1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:04,000 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercam. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of two and soon to be three 4 00:00:11,200 --> 00:00:14,159 Speaker 1: and a practicing physician. We are two working parents who 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 1: love our careers and our families. Welcome to best of 6 00:00:17,560 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: both worlds. Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:25,760 Speaker 1: and time for fun. From figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,560 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:34,920 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Today, Sarah and I are going to 11 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: be talking about outsourcing, a perennially popular topic among our 12 00:00:44,159 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 1: readers and listeners. We're going to talk about how to 13 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:49,920 Speaker 1: outsource like a pro fring out time without creating more headaches, 14 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: because that could happen too. But before we get into that, 15 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: speaking of outsourcing, we were talking earlier about the things 16 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 1: that people outsource, and one thing that it doesn't occur 17 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:03,720 Speaker 1: to most people that they are outsourcing is food, and 18 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: not just restaurant meals, which is a form of outsourcing. 19 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:11,279 Speaker 1: Pueing your food at the grocery store is in fact 20 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: outsourcing tool. To say unless you are grinding your own 21 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,640 Speaker 1: wheat or churning your own butter, you are outsourcing something. 22 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 1: We are not churning our own butter here. But we 23 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 1: were talking earlier about what our kids are willing to eat, 24 00:01:24,200 --> 00:01:27,000 Speaker 1: butter being a cute component overheer of things my kids 25 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:30,320 Speaker 1: are willing to eat, Sarah, what have your kids been 26 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:34,840 Speaker 1: happy about eating lately? My kids seem to change depending 27 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: on the direction of the wind. There is not a 28 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:42,080 Speaker 1: lot of consistency. I had really, really non picky toddlers 29 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,160 Speaker 1: who would basically eat anything in sight, and they have 30 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 1: morphed into much more choosy preschoolers. And I'm not gonna 31 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: take any fault on that. I think that's just sort 32 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: of natural evolution of palate. But yeah, it really tends 33 00:01:56,280 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: to vary, and what they might choose one night won't 34 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,600 Speaker 1: go over well another night. There are some perennial favorites. 35 00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,920 Speaker 1: The burrito bowl always a hit for some reason. Rice 36 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 1: and beans, like they think that's the best thing ever. 37 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: And anything customizable, you know, so if there's rice and 38 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: beans and then they can decide how they'd like to 39 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,000 Speaker 1: add their cheese or avocado or salsa or other vegetables. 40 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,720 Speaker 1: They're much more likely to do it versus being given 41 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: something all mixed together, which is usually a fail. How 42 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 1: about you guys, just looking on your list, you gave 43 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,400 Speaker 1: me of things your kids eating salmon burgers, like seriously, 44 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 1: well that was like a new one this week. So 45 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 1: after the hurricane, we often have fish on Monday. It's 46 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,680 Speaker 1: like part of our routine and we may do a 47 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: more in depth meal planning discussion in the future, because 48 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: there were some listeners that asked for it. But we 49 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: almost always eat fish on Monday. But after the hurricane, 50 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,360 Speaker 1: there was like very little choices. So our nanny who 51 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: does the shopping for us, picked up salmon burgers and 52 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 1: it turned out to be like a sleeper hit, like 53 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: they devoured them. They wanted more. Josh got home and 54 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 1: was eating dinner, they were trying to eat his like 55 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 1: who knews. So it's very unpredictable because if you put 56 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: like one green pepper on a pizza, it'll be like 57 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,919 Speaker 1: completely rejected, and yet they're eating salmon burger. So I 58 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 1: don't know, there's just like not a lot of rhyme 59 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:13,639 Speaker 1: or reasons. I would say that it is my experience 60 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:15,920 Speaker 1: with small children as well as that is totally and 61 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 1: completely random. I mean, the thing about having four kids 62 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: is that I also can see that children are incredibly different. 63 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,240 Speaker 1: Some of my kids are far more willing to try 64 00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: new foods than others. Some are more anxious about their food. 65 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 1: Some really love to eat food, some don't. There is 66 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,640 Speaker 1: absolutely nothing I did differently with any of them, and 67 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,800 Speaker 1: so it's not that I was a good mother for 68 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 1: some and a bad mother for others. It's just that 69 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: they are different. And you know, we see this with 70 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: adults too. I mean, there's some people who really love 71 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: their food. Some people are really into their comfort food, 72 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 1: but then other people love to try all sorts of 73 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,839 Speaker 1: new food. And I'm one of those people who loves 74 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: to try new food. And oddly enough, my little brother 75 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,400 Speaker 1: is now too, which is hilarious to everyone who knew him, 76 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: because he was a definite pizza only kind of kid 77 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:06,120 Speaker 1: growing up. And in fact, I have this memory of 78 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 1: going to a restaurant once with him and they had 79 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,560 Speaker 1: pizza on the kid's menu and he refused to eat 80 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,320 Speaker 1: it because it didn't come in a box, and bless 81 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 1: the kitchen staff, they went and found a box and 82 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: put his pizza in it, and then I guess I 83 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:22,560 Speaker 1: assumed the story was he was willing to eat it, then, 84 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: I hope. So it's not a good story if he didn't. 85 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 1: But of course, like now, like my parents were joking 86 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: on you know, a couple of years ago whatever, they 87 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 1: turned on FaceTime to talk with him, and he was 88 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:35,880 Speaker 1: making kale chips like what on earth? But of course 89 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,840 Speaker 1: there was like a young lady involved, right like, And 90 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:41,919 Speaker 1: that was what it came too, is that as he 91 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: became an adult and you know, wished to make friends 92 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 1: and sometimes friends of the opposite gender, it turned out 93 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: that not all women like to be taken out for 94 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: pizza and beer constantly. So next thing, you know, there's 95 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: kill chips, there's sushi, there's Ethiopian food. So I think 96 00:04:57,440 --> 00:05:01,160 Speaker 1: that's a heartwarming story in the sense of whatever your 97 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 1: kids don't eat now, like they may totally eat different 98 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 1: foods as adults. I mean, we do a lot of 99 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,839 Speaker 1: the kid friendly food around here, but they like the 100 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 1: customizable stuff too. They like make your own pizza night. 