1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:07,880 Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glazer, a mental health podcast 2 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 1: helping you out of the gray and into the blue. 3 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:18,079 Speaker 1: Now here's Jay Glazer. Welcome back to Unbreakable, a mental 4 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: health podcast with Jay Glazer. I am Jay Glazer, and look, 5 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,279 Speaker 1: it was about a year ago where a friend of 6 00:00:25,320 --> 00:00:28,159 Speaker 1: mine who I have trained with, who lived with me 7 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 1: and my son for a while, came out on national 8 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 1: television and told the world he was struggling. That friend 9 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 1: just happens to be the best tackle the National Football 10 00:00:36,320 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: League and Lane Johnson, and it was at that moment 11 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:42,840 Speaker 1: also he gave me almost permission to come on television 12 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,279 Speaker 1: and tell the world that I was struggling with what 13 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 1: I call the gray depression anxiety. So I said a 14 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: year later, Hey, let's run a back, big boy. Lane Johnson, 15 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: Welcome to Unbreakable. How are you, brother man? A year 16 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 1: ago we did that interview and you said to me, 17 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 1: I've been stuck in hell. Since we've done that, in 18 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,760 Speaker 1: this past year, do you still feel like you're stuck 19 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 1: in that hell of depression anxiety or as alleviate? Have 20 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:09,920 Speaker 1: you been able to see a little heaven? No, I'm 21 00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: gonna I'm in a much better headspace compared to last year. UM, 22 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 1: I mean I was dealing with a number of things, 23 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 1: primarily UM the surgery had on my ankle put me 24 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:22,280 Speaker 1: in a bad spot. I wasn't able to work out 25 00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,760 Speaker 1: feel the same, uh you know, doing day to day 26 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 1: stuff for my profession without feeling pains. It was always 27 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: on my mind and amplified. And then I think we 28 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: just some of the medication I was on maybe it 29 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 1: wasn't agreeing with me in my system. You know, whenever 30 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: your body feels uh extremes like that to where you 31 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:44,959 Speaker 1: have like convulsions like the shades ramers in your hands, 32 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:48,400 Speaker 1: it's really scary and it's uh, and it's something that 33 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:51,560 Speaker 1: it seems like it's always over unique and can it 34 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 1: can really can take control of your life. Um. And 35 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: it's hard to really open up and express what it 36 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: really feels like the people who maybe ignorant of the feeling, 37 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: but once you get it, it's uh. The fear that 38 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,520 Speaker 1: you have in your in your system is like overload 39 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,040 Speaker 1: to where it's hard to describe. But I feel like 40 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: all my a lot of my anxieties all have always 41 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: come from just like internal pressures, I think, um, you know, 42 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:20,639 Speaker 1: coming from a small town. My goal was always to 43 00:02:20,680 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: be UM an NFL player, and so you know the 44 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,919 Speaker 1: odds of doing that is high. But I just feel 45 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,760 Speaker 1: like I was always hard wired. If I always had, 46 00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: you know, my mind set on something, I would always 47 00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,360 Speaker 1: you know, pretty much stay to it. You put too 48 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 1: much pressure on yourself, like you you were yeah, yeah, 49 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 1: goals that really aren't attainable, you know yeah, and even 50 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 1: when you do attain them, it's like, well you're expecting 51 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 1: to get them anyway. So it's like, you know, you 52 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 1: had yourself and shackles almost And so that was, I know, 53 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,079 Speaker 1: when type of situation. I feel like since last year after, 54 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:54,120 Speaker 1: I feel liberated, you know, having come you know forward 55 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,919 Speaker 1: about it. When I realized, you know, there was people 56 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: from the coach organization UM that reached out. I just 57 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:01,960 Speaker 1: I could touch a lot of people in the NFL 58 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: because a lot of athletes are going through this. People 59 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 1: I go against there going through the same exact struggles. 