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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dom here. If you like this

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Speaker 1: show and you want to make your own, let me

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Speaker 1: tell you about the free platform Anchor. It's a creation

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Speaker 1: tool that allows you to record and edit your podcast

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Speaker 1: right from your phone or computer. You can add songs

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Speaker 1: from Spotify and create any type of content that you

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Speaker 1: are looking for. Anchor will distribute it all for you

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Speaker 1: so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more.

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Speaker 1: Download the free Anchor app or go to anchor dot

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Speaker 1: fm to get started.

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Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her Space, I.

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Speaker 3: Want my should to be perfect when it comes out.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to have to go I know it's

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Speaker 3: part of the process. I don't want to have to

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Speaker 3: go through the trial and era of the awkward, like

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Speaker 3: the awkward stage.

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Speaker 2: I don't like that. I like to have a polished product.

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Speaker 3: And so for me, it was like, damn, if we're

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Speaker 3: going to start a podcast, that means we have to

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Speaker 3: fail forward. That means we got to make some mistakes.

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Speaker 3: That means we have to go through that at that

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Speaker 3: awkward teenage stage we all went through right growing up,

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Speaker 3: It's like you have to go through that to get through.

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Speaker 1: And so welcome to her Space. A podcast dedicated to

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Speaker 1: uplifting women like you. We're your hosts doctor Dominique Broussard,

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Speaker 1: a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 3: And Terry Lomax, a techie and a motivational speaker. In

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Speaker 3: a world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood,

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Speaker 3: please join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything

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Speaker 3: from fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space

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Speaker 3: where black women can just be all right, So, this

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Speaker 3: is it, this is it.

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Speaker 2: This is it.

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Speaker 3: So why are we here, Dommy? Are we here today?

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Speaker 1: We are here because we want to create that space.

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Speaker 1: That's space where black women, women of color can come

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Speaker 1: together and.

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Speaker 3: Just be.

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Speaker 1: Just talk it out and know that we're not the

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Speaker 1: only one going through something.

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Speaker 3: I love it. I would agree. I would agree we're

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Speaker 3: here to create the space that we crave because, honestly,

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Speaker 3: I think that in society today especially, I mean, we've

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Speaker 3: always had the hardest black women. I mean that's no secret, right,

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Speaker 3: We've always had it hard. I think that it's so

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Speaker 3: important for us to have a safe space where we

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Speaker 3: can let our hair down, where we can have real talk,

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Speaker 3: where we can talk about the real things that we

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Speaker 3: are experiencing, whether it's anxiety, depression, low self esteem, suicide,

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Speaker 3: or ideations, I mean, whatever it might be. I think

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Speaker 3: we need that safe space because we're often misrepresented and misunderstood. Okay, twins,

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Speaker 3: okay understood seriously, you know, and I feel like that.

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Speaker 3: You know, we're also portrayed negatively and the media often,

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Speaker 3: so I think just having a space where you can

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Speaker 3: just have some girls talk, that is why we created

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Speaker 3: this podcast. Yes, I do want to say that we

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Speaker 3: want to be transparent, we want to be raw, we

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Speaker 3: want to be real, right, and so in the spirit

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Speaker 3: of doing that, we will be We might say some

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Speaker 3: colorful words on our podcast, and our intentions aren't to

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Speaker 3: rub anyone the wrong way, but we just think that

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Speaker 3: it is it speaks to our mission to have a transparent,

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Speaker 3: raw and real space for you to connect and to

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Speaker 3: see women who look like you, that possibly sound like you,

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Speaker 3: and that have been through things like you express themselves authentically.

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Speaker 3: And this is a grown ass woman podcast. So if

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Speaker 3: you have young people around, or you have children, you

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Speaker 3: might follow us on other platforms and that might be

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Speaker 3: more suitable, but this is for us, this is her space,

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Speaker 3: this is your space, and so we will be using

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Speaker 3: some colorful language. So I just wanted to little disclaim

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Speaker 3: out there. Yeah, I think that's important, Tom, And honestly,

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Speaker 3: like the funny thing is, and we'll get into who

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Speaker 3: we are, like you know, and all that good stuff

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Speaker 3: and just a bit. But I think for me, I've

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Speaker 3: had you know, I have a brand, but I don't

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Speaker 3: necessarily curse on that brand. I don't really curse when

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Speaker 3: I do speaking. I don't really do that just because

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Speaker 3: sometimes it can be portrayed negatively. People don't understand. It

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Speaker 3: takes away from your message. But I think for us

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Speaker 3: in this space, it's important for us both to just

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Speaker 3: be raw and real and so yeah, I think it's important.