101 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: For whatever reason, my daughter likes to put strawberries on 102 00:05:16,279 --> 00:05:18,440 Speaker 1: her pizza, and so why not, Like if she wants 103 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:21,480 Speaker 1: strawberry pizza, go for it. And that sounds kind of edgy. 104 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:24,520 Speaker 1: It's a little edgy. Even if it'd be like I 105 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: would say, what if it be like goat cheese and 106 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,479 Speaker 1: strawberry and bisamac, that would actually be it would work. 107 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,480 Speaker 1: She not, you know whatever one kid does bisomac kind 108 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:35,320 Speaker 1: of salads but not the others. And then you know, 109 00:05:35,360 --> 00:05:38,279 Speaker 1: make your own tacos. So you know, one kid loads 110 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,119 Speaker 1: them up with tomatoes and the other kids would prefer 111 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 1: the tomatoes never appear on the table. So you know, 112 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 1: it's just all all like that. But I mean one 113 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 1: thing we do. We offer a lot of fruits and 114 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:53,159 Speaker 1: veggies at our meals. We ask them to try five bites. 115 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:55,200 Speaker 1: They don't have to be huge bites, but have five 116 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: bites of everything. And that you know, I actually have 117 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 1: my older boys buy lunch at school. You know, it's 118 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: it's not necessarily a time savy thing for me. And 119 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,279 Speaker 1: that my my nanny makes lunch for my daughter who 120 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,600 Speaker 1: doesn't have a cafeteria. So it's not even about like 121 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: I'm trying to save myself time right here. I kind 122 00:06:11,320 --> 00:06:13,039 Speaker 1: of like the idea of a them having hot lunch 123 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: and be making their own choices and learning how to 124 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,480 Speaker 1: do that. I give them guidelines. I'm like, I can 125 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 1: tell I can see what you have bought, like there 126 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 1: is a digital record of what you have bought. I 127 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,920 Speaker 1: don't know what you ate, obviously, but the next wave 128 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,159 Speaker 1: of test, the next wave of my children will be 129 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 1: chipped and I can see what they ate. But in 130 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 1: fact they you know, I can tell if they're not 131 00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,480 Speaker 1: you know, if they're eating too much junk, if they're 132 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,680 Speaker 1: buying too much junk, or they're not taking fruits and 133 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: vegetables from y all the cart stuff. So then we 134 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,920 Speaker 1: have a discussion about it, and I say, well, if 135 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 1: you're not taking fruits and vegetables, I will not let 136 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:48,479 Speaker 1: you buy lunch. And so I you know, I have 137 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,320 Speaker 1: something I want them to learn. That's I mean, you 138 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:56,280 Speaker 1: professionally are opinions about this. I mean, I am right though, 139 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 1: that you got to teach children to make healthy choices. Yes, 140 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,599 Speaker 1: you do. And of course that degree of independence is 141 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,360 Speaker 1: going to increase as they get older. We're not quite 142 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,159 Speaker 1: there yet. My daughter just started kindergarten. We do pack 143 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: her lunch still. That's partly because I think, honestly, she's 144 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: picking up that she may not eat anything on the line, 145 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,560 Speaker 1: but it's also because I like to kind of control 146 00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: the content to some extent. I also outsource this, so 147 00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: I don't make the lunch, but I like kind of 148 00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,840 Speaker 1: knowing what the ingredients are and what the contents are, 149 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: and knowing that there's not like fifty additives and all 150 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: that kind of stuff, and I will say sorry just 151 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: if I can jump in. The school lunch has gotten 152 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: a lot better. Yes, that is true. That is true, 153 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 1: but it does vary from school to school, and ours 154 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:41,000 Speaker 1: certainly is not perfect yet from what I've heard from 155 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 1: some of the older kids. Plus at five, I don't 156 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: know that she'd have this sense to pay like. I 157 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: think she might end up just sort of picking, like, 158 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: you know, a pile of cheese and like that's it, 159 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:57,400 Speaker 1: which I guess is fine, but in fat right, I 160 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 1: just don't know. Yeah, we try to keep it pretty healthy. 161 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:05,520 Speaker 1: We're certainly not like no cake, no candy ever, But 162 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: we do find that if we just don't keep certain 163 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,960 Speaker 1: temptations in the house, then you don't have to have 164 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 1: the battles about them. And then when it is a 165 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: special occasion, you know, we really do let them kind 166 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,800 Speaker 1: of do what they want. And it seems to have 167 00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 1: worked out thus far. I love if anybody's struggled with 168 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,360 Speaker 1: kind of getting your kids to make healthier choices or 169 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: trying to figure out where to set boundaries and where 170 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:29,600 Speaker 1: not to ellen sadder. E. L. L y N. S 171 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 1: att Er is a dietician with a great series of 172 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: books on this, and her philosophy is you can decide 173 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: what and when the kids eat, and they decide if 174 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,839 Speaker 1: they want to eat and how much. So we actually 175 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: don't even have like a specific bite policy. It's like, Okay, 176 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,000 Speaker 1: this is dinner, and we do try to make sure 177 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:48,080 Speaker 1: that there's something there that they will eat. And again, 178 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 1: remember I'm not always there for dinner, but when we are, 179 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 1: and they can eat of it what they would like 180 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 1: or not. Yeah, and so far, so good. I mean, yeah, 181 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 1: I think I think so. I mean they're they they're 182 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,440 Speaker 1: reasonable with their choices. Hey they eat salmon burgers, but no, 183 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:11,200 Speaker 1: they certainly don't eat everything. Both of them have I think, 184 00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 1: you know, very normal They were really big as toddlers, 185 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 1: but then both of them have kind of grown into 186 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: very normal sized children. So you know, the growth is 187 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: really important. What I do all days look at growth charts, 188 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 1: so I can't help but be somewhat cognizant of what's 189 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 1: going on there, but no, they I think I think 190 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,400 Speaker 1: it's worked pretty well. Yeah, the growth thing is is 191 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 1: interesting because I'm now seeing that from the preteen boy 192 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:35,080 Speaker 1: side of it, and you know, it's like the hollow 193 00:09:35,160 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 1: leg the food just disappear. And that's that's harder because 194 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:44,160 Speaker 1: you want to talk about like filling our bellies with 195 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: healthy things. Yeah, like if you're gonna be eating five, 196 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 1: let's hope it's something decent. But it's hard, I mean 197 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: because obviously they like snack stuff too, and you know, 198 00:09:55,920 --> 00:10:01,120 Speaker 1: he's hungry like you. I mean, absolutely, we have a 199 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:04,079 Speaker 1: big energy requirement at that age. But yeah, we're definitely 200 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:07,560 Speaker 1: in a society where this is not easy. And we're 201 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,560 Speaker 1: not going to answer this on our podcast, but I 202 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:14,440 Speaker 1: would I would say, I mean, Sarah obviously has you know, 203 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 1: sees professionally when things go wrong on the eating front 204 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,360 Speaker 1: with with her work with some children who have some 205 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:25,200 Speaker 1: serious issues with that. But I mean, I think you 206 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,920 Speaker 1: know a lot of families, you're probably within the normal range. 