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Speaker 1: This may sound cliche, but in order to know where

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Speaker 1: you're going, you gotta know where you're being dead ass.

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Speaker 1: I I feel that, and I mean to be honest.

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Speaker 1: Some days I've been looking in the mirror and be like, Girl,

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Speaker 1: were you really from dead as Hey? I'm Cadine and

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Speaker 1: we're the Ellises. You may know us from posting funny

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Speaker 1: videos with our boys and reading each other publicly as

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Speaker 1: a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you need therapy

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Speaker 1: most days. Wow. And one more important thing to mention,

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Speaker 1: we're married. We are. We created this podcast to open

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Speaker 1: dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics, things most

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Speaker 1: folks don't want to talk about through the lens of

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Speaker 1: a millennial married couple. Dead adds is the term that

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Speaker 1: we say every day. So when we say dead ass,

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Speaker 1: we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth, and

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Speaker 1: nothing but the truth. Were about to take Philow talk

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Speaker 1: to our whole new level. Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna take this back to my elementary school days.

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Speaker 1: Shout out Bethlehem Baptist Academy, also known as a Trade

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Speaker 1: with Phield School, East New York, across from girlsh from

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Speaker 1: Park shout out Brooklyn Cozine and Van Sicklin. Um was

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Speaker 1: it sty and Linden Boulevard. So I used to take

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Speaker 1: the school bus when I was in elementary school. You know,

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Speaker 1: um four or five, six years old, I was a

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Speaker 1: bus kid and I used take the school bus from

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Speaker 1: Flatbush to Brownsville or East New York. So you know

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Speaker 1: what that must have been like being on the school

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Speaker 1: bus with a bunch of young kids and the cheese bus. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and for people who don't know, I grew up in

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Speaker 1: the Golden eras of Brooklyn the late early nineties, late eighties,

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Speaker 1: early nineties, so literally it was eighty nine my first

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Speaker 1: time on the cheese bus. I was five years old

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Speaker 1: then two, right, so getting on this cheese bus. And

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Speaker 1: Bethlehem Baptist Academy was in elementary school that transitioned all

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Speaker 1: the way through junior high school, so you were there

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Speaker 1: from nursery all the way through eighth grade. So there

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Speaker 1: was a huge age difference. Like I was on the

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Speaker 1: bus with kids who are ten years my senior. And

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Speaker 1: I remember getting on the bus and all of the

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Speaker 1: older kids we kind of like choose which child, like

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Speaker 1: the girls would choose which child was their son quote

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Speaker 1: unquote little mother hands, you know, so they you know

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Speaker 1: that I was a cute kid, and it was just like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, he's so cute. That's my son, that's

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Speaker 1: my son. And I remember this girl, Kesha. She used

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Speaker 1: to like get me candy and stuff like that. And

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Speaker 1: there was this one kid named round Meo. And another

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Speaker 1: thing people don't understand is that you start to get

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Speaker 1: like then you go through identity issues from elementary school

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Speaker 1: to junior high school as your body is changed and

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Speaker 1: everything's happening, and then you start to figure out who

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Speaker 1: you are in the world through your peers. Your peers

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Speaker 1: kind of tell you who you are. And I remember

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Speaker 1: being on the bus and I think Rommel had a

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Speaker 1: crush on Keisha, so he kept like just he was

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Speaker 1: always around her, and Keisha was just always paying attention

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Speaker 1: to me, and I guess he was kind of just

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Speaker 1: like man, kind of jealous in a way, giving him

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Speaker 1: no play. So he has said to Keisha like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that can't be your son. It can't be your son.

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Speaker 1: Like you black, he not even black. And I remember

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Speaker 1: I was six years old and that hit me because

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Speaker 1: I'm like, why would he telling, why would he say

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Speaker 1: I'm not black, and he's like, yo, look he mad

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Speaker 1: light skin. He's not even black, he mad yellow. He Chinese, Mexican.

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Speaker 1: So back in the day, like you know, well, colorism

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Speaker 1: still exists today. But back in the day, when you

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Speaker 1: was on the cheese bus going from Flatbush to Brownsville,

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Speaker 1: you was on the bus with majority brown skin kids.

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Speaker 1: So it was like when you was just the light

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Speaker 1: skin kid. You know, I used to get picked on.

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Speaker 1: You know, he's a light skin kid, you're liking kids.

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Speaker 1: So I grew up in a time where you played

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Speaker 1: the dozens and you joked on people, and people joked back.

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Speaker 1: I remember going home and realizing how it was affecting me,

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Speaker 1: and I said to my dad, as a dad and

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Speaker 1: my black some six, you know six, you're still impression

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Speaker 1: with kids. And he was like, hell, yeah, you black?

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Speaker 1: Why Like why are you asking me that? And I

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Speaker 1: was telling him about Ramel and everything was going on

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Speaker 1: the bus and him saying I'm not black and making

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Speaker 1: fun of me and that because I was like skinned.

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Speaker 1: So my father used to tell me jokes to tell

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Speaker 1: back on people, right, So he was just like, yo,

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Speaker 1: you gotta always have a joke for everybody. When you

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Speaker 1: walk in the room and have a counter joke. So

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Speaker 1: he was like, what does Ramel look like? So I said,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. He's a brown skinning kid, you know,

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Speaker 1: kind of bigger or whatever. So he said, this is

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Speaker 1: what you tell Ramelo because my pops is big on

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Speaker 1: letting me handle my own conflicts. Like he wasn't gonna

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Speaker 1: get on the bus and presson. No, fourteen year old.

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Speaker 1: He was like, you say to Ramel, you said, Ramel,

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Speaker 1: I in black. I'm telling me I'm not black, and

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Speaker 1: you would be light skinned too if you took showers. Right.

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Speaker 1: So I was practicing the joke. I was practicing the joke,

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Speaker 1: practicing the joke, and finally, because he my father is

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Speaker 1: all about the delivery, you got to say at the

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Speaker 1: right time. You can't be stumbling and fumbling and bumbling

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Speaker 1: on this joke. So I practiced it all day. So

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Speaker 1: I went back and I gave him I told my

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Speaker 1: father joke. He said, cool, I'm gonna give you a

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Speaker 1: follow up joke, right, So I said, boom, Now I

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Speaker 1: have two jokes going into the bus. So the next

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Speaker 1: day going to the bus and you know, day that

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Speaker 1: goes my son, days go my son, and of course

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Speaker 1: Ral comes over, Yeah, that's not your son. You're not black.

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Speaker 1: He's not even black. And I said, shut up right now.

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Speaker 1: Because I was six, so my voices that high. I said,

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Speaker 1: shut up right now, stop telling me I'm not black.

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Speaker 1: You would be light skin too if he took showers.

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Speaker 1: So since I was six, it was like cute to everybody,

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Speaker 1: right like, it was like, oh, he got you right, man,

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Speaker 1: we got your mouse from I was like funny and funny,

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Speaker 1: but where he didn't know because I had to follow

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Speaker 1: out and the one in the two. So then after

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Speaker 1: everybody was laughing, I said, and why you at it?

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Speaker 1: Get abroad for them titties because he was heavy sack

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Speaker 1: and he had a little man boobs. At fourteen, everybody

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Speaker 1: was like oh, So at that point I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like I won. I won

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Speaker 1: that battle. But you know how it affected me for

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Speaker 1: a long time, especially through high school. I always wondered,

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Speaker 1: like why I and my soul light skin? You know?

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Speaker 1: And it did affect me because for a long time

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Speaker 1: from six to seven, I was like, damn, am I

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Speaker 1: really black? Because I just don't look like all the

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Speaker 1: other black people that was on the bus, and even

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Speaker 1: though it was all jokes and it was fine, I

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Speaker 1: was able to get through it. I kind of wanted

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Speaker 1: to know, like, why why am I light skin? You know?

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Speaker 1: If if I'm black and we're all black, and when

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Speaker 1: you look at history of all the you know, prominent

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Speaker 1: black people back in the day, they were brown skin,

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Speaker 1: and it made me wonder why I look like that?

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Speaker 1: And as a child, you want your parents to give

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Speaker 1: you the history of who you are, absolutely and if

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Speaker 1: they can't give you the history, baby, you're gonna search

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Speaker 1: for it. Now we're searching. You want to mission y'all

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Speaker 1: pull up in that monster automobile gangs with a bad

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Speaker 1: bitch that came from Yeah, that Sonka color, Willy Wonka.

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Speaker 1: You could be the king, but watch the queen conquer.

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Speaker 1: First things first, out eat your brain. I'm gonna start

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Speaker 1: rock and gold teeth and things, because that's what a

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Speaker 1: motherfucking monster do. Hey, dressed up a milan, that's a

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Speaker 1: monster do that? Does it? Here? The monsters? You and

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Speaker 1: money is the roster and the monster crew. And in

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Speaker 1: the face with the money, that money ain't I have

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Speaker 1: to control my breathing. Favorite part was coming pull up

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Speaker 1: all up in the bank with the funny face, and

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Speaker 1: I think I noticed because your money ain't we let

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Speaker 1: me get this right, shake yeah, so let me get

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Speaker 1: this straight. I'm the rookie and my features in the

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Speaker 1: show times you pay for no album out my money

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Speaker 1: so tall that my body got a climate mentalist, the

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Speaker 1: climateanta man. She killed that. She smashed that freakingverse, y'all

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Speaker 1: smashed it. Um. So yeah, I hope you were able

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Speaker 1: to sing along. Nikki was good for that. That that

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Speaker 1: like breathing control that you had to have on that gift,

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Speaker 1: that's why. And performing that, Yes, performing that is crazy.

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Speaker 1: Shoutut to Nicki Minaj. Yes, yes, all right. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick break. Let me catch my

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Speaker 1: breath so I can actually finish the podcast, actually talk

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Speaker 1: to y'all. All right, so we let let's get back

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Speaker 1: into the story time and how you were having somewhat

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Speaker 1: of an identity crisis life because it wasn't it wasn't

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Speaker 1: a midlife it wasn't even a quarter life crisis. I

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Speaker 1: was six and I can't even say it's a tenth

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Speaker 1: life crisis because I I hope to live way longer

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Speaker 1: than sixty years old. Absolutely, you will, Yes, I will.

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Speaker 1: I call it a fifth life crisis if I could be.

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Speaker 1: Once I've reached my potential years, you have done everything

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Speaker 1: you're supposed to do. But UM, I remember feeling like

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to know why I looked the way

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Speaker 1: I look who I was. Um, I've always been big

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Speaker 1: on history, even as a child, I just wanted to know.

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Speaker 1: I used to ask my grandparents a lot of questions

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Speaker 1: and ask my parents a lot of questions, and look

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Speaker 1: at photographs of my family and you should just see

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Speaker 1: a mix of people. But I just wanted to know

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Speaker 1: where did they come from? You know. That's that's UM.

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Speaker 1: I can totally relate to that because growing up too,

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Speaker 1: I was also kind of you know, teased in a sense,

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Speaker 1: I guess, not bullied per se, but just tease. You know.

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Speaker 1: Kids will always try to pick out, pick out something

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Speaker 1: that they want to just kind of get on you about.

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Speaker 1: And for me, it was like, um, having really hairy

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Speaker 1: arms and legs, and I mean like not just no

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Speaker 1: regular hairy, like hairy hairy to the point now where

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Speaker 1: it was a thing where when I used to lotion

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Speaker 1: my arms and legs like before gym class because my

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Speaker 1: mom would like pack my gym bag with my uniform

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Speaker 1: and she'll be like, you know, make sure you're not

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Speaker 1: actually and put lotion on. So I put the lotion

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Speaker 1: on my legs. I would have to like strategically like

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Speaker 1: not go back and forth, but like like motion downward,

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Speaker 1: so the hairs could all like la laid down in

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Speaker 1: the same direction, because I look crazy as a girl

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Speaker 1: with mad hairy legs and arms and the hair is

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Speaker 1: going of mad different directions. And then and shout out

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Speaker 1: to my father that eventually allowed me to shave my

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Speaker 1: legs because he totally felt like the hair on my

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Speaker 1: body was like the gift from God that all women

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Speaker 1: should have for the rest of their life. You could

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Speaker 1: love that joint on your wife, but on me, No,

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Speaker 1: that was a big battle. Is like Candian shaved her legs.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, let's like send out, you know, the

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Speaker 1: army and the military. Because leg told me one time,

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Speaker 1: please don't repeat it, please don't um but they used

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Speaker 1: to be called wolverine till teen wolves things like that.

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Speaker 1: So my dad and mom would just explain it like,

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Speaker 1: you know, that's just your Indian side, like you know

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Speaker 1: Indian people in superheroes. So and I'd be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I didn't knowing. Okay, Yeah, you're Indian and you're black.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, cool. That was enough for me. Um.

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Speaker 1: But now we have resources out there like twenty three

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Speaker 1: and me okay, and they're able to give us a

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Speaker 1: report on where you really come from, which is pretty

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Speaker 1: fascinating to me. Part of the reason why we chose

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Speaker 1: to work with twenty three because it's not only about

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Speaker 1: where you come from, why you look the way you look,

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Speaker 1: but they also give you a report for um, some

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Speaker 1: health risks that may be a product of your ancestry,

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Speaker 1: so you can find out. It's not a diagnosis, it's

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Speaker 1: not a cure. It's not going to tell you how

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Speaker 1: to fix anything, but it will tell you because of

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Speaker 1: where you've come from and what you are, these are

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Speaker 1: the risk the associated risk that could be a problem

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Speaker 1: for you based on your blood oh for sure, not

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Speaker 1: blessing based on your genetics. Absolutely, And I feel like

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Speaker 1: you know, as a parent of four boys, it's really

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Speaker 1: important for us to, you know, not only model what

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Speaker 1: it means to be healthy and productive, but to also

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Speaker 1: use the knowledge that we have to teach them how

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Speaker 1: to best take care of themselves. So in this episode,

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Speaker 1: we're going to talk through the genetic risks and some

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Speaker 1: strengths found in the twenty three and me profiles that

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Speaker 1: we were able to get through our reports. And also too,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if you guys listen back to a a

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Speaker 1: couple episodes maybe last season, when we spoke to Dr

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Speaker 1: Brown about health risk that black males face even and

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Speaker 1: how to consider you know, what's the best guy that

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Speaker 1: we can give our boys to live happier, long, longer,

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Speaker 1: healthier lives um than we could have imagined or then

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Speaker 1: our that our parents could have imagined. And a lot

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Speaker 1: of it, I think too, is just feeling like we're

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Speaker 1: predisposed to certain illnesses or predisposed to certain health risks

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Speaker 1: because it runs in the family. That's always the thing,

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Speaker 1: Oh you know, doing that that report when you get

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Speaker 1: to the doctor's office and they want to know the

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Speaker 1: history not just of your health but of your parents

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Speaker 1: and your grandparents. Going down that entire gamut could be

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Speaker 1: very exhausting for some of us because there's so many

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Speaker 1: things that you hear about running in the family. But

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Speaker 1: it makes me really wonder, and I've wondered this for

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Speaker 1: years now, does it really run in the family or

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Speaker 1: are we just products of our environment and the things

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Speaker 1: that we had to endure for years. That's a good point.

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Speaker 1: I mean when we talk about my family, for example,

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Speaker 1: I'll just give you one brief aspect of my report

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Speaker 1: that I found out. But I'm Alzheimer's. You know, I

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Speaker 1: have a genetic trait that makes me at higher risk

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Speaker 1: for dementia. And I look at my grandmother who end

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Speaker 1: up developing dementia and currently now she has to be

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Speaker 1: an assist living home Della Della may She dropped the

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Speaker 1: periause Della may ellis. I love my grandma. She watched

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Speaker 1: me every summer from as young as I can remember

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Speaker 1: until I was about fourteen and started playing organized sports.

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Speaker 1: And then my uncle Charles, who um. But Uncle Charles

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Speaker 1: was like one of the most vibrant men I ever

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Speaker 1: met in my life. Like he just every time you

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Speaker 1: see him, you would say with something. With Charles, you

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Speaker 1: say something. He had a song related to him, always singing,

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Speaker 1: and he was singing, and he was just always smiling

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Speaker 1: and always in a good mood. And he developed early

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Speaker 1: on set Alheimer's in his late fifties, which is a

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Speaker 1: shock to all of us because that's young. That's extremely wrong.

