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Speaker 1: Who baby, my baby, I need you, Oh hell, I

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Speaker 1: need you. What to Expect is a production of I

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Speaker 1: Heart Radio. I'm your host Heidi Murkop and I'm a

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Speaker 1: mom on a mission, a mission to help you know

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Speaker 1: what to expect every step of the way. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: raise your hand if you're starting to feel like you're

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Speaker 1: co parenting with a cast of cartoon characters, like your

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Speaker 1: little one is being raised by a tag team of

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Speaker 1: Anna Elsa, Woody, Nicky and Pepper Pig and turning into

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Speaker 1: a couch potato todd right before your eyes. That is,

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Speaker 1: when your eyes and attention aren't focused on your own

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Speaker 1: electronic devices. Not to worry, you're not alone for most parents,

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Speaker 1: especially during the time of COVID, when home isn't only

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Speaker 1: where the heart is, but the off us, the daycare,

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Speaker 1: the school, the store, and much more, not to mention

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Speaker 1: the three ring circus. You probably currently live in desperate

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Speaker 1: times and desperate parents call for desperate measures, And if

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Speaker 1: you're like most desperate parents, the line between screen time

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Speaker 1: and the rest of the time has blurred. An hour

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Speaker 1: per day has turned into two, maybe three, maybe more,

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Speaker 1: leaving you stuck with the theme song to Moanna playing

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Speaker 1: on a loop in your head and dealing with more

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Speaker 1: than a little mom guilt and wondering what's the truth

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Speaker 1: about screen time and your little ones development? How much

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Speaker 1: screen time is too much? And how long can you

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Speaker 1: continue giving yourself a pass on your child's all access

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Speaker 1: passed to the tablet and TV during these challenging times,

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Speaker 1: or on your own pass to the phone you're never without. First,

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Speaker 1: let's lose any gilt you have, because, as you know

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Speaker 1: by now, what to expect is a no guilt zone.

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Speaker 1: Then let's talk the realities of TV tablets and you're

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Speaker 1: taught speaking of moms in screen time. I'm here with Emma, Hey,

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Speaker 1: Emma guiltiest charge. Yeah, let's just say she's walking the

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Speaker 1: walk to the couch with those couch potato tots as

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Speaker 1: we speak. And if we're being real, which we always

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Speaker 1: are here on what to expect, I'm pretty sure I

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Speaker 1: know your philosophy about screen time and kids because I've

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Speaker 1: seen it in action, but maybe not everybody listening does,

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Speaker 1: So why don't you share. I'm definitely a little or

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Speaker 1: a little guilty of excess screen time situation currently, I

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Speaker 1: don't think I was as bad. And then COVID happened,

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Speaker 1: and I kind of threw all the push into the

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Speaker 1: wind and lead with the tablet. But I also have

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Speaker 1: to cook dinner, right, I have to pay it. And

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Speaker 1: I have a toddler that is so far up my

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Speaker 1: you know what, that he's going to sit on my

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Speaker 1: lap when I'm peeing if I don't give him a

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Speaker 1: screen So they love it. They love a good screen time,

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Speaker 1: and I love the few minutes it gives me. But

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Speaker 1: I do try to engage sometimes with them about what

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Speaker 1: they're watching that's really important. So Sebby is more into

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Speaker 1: TV and and Lennox is more into video. Sebby is

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Speaker 1: all into YouTube. He loves Baby Jake. He wishes Baby

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Speaker 1: Jake was his biffle best friend for life. Sometimes he'll

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Speaker 1: like copies everything they're saying. So I feel like it's

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Speaker 1: somewhat educational because he he's learning, and I do try

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Speaker 1: to have him watch things that have some sort of

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Speaker 1: educational value. But I mean he does like watching Peppa Pig. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so with Pepper Pig at least he learns a British accent.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's the only reason I let him watch

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Speaker 1: Peppa because my goal is for him to end up

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Speaker 1: with a British accent. Okay, you're on your wing. I'm

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Speaker 1: love with I know you sometimes do, but I don't

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Speaker 1: know if you fall through much. Do you use it

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Speaker 1: as a reward or take it away as a consequence

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Speaker 1: of behavior. Look, the consequence consequences me, not them. That's true.

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Speaker 1: I try with Lennox more, especially because Sebby's just turned two.

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Speaker 1: He barely understands what I'm saying to him normally, So

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Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm taking the TV away from you. He'd

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Speaker 1: be like, car, you know what I mean. It's not

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Speaker 1: like a thing. But Lennox, I use it more of

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Speaker 1: a consequence. But then sometimes I give in because I'm

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Speaker 1: a pushover. Okay, more about that later. So I would say,

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Speaker 1: you use it mainly as a babysitter. Look, that is

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Speaker 1: my free babysitter. I'm gonna own it because honestly, I

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Speaker 1: feel less inclined not to lie to you guys because

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Speaker 1: of COVID and be like, look, we're all in this

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Speaker 1: right now, and this is a whole thing. This is

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Speaker 1: literally like their lifeline to the outside world. YouTube videos

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Speaker 1: with other kids. It's the only time they're getting to,

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Speaker 1: you know, see other or pigs or pigs or pigs?

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Speaker 1: Do you tend to use it as background noise also

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Speaker 1: sometimes So you know that my childhood was a tad

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Speaker 1: different and even yours was because when I was little,

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Speaker 1: I was allowed literally one hour of TV per week.