207 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 1: Like if you're not you know, feeding your kid's cake 208 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 1: at every meal, like you know, you're not putting coke 209 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: in their baby bottles. You're I'm sure you've seen that too, 210 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: but it's uh, you know, I think there could be 211 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 1: a lot of stress and anxiety for a lot of 212 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:47,680 Speaker 1: moms about their kids and food if you understand that 213 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: some kids are just pickier than others, and you probably 214 00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: don't want people to have such negative feelings about food. 215 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 1: From arguments that agree, I think the intensity needs to 216 00:10:57,320 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 1: be kept at a moderate level with this concern because 217 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,720 Speaker 1: I've actually sort of seen it backfire too. Yeah, it's 218 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 1: it's it's hard. It's interesting too, because things have definitely 219 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,880 Speaker 1: changed in the last ten twenty years with the availability 220 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 1: of all kinds of food. But I agree keeping things 221 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: low key, keeping things accepting, you know, generally having healthy 222 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 1: stuff in the house. I think I see the more 223 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:21,439 Speaker 1: casual families are the ones that kind of do the best. 224 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,559 Speaker 1: Maybe we should do a whole segment on that episode, 225 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 1: but because we're already like a third of the way 226 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: through our episode just on that. But here, let's go 227 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 1: to the mag segment. Sorry I got to introduced this. Yeah, well, 228 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,360 Speaker 1: they're definitely related because we're going to talk about how 229 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,800 Speaker 1: a lot of our outsourcing, well some of it definitely 230 00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: relates to that. But yeah, we got a lot of 231 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,640 Speaker 1: listener questions about outsourcing and a lot of people want 232 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: it specifics. You know, what do you do yourself, what 233 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 1: does your nanny do? How have you arranged that with her? 234 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,720 Speaker 1: And so we're going to read one of our questions 235 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:52,760 Speaker 1: and then kind of talk through how we decided what 236 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:55,800 Speaker 1: to outsource. So here we go. I have so many 237 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,920 Speaker 1: questions as a full time working mom of two, but 238 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: my number one is exactly what do you outsource? And 239 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: how we are constantly feeling bogged down and behind on 240 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:07,599 Speaker 1: life slash chores, slash household things, and never seem to 241 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: have enough time to work out my husband and I 242 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:14,439 Speaker 1: didn't write this, by the way, my husband in particular 243 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 1: struggles with this because his job is very full time 244 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: and no nonsense surgeon, and he is dedicated to being 245 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: a present parent and helpful at home when he's not working. 246 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: That's why I had to say I didn't write it 247 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: because it could be confusing. And then there's another one 248 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:30,200 Speaker 1: from another listener who said, I love the references from 249 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:35,079 Speaker 1: your books, Laura's books regarding smart outsourcing, and I'm wondering 250 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 1: if you could walk through some of the possibilities particularly 251 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,320 Speaker 1: any that we might not think of beyond childcare, and 252 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,000 Speaker 1: any insights and advice into where to find good help 253 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 1: and the practicalities of employing others. Yeah, I mean it's 254 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 1: a great question because obviously, the more you can get 255 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,920 Speaker 1: off your plate that is not what might be a 256 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 1: core confidency, something that you do best and others can't 257 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 1: do nearly as well. There how efficient your life can be, 258 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,400 Speaker 1: and the more effective your life can be, And many 259 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 1: of us know to do this at work. Sarah and 260 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: I are not the ones producing this podcast, for instance, 261 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,480 Speaker 1: We've got somebody who does that for us. And because 262 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 1: we didn't know that it would work for us to 263 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: figure out how to load on iTunes and all that 264 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 1: good stuff, do professional audio things, it's not in our 265 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 1: skill set and it wasn't really worth it to spend 266 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,680 Speaker 1: the time learning. And you know the same thing. If 267 00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:26,839 Speaker 1: you've got an assistant at work, she deals with lots 268 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,400 Speaker 1: of stuff for you on the administrative front. You know, 269 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,840 Speaker 1: I outsourced a lot of publicity and marketing help. So 270 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,640 Speaker 1: it's the exact same thing at home. You need help 271 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 1: to do the things that maybe aren't the best use 272 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 1: of your time if you have limited times that then 273 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 1: you can do other things with your time. One thing, 274 00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:48,600 Speaker 1: you know, and as I'm explaining my philosophy or just say, hey, 275 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:54,760 Speaker 1: that everybody outsources. So sometimes we've gotten emails from people 276 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:58,800 Speaker 1: being like, why don't outsource anything because I want to 277 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 1: what ever, do it all myself? Or I pride myself 278 00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 1: on doing it all myself, or I am you know, 279 00:14:05,559 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 1: I've judged people who don't do it all those because 280 00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 1: whatever the form of the email tape, and the truth 281 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:14,560 Speaker 1: is that you don't like again, unless you are sowing 282 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,320 Speaker 1: all your own clothes, you have chosen to outsource that 283 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:21,080 Speaker 1: to factories that make clothes. Unless you are growing all 284 00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 1: your food from scratch, like on a farm, you are 285 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 1: outsourcing to farmers. You are probably outsourcing your package delivery, 286 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,720 Speaker 1: like you are not taking your letter yourself and driving 287 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:35,240 Speaker 1: it to Wisconsin. Like everybody outsources stuff. It's just that 288 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 1: we have more issues around outsourcing stuff within the house. 