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Speaker 1: But when you think about what you're predisposed to or

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Speaker 1: have a higher risk got genetically, um, you can adjust

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Speaker 1: your lifestyle. And I was speaking to my cousin Kimberly,

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Speaker 1: who was now like his caretaker and helps take care

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Speaker 1: of him a lot. UM. She was saying, had they known,

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Speaker 1: you know all of these things, Um, he could have

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Speaker 1: changed things in his life to either prolong his ability

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Speaker 1: to have a normal life or prevented it altogether from happening.

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Speaker 1: Because he developed legions in his brain and those legions

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Speaker 1: came from stress, lack of sleep, also diet. Right. And

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Speaker 1: the reason why this is important is because we're so

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Speaker 1: used to um teaching our kids traditions and conditioning them

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Speaker 1: to be a certain way, especially our our black man

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Speaker 1: and I say that because we have young we have sons.

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Speaker 1: So when we talked to our boys, like be tough,

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Speaker 1: you know, team, no sleep, you work hard, you do this,

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Speaker 1: you do that, and you really don't take care of yourself.

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Speaker 1: But we spoke to Dr Brown, I remember him saying

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Speaker 1: that one night of bad sleep can be the equivalent

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Speaker 1: of a month of poor diet three months. That's what

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Speaker 1: was most mind blowing like three months of eating bad,

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Speaker 1: which is crazy because I think about how many people.

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Speaker 1: For example, my uncle Charles worked two or three jobs,

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Speaker 1: you know, because he was consistently trying to make ends meet,

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Speaker 1: and he was trying to not only help his family,

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Speaker 1: but he helped so many other people. So when he

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Speaker 1: was a deacon in the church shout out seele the

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Speaker 1: Missionary Baptist Church, and he had any extra time, he

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Speaker 1: was also doing his deacon duties. He was also also

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Speaker 1: a boy Scout leader, so he was always investing his

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Speaker 1: time in his community and trying to take care of

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Speaker 1: his family, and he really didn't take care of himself.

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Speaker 1: And the reason why that is important is because you

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Speaker 1: and I talk about using this opportunity as young parents

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Speaker 1: with young kids to teach our kids how to take

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Speaker 1: care of themselves from young not only in getting enough sleep,

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Speaker 1: but also what you eat. You know, and mental health

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Speaker 1: is important. Physical health is important, and the best way

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Speaker 1: to go about creating a plan for both is knowing

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Speaker 1: where you come from. Like I said in my sound bite,

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Speaker 1: you can't know where you're going unless you know where

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Speaker 1: you're being. You know, what's something you said? It was

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Speaker 1: pretty interesting and it triggered in me the idea when

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Speaker 1: you said that our parents generation, for example, like Uncle

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Speaker 1: Charles generation, they worked so hard, even Nana so hard

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Speaker 1: to ensure that their children were okay and their children's

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Speaker 1: children because you and I were both pretty much raised

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Speaker 1: by parents, but grandparents as well, which is even more

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Speaker 1: special that we have the opportunity to have our parents

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Speaker 1: around for our children now. But we a lot of

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Speaker 1: times put the onus on our parents to say they

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Speaker 1: didn't do this for us, they didn't equipped us to

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Speaker 1: be like this. They dropped the ball with that. We

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Speaker 1: tend to be kind of hard on our parents, but

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Speaker 1: we don't realize that they were really doing everything within

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Speaker 1: their power to make sure that we would be okay,

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Speaker 1: to provide for us, and that in turn created environments

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Speaker 1: for lack of sleep, um for stress. They were under

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Speaker 1: a lot of stress just trying to be able to

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Speaker 1: make things work for us. I think about my parents

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Speaker 1: who came from Jamaica and St. Vincent at young ages

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Speaker 1: with just a suitcase and a dream, you know. So

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Speaker 1: the lack of sleep, for example, that I saw my

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Speaker 1: mother have to endure because she was just trying to

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Speaker 1: give us everything. We kind of have to give them

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Speaker 1: a little bit of grace in that situation. Give them

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Speaker 1: a little bit of grace, then all the graces. Honestly

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Speaker 1: feel like millennials and gen z uh, it's a gen

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Speaker 1: z Ears because we're millennials. Millennials and gen z Ears.

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Speaker 1: We we do a great job of pointing out all

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Speaker 1: of our parents flaws, right, Like, I think that's all

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Speaker 1: the trauma. Everything is generation trauma. And even we've talked

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Speaker 1: about generational trauma. But what you don't realize is that

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Speaker 1: you don't know what you don't know. There was no

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Speaker 1: twenty three and me back then. Technology didn't exist back then,

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Speaker 1: the science wasn't as good back then, so our parents

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Speaker 1: weren't given the tools we have to be parents now.

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Speaker 1: And a lot of times we always talked down about

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Speaker 1: what our parents did wrong, as opposed to saying, well,

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Speaker 1: you know what I survived, I'm here. They had to

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Speaker 1: be doing something right. You know, it's not about what

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Speaker 1: you did wrong. But it's like, now that we know better,

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Speaker 1: let's do better. And I agree with you on that,

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Speaker 1: like our parents did not, like, for example, my father

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Speaker 1: when it comes to history, Yeah, he spoke to his

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Speaker 1: mom and his dad and he spoke his grandmother and

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Speaker 1: his grandfather. But now I'm able to get extensive history.

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Speaker 1: For example, on the report, I found out that this

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Speaker 1: helped me with my um my identity crisis. But um,

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Speaker 1: I found out that I'm eighty I think sub Saharan African.

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Speaker 1: And so first thing I did when I found this out,

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Speaker 1: and I think I'm of that eight percent, I'm sixty

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Speaker 1: percent Nigerian. So I called my brother and I said,

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Speaker 1: guess what, man, I'm not Gian too. And the first

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Speaker 1: thing you said was all my brother, we're doing this

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Speaker 1: for the green anyway. But it was like to find

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Speaker 1: out to find out that, Um, I'm eighty percent Subsaharan African.

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Speaker 1: Plus knowing my family's history right then I found out

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Speaker 1: I'm seventeen percent or eighteen percent European, and I think

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Speaker 1: two percent or less than two percentum indigenous, which is

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Speaker 1: kind of maybe a flip for what you thought. You

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Speaker 1: probably thought you were more and I thought I was

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Speaker 1: more indigenous because of my family's history. My family's history, um,

381
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Speaker 1: from my mom's side came from reservations and they walked

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Speaker 1: the trail of tears from Virginia all the way when

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Speaker 1: Western experiension happened after Africa. So we found out going back,

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Speaker 1: going back and doing history. Me and my sister started

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Speaker 1: to put things together and we did it only three

386
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Speaker 1: and me, but we also just spoke to a lot

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Speaker 1: of people in the family to find out who was who.

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Speaker 1: And because of our complexion, we thought that we were

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Speaker 1: more Indigenous than African, and we found out that we're

390
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:16,760
Speaker 1: more African and more white, which means our ancestors were

391
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Speaker 1: part of the enslaved people that walk the trailer tears

392
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Speaker 1: as a part of the cargo that the indigenous people

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Speaker 1: received when they were forced to move out of the

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Speaker 1: reservations in Virginia. So you know, it helps you not

395
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Speaker 1: only history, so it also helps you find out not

396
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Speaker 1: not who you are, but exactly the place you played

397
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Speaker 1: in that social structure that walked. So, yes, we walked

398
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Speaker 1: the trailer tears, but my family walked the trailer tears

399
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Speaker 1: as enslaved people. They didn't walk the trailer tears as

400
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Speaker 1: indigenous people. That you know that that went out west

401
00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,840
Speaker 1: so and went down south. But that also made me

402
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 1: feel super proud. Right, and this is a different take

403
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,840
Speaker 1: than other people take on slavery, but this is to

404
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:01,320
Speaker 1: take I take on it. Right, If my family was

405
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 1: able as enslaved people to exist and walk thousands of

406
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Speaker 1: miles and survive and be able to create family structure

407
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,960
Speaker 1: that is able to create my grandparents and then my

408
00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:14,399
Speaker 1: parents and then me, that has had to be some

409
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,119
Speaker 1: strong people, and that has to be something you have

410
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Speaker 1: to be proud of what I'm doing it. I mean, exactly,

411
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Speaker 1: when did you say there's something that you can't do.

412
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Speaker 1: It's just like bro right, My people were equipped to

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Speaker 1: do this year. Absolutely absolutely. But it also explains my complexion. Right,

414
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Speaker 1: Why do I look fairer skinned because I'm closer to

415
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Speaker 1: European and African And I thought I was more fair

416
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Speaker 1: skinned because I was more indigenous because my families walked.

417
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Speaker 1: My family walked the Tale of Tears and Trailer of Tears,

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Speaker 1: No excuse me. My sister went as far back is

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Speaker 1: to research names associated with my family, and what we

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Speaker 1: found out was we thought the Jackson's that's my which

421
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,840
Speaker 1: is funny because my son's name is Jackson. But we

422
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Speaker 1: thought that Jackson's were the indigenous people who took the land,

423
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 1: took the name, and continued to grow westward with that

424
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 1: name Jackson. But after doing research, we found out that

425
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 1: Jackson was the name given to the enslaved people when

426
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Speaker 1: they were distributed to the indigenous people. M So we

427
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,359
Speaker 1: really found out the details that were associated with our

428
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:23,520
Speaker 1: family and was able to say, ah, so these this

429
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:27,960
Speaker 1: is where we stood in that that is so interesting.

430
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:32,960
Speaker 1: Well listen, y'all, Usually we do an explanation of karaoke,

431
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 1: you know, so you understand why the song had anything

432
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 1: to do with the episode. Right, So we're talking twenty

433
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,800
Speaker 1: three and me wereports, we're talking about health. What does

434
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 1: monster have to even do with this? Huh? So let

435
00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 1: me give you all a little insight. So after teaming

436
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 1: up with twenty three and me and we were able

437
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 1: to not only pinpoint the location of our and Stress

438
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,840
Speaker 1: and Street, but we're able to see all the genetics

439
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 1: and stuff. The location was interesting for me because, like

440
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:08,359
Speaker 1: I said earlier, I was just always told, oh, you know,

441
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 1: you're Jamaican and Indian, you're black and Indian. You look

442
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 1: at my mom and dad's a black woman, he looks

443
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 1: like he could be Indian. Great, So I guess we

444
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 1: weren't too far off because according to my reports, let

445
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 1: me pull it up, drumroll please, but that's my drum

446
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,159
Speaker 1: because if I clap, trouble was gonna be mad. She

447
00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 1: always tell me, don't clap into MinC. So I'm not

448
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:32,320
Speaker 1: it's gonna be my druma already. So it says that

449
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:37,200
Speaker 1: I am fifty point seven Central and South Asian, which

450
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 1: could be Indian, however it is split between Southern Indian

451
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:46,520
Speaker 1: and Sri Lankan and Northern Indian and Pakistani. So I'm

452
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:50,440
Speaker 1: with it that came from Sri Lanka. Yeah, that's me.

453
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:56,040
Speaker 1: Nicky was talking about me, y'all end this episode? Oh no, no, no, no, no,

454
00:22:56,119 --> 00:22:58,480
Speaker 1: no no, because there's another part too. It tells you

455
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 1: where your family were unlikely during the slave trade landed.

456
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,320
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, So let me give you all the rest

457
00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 1: of the tea. First about who I am. Allowed me

458
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 1: to reintroduce you, y'all to be um. Yeah, so that's um,

459
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:14,159
Speaker 1: Southern and Northern Indian and Sri Lankan in Pakistani. So

460
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,960
Speaker 1: that's the region. And then I am forty one point

461
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 1: seven percent sub Saharan African, particularly West African, with majority

462
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:29,399
Speaker 1: of that being Ganaian Liberian or Sierra Leonian Sierra Leonion.

463
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,440
Speaker 1: So isn't that pretty cool? Yes, my old manager at Max.

464
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,119
Speaker 1: She's from Sierra Leone, so I want to call her

465
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:40,920
Speaker 1: up and be like girl girl. He's also so yeah,

466
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:43,320
Speaker 1: so forty one percent or at forty one point seven percent,

467
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 1: and then the remainder, which is another um seven percent

468
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 1: is European, so it's actually a very small percentage of

469
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 1: British and Irish as the majority under the European scope

470
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:59,640
Speaker 1: for me, so now the China who I really am? Yeah,

471
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 1: it was really interesting for me to see. So just

472
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 1: going under the umbrella of saying, oh, hey, I'm Indian,

473
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 1: um not quite, I mean, it gives me a little

474
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 1: bit more specific. And then, like you said, the great

475
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 1: thing about this twenty three and report is that it

476
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,400
Speaker 1: also gives you the region that your family was most

477
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 1: likely dropped off at, and very very very accurate. It

478
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: told me Jamaica, particularly Clarinet. Part of me was like,

479
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 1: have y'all been like being through my window? Have y'all

480
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 1: been going through my stuff? You know, people get skeptical

481
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 1: about these things. I might listening. If you have an iPhone,

482
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:35,160
Speaker 1: they have all your joint already anyway, so you don't

483
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 1: have that um. But but yeah, so it made me

484
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: think like, wow, you know they're very specific about where

485
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:45,080
Speaker 1: we ended up. They put Jamaica down um St. Vincent

486
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,360
Speaker 1: and the Grenadines, which is where my dad is from.

487
00:24:47,800 --> 00:24:50,439
Speaker 1: And then um as well, we saw a little bit

488
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 1: of Trinidad and your dad said, you have family and Trinidad,

489
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,200
Speaker 1: NICKI minaj just my family and trinking at she wrote

490
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,399
Speaker 1: a look about me like maybe she knew. That's why

491
00:24:58,440 --> 00:24:59,959
Speaker 1: she kid said with a bad bitch. They came from

492
00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,320
Speaker 1: she Lanka. Maybe she knew too. Listen, Okay, maybe her

493
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:08,639
Speaker 1: that's that is a fact, Nikki. Let me know because

494
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:12,520
Speaker 1: we can do let's let's cross let's cross reference these results,

495
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,159
Speaker 1: you know. Um. But it's very interesting too because when

496
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: I think about it, there's so many different like, for example,

497
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 1: in St. Vincent alone, if you go to the island,

498
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 1: there are a ton of different people in St. Vincent.

499
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 1: It's not just people who are from as we know

500
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 1: now South Asia, but there are blacks, they're whites there.

501
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 1: Same is to be said for Jamaica. Jamaica has a

502
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,480
Speaker 1: lot of Asian people, not just Indian Asian, but also

503
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 1: Asian as in maybe from China. Um. So it's very

504
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: very interesting to see where exactly you might have landed

505
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: in this world. It makes you feel like, wow, you

506
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 1: may potentially have a greater connection to a certain area

507
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 1: and it explains why. So um yeah, pretty pretty cool

508
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: results here. Um let's dive into more of the health now,

509
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: because in the report they give you an extensive health

510
00:25:57,920 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 1: report to let you kind of know what you may

511
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,159
Speaker 1: be predisposed to because of genetics. It can also be

512
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:08,040
Speaker 1: I'm thinking because of geographic location. Okay, what were the

513
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 1: available resources to you? What was the the nurture nature

514
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,959
Speaker 1: side of things? And then it also makes me think

515
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:19,760
Speaker 1: about having to survive by any means necessary. So it

516
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 1: required that our family, our ancestors be able to care

517
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:28,200
Speaker 1: for themselves or feed their families by eating certain things

518
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 1: that then induce certain illnesses and mailments. That's more of

519
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 1: the nurture side, right, So let's dive in. You spoke

520
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:40,199
Speaker 1: about Alzheimer's already, um from your parents uh and your

521
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 1: grandparents sides. And then it looks like both of us

522
00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:48,680
Speaker 1: after comparing the results, have hypertension that runs on on

523
00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 1: both sides. So we both have the genetic trait that

524
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,680
Speaker 1: makes us at higher risk for high pertension, and black

525
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 1: people already in general have a higher risk for that

526
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 1: UM compared to white counterparts for high blood pressure, and

527
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 1: there it's likely to have it under control, so we

528
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:05,440
Speaker 1: can talk about they're less likely to have it under control.