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Speaker 3: I think that it's something I mean, Hey, sometimes I

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Speaker 3: sound like a sailor in real life, and sometimes I

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Speaker 3: think that using colorful words allows you to add a

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Speaker 3: bit more flavor to what you're trying to say. So

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Speaker 3: I think that's the one thing we'll definitely do. But

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Speaker 3: it really is for women who are looking for a

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Speaker 3: safe space with women who look like them, women who

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Speaker 3: probably have experiences like you. But we just get real

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Speaker 3: and it's also going to be valuable. That's our goal

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Speaker 3: to make it a valuable conversation. And because this is

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Speaker 3: all about a conversation, we don't want it to just

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Speaker 3: be us talking on this end. As you live your life,

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Speaker 3: as you drive the kids to work, or you drive

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Speaker 3: home for work, or you're in the shower, or you're

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Speaker 3: in the bathroom or.

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Speaker 1: Whatever you're doing, you're in the kitchen, cooking, you're cleaning up,

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Speaker 1: wherever it is that you are taking time to pour

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Speaker 1: into you. We want to be a part of that space.

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Speaker 1: We want to be that resource. We want to be

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Speaker 1: that thing that you look forward to every week where

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Speaker 1: you're like, Oh, I can't wait to hear what Dom

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Speaker 1: and Terry have to say this week. What topic are

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Speaker 1: they going to be talking about this time? Because I

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Speaker 1: know after their conversation, me and my girls, we're going

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Speaker 1: to dive into it. We're going to talk about what

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Speaker 1: it means for us to have that experience that they

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Speaker 1: addressed that day. This is going to be an opportunity

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Speaker 1: to start those real conversations.

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Speaker 3: And now I know we're going to get into who

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Speaker 3: we are as individuals and just a bit, but let's

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Speaker 3: talk a bit about how we met. Yes, how domin

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Speaker 3: I met.

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Speaker 1: So I work at a University in the Bay Area

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Speaker 1: and we were having a conference for women of color

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Speaker 1: and Terry happened to be one of our keynote speakers

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Speaker 1: and I followed her on. I had seen a couple

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Speaker 1: of her posts on one of a listser that I'm

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Speaker 1: a part of, and when I saw that she was

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Speaker 1: a keynote speaker, I was like, Hey, I need to

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Speaker 1: have an opportunity to connect with her because from what

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Speaker 1: I see on her Internet presence, she's doing things. She's

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Speaker 1: connecting to black women in a way that is important,

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Speaker 1: in a way that is valuable, and I want to

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Speaker 1: be in that space. I want to be able to

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Speaker 1: be around other women who are doing things like that.

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Speaker 3: And so Dom was there in my presentation.

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Speaker 2: We touch base afterward. Good vibe.

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Speaker 3: You know how this lady when you meet another woman

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Speaker 3: and you're like, you know what kindred spirits like? Definitely

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Speaker 3: a connection. So we decided that we're going to keep

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Speaker 3: in touch. So we exchanged cars, exchange information. It took

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Speaker 3: us a few months because we both had busy schedules.

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Speaker 3: It took us a few months to finally meet up.

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Speaker 3: We ended up meeting up in San Francisco at Hazel's,

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Speaker 3: which is a black owned restaurant with amazing food, and

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Speaker 3: we met there. We ended up having a great conversation

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Speaker 3: and you know, by the end of our conversation, we

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Speaker 3: like literally said, oh, we're going to create a podcast.

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Speaker 3: It was not planned. I personally wanted to start a

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Speaker 3: podcast for a while, but I was struggling with accountability

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Speaker 3: because being accountable to yourself sometimes is a struggle. You

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Speaker 3: might know how that is, like me. And so we

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Speaker 3: just connected over this amazing mission to create a space

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Speaker 3: for women. We didn't know what it was going to

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Speaker 3: be called, We didn't know what we were going to do.

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Speaker 3: We had none of the tech stuff down. We were

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Speaker 3: just like, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it.