289 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,600 Speaker 1: And I think that's often because that is perceived as 290 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:46,800 Speaker 1: women's work. If you look at the things the household 291 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:49,840 Speaker 1: tasks that are most commonly outsourced, it is lawn care. 292 00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: And again I think that's the reason is that's traditionally 293 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 1: men's work. Right, and so men are more allowed to 294 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 1: do that, whereas women are told that if you are 295 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:02,920 Speaker 1: not doing it, you are somehow failing. So you know, 296 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,240 Speaker 1: that's my philosophy is that it's all just a matter 297 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,120 Speaker 1: of degree, and so you have to figure out what 298 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 1: works with your family. What I would always say is 299 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,360 Speaker 1: look at how you're spending your time. To keep track 300 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 1: of your time for a week or two weeks and 301 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:18,840 Speaker 1: see where the major time sucks are and then figure 302 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 1: out what you could do. So for me, if I 303 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,800 Speaker 1: look at what would take the most time, a couple 304 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: of things. You know, laundry obviously takes a lot of 305 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:33,800 Speaker 1: time for the kids, the cooking on weeknights, the grocery shopping, 306 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:37,560 Speaker 1: running errands for like one off items, and so almost 307 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,440 Speaker 1: all of those where you have outsourced. I do my 308 00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,400 Speaker 1: own laundry, and you know, my husband and I trade 309 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: off we doing each other's laundry. But our nanny does 310 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 1: the kids. We put that as part of the job. 311 00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 1: She what also negotiated her doing a lot of the 312 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 1: cooking on weeknights. And we order pretty much everything online. Clothes, 313 00:15:55,200 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 1: birthday gifts, I mean, God blessed Amazon Prime right, Yes, 314 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:04,000 Speaker 1: definitely a very popular service for everyone, And so how 315 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 1: about you, like, what did you decide what to? Yeah, 316 00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,040 Speaker 1: well is that your whole list? Come on? No, I 317 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 1: mean I agree. I think I think there's like a 318 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 1: shame factor here and no one wants to kind of 319 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 1: admit it. But I think if if everybody is a 320 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: little bit more honest, then maybe that would take that 321 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,280 Speaker 1: away for something, you know, and I'm I'm I'm pretty 322 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:31,280 Speaker 1: upfront about it. You are, I can tell you comments 323 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: I have got that. I must be one thing we 324 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 1: don't out we get our lawn mode. But I have tried, unsuccessfully, 325 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: and my husband has tried unsuccessfully to get like a 326 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 1: lot a yard guy, like a gardener type person to 327 00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:48,800 Speaker 1: come and do a lot of our planting and weeding 328 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,920 Speaker 1: and you know, the landscaping stuff. You know, it's it's 329 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,560 Speaker 1: it's not a small yard. It's about three quarters of 330 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,200 Speaker 1: an acre, and so there's kind of a lot of stuff, 331 00:16:58,840 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: and my husband does I would say, you know, ninety 332 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,520 Speaker 1: five percent of it. And I've really been trying to 333 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,960 Speaker 1: get that to not be the case because I feel 334 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,840 Speaker 1: like it takes a big chunk of his weekend. And 335 00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 1: then he there's a funny interplay with that because I think, 336 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:16,080 Speaker 1: you know, it takes a lot of his weekend, which 337 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:17,560 Speaker 1: he may not always want to do, but sometimes he 338 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:19,119 Speaker 1: does because it's an excuse to like get out of 339 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 1: the house with all the shrieking children. And then I'm like, well, 340 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 1: wait a minute, I don't want to be in the 341 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: house with the shrieking children either, but somebody has to be. 342 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,800 Speaker 1: So is that I read a post recently it's sort 343 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,600 Speaker 1: of like fake martyrdom, like, oh, I've got to do 344 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,440 Speaker 1: this task, and like, admit it, you want to build 345 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,919 Speaker 1: that Ikeia shelf in silence or with you like your 346 00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 1: music going by yourself? Yeah, I know. At one point 347 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,159 Speaker 1: I was like, I swear you're going to the hardware 348 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,119 Speaker 1: store and returning with one bag of mulch at a 349 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 1: time because it was like a way to get away 350 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,480 Speaker 1: on the weekend, which you know, then he started to 351 00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:51,560 Speaker 1: like often now he will take the two year old 352 00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:52,640 Speaker 1: with him, and if he wants to take the two 353 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 1: year old with him on any year end, he can 354 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:55,800 Speaker 1: do whatever he wants, Like I don't care. He could 355 00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,879 Speaker 1: go all day if he wants to take the a 356 00:17:57,880 --> 00:18:00,520 Speaker 1: two year old with him. But yeah, there's that which 357 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 1: we have not really outsourced. We have a cleaning service. Othough, 358 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,439 Speaker 1: let's let's talk about that. So how does your cleaning happen? 359 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,840 Speaker 1: By the way, because there's some efficiencies here involved in 360 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,560 Speaker 1: this question we used to have. Okay, so let me 361 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:17,480 Speaker 1: actually take a step back and talk about what our 362 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,600 Speaker 1: amazing nanny does for us and how we you know, 363 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,679 Speaker 1: discuss that and kind of work that out because that 364 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 1: will answer a lot of these questions. So we you know, 365 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,159 Speaker 1: we employ her full time. She works from seven thirty 366 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:31,560 Speaker 1: am to six pm, so it's pretty long hours. There 367 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,280 Speaker 1: are definitely days that are earlier and days that are off, 368 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,880 Speaker 1: and we know we'll make trades, but that's her general hours. 369 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:41,240 Speaker 1: But our kids are in school for like six hours 370 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:43,359 Speaker 1: of that a lot of the time, so she she 371 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:46,479 Speaker 1: has a lot of time. And basically, you know, we 372 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:48,679 Speaker 1: talked about it and I'm sort of like I would 373 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 1: love it, and actually she took a lot of the initiative. 374 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 1: And again this is you know, pure luck in that 375 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:58,120 Speaker 1: we we have a really, really wonderful person working with us. 376 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,439 Speaker 1: You know, she's basically being me what I would be 377 00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:04,359 Speaker 1: doing if I were home having dropped off my children 378 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 1: all day. So she does the everyday straightening up. She 379 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 1: currently does like a once a week deep clean now 380 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,760 Speaker 1: once we have the baby, and when our kids were 381 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 1: not in school, we actually had a separate cleaning service 382 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,240 Speaker 1: come once a week to do that. But right now 383 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 1: she feels like she has plenty of time to do it, 384 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,959 Speaker 1: so she does. She does the grocery shopping. She does 385 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 1: all of our laundry, which is actually I didn't initially 386 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,439 Speaker 1: kind of ask for that, but it's just sort of 387 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,720 Speaker 1: evolved that way because she kind of hangs out and 388 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,399 Speaker 1: she watches shows and like folds a laundry and it 389 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:36,080 Speaker 1: sounds great, and if I were home, I'd be happy 390 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:39,520 Speaker 1: to do that too, but I'm not so exactly. She 391 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:42,639 Speaker 1: does do the laundry when I come home, She preps 392 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:46,640 Speaker 1: the kids lunches. She cooks