Speaker 1: Calm Down with Aaron and Carissa is a production of
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio. Well this isn't gonna happen to you,
Speaker 1: but you bring everything? Do you bring your own toothpaste?
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Calm Down Podcast. Yes, I like a
Speaker 1: white ening toothpaste. They don't have that in the hotels.
Speaker 1: I bring cress strips, but I used that. I used
Speaker 1: the toothpaste from the little samples because the three I
Speaker 1: don't have the three ounce toothpaste when traveling. Mine's always
Speaker 1: big CBS or Target, but mine's always It's like. I
Speaker 1: also bring my own lotion because I don't find the
Speaker 1: lotion in hotels hydrating. There's a couple of hotels I
Speaker 1: find it to be very hydrating. But I also don't
Speaker 1: want to smell like my coworkers. I like to have
Speaker 1: my own smell. Oh my gosh, you're so prepared. Anyway,
Speaker 1: So I went and checked into this hotel. I asked
Speaker 1: for the toothpaste. They only had one. I am squeezing
Speaker 1: one drop of the toothpaste out of there. Then I
Speaker 1: gotta go wake up extra early in the morning, go
Speaker 1: to CVS by the toothpaste, and I gotta throw the
Speaker 1: toothpaste away. Because it's over the three ounces. I'm still
Speaker 1: not t s a pre check as we know, we'll
Speaker 1: get to that later. And it's a conundrum. Yeah, or
Speaker 1: you could just postmates toothpaste to your what place? You
Speaker 1: could postmates toothpaste to your hotel room. I've never done
Speaker 1: that in my life. You don't need like a quick
Speaker 1: tampon on the road or something. By the way, did
Speaker 1: you hear about this? The shortage? And even I don't
Speaker 1: get my period anyway, I know you know you don't. Well,
Speaker 1: there's a shortage. I was having a long conversation. Why
Speaker 1: is there a short God? Well, I don't know it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get into it. I have no idea.
Speaker 1: There's a shortage. I don't know. If it's political, I
Speaker 1: don't want to touch it. I don't know. But what
Speaker 1: I don't want to shortage on that. So today I'm
Speaker 1: a hoarder. I'm not gonna lie. I went to the aisle.
Speaker 1: I'm a little concerned. It's not that time a month
Speaker 1: for me, but I did go to get a box
Speaker 1: because I'm a little worried. So I went. There is
Speaker 1: clearly not refills happening on that aisle, which that is
Speaker 1: just so it is cruel if this happens, like, give
Speaker 1: me a break, get our lives together, what are we doing? Ship?
Speaker 1: Enough is enough? Plus also the baby formula than YadA YadA, YadA,
Speaker 1: I've got I'm a hoarder. I got a basket full
Speaker 1: of a couple of boxes and I was trying to
Speaker 1: make a quick exit at a target. And as I
Speaker 1: was doing it, this guy's like, hey, are you Aaron Andrews?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm Aaron Andrews. I have three boxes
Speaker 1: and tampons. But because I'm a hoarder, if there was
Speaker 1: every time you don't want to be recognized, it's with
Speaker 1: the tampons. Have you ever made a boyfriend in the
Speaker 1: past by tampons? No? I haven't either, But I just wonder,
Speaker 1: like the guy, Yeah, but that's a confident man that's like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take the two boxes of super from my
Speaker 1: gall at home. Would do it. He would oreos and
Speaker 1: throw it in there. This guy today, he's having a
Speaker 1: bowl of Lucky Charms. I mean, I'm like, baby, do
Speaker 1: you want to look how many calories are in it?
Speaker 1: I look at it, it's like a hundred ninety goes. Well,
Speaker 1: how much is in your multigrain like cereal? Mine had
Speaker 1: two d in't it? And he goes, well, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to eat the marshmallows. So he's picking through it
Speaker 1: because he goes, it's too sugary, and I want mine
Speaker 1: to be less in calories. In you what forty year
Speaker 1: old man is eating lucky charms? Gross Scott Thompson. Scott
Speaker 1: Thompson loves some lucky charms and I'm not mad at that,
Speaker 1: and I think it's adorable that he buys it. The
Speaker 1: calorie things very interesting. An entire bag of halapino chips
Speaker 1: the other day. It was two calories, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm disgusting, but it didn't feel like that much. I
Speaker 1: was like, to eighty for this entire bag. This seems great.