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Speaker 1: You're talking about my childhood. No, no, no, you had

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Speaker 1: Sesame Street every day plus one hour. No. But when

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Speaker 1: I was older, I only had one hour. I remember

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Speaker 1: this because I watched Full House. Okay, so my mom

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Speaker 1: was super strict about it, and I think I relaxed

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Speaker 1: a little. I wasn't even allowed to watch TV when

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Speaker 1: I was home sick. I had to read. I mean

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Speaker 1: not that that's a bad thing. It was a good

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Speaker 1: thing in retrospect, but at the time everybody else was

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Speaker 1: watching TV constantly. I felt a little cheated. But I was,

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Speaker 1: you know, on the strict side with TV when you

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Speaker 1: guys were little. And I'm happy about that because you

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Speaker 1: spent a lot more time reading and a lot more

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Speaker 1: time playing, and you know, yeah, but I feel like

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Speaker 1: you did disservice to me because now I feel guilty

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Speaker 1: because I'm like, wait, I was outside do them all

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Speaker 1: the stuff, and now my kids are in from those

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Speaker 1: tablets and damn it, Mom, Now I feel bad. I

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Speaker 1: had such a great imagination. No guilt, no guilt. We're

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Speaker 1: in a no guilt zone. Remember, no no guilt. I

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Speaker 1: do it to myself. We do it to ourselves. But

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Speaker 1: it's funny because Lennox knows he can't turn on the

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Speaker 1: TV when he gets to our house and Sabby's at

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Speaker 1: our house, the TV is never on. I mean they

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Speaker 1: watch it on special occasions or they have their special

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Speaker 1: TV time, but they managed to get along without it,

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Speaker 1: so I guess, you know, they kind of accept whatever

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Speaker 1: the house rules are, which is which is super common.

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Speaker 1: But it's usually the other way around. I hear from

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Speaker 1: parents all the time. My parents, you know, the grandparents

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Speaker 1: are always spoiling the kids by giving them so much

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Speaker 1: TV time or so much iPhone time. Yeah, but you

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Speaker 1: can't wait, how are you going to spoil them? Already?

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Speaker 1: Give them enough. It's true. It's impossible to spoil your kids.

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Speaker 1: You've already done it. I know. So let's take a

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Speaker 1: quick break, and when we come back, I'm answering the

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Speaker 1: biggest questions you have about screen time and your kids.

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Speaker 1: No guilt allowed. Okay, mom, So let's talk screen time.

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Speaker 1: What are the biggest concerns about screen times in our

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Speaker 1: little ones, not that I really want to know, but

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Speaker 1: I figured I should ask this. Oh look, I mean,

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Speaker 1: nobody really wants to know, but it's good information to have. Really,

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Speaker 1: the biggest concern about screen time is what kids are

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Speaker 1: missing out when they're doing screen time, and that's a

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Speaker 1: lot of actually really important stuff. It's time they would

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Speaker 1: spend learning by doing and exploring and interacting and socializing,

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Speaker 1: problem solving, creating, using their imaginations, you know, fine tuning

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Speaker 1: fine motor skills, flexing their brain power, and flexing their

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Speaker 1: actual other muscles. And that's true at any age. For babies,

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Speaker 1: there's a lot more downside to screen time. First of all,

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Speaker 1: babies don't get TV. They're absolutely mesmerized by it. The

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Speaker 1: lights and the sounds suck them in. But studies show

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Speaker 1: that infants can't learn from TV. So even when they're

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Speaker 1: watching you know, so called educational programming that's supposed to

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Speaker 1: speed up language development, the research shows the opposite that

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Speaker 1: it actually slows down that development. And that's because babies

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Speaker 1: and toddlers learn best from people. That's where they learn

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Speaker 1: their language, their social skills, emotions, empathy, Like I always

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Speaker 1: say human interface. There is no app for that. And

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Speaker 1: for older kids, Lennox this age, too much screen time

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Speaker 1: has been linked to reduced attention span and that's not

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Speaker 1: a surprise because everything's bright and shiny and flashing all

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Speaker 1: the time, and so when they go to something like

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Speaker 1: a book, it's just by nature less exciting. And listen.

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Speaker 1: I know TV is easy, I know it's fun. I

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Speaker 1: know kids love it. I know it gives parents a

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Speaker 1: chance to get things done. But that's what the researchers, doctors,

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Speaker 1: experts worry about when when it comes to screen time

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Speaker 1: becoming all the time or even a lot of the time.

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Speaker 1: And that's actually what worries me too, and sometimes why

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Speaker 1: I gently nag. You love nagging ever so gently. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so what are the rackammended guidelines? I know you always

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Speaker 1: tell me about the peak guidelines. And then when I

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Speaker 1: asked the pediatrician, she's like, it's okay, don't feel too guilty.

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Speaker 1: So your pediatrician is Dr and Cross me, and she

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Speaker 1: happens to be on the communications team for the a

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Speaker 1: P and so she's always my go to for guidelines.

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Speaker 1: So it's funny she says that to you, but she

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Speaker 1: knows you, and she knows me, and she knows you're

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Speaker 1: already hearing it from me, so she does tread gently.

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Speaker 1: So that said, here's what she would tell anyone else,

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Speaker 1: because these are the guidelines. AP recommends little to no

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Speaker 1: screen time for babies and toddlers under the age of

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Speaker 1: eighteen months, except for video chatting, and video chatting is

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Speaker 1: especially important these days, you know, family being far away

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Speaker 1: and can't visit or fair or not currently in your pod.

