07.400 one was particularly aggressive, and they said, what is your name? David? 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:09.960 They kept saying David, your name, David, your name David? 0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:12.400 And I said, no, no, it's not I'm a little 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:14.440 freaked up, but I kind of knew I hadn't done anything. 0:14:14.480 --> 0:14:16.640 But there was weed in the house, but other than that, 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:18.679 like I knew I had, I wasn't like dealing. It 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:21.280 wasn't like, you know, pounds of it. So I knew 0:14:21.480 --> 0:14:23.600 I was in the should be in the clear, but 0:14:23.760 --> 0:14:25.960 you know, it's still intimidating. And they kept asking me 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:27.560 if I was this person, and there were three of them, 0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:30.680 and two were shining their lights on on something. They 0:14:30.720 --> 0:14:33.520 were conferring around some photo, and they kept shining it 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:35.160 back and forth from the light, I mean, from the 0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:38.160 photo to my face and and finally I said, my 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:39.920 name is justin Long. It's not David, you know, And 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:41.840 they said, are you telling us that this isn't you? 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:44.040 And they they showed me the photo and it was 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:48.320 a mug shot of of an Asian person with foliation. 0:14:49.080 --> 0:14:52.120 It was like unmistakably agent. And I said, are you 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:54.200 are you kidd? Is this a joke? I it was 0:14:54.280 --> 0:14:56.240 around the time of punk, but they were way too 0:14:56.320 --> 0:14:58.120 good to be so I did that wasn't even on 0:14:58.200 --> 0:15:01.120 my radar. I was just so fused. He had glasses, 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:04.040 eye glasses, and and he said, are you telling me 0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:06.400 that you just haven't have similar looking glasses in the 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:08.320 same age. I guess he had put that address years ago. 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:10.640 My landlord had rented it out. He was a criminal. 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:13.200 And I kept insisting that I wasn't the guy, and 0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:14.600 they didn't believe me, And so they went in to 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:16.320 get my my license. I told them where to go. 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:18.760 And I was living with Jonah Heill was my roommate 0:15:18.760 --> 0:15:21.040 at the time, and and they were walking towards his room. 0:15:21.120 --> 0:15:23.400 So they went past where my license was on the desk, 0:15:23.440 --> 0:15:24.720 and I said, and I stood up, and I said, 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:27.960 oh no, no, no, officers, you're going too far. I 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:29.600 didn't want them to wake up Joe, you know. And 0:15:30.080 --> 0:15:32.320 and one of the one of the cups just he 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:35.920 threw me down. He goes se the fun down and 0:15:36.000 --> 0:15:38.880 when I'm nervous around authority. I kind of started to laugh. 0:15:38.960 --> 0:15:41.080 I get like giggly, I get like nervously giggly. I 0:15:41.200 --> 0:15:44.280 was like, okay, and this is funny. It's not gonna 0:15:44.320 --> 0:15:47.400 be funny. When he was like going on about prison 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:49.400 and how you're gonna be things are going to happen 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:52.120 to you in prison, and I said, what's a little funny, 0:15:52.200 --> 0:15:54.360 because you're gonna find out that I'm not the guy 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:56.200 you think i'm, that I'm not an Asian criminal, and 0:15:56.240 --> 0:15:58.400 then hopefully we'll all laugh about it. Did you at 0:15:58.400 --> 0:16:02.320 any point say I'm not Asian this person? Yes, I did. 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:05.720 I did, I did, And they ignored that, but they persisted. 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:08.720 They insisted I was this guy. And so then one 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.760 was calling in my my I d and obviously making 0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:14.720 you know, realizing that I wasn't the criminal, and the 0:16:14.760 --> 0:16:17.240 one who had been most aggressive at one point got 0:16:17.320 --> 0:16:19.600 kind of quiet and I could see him studying my 0:16:19.760 --> 0:16:24.200 face and he goes, yo, are you wait a minute, 0:16:24.520 --> 0:16:26.760 are you an actor? And I said yes, and I'm there, 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:29.320 I'm sounding at the handcuff side and he goes, are 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:32.640 you in Dodgeball? And I said yes, and he goes, bro, 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:35.040 bro and he went like that to like give me 0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:38.200 a man hug shake and I was like, well, yeah, 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:40.760 I got that cups on and so you know, then 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:42.520 they then they realized I wasn't the guy. They and 0:16:42.720 --> 0:16:45.040 they and the strange thing was they I said, Well 0:16:45.080 --> 0:16:46.600 then I was of course freaked out, Well what did 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:48.280 this guy do? And is he going to come back 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:50.240 to the house? Is he going to be He's given 0:16:50.280 --> 0:16:52.400 out the address as his and they