60 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:09,720 Speaker 1: And it's UM. You know, our job is to go 61 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 1: win win football games, and there's a lot at stake, 62 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,239 Speaker 1: you know, people's you know, it's a it's a high 63 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: price game, you know, uh, season in season out for 64 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 1: people who didn't see the feature that you and I 65 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,519 Speaker 1: did last year. Just and I said to you, look 66 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 1: my depression and anxiety when it kicks in, I feel 67 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 1: it on the left side of my gut, philip, behind 68 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 1: my rib cage, and I feel in my joints like 69 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: I just went through a fifty round fight in the rain. Right. 70 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: So for people who didn't see our feature, described to 71 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 1: people what your depression anxiety did to you, what it 72 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: cost you. Uh, Mine was where every time I woke up, 73 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 1: it was like I was in full anxiety attack mode. 74 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: So I lost a lot of weight, probably fifteen twenty 75 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:54,119 Speaker 1: pounds doing day to day activities. Was it was hard 76 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 1: to function, and then trying to play football on top 77 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: of it, I couldn't do it no more. I was 78 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: at a I was at a place where, um, you know, 79 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: I feel like my body had was had all that 80 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: they could take and all that it can muster. And 81 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: so I really needed help and to stop putting this 82 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,480 Speaker 1: stuff in the corner um and letting it consume me, 83 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,960 Speaker 1: you know a little bit of a time and UH 84 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,599 Speaker 1: really come to grips with it, and I feel like 85 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,720 Speaker 1: further undunderstand yourself. I feel like whenever you're putting these 86 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,279 Speaker 1: positions that will it opens yourself up well to you, 87 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,520 Speaker 1: and so you have to maybe confront different sides of 88 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:31,040 Speaker 1: yourself that you know you don't really understand. You also 89 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:34,480 Speaker 1: said you were you were thrown up in front of blood, right, Yeah, 90 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,479 Speaker 1: well I've thrown up so much something like when I'm saying, 91 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,560 Speaker 1: when I get these anxiety attacks, so the first thing 92 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 1: I feel is in your stomach because it's like the 93 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:43,920 Speaker 1: fight or flight response, and all that blood rushes away 94 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 1: from your stomach and you can get uh, yeah, very nauseous. 95 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 1: This happens every game day for me. By the way, 96 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: this has happened ever since, uh really high school. But 97 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,280 Speaker 1: whenever this was going on, I thought it was due 98 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,839 Speaker 1: to my medication that I was on. A lot of 99 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,719 Speaker 1: it was due to bad side effects. So when you 100 00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: have an that ss A r I uh side effects, 101 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 1: they can range some like cold the flu like symptoms. 102 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,760 Speaker 1: You can have tremors in your hand, like convulsions, and 103 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,719 Speaker 1: they stay with you. They don't they don't really go 104 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 1: away because this stuff is messing with your serotonin um 105 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:18,040 Speaker 1: you know, neurotransmitters in your brain and so chemically, when 106 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:23,120 Speaker 1: that stuff isn't but you were so like want, yeah, 107 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,839 Speaker 1: I want people to say that you're on medication. Yeah, 108 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 1: I was on the extended extended release. Um, and what 109 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,719 Speaker 1: I was doing was usually I had regular prescriptions to 110 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: where you could split them, and so with this extended release, 111 00:05:37,839 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: there's a there's a reason why it's made the way 112 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 1: it is is to not be split. And so basically 113 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:46,120 Speaker 1: I went from a pretty decent dose to nothing and 114 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 1: so and these are the type of you went through 115 00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: pretty much. Yeah, because you're supposed to taper down. There's 116 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,560 Speaker 1: a tapering system of these, and so the withdrawals and 117 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 1: news syndoms from these were terrible. And so the medication 118 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,880 Speaker 1: I was almost Paxil, and so that is known to 119 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: have the worst side effects of any of This is 120 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: our hours. Do you are you still on medication? On 121 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,159 Speaker 1: different medication now? Yeah, yeah, I'm on a different medication. 