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Speaker 1: And no more than one hour per day of high

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Speaker 1: quality programming for older toddlers and preschoolers, and no more

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Speaker 1: than two hours per day for school aged kids. And

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Speaker 1: is that realistic? Maybe maybe not? Maybe probably not right

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Speaker 1: now when everyone's stuck at home and there's no easy

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Speaker 1: escape to the children's museum or the play boundary even

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Speaker 1: for walk around them all or a visit to a

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Speaker 1: friend's house, and your reality is trying to keep your

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Speaker 1: little one busy and happy all day, every day, and

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Speaker 1: your entertainment options are strained, and so is maybe your

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Speaker 1: patients and ps. When you're only one person and you

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Speaker 1: happen to be a human person. Okay, so it might

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Speaker 1: not be that realistic, but clearly there will be days

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Speaker 1: when limits are exceeded or ignored all together, like when

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Speaker 1: you have to zoom meetings in a row and they're

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Speaker 1: running over an hour each and having a whiny toddler

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Speaker 1: on your lap, tugging on your hair and smearing banana

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Speaker 1: on your keyboard. I must sound familiar. I feel that

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Speaker 1: so deeply. It's not gonna cut it. The main thing

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Speaker 1: is you try to set somewhat realistic limits, and then

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Speaker 1: you try your realistic best to follow them under these circumstances.

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Speaker 1: Keyword try, try, try exactly. And the truth said, I

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Speaker 1: mean you've noticed this. Kids who are used to limits,

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Speaker 1: they might not embrace them, and they'll definitely challenge them,

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Speaker 1: but they're also more likely to look at them if

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Speaker 1: super grudgingly, Like Lennox always says, you're so mean or

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Speaker 1: you're so rude. Oh my gosh, I like hear that

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Speaker 1: in my sleep. I know me too. But it is

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Speaker 1: important to remember and to remind yourself and sort of

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Speaker 1: make it your mantra that you're the parent. You run

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Speaker 1: the show, and that includes deciding how many shows are

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Speaker 1: gonna be watched and which ones, and if you don't

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Speaker 1: quite buy it yourself, you just have to practice it

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Speaker 1: in the mirror until you do, like an affirmation every

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Speaker 1: day me, parents, you kid. Maybe I should write that

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Speaker 1: on my mirror and lipstick or crayon or something, or

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Speaker 1: smeared banana. Yea smeared banana. Sometimes I'm scared of my kids.

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Speaker 1: I feel like they're the parent and I'm the kid.

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Speaker 1: They're scary, I know, but you have to face your fears.

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Speaker 1: How do you set limits when toddlers don't have concept

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Speaker 1: of time? How? Yeah? So timers are actually helpful because

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Speaker 1: time is, you know, a very abstract concept for toddlers,

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Speaker 1: even for preschoolers, and a timer can make it more concrete.

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Speaker 1: But the important part, of course is the follow through.

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Speaker 1: And that's true of absolutely everything in parenting, because if

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Speaker 1: you don't follow through, you're just completely screwed. Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: not my strong suit. So when the episode is over

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Speaker 1: or the timer rings, that is not the time to negotiate. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So if you're going to allow three episodes, allow three upfront,

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Speaker 1: you know, instead of negotiating one by one, because nobody

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Speaker 1: out negotiates a toddler or preschool ramma. Right, Yes, So

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Speaker 1: you've gotta stand firm, You've gotta stand united, if both

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Speaker 1: parents are around. But once you're one more or no

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Speaker 1: more turns into dad's okay, one more, two more, it's

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Speaker 1: open season. This is makes me mad though, because like

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Speaker 1: when we're getting ready for bad, I say, one more episode, okay, Simon.

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Speaker 1: They so the episodes O where they're like one more

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Speaker 1: episode and I'm like, no more episodes and Simon's like

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Speaker 1: one more episode. I'm like, are you kidding me? That's

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Speaker 1: where I really get piste off at him. Right, It's

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Speaker 1: super important for everybody to be on the same page

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Speaker 1: with this. Okay. I know you're not supposed to use

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Speaker 1: screen time as a babysitter, but of course I do.

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Speaker 1: So what's the point otherwise, if I'm gonna sit down

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Speaker 1: and play with the boys, I'll sit down and play

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Speaker 1: with them. If I have to get other stuff done,

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Speaker 1: I'll put them in front of the TV or you know,

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Speaker 1: let them have iPad time. So about that. The a

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Speaker 1: P does recommend that screen time for little ones is

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Speaker 1: interactive time. You know when you can and you do

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Speaker 1: this when you can. Also parents watch alongside their kids

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Speaker 1: and they can chime in, and they can ask questions,

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Speaker 1: they can point out characters, they can add context comment

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Speaker 1: on stories. You talked about morals of stories, and most

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Speaker 1: good shows have more all any kind of life, lesson sharing,

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Speaker 1: being kind, listening to teachers or parents, stuff like that,

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Speaker 1: taking turns and all of that sounds great at first

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Speaker 1: until you realize that the reason you turned on the

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Speaker 1: TV or the iPad or the iPhone in the first

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Speaker 1: place was to free yourself up to do other things.