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Speaker 1: And so that was in July. So we initially met

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Speaker 1: just to give you all, like just to keep it

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Speaker 1: real with y'all. Like we met in February at a conference. Yes, yeah,

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Speaker 1: then we were in contact, but weren't able to connect

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Speaker 1: in person until July. And that shows you what patience

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Speaker 1: and persistence can do. That neither one of us gave up.

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Speaker 1: We knew that the other person had a busy schedule,

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Speaker 1: but we were determined that there was something that was

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Speaker 1: drawing us together and we needed to see it through.

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Speaker 1: So after our meeting in July, we said, okay, wait,

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Speaker 1: are we really going to do this podcast? Are we

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Speaker 1: really going to make this happen? I mean, we see

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Speaker 1: how long it took for us to get connected in person.

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Speaker 1: Are we really going to hold each other accountable? Can

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Speaker 1: we really do this?

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Speaker 3: That's right? And now we are here and it has

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Speaker 3: been it has been a scary journey. I'm not gonna lie.

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Speaker 3: It is one thing that Domini recognized. We had a

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Speaker 3: really good conversation when we met, and one thing we

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Speaker 3: talked about is our personal strengths. Right, we got like

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Speaker 3: right to the nitty gritty, the stuff that you don't

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Speaker 3: find out about somebody until years down the line. We

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Speaker 3: talked about our strengths. We talked about our areas for improvement,

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Speaker 3: other areas that we aren't necessarily strong in, so that

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Speaker 3: we could figure out if we were a good fits.

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Speaker 3: So before we even got to the podcast, it was like,

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Speaker 3: tell me about yourself, tell me about your personality, what

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Speaker 3: are your pet peeves like? Who are you as a person?

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Speaker 3: Because we wanted to make sure that we would be

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Speaker 3: a good fit, a good team, and so Once we

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Speaker 3: found that out, we were like, you know what this

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Speaker 3: is like, this is like destiny right now? Yes, this

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Speaker 3: is meant to be ye, you know. And so now

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Speaker 3: we're here and we are both recovering perfectionists and so

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Speaker 3: like that, like that recovering perfectionist.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 3: And so we told ourselves that, you know what, though

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Speaker 3: ideally we will want to have everything in order, we

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Speaker 3: want to have a nice little studio, We want to

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Speaker 3: have a list of amazing guests lined up for you,

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Speaker 3: we said, we're going to start with what we have

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Speaker 3: and do our best, and we'll continue to tweak it

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Speaker 3: as we move along. But you can never make adjustments

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Speaker 3: and grow if you don't get started.

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Speaker 1: So that's right, right, and we're taking you along for

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Speaker 1: the rise because part of what her Space is supposed

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Speaker 1: to be about is empowerment. And as we empower ourselves

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Speaker 1: to stick through this process, we want to also empower

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Speaker 1: you all through our example of seeing that all it

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Speaker 1: takes is take like stepping out, and it might be scary,

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Speaker 1: and there might be so many things that could get

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Speaker 1: in the way, but you just have to take that

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Speaker 1: first step and you work everything out as it comes.

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Speaker 3: And her is also an acronym for healing, empowerment, and resilience.

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Speaker 3: So that is some of the content that you will

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Speaker 3: be getting from the podcast.

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Speaker 2: And so right now, we.

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Speaker 3: Just want to shift gears a bit, and we want to.

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Speaker 2: Tell you a little bit about us.

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Speaker 3: Who are we? Who are these ladies? If you're just

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Speaker 3: tuning in and you're like, I don't know who they are,

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Speaker 3: but I'm dating them, I'm gonna stick around and see

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Speaker 3: what this is all about. We want to give you

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Speaker 3: an idea of who we are, ladies. So I'm going

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Speaker 3: to ask dim a few questions so you can learn

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Speaker 3: about her. She's gonna ask me a few questions, and

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Speaker 3: we will get this show on the road. So, don

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Speaker 3: where are you from?

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Speaker 1: I am from five oh four, a New Orleans, A

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Speaker 1: boy and raised, Yes, definitely, that's what's up.

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Speaker 3: Born and raised in New Orleans. So what about your backgrounds? Like,

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Speaker 3: career wise, what have you done? Yeah, career rise, what

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Speaker 3: have you done? And where are you at in your

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Speaker 3: life right now?

