1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,720 Speaker 1: Buckle up, hold on time. We gotta fun here. It 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:07,320 Speaker 1: is the strawberry letta who this is my account? Let's go. No, 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: it's not subject my mom my, Mama. My mom might 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:18,360 Speaker 1: be a side piece, right, dear Stephen Shirley And oh 5 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:23,000 Speaker 1: hey Tommy, that's what it says. Hey Tommy, Okay, let's 6 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:28,840 Speaker 1: get to it. I don't think so, though, I think 7 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,520 Speaker 1: you will. I think you'll find something different in this letter. 8 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 1: My mom is fifty two years old and she's been 9 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:38,840 Speaker 1: dating this guy for ten years. He's very good to her. 10 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,199 Speaker 1: He winds and dines her and spoils her with gifts 11 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: and money. He also attends our family events and holiday 12 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,840 Speaker 1: celebrations with her. Whenever I need anything, he's been there 13 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: for me. So here's my issue. He lives three hours away, 14 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: and when he comes to visit my mom, he rarely 15 00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: stays a full weekend with her at our at her house. 16 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 1: He has two children, but my mother has never met them. 17 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,400 Speaker 1: He says he is divorced, but I don't believe him. 18 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:09,960 Speaker 1: My mom has visited him many times, but she's only 19 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: stayed at his condo once. He's a doctor, and he 20 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 1: worked long hours and he's often on call on the weekend. 21 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,600 Speaker 1: Because of this, he insists that he stay at a 22 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 1: closer hotel, at a hotel closer to the hospital, just 23 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,400 Speaker 1: in case he has to rush into work. She usually 24 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,679 Speaker 1: talks to him when he's at his office, and he 25 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:33,720 Speaker 1: always calls from a blocked number. He rarely calls her 26 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,800 Speaker 1: from his cell phone. That just doesn't sound right to me. 27 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: How is my mom okay with that? And why does 28 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,440 Speaker 1: she get upset? Why don't Why does she get upset 29 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: when I bring it up? My mom is a very 30 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 1: smart woman, and she's usually a great judge of character. 31 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 1: So Code Cracker, please tell me how I can get 32 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: through to my mom. I don't want her to waste 33 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:58,800 Speaker 1: another ten years of her life on this man. Please help. Well, 34 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: I gotta tell you this. Do you love your mom? 35 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: That's quite obvious. Uh. You want the best for your mom, 36 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,520 Speaker 1: just like I'm sure your mom would want the best 37 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:11,160 Speaker 1: for you as her daughter. But this is your mom's 38 00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,320 Speaker 1: business and you're her daughter. You know you're gonna have 39 00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 1: to stay out of your mom's business. You can suggest 40 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 1: and let her know how you feel, but this is 41 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,160 Speaker 1: your mom's issue. I mean, you know what's up. I 42 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: think you're very insightful as a daughter. Guess what your 43 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 1: mom knows what's up to? She really does, she knows, 44 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,080 Speaker 1: but after being in it for ten years, and yes, 45 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:38,080 Speaker 1: she's known it for quite some time. Ten years, she's 46 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 1: in it. Okay, she's used to it. She doesn't want 47 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: to stop it. She doesn't want to leave, she doesn't 48 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 1: want to change her life. This is a life she's 49 00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: become accustomed to. She's she's become accustomed to and grown into. 50 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,600 Speaker 1: She's comfortable with this life. As parents, yes, we said 51 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: examples for our kids, we do your daughter. Uh, you 52 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,639 Speaker 1: as her daughter, You're you're seeing her actions loudly and clearly. 