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Speaker 1: And once you make like you said, TV time together time,

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Speaker 1: there goes the time you were planning to spend on

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Speaker 1: getting stuff drawne So, whether it's work, and especially if

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Speaker 1: you're working at home, laundry, social media, ordering groceries, or

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Speaker 1: the other thousand fill in the blank things that you

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Speaker 1: have to get done, which means realistically you will use

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Speaker 1: screen time as a babysitter at least some of the time.

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Speaker 1: And even when you do, you can still swoop in

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Speaker 1: every few minutes and engage and interact before your toddler

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Speaker 1: slips into that screen time trance that's really hard to break,

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Speaker 1: and that's value added to whatever he's hearing or seeing

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Speaker 1: and actually puts the educational into educational programming. But what

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Speaker 1: if it's too late and your toddler is already a

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Speaker 1: screen addict okay, and it's like so stubborn about it

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Speaker 1: like Sebby, and hasn't melt on every time we even

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Speaker 1: if we grab the remote to turn off the TV.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't sound like Sebby at all. I'm so confirmed here.

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Speaker 1: It's never too late. It's never too late. Listen. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot for talks to love about TV and videos.

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Speaker 1: They're big fans of anything bright and shiny, especially bright

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Speaker 1: and shiny things that move and make noise, and it's

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Speaker 1: super easy for them to get sucked into that video

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Speaker 1: vortex and go all you know, zoned out zombie in

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Speaker 1: front of the screen, and it's hard going right back

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Speaker 1: to that dark screen and the dark reality that TV

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Speaker 1: time is over and it's all of a sudden, really

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Speaker 1: rude awakening, and that's what he's experiencing. And also watching

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Speaker 1: TV and playing games on the iPad. It's so much

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Speaker 1: easier for um then, you know, playing from scratch, having

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Speaker 1: to use their imaginations, and especially for someone Seppi's age,

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Speaker 1: his attention span is so fleeting and playing by himself

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Speaker 1: is not as much fun, and plus he has a

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Speaker 1: serious jones for attention, so it's definitely easy to grow

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Speaker 1: a couch potato or two couch potatoes. But even Sepi,

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Speaker 1: even sepy tantrum throwing two year old Seby, he is

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Speaker 1: still relatively mashed potatoes in your hands. He really is.

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Speaker 1: So you can reshape mold his TV watching habits more

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Speaker 1: easily now than you're ever going to be able to

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Speaker 1: in the future once he starts growing some of those

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Speaker 1: couch potato roots on the sofa. And even Lennox, you know, Lennox,

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Speaker 1: you can you can reshape his Also, he's not that bad.

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Speaker 1: Lennox isn't that bad, Like Lennox, Like this morning, was

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Speaker 1: dressed up as a knight in shining armor, and he

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Speaker 1: put a basket on my head and told me I

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Speaker 1: was a princess or the queen, So like I gotta cut.

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Speaker 1: I saw some slap. They're not that bad. I think

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Speaker 1: it could be worse. Yeah, but that's the thing when

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Speaker 1: you when you turn on the TV, there goes the imagination.

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Speaker 1: So if it's off, he has a chance to actually

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Speaker 1: tap into it. And with SEV two, I mean he's

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Speaker 1: always playing imaginary games with Sevy as well. So the

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Speaker 1: TV doesn't inspire Lennox though, He'll be like watching something

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Speaker 1: he'll stop watching, he'll turn it off and just like

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Speaker 1: copy that. So he does use his imagination during screen

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Speaker 1: time sometimes that that's probably just my child. He's just

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Speaker 1: very imaginative. No, I mean, it's all about limits, and

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Speaker 1: if you set the limits, then they'll find something else

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Speaker 1: to do. And I know it's hard, but I promise

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Speaker 1: it'll work. Okay. Transition is always so hard when we

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Speaker 1: say no more, and there's always an argument, so what

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Speaker 1: do we do with this? All toddlers, to a certain extent,

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Speaker 1: are bad at transition. They have trouble going from A

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Speaker 1: to B. So if A is well when it used

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Speaker 1: to be the playground and then be his home, they

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Speaker 1: have trouble making that transition. That's or transitional objects come from.

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Speaker 1: But there's always going to be an argument. I don't

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Speaker 1: know many kids who wouldn't lobby for more TV if

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Speaker 1: they if they had a choice of extra screen time,

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Speaker 1: they're going to choose it because it's fine, it's relaxing,

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Speaker 1: it's easy for everyone involved. It takes no effort on

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Speaker 1: either side, and the screen does all the work. And

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Speaker 1: so you plant those little butts and you buy yourself

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Speaker 1: some peace and quiet. It helps to have a distraction

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Speaker 1: so I talked about transitional objects or when I used

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Speaker 1: to have to pry you away from the playground to

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Speaker 1: go to the house, or from the house to go

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Speaker 1: to the playground, it helped to distract you, to create

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Speaker 1: a diversion. And the same thing when you're turning off

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Speaker 1: the TV. If you have an activity set up so

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Speaker 1: that they don't have to be left to their own

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Speaker 1: devices completely after they come down from those electronic devices,

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Speaker 1: and of course that means you have to turn on

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Speaker 1: the attention. You have to hopefully at least engage periodically

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Speaker 1: in whatever activity they've been set up was so that

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Speaker 1: you have a chance of them keeping going on it.