529
00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:09,160
Speaker 1: And this this goes to what we also spoke spoke

530
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:14,200
Speaker 1: about with Dr Brown was African Americans and Caribbean Americans

531
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 1: disapproval and distrust in the medical system and the health

532
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: care system now because of things like the Tuskegee experiment.

533
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 1: There's been and that's not the only one, but there's

534
00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:27,199
Speaker 1: been that's the most popular one that people talk about. UM.

535
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 1: There has been a huge distrust that has grown between

536
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 1: the Black community and the health care community because of

537
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 1: false tests and think they were we were given UM

538
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,120
Speaker 1: diseases like syphilis to figure out if they can find

539
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 1: cures and see what the long term effects would be.

540
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 1: So for a long time, black people never felt comfortable

541
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:49,680
Speaker 1: going to their healthcare providers. So and as a Black man,

542
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 1: I know, you know, I lost I have a buddy

543
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:57,400
Speaker 1: who lost his dad. We're at that age now where

544
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 1: our dadifties sixty years old with him seven years old,

545
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,720
Speaker 1: like your dad just recently turned seventy, and my buddy

546
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:05,320
Speaker 1: lost his dad. And I was just like, man, you know,

547
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 1: how did you lose your dad? They always have blood

548
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 1: pressure issues and I was like, oh, it was it

549
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 1: was issues. Said no, it wasn't really an issue. He

550
00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:13,520
Speaker 1: just didn't want to take his medication. And I was

551
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,879
Speaker 1: just like why why wouldn't he take his medication? And

552
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,480
Speaker 1: he was like, well, the blood pressure medication UM gave

553
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:23,080
Speaker 1: him erectile dysfunction because the blood. You know, the penis

554
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,719
Speaker 1: is a muscle, but it requires blood to become erect

555
00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,399
Speaker 1: and when the blood flow becomes an issue, it causes

556
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 1: an issue with erectile dysfunction. And he didn't want to

557
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,199
Speaker 1: have that issue. So he's just like, oh, I can

558
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,560
Speaker 1: I can manage this on my own. Went to sleep

559
00:28:36,600 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: one night and just never woke up in the morning.

560
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,160
Speaker 1: Because blood pressure is like a silent killer. You feel

561
00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 1: like you're fine and then boom, you know, something happens.

562
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 1: And there are always socio economic reasons why when you

563
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:51,560
Speaker 1: reason like that, it's just like black you know, African

564
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: Americans are are believed to be at a higher risk

565
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 1: and less likely to have it under control. They say

566
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,440
Speaker 1: it as if we just don't have stuff under control.

567
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 1: They don't speak about the unmitigating factors like UM, the

568
00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 1: fact that we have healthcare issues, the fact that we

569
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 1: can't afford healthcare at a higher rate than our white counterparts,

570
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:14,360
Speaker 1: because socio economically, we majority of black people in America

571
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 1: live below the poverty law. For sure. None of that

572
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 1: is really unpacked. It's just kind of an umbrella term

573
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: that we use for black just at a higher risk.

574
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: But how do I high risk? Watch? Why? And is

575
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 1: it nature verse nurture? Absolutely no, one of these things

576
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 1: will help us make better decisions for our children and

577
00:29:30,280 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 1: our future. That's why I keep saying you can't know

578
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,480
Speaker 1: where you're going to, you know where you've been. Think

579
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 1: about diet when you say um. African Americans, for example,

580
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:40,280
Speaker 1: are believed to carry a gene that makes us more

581
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 1: salt sensitive. If that's true or not, we don't know.

582
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 1: But what tends to happen. For example, way way back

583
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:50,480
Speaker 1: in the day, during the enslaved times, Right, you're given

584
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 1: the scraps to eat, right, they'll take they'll they'll be

585
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,560
Speaker 1: the pig, but they'll give you. They'll take the pork shoulders,

586
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 1: they'll take the pork roast to take the healthier health.

587
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 1: Meteor meets yeah, and it gave me defeat the tail

588
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 1: the tail, what else the tongue, the tongue the intestines,

589
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:16,040
Speaker 1: which chitterlings. And it's a delicacy, a very expensive delicacy.

590
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:20,760
Speaker 1: Now listen, you know, I remember the first time tricked

591
00:30:20,840 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 1: me into trying chitterlings. Okay, I'm walking into your house

592
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: and I was like, yo, I was like, what is

593
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 1: this like hot arm pitt in here? I'm like, what

594
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 1: is happening? So I was like, all right, it did

595
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 1: smell like hot arm? What is going on in here?

596
00:30:37,320 --> 00:30:40,240
Speaker 1: So your father was over there, you know, making this

597
00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 1: pot of something. He didn't tell me what it was,

598
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 1: and me being of cribbing descent, I don't think I've

599
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 1: ever had chilings like we've had tripe. I've never actually

600
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,960
Speaker 1: had it, but my family will carry some tripe whenever

601
00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: they're ready, you know. So I remember, tripe is the

602
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: intestine of the cow. So it's the same as exactly

603
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 1: exactly like least smelled like ass too when my grandmother

604
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 1: was making the tripe. But I definitely felt like I

605
00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 1: walked in the house and it smelled like hot ass

606
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 1: and armpit. So I was like, damn. So your father

607
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: was just like, oh man, try this, like you know,

608
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: he was excited about. You know, your father get excited

609
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 1: about and if he saying it tastes good, I'm gonna

610
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 1: trust that it tastes good because he is definitely a

611
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: good judge of food. Right, So I remember that. And

612
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 1: he took out the hot so seeing the fre okay,

613
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,440
Speaker 1: so that's like the staple in your household. So he's

614
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 1: lathering on the hot So he's like, you're like hot souce,

615
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 1: You're like spice, right. I'm like yeah, So he's lading

616
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 1: on that hot sauce and I'm like it, give me

617
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: more hot sauce, because you know I love hot you

618
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,560
Speaker 1: love spicy food. Man. When I took a bite of

619
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 1: that me trying to be polite, you ain't you ain't

620
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 1: this This is interesting taste, the texture is quite you know,

621
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 1: it's lot gummy. What exactly is this? And he was like, man,

622
00:31:56,800 --> 00:31:59,680
Speaker 1: this is I was like, oh, I gotta can't believe

623
00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 1: it does a said. First of all, my adventist family

624
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 1: barely eats pork. Okay, my mom was at all. My

625
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:08,840
Speaker 1: my dad, you know, he'll he'll dip in, dab in

626
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 1: a little pork. But curry, I love a jump. You

627
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 1: got someone that juke pool, So you know, definitely says like,

628
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm like what if I what if

629
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 1: it was against my religion to eat these shipless? It

630
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 1: should be against anybody's religion to eat them chitless. So

631
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: in that moment, I'm just saying that to say, you

632
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 1: get the pig intestines, you put everything you need to

633
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: put in it, whether it's the salt, where there's the sugar,

634
00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: whether it's the butter. You have to make it taste good.

635
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 1: And if you're feeding your family the scraps, you had

636
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: to find a way to make a taste of slipment.

637
00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 1: Excess salt, excess sugar, butter, blard, gravy, all of those things.

638
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: Do we not think that that's eventually going to affect

639
00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,680
Speaker 1: that becomes a culturing like a blood pressure. Yes, yes,

640
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 1: eating all of that salt and sugar and then coupling

641
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: it with rice, Oh my god, because running onto diabetes right,

642
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,479
Speaker 1: my perfect, perfect perfect se to diabetes and give them

643
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 1: a little factor pick if you don't mind, and then

644
00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,560
Speaker 1: you can elaborate on it. But type two diabetes has

645
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:13,240
Speaker 1: a stronger link to family history and lineage than type one,

646
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:16,680
Speaker 1: and studies of twins shown that the genetics play a

647
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,760
Speaker 1: very strong role in the development of type two diabetes,

648
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:23,200
Speaker 1: and race can also play a role in this as well. Absolutely,

649
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: but type two diabetes is completely preventable through your lifestyle choices.

650
00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 1: So that's why I'm glad. I'm actually happy you read

651
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:35,760
Speaker 1: that first, because if you think about lifestyle choices, think

652
00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: about our cultures. You were both people of color, but

653
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:45,000
Speaker 1: we both have mixes of different colors in there, right,

654
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 1: But one thing is consistent. All of those different colors

655
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:51,960
Speaker 1: have gone through hardships because of colonialism, and part of

656
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 1: colonialism meant that their people were marginalized. And when you're marginalized,

657
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 1: you have to find ways to survive. So you just

658
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: talked about all the scribe she were given, right given

659
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: the pigs out, the pigtail, the pig hoofs um, the

660
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 1: stomach lining, and the intestines. That's not a lot of

661
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: the pig. But you still have to feed a family.

662
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:13,080
Speaker 1: So how do you make this meal good enough for

663
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,040
Speaker 1: the family. You take all that stuff up, you make

664
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: a gravy and you sprinkle it over large tubs of

665
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,840
Speaker 1: rice so that these people can still work and and

666
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 1: and that becomes the culture. For example, think about the

667
00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:30,440
Speaker 1: movie soul food. Think about how how ironic soul food is.

668
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:35,000
Speaker 1: Every Sunday, this family got together to fix this food

669
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:38,240
Speaker 1: that was filled with saturated facts and sugars and butters

670
00:34:38,400 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 1: and oils and salts and starts. Big Mama, who was

671
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 1: the epicenter of the family, ends up dying from diabetes

672
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 1: caused by eating this food. And you know how they

673
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 1: celebrated her death getting together to eat more food. Because

674
00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,279
Speaker 1: that's the culture. Right. So when you say African Americans

675
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,479
Speaker 1: and race or Caribbean Americans are more susceptible to type

676
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:03,320
Speaker 1: two diabet these because of culture, that's true. Because we

677
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:07,280
Speaker 1: make lifestyle choices based on tradition, absolutely, and if tradition

678
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: means that you're slowly killing yourself, some of us are

679
00:35:11,080 --> 00:35:13,839
Speaker 1: not aware enough to realize that that's exactly what we're

680
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 1: existing in. We're existing in a tradition that's slowly killing us.

681
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,120
Speaker 1: And that seguates us to talking into children and how

682
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 1: using this twenty three and me report helped us make

683
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 1: greater lifestyle choices for our sons. For example, telling the

684
00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 1: story about the porridge. Oh yeah, right, right right, So

685
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:33,359
Speaker 1: I actually have two stories related to like diabetes. If

686
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:34,800
Speaker 1: you want to say, it could be a segue to it.

687
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 1: The porridge with some well, porridge is something that is

688
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 1: very big in a Criman household. You can use different

689
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: types of porrighes, planting porridges, cormeal, powrishes, how many corn

690
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 1: porridge um And that's something that my grandmother gave us

691
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,799
Speaker 1: as babies. My mom and her siblings had that as

692
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 1: they were growing up, and it's a staple. You go

693
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 1: to any Caremian restaurant, you're gonna definitely find cornmeal, powdge

694
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 1: of some sort of porridge as a breakfast item. But

695
00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:01,719
Speaker 1: when you really dissect what it is, it's corn, which

696
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,160
Speaker 1: is a starch. Okay, which I learned later on in life.

697
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 1: I always thought corner was a vegetable and it was

698
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: my favorite. It ain't a vegetable. It's a starch. So

699
00:36:08,640 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 1: you're having corn that's dried up and mild, and then

700
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 1: you proceed to boil it in water with milk, and

701
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 1: then you have you know, you're cinnamon. You're not saying

702
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,360
Speaker 1: things to make it taste good, and then you have

703
00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 1: to add the sugar, of course, and you're just adding

704
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 1: a regular sugar. It is the condensed milk, right, You

705
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:27,880
Speaker 1: have to say it like that, the condensed right, the

706
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:33,239
Speaker 1: condensed milk or condensed milk, and that is just even

707
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 1: more so thick sugar. It's just all sugar. It's literally

708
00:36:37,440 --> 00:36:40,399
Speaker 1: all sugar between the condensed milk and the corn. You're

709
00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: eating sugar for breakfast. And I remember as a kid

710
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 1: smelling it in the air when my mom would be

711
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,320
Speaker 1: making it, and I would start to instantly like cry

712
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 1: because I hated parridge. It was a texture thing for me.

713
00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:53,800
Speaker 1: But when it came to my children, even my grandmother,

714
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,000
Speaker 1: you know, bless her heart, love where she comes and

715
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,680
Speaker 1: stays with us, you know, pre covid like every you know,

716
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,040
Speaker 1: holiday season, and she would just recently here with us

717
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,960
Speaker 1: for a month and she was like, wait, you don't

718
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 1: start the baby pant calm in porridge yet. And I

719
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,040
Speaker 1: was kind of like, well, yeah, Grandma, you know, I

720
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:12,320
Speaker 1: just you know, I'm gonna I'm gonna just give it

721
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:14,439
Speaker 1: to him in moderation because I just don't want because

722
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,000
Speaker 1: even when I gave it to the kids growing up,

723
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 1: like I never put too much sugar in it, but

724
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 1: it really is just a filler. So when I said

725
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:22,319
Speaker 1: to her, you know, Grandma, nowadays we don't really give

726
00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: too much porridge and cereal and all that in the milk.

727
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 1: So you know, her and my mom look at each

728
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 1: other and yeah, when no young people, then you like

729
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:37,439
Speaker 1: to reinvent the wheel, you know, like after after after

730
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,880
Speaker 1: your rears pan calm in porridge or you mean or

731
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,200
Speaker 1: you mean And I'm just like, well, Grandma, you know

732
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: it's just a filler now, so why not give the

733
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:47,240
Speaker 1: baby like actual like protein or like vegetables for breakfast

734
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 1: versus just giving filler stuff. And she said, and that's

735
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 1: why the baby not sleep at night. You must put

736
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,759
Speaker 1: look a porridgeing in battle and then we'll drink it

737
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 1: and sleep on a tired look Pine, you look ponder

738
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,479
Speaker 1: out and I'm like, I know, Grandma, I know we're tired,

739
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,040
Speaker 1: but we're just not going to give him like a

740
00:38:04,120 --> 00:38:06,279
Speaker 1: filler just to make him sleep longer, you know what

741
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:09,880
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So that and then think about this. You

742
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,800
Speaker 1: go to your favorite Caribbean restaurant right look forward to

743
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,839
Speaker 1: going home so we can go Yard Style or any

744
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:19,160
Speaker 1: other restaurant that we enjoyed. Yeah, Golden Crusts flat Lands

745
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,759
Speaker 1: between A hundred and hundred for please go support yard

746
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:26,560
Speaker 1: still in Brooklyn. They make the best, the best oxtail

747
00:38:26,600 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 1: and some really good steed chicken and some the chicken

748
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 1: soup slap. But anyway, when you go there, my only

749
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:37,720
Speaker 1: gripe with with them. In any restaurants of Caribbean flavor,

750
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 1: you're gonna ask for a large oxtail, for example, what

751
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,880
Speaker 1: kind of rice? Rice and peace. Well, first before you

752
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,040
Speaker 1: even get there, you have to ask do you have oxtail?

753
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:51,719
Speaker 1: Because you're liable to order it? And them said what, right,

754
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 1: So if them you already arrest and peas and your oxtail,

755
00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 1: and you literally get rice and peace with a side

756
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 1: of oxtail and maybe either a steam vege or a salad. Right,

757
00:39:05,680 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 1: and then you be piste because you just paid almost

758
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 1: thirty dollars for a large oxtail and there's about four

759
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,480
Speaker 1: pieces in it. But right, there's two things. Number one,

760
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,080
Speaker 1: it's not just the business structure. When your mom makes

761
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:17,839
Speaker 1: my play or when she used to make my place,

762
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:19,759
Speaker 1: she used to pound my plate up with rice too,

763
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 1: and then put like a small piece of chicken. And

764
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 1: I used to be like, yo, this is not gonna

765
00:39:24,239 --> 00:39:26,840
Speaker 1: work for me. It's not that's just the culture is

766
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 1: just rice, rice, rice, mad rice on it. And but

767
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 1: what happened though, the rice slap right, because we're not

768
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: just making any regular old rice is rice with the

769
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,399
Speaker 1: coconut milk. Coconut milk. You know, you put a piece

770
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 1: of skelton in it, you put some time, you put

771
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:40,360
Speaker 1: some season, and put some piece and that in itself

772
00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,480
Speaker 1: is in me. Like I've had moments where I'm like,

773
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 1: just give me the rice and pieces with some gravy

774
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,399
Speaker 1: and I'm going to go, you know, extra graper pond

775
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:51,680
Speaker 1: the rice. So all of that essentially turns into sugar.