122 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,279 Speaker 1: And you know, even with the whole medication, they always 123 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,320 Speaker 1: saw it as like a crutch, and um, you know, 124 00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 1: if you had something bad with your need, you know 125 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: you're gonna take something for that or you know something. 126 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,279 Speaker 1: This is no different. This should be taking even more seriously. 127 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: But I feel like just us, we we've become very 128 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:28,040 Speaker 1: good at what we practice. So if like we're very good, 129 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,960 Speaker 1: you know, the anxiety builds up and you're constantly distracting yourself. 130 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 1: For I feel like we're attracted to drama. You know, 131 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: social media has drama on it. Yeah, your brain almost 132 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:39,600 Speaker 1: gets addicted to it. And whenever you don't have that, 133 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:43,640 Speaker 1: you know, that stimulation from that it manifests and anxiety. 134 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:46,440 Speaker 1: You know. But but the reason why I'm asking about 135 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,360 Speaker 1: your your meds, I want people to hear this, Like, 136 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: I've been on over thirty and I haven't found any 137 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,680 Speaker 1: of that work for me yet. I use I haven't 138 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: said this publicly yet. I used kinamine intrusions UM and 139 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: that is the only but that's an IV. I haven't 140 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: had a pill. Had one pill that worked for about 141 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,160 Speaker 1: four days, but I just metabolized things. But I'll never stop. Like, 142 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,600 Speaker 1: if we can find medication that's gonna work for me, 143 00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: I'm gonna take it. So I want people to understand 144 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 1: that I'm not against men's. Lane is not against men's 145 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 1: That's why I wanted him to say that he's using them. 146 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: Anything that we could do is not a crutch and 147 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 1: it's not a weakness If it works for you, God 148 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 1: bless you. Yeah, I just think it's it's another part 149 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,560 Speaker 1: of the plan of attack. I feel like this along 150 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:31,000 Speaker 1: with I thought just training your mind, um, really learning 151 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:33,080 Speaker 1: to quiet your mind and practice it because we don't 152 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,040 Speaker 1: practice it. Like I said, a lot of our world 153 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: now is full of distractions. So like even like you 154 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 1: were talking about for the podcast, you know, breath work, 155 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 1: that's something's been around for a long time. It's just 156 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: you know, starting to come around here in the US, 157 00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: some people practicing it. And then you know, for what 158 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: we do, it's all about stress control and trying to 159 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 1: be your best self every day and and not have 160 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 1: like like your thoughts running away with you. I feel 161 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,440 Speaker 1: like that's the problem, your thoughts. You gotta learn to 162 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,240 Speaker 1: really quiet your mind, and it's hard to do if 163 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: you don't practice it. One thing I learned from you, 164 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: which you didn't even tend to teach, is you know, 165 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,480 Speaker 1: you and I were talking to you were talking about journaling, 166 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:10,400 Speaker 1: and this didn't make the peace. And so I've had 167 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,400 Speaker 1: an anxiety tech every time I've ever been on TV 168 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: from two thousand five till now and up until I 169 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: should say when I wrote the book. Once you said 170 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:23,120 Speaker 1: your journal I had already written the book when you 171 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 1: and I sat down and talk last year, and then 172 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 1: I realized, So I'm a bit I haven't been having 173 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:31,040 Speaker 1: these anxiety texts panic attacks when I've been going on 174 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 1: TVs Office. I'm like, Man, I wonder because I've been journaling, 175 