Speaker 1: I have a freaking perfect bar in the morning and
Speaker 1: that things three. The difference is that sodium. You go
Speaker 1: straight to the six milligrams of sodium and I wake
Speaker 1: up in the morning. Why do I not have rings on? Well,
Speaker 1: for a lot of reasons, but because my hands are swollen,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Yeah, I'm going to be
Speaker 1: better about it, but I'm just so bad because I
Speaker 1: either go one way or the other we were talking
Speaker 1: Ryan just d md us in our little chat here
Speaker 1: about expiration date. We talked about that a couple of
Speaker 1: pre games ago. We my husband loves to freeze everything
Speaker 1: and even if it's has the expiration date, it's like, man,
Speaker 1: we gotta get read of this. Um, do you have
Speaker 1: a question about expiration Well, sir, so, I I'm really bad.
Speaker 1: I mean, I live by myself, so I'm not grocery shopping.
Speaker 1: So it's one of those things. And I also don't
Speaker 1: I know myself. We also talked about this a few
Speaker 1: free games ago or on one of our podcasts. I
Speaker 1: fluctuate weight all the time. I mean, just ask the Internet.
Speaker 1: I am large and in Shorge I used to say
Speaker 1: big ten Carissa. I mean I could have been an
Speaker 1: offensive lineman with josh on Kin, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So I get that if it's in my house, I'm
Speaker 1: probably gonna eat it. So I don't want to have
Speaker 1: crap in my house that I know I'm gonna eat.
Speaker 1: You know. So I make coffee the other day and
Speaker 1: I go to for the cream and and I'm not
Speaker 1: I'm not looking at the cream coming out of the creamer.
Speaker 1: You heard no, no, but I wish I did, so
Speaker 1: I pour it in there. Fine, I'm just like doing
Speaker 1: something else. I go and take a step and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: that doesn't what's going on? Aaron King Andrews. I look
Speaker 1: in the creamer and you know, when you can see
Speaker 1: and from where the hole is into the side, there
Speaker 1: is mold all around the inside perimeter of this creamer.
Speaker 1: I did you, Barth. I wanted to, and I almost
Speaker 1: made myself throw up, but I was like, no, I can't.
Speaker 1: That's so hard to do. But I was like, this
Speaker 1: is so disgusting. Mold just laden around the interior of
Speaker 1: this thing. I don't know how long it had been
Speaker 1: in there. I looked at the expiration date long overdue, okay.
Speaker 1: And there's times where I questioned, like, hey, is a
Speaker 1: couple of days too many? Maybe this is months. I
Speaker 1: lost five pounds. I felt great, but no, I mean
Speaker 1: it was not the way that I wanted. Did your
Speaker 1: stomach get upset very upset? Immediately? No, not immediately, but
Speaker 1: pretty close after. I'm not kidding. This isn't like a
Speaker 1: little mold on a strawberry that you don't see. We're
Speaker 1: talking like compounded against there. I've I actually have never
Speaker 1: had that to me, and I was so gre I
Speaker 1: actually thought I'd get like really really sick from it.
Speaker 1: And I just like h king, yeah, so that wasn't
Speaker 1: probably salmonella. Point, how do you say that Salomon salmonella? No,
Speaker 1: it was what do you think that poison? That was dairy?
Speaker 1: So we just molded like it had been in there
Speaker 1: for so long. And I was not paying attention because
Speaker 1: normally I get coffee like when I'm like on the
Speaker 1: go I don't say on the go cosa, but not
Speaker 1: at home. And I was trying to be like, oh,
Speaker 1: there's no reason I can't make it at home, not
Speaker 1: paying attention, pouring pouring, sip, sip sip. It doesn't taste right.
Speaker 1: So everyone, as a Surgeon General's warning, check your expliration date.
