1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,840 Speaker 1: Bug up and hold on tight. We got it for you. Here. 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:06,840 Speaker 1: It is the Strawberry letter Thank you Nephew, subject my fiance. 3 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:11,200 Speaker 1: It looks like a bum. Dear Stephen Shirley, I am 4 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: a twenty nine year old newly engaged mother of two. 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:20,280 Speaker 1: My fiance is smart, loving, caring, and crazy, just how 6 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,400 Speaker 1: I like it. The problem is he doesn't care for 7 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 1: himself at all. He has a great job, but he 8 00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: doesn't have to dress up for work, so he puts 9 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:33,319 Speaker 1: little or no effort in his daily appearance. I am 10 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,240 Speaker 1: not sure how I overlooked this when we were dating, 11 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 1: but now it's getting on my nerves. He walks around 12 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: with holes in his socks and raggedy underwear. I buy 13 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,240 Speaker 1: him new boxers and socks and teas, but he likes 14 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 1: weary old stuff. When we go out, he rotates three 15 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,479 Speaker 1: of his favorite outfits, and he has one pair of 16 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:57,240 Speaker 1: jeans that I'm tired of seeing. I always look nice, 17 00:00:57,240 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 1: and I try to push him to wear one of 18 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,440 Speaker 1: the nice shirt I bought him or the new slacks 19 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,280 Speaker 1: he has hanging in the closet. Now. I don't expect 20 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 1: him to fill up closets like me, but I at 21 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:10,319 Speaker 1: least want him to keep himself up and get used 22 00:01:10,360 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: to buying a few new outfits often. I also would 23 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:17,399 Speaker 1: like him to get regular haircuts, or at least clean 24 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,120 Speaker 1: up his hairline so he looks well groomed. I have 25 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: to tell him to clip his nails, and I do 26 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:25,639 Speaker 1: it nicely by saying that he scratched me or something 27 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 1: like that. If I talk to him about his clothes 28 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: or how he wears his hair, he thinks I have 29 00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: a problem with him, or I'm trying to compare him 30 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,559 Speaker 1: to the men I come in contact with daily at work. 31 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: That's not what I'm doing at all, and I'm not 32 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 1: judging him. I just want to be proud when I 33 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,800 Speaker 1: introduce my Beyonce to people, and I want him to 34 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: clean up his appearance. But I need some advice on 35 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 1: just how to tell him. Please help. Okay, first of all, 36 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 1: go through his closet and his drawers and everything, through 37 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: all those holy underwears and socks and all that stuff. 38 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:05,120 Speaker 1: Just throw it out, Okay, throw it out, and then 39 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: put the new underwear in there that you bought him, 40 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,560 Speaker 1: the new teas and new socks. He'll have to wear it. 41 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 1: He'll be forced to wear it because he doesn't have 42 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: the old ones to rely on. That's one thing you 43 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: can do as far as you comparing him to other guys. 44 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 1: Just tell him you want him to look nice. I 45 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 1: mean you could tell him in a nice way, Honey, 46 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 1: I want you to look nice, you know, just get 47 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,480 Speaker 1: your hairline, you know, that's what That's what I like. 48 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:32,320 Speaker 1: That turns me on. And yeah, I am really shocked 49 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 1: that you were overlooked. You overlooked this while you were 50 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 1: dating because usually cleanliness and and and grooming, those are 51 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 1: things that women, you know, really look at and look for. 52 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,239 Speaker 1: You know, he could be a nice guy, but if 53 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:49,960 Speaker 1: he's not groomed, we want him to get his grooming together. 54 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: And you know how we are about changing men. Uh, 55 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,240 Speaker 1: it might be too late. This is this might be 56 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 1: how it is with him. So you're gonna have to 57 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: sit him down and you're gonna have to have a 58 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: heart to heart because you guys are engaged. So you're 59 00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:06,799 Speaker 1: gonna take that next step into marriage. And I'm gonna 60 00:03:06,840 --> 00:03:10,680 Speaker 1: tell you these little things like this they become humongous things, 61 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:15,040 Speaker 1: epic things when you get married. So so sit him down, 62 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 1: talk to him, talk to him nicely. Uh, you know, 63 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,080 Speaker 1: tell him that you like to look nice. Tell him 64 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 1: you want him to at least be clean and groomed 65 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: when you guys go out and throw all that old 66 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 1: stuff away. Okay, all right, junior. How what was that 67 00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:41,920 Speaker 1: your voice? What it was? What? How our babe? Every day? Yeah? 68 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 1: Oh and oh I know what you say. Yeah, come 69 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 1: on and you're single? Yeah? I cut every week? Yeah 70 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 1: you do? You get your nails done? All of that? 71 00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: I don't. I go shopping at the least, and he 72 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: don't have to do nothing, and he get a wife. 73 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 1: What am I doing wrong? I'm gonna stop bathing right now. No, 74 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 1: I want somebody. You're not gonna coming here with I'm not. 75 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:19,159 Speaker 1: I'm wearing raggy draws too. I'm buying now. I'm getting 76 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: all the not the draws. I see it in the catalog, 77 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,799 Speaker 1: all the all the top line draw I'm being thirty 78 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:29,440 Speaker 1: path thirt path draw I'm going back to the Ranger ranals. 