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Speaker 1: So let's see. I'll start kind of from the beginning

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Speaker 1: and work my way to present. So I earned my

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Speaker 1: bachelor's degree in psychology from Loyola University, New Orleans, again

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Speaker 1: shout out to the hometown. Then I went to graduate

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Speaker 1: school at the University of Georgia, where I earned my

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Speaker 1: master's in Community counseling and my doctorate in counseling Psychology.

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Speaker 1: I did an internship at the University of North Carolina

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Speaker 1: Chapel Hill. I did a postdoc at the University of Houston.

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Speaker 1: I taught for several years at Texas Southern University in Houston, Texas,

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Speaker 1: and was also adjunct professor at University of Houston. And

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Speaker 1: then a couple of years ago, I moved here to

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Speaker 1: the Bay Area and I am now a psycholog and

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Speaker 1: college professor at the University of San Francisco.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so let's just take a quick pause and just

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Speaker 3: taking all that black girl magic and black excellence. Okay, well,

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Speaker 3: thank you, thank you. Hey, Yes, I love it. I

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Speaker 3: love it. Let's see what else, Dom. Is there anything

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Speaker 3: that you want me to ask that you don't get

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Speaker 3: asked often?

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Speaker 1: Oh, that's a great question.

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Speaker 2: Hmm.

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Speaker 1: I think there are a ton of great questions that

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Speaker 1: are a ton of things that people don't often ask.

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Speaker 1: But I think we'll save that for the podcast. We'll

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Speaker 1: save that for future episodes. We'll dive in and lady,

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Speaker 1: if you have questions that you want to ask, things

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Speaker 1: that you want to know, feel free to contact us

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Speaker 1: and ask those questions, because again, we want to create

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Speaker 1: this space not just for Terry and I, but for

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Speaker 1: you as well.

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Speaker 2: That's right.

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Speaker 3: So you can send us an email at her Space

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Speaker 3: podcast at gmail dot com and we'll respond to your questions.

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Speaker 3: If you want advice on something, we got you. We're

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Speaker 3: here for you. So I'm gonna pass it over to

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Speaker 3: Dom so you can ask some questions about me so

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Speaker 3: you can get to know who this Terry person is,

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Speaker 3: all right, all right, So Terry, I'm all nervous, no need,

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Speaker 3: no need.

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Speaker 1: You're not on the therapist couch today, not today. So

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Speaker 1: I know that I you know, I represent my hometown

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Speaker 1: real hard. Do you have the same affinity for where

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Speaker 1: you're from?

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Speaker 3: That's a really good question, tom So, to be honest,

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Speaker 3: not really, just because I've lived so many different places

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Speaker 3: and I'm what my friends have called by coastal because

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Speaker 3: I was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Philly six seven, worn

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Speaker 3: out all the area codes, and I was raised in

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Speaker 3: San Diego, California for like ten years, and I've just

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Speaker 3: moved all over, So no real place, but I love

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Speaker 3: to travel. I lived in New York, Tampa, San Francisco,

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Speaker 3: San Diego, so yeah, I like that.

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Speaker 2: I like to move around a lot.

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Speaker 1: And what is your favorite place out of all of those?

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Speaker 2: My favorite place is probably.

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Speaker 3: I would say San Francisco, just because with San Diego weather,

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Speaker 3: but just because I was a kid living in San Diego,

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Speaker 3: so it was fun that I love being an adult

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Speaker 3: in San Francisco living here. It's just so fun. So yeah, okay, okay.

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Speaker 1: Now I mentioned earlier that when I met you at

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Speaker 1: the conference, one of the things that excited me about

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Speaker 1: the opportunity to meet you was that I had seen

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Speaker 1: some of your work on a list serve. So tell

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Speaker 1: me a little bit about what you do.

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Speaker 3: Yes, So, by day, I work at a tech company

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Speaker 3: in San Francisco, which is my day job because I'm

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Speaker 3: still I call my day drop my dream funder, still

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Speaker 3: trying to fund those other side households and dreams. And

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Speaker 3: so outside of the day job, I do motivational speaking

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Speaker 3: with a company called cool Speak, and so I speak

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Speaker 3: about everything from depression, overcoming adversity, college readiness, and self

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Speaker 3: esteem along social media and in addition to that I

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Speaker 3: have the Moca Girls Pitstop Blog, which is my baby.