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:36,960 Speaker 1: which in the book for me, basically writing a book 176 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: is journaling. So that was huge. So you still like, 177 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 1: what's your practice now? You do you journal? Now? To 178 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,000 Speaker 1: you your meditation, breathwork, I know you work out like 179 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:49,559 Speaker 1: a motherfucker. What else is part of your your journey 180 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: to get you through this? Uh? Well, there's a well. 181 00:08:52,679 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: So during the off season I went to Dr Aiman, 182 00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:59,000 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, who has the aim and clinics, and so 183 00:08:59,200 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: basically did a spake scan of my brain and so 184 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:04,280 Speaker 1: he's kind of able to diagnose like which areas of 185 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:07,080 Speaker 1: the brain is kind of more overactive, and can describe 186 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: me kind of why you're filming in certain ways. But um, 187 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 1: obviously he's big on meditation. Um. I think it's called 188 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:16,640 Speaker 1: cart crea. I think it's the name of it. Um, 189 00:09:16,679 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: he's big on that. It's almost like a like a 190 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 1: mantra to quiet your minddental meditation. Yeah, yeah, what he said, 191 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,520 Speaker 1: uh from the mantra though like some of the studies 192 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 1: I know one of the studies is from the University 193 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 1: University of uh think, Pennsylvania. But I think he did 194 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:34,719 Speaker 1: an eight weeks study of just people that practice this 195 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 1: every day. They showed a lot a lot better blood 196 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:40,280 Speaker 1: flow in the frontal prefrontal cortex of the brain, and 197 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 1: so they are a lot more sharp focused, able to 198 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,720 Speaker 1: deal with stress, a lot better anxiety. Um. But basically 199 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: what he said, it's like, it's a workout for your 200 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 1: for your mind. Um, practicing this, you do that, now 201 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: you do Yeah. I got to do a lot of 202 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:00,720 Speaker 1: that before before games or the night before, UM, to 203 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,599 Speaker 1: really just try to calm the system that down. It 204 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:04,560 Speaker 1: really quiet, the quiet the mind down. So when I'm 205 00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: on the field, I'm just uh, you got the roommates 206 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: in your head to stop talking? Yeah, yeah, exact to play, 207 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: to play nicely, to with each other. I should say yeah, 208 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,600 Speaker 1: well yeah really just I'm just I'm trying not to 209 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: think nothing. I'm gonna go on the field and not 210 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:19,320 Speaker 1: i'l like the main problem with with things is over thinking. 211 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: So I just want to just I'm just living in 212 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: the present. The most president I can be. So I want, 213 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: I want to get back to you. And I did 214 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 1: the feature and I know if you're nervous at one 215 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:34,079 Speaker 1: point going in, tell me more about the reaction after 216 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: you did the piece. Now that made you feel? I 217 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,720 Speaker 1: just I just knew that a lot of you know, 218 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,839 Speaker 1: I feel like I represented uh, just a lot of 219 00:10:40,920 --> 00:10:43,720 Speaker 1: guys in the NFL that felt the same way that, uh, 220 00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 1: you know, deal with these things and maybe don't even 221 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,160 Speaker 1: you know, talk to anybody really about it. These are 222 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: things kept hidden to them, to themselves, and you know, 223 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,160 Speaker 1: and I learned this stuff from like whenever my teammate 224 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: Brandon Books went to a similar or deal and yeah, 225 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 1: we just realized that we have a lot more in common. 