776
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,600
Speaker 1: It's the starch, and that is in turn why I

777
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,400
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of people of Caribbean descent have

778
00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 1: sugar as the same thing down. So, yeah, we have,

779
00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: and that's why you have diabetes because of that. And

780
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,799
Speaker 1: that's just the thing that we've learned over the years.

781
00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 1: If it's not going to be rising ps, its ground provision. Yeah,

782
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:14,000
Speaker 1: I mean those things, those are all starch rooted and

783
00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,480
Speaker 1: they all convert to sugar. And that's what what Canina

784
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,120
Speaker 1: and I talked about, the nature versus nurture. That's more

785
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 1: of nurture. Now, the next thing I want to talk

786
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:25,640
Speaker 1: about is a little bit more nature sickle cell um.

787
00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 1: Codeine has the sickle cell trade, so we necessarily didn't

788
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 1: need the twenty three and Me report to tell us this.

789
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 1: But with the reason why we bring this up is

790
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,080
Speaker 1: because in the twenty three and me report, you'll find

791
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:39,320
Speaker 1: out about that because of your genetics. And it was

792
00:40:39,400 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 1: interesting enough for us because when Codeine got pregnant with Jackson,

793
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 1: she was running through the full gamut of everything she

794
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 1: needed to prepare for the pregnancy, and that's when we

795
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,800
Speaker 1: found out that Codeine has the sickle cell trade. So

796
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 1: then they asked me immediately, Devout, do you have the

797
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 1: sickle cell trade? And I had never asked my entire life.

798
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,359
Speaker 1: At this point, I'm twenty about to be seven years old.

799
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,800
Speaker 1: I've never asked my physician if I had the sickle

800
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:06,600
Speaker 1: cell trade even a thing to hear even like, of

801
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:09,080
Speaker 1: course you hear of the disease sickle cell anemia, but

802
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,320
Speaker 1: you never even I never even heard of the trade

803
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,359
Speaker 1: or potentially caring. My mom knew. My mom knew because

804
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:16,000
Speaker 1: the minute I asked, she said, no, you don't have

805
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:19,400
Speaker 1: the trade. And I said, and I guess you know

806
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 1: now now when I think about the reason why she

807
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,120
Speaker 1: never told me I had the trades because since I

808
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:25,800
Speaker 1: didn't have the trade, I didn't have anything to worry about.

809
00:41:26,320 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 1: But if I did have the trade, I would have

810
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:31,799
Speaker 1: had to say to you, I have the trade. Because

811
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:33,640
Speaker 1: if I have the sickle cell trade and Gadeen has

812
00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:36,359
Speaker 1: the sickle cell trade, it's more than likely that one

813
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:38,399
Speaker 1: of our children, all of our children could be born

814
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 1: with sickle cell anemia right blown. And it's important for

815
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 1: you to know these I don't want to call them

816
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 1: health risk, but these genetic traits because when you're dating someone,

817
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:49,880
Speaker 1: you wouldn't want to know, Hey, if we decided to

818
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:53,000
Speaker 1: have children, our children could be born with an immune

819
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 1: deficiency because we both have the trade. And we found

820
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,200
Speaker 1: out that three of our four boys have the trade.

821
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:00,879
Speaker 1: Jackson is the only one who doesn't have the trade,

822
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,919
Speaker 1: but Cairo, kaz In, Dakota all have the ciicle trade.

823
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: Exactly's something we have to make sure that they know. Um,

824
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 1: when you think about it, When you think about it too,

825
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 1: when you are pregnant, it's like your body goes under

826
00:42:11,160 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 1: this mini stress test. So they want to test everything.

827
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,640
Speaker 1: So anything that potentially may show up in your life

828
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,200
Speaker 1: or in your history is going to show up while

829
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,960
Speaker 1: you're pregnant. So in that I was able to find

830
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,400
Speaker 1: out I had the sickle cell trade. And it was

831
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:24,640
Speaker 1: the thing where I even called my brother and my

832
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,919
Speaker 1: sister was like, hey, y'all, I had the trade. Turns

833
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 1: out my mom had it as well or has it

834
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 1: as well too, so she's the one who passed it

835
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,400
Speaker 1: on to me, and then in turn I passed it

836
00:42:32,440 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 1: on to my children. So when you're looking at certain

837
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 1: things like that, that's, you know, part of history or

838
00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:40,520
Speaker 1: part of your genetics. Um. Not only is it important

839
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 1: for you to know for yourself, but you need to

840
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,600
Speaker 1: know for your children. Like we said, we're gonna say

841
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:48,359
Speaker 1: something else after after that, I was saying, um, as

842
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:53,280
Speaker 1: it pertains to having children when you got the COVID.

843
00:42:53,320 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 1: When we all got COVID the same time around my

844
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,360
Speaker 1: birthday last year, that's when we started to see some

845
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 1: differences in how people with sickle cell anemia or the

846
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:06,680
Speaker 1: trade respond to COVID because their blood coagulates differently and

847
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:09,960
Speaker 1: people will get developing blood clots and some developing strokes.

848
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 1: And the reason why this is important is because if

849
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,400
Speaker 1: you have a young child, male or female who's an

850
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 1: athlete and they have sickle cell anemia, or they may

851
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,880
Speaker 1: have the sickle cell anemia trade and may have suffered

852
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 1: from COVID. That could be a reason why they may

853
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 1: have difficulty breathing or working out after they are done

854
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 1: with COVID. For example, So the young man from Florida,

855
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,440
Speaker 1: I can't remember his name who passed out. I think

856
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,880
Speaker 1: it was two weeks after being done with COVID. He

857
00:43:34,880 --> 00:43:36,880
Speaker 1: went through COVID protocols, everything was good, and this was

858
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 1: he went out on his senior year first game, was

859
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 1: walking out in the court after the time out and

860
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:46,320
Speaker 1: just passed out And they didn't know what was happening

861
00:43:46,400 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 1: until they took all the blood tests. Now they didn't

862
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:51,280
Speaker 1: reveal because it's his family. What did the blood tests reveal?

863
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:54,240
Speaker 1: But over time we found out that people with sickle

864
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 1: cell anemia or the trade are hospitalized two to one

865
00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,480
Speaker 1: after having COVID than people who don't. So when you

866
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:02,640
Speaker 1: have children, it really makes you wonder. The more I

867
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:06,279
Speaker 1: know about my family, can I protect my children even

868
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 1: with sports, even if it doesn't have anything to do

869
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:11,239
Speaker 1: with COVID. I should make sure they eat differently if

870
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: their bodies require something different. Remember um David Price's dad,

871
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,040
Speaker 1: God rest his soul. He passed away from cancer. But

872
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 1: David Price's dad used to tell David all the time, man,

873
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:23,359
Speaker 1: you guys, he's Jamaican to you guys, used to eat

874
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,520
Speaker 1: right for your blood type. And we used to be like,

875
00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,760
Speaker 1: what does that even meant? Right for your blood type?

876
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:32,359
Speaker 1: But then this book came out and it was time

877
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 1: we got the book and it was talking about eating

878
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: right for your blood type and how we all have

879
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 1: different genetic traits that require us, because of different blood types,

880
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:43,759
Speaker 1: to eat certain foods. You know what blew my mind

881
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,239
Speaker 1: when I read that book was that. So I don't

882
00:44:47,239 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 1: know if I've ever shared on the podcast before, but

883
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 1: my mother had a heart attack at Okay, and that

884
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:56,960
Speaker 1: is a large part of the reason why, aside from

885
00:44:56,960 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 1: her helping to be a part of our village to

886
00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,719
Speaker 1: help with our children, and you know, Develot and I

887
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:04,439
Speaker 1: have some reprieve whenever we need that. My mother worked

888
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 1: a very stressful job. She was a director of nursing

889
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 1: for years at a nursing home. Prior to that, worked

890
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 1: in home care, long term care, all that, and she

891
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:16,080
Speaker 1: was under a lot of stress, a lot of stress,

892
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,279
Speaker 1: and in reading about our particular blood type because we

893
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:25,120
Speaker 1: have the same blood type. It showed that stress stress

894
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:32,600
Speaker 1: alone was a huge cause of potential heart attack and

895
00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:36,959
Speaker 1: heart disease, heart disease because of our actual blood type

896
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 1: over any other blood type. And that was just mind

897
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 1: blowing to me because when my mother had the heart

898
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:46,200
Speaker 1: attack at fift, we could not figure out how you

899
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:48,920
Speaker 1: have this woman who is vibrant, she's working a lot.

900
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:51,480
Speaker 1: Granted she may not be eating the best in terms

901
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:55,439
Speaker 1: of like at all the heart attack, she hadn't eaten

902
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:58,439
Speaker 1: for thirty six hours. She had a half a bottle. Yeah. Yeah,

903
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 1: she had like a yogurt thing. And my mother has

904
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 1: never had a big appetite. Like we put a big

905
00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 1: plate of food in front of her, she's like, oh

906
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 1: my god, food, you know. So she she for the

907
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 1: most part, didn't eat frequently, but she didn't eat poorly.

908
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 1: You know. She wasn't eating like the things that you

909
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 1: say would probably need. Yeah, and she don't have a

910
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 1: lot of Salt is a silent killer, but salt is

911
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 1: really a silent killer. Guy. She was eating some, she

912
00:46:24,600 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 1: wasn't the tetos, not sleeping, not drinking enough water, and

913
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:31,000
Speaker 1: she was working out and stressed and stress yea. So

914
00:46:31,080 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 1: my mother was under just overall, her body was over

915
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 1: and she wasn't sleeping. You know, even to this day

916
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:38,440
Speaker 1: now she'll be like, oh, I can't sleep like I can.

917
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 1: I only need a couple of hours sleep and she

918
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,359
Speaker 1: doesn't have attack take the subject. But this is part

919
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 1: of the reason why I worked so hard to take

920
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:47,560
Speaker 1: care of you, the way awake, I worked to take

921
00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 1: care of you. Right. I look at the way our parents,

922
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 1: both of them, your parents and my parents just worked

923
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:59,879
Speaker 1: like they just worked so hard, and I admire they're

924
00:47:00,040 --> 00:47:03,279
Speaker 1: ability to just work and they only worked to create

925
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 1: a legacy for us. We we both have to We

926
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,279
Speaker 1: both have a brother and sister. Um they're both the

927
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:11,520
Speaker 1: leaders and their families. So they both helped them their

928
00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 1: families as well as helping their kids. But I look

929
00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 1: at your mom, I look at my mom. My mom

930
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 1: still works, right, And I want to be able as

931
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 1: just a man, to be able to say, you know what,

932
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:28,040
Speaker 1: I made my wife's life as stress free as possible.

933
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,520
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, because if we have to

934
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 1: look out for each other. And I noticed a little

935
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:37,080
Speaker 1: bit off topic, but just listening to you speak about

936
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:39,160
Speaker 1: it and thinking about how because this is a podcast

937
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 1: where we talk about being of service to each other.

938
00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:46,520
Speaker 1: When you know your partners um deficiencies, health deficiencies, you

939
00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:49,919
Speaker 1: know they have issues, potential risk it is, it would

940
00:47:49,920 --> 00:47:51,839
Speaker 1: be in your best interests if you want your partner

941
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:53,399
Speaker 1: to be there for the long haul to make sure

942
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 1: you do everything in your power to make sure they're good.

943
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:58,279
Speaker 1: I know you need sleep all the time. I'm asked

944
00:47:58,280 --> 00:48:00,879
Speaker 1: you because you remind me and your mom constantly going, going, going,

945
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:04,040
Speaker 1: going going. Did you eat yesterday? God's mind you. We

946
00:48:04,320 --> 00:48:06,480
Speaker 1: went to bed late last couple of nights. The whole

947
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:10,360
Speaker 1: podcast crew is here and shout out trouble, Matt, Dave, Josh,

948
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:13,279
Speaker 1: they all here and k went to bed early last night.

949
00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 1: But before she went to bed, I think it was

950
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 1: my twelve thirty, she said, Oh, I didn't eat today.

951
00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 1: And you see how we always talk about our parents

952
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:25,200
Speaker 1: and how our parents didn't do things the right way.

953
00:48:25,800 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 1: Here we are doing the same ship that they did,

954
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:29,760
Speaker 1: talking about my parents should have did better for themselves.

955
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:31,840
Speaker 1: And you don't realize that. You're like, what were you doing?

956
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:33,279
Speaker 1: Why didn't you eat? And it's like, well, ship, I

957
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 1: had to work out because you came in and we

958
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,359
Speaker 1: all we both hold each other accountable with working out,

959
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,000
Speaker 1: and that's one thing that that would be on my

960
00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:41,440
Speaker 1: back about. And it's not about just me having whatever

961
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:45,280
Speaker 1: he deems a perfect figure. He wants my internal body

962
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:48,000
Speaker 1: to be okay after the postpartum Reclampson, I'm on you

963
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,080
Speaker 1: about trying to get sleep and working and working out,

964
00:48:50,160 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 1: for sure, But I was like shout. I was like

965
00:48:51,920 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: getting the kids, you know, kath ned his school uniform.

966
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:56,239
Speaker 1: I was taken clothes for the morning this time, and

967
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:57,680
Speaker 1: there's so many things that had to be done by

968
00:48:57,719 --> 00:48:59,120
Speaker 1: the end of the night once the kids are asleep.

969
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: But I didn't realize that I did even bring it

970
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:03,440
Speaker 1: eat all day, you know. So it's just we have

971
00:49:03,960 --> 00:49:06,839
Speaker 1: that accountability system with each other. And I mean, let

972
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:08,759
Speaker 1: me tell you all days it ain't roses because he'd

973
00:49:08,760 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 1: be like, did you work out to day? You come

974
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,319
Speaker 1: to work out now, and I'm like, attitude, I don't

975
00:49:12,360 --> 00:49:15,000
Speaker 1: feel like working out. That's just tired. But then trying

976
00:49:15,040 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 1: to say, you know what, at the very least, like

977
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 1: we've discovered you told me recently that everybody should be

978
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,279
Speaker 1: trying to walk at least twenty minutes a day, that's

979
00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:25,200
Speaker 1: bare minimum minimum. And here I'm gonna tell you this. People.

980
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 1: People listen to me right now because everybody got excuses

981
00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:33,520
Speaker 1: and I have time. I had so much. There's nobody

982
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,879
Speaker 1: in the world, no matter how busy you are, don't

983
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 1: have twenty minutes to walk straight. Just twenty minutes straight

984
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:44,919
Speaker 1: consistently every single day. Nobody get up and just walk

985
00:49:45,000 --> 00:49:47,920
Speaker 1: twenty minutes straight. And I'm not talking about a stroll,

986
00:49:48,760 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 1: a brisk walk that develops a sweat, because when you

987
00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:53,440
Speaker 1: take a stress test, the first thing they do is

988
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,120
Speaker 1: put you on a treadmill and make you walk for

989
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:57,840
Speaker 1: twenty minutes to see if you can sustain it. You

990
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 1: have to be able to do that. Just good for

991
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: heart health. Now, there are some physical benefits you'll gain

992
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:07,360
Speaker 1: from walking, but heart health is important. Circulation is important.