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Speaker 1: But there's also you can involve them in whatever you

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Speaker 1: have to do. So if you have to clean, I

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Speaker 1: know Sebby likes to clean at least a little bit,

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Speaker 1: you can give them each a bottle as you know,

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Speaker 1: spray bottle of water and some rags and and challenge

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Speaker 1: them to a team clean competition. Right, have you done that? No?

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Speaker 1: But Sebby will do anything Lennox is doing. And also Sebby.

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Speaker 1: When Sebby cleans, he makes a mess. You're just making

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Speaker 1: this harder for me. Okay, scratch that, but you don't

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Speaker 1: want to be a cave mom. If you give into

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Speaker 1: the argument, you've already said no more TV, you're gonna

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Speaker 1: get a meltdown every time, right with a lot of toddlers.

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Speaker 1: If you just you know, you turn off the TV,

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Speaker 1: you suggest a different activity. But if that doesn't work

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Speaker 1: and he's having a full on tantrum, you can just

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Speaker 1: ignore it and calmly go about your business, because that's

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Speaker 1: one of the best ways to deal with tantrums anyway.

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Speaker 1: Or you can try a hug and a little chat

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Speaker 1: about limits. Maybe not with Sebby, but Lennox. That works

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Speaker 1: well Seby. When Sebby sometimes has a meltdown though, like

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Speaker 1: he crows on my leg, it's a lot. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: but that's when you know, sometimes a big hug will

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Speaker 1: calm them down and then you move sometimes and then

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Speaker 1: you move on. Okay, So you always tell me not

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Speaker 1: to keep the TV on in the background even if

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Speaker 1: the kids aren't listening, And I know that you do

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Speaker 1: that at your house when we come over, but what

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Speaker 1: about when their babies, Like can you have the TV

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Speaker 1: on in the background. You have heard this from maybe

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Speaker 1: Pore maybe a few times. I would point out that

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Speaker 1: it's better when possible to keep the TV off when

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Speaker 1: the kids aren't actively watching, because even a baby, they

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Speaker 1: might seem to care less about the TV when it's on,

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Speaker 1: and I think they're not paying attention, but the research

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Speaker 1: shows they actually will shift their gaze to a screen

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Speaker 1: in the room three times per minute, and that's a

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Speaker 1: lot that's going to distract a baby from doing things

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Speaker 1: that she needs to be here and seeing. And also

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Speaker 1: the background visual and the background noise from a TV

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Speaker 1: that's always on, it kind of becomes something that kids

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Speaker 1: and an adult become used to. They even need it

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Speaker 1: as kind of the background to their lives, and that's

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Speaker 1: why it's probably a better idea to keep it off.

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Speaker 1: And also, let's face this too. Adult programming is for adults,

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Speaker 1: and if you're watching something adult, it's not for kids.

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Speaker 1: And Emma, you've also learned this the hard way that

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Speaker 1: kids here and understand way more than we usually give

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Speaker 1: them credit for, and that includes things and words that

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Speaker 1: they're better off not knowing at a tender age. And

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Speaker 1: you always say they're not they're not paying attention, but

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Speaker 1: they are. Oh yes they are, Oh yes they are.

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Speaker 1: They So get all up, So do screen time and

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Speaker 1: meal time mix. Okay, so I know the concept has

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Speaker 1: been around for a long time, actually going way way back.

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Speaker 1: That's why TV dinners were invented to eat in front

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Speaker 1: of the TV. They had little tables that you in

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Speaker 1: front of the TV, and it was exactly it was.

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Speaker 1: It was a big thing at the time. Of course,

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Speaker 1: my mother didn't let me watch TV, never mind eat

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Speaker 1: in front of TV. And let's not even get started

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Speaker 1: on her thoughts about processed food. So I grew up

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Speaker 1: without ever eating a single meal in front of a TV.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, at the time, I felt like I was

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Speaker 1: left out because all my friends had TV dinners and

401
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,399
Speaker 1: in front of the TV. But in retrospect, if you

402
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Speaker 1: think about it, she had a really good point. She did.

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Speaker 1: Eating is supposed to be about getting nourishment, and let's

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Speaker 1: face it, it's not exactly something that frozen dinners are

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Speaker 1: known for. But it's also supposed to be a social activity.

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Speaker 1: It's supposed to be family time. It's time to talk

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Speaker 1: and share about your day, and that's not easy with

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Speaker 1: the toddler who's not yet fully talking or understanding everything

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Speaker 1: that's being talked about. But it's worth it because family

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00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:54,040
Speaker 1: styled dinners feed the body and the soul. Once you

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Speaker 1: turn on the TV, you turn off that social engagement

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Speaker 1: that was supposed to be built into meal times. And

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Speaker 1: when you're eating in front of the TV, it's really

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Speaker 1: easy for eating to become mindless. And even for little ones,

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Speaker 1: mindless eating can lead to over eating and eventually to overweight.

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Speaker 1: And the other thing about family dinners for a busy family,

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Speaker 1: and every family is busy, that might be the only

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Speaker 1: time during the day when everyone's together and attention is undivided.