226 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 1: And I think the main thing to break the fold 227 00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:08,080 Speaker 1: is to talk obviously communication and then really have a 228 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:11,240 Speaker 1: plan of attacks to really okay your mental health? What 229 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 1: does that look like? How are we hitting all the 230 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,640 Speaker 1: boxes um to protect our minds and really just our 231 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: peace of mind? But how to make you feel like 232 00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 1: these players reaching out? Did you were you able to 233 00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 1: feel was it able to lift you? Yeah? Yeah, I 234 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,680 Speaker 1: mean I felt I just felt liberated, just felt just 235 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: telling my story and then the reactions, Like I knew 236 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:34,400 Speaker 1: I was gonna have different reactions, most mostly all positive. Yeah, 237 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 1: I just you know a lot of these conversations that 238 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,320 Speaker 1: I had as the players after the games, like hey man, 239 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,720 Speaker 1: I got through similar stuff. You know. That was Yeah, 240 00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: that was That was the biggest touching home moment, was 241 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 1: just seeing all the guys after the games and having 242 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 1: these conversations with the guys and uh, you know that 243 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,960 Speaker 1: meant the world to me. He's ready story you can 244 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,079 Speaker 1: tell where somebody in particular came over you after game 245 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:56,839 Speaker 1: and just touched you and something he said to you. You 246 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 1: You don't have to use his name if you don't 247 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:01,000 Speaker 1: want to. Yes, one the right as guys are pretty 248 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 1: pretty notable players had some struggles came with to me 249 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,920 Speaker 1: and uh, you know he said that amen, praying for you. 250 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,440 Speaker 1: You know I've gone through similar stuff, and uh yeah, 251 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 1: I mean, just like just what I said, It's it's 252 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 1: all too very common that we all have these similar issues. 253 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,760 Speaker 1: But it's also very common that nobody knows it because 254 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 1: we don't talk about it a lot. You know, it's 255 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: crazy too. So again, I trained lane for a couple 256 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 1: of years and mixed martial arts and then he lived 257 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:29,280 Speaker 1: with my son and I um, and his big thing was, 258 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,960 Speaker 1: obviously I'm short. My son at the time was I 259 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,319 Speaker 1: don't know what was saving me back to the ten 260 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:37,400 Speaker 1: or whatever. So he was short. And Lane used to say, Man, 261 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:39,320 Speaker 1: I feel like sucking Gandalf in this place where you 262 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 1: two hobbits. So, but is it amazing that we're our 263 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 1: lives have gone? Because when I trained you mixed martial arts. 264 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:51,000 Speaker 1: My entire thing to you, don't show it, don't show 265 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,840 Speaker 1: your hurt. Right, what was my thing? Neutral face, neutral face, 266 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 1: don't fucking show it. If you're hurt, if you're tired, 267 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 1: you will never fucking know. Right, Lane, up your ship, right, 268 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:02,640 Speaker 1: if you put your hands on your heads, right, don't 269 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,719 Speaker 1: fucking show it. And here I am now preaching to 270 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,560 Speaker 1: the world, and you now also preaching the world the 271 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:12,840 Speaker 1: complete opposite in life, show it all, tell it all, 272 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:17,679 Speaker 1: say it all, show your pain, show your vulnerability. I'm 273 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 1: still trying to process me living the two worlds. Yeah, well, 274 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:24,360 Speaker 1: I think what she said really does apply to really 275 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 1: like your sports, so yours was mixed martial arts, mind 276 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,240 Speaker 1: and football. And yeah, whenever you are in that cage, 277 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 1: you you you do need to have that you don't 278 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 1: show any negative body language. You're a warrior in there. 279 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 1: But like you said, it's very hard to separate that 280 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 1: personality that lifestyle. Okay, now we're heading at home, we're 281 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: going to somewhere else, and it's hard to flip the 282 00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: switch to turn it off. And I think that's the 283 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: main thing, is that it's hard for us to flip 284 00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:52,920 Speaker 1: the switch to turn it off because this is something 285 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: so ingrained with you, or something you've been so passionate 286 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 1: about your whole life, and it really takes, really takes 287 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,600 Speaker 1: a hold of you as your identity. Where there you 288 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,440 Speaker 1: like it or not, there's something you put a lot 289 00:14:02,559 --> 00:14:05,520 Speaker 1: of your thoughts and time and energy on the start 290 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 1: thinking about. So it's hard to go to something else. 291 00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:10,559 Speaker 1: Have you been able to take because I think a 292 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,480 Speaker 1: lot of our issues go from come from social media. 