993
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,839
Speaker 1: We're talking about mental health, the ability for your brain

994
00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:11,560
Speaker 1: to relax while you just you know, now, don't even

995
00:50:11,600 --> 00:50:14,879
Speaker 1: put on music, get some meditation music, and just walk

996
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:17,840
Speaker 1: and don't think about anything else except just going twenty

997
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:19,839
Speaker 1: minutes straight at the bricks vers. Wish I was doing

998
00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:22,040
Speaker 1: that for me. Sometimes I'm like, shoot, I have to

999
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 1: check these emails, and then I'm like damn. I how

1000
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:27,440
Speaker 1: to walk though, So sometimes I can't even have the

1001
00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:29,440
Speaker 1: opportunity to turn my mental health. But it's like, yo,

1002
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 1: if I can get on this treadmill, do a consistent

1003
00:50:31,560 --> 00:50:33,839
Speaker 1: walk and just like breathe through, delete emails whatever whatever,

1004
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,880
Speaker 1: like do some housekeeping stuff, you know, little things like that,

1005
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 1: do some touch bases, jump on the phone with some

1006
00:50:38,760 --> 00:50:40,120
Speaker 1: money and be like, hey, and A, I'm supposed to

1007
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,359
Speaker 1: call you back. Like, use those opportunities to be able

1008
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 1: to at least get that twenty minutes in. So that's

1009
00:50:44,960 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 1: super super important. Um, and then I'm going to divolt

1010
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:50,800
Speaker 1: something that I probably never divulged. I don't think, do

1011
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:54,800
Speaker 1: anyone really well? You do know because alright, prior to

1012
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:59,200
Speaker 1: having Dakota and I and re gonna start something when

1013
00:50:59,239 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 1: they when you say that go ahead, either of us

1014
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:04,759
Speaker 1: our something. I know because I know the Internet, I

1015
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:07,879
Speaker 1: know Beyonce's Internet, and I know the minute you say

1016
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 1: this is people gonna be saying, go hey, go go ahead. No, okay,

1017
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 1: so what we're gonna out? So our preface it by

1018
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:13,759
Speaker 1: saying we're not gonna go ahead, and I'll tell you

1019
00:51:13,880 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 1: why we're gonna go ahead. So this was something that

1020
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 1: was thought out. It's not something that we just arrived

1021
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:19,960
Speaker 1: at all willy nilly, and was just like, I will

1022
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:21,920
Speaker 1: see how it goes. So prior to even get it

1023
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:23,879
Speaker 1: pregnant with the Coda, Devin and I want defense about

1024
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 1: four or five kids. Do we have one more or

1025
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: do we have two more? I will say that even

1026
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:30,840
Speaker 1: while I was pregnant with Dakoda, through my pregnancy, I

1027
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 1: was kind of warming up to the idea of potentially

1028
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: having one more and hitting y'all with a back to

1029
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 1: back like like how kyro On Cass came back to that.

1030
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, if I'm if this

1031
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,239
Speaker 1: is gonna be the end, I might as well have

1032
00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:44,480
Speaker 1: this fourth baby who's the coda and then just do

1033
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:45,840
Speaker 1: it one more time and get it over with. And

1034
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:48,719
Speaker 1: it didn't matter, and it didn't matter to us if

1035
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 1: it was a boy or a girl, because we had

1036
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:52,480
Speaker 1: this conversation before and it was just like, if we

1037
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,000
Speaker 1: have four, we have four boys. If we try for

1038
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 1: the fifth and we have five boys, we have a

1039
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:58,920
Speaker 1: full basketball team, that's the fact. But if we have

1040
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:01,319
Speaker 1: four and the girl, right, and we finally got our girls.

1041
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:03,560
Speaker 1: So from the very beginning when we were deciding this.

1042
00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 1: It was never about a certain sex or gender. It

1043
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:09,479
Speaker 1: was just about having four or five kids, right because

1044
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,360
Speaker 1: I felt like we were in a space where initially

1045
00:52:11,440 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 1: I was like, man, I only want like two or

1046
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:14,880
Speaker 1: three kids, because I was thinking about our circumstances. We

1047
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 1: were in Brooklyn, we were still busting our ass day

1048
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:18,920
Speaker 1: in and day, and we still bust our ass to

1049
00:52:19,000 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 1: this day on a different level, and we had the

1050
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 1: space here. So in my bliss being here in our

1051
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,080
Speaker 1: new home and being pregnant with our fourth child, I'm like, oh,

1052
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:27,840
Speaker 1: we do have extra rooms. So if we did have

1053
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 1: a fifth child, no problem with five is my favorite number.

1054
00:52:30,680 --> 00:52:33,400
Speaker 1: So people don't know that, yes, that's like do we

1055
00:52:33,480 --> 00:52:35,160
Speaker 1: do the even thing or do we do the odd thing?

1056
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 1: So UM, I was warming up to the idea of it.

1057
00:52:38,680 --> 00:52:41,520
Speaker 1: I will admit that the thing that put the kabash

1058
00:52:41,960 --> 00:52:43,239
Speaker 1: in it for me, And it's one of those things

1059
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 1: where you pray for UM a sign, you pray for

1060
00:52:46,600 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 1: some direction. You're like, God, you know, if this is

1061
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:50,680
Speaker 1: for me, let me know if it ain't for me.

1062
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:55,480
Speaker 1: Removing from my life. After having CODA at home, pristine pregnancy,

1063
00:52:55,600 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 1: pristine labor, and also talking about UM the way blood coagulates.

1064
00:53:01,560 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 1: They had me on blood thinner, so like a baby,

1065
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,080
Speaker 1: I should say, not blood thinner, but a baby aspirin

1066
00:53:06,600 --> 00:53:08,840
Speaker 1: um every day of my pregnancy with CODA because they

1067
00:53:08,880 --> 00:53:11,520
Speaker 1: were concerned potentially about that being an issue for me

1068
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 1: because of the protein ski after having COVID, because I

1069
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:17,759
Speaker 1: had COVID at the very beginning before I even knew

1070
00:53:17,760 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 1: I was pregnant with CODA. In retrospect now I'm like, wow,

1071
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,719
Speaker 1: it's about five weeks pregnant and I had COVID and

1072
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:24,880
Speaker 1: it was pregnant with CODA. So that was alarming in

1073
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:29,440
Speaker 1: itself for me. But pristine pregnancy, pristine home birth, had CODA.

1074
00:53:29,560 --> 00:53:34,360
Speaker 1: Nine days later, ends up with skyrocketing blood pressure, insane

1075
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 1: headache that would not go away, swelling in my my hands,

1076
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:39,759
Speaker 1: at my feet. I had to go to the emergency

1077
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 1: room immediately because my midwife was concerned, and when I

1078
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:47,439
Speaker 1: got there was met with a triage nurse who tried

1079
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:49,480
Speaker 1: to maintain her cool, but I can also see the

1080
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:51,840
Speaker 1: concern in her face when she told me that I

1081
00:53:51,880 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 1: would have to be admitted immediately because my blood pressure

1082
00:53:55,120 --> 00:53:59,680
Speaker 1: at that point was like over likelous, ridiculous and I'm

1083
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:03,880
Speaker 1: a normal seventy kind of person. She came into me

1084
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:06,880
Speaker 1: and she said, um, hey, Mr Bellis, we have we

1085
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:08,520
Speaker 1: have your wife. We're gonna admit her now. It says

1086
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:11,239
Speaker 1: everything okay. And she said, we're going to admit her now,

1087
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:14,080
Speaker 1: right now. We have to get her started on magnesium,

1088
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:16,279
Speaker 1: we have to get that blood pressure down. And it's

1089
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:19,080
Speaker 1: a good thing you brought her in. And I said

1090
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:20,480
Speaker 1: that she going to be okay. She was just like,

1091
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:22,920
Speaker 1: it's a good thing that you brought her in. And

1092
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:25,319
Speaker 1: I was just like, man, is my wife gonna be okay?

1093
00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 1: She said, your wife could have went to sleep and

1094
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:31,800
Speaker 1: not woke up. And she said this happens more often

1095
00:54:32,239 --> 00:54:35,160
Speaker 1: than not. Two people they feel like they have a headache,

1096
00:54:35,440 --> 00:54:37,440
Speaker 1: that something's not right, and they think it's oh, I'm

1097
00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,480
Speaker 1: not sleeping. And then he said, you know how many

1098
00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:43,839
Speaker 1: people coming here and they were seconds away from having

1099
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,920
Speaker 1: an aneurysm or having a stroke or going into some

1100
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:49,839
Speaker 1: sort of of cardiac arrest because something didn't feel right

1101
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:51,800
Speaker 1: and they were just going to sleep it off. And

1102
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 1: that reminds me of your mom. Your mom left the

1103
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:57,919
Speaker 1: gym that day, said she didn't feel well and said

1104
00:54:57,920 --> 00:55:01,080
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go upstairs, and your brother said, mom,

1105
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:05,279
Speaker 1: let me check your vitals and said, this don't feel right.

1106
00:55:05,320 --> 00:55:08,800
Speaker 1: We're going into the hospital. Imagine if your brother and

1107
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 1: if if Takia or I didn't take you, or your

1108
00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:13,759
Speaker 1: mom's in the hospital. It's crazy how God works. Because

1109
00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,399
Speaker 1: my brother wasn't even supposed to be home that day,

1110
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 1: but you see how and he was home close that

1111
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:20,320
Speaker 1: is the home. Like you see how we could have

1112
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:21,840
Speaker 1: been talking about your mom not being here, and we

1113
00:55:21,880 --> 00:55:24,080
Speaker 1: could have talked about you not being here. And these

1114
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:27,640
Speaker 1: are just regular days. It was nothing catastrophic that happened, right,

1115
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 1: This is a regular day that we made a choice.

1116
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 1: And you know why we didn't go that day was

1117
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:33,640
Speaker 1: because the val had to leave for the Soul trayin

1118
00:55:33,680 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 1: awards and she was here doing his fitting and I

1119
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 1: had the baby, and I was just like, man, my

1120
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:39,719
Speaker 1: head doesn't fear right. But to me in my moment,

1121
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:41,120
Speaker 1: in that moment, I was like, I want to make

1122
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 1: sure you're good, like we always wanted to make sure

1123
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:45,279
Speaker 1: everybody else is good, and then in turn not taking

1124
00:55:45,320 --> 00:55:47,440
Speaker 1: care of ourselves. So and get into the hospital and

1125
00:55:47,520 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 1: realizing that wow, I was diagnosed with postpartum preclampsha, which

1126
00:55:51,800 --> 00:55:55,239
Speaker 1: normally you hear about preclamption while pregnant, so that's having

1127
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:58,799
Speaker 1: high blood pressure issues during the pregnancy. Never had any

1128
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:02,320
Speaker 1: sign of that. So what I learned is, like I

1129
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:04,920
Speaker 1: said earlier, when your body is under this mini stress

1130
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,920
Speaker 1: tests as a pregnant woman, it kind of gives you

1131
00:56:09,000 --> 00:56:11,880
Speaker 1: a little bit of inclination or a little triggers to

1132
00:56:12,000 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 1: let you know, hey, having high blood pressure while pregnant

1133
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 1: means that there's a very great possibility that you will

1134
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:22,160
Speaker 1: have blood pressure hypertension issues in the future. And that's

1135
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:23,880
Speaker 1: something that I don't even want to speak over my

1136
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:27,279
Speaker 1: life because y'all can have y'all little triggers and y'all

1137
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:30,000
Speaker 1: a little you know, pregnancy signs, But I'm not going

1138
00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:32,040
Speaker 1: to speak high pretension over my life. However, I do

1139
00:56:32,200 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 1: know that it runs in my family. So whatever I

1140
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:40,920
Speaker 1: can do now to help to prevent that, whatever lifestyle

1141
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:42,880
Speaker 1: changes I need to prevent now. I mean when devoun

1142
00:56:42,920 --> 00:56:44,880
Speaker 1: I sometimes meal prep now that I'm trying to get

1143
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:47,319
Speaker 1: myself back in shape after the baby and just try

1144
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:50,799
Speaker 1: to be healthier and live healthier. We'll cook meal prep

1145
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:52,719
Speaker 1: stuff and we'll eat that and then we'll go maybe

1146
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:55,320
Speaker 1: to a restaurant or eat you out somewhere else, and

1147
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:58,399
Speaker 1: we would like, damn, wasn't that fool really salty? Or like, damn,

1148
00:56:58,440 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 1: that was really sweet. So it's almost as if you're pale,

1149
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 1: your palette changes and it shifts. Sometimes your body requires

1150
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:08,920
Speaker 1: a detox, but to kind of start over. If you

1151
00:57:09,000 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 1: can change your palette as an adult, you can curate

1152
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:15,919
Speaker 1: a palette for a child. For example, our children eat

1153
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:19,360
Speaker 1: sugar free ices. They don't taste any different to them

1154
00:57:19,400 --> 00:57:21,520
Speaker 1: because they're not even used to just eating the regular

1155
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:23,920
Speaker 1: We grew up on the Italian ices with magic. I

1156
00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:26,960
Speaker 1: still eat them. But what we're trying to do with

1157
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:29,920
Speaker 1: all this information is curate a lifestyle for our children

1158
00:57:30,200 --> 00:57:32,800
Speaker 1: where they can live healthier and not have to worry

1159
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 1: about those extended pre existing conditions because we didn't add

1160
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:40,000
Speaker 1: to it with our traditional family things. And it's not

1161
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:42,280
Speaker 1: that we're trying to take these things away from our kids,

1162
00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 1: because we're still going to explain to them who they

1163
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 1: are and why we do things a certain way. But

1164
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:48,960
Speaker 1: it's just making choices, you know, make sure you guys

1165
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,920
Speaker 1: are active all the time, make sure you eat things

1166
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:54,320
Speaker 1: the right way. Don't put because our kids. Yes, everything

1167
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 1: has to be done in moderation, you know. So because

1168
00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 1: what's gonna happen is like, you're not gonna tell me

1169
00:57:58,520 --> 00:58:02,000
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna eat these candy ams on on things. Okay,

1170
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:04,080
Speaker 1: but you're not gonna tell me you're gonna take that,

1171
00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:07,480
Speaker 1: you know, pork, what is it, the turkey, nick or

1172
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:12,880
Speaker 1: whatever out of the colleague gonna have the heavy cream

1173
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:15,320
Speaker 1: in the mac and cheese. That's what we're gonna have.

1174
00:58:16,240 --> 00:58:18,680
Speaker 1: But we're not eating that every day, So I said,

1175
00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:20,000
Speaker 1: I say, we're not doing it every day, but as

1176
00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:22,760
Speaker 1: well Thanksgiving, I'll be eating it for a couple of

1177
00:58:22,800 --> 00:58:25,000
Speaker 1: days after because that's what it soaked in, really really

1178
00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 1: really nicely. Um. So, yeah, there's ways to even just

1179
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:29,720
Speaker 1: detox the body and kind of start over and kind

1180
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 1: of refresh. I think that's needed every now and again too.

1181
00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:34,320
Speaker 1: If you ask my grandmother, she'd be likely to give

1182
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:37,320
Speaker 1: them then wash out before school starts, you know, like

1183
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:38,920
Speaker 1: the end of the summer. It's like you gotta reset

1184
00:58:38,960 --> 00:58:41,160
Speaker 1: the body. You got to get that laxative, that wash

1185
00:58:41,240 --> 00:58:43,040
Speaker 1: out to kind of make sure that you're getting rid

1186
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:46,920
Speaker 1: of the things that actually your body. Yeah, so um. Well,

1187
00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:50,680
Speaker 1: shout out to Shaniqua um the homie on Instagram. She's

1188
00:58:50,720 --> 00:58:53,800
Speaker 1: high frequency tea and I did her the biddest Um

1189
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:58,200
Speaker 1: detox when I first moved here, and um, yeah, that

1190
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:01,480
Speaker 1: was an interesting detox because it tasted like all hell.

1191
00:59:01,640 --> 00:59:04,760
Speaker 1: But I felt amazingly light after that. Like she was,

1192
00:59:05,760 --> 00:59:08,920
Speaker 1: you don't always taste good, That's true, That's just what

1193
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:10,760
Speaker 1: it is. That's how I knew it was. Vegetables are

1194
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 1: what's the real deal when you eat during something that

1195
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:15,440
Speaker 1: tastes nasty. Yes, so we should have around here to

1196
00:59:15,480 --> 00:59:18,960
Speaker 1: talk about some natural ways and then in turn take

1197
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:22,320
Speaker 1: care of the body versus having to potentially maybe get

1198
00:59:22,360 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 1: on medication later, starting that before being proactive versus reactive.