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Speaker 3: I've had the blog. I started that in July of

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Speaker 3: twenty twelve, and the Mocha Girl's Pit Stop Blog is

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Speaker 3: the place for women of color refuel on motivation and

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Speaker 3: ignite their lives. And so that's been a labor of

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Speaker 3: love for me, a place where I've talked about some

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Speaker 3: very serious topics. Will probably dive into some of them

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Speaker 3: on the podcast, but yes, that is that's my baby.

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Speaker 3: So those are some of the things that I do

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Speaker 3: outside of outside of the podcast here.

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Speaker 1: All right, all right, and so anything else that you

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Speaker 1: want us to know.

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Speaker 3: Hmm, Well, I will say we're not going to dive

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Speaker 3: into everything in this episode, but you will definitely want

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Speaker 3: to stay tuned because we have some topics that we

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Speaker 3: really want to dive into. We really want to dive

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Speaker 3: into some of these taboo topics. We're all about transparency,

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Speaker 3: and so we're gonna we're gonna dive into some it's

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Speaker 3: gonna be it's gonna be heavy. It's gonna be good,

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Speaker 3: but it's gonna be heavy. And we just want to

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Speaker 3: create that space again where you can have conversations and

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Speaker 3: you can be empowered. And I kind of think that

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Speaker 3: takes us to our quote for the day here, which

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Speaker 3: is by the lovely Eam Love Van ZANDT. And so

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Speaker 3: I'll let Dom go ahead and just read this quote

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Speaker 3: for us today and we'll talk about what it means

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Speaker 3: to us.

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Speaker 1: All Right, It's time for you to move realizing that

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Speaker 1: the thing you are seeking is also seeking you. I'm

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Speaker 1: lot that sit there for a moment. It's time for

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Speaker 1: you to move realizing that the thing you are seeking

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Speaker 1: is also seeking you.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that's just powerful. I love that quote, I really do.

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Speaker 1: As soon as I saw it, I knew that it

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Speaker 1: spoke to us for our first episode. It just fits.

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Speaker 1: We talked about being afraid of the unknown and hesitating

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Speaker 1: to step out and try it. But this is real,

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Speaker 1: this thing that we are doing this podcast, Maybe it's

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Speaker 1: been seeking us all along and now is the time.

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Speaker 3: That is so spot on. I would agree with that

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Speaker 3: because I think that it's definitely something I've thought about.

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Speaker 3: I know that you've been thinking about expanding your brand

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Speaker 3: and impacting women in a different way as well. And

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Speaker 3: I think for me, there were so many fears, like

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Speaker 3: I am impatient, I want to I want to be

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Speaker 3: I want my stuff to be I want my shilf

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Speaker 3: to be perfect when it comes out. I don't want

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Speaker 3: to have to go I know it's part of the process.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to have to go through the trial

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Speaker 3: and era of the awkward, like the awkward stage. I

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Speaker 3: don't like that. I like to have a polished product.

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Speaker 3: And so for me, it was like, damn, if we're

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Speaker 3: going to start a podcast, that means we have to

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Speaker 3: fail forward. That means we got to make some mistakes.

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Speaker 3: That means we have to go through that, like that

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Speaker 3: awkward teenage stage we all went through right growing up.

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Speaker 3: It's like you have to go through that to get through.

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Speaker 3: And so that was a fear. I was also fearful about,

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Speaker 3: you know, I like to have things scripted, so to speak,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean, So being able to just

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Speaker 3: kind of wing it, wing it, it was just like, oh,

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Speaker 3: it may be nervous, you know. The technology was another fear,

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Speaker 3: like not.

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Speaker 1: I am not tex sing. Let me just tell you

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Speaker 1: not at all, but y'all, I brought a microphone.

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Speaker 3: Now I'm gonna mic y'all. Y'all watch out, watch y'all, y'all.

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Speaker 2: Down't gotta mic. But yeah, it's like the technological aspect.

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Speaker 3: I mean the time. We're both very busy women. I

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Speaker 3: mean we have set up a schedule to record the

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Speaker 3: podcast after work, and so it's like a labor of love,

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Speaker 3: you know, just sacrificing and doing what we need to do.

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Speaker 3: And when you think about it's time for you to move, right,

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Speaker 3: what is that thing that you've been thinking about in

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Speaker 3: your life? What is that thing that you've been waiting for?