usually three times a week, 393 00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 1: so I do all the meal planning. I read a 394 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:50,840 Speaker 1: grocery list. She'll go on Monday. She'll cook a very 395 00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,400 Speaker 1: simple dinner on Monday. Often it's fish because just because 396 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,280 Speaker 1: the fish is fresh, and then usually something on Tuesday 397 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:58,359 Speaker 1: and something on Thursday, and we're thrilled and happy to 398 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:02,160 Speaker 1: eat leftovers on Wednesday and Friday. So really a lot 399 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: of that sort of stay at home mom type, stay 400 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:09,920 Speaker 1: at home parent. Sorry, type of things that people need 401 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: to do for household management are done for me during 402 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,760 Speaker 1: those hours when the kids are in school. Once the 403 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 1: baby comes, you know, we may have to kind of 404 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 1: rework things. But you know, what we have learned is 405 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,800 Speaker 1: that period really is quite temporary. By the age of two, 406 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to be sending our third to at least 407 00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,240 Speaker 1: some degree of preschool, just like I did with the 408 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 1: other two. So even if we have a slightly different 409 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,919 Speaker 1: situation for a little while, I don't think things are 410 00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 1: going to change that much in long term. Oh and 411 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:38,919 Speaker 1: by the way, the reason her hours like kind of 412 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 1: need to be that long partly just have to do 413 00:20:41,600 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 1: with my work commute, because I have to begin seeing 414 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,960 Speaker 1: patients at eight thirty in the morning and I have 415 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: to leave it about seven forty five for that to happen. 416 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 1: So that means that she really does need to be 417 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,240 Speaker 1: there for school drop off. There's not really an easy, 418 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,560 Speaker 1: workable way around that. And then Josh is a little 419 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,760 Speaker 1: bit more unpredictable. He actually does take the kids to 420 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,959 Speaker 1: school sometimes on his days when he can, but his 421 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,879 Speaker 1: hours vary a lot more so we can't necessarily rely 422 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,880 Speaker 1: on on that I'm consistent and so the way you're 423 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:10,960 Speaker 1: doing it, then it really does take work off your plate. 424 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,280 Speaker 1: And this is one thing I want to caution people 425 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: when a lot of the time, when people are thinking 426 00:21:15,119 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: about outsourcing, you know, beyond childcare, the first thing they 427 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,800 Speaker 1: think about is, oh, I should hire a cleaning service, 428 00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 1: and that can work. But the thing is, what I've 429 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,879 Speaker 1: found happens for a lot of people at the cleaning 430 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:30,280 Speaker 1: service is that they have a cleaner house, but it 431 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:34,439 Speaker 1: doesn't actually save them time because what you know, the 432 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,480 Speaker 1: cleaning service will do if they're there, you know, once 433 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:37,879 Speaker 1: a week or once every two weeks will do a 434 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:40,080 Speaker 1: deep clean of the house. And that's great. But if 435 00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:43,200 Speaker 1: you weren't vacuuming every room all that often anyway, or 436 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 1: dusting all the base boards that often like, then you're 437 00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,400 Speaker 1: not saving time. Again, it's just a cleaner house, which 438 00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 1: could be great, but it's not what took your time. 439 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 1: A lot of the stuff that takes the time is 440 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:57,080 Speaker 1: gonna have to be outsourced to a person, and so 441 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 1: the things like laundry, cooking or shopping, watch day, the 442 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 1: daily pick up, the cleaning the kitchen, you know, things 443 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,600 Speaker 1: like that if that is what is taking most of 444 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,480 Speaker 1: your time, and I'm guessing if you are a normal 445 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,920 Speaker 1: person running a normal household, that is what is taking 446 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,040 Speaker 1: your time. That has to be sort of outsourced individually 447 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,879 Speaker 1: to a person. Now, there are ways you could do that. Obviously, 448 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:22,120 Speaker 1: if you have a full time caregiver looking after your kids, 449 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,879 Speaker 1: that maybe something that you could negotiate as part of 450 00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,640 Speaker 1: their work, especially if your kids are in school as 451 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,680 Speaker 1: in Sarah's case, or if they are napping for considerable 452 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,159 Speaker 1: periods of time. It could be that, for instance, if 453 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:36,240 Speaker 1: you have an after school sitter. If your kids are 454 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:37,880 Speaker 1: in school and you have an after school sitter, maybe 455 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:40,440 Speaker 1: you could find somebody who's willing to come an hour 456 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,719 Speaker 1: to ninety minutes before your kids get home from school, 457 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,800 Speaker 1: and then they could do that stuff during that time, right, 458 00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,359 Speaker 1: and then you'd again have somebody there frequently in the 459 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,600 Speaker 1: house doing it. When we had not had that as 460 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,840 Speaker 1: part of our nanny's job descriptions, I mean, when we 461 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,760 Speaker 1: had more like little kids at home, we had hired 462 00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:00,879 Speaker 1: a separate housekeeper who had come twice week for four 463 00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 1: hours and do all that stuff. Now that got you know, 464 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,920 Speaker 1: the house clean and the laundry done and the kitchen 465 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,359 Speaker 1: sparkling twice a week. It did not obviously get the 466 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 1: kitchen cleaned up then the other days of the week, 467 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: and so that was, you know, still something that was 468 00:23:15,760 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 1: taking some time. So the situation we have now is 469 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,439 Speaker 1: our Nanni does a lot of that and then we 470 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:23,800 Speaker 1: have a cleaning service come every two weeks to do 471 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:28,679 Speaker 1: the deep clean and that's wound up mostly taking that 472 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:33,959 Speaker 1: off our plates having to do the cleaning. And if 473 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,280 Speaker 1: you like doing some of these things, and I'm not joking, 474 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:39,359 Speaker 1: because you know sometimes I actually do kind of like 475 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,520 Speaker 1: doing laundry. If I actually have the time for it, 476 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,600 Speaker 1: and there are definitely men and women who like cleaning, 477 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:49,280 Speaker 1: then that's fine. It's just that if you don't, or 478 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,160 Speaker 1: you feel like there's a better use of your time 479 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:55,200 Speaker 1: and it's feasible for you because likely you're doing other 480 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,479 Speaker 1: work elsewhere, then I just I think we have to 481 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:03,040 Speaker 1: give ourselves the permission, and even if it's not necessarily 482 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,239 Speaker 1: in the cultural I don't know zeitgeist, and I may 483 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:10,280 Speaker 1: get a lot of kind of hate comments for this list, 484 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,760 Speaker 1: but but I really think it's improved the quality of 485 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,720 Speaker 1: our lives drastically and I am willing to sacrifice in 486 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:21,480 