79 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 1: I'm going back because that's what y'all want. No, that's 80 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,680 Speaker 1: what y'all want. No, No, she doesn't even want we want. 81 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: We don't want to. Man ain't doing that. He don't 82 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: do nothing, clean and everything? Going to the got health 83 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 1: insurance you don't need none of this, and you can 84 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:58,800 Speaker 1: get somebody this. Don't bother y'all. I'm sitting down. She 85 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: didn't say that he wasn't clean. Now. She didn't say 86 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,559 Speaker 1: that he doesn't get regular haircuts, but don't. She didn't 87 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 1: say he didn't take showers. I didn't say that I 88 00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 1: want him. I want him to clean up his appearance. 89 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:17,000 Speaker 1: But here I am already. I'm already cleaned up. Yeah, 90 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: Tommy said, you had a lot of women asking about 91 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: you in Philly. Somebody helped me. What do I need 92 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 1: to do? I cannot believe that this man don't do nothing, 93 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 1: and he got somebody we might be able to get. 94 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,800 Speaker 1: How are you I've been engaged with two kids. Well, 95 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,880 Speaker 1: I'm already put together there. You gotta do nothing with me? 96 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: To do nothing out here trying to get the stuff 97 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 1: the car? Drive? Who you think I'm driving that for? 98 00:05:51,839 --> 00:05:59,240 Speaker 1: I didn't want that. Somebody liked that. Hopefully Junior has 99 00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:05,400 Speaker 1: calmed down a little. Yeah, all right, subject of this letter, 100 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 1: My fiance looks like a um Okay, twenty nine year 101 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,919 Speaker 1: old woman wrote this letter. She's newly engaged. She's a 102 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 1: mother of two. Her fiance is smart, he's loving, he's caring. 103 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:19,080 Speaker 1: He's crazy, she says, just like she likes it. The 104 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: problem is he doesn't care for himself. He doesn't groom himself. 105 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 1: He doesn't get regular haircuts. He wears holy underwear, Holy socks. 106 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:30,560 Speaker 1: She's boughtom new ones, but he prefers the old ones. 107 00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:33,840 Speaker 1: He rotates three of his favorite outfits. He has one 108 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:36,280 Speaker 1: pair of jeans she's tired of seeing. She says. She 109 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: always looks nice and takes care of her appearance, but 110 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,159 Speaker 1: when they go out, he looks like a bum. That's 111 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,680 Speaker 1: what she says. Okay, she wants him to clean up 112 00:06:44,680 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: his hairline. All of that. She said she didn't notice this. Funny, 113 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,040 Speaker 1: isn't it that she didn't notice any of this while 114 00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: they were dating. That's so odd to me. But she 115 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,479 Speaker 1: has to tell him to clip his nails. And the 116 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,839 Speaker 1: way she tells him that is that she tells him 117 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,560 Speaker 1: that he scratched her something. So you got to take 118 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: that same same way that you tell him about scratching. 119 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,880 Speaker 1: You gotta take that to his clothes and his appearance 120 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: and his haircuts and all of that. He thinks he's 121 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 1: comparing she's comparing him to other men. But that's not it. 122 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: She just wants him to be clean and well groomed. 123 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 1: She wants him to be proud, to introduce him to 124 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: his fiend, to her people and everything, and she wants 125 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: him to clean up his appearance. She just doesn't know 126 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: how to do it. Junior is mad because he's clean, 127 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 1: he gets haircuts, he gets his nails done, and he's 128 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:37,600 Speaker 1: still single. So he's thinking about, you know, showering anymore. 129 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 1: But we still gotta help her. Yeah, so tell me 130 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: what So I think you know? And this is just 131 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 1: I think this is when it comes to a lot 132 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: of subject. Fight fire with fire. Get some holes in 133 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:54,119 Speaker 1: your drawls? What? Yes? What? Get your some holes in y'alls? 134 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,440 Speaker 1: I cutting him out, Get to some holes in yr drawl. 135 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:59,000 Speaker 1: When you see him walking around his row of holes him, 136 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:03,040 Speaker 1: get poor, y'all, put them on match what he doing. 