53 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 1: You're wondering where her self respect is. You're wondering how 54 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: and why she signed up for this situation. Uh. Yeah, 55 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 1: it sounds clear that this man is married. Your mom 56 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:13,160 Speaker 1: has never met his kids after ten years. You know, 57 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 1: the hotel situation where he stays, the excuse he gives 58 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 1: her for staying at the hotel. All of that sounds 59 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,679 Speaker 1: like this is a married man and your mom is 60 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: a side piece. But only your mom can decide, you know, 61 00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:27,320 Speaker 1: whether or not she wants to get out. All you 62 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 1: can do is her daughter is suggested, But you know 63 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,639 Speaker 1: she's a mom, you're the daughter. You got to stay 64 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 1: out of her business, Steve, Well, my mom may be 65 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:39,680 Speaker 1: the side piece. Well, all right, your mama fifty two 66 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: years old, she growned, she knows what's going on. She's 67 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: been dating a guy for ten years. He's very good 68 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 1: to her. He winds and downs spoils with gifts and money. 69 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: He also now here's He also attends how family events 70 00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 1: and holiday celebrations with her. Come on, wow, that is 71 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: a usually a telltale sign that a man is married. 72 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:05,600 Speaker 1: When you never see him at the family events, and 73 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 1: you never see him at the holiday celebrations, that's usually 74 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:16,880 Speaker 1: the telltale sign. But he's at these events, and I 75 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:21,039 Speaker 1: know why. Whenever I need anything, he's been there for me. 76 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:24,880 Speaker 1: So here's my issue. He lives three hours away. When 77 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: he comes to visit my mom, he rarely stays a 78 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: full weekend with her at her house. He has two children, 79 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 1: but my mother has never met them. He says he's divorced, 80 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,720 Speaker 1: but I don't believe him. My mom has visited him 81 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:41,679 Speaker 1: many times, but she's only stayed at his condo once. 82 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: He's a doctor. He works long hours and he's often 83 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:49,560 Speaker 1: on calls on the weekend. Because of this, he insists 84 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 1: that he stayed at a hotel closer to the hospital 85 00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,080 Speaker 1: just in case he has to rush you in to work. 86 00:04:55,120 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 1: Good doctor, right now, let's stop right here, back up 87 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: a little bit. If he's so concerned with being called 88 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,560 Speaker 1: in to work, therefore he stays at the hottestpital hotel 89 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:12,279 Speaker 1: closer to the hospital, why didn't he buy his condo 90 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:16,919 Speaker 1: so far away from the hospital. If that's your concern, 91 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,800 Speaker 1: you would have bought a house closer to the damn hospital. 92 00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:24,359 Speaker 1: But it's only a concern when you come to visit 93 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:27,880 Speaker 1: and you've been to the condo once. That's because all 94 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:32,479 Speaker 1: the coast was clear that one time. He lives three 95 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,960 Speaker 1: hours away when he visited. He rarely stays in four 96 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:40,320 Speaker 1: weekend because he then told somebody he on call down 97 00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:47,839 Speaker 1: at the hospital. That's what that is. He attends family 98 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: boots and holiday celebrations with hub because he's a doctor, 99 00:05:55,680 --> 00:06:00,600 Speaker 1: and you can say I'm on call. I'm working over 100 00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: the holidays, so you can make it if you a doctor. Now, 101 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,479 Speaker 1: somebody back at the house has had to understand this 102 00:06:09,839 --> 00:06:15,159 Speaker 1: because they are the beneficiary of a wonderful lifestyle. So 103 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,480 Speaker 1: they putting up with it. Now, your mama is also 104 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:22,800 Speaker 1: a beneficiary of a wonderful lifestyle, so she putting up 105 00:06:22,839 --> 00:06:25,919 Speaker 1: with it. I want you to know that everybody know 106 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: what's going on except his wife. Oh did I say 107 00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:37,479 Speaker 1: why everybody know what's going on except the wife, because 108 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:45,599 Speaker 1: more certainly knows. I hope I'll be bamay just killing 109 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 1: this man life perfectly. Let me get back to this letter. 110 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: Unlike who is not the thanking this person I've ever met, 111 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,720 Speaker 1: who was insisting that I'm killing this man's wonderful life, 112 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 1: I totally disagree. I just hope you never any medical assistance. 