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Speaker 1: And even when you go to a restaurant, there's always

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Speaker 1: the temptation to pull out the iPad for the kids

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Speaker 1: instead of engaging them in conversation. But I'd rather see

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Speaker 1: them bring books and toys or crayons. But here's the thing,

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Speaker 1: no devices at dinner means no devices at dinner, and

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Speaker 1: it's got to be across the table, right, It's gonna

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00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 1: be for everyone involved. So you can't have a double

426
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 1: standard where you know you or Simon pull out your

427
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 1: iPhone you know it's work or I just gotta check

428
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 1: something really fast, or I gotta post something or whatever,

429
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,600
Speaker 1: I gotta respond to someone, Because that's fair. It's got

430
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 1: to be no exceptions for that. Now, in the car,

431
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 1: a lot of parents use the iPad in the car

432
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:09,000
Speaker 1: to keep kids distracted, keep them from crying, keep them

433
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 1: from asking when are we going to be there? But

434
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: we just came home. We went to all as a

435
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,920
Speaker 1: family to the lake and we were driving back and

436
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:21,000
Speaker 1: I was amazed because Lennox talked the entire time and

437
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,400
Speaker 1: you had a great conversation. Yes it was about video

438
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:26,680
Speaker 1: and games, but it was a conversation for almost two hours,

439
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,560
Speaker 1: and I thought that was amazing. But you can play

440
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 1: games like I spy, listen to music, have a sing along,

441
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,479
Speaker 1: so your kids won't let you sing. So that's another story.

442
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 1: Semi started yelling at me when I sing. I know.

443
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 1: He said, no, Mommy, no, people are just me. Kids

444
00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,679
Speaker 1: are just honest. We listened to our YouTube songs in

445
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:49,160
Speaker 1: the car instead of watching them, and you play name

446
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,040
Speaker 1: that tune, right, little Lennox. But he does it about

447
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 1: Mario games, which I have no idea what he's talking about,

448
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 1: but I just humor him. What should toddlers be watching?

449
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,840
Speaker 1: I mean, doesn't matter if it's TV or an I pad. Yeah,

450
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:04,520
Speaker 1: I mean they're all considered screen time. So technically, if

451
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 1: there are allotted one hour, that doesn't mean an hour

452
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 1: of each Oh it doesn't. So the obvious advantage of

453
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 1: the TV is that you can't bring it everywhere you go,

454
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 1: like you can't bring it into the bathtub with you,

455
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 1: or the market or the restaurant whatever, or to bed

456
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,080
Speaker 1: unless there's a TV in the kid's room, and I

457
00:26:24,119 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: hope there isn't. So it's it is easier to limit

458
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 1: a TV compared to the phone that's always within your

459
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 1: reach or your pocket, your hand. That said, it's really

460
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 1: more about the content than the device. So for little ones,

461
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 1: the more interactive the programming the better. So it should

462
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 1: invite participation and not just random swiping, open ended play, exploration, creativity,

463
00:26:50,640 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 1: learning about shapes and concepts and words and then using

464
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: words and later on spelling words. And of course no

465
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,600
Speaker 1: commercials as a plus, because Lennox always asked for everything

466
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:03,639
Speaker 1: he sees in a commercial. So if you watch age

467
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:07,120
Speaker 1: appropriate movies or shows that have positive messaging and modeling

468
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,280
Speaker 1: that aren't scary or violent, that's fine too, especially when

469
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 1: you do it together. And Emma, it's easier for you

470
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,199
Speaker 1: because you like cartoons and Simon likes cartoons. But it

471
00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,960
Speaker 1: was always hard for me because I never like cartoons,

472
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,199
Speaker 1: so that was dad territory. You know, we all have

473
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 1: our limits, right, I like Papa Pig. I can't. I'm

474
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:28,640
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. I like okay. So can TV ever

475
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 1: be a good thing for kids? Can they ever learn something?

476
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 1: I feel like some things are pretty educational more they're

477
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:38,760
Speaker 1: they're more educational than me. So no, no, that's not

478
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,119
Speaker 1: true at all. That's not true at all. Of course

479
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 1: they are. They're gonna learn things because they're a little

480
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 1: sponges and they can soak up pretty much anything they're

481
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,399
Speaker 1: exposed to, and that goes for the good and the bad,

482
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 1: depending on what they're watching and how often they're watching.

483
00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 1: But I'd compare to fruit snacks, right, if you think

484
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 1: about it, Even if fruit snacks have vitam and see added,

485
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,879
Speaker 1: they're not supposed to stand in for meal because I treat,

486
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:02,880
Speaker 1: And the same thing for screen time. So a toddler

487
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 1: can learn lots from a TV program or from a video.

488
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,360
Speaker 1: You know, animals will never see in their lifetime, probably

489
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 1: in person. They're not going to see it in their backyards.

490
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,720
Speaker 1: They can go to space, you know, and see the

491
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 1: stars and the planets. But they can also learn those

492
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 1: things through books, and books are better brain boosters because

493
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,679
Speaker 1: they require more focus and a kid as to use

494
00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,679
Speaker 1: more of his imagination to visualize things, especially if there

495
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 1: aren't as many pictures. And they're especially educational if they're

496
00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 1: read in the mother tongue by their mother or by

497
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 1: their fathers. So try to think of screen time, you know,

498
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: as a fun educational supplement, not as a mainstay of

499
00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,800
Speaker 1: your little ones learning life. So it's like a treat

500
00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 1: with a little value added, like a fruit snack that

501
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 1: gives your kid vitamin C, but it's just something that's

502
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 1: super yummy, and you choose the best that you can.

503
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,479
Speaker 1: So with a fruit snack, you'd go for one that

504
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 1: has lower sugar and no artificial colors or flavors. And

505
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: when it comes to programming, you choose something educational and interactive.