137 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:08,680 Speaker 1: Stop cutting your nails, let him grow, Kick him a 138 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,000 Speaker 1: couple of times through the night. This gonna catch your own. 139 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 1: He gonna be so by the time I'm telling you, listen, 140 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: there's certain parts of you that you shave. Every woman 141 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 1: shaved something. Stop shaving, even if you got a nice 142 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: gotee or something. Let it come on end. Get you, 143 00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,240 Speaker 1: get your work, your bed on in. Now you know 144 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,680 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Do what you got to do. Side 145 00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: burn head and stuff you ain't even know you had. 146 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,839 Speaker 1: But they're coming on end, sooner or later, you're gonna 147 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 1: get his attention. Now you want to go a little further. 148 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: You want to go a little further. Cut your wide 149 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 1: brows all the way out, or get a brow, grow that, 150 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:46,839 Speaker 1: but let it grow always. Yes, you can do this. 151 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:50,400 Speaker 1: Stop stop, take it to another letter. Stop shower and 152 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: get funk on him. Girl, you have to take this 153 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 1: to another level. He walked around there, Kevin Durant, edge up. 154 00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,040 Speaker 1: You got to let that you got to put you 155 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 1: gotta put some fire on this thing. Okay, just just 156 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:07,319 Speaker 1: be a bumb until he quit being a bumb? Does 157 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: that make any sense? Be a bumb with it? I mean, 158 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,360 Speaker 1: what if he likes that though, because he but usually 159 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: no man wants to see his wife or his woman 160 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,200 Speaker 1: with holes in her underwear. Who want to see that? 161 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:22,000 Speaker 1: No man? Man, don't nobody want to see that walking around. 162 00:09:22,040 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 1: But you got the parade though, when you put it on, 163 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 1: you got the parade. This thing what in your holy underwear? Yes, 164 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: move all around the house with your drawls. Okay, you 165 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:36,200 Speaker 1: got to show boat these holes in these drawls. Want 166 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: you to know, then they gonna have to see mamma 167 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:43,479 Speaker 1: and they and daddy a different way. Baby, Yes, prescious 168 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,960 Speaker 1: might of fact, might of fact, when you might of fact, 169 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,560 Speaker 1: when you get the kids ready for bad, get them 170 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,120 Speaker 1: some draws, got some holes in it. Everybody doing what 171 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:55,080 Speaker 1: Daddy do? This? How Daddy gonna doing, gonna leave the household. 172 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 1: This is how we gonna do it. Every time y'all 173 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,080 Speaker 1: go out on on DNA dates or whatever, where the 174 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 1: exact same thing every single time, do not change. I 175 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:08,440 Speaker 1: know you got a closet full of clothes. Don't worry 176 00:10:08,440 --> 00:10:10,560 Speaker 1: about that. You'll get to that later. We're trying to 177 00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:14,319 Speaker 1: teach him a lesson. Be a bum with a bump, 178 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:18,760 Speaker 1: a bum for a bum for a bump. Does that 179 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:21,439 Speaker 1: make any sense? I mean, you know, maybe in some 180 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,920 Speaker 1: circles that would work, But I mean, Shirley, if Paul, 181 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,839 Speaker 1: if y'all man were walking around with underwear with holes, 182 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 1: and y'all wouldn't fight five with five, you wouldn't just 183 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: throw walking around with holes in y'all underwear a conversation 184 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 1: and I throw that stuff out. I just throw it out. 185 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:41,440 Speaker 1: I'll get some new underwear. Just get well, y'all would 186 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 1: create an argument. You threw this man stuff out and 187 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: you know that, right, that's okay, you do know, but 188 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: I can't handle that argument. We are getting over. Oh 189 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 1: we aren't the holes in these drawers that you threw. 190 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:54,280 Speaker 1: Oh we're arguing about that. Might have we can, we can, okay, 191 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 1: might have these new ones. Get better be smart. You 192 00:10:57,559 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 1: better throw them out on trash day. It better be 193 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 1: the right thing. Yeah, he needs he needs to know 194 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 1: the phrase happy wife, happy life. He definitely happy drawls. 195 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:13,160 Speaker 1: Happy drawls a woman with one pat change scarst means June. 196 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: You're still mad about that? Every All right, well listen. 197 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:22,439 Speaker 1: If you guys have some just some suggestions, you can 198 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 1: email us your Instagram. That's your thoughts on Today's Strawberry 199 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,839 Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey FM, or you can check out 200 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:31,080 Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast go on demand and check it out. 201 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.