293 00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,840 Speaker 1: You know we immediately Yeah, man, we're comparing ourselves. Everybody 294 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:21,280 Speaker 1: else's filtered fraction of a second on fucking Facebook and Instagram, 295 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:24,600 Speaker 1: but also Twitter. Man, we're just seeing so much ship 296 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 1: talked about us, yet we're addicted to us. Have you 297 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,840 Speaker 1: been able to quit that addiction? Yeah? Well I have. 298 00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 1: I have helped with my social media stuff, so my Instagram, 299 00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,280 Speaker 1: my Twitter, so I really try to look at that 300 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,840 Speaker 1: during the uh really just you know, as I've gotten older, 301 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: just celess I want to listen to the radio. The 302 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: more I like to listen to podcasts or listen to 303 00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: you know, staying my own stuff because I feel like 304 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 1: with everything you turn on, I mean, eighty percent of 305 00:14:50,160 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 1: it is negatives. Just a negative, just constant. You know. 306 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 1: That's what the world's turned into, unfortunately, turned into drama. Um, 307 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,720 Speaker 1: Like you said, the the Internet, I don't know. I 308 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 1: feel like there's no accountability on there. I feel like, hey, 309 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 1: if you gotta profile, how you need to need some 310 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,960 Speaker 1: identity with some identification with it too. You can't just 311 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 1: you gotta be you get You must be held accountable 312 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:14,120 Speaker 1: for what you say. Wouldn't that be a great world? 313 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,000 Speaker 1: But it's incredible too because the ship people say to us, 314 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:22,080 Speaker 1: imagine you walking into somebody's job and us walking up 315 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 1: to some mu's boss and go, hey, hey, hey, Johnny 316 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: over there in the office two or four he stuck it. Taxes, 317 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:34,520 Speaker 1: terrible taxes, right, fucking fire hip. That's what people do 318 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:39,640 Speaker 1: to us. Come on, yeah, you're not gonna state of paranoia, 319 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,520 Speaker 1: but like it comes with the territory. Like what I 320 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 1: realized is that it's all at the end of the day, 321 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,920 Speaker 1: it's all about the consumer enjoying the game or enjoying 322 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 1: the fights, the spectator, the fans, um. So it's part 323 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,000 Speaker 1: of the game. Like, yeah, but we have feelings, motherfucker. 324 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 1: Yeah existed in seventies and eighties. It was just it 325 00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,520 Speaker 1: was I feel like it's more face to face and 326 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: it hadn't to go go type all their anger out 327 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: and vent, you know, give me the give me the point. 328 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 1: I guess the hardest time for you, for the lowest 329 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,680 Speaker 1: point you have that you got through. Yeah, I mean 330 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:13,960 Speaker 1: it's probably been the past three years because, like, like 331 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 1: I said, a lot of this step for right, Yeah, 332 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:18,840 Speaker 1: a lot of this step for my injury, you know, 333 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,800 Speaker 1: and having to play professional sport and not feel the same. 334 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,880 Speaker 1: We're in constant pain. Yeah, I mean, somebody just gave me. Hell, 335 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,600 Speaker 1: I just thought I thought I was gonna retire early, 336 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,880 Speaker 1: to be honest with you, and that that was what 337 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:35,120 Speaker 1: I was fighting. Yeah, I mean, because if it was 338 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,080 Speaker 1: gonna affect me this bad, even though I can still 339 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,000 Speaker 1: make money and still be good at what I do, 340 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 1: not knowing that I can, you know, drove me nuts, 341 00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 1: you know, when I can't push off my left foot 342 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 1: the way I am my right foot. Yeah, so its 343 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: just something I had to adapt to. But now it's 344 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,760 Speaker 1: I mean, I thought whenever, uh, you know, I left 345 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 1: and whenever, whenever we did that interview, you know, I 346 