506
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 1: You can also boost learning by like what Lennox does,

507
00:29:11,200 --> 00:29:15,920
Speaker 1: by taking something from the episode that they've been watching

508
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,400
Speaker 1: and then applying it to play. So you can encourage

509
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 1: a toddler to, you know, to be a monkey just

510
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 1: like the one she saw on TV, or or go

511
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 1: to the doctor like the Big Red Dog did. Or

512
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,760
Speaker 1: you can make cookies together like the Pig family did.

513
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: I'm not stereotyping because their pigs. I was gonna say, yeah,

514
00:29:35,120 --> 00:29:37,880
Speaker 1: you know, or break out the real crowns after she's

515
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 1: all done with the virtual crans. But Emma, this is

516
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 1: what you have to remember. And all the moms and

517
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 1: dads out there, you are your little one's first and

518
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: most important and best teacher. So if you're looking to

519
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: help your little one learn, you don't have to look

520
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 1: to educational programs or flash cards or apps. You just

521
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 1: have to look to yourself. So you're not giving yourself

522
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:02,920
Speaker 1: enough credit. And that partment okay, and up next, it's

523
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:21,560
Speaker 1: helped me, Heidi, And now it's time for help me, Heidi.

524
00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 1: We're all answer you're pressing pregnancy and parenting questions, no

525
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 1: holds barred, no filter allowed, t m I, no such thing.

526
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: We're all moms here or dad's. Chances are if you

527
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 1: have this question, other parents have it too. You are

528
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:41,400
Speaker 1: not alone. Motherhood is the ultimate sisterhood, and we're here

529
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 1: to help the sister out. So, Emma, who needs help today?

530
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 1: This one hits a little close to home for me.

531
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 1: I feel this listener. I'm intrigued. This comes from a listener.

532
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 1: Who says I often feel guilty because I'm always on

533
00:30:57,240 --> 00:31:00,120
Speaker 1: my phone or iPad. Well, I try to limit how

534
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 1: much I am working well home with my son. I'm

535
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:07,959
Speaker 1: stressed that I'm teaching him my bad habits. Help. So

536
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: remember what I always say about you're not alone. You

537
00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 1: really really aren't alone. Most moms use their smartphones more

538
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 1: than they feel that they should, and actually, at what

539
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,760
Speaker 1: to Expect dot Com, we did a survey last year

540
00:31:20,840 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: of moms with kids under the age of five and

541
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 1: found that two thirds used a smartphone for two or

542
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 1: more hours a day, and over a third use it

543
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 1: three or more hours a day. And that's self reporting,

544
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,479
Speaker 1: so the numbers are probably a lot higher than that.

545
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 1: And you're also not alone with the guilt. A full

546
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 1: sixty eight percent of moms felt guilty about their use

547
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 1: of a smartphone and six wish that they used it less.

548
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 1: And the top reasons given for guilt no surprise, feeling

549
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: that they were neglecting their little ones or weren't fully

550
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 1: present for them when they were using the phone or

551
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 1: teaching bad habits. And it sounds like this mom, You're

552
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 1: solidly in that mom majority. But instead of loading up

553
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 1: on remorse and regret every time you pick up your phone,

554
00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:16,719
Speaker 1: or your tablet or your laptop. After all, we're in

555
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 1: a no guilt zone here. Let's figure out a way

556
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 1: to find balance between your electronic life and your real

557
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 1: life at home with your little one, and it can

558
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:30,000
Speaker 1: be done clearly. Electronic Life is here to say none

559
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 1: of us are going to move off the grid anytime soon.

560
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: In last week, it casts on a reality show on

561
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 1: a desert island, and for most of us, virtual life

562
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 1: will continue to be a reality when it comes to

563
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,040
Speaker 1: work and workouts in school, all on top of an

564
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:51,520
Speaker 1: already demanding social media life. Emma will tackle working at

565
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 1: home in another episode of What to Expect. I promise,

566
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 1: let's just say I've been working at home since the

567
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: day I started writing What to Expect When You're Expecting

568
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 1: With Emma, you at my breast, literally at my breast,

569
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 1: because that was the only way to keep you quiet

570
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 1: while I worked. I discovered then, as many parents are

571
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 1: discovering now, that working at home isn't exactly the dream

572
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,640
Speaker 1: job that you might have envisioned, except, of course, you

573
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 1: don't have to commute or change out of this what's

574
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:19,920
Speaker 1: that you wore last night, or even wash your hair

575
00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,000
Speaker 1: unless you have a zoom meeting, So that's a plus.

576
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 1: When my kids were little, avoiding a smartphone or a

577
00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 1: tablet was really easy because there weren't any There wasn't

578
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:33,120
Speaker 1: even much of an Internet back then, and socializing was

579
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,920
Speaker 1: still something that you did in person. So for me,

580
00:33:36,160 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 1: staying away from the phone and off social media while

581
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:43,320
Speaker 1: I play with Lennox and Sebastian it's no big deal. Now.