Speaker 1: other areas, particularly in the areas of stuff and tangible 487 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:27,919 Speaker 1: items to make my lifestyle workable. I was gonna say, 488 00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,439 Speaker 1: I want to complete the list because there's like we 489 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: also out because I'm just gonna be real here. We 490 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,040 Speaker 1: also outsourced the yard work pretty much all outdoor work. 491 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 1: As I said, grocery shopping or nanny does that so 492 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 1: you can get groceries delivered. If people are listening to this, 493 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:47,520 Speaker 1: that can be groceries delivered. And with the meals, a 494 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,520 Speaker 1: lot of people are doing those really cool meal kits, 495 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,919 Speaker 1: which I would be all over if we didn't have 496 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,160 Speaker 1: our current situation because I think they just look really fun. 497 00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 1: We order almost every gift online and a lot of 498 00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,120 Speaker 1: it is not signed up for like Amazon Prime. Who 499 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:06,359 Speaker 1: is listening to this, I would highly recommend. It's like 500 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:10,080 Speaker 1: a game changer in terms pays in dividends and dividends 501 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,199 Speaker 1: for itself because often you would have it wouldn't have 502 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,200 Speaker 1: been two days till you could get to the store 503 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:18,280 Speaker 1: anyway to get some random item, and like it pays 504 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,080 Speaker 1: for itself if it keeps you out of target, because 505 00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:21,440 Speaker 1: like as soon as you go to target, you know 506 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:24,440 Speaker 1: you're spending like eighty bucks on something you didn't need anyway, right, 507 00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:27,600 Speaker 1: Like this is the reality of the target run. And 508 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 1: then you know your time, Like if you're spending two 509 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 1: hours on a weekend going shopping somewhere, that's two hours 510 00:25:33,560 --> 00:25:35,520 Speaker 1: you're not like having fun. You're not playing with your 511 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 1: kids outside, you're not reading them stories, like you're just 512 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 1: pushing your cart around Walmart. And you know, I mean, 513 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,080 Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with doing that, it's just if your 514 00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,439 Speaker 1: time is limited during the week, you may want to 515 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 1: spend your weekend time doing different things. And it's very true. 516 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,160 Speaker 1: Like one of the biggest boosts or bonuses I guess 517 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,359 Speaker 1: about having all this stuff done, is it when I 518 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,840 Speaker 1: come home, I'm hanging out with the kids and my 519 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,480 Speaker 1: attention is completely on them. I'm not thinking the house, 520 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 1: i am not thinking about the laundry. I'm really focused 521 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,919 Speaker 1: on them until they're asleep, and then I'm able to 522 00:26:06,920 --> 00:26:09,120 Speaker 1: focus on them in the morning and generally on weekends. 523 00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:13,320 Speaker 1: So it really the idea that you're somehow doing your 524 00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:17,480 Speaker 1: family a disservice by having others do household chores doesn't 525 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:19,359 Speaker 1: quite add up for me, especially if you do have 526 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,960 Speaker 1: limited hours to spend with your kids anyway, because it 527 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,960 Speaker 1: actually kind of works the other way around. I mean, 528 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,840 Speaker 1: we want to get through Sarah's list here, but I 529 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,879 Speaker 1: think I'm almost through. But that's an important point because 530 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,879 Speaker 1: one of the notes both of us have getten about 531 00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 1: what you know we're talking about here to get emails 532 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 1: from people who read our blogs. They say, well, what 533 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,959 Speaker 1: is it teaching your kids? Is it teaching them that 534 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,680 Speaker 1: they don't have to do work? Well, that's not true. 535 00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:47,000 Speaker 1: I mean, Sarah works many hours per week in her 536 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,680 Speaker 1: position stuff, So they're certainly not learning that you don't 537 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:54,119 Speaker 1: have to work. They're not learning that you don't do 538 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 1: anything ever in the house because again there's still some 539 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: stuff that gets sent. But the thing is this stuff 540 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,440 Speaker 1: what when? I feel like that question should never be 541 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:06,160 Speaker 1: asked unless in a household where the adults are splitting 542 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:10,960 Speaker 1: things absolutely evenly in the that trauma would never be made. 543 00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,200 Speaker 1: If dad is, you know, an attorney or whatever and 544 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,200 Speaker 1: goes to work all day and mom does everything, nobody 545 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,760 Speaker 1: would say, well what do you What are you teaching 546 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,399 Speaker 1: your sons? But you are teaching you something which is 547 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:23,159 Speaker 1: that exactly and the same thing if you know and 548 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 1: you're in a two income family and mom does the 549 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:27,920 Speaker 1: majority of her or whatever. Because often this saying well 550 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,440 Speaker 1: you shouldn't outsource because that teaches your kids the wrong things. Well, 551 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:32,639 Speaker 1: what you're teaching your kid is that the woman in 552 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,480 Speaker 1: your life is supposed to do all of this for 553 00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:40,600 Speaker 1: you automatically without any compensation. And whereas if you're outsourcing it, 554 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 1: you're showing that it's a valuable thing because you're paying 555 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:47,119 Speaker 1: for it, right and and so again it's the economics 556 00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,719 Speaker 1: you're teaching that you know, mom's labor isn't valuable if 557 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,159 Speaker 1: she does it, whereas you know, obviously if you are 558 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,240 Speaker 1: paying somebody else to do it, you're showing it's a job. 559 00:27:55,400 --> 00:27:57,200 Speaker 1: And it is a real job. In many cases, it's 560 00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,719 Speaker 1: something that should be valued a lot more than it is. 561 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,080 Speaker 1: And I think in a lot of families where mom 562 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:05,280 Speaker 1: just does it, it isn't valued. So there we go. Yeah, 563 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:10,359 Speaker 1: that's a good point. All right, almost through my list. Okay, 564 00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:14,360 Speaker 1: Well we were both gonna mention clothes shopping, so though 565 00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:16,679 Speaker 1: I'm pregnant right now, and how to take a little hiatus. 566 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:22,440 Speaker 1: I love Trunk Club, which is sort of Nordstrom's virtual 567 00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:25,199 Speaker 1: personal shopping. I guess. So you know, you have a 568 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 1: stylist and you're able to kind of give them an 569 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:30,159 Speaker 1: idea of what you want and they ship you a 570 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,040 Speaker 1: box and then you ship back what you don't want. 571 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 1: And again this is non sponsored, but both Laura and 572 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,520 Speaker 1: I have enjoyed that service. And then there's also stitch Fix, 573 00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 1: which is really popular. And then I have a lot 574 00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,880 Speaker 1: of friends who will just every few months if they 575 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,080 Speaker 1: feel like they need a refresh, make an order, thinking 576 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:47,800 Speaker 1: that they're probably going to keep twenty percent of it. 577 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:49,160 Speaker 1: So you can kind of do the same thing on 578 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:52,440 Speaker 1: your own as well. But I really rarely spend any 579 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:57,720 Speaker 1: time in actual clothing stores anymore, although after having kids again, 580 00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:00,520 Speaker 1: you know with the post you know, when your body 581 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,040 Speaker 1: is not in a stable place, it may necessitate an 582 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,640 Speaker 1: actual visit to the store, which I'm not excited about. 