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 1: was talking to Dom, I was like, hey, I don't 347 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,360 Speaker 1: really know how much longer I can go with this, 348 00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:05,439 Speaker 1: just because my moody was hurting so bad. You can 349 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,159 Speaker 1: see even last year on my film like run Blocked 350 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,160 Speaker 1: and like coming Out, I was I was very high. 351 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,200 Speaker 1: I was in pain. I was just a lot of pain. 352 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,159 Speaker 1: But you know, NFL people, it's it's the name of 353 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,359 Speaker 1: the game. You know, you gotta get healthy or somebody 354 00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:20,600 Speaker 1: else's coming in. So you know, a lot of it 355 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,639 Speaker 1: was was you know that, and then the internal pressure 356 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,840 Speaker 1: to play at a certain level despite whatever excuse she 357 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 1: may have. You know what I'd like you to do, 358 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,040 Speaker 1: and I meant to say this when I went around. 359 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 1: I'd love for you to be able to tell your 360 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,679 Speaker 1: trainer right when guys are hurt, to ask guys how 361 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: they're doing, not just physically, because like you said, when 362 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 1: you're hurt. It's a warrior being forced to put his 363 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:44,840 Speaker 1: shield down when he's not signed up to put his 364 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:47,920 Speaker 1: shield down. So talk to him, talk to him and 365 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 1: say hey, from now on, when you got a guy 366 00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:51,760 Speaker 1: in here, make sure just talk to him that they're okay. 367 00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:54,760 Speaker 1: Between the years, Yeah, and I think it the you know, 368 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:57,919 Speaker 1: the most vulnerable times is like whenever a coach or 369 00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,840 Speaker 1: at least like talks that you remember is like when 370 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:03,199 Speaker 1: the pulls you aside privately, you know, not among the 371 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,359 Speaker 1: guys and like tells you like, hey, how are you 372 00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:07,880 Speaker 1: doing that type of stuff, And that's like that that's 373 00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 1: that's where guys will open up more instead of being 374 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 1: you know, in the locker room among the guys, if 375 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: you do it in a more personal setting, guys will 376 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,520 Speaker 1: really tell you what's on their mind. But like like 377 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,520 Speaker 1: I said, you're going to the gym asking guys how 378 00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 1: they doing. They're always can say I'm good, you know, yeah, 379 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,560 Speaker 1: but really pulling You're saying, really pulling somebody aside, saying hey, 380 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:32,080 Speaker 1: really pulling somebody aside, exactly really pulling them. So when 381 00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: when this went down to last year, I did I 382 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 1: jumped your ship for not reaching out to your teammates, 383 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 1: me being one of them, tell us it got this bad? 384 00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:46,000 Speaker 1: Do you aid, do you now realize that, Okay, I 385 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,480 Speaker 1: can never get into place where I don't reach out 386 00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,959 Speaker 1: to anybody. Do you get that? Yeah? Yeah, I mean 387 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,960 Speaker 1: the self isolation. I feel like it's not it's like 388 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,800 Speaker 1: a natural like side effect of it. I feel like 389 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,160 Speaker 1: when you first get these you know, a philiates stuffies, 390 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,879 Speaker 1: when there isolated, not you know, I guess spread it 391 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,960 Speaker 1: anymore for people to find out. You want this to 392 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 1: be just your problem that you can hopefully overcome. But yeah, 393 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,560 Speaker 1: I mean I only knew that it was just gonna 394 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,400 Speaker 1: kept building the monster. And I knew that even though 395 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 1: it was making things worse, as like, I wasn't going 396 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,199 Speaker 1: to turn back, you know. And I feel like a 397 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,760 Speaker 1: lot of people do this. I don't. I don't know why, 398 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:24,320 Speaker 1: because I guess they're scared to confront them, to confront it. Well, 399 00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:28,479 Speaker 1: there's a certain amount of shame we feel. Yeah, you're like, well, 400 00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,399 Speaker 1: we used to it like it's weakness. Now I don't. Yeah, Well, 401 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:35,440 Speaker 1: these conversations didn't exist back in you know, in different times. 