1199
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:29,920
Speaker 1: Al Right, guys, So, as you guys know, twenty three

1200
00:59:30,000 --> 00:59:33,320
Speaker 1: and Me has given us um some health tips of

1201
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:36,600
Speaker 1: what we pre disposed to genetically. But they've also given

1202
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:40,040
Speaker 1: us some fun facts like carrier status and wellness and

1203
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:42,600
Speaker 1: traits that can affect us on our everyday life. And

1204
00:59:42,640 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 1: I think this would be fun to go through so

1205
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:47,640
Speaker 1: we can see how accurate this is based on how

1206
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 1: we interact on the daily. When Devout calls me crazy

1207
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:54,040
Speaker 1: or delusional, on a random day. It may not be

1208
00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:57,680
Speaker 1: just crazy and delusion. It may be genetics. I wonder

1209
00:59:57,720 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 1: if you're pre disposed to d opping it because you

1210
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:05,600
Speaker 1: like dropping it a lot like catching it, probably you

1211
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:08,960
Speaker 1: predisposed to it and I'm predisposed to catching them. It's

1212
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 1: the perfect marriage. Let's dive in, Shelly, all right. So

1213
01:00:12,920 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 1: when we look at some of my health predispositions, I

1214
01:00:16,080 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 1: guess that we have, according to my twenty three and

1215
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:23,520
Speaker 1: me report, a slightly increased risk of age related macular

1216
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 1: D generation. So that's a m D loss of eyesight

1217
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:31,320
Speaker 1: that usually begins to show up in your sixties and seventies.

1218
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 1: Smoking highly increases this risk. Oh mg, am I have

1219
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,479
Speaker 1: to put down to hookah. I don't know hooka Mommy,

1220
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:41,080
Speaker 1: damn ain nobody trying to lose this eyes side. Baby.

1221
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:43,640
Speaker 1: I want to see you. I want to see you

1222
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,720
Speaker 1: well into my hundreds. I think I think you'd be.

1223
01:00:47,840 --> 01:00:49,440
Speaker 1: And then oh, it actually picked up that I'm a

1224
01:00:49,680 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 1: carrier status UM for not necessarily the sickle cell anemia variant,

1225
01:00:54,320 --> 01:00:58,760
Speaker 1: but one was detected for the beta the last mia. Lord,

1226
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:00,960
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give me all these big words to talk about.

1227
01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:05,080
Speaker 1: I thought me you know, we always see them commercials

1228
01:01:05,160 --> 01:01:09,760
Speaker 1: on TV. Who got Mezzo? Like, what does anybody know? What? Me?

1229
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:13,240
Speaker 1: Can anybody who's actually had that? Right in for a

1230
01:01:13,280 --> 01:01:15,600
Speaker 1: listener letter because we see it all the time, and

1231
01:01:15,800 --> 01:01:18,360
Speaker 1: I just get to meet somebody who's had that. So yeah,

1232
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 1: but pretty much, it's a genetic disorder characterized by anemia

1233
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 1: and fatigue UM, as well as bone deformities and organ problems. Yikes.

1234
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:29,120
Speaker 1: So a person must have two variants in the HBB

1235
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:31,480
Speaker 1: gene in order to have this condition. So let's hope

1236
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:32,880
Speaker 1: I an't got none of that. Well know. The reason

1237
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:34,760
Speaker 1: why that's good, though, is because now you know if

1238
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:37,520
Speaker 1: the kids have it and they gave someone who has

1239
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 1: the same variants or similar variant or two variants, then

1240
01:01:40,960 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 1: they are more likely to have it. So it's important

1241
01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:45,200
Speaker 1: to know. It's definitely important to know. And then under

1242
01:01:45,240 --> 01:01:47,840
Speaker 1: the wellness category, my report says that I'm like likely

1243
01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:50,600
Speaker 1: to drink slightly less caffeine than the average based on

1244
01:01:50,640 --> 01:01:55,960
Speaker 1: my gematics. Have yet to see that yet. Day Baby

1245
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:58,600
Speaker 1: Air Day, which is funny, Bill. When I was pregnant,

1246
01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:01,360
Speaker 1: I did not like coffee at all, actually gave me

1247
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,760
Speaker 1: more heightened morning sickness UM. But yeah, I mean, I

1248
01:02:04,800 --> 01:02:06,560
Speaker 1: can't go a date without coffee or two if I

1249
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:08,840
Speaker 1: chose to. My thing is I love a warm beverage

1250
01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 1: in the morning. So if it's not coffee, it's a

1251
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:13,959
Speaker 1: cup of tea, I'm gonna have something. And then also

1252
01:02:14,040 --> 01:02:17,920
Speaker 1: recording to my report, my genetic muscle composition is common

1253
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:23,040
Speaker 1: in power elite elite. You know what they're talking about,

1254
01:02:23,120 --> 01:02:28,600
Speaker 1: right That bum, that bubble, that's that's where the power

1255
01:02:28,720 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 1: comes from. But the hamstrings, the whole glued hamstring, posterior

1256
01:02:32,840 --> 01:02:35,560
Speaker 1: chain area like a track athlete volleyball. If you get

1257
01:02:35,600 --> 01:02:38,400
Speaker 1: that from your mother, love that was playing netball in Jamaica,

1258
01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:41,800
Speaker 1: running track, and then you got that the glutes. Okay,

1259
01:02:41,840 --> 01:02:44,440
Speaker 1: that's all genetic, baby, yes, make sure you think my

1260
01:02:44,520 --> 01:02:48,840
Speaker 1: mother to day. All right, all right. And I'm more

1261
01:02:48,920 --> 01:02:52,080
Speaker 1: likely to be a deep sleeper. Absolutely on the rare

1262
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:54,280
Speaker 1: occasion that I can't actually get into a deep sleep,

1263
01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:59,280
Speaker 1: I'm going to sleep rare occasion though, rare occasion. And

1264
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:06,120
Speaker 1: then last traits okay, okay, okay, So for my wellness,

1265
01:03:06,160 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 1: it says that my body composition is common in elite

1266
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:11,920
Speaker 1: power athletes. Make sense because I've been elite power athlete.

1267
01:03:11,920 --> 01:03:16,040
Speaker 1: My whole life playing football, playing basketball. You're not together

1268
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:19,360
Speaker 1: making little power leap athletes. That's why the Jackson cairo

1269
01:03:19,560 --> 01:03:21,400
Speaker 1: kas at the quarter. They're gonna be out here, run

1270
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:24,640
Speaker 1: it all over everybody. Absolutely, it says I'm less likely

1271
01:03:24,680 --> 01:03:28,080
Speaker 1: to be a deep sleeper. That makes sense, it does, yes,

1272
01:03:28,240 --> 01:03:31,320
Speaker 1: because I to be honest, I don't think my eyes

1273
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:32,920
Speaker 1: ever closed. I feel like I'll be sleeping like this

1274
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:36,800
Speaker 1: the whole night and time to get up. Or you're

1275
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:38,160
Speaker 1: thinking too much, you don't know, want to turn your

1276
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:40,640
Speaker 1: brain off. I'm always thinking. Plus also being the man

1277
01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 1: of the house, I never want to hear someone. I

1278
01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:44,760
Speaker 1: always want to be aware of someone's entering or exiting

1279
01:03:44,800 --> 01:03:47,160
Speaker 1: the house. And it's been that way since the apartment.

1280
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 1: Like I just want to know. So I don't feel

1281
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:51,320
Speaker 1: like sleep heavy at all. Absolutely, all right, let's go

1282
01:03:51,400 --> 01:03:53,640
Speaker 1: with some traits. So do you and nine boats? It

1283
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:56,240
Speaker 1: looks like have a chance of being able to match

1284
01:03:56,960 --> 01:04:01,840
Speaker 1: a musical pitch. So, because I think the record has

1285
01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 1: shown based on karaoke, we're in season nine. That's not

1286
01:04:08,280 --> 01:04:10,640
Speaker 1: a talent I have. I ain't even want wow, look

1287
01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:16,560
Speaker 1: at this one. This is actually so spot on, slightly

1288
01:04:16,640 --> 01:04:21,640
Speaker 1: higher odds of disliking cilantro. Oh wow, guys, I hate cilantro.

1289
01:04:22,520 --> 01:04:25,600
Speaker 1: Cilantro can go somewhere and die, like literally like I

1290
01:04:25,680 --> 01:04:28,439
Speaker 1: have no use for it, but barely Mexican food because

1291
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:31,840
Speaker 1: it's cilantro. According to the report, you are not likely

1292
01:04:31,920 --> 01:04:36,680
Speaker 1: to have early hair lows cat cat, right, what's so

1293
01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:40,600
Speaker 1: somewhat a cat? Because my hair lows is more stress

1294
01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:45,720
Speaker 1: based your counterparts. And when I'm when I'm resting and

1295
01:04:45,840 --> 01:04:48,800
Speaker 1: not filming, my hair is fuller. Whenever I get into

1296
01:04:48,840 --> 01:04:50,960
Speaker 1: that season of filming months and months at the time,

1297
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:53,400
Speaker 1: my hair definitely things out. So that's true. But here

1298
01:04:53,480 --> 01:04:56,600
Speaker 1: this one, here I noticed his cat likely prefer salty

1299
01:04:56,680 --> 01:05:00,880
Speaker 1: over sweet. Cat. I love sugar. Less likely to have

1300
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:04,120
Speaker 1: a fear of public speaking for me. Hello, that makes sense.

1301
01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:09,400
Speaker 1: Look at your last one. But average odds of hating

1302
01:05:09,480 --> 01:05:13,720
Speaker 1: chewing sounds you kiss yo. Y'all know how condemia is

1303
01:05:13,760 --> 01:05:17,200
Speaker 1: about people who made this. I literally want to hug you.

1304
01:05:17,800 --> 01:05:22,640
Speaker 1: It's so true. More than average to be afraid of heights, Yes,

1305
01:05:22,760 --> 01:05:25,720
Speaker 1: I'm afraid of heights. Yes, I can't smell. I can't

1306
01:05:25,720 --> 01:05:29,400
Speaker 1: stand the smell of asparagus. I mean, I'm indifferent to that. Wow,

1307
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 1: I prefer vanilla over chocolate ice cream. I do less

1308
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:36,280
Speaker 1: likely to dislike chewing sounds. I could care less about

1309
01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 1: chewing sounds. You want to know why I'd be focused

1310
01:05:38,040 --> 01:05:40,840
Speaker 1: on my food, not other people, unlike my wife here,

1311
01:05:41,040 --> 01:05:43,200
Speaker 1: who will stop eating her food just to see if

1312
01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:46,760
Speaker 1: she can hear if somebody's chewing. You're a lunatic, and

1313
01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 1: now we know it's genetically. You're a genetic lunatic. That's

1314
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:52,040
Speaker 1: the reason why you are the way you are. So

1315
01:05:52,120 --> 01:05:54,280
Speaker 1: you're calling me a lunatic all these years? Are you

1316
01:05:54,400 --> 01:05:56,200
Speaker 1: just calling me? As you see me? You can't help you.

1317
01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:58,120
Speaker 1: I love that I can't help myself, y'all. Now we

1318
01:05:58,200 --> 01:06:01,600
Speaker 1: know I'm crazy and he's crazier for being in this

1319
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:06,760
Speaker 1: world with me. You love it here, baby, period. All right,

1320
01:06:06,920 --> 01:06:09,240
Speaker 1: that was a pretty cool discussion twenty three and me

1321
01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:11,400
Speaker 1: thank you all for that report, Like no, no, my

1322
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:14,800
Speaker 1: bad bits from Street Vodka. Ya can't y'all can't tell

1323
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:16,680
Speaker 1: me that's it. But what I am going to tell

1324
01:06:16,680 --> 01:06:18,600
Speaker 1: you that is that we need to break um so

1325
01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:20,600
Speaker 1: we can go into listener letters because we do still

1326
01:06:20,640 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 1: have that as a portion of the show. On season

1327
01:06:23,320 --> 01:06:25,800
Speaker 1: nine of Listener Letters, I'm excited to dive in, So

1328
01:06:25,960 --> 01:06:37,240
Speaker 1: let's take a break and we'll be right back. We

1329
01:06:37,320 --> 01:06:39,720
Speaker 1: are back with listener letters. I will go ahead and

1330
01:06:39,840 --> 01:06:43,200
Speaker 1: read this first one. All right, So this one seems

1331
01:06:43,320 --> 01:06:46,439
Speaker 1: very ambig uous. A man has been with a woman.

1332
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:50,560
Speaker 1: He has three kids. By youngest it's eleven, and has

1333
01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:53,360
Speaker 1: recently moved them into a new house. Reason for moving

1334
01:06:53,480 --> 01:06:55,520
Speaker 1: is because he says that his kids had outgrown the

1335
01:06:55,560 --> 01:06:58,000
Speaker 1: house they were previously living in and his youngest daughter

1336
01:06:58,440 --> 01:07:01,600
Speaker 1: didn't have her own room. I've been dealing with this

1337
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:04,160
Speaker 1: man for the last twenty four years, and I also

1338
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:07,720
Speaker 1: have his first child, aged two. He tells me that

1339
01:07:07,800 --> 01:07:10,400
Speaker 1: we're going to be together and has also told me

1340
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:12,960
Speaker 1: that he's going to marry me one day, but he

1341
01:07:13,080 --> 01:07:15,960
Speaker 1: has to make sure that they're good before he leaves

1342
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:18,520
Speaker 1: so he won't have to so they won't need him

1343
01:07:18,600 --> 01:07:21,600
Speaker 1: or be in poverty. My question to you, does this

1344
01:07:21,680 --> 01:07:24,320
Speaker 1: sound like a situation I should wait for or should

1345
01:07:24,360 --> 01:07:26,960
Speaker 1: I hit the hills running. I'll be listening faithfully to

1346
01:07:27,120 --> 01:07:31,120
Speaker 1: hear your response. Okay, so this is this is a

1347
01:07:31,280 --> 01:07:35,120
Speaker 1: very um loaded question and there is no right or

1348
01:07:35,160 --> 01:07:39,200
Speaker 1: wrong answer. But I will say this in situations like

1349
01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:42,320
Speaker 1: these you have to look at two perspectives, right. I

1350
01:07:42,560 --> 01:07:47,320
Speaker 1: understand her perspective as a woman. Right. It says that

1351
01:07:47,360 --> 01:07:51,920
Speaker 1: they've been together for twenty four years, which means even

1352
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:54,520
Speaker 1: if they were together from fifteen, they're still thirty nine, right,

1353
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:56,840
Speaker 1: which means that's time. Time is of the essence. They

1354
01:07:56,920 --> 01:07:59,200
Speaker 1: have children together, the first and the third child of

1355
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:01,560
Speaker 1: both theirs, and in the middle is not hers, So

1356
01:08:01,640 --> 01:08:03,000
Speaker 1: we don't know if there was a break there or not.

1357
01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:06,000
Speaker 1: But she says she's like, yo, he bought a house

1358
01:08:06,200 --> 01:08:08,400
Speaker 1: we all live in together, but she wants to get married.

1359
01:08:08,480 --> 01:08:12,000
Speaker 1: She wants the title. Right. I understand where she's coming from,

1360
01:08:12,040 --> 01:08:14,000
Speaker 1: because as a woman in society, when you live with

1361
01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:15,760
Speaker 1: a guy for a long time and you're not married,

1362
01:08:15,840 --> 01:08:18,280
Speaker 1: people look down on you. They don't look down on him,

1363
01:08:18,800 --> 01:08:20,160
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. They're just like, oh, she's

1364
01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:22,760
Speaker 1: sticking around and he's playing house and he doesn't have

1365
01:08:22,840 --> 01:08:25,240
Speaker 1: to commit to her. So I understand where she's coming from.