113 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:09,480 Speaker 1: This man's life will continue just the way it is, 114 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,480 Speaker 1: because the only one that has to keep going along 115 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 1: with this is this letter writer's mama, who is fifty 116 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,760 Speaker 1: two years old, who already know what's going on, and 117 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: the reason she's angry with her daughter When her daughter 118 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:29,880 Speaker 1: brings it up, she gets upset because now you know 119 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:34,800 Speaker 1: what she knows, and she don't want to deal with it, 120 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 1: which you she wants to deal with this problem in 121 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: situation all her own. This man is giving her lifestyle 122 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 1: moments of happiness that she's unable to find anywhere else 123 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 1: and she'll never find it anywhere else because you'll never 124 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: be able to meet mister Wright. Why are you dating 125 00:07:54,920 --> 00:08:00,080 Speaker 1: mister wrong? So look, Tommy, regardless as to how you 126 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,640 Speaker 1: want to put this, let me try to save your 127 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 1: marriage for you mess this up. Joe, stupid Ann just 128 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 1: shut up. It is because he always want to be 129 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,240 Speaker 1: supportive of the cheetah. Then when one of them getting busted. 130 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 1: Now he looking at all crazy to talking about what 131 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:22,640 Speaker 1: he did wrong. This man right here, this fifty two 132 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:26,559 Speaker 1: year old woman knows what's going on with this. Ten 133 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:30,239 Speaker 1: years of dating a divorced man and you ain't met 134 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,760 Speaker 1: his kids yet. Come on, in ten years, you mean 135 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 1: that none of the holiday and none of the family reunions, 136 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: family events have you met this get What do you want? 137 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:44,520 Speaker 1: What do the cheering have to do with their relationship? 138 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:52,680 Speaker 1: That is cheering, the cheering, it's just another issue which 139 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 1: solidifies what the daughter is thinking, that something is wrong 140 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,520 Speaker 1: that you dated a man for ten years and never 141 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:02,080 Speaker 1: met his kids and he divorce. You would think a 142 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,120 Speaker 1: man who was in love with you would want to say, hey, kids, 143 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 1: I want you all to meet this woman that i'm 144 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,760 Speaker 1: in love with. I'm considering having a life with her. 145 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,199 Speaker 1: But he ain't gonna make that announcement because he can't 146 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,880 Speaker 1: have a life with her because he got a life 147 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: with your mama. Yep, now you get it, nephew, You're 148 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 1: stupid Stephen Man right now now, whatever I need anything, 149 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,720 Speaker 1: he's always been there for me. Yeah, that's why you've 150 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:33,079 Speaker 1: let it go on so long. Oh letter writer, you 151 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,560 Speaker 1: got something to do with this too, because it was 152 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:41,319 Speaker 1: good to you. Na you didn't got a little bit 153 00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: older and you ready to stop. But the problem is 154 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 1: it's easy for you to stop because you ain't in 155 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:51,280 Speaker 1: love with the doctor, but your mama is. Though. The 156 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,200 Speaker 1: fact that he lives three away, three hours away, ain't 157 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 1: got nothing to do it. He say he divorced, but 158 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 1: I don't believe him. Your mama don't know. Your mama 159 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:04,439 Speaker 1: know he ain't divorce, but your mama liked what she's eating. 160 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: He's a doctor, he worked long now, a good doctor. 161 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,320 Speaker 1: Why does she get upset when I bring it up? 162 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,679 Speaker 1: I told you that my mom is a very smart woman. 163 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: Now when she thinking with her heart, only when she 164 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 1: thinking with her head, is she's smart? So Cole Cracker, 165 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,480 Speaker 1: please tell me how I can get this through to 166 00:10:23,559 --> 00:10:26,679 Speaker 1: this my mom. You can't your mom in love. Your 167 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:30,079 Speaker 1: mama noticed. I got news for you. Your mama actually 168 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:36,200 Speaker 1: smarter than you. Ain't til she Until you get sick 169 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,040 Speaker 1: and tired of being sick and tired. Ain't nothing gonna 170 00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: change you. Ain't, Craig, No damn cold all right, Steve, listen, 171 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:47,359 Speaker 1: we gotta go well enough alone? Email us her Instagram. 172 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,199 Speaker 1: What's your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter at My Girls 173 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,320 Speaker 1: Shirley and check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand 174 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 1: you're listening