wouldn't tell me 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.560 what he did, and they said if you have any 0:16:54.640 --> 0:16:56.480 question and that. But I was also starting to think, like, well, 0:16:56.480 --> 0:16:59.360 wait a minute, there's been some violation, like something was 0:16:59.400 --> 0:17:01.760 not doesn't up about what just happened. There's this can't 0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:03.920 be the way it shouldn't go down. I said, is 0:17:03.920 --> 0:17:06.240 there a number I can call if whatever he comes back? 0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:08.040 And he gave me the number. It was a general 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:11.200 number that the Santa Monica Police Department. I called the 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:12.560 next day and they had no idea what I was 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:16.840 done talking about. Why did I tell you that? Because 0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:19.920 you're explaining why you live in Massachusetts in Connecticut? Yes, 0:17:20.119 --> 0:17:22.080 so a couple of days later, No, it was about 0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.720 you said I could be maybe Japanese. A couple of 0:17:24.760 --> 0:17:27.119 days later, Joan and I were at a bar in 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:29.280 Renee's shout Out. I don't know if it's still there, 0:17:29.320 --> 0:17:33.240 and Santa Monica. I used to go there all the time. Yeah, yeah, 0:17:33.680 --> 0:17:35.840 that's why I did. That's where I did. The majority 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:38.640 of my drugs in my twenties was at Rene's. Yes, 0:17:38.880 --> 0:17:42.080 Oh my god, I think that's mostly what's done there. Um. 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:45.880 But we were there and a very lovely Asian woman 0:17:46.320 --> 0:17:50.119 she said, so, what percentage Asian are you? And I 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:54.080 started laughing, and Janah was laughing because he had of 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:56.320 course heard the story the cops and what happened a 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:58.760 couple days and I said, oh, did he tell you 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.000 the story? And she goes, I don't know what you're 0:18:01.000 --> 0:18:02.920 talking about. And I realized he hadn't told her, and 0:18:02.960 --> 0:18:04.679 I said, oh, no, no, I'm not. I'm not Asian. 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:06.399 She goes, now, come on, seriously, what are you like? 0:18:08.800 --> 0:18:12.360 And I said, I'm wait, I'm not. I'm not. I'm Italian. 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:14.600 I'm sure. She goes, you know what, that's fucked up. 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:16.960 I have a lot of mixed friends like you, and 0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:20.880 they refuse to admit that they're mixed. And I think 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:22.879 that's really funny. She kind of stormed away. Joan was 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:26.720 laughing so hard. But I, I said to I wish 0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:30.960 I would gladly embrace that. Yeah, I love Asian culture. 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:32.800 I love it. Sounds like you're the victim of a 0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:36.920 lot of misunderstanding, like a lot of ethnic misunderstandings. Yes, 0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:39.879 that's safe to say. Within a couple of days, it 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:41.879 was really funny. What about your brother though, does he 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:46.479 look slightly Asian? Okay, girl, there you go, No, he's um. 0:18:47.280 --> 0:18:49.040 I think I don't know what it knows. We all 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:52.879 look I guess similar. So you look very similar to 0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:56.680 your brother like I did light Instagram creeping, just of 0:18:56.760 --> 0:19:00.080 course as research. I follow you guys on Instagram. You 0:19:00.160 --> 0:19:03.439 guys look you look. I love following Chelsea. What about Katherine? 0:19:03.440 --> 0:19:06.760 Do you follow Katherine Justin? I don't up until today, 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:10.119 I was unaware of her existence. That sounds awful, but 0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:12.920 well I will, I will say Justin just to be 0:19:13.040 --> 0:19:14.920 extra creepy. I actually did know that you drive a 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:17.920 Prius because I live sort of near Franklin Village. It 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:20.320 used to see you driving around your Prius all the time. Also, 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:23.160 I'm pretty sure I literally ran into at Gilson's one time. 0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:25.879 Liked preas have Chelsea lately emblazoned on you know what 0:19:26.000 --> 0:19:28.440 it did? It did it did? Yeah? I know, I know. 0:19:28.600 --> 0:19:31.760 I don't know how to break that to be such 0:19:31.800 --> 0:19:34.520 a big fan. I was a fan. I was a fan. 0:19:34.960 --> 0:19:37.280 Wait what do you say about Gilson's that's something you 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:39.760 had run into. Oh you were. Actually when I first 0:19:39.920 --> 0:19:41.719 moved to l A like ten years ago, you were 0:19:41.720 --> 0:19:43.720 like one of my first celebrity side eggs and I 0:19:43.800 --> 0:19:46.400 was like, I saw him at the grocery store. Oh. Man, 0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:51.320 that's funny. It's funny to know people are thinking that, Chelsea. 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:52.920 Do you ever think that's going on in their head 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:55.600 that you are somehow that they know you? Yeah? I don't. 0:19:55.920 --> 0:19:58.600