1366
01:08:25,560 --> 01:08:27,960
Speaker 1: So the title means a lot to her. Similar to

1367
01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:30,400
Speaker 1: when we got married, you you would like, I'm not

1368
01:08:30,439 --> 01:08:33,880
Speaker 1: going to be your living girlfriend, and I was just like, okay,

1369
01:08:33,920 --> 01:08:36,200
Speaker 1: I want to get married. But I'm not ready to

1370
01:08:36,320 --> 01:08:38,760
Speaker 1: get married yet. This is where I talk about where

1371
01:08:38,760 --> 01:08:42,360
Speaker 1: I understand his perspective. Right when Codein and I were

1372
01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:44,000
Speaker 1: getting married, and I'm going to use us as an

1373
01:08:44,040 --> 01:08:47,320
Speaker 1: example because a lot of women have agreed with you

1374
01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:49,160
Speaker 1: in the terms, and a lot of men have agreed

1375
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:52,360
Speaker 1: with me. When we were getting married, Codine's focus was

1376
01:08:52,520 --> 01:08:55,519
Speaker 1: on the wedding. My focus was on the marriage and

1377
01:08:55,600 --> 01:08:59,120
Speaker 1: my line. You know, because you wanted to have the

1378
01:08:59,160 --> 01:09:01,680
Speaker 1: perfect wedding, that's that you dreamed about. I wanted to

1379
01:09:01,760 --> 01:09:03,880
Speaker 1: have the perfect marriage in part because I felt like

1380
01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:06,599
Speaker 1: the pressure would be on me the same way. If

1381
01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:10,200
Speaker 1: you're living together with me for years and we're not married,

1382
01:09:10,240 --> 01:09:12,919
Speaker 1: everyone looks at you. If we go into a financial

1383
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:15,920
Speaker 1: hardship and we're married, everyone's gonna look at me. So

1384
01:09:16,120 --> 01:09:18,240
Speaker 1: as a man, it's a little bit more difficult to

1385
01:09:18,320 --> 01:09:20,880
Speaker 1: make that decision to say, I want to ask this

1386
01:09:21,320 --> 01:09:23,200
Speaker 1: this woman to be my wife, but I'm not in

1387
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:25,960
Speaker 1: a place financially where I want to be so that

1388
01:09:26,040 --> 01:09:28,799
Speaker 1: I can take care of anything, if everything, if something happens.

1389
01:09:29,280 --> 01:09:30,920
Speaker 1: I know what that feels like as a man, but

1390
01:09:31,040 --> 01:09:33,400
Speaker 1: I also have empathy enough to understand when a woman

1391
01:09:33,479 --> 01:09:35,519
Speaker 1: feels like when she feels like she's being dragged along.

1392
01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:39,840
Speaker 1: The way these two can come to amicable decision is

1393
01:09:39,920 --> 01:09:43,920
Speaker 1: by constantly having communication. She probably doesn't feel comfortable being

1394
01:09:43,960 --> 01:09:46,519
Speaker 1: honest with him in real time, and he probably doesn't

1395
01:09:46,520 --> 01:09:48,479
Speaker 1: feel comfortable being honest with her in real time. It's

1396
01:09:48,479 --> 01:09:51,160
Speaker 1: almost like I don't know exactly how to say what

1397
01:09:51,280 --> 01:09:53,120
Speaker 1: it is I want to say. But if they learn

1398
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:56,639
Speaker 1: how to communicate and express what they need in order

1399
01:09:56,680 --> 01:09:59,560
Speaker 1: to move forward, they'll be able to do it collectively.

1400
01:09:59,640 --> 01:10:01,280
Speaker 1: And I think that's what the problem is, because even

1401
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:03,519
Speaker 1: her asking the questions do I wait, but do I

1402
01:10:03,680 --> 01:10:05,400
Speaker 1: run for the hills, It's like, what are you waiting for?

1403
01:10:06,439 --> 01:10:08,559
Speaker 1: Be open and say what you need. You were open

1404
01:10:08,600 --> 01:10:10,800
Speaker 1: and said what you needed, and at the time I

1405
01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:13,040
Speaker 1: felt like it was pressure. But I was open and

1406
01:10:13,120 --> 01:10:15,400
Speaker 1: said how I felt. But it's pressure, and I told

1407
01:10:15,439 --> 01:10:17,759
Speaker 1: you what I needed. Where I failed in that moment

1408
01:10:18,040 --> 01:10:20,800
Speaker 1: was my dad always told me, when it comes to finances,

1409
01:10:20,840 --> 01:10:23,640
Speaker 1: you take the stress off of your wife. That's your responsibility.

1410
01:10:23,880 --> 01:10:26,280
Speaker 1: I know it may seem old school, but my father said,

1411
01:10:27,160 --> 01:10:29,200
Speaker 1: when you ask a woman to be your wife, it

1412
01:10:29,320 --> 01:10:32,400
Speaker 1: is your fiduciary responsibility to take care of her and

1413
01:10:32,479 --> 01:10:35,160
Speaker 1: the children that you had her you had asked her

1414
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:37,600
Speaker 1: to have for you. So for me, I felt a

1415
01:10:37,640 --> 01:10:41,760
Speaker 1: different level of responsibility being a man, because I felt

1416
01:10:41,840 --> 01:10:44,400
Speaker 1: like it's my responsibility to take care of all of y'all,

1417
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:46,880
Speaker 1: whereas you probably felt like we can do this together.

1418
01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:50,720
Speaker 1: We never had that conversation of what my mindset was

1419
01:10:50,800 --> 01:10:52,840
Speaker 1: and getting married. All I said was I wasn't ready

1420
01:10:52,880 --> 01:10:55,719
Speaker 1: in a moment. And when you hear I'm not ready,

1421
01:10:56,120 --> 01:10:58,600
Speaker 1: you think what, You're not ready to get married? And

1422
01:10:58,680 --> 01:11:00,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, it's not that I'm not ready to

1423
01:11:00,080 --> 01:11:02,920
Speaker 1: get married. I just don't think I'm financially prepared to

1424
01:11:03,040 --> 01:11:05,160
Speaker 1: go through the entire marriage right now. And you know,

1425
01:11:06,040 --> 01:11:08,160
Speaker 1: the expect the expectation for me was never for you

1426
01:11:08,280 --> 01:11:11,519
Speaker 1: to take care of me, which was I think ultimately

1427
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,920
Speaker 1: was where we kind of like different on opinions. You

1428
01:11:14,240 --> 01:11:16,479
Speaker 1: according to like your dad, which shout out to Scoop

1429
01:11:16,520 --> 01:11:18,439
Speaker 1: again for being like a stand up dude to say, hey, bro,

1430
01:11:18,600 --> 01:11:19,840
Speaker 1: like you need to be able to take care of

1431
01:11:19,920 --> 01:11:21,920
Speaker 1: your family, where I'm just like, Bro, you and I

1432
01:11:22,080 --> 01:11:24,880
Speaker 1: together can do anything. Like I was excited just about

1433
01:11:24,880 --> 01:11:26,519
Speaker 1: the vigor you had for life, and I had the

1434
01:11:26,560 --> 01:11:28,599
Speaker 1: same vigor. So it's like we can do this together.

1435
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:31,320
Speaker 1: Like I'm not depending on you, but I know, as

1436
01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:34,160
Speaker 1: a man, you have your own particular set of you know,

1437
01:11:35,040 --> 01:11:37,120
Speaker 1: I guess your checklist of things where we're checking off

1438
01:11:37,160 --> 01:11:38,680
Speaker 1: certain things like I want to be married by this

1439
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:41,080
Speaker 1: time or have children by this time. You have your checklist.

1440
01:11:41,080 --> 01:11:42,040
Speaker 1: If I want to be able to do this, I

1441
01:11:42,080 --> 01:11:43,320
Speaker 1: want to be able to pay off my house, I'd

1442
01:11:43,560 --> 01:11:45,720
Speaker 1: get my wife this. I completely understand it. And I

1443
01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:50,760
Speaker 1: also understand that when things go wrong, people generally, when

1444
01:11:50,960 --> 01:11:53,920
Speaker 1: you're looking at a married couple, tend to blame the

1445
01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:56,320
Speaker 1: husband if they're having issues. You know, I know a

1446
01:11:56,640 --> 01:12:00,040
Speaker 1: particular situation where that's exactly what happened. The why it

1447
01:12:00,200 --> 01:12:01,720
Speaker 1: was just at fault for not working and taking care

1448
01:12:01,760 --> 01:12:03,760
Speaker 1: of her, and neither one of them work and he wasn't,

1449
01:12:03,800 --> 01:12:05,280
Speaker 1: so neither of them were working, and it's just like

1450
01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:07,360
Speaker 1: y'all you were in the situation, and it's not just

1451
01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:10,439
Speaker 1: him and it's not just her. Ever, everyone blame him

1452
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:13,080
Speaker 1: and then and the thing is they will talk about

1453
01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:15,080
Speaker 1: double standards in the world and it's not fair. We

1454
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:18,439
Speaker 1: get it's not fair, right, but they are what they are, right,

1455
01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:20,840
Speaker 1: the double standard. A man can live with a wife,

1456
01:12:20,920 --> 01:12:23,240
Speaker 1: will live with a woman for years and nobody will

1457
01:12:23,320 --> 01:12:27,160
Speaker 1: say anything to him, but they'll judge her. They can

1458
01:12:27,200 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 1: go through financial hardships, they won't say anything about her,

1459
01:12:29,439 --> 01:12:32,040
Speaker 1: but they'll judge him. That's the double standards, and I

1460
01:12:32,080 --> 01:12:34,639
Speaker 1: think a lot of people get caught up and trying

1461
01:12:34,720 --> 01:12:37,920
Speaker 1: not to be a part of those narratives that for

1462
01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:40,600
Speaker 1: women it's like, I need to get married so I

1463
01:12:40,640 --> 01:12:42,000
Speaker 1: don't want to be a stay at home And for

1464
01:12:42,080 --> 01:12:43,400
Speaker 1: a man, he's like, I don't want to seem like

1465
01:12:43,439 --> 01:12:45,559
Speaker 1: a dead beat husband. I gotta make sure my finances

1466
01:12:45,600 --> 01:12:48,680
Speaker 1: are straight. If those two people just speak and be

1467
01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:50,439
Speaker 1: honest about the plan and what they want to do,

1468
01:12:50,520 --> 01:12:53,200
Speaker 1: they'll be fine, period. So I wouldn't say run for

1469
01:12:53,240 --> 01:12:55,840
Speaker 1: the hills. I would say begin that dialogue about what

1470
01:12:55,960 --> 01:12:57,720
Speaker 1: your life is looking like and what you want to do,

1471
01:12:57,880 --> 01:13:00,040
Speaker 1: because you never know. And I know if it's some

1472
01:13:00,040 --> 01:13:01,840
Speaker 1: people that say what they've been together twenty four years,

1473
01:13:01,880 --> 01:13:05,880
Speaker 1: that's a long time. Listen. There's no age that you

1474
01:13:05,960 --> 01:13:08,080
Speaker 1: can look at someone and count their pockets and say

1475
01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:10,880
Speaker 1: they're prepared for life. Because I know people older than

1476
01:13:11,000 --> 01:13:14,599
Speaker 1: me who still need help financially and still need hope

1477
01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:18,040
Speaker 1: emotionally and just still need help. So it's difficult for

1478
01:13:18,080 --> 01:13:19,920
Speaker 1: you to look at someone forty years or he should

1479
01:13:19,920 --> 01:13:22,400
Speaker 1: have had his life together. There's plenty of people our

1480
01:13:22,479 --> 01:13:24,800
Speaker 1: age who don't have their life together, people older than

1481
01:13:24,960 --> 01:13:27,080
Speaker 1: us who don't. So we have to also stop doing

1482
01:13:27,120 --> 01:13:28,640
Speaker 1: that to people and tell them they should have their

1483
01:13:28,720 --> 01:13:32,360
Speaker 1: life together by their mid twenties or they've a failure.

1484
01:13:32,479 --> 01:13:35,040
Speaker 1: You know, things take time for different people. Absolutely, so

1485
01:13:35,120 --> 01:13:38,120
Speaker 1: good Luxus, thank you for being a faithful listener, and

1486
01:13:38,160 --> 01:13:41,640
Speaker 1: I hope you got your answer all right. Number two,

1487
01:13:42,400 --> 01:13:44,519
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts on supporting your partner as they

1488
01:13:44,560 --> 01:13:47,080
Speaker 1: build a business that but you aren't married? Wow? This

1489
01:13:47,160 --> 01:13:50,200
Speaker 1: is actually a perfect second question. By support, I mean

1490
01:13:50,320 --> 01:13:53,320
Speaker 1: doing the admin side or groundwork for free. Should this

1491
01:13:53,439 --> 01:13:56,440
Speaker 1: be reserved for married couples since there is more security

1492
01:13:56,520 --> 01:14:01,519
Speaker 1: in marriage. Girls ain't security and nothing period, first and foremost,

1493
01:14:02,160 --> 01:14:03,800
Speaker 1: um or as just a girl or guy. I don't

1494
01:14:03,800 --> 01:14:05,040
Speaker 1: know who wrote it, as it was a man or

1495
01:14:05,040 --> 01:14:07,880
Speaker 1: a woman. Um there ain't no security and nothing. So

1496
01:14:08,080 --> 01:14:10,519
Speaker 1: just feeling like, oh, because I'm married now, their security

1497
01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:15,559
Speaker 1: absolutely not because things fall apart. Okay, um I guess

1498
01:14:15,960 --> 01:14:17,840
Speaker 1: they're more at stake in terms of like how things

1499
01:14:17,880 --> 01:14:19,800
Speaker 1: will be divided if you're married and then you end

1500
01:14:19,880 --> 01:14:22,040
Speaker 1: up divorcing, and like what does that business look like

1501
01:14:22,160 --> 01:14:24,200
Speaker 1: and what does the revenue look like? How it's going

1502
01:14:24,280 --> 01:14:27,200
Speaker 1: to be split. That's different. But I supported Devout for

1503
01:14:27,280 --> 01:14:31,160
Speaker 1: free when he had just a dream, absolutely, and I

1504
01:14:32,479 --> 01:14:36,080
Speaker 1: worked as your I guess, your administrative assistant when you

1505
01:14:36,160 --> 01:14:39,360
Speaker 1: were starting, for example, your prototype business with the kids

1506
01:14:39,479 --> 01:14:43,120
Speaker 1: and training. Um, I would work in the right We

1507
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:47,040
Speaker 1: were engaged at the time, and yeah, I mean at

1508
01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:49,040
Speaker 1: that time it was just an idea for Devout, like, oh,

1509
01:14:49,240 --> 01:14:50,400
Speaker 1: you know, I want to be able to do this,

1510
01:14:50,920 --> 01:14:52,559
Speaker 1: And I'm like, all right, cool. I was always down

1511
01:14:52,600 --> 01:14:54,519
Speaker 1: for the cause, even from day one. When Devout told

1512
01:14:54,520 --> 01:14:56,519
Speaker 1: me about all his hopes and dreams, I'm like, awesome,

1513
01:14:56,520 --> 01:14:59,000
Speaker 1: how are we gonna make this happen? But that's but

1514
01:14:59,080 --> 01:15:02,160
Speaker 1: I think that's the question though. It's like, and I

1515
01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:04,240
Speaker 1: just I'm asking you personally because I don't want to

1516
01:15:04,280 --> 01:15:06,360
Speaker 1: know to like, because I know what my answer is

1517
01:15:06,400 --> 01:15:08,479
Speaker 1: to this question for you, I don't hear you. What

1518
01:15:08,800 --> 01:15:11,439
Speaker 1: was it about me that you said I feel safe

1519
01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:15,000
Speaker 1: helping this person even without any commitment when I think

1520
01:15:15,040 --> 01:15:19,600
Speaker 1: about you helping me read my dog. You know what

1521
01:15:19,680 --> 01:15:23,120
Speaker 1: I'm saying. And it went both ways because I remember

1522
01:15:23,120 --> 01:15:25,200
Speaker 1: when you were an audio video class and you needed

1523
01:15:25,280 --> 01:15:27,760
Speaker 1: someone to hold the camera and you know, hold the

1524
01:15:27,800 --> 01:15:29,880
Speaker 1: white paper to be your your white balance. You were

1525
01:15:29,920 --> 01:15:31,840
Speaker 1: actor in a music video I had to do in class.

1526
01:15:31,840 --> 01:15:35,639
Speaker 1: You remember, listen, you're acting day started. You're the first

1527
01:15:35,680 --> 01:15:38,439
Speaker 1: person to cast me in my first Make sure you're

1528
01:15:38,439 --> 01:15:40,120
Speaker 1: give me my credits when you get your ascar. Okay,

1529
01:15:40,280 --> 01:15:42,160
Speaker 1: so they always ask this is why? So now I'm

1530
01:15:42,160 --> 01:15:44,040
Speaker 1: gonna ask the question. This answer the question. This is

1531
01:15:44,040 --> 01:15:45,720
Speaker 1: why you don't help people when you're not married, because

1532
01:15:45,720 --> 01:15:51,160
Speaker 1: they come back later on when she gave them. But

1533
01:15:51,520 --> 01:15:53,840
Speaker 1: we've always been supportive of each other. And I know

1534
01:15:54,040 --> 01:16:00,840
Speaker 1: why I was supportive you, But why um de value?