402 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,879 Speaker 1: It wasn't sucking up mentality. Hey, that's why do you 403 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,439 Speaker 1: have a lot of trauma filled people as growing up. 404 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,120 Speaker 1: Since somef doesn't go away, you know what I'm saying, 405 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,960 Speaker 1: It just it goes with you. I was especially proud 406 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 1: when I saw you not too long ago doing a 407 00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:52,879 Speaker 1: mental health speech at a synagogue. I mean, what may 408 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,960 Speaker 1: we'll talk about coming such full circle for you, Lane 409 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,239 Speaker 1: and just making a one eight are you? Were you 410 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,439 Speaker 1: proud of yourself? You are gonna be proud of yourself 411 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,520 Speaker 1: now for being able to lead some many of us 412 00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,080 Speaker 1: out of this. Yeah, well that was really you know, 413 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:08,040 Speaker 1: another time that really hit home on me because you know, 414 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,280 Speaker 1: that's the first time I've ever besides you know, going 415 00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:12,320 Speaker 1: one on one with you, you know, speaking to a 416 00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:17,160 Speaker 1: group about this. And yeah, just the amount of people 417 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:19,920 Speaker 1: I saw that we're in the audience, we're there because 418 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,760 Speaker 1: in fact, they were filming some type of a degree 419 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,920 Speaker 1: of pain or they have a love on that's going 420 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,720 Speaker 1: through a certain situation. Man, it's a quiet killer. You 421 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,880 Speaker 1: don't realize how many people have lost lives, they've lost 422 00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:34,160 Speaker 1: loved ones to suicide or just uh, you know, stuff 423 00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 1: that's you know that can be at least started with 424 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: a conversation. And like I'm saying, Yeah, seeing those parents 425 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:42,960 Speaker 1: and some of the kids there, that was special. Yeah, 426 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,720 Speaker 1: that was a that was a good moment in my life. 427 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,879 Speaker 1: Before I let you go, our last question, I always 428 00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,440 Speaker 1: ask somebody, give me a moment in your life, your 429 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 1: unbreakable moment, something that could have broken. This doesn't have 430 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,439 Speaker 1: to be mental health wise, just anything, something you're like, 431 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:57,159 Speaker 1: your career, whatever. It is. Something that like for me 432 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:58,760 Speaker 1: is when I almost died with my lungs and then 433 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 1: freaking came a way back and open unbreakable with an 434 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,800 Speaker 1: oxygen attack. My learn breakable moment was, you know, eleven 435 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,200 Speaker 1: years after starting my career, get my first full time 436 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:10,920 Speaker 1: job and not not Quinn, after eleven years of rejection, 437 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,000 Speaker 1: making nine thousand step four in fifty bucks a year 438 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 1: living in New York City. What is your unbreakable moment? 439 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 1: Give me that moment for you that something should have 440 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,040 Speaker 1: broken you didn't. You came through the other side of 441 00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,080 Speaker 1: that time a little stronger because of it, I mean, 442 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 1: overcoming just uh really this past year with the injuries, 443 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:30,480 Speaker 1: the anxiety, you know, even the coming forth and and 444 00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:32,960 Speaker 1: now you know telling people, you know, kind of my 445 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 1: journey and then uh really it's just uh be wary 446 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,480 Speaker 1: of the people you're around every day at work. Try 447 00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,240 Speaker 1: to lighten people up and uh, like I said, a 448 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,080 Speaker 1: compliment I can go a long way for people. A 449 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:49,119 Speaker 1: good conversation can go a long way for people. And 450 00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:51,320 Speaker 1: I feel like the initiation of that might be the 451 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: hardest part, but once you break that door down and 452 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:56,920 Speaker 1: it opens it up for a much better life. Man, 453 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,440 Speaker 1: I appreciate you so much to it and I'm proud 454 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:04,600 Speaker 1: of you again. Off La Johnson, thank you brother. Always 455 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,600 Speaker 1: proud of you. Proud to walk this walk together. Man. 456 00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: Thanks Phil both love you, Love you.