582
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,880
Speaker 1: For Emma and and you and pretty much every other

583
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 1: mom out there in the parenting trenches right now, it

584
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:53,959
Speaker 1: is a lot more challenging. Checking notifications and feeds, likes,

585
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 1: posting stories and photos. It's it's as reflective as breathing,

586
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 1: and it's nearly as hard to go without. So I

587
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,800
Speaker 1: get it. Your phone is addicting, it's rewarding. It gives

588
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 1: you a sense of community and connection with other moms

589
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,880
Speaker 1: you know, helps keep you saying, and of course it

590
00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 1: gives you advice when you need it the most. It

591
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 1: keeps you in the loop, in the know in the moment,

592
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:19,759
Speaker 1: and when you power off your phone you worry that

593
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,759
Speaker 1: you might be missing something, or think about it this way,

594
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,800
Speaker 1: you might actually notice something that you would have missed

595
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 1: if you'd been on the phone. And that's kind of

596
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:31,840
Speaker 1: my point here. Children can't be paused. They can't be paused,

597
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 1: and childhood can't be paused. And believe me, I've been

598
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 1: looking for that pause button for a long time, though

599
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 1: I think I was looking for the fast forward button

600
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,880
Speaker 1: when Emma was a teenager. Fair enough, But you know

601
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,600
Speaker 1: how I always say stop and smell the babies. That's

602
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:48,839
Speaker 1: for a reason. The fact is that children grow up

603
00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,440
Speaker 1: in a blink of an eye, and that's a compelling

604
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 1: case for keeping your eyes on your kids for as

605
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 1: many moments of the day as you possibly can. And

606
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 1: you can't always, of course you can't, and you shouldn't

607
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,839
Speaker 1: have to, and nobody's expecting you to. But just as

608
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 1: you think about screen time for your little one as

609
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: something you should limit, you can start trying to think

610
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:12,480
Speaker 1: the same way about your screen time for your sake

611
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 1: and for his sake, because, after all, little monkeys tend

612
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 1: to do what they see, and yours is going to

613
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:22,040
Speaker 1: model his habits after yours as he grows, including that

614
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:27,280
Speaker 1: screen habit. For me, compartmentalizing real life and electronic life

615
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,560
Speaker 1: just works better than trying to mix them together. And

616
00:35:30,600 --> 00:35:33,600
Speaker 1: of course that's easy for me to say because I'm

617
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 1: not with kids seven anymore. I just see them on

618
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:40,400
Speaker 1: weekends unfortunately. And for you, it might be easier to

619
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 1: put limits on your screen time. And maybe you'll choose

620
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,759
Speaker 1: to do your screen time while your little one is

621
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 1: doing his screen time, so you can do it side

622
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:50,640
Speaker 1: by side with lots of opportunities to cuddle and to interact.

623
00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,959
Speaker 1: Or maybe you'll wait until he's napping or in bed

624
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,840
Speaker 1: to dig into social or even to catch up on

625
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 1: messages that you've been ignoring all day. Of course, you're

626
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:05,480
Speaker 1: going to do some of your parenting while distracted by

627
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 1: your phone, and maybe you'll continue to do more than

628
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,359
Speaker 1: you'd like. Like you know what I say, Just keep trying,

629
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 1: keep trying, one day at a time. Challenge yourself to

630
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:16,560
Speaker 1: put the phone down in a place that you can't

631
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,719
Speaker 1: reach it as many times during the day as you can,

632
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 1: and go gradually if that's easier than going cold turkey,

633
00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 1: or go cold turkey if that's easier than going gradually.

634
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:29,200
Speaker 1: But when you're in with your child, try to go

635
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:33,240
Speaker 1: all in so that means eyes, ears, and yes, even thumbs.

636
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:38,160
Speaker 1: Your little guy will love that you are present pretty

637
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:41,840
Speaker 1: much The best present for a little one is your attention,

638
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 1: but you'll also get something out of it. Kids who

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00:36:44,840 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 1: aren't always having to compete with Facebook for some face

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00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 1: time with your parents might not feel as compelled to

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00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 1: scream for attention when they crave it. And who knows,

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00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: he might even become a better listener as he grows

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00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:01,960
Speaker 1: because he'll be listened to more, and he'll also be

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00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 1: learning one of life's most important lessons about life in

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00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 1: the age of social media, face to face interface is

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00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:14,320
Speaker 1: the best kind of all, hands down, and one more time,

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00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 1: just because I literally can't say it enough, you are

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00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:21,799
Speaker 1: not alone, mom. We are all in this together, and

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00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:31,479
Speaker 1: I really really hope that perspective helps who baby love,

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00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 1: my baby love. I need you, Oh hell, I need you.

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00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. Remember I'm always here for you. What

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00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 1: to Expect is always here for you. We're all in

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00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 1: this together. For more on what you heard on today's episode,

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00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:52,960
Speaker 1: visit what to Expect dot com slash of podcast. You

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00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,560
Speaker 1: can also check out what to Expect when You're Expecting,

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00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 1: What to Expect the First Year, and the what to

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00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:02,760
Speaker 1: Expect app. And we want to hear from you. Connect

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00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,719
Speaker 1: with us on our community message board or on our

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00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:09,440
Speaker 1: social media. You can find me at Heidi Murkoff and

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00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 1: Emma at Emma Being w t E. And of course

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00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 1: at What to Expect. Baby Love is performed by Riley Beater.

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00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 1: What to Expect is a production of I Heart Radio.

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00:38:22,480 --> 00:38:25,239
Speaker 1: From more shows from I Heart Radio check out the

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Speaker 1: I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen

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00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:35,120
Speaker 1: to your favorite shows. In my Arms, what Don't You Stay?

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00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: Knija knieda Baby, Baby