1535
01:16:01,160 --> 01:16:06,080
Speaker 1: From day one have exhibited such a charisma and such

1536
01:16:06,840 --> 01:16:11,000
Speaker 1: unyielding work ethic for anything that you want. That seeing

1537
01:16:11,040 --> 01:16:13,320
Speaker 1: that early on was enough for me to be brought

1538
01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:18,360
Speaker 1: into your dreams as well. You always worked hard. You

1539
01:16:18,479 --> 01:16:21,080
Speaker 1: had all these ideas in your mind, and you may

1540
01:16:21,120 --> 01:16:24,920
Speaker 1: not be the the best that like administrative follow up

1541
01:16:25,040 --> 01:16:27,240
Speaker 1: or just things like that, because you're you're you're creative

1542
01:16:27,439 --> 01:16:29,800
Speaker 1: to the max. So but you do know how to

1543
01:16:29,840 --> 01:16:32,479
Speaker 1: delegate responsibility, and you do know how to empower people

1544
01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:36,439
Speaker 1: around you to be at their best potential in whatever

1545
01:16:36,560 --> 01:16:38,920
Speaker 1: facet they're working at. Because if there's a collective goal,

1546
01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:42,320
Speaker 1: a collective dream, a collective business, you're really great about

1547
01:16:42,400 --> 01:16:45,519
Speaker 1: mapping that out. And I saw that early on UM

1548
01:16:45,600 --> 01:16:48,120
Speaker 1: and it was starting from even just your NFL days.

1549
01:16:48,280 --> 01:16:50,479
Speaker 1: You know, you were trying to just you know, start

1550
01:16:50,560 --> 01:16:51,920
Speaker 1: that nest day, and you say, if I get to

1551
01:16:51,960 --> 01:16:53,240
Speaker 1: the NFL, this would be a great way for me

1552
01:16:53,320 --> 01:16:55,320
Speaker 1: to have that nest day to start my life for

1553
01:16:55,520 --> 01:16:57,640
Speaker 1: my family, so then I can in turn not be

1554
01:16:57,720 --> 01:17:00,439
Speaker 1: a starving actor. You put the wheels in ocean, and

1555
01:17:00,560 --> 01:17:02,200
Speaker 1: that was enough for me to be brought into your

1556
01:17:02,240 --> 01:17:04,200
Speaker 1: dream because I said, this man is motivated, so we

1557
01:17:04,280 --> 01:17:06,479
Speaker 1: can do this together. So what you're saying was it

1558
01:17:06,560 --> 01:17:09,880
Speaker 1: wasn't the talking, it was you watching me work. So

1559
01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:13,720
Speaker 1: we're on the same page. Because when now this is

1560
01:17:13,920 --> 01:17:16,120
Speaker 1: this is actually a great topic because I just had

1561
01:17:16,160 --> 01:17:18,080
Speaker 1: a conversation with a bunch of dudes, my young boys

1562
01:17:18,160 --> 01:17:21,720
Speaker 1: who are graduating in college now. They's like, yo, coach devout, Like,

1563
01:17:21,760 --> 01:17:23,280
Speaker 1: how much time should I put into a chick that

1564
01:17:23,360 --> 01:17:25,559
Speaker 1: I'm not that's not going to be my wife or whatever,

1565
01:17:25,680 --> 01:17:28,519
Speaker 1: because the city girls out here trying to get paid

1566
01:17:28,760 --> 01:17:30,680
Speaker 1: and I ain't trying to get got And now the

1567
01:17:30,760 --> 01:17:33,160
Speaker 1: city boys is like these bitches, I'm going out for me,

1568
01:17:33,600 --> 01:17:37,120
Speaker 1: and it is, yes, the thing, that's the full thing.

1569
01:17:37,160 --> 01:17:39,559
Speaker 1: Everybody's out for self, or at least on social media.

1570
01:17:41,160 --> 01:17:42,920
Speaker 1: I mean, shoot, if you're not on TikTok, you oh,

1571
01:17:43,240 --> 01:17:46,320
Speaker 1: and I'm not on TikTok, I own that I had

1572
01:17:46,400 --> 01:17:49,040
Speaker 1: you hurt and looking at TikTok. But I've started to

1573
01:17:49,120 --> 01:17:53,200
Speaker 1: realize even listening to people's comments or commentary on social media,

1574
01:17:55,120 --> 01:17:58,120
Speaker 1: their example of why, for example, niggas ain't ship or

1575
01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:02,880
Speaker 1: bitches ain't ship always goes back to their choices. I

1576
01:18:03,040 --> 01:18:04,920
Speaker 1: was dealing with this nigga and and I was dealing

1577
01:18:04,960 --> 01:18:07,200
Speaker 1: with this bit and she la. So maybe you should

1578
01:18:07,280 --> 01:18:11,000
Speaker 1: check your choices. Rather than rather than passing a wide

1579
01:18:11,080 --> 01:18:13,439
Speaker 1: net over all of the people in the world, you

1580
01:18:13,479 --> 01:18:17,000
Speaker 1: should be more have more discernment with who you choose

1581
01:18:17,040 --> 01:18:19,720
Speaker 1: to give your time to. So, for example, if you

1582
01:18:19,840 --> 01:18:23,200
Speaker 1: notice that a dude or a girl is always talking

1583
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:25,560
Speaker 1: about what they're gonna do and not do it, and

1584
01:18:25,680 --> 01:18:27,360
Speaker 1: you feel like you're going to be the person to

1585
01:18:27,439 --> 01:18:30,200
Speaker 1: push them, and you realize that you're doing all the work.

1586
01:18:30,680 --> 01:18:32,960
Speaker 1: You should have noticed that before they started working and

1587
01:18:33,000 --> 01:18:35,280
Speaker 1: they was just talking. But I see people do this

1588
01:18:35,320 --> 01:18:37,160
Speaker 1: all the time. They hear someone talk about their dreams

1589
01:18:37,200 --> 01:18:39,120
Speaker 1: and they're like, I'll help them do their dreams. And

1590
01:18:39,280 --> 01:18:41,120
Speaker 1: even sometimes you help that person do their dream, they

1591
01:18:41,160 --> 01:18:43,240
Speaker 1: take the dream and they move on. It's like they

1592
01:18:43,320 --> 01:18:45,040
Speaker 1: never asked you to help them with the dream. You

1593
01:18:45,280 --> 01:18:47,960
Speaker 1: chose to step in and do it. You gotta start

1594
01:18:48,040 --> 01:18:50,120
Speaker 1: looking at people and letting them tell you who they

1595
01:18:50,160 --> 01:18:54,280
Speaker 1: are and believing them. The first time, Yeah, with you,

1596
01:18:54,880 --> 01:18:57,960
Speaker 1: I was like, she actually working, She actually doing all

1597
01:18:58,000 --> 01:19:01,400
Speaker 1: the stuff. Are a A D R D one r

1598
01:19:01,439 --> 01:19:03,320
Speaker 1: A A D and R D of the year every

1599
01:19:03,360 --> 01:19:05,559
Speaker 1: single year? When you started at MAC, you went from

1600
01:19:05,600 --> 01:19:08,679
Speaker 1: a third key, I mean you were from part time

1601
01:19:08,760 --> 01:19:10,840
Speaker 1: to a third key to a manager. All of this

1602
01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:12,559
Speaker 1: was quick. So I was like that she works hard.

1603
01:19:12,920 --> 01:19:15,800
Speaker 1: So I felt like if I could help her, I

1604
01:19:15,920 --> 01:19:18,920
Speaker 1: could give her autonomy to move in the world that's

1605
01:19:19,560 --> 01:19:23,000
Speaker 1: always marginalizes women. You know what I'm saying, We still

1606
01:19:23,040 --> 01:19:25,679
Speaker 1: exist in the patriarchy. So for me, because we don't

1607
01:19:25,680 --> 01:19:28,240
Speaker 1: know if there's a man or a woman I look

1608
01:19:28,280 --> 01:19:31,120
Speaker 1: at I look at my girl at the time, because

1609
01:19:31,120 --> 01:19:32,880
Speaker 1: you weren't my wife, my girl, and I was just like,

1610
01:19:33,400 --> 01:19:35,760
Speaker 1: I want her to be able to feel comfortable making

1611
01:19:35,800 --> 01:19:38,800
Speaker 1: moves and know when somebody got her. So for me,

1612
01:19:38,880 --> 01:19:40,920
Speaker 1: that's what it was. It wasn't it wasn't even. It

1613
01:19:41,040 --> 01:19:43,839
Speaker 1: was just about being present so that you felt comfortable

1614
01:19:43,880 --> 01:19:46,479
Speaker 1: that if you fell, I was there, or if you

1615
01:19:46,560 --> 01:19:48,639
Speaker 1: need somebody to step in and be a bull going

1616
01:19:48,720 --> 01:19:50,800
Speaker 1: into these things, you had somebody with you. So for me,

1617
01:19:51,400 --> 01:19:53,840
Speaker 1: it wasn't so much about what I could gain, but

1618
01:19:53,960 --> 01:19:56,280
Speaker 1: it was about seeing you actually put in the working

1619
01:19:56,400 --> 01:19:58,000
Speaker 1: and me wanting to be a part of seeing you

1620
01:19:58,120 --> 01:20:00,760
Speaker 1: do your dreams. So I think that's really what it

1621
01:20:00,800 --> 01:20:02,160
Speaker 1: should be. And I don't think it should just be

1622
01:20:02,280 --> 01:20:04,640
Speaker 1: reserved for couples once they get married, because how do

1623
01:20:04,720 --> 01:20:07,960
Speaker 1: you know you're building a foundation with someone before marriage

1624
01:20:08,040 --> 01:20:12,120
Speaker 1: unless you start working before them before then exactly. That's

1625
01:20:12,120 --> 01:20:14,040
Speaker 1: a good point. That's a really good point. I hope

1626
01:20:14,040 --> 01:20:16,920
Speaker 1: that helped you out, y'all. Really good listener letters for today.

1627
01:20:17,320 --> 01:20:19,720
Speaker 1: A nice way to round out this twenty three and

1628
01:20:19,880 --> 01:20:23,320
Speaker 1: Me Report episode. Um, let's give him a moment of truth.

1629
01:20:23,400 --> 01:20:26,120
Speaker 1: But before we do that, make sure if you are

1630
01:20:26,560 --> 01:20:29,000
Speaker 1: trying to be considered as a listener letter email us

1631
01:20:29,080 --> 01:20:31,599
Speaker 1: at dead as Advice at gmail dot com. That's right,

1632
01:20:31,680 --> 01:20:33,880
Speaker 1: that's d E A D A S S A D

1633
01:20:34,040 --> 01:20:38,120
Speaker 1: V I C E at gmail dot com. All right,

1634
01:20:38,439 --> 01:20:41,160
Speaker 1: and moment of truth time. I guess my moment of

1635
01:20:41,200 --> 01:20:43,960
Speaker 1: truth is actually what my initial karaoke song was. I

1636
01:20:44,040 --> 01:20:45,719
Speaker 1: was gonna go do going into this until I found

1637
01:20:45,720 --> 01:20:47,080
Speaker 1: out I was a bad bit from Sri Lankan that

1638
01:20:47,200 --> 01:20:52,280
Speaker 1: changed it. Um. But thinking about Diana Ross and mahogany Um,

1639
01:20:52,360 --> 01:20:54,320
Speaker 1: do you know we're going to do you know the

1640
01:20:54,360 --> 01:20:56,800
Speaker 1: things that life are showing you? Do you know? Do

1641
01:20:56,960 --> 01:20:59,640
Speaker 1: you know? And if you don't know, now you know

1642
01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:04,880
Speaker 1: perfect segue um. But there are resources, there are ways

1643
01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:07,760
Speaker 1: out there for you to find out who you really are,

1644
01:21:07,960 --> 01:21:10,920
Speaker 1: being able to date it back to location, um, dating

1645
01:21:11,000 --> 01:21:14,559
Speaker 1: back to health um. Knowing more and having the tools

1646
01:21:14,600 --> 01:21:18,599
Speaker 1: and the opportunity to be able to advance your knowledge

1647
01:21:19,160 --> 01:21:21,960
Speaker 1: on history, your own history, I mean, even if you're

1648
01:21:21,960 --> 01:21:25,000
Speaker 1: not interested in all the other histories that are happening

1649
01:21:25,439 --> 01:21:27,960
Speaker 1: at least no yours at least nor yours and and

1650
01:21:28,120 --> 01:21:30,160
Speaker 1: and tap into resources that will allow you to do

1651
01:21:30,280 --> 01:21:32,080
Speaker 1: so so you can make the changes you need to

1652
01:21:32,200 --> 01:21:35,479
Speaker 1: make to make this life the best and the healthiest

1653
01:21:35,520 --> 01:21:38,479
Speaker 1: and the longest you can facts. My moment of truth

1654
01:21:38,600 --> 01:21:40,720
Speaker 1: is extremely simple. Shout out to twenty three and me

1655
01:21:41,000 --> 01:21:44,160
Speaker 1: for these beautiful reports. It helped me dive even deeper

1656
01:21:44,240 --> 01:21:48,559
Speaker 1: into the role my ancestors played in what is America?

1657
01:21:49,000 --> 01:21:51,479
Speaker 1: Number one and number two the role they played in

1658
01:21:51,560 --> 01:21:55,080
Speaker 1: who I am today? Both physically knowing why I look

1659
01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:58,160
Speaker 1: the way I look, mentally why um I have the

1660
01:21:58,200 --> 01:22:02,240
Speaker 1: type of fortitude I have also emotionally why I feel

1661
01:22:02,280 --> 01:22:04,080
Speaker 1: so strongly about the things I feel about that going

1662
01:22:04,120 --> 01:22:07,200
Speaker 1: on in the world, but also helping me figure out

1663
01:22:07,200 --> 01:22:09,360
Speaker 1: how I'm going to create a plan to have my

1664
01:22:09,520 --> 01:22:14,560
Speaker 1: children exists in a space that's more um beneficial for

1665
01:22:14,640 --> 01:22:20,360
Speaker 1: them health wise, physically, mentally, and emotionally by understanding what's

1666
01:22:20,439 --> 01:22:24,200
Speaker 1: nature versus nurture and using what I can nurture to

1667
01:22:24,360 --> 01:22:27,719
Speaker 1: make the nature less prominent. Oh that was a word.

1668
01:22:29,640 --> 01:22:32,800
Speaker 1: That was That was a word A little fine as

1669
01:22:32,920 --> 01:22:35,240
Speaker 1: look at you sitting over there, stop playing all right, y'all,

1670
01:22:38,040 --> 01:22:41,160
Speaker 1: just saying okay, this as holding this way together today, baby,

1671
01:22:41,280 --> 01:22:45,160
Speaker 1: Because one thing we are is type. Be sure to

1672
01:22:45,200 --> 01:22:46,920
Speaker 1: follow us on social media you'll if you have not

1673
01:22:47,040 --> 01:22:49,519
Speaker 1: been already, We have the podcast page which is pretty

1674
01:22:49,520 --> 01:22:52,360
Speaker 1: straightforward dead As the Podcast, and then of course you

1675
01:22:52,400 --> 01:22:54,240
Speaker 1: can give me a little follow you know, if you

1676
01:22:54,320 --> 01:22:57,800
Speaker 1: ain't yet. Um cadean I am is my handle on

1677
01:22:58,160 --> 01:23:00,519
Speaker 1: all the social media, that's right, and I m devo

1678
01:23:00,720 --> 01:23:02,479
Speaker 1: on all the social media. And if you're listening on

1679
01:23:02,520 --> 01:23:07,200
Speaker 1: Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe Dead

1680
01:23:07,240 --> 01:23:12,400
Speaker 1: as y'all season nine season dead Ass is a production

1681
01:23:12,439 --> 01:23:15,040
Speaker 1: of I Heart Media podcast Network and is produced by

1682
01:23:15,080 --> 01:23:18,840
Speaker 1: the Noorapinia and Triple Follow the podcast on social media

1683
01:23:18,920 --> 01:23:21,200
Speaker 1: at dead as the Podcast and never miss a Thing