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Speaker 3: The perfect circumstance, you know, we do and we're like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna wait till the kids graduate. I'm gonna wait

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Speaker 3: until you know, I get this degree. I'm gonna wait

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Speaker 3: until my mama, you know, whatever, wherever it is, wherever

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Speaker 3: it is, I'm gonna wait until it's like, no, we

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Speaker 3: life is not promised.

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Speaker 2: Life is precious. It's short. Go out there, take the.

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Speaker 3: First step and tweak it as you go along.

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Speaker 1: Right, And this is perfect timing. You're hearing this in

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Speaker 1: the first week of the new year. What better time

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Speaker 1: to take that step on that thing that you have

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Speaker 1: been fearing, that you've been saying you want to do

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Speaker 1: what you've been afraid to do. We always create New

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Speaker 1: Year's resolutions. How about this time we step into the fear.

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Speaker 1: I like what you said a minute ago about fail forward,

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Speaker 1: and so we're gonna do this. We're gonna do that

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Speaker 1: too with this podcast. You all are gonna hear it

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Speaker 1: as it comes. We may listen to this two years

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Speaker 1: from now and may we may be saying, oh, what

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Speaker 1: did we What were we talking about?

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Speaker 3: Girl?

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Speaker 1: Because we may have made a ton of progress. It

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Speaker 1: could be two years from now that we listen and

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Speaker 1: we're like, man, why did we stop? Maybe we need

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Speaker 1: to revisit. We have no idea where this journey is

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Speaker 1: going to take us, but we knew we needed to

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Speaker 1: at least start it. And here we are, and we

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Speaker 1: want to thank you for embarking on this journey with us.

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Speaker 3: Yes, we are super excited. And I do really want

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Speaker 3: to touch on that last part of this quote, right

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Speaker 3: where it says, realize the thing that you are.

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Speaker 2: Seeking is also seeking you.

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Speaker 3: There's a quote that I'm a quote queen like, I

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Speaker 3: love quotes, and there's a quote that says, the creator

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Speaker 3: did not give you a longing to do that which

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Speaker 3: you have no ability to do. I'm gonna say that

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Speaker 3: one more time. The creator did not give you a

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Speaker 3: longing to do that which you have no ability to do.

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Speaker 3: And when I hear that, it makes me think about

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Speaker 3: the fact that if you have an idea, if you

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Speaker 3: have this burning in your soul, if you have this

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Speaker 3: thing that you just keep thinking about at your day

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Speaker 3: job and you just can't sleep, you just think about

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Speaker 3: ideas all day and you're just like this thing. I

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Speaker 3: feel like it's calling me. That thing is seeking you,

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Speaker 3: and it's way waiting for you to take that action step,

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Speaker 3: that first step, so that you can begin to attract

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Speaker 3: all of the other things that you've been waiting for

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Speaker 3: to bring everything together. I really believe that once we

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Speaker 3: step forward and show the universe that we're serious, we

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Speaker 3: show God, whatever higher power you believe, and we show

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Speaker 3: that higher power that you know that we're ready to

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Speaker 3: take that step, that's when all the doors open. That's

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Speaker 3: when you start attracting things like maggot. Yeah, wait, magnegnet,

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Speaker 3: I'm maggots, but magnets. There we go fell forward, Yes, magnets.

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Speaker 3: So we want to thank you lady for tuning in

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Speaker 3: to our first episode. We hope it wasn't too awkward.

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Speaker 3: We hope that you got some value from it, but

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Speaker 3: just know that you are going to get a lot

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Speaker 3: more content and we'll see you next time.

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Speaker 1: In her Space. Thanks for joining us today in her Space.

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Speaker 1: Please note that our show may contain conversations about self help, advice,

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Speaker 1: self empowerment, and mental health, but it is by no

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Speaker 1: means meant to be a substitute for an ongoing formal

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Speaker 1: relationship with a trained mental health provider. If you or

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Speaker 1: someone you know is in need of mental health care,

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Speaker 1: please visit the Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today

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Speaker 1: or contact your insurance provider.

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Speaker 3: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

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Speaker 3: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and

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Speaker 3: Twitter at her Space podcast or check out our website

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00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 3: at herspacepodcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat

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Speaker 3: after me, I am not defined by where I come

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Speaker 3: from or what happened to me. I get to create

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Speaker 3: my own destiny.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us. We'll see you next week, Lady