583 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 1: That's okay, let's see what else. So a lot of 584 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,520 Speaker 1: the driving like taking, as I said, taking the kids 585 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 1: to school and activities. One new thing I learned is 586 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 1: that Walgreens will deliver your medications, so not having to 587 00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: go to the pharmacy or send somebody to the pharmacy, 588 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,120 Speaker 1: and then packing school lunches and I think that's that's 589 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,680 Speaker 1: all I could think of. But that's a lot. Yeah, 590 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:26,640 Speaker 1: but then there's many things you don't. I mean, because 591 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:28,640 Speaker 1: you do bedtime with your kids every night, and you 592 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,240 Speaker 1: do you and Josh more time we do the mornings. 593 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 1: I go, no, we don't. I mean, there are families 594 00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:38,160 Speaker 1: that do use tutors and such. I don't. You know, 595 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,120 Speaker 1: who knows what the future will bring, but right now 596 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: I enjoy going through Annabel's homework with her. I don't 597 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:46,320 Speaker 1: outsource planning, so I'm never gonna I love it too much, 598 00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:48,840 Speaker 1: so I can't imagine like a travel agent, like I 599 00:29:48,840 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 1: want to do it myself. I want to figure out 600 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: what we're going to do. I don't have somebody quote 601 00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:55,560 Speaker 1: unquote managing my calendar because I don't feel like anybody 602 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:57,720 Speaker 1: could do it as well as I do. I pay, 603 00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:01,480 Speaker 1: I pay the bills. We don't outsource kind of financial stuff. 604 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: To this point, we go to the gas station. A 605 00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,680 Speaker 1: lot of our neighbors have started outsourcing that, which I 606 00:30:07,720 --> 00:30:10,480 Speaker 1: think is interesting because it really doesn't take very much time. 607 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 1: I didn't even judgment then it exactly, Well, what else 608 00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:20,400 Speaker 1: can you think of? Any Yeah? I know, I know 609 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: we're like getting long into this. But any exotic things 610 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,600 Speaker 1: you can think of that we haven't mentioned yet, well, 611 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:32,560 Speaker 1: you know, I can't really think of any right now. 612 00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:34,400 Speaker 1: But I mean even if you just think yourself like 613 00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:38,600 Speaker 1: outsourcing your kid's birthday parties in the sense of if 614 00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:41,040 Speaker 1: you go to one of your local places that does 615 00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:45,080 Speaker 1: eighteen birthday parties, they are very turnkey about it, like 616 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,040 Speaker 1: they give you everything, like you don't have to think 617 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: about it. We have definitely done it. I mean there 618 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:51,800 Speaker 1: was one year where all three two of the bigger 619 00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 1: children had their birthday parties at this place called Bounce. 620 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:56,640 Speaker 1: You I was like, I don't know what percent of 621 00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 1: Bounce to us revenue I am responsible for this year. 622 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:03,400 Speaker 1: It's something, but you know it's so easy and like 623 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,480 Speaker 1: that's not something I do well, Like I would never 624 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 1: I'm not the kind of mom who can plan like 625 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,160 Speaker 1: great craft activities for the backyard and games and have 626 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 1: the wonderful decorations and if you are awesome, like some 627 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:19,160 Speaker 1: people love doing that. But you know, if it's not you, 628 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:21,959 Speaker 1: it's not you. So one thing I want to get to. 629 00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:25,280 Speaker 1: As we're getting to our love of the week. Moving 630 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:29,280 Speaker 1: on out of the second, Sarah mentioned that paying bills 631 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,560 Speaker 1: is obviously something that you know, financial tasks can be 632 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,280 Speaker 1: outsourced too, But you guys have a different solution. So 633 00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,000 Speaker 1: that's your love of the week, right. Oh well, actually 634 00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 1: it's not a different solution, but it's certainly along that vein. 635 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,480 Speaker 1: My love of the week this week is a program 636 00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:48,080 Speaker 1: called You Need a Budget, And it actually started as 637 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:49,800 Speaker 1: a software program where you just had to do a 638 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,920 Speaker 1: one time purchase and then you could download the app 639 00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:55,320 Speaker 1: and it would sink to your phone and you actually 640 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:58,320 Speaker 1: use this dropbox and basically it allows you to very 641 00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:02,920 Speaker 1: easily log every single purchase. And I'm not all that 642 00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:08,160 Speaker 1: savvy financially, but we've been using this since two thousand 643 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,360 Speaker 1: and I think the end of twenty fourteen, and knowing 644 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 1: where every single dollar goes has actually been really freeing. 645 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,440 Speaker 1: Like I love it. I have like my own sort 646 00:32:18,440 --> 00:32:20,400 Speaker 1: of bucket for every little thing we want to save 647 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:23,800 Speaker 1: for for my allowance. It'll help me tell I call 648 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:27,160 Speaker 1: it my allowances allowance, Like it's my own allowance, like 649 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 1: that like determined by me. Like I'm actually the one 650 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 1: who like gives Josh and I like a certain amount 651 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,960 Speaker 1: that like we should just not worry about if we 652 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,280 Speaker 1: want to buy sling for ourself each month, like if 653 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,960 Speaker 1: it's within whatever, then great, just like we do for 654 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,280 Speaker 1: our kids. Annabell gets three dollars a week. It's a 655 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:44,840 Speaker 1: very big deal. Instead of kind of worrying like oh, 656 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:46,520 Speaker 1: are we spending too much on this or that, you 657 00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:49,920 Speaker 1: can see it at any given moment exactly where you 658 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,440 Speaker 1: are and you can plan ahead for big purchases or vacations. 659 00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,240 Speaker 1: So anyway, I highly you know a lot of people 660 00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:59,680 Speaker 1: use Mint, which is very different because it's not it 661 00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:02,520 Speaker 1: doesn't get you that sort of micro level. The people 662 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:05,160 Speaker 1: who are devoted to you need a budget. Like if 663 00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,800 Speaker 1: you kind of you have to be a little bit 664 00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,200 Speaker 1: type A because you have to be willing to put 665 00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,479 Speaker 1: in the time to enter everything. But then once you do, 666 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,840 Speaker 1: it's just it's like incredibly sort of freeing to know 667 00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:17,280 Speaker 1: exactly what's happening, at least for me, Like I like 668 00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:20,680 Speaker 1: think about it less in a way, looking at it more. 669 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 1: I don't know how to explain that, but oh and 670 00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 1: I was gonna say, it's no longer a one time purchase. 671 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 1: That's the only sad thing. It's now a monthly service. 672 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:30,960 Speaker 1: I'm grandfathered in and anybody who had bought the prior 673 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 1: version is but now I believe it's like fifty dollars 674 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:35,680 Speaker 1: a year. Just kind of annoying to add like a 675 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:41,480 Speaker 1: budget item to a budget that But honestly, if I 676 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,080 Speaker 1: had to switch to that, I would, I mean, I 677 00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:45,400 Speaker 1: definitely would continue it, even if they get rid of 678 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:49,000 Speaker 1: the grandfathering and I started having to pay the monthly fee. 679 00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:51,240 Speaker 1: So check it out. Yeah, I checked my time, But 680 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:52,920 Speaker 1: I gotta say I wouldn't want to chart my money. 681 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:57,360 Speaker 1: I think I have more weird feelings about money, so 682 00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,640 Speaker 1: I probably wouldn't want to do that, which interesting because 683 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:02,080 Speaker 1: I'm terrible bullet tracking my time. Even though I always try, 684 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,200 Speaker 1: I like fail. So we'll have to discuss that later 685 00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:09,280 Speaker 1: exactly well, because I mean, so my issue is I'm 686 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,400 Speaker 1: a chronic under buyer. I don't like spending money. I 687 00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:15,279 Speaker 1: pretty much find it painful, which may be interesting if 688 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:16,920 Speaker 1: you think about all the things that we've talked about 689 00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:19,320 Speaker 1: outstoirs sing and that I'm easy. I find it easier 690 00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,719 Speaker 1: to pay for services, I guess than things, which my 691 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,520 Speaker 1: love of the week is when I conquered that feeling. 692 00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,560 Speaker 1: This past week, I have been sitting on an office 693 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,880 Speaker 1: chair that has a giant hole in it for the 694 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:34,200 Speaker 1: past several years, and so I just covered the hole 695 00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,920 Speaker 1: with a blanket and it was almost It was pretty 696 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,560 Speaker 1: embarrassing because my keyboard is in my office and the 697 00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,840 Speaker 1: kids do their piano lesson on the keyboards. When the 698 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:45,719 Speaker 1: piano teacher comes, he moves over my desk chair, so 699 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,120 Speaker 1: he was having to sit on this chair with a 700 00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:50,480 Speaker 1: giant hole in it as well. Like finally, I was like, 701 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,640 Speaker 1: if not for me, for Patrick, I will get a 702 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:58,000 Speaker 1: new chair, and so I did. I went graduate site 703 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:01,240 Speaker 1: and I ordered a new chair. This shipping was ridiculous 704 00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:03,200 Speaker 1: because they have this like flat rate shipping thing, and 705 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,319 Speaker 1: so I could have got a whole dining room table 706 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,879 Speaker 1: and eight chairs delivered to the same price as one chair. 707 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,480 Speaker 1: I needed the chair, so I did it. I'm sitting 708 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:12,560 Speaker 1: on I have my new office chair now, and it's awesome. 709 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:15,759 Speaker 1: Sometimes it's just so awesome to check one of those 710 00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,359 Speaker 1: things off the list that's been sitting there forever. Yeah, 711 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:24,319 Speaker 1: but wow, that is very exciting. That was progress. So 712 00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,520 Speaker 1: our listener question for the week, This one was definitely 713 00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:31,399 Speaker 1: for Sarah So our listener wrote that she loves our 714 00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,920 Speaker 1: podcast even as someone without kids. So thank you very 715 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,840 Speaker 1: much for that. The question that I have, she writes, 716 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:39,800 Speaker 1: is whether or not wanting kids ever made you think 717 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:43,399 Speaker 1: twice about becoming a physician. I have for a long 718 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:47,960 Speaker 1: time considered medical school, but the absolutely intense journey has 719 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 1: deterred me, especially because I want to have a family. 720 00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:53,680 Speaker 1: I know you make it work, but I was just 721 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:56,719 Speaker 1: wondering if having kids with ever something you thought might 722 00:35:56,760 --> 00:36:00,640 Speaker 1: not be a possibility considering your workload or the workload 723 00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 1: required to get to the point where you are now. 724 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,400 Speaker 1: So what do you think. I always knew I wanted kids, 725 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:09,719 Speaker 1: so that was never something that I considered, like, you know, 726 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,239 Speaker 1: moving forward with my career and not having children. But 727 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:15,759 Speaker 1: on the other side of things, I actually really didn't 728 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,360 Speaker 1: consider future children in my plan as I headed towards 729 00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,799 Speaker 1: med school either. And I think, you know, as a 730 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:24,400 Speaker 1: twenty two year old or even in your mid twenties, 731 00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:28,640 Speaker 1: that's appropriate for most people because you can always modify later, 732 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,799 Speaker 1: but embarking on an intense path at that age is 733 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,520 Speaker 1: probably going to open up a lot of options for 734 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:36,680 Speaker 1: you later on. And I was single at the time. 735 00:36:36,719 --> 00:36:38,880 Speaker 1: I was twenty two. I entered med school. I actually 736 00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,600 Speaker 1: entered as an MDPHD. So I had like a planned 737 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:45,200 Speaker 1: seven year road ahead of me, and as time unfolded 738 00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:47,919 Speaker 1: and my goals changed, I changed that. I actually left 739 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:51,279 Speaker 1: the PhD, got a master's and finished med school and then, 740 00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:53,359 Speaker 1: as you know, went down a much more clinical path. 741 00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:56,719 Speaker 1: But you can kind of always downgrade later on. I 742 00:36:56,719 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 1: think it's much harder to kind of intensify your career later, 743 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:05,040 Speaker 1: especially after having said kids. And remember, you know, there's 744 00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:08,640 Speaker 1: a lot of years between college and when you might 745 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:11,719 Speaker 1: want to first start a family. And we started kind 746 00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:13,719 Speaker 1: of at a moderate time. I was thirty one, but 747 00:37:13,719 --> 00:37:15,840 Speaker 1: there are plenty of people who start in their mid thirties, 748 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,640 Speaker 1: which gives you a lot of time to really build 749 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,839 Speaker 1: a lot of career capital before moving forward. So yeah, 750 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:25,840 Speaker 1: I would encourage people, especially younger people, to just go 751 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,600 Speaker 1: for what you want to do, and you can you 752 00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:29,960 Speaker 1: can always you can always modify later, like we have. 753 00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,480 Speaker 1: All Right, Well, this has been best of both worlds. 754 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:37,600 Speaker 1: This episode, we've been talking about what our kids eat, outsourcing, 755 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:41,480 Speaker 1: and our various loves and why Sarah thought it was 756 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:44,200 Speaker 1: just fine to become a physician and a mom as well. 757 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:49,160 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week. 758 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,719 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 759 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:58,120 Speaker 1: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, 760 00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,920 Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 761 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:06,160 Speaker 1: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please 762 00:38:06,239 --> 00:38:08,840 Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and 763 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,040 Speaker 1: life work together.