Speaker 1: But what is that date? Is it one week? I mean,
Speaker 1: my situation was terrible, but is it? I think a
Speaker 1: week is a little generous. I mean, I'm even like
Speaker 1: one or two days, I'm okay, but give it a
Speaker 1: good smell and maybe a glance inside. You know. Well,
Speaker 1: from now on, I'm gonna check my list what is
Speaker 1: the and check it twice? And checking it twice, I
Speaker 1: thought I was gonna work there. You know, when you
Speaker 1: get creamer like um, like a coconut creamer or an
Speaker 1: almond creamer, it lasts longer than like the real Like
Speaker 1: you're a coconut belt gal. I'm not, I'm I'm I'm yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm straight creamer. But you know what, at this point,
Speaker 1: I might want to change the last thing that was
Speaker 1: on my list. This has been a long list deleting people.
Speaker 1: I realized that I am following that current count wait
Speaker 1: for it on Instagram to one thousand, five hundred and
Speaker 1: fifty six people. One thousand, five hundred sixty six people.
Speaker 1: I don't know one thousand, five hundred sixty six people,
Speaker 1: and I don't know a hundred and fifty six people.
Speaker 1: What's your number again, one thousand, five hundred sixty six.
Speaker 1: I'm at one thousand, two hundred and seventy one. Right.
Speaker 1: I could definitely eat out if you can, I know.
Speaker 1: So I started going on there because I was like,
Speaker 1: this is crazy, because I'm always curious about these people
Speaker 1: that followed no one or one person, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what's coming up in the feet? What algorithm is going
Speaker 1: on here? Because I feel like I just get the
Speaker 1: same ten people circulating, So I was like, maybe if
Speaker 1: we narrow this down, which those ten people are great?
Speaker 1: But why I don't know how all the math and
Speaker 1: algorithm algorithms work. But I just started on following. And
Speaker 1: then I thought to myself, are you worry about people
Speaker 1: thinking you're a bit because I just do? Yeah, I
Speaker 1: do the mute if it's people like that we're going
Speaker 1: to run into and I don't really need it anymore.
Speaker 1: I just mute. Interesting, Yeah, you're not willing to do
Speaker 1: the full unfollow Huh? I feel bad? I know, well
Speaker 1: this is the conundrum. So I was like, do I
Speaker 1: feel bad? And I'm like, you know what, no, because
Speaker 1: my mom has an expression, not everyone likes you. You
Speaker 1: don't have to like everyone. And it's not like I
Speaker 1: don't necessarily like these people. I'm just like, I don't
Speaker 1: need to follow a thousand, five hundred and sixty six people,
Speaker 1: do I Then half the I'm like, I don't even
Speaker 1: know half of these people are did I accidentally hit it?
Speaker 1: You know? The accident will follow, and then you can't
Speaker 1: un follow because then they're going to think you're mean.
Speaker 1: You're like whoa or the drunk follow when you meet
Speaker 1: someone at a party and you think they're so great
Speaker 1: and you're like, oh my god, I really want to
Speaker 1: stop following this person. But you know that they check.
Speaker 1: Or there's the people that follow on follow, follow on follow,
Speaker 1: and it's like, we can see what you're doing. By
Speaker 1: the way, get a lightly, we know the weekend of coffee.
Speaker 1: Go become a barristo. My god, I'll give you by
Speaker 1: apron anyone that's willing to do. You know what, I
Speaker 1: got a chip brevet. You know what brevet is? When
Speaker 1: I worked at Starbucks half and half, it was all
Speaker 1: the craze when Atkins Diet was there. I would you
Speaker 1: say brevet Latte. Yeah. I worked in Newport um California,
Speaker 1: and Atkins Diet was all the rage and a lot
Speaker 1: of Brevet Latte's rolled through that place. This was before
Speaker 1: the computerized mobile thing. So I used to do like
Speaker 1: a smiley face on people's cups and like I got
Speaker 1: so excited when I knew people's orders, and then they
Speaker 1: were so excited I knew their order, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: half a splenda. Sometimes when I was just feeling sassy,
Speaker 1: I do the whole splendor and I'm like, she's what
Speaker 1: kind of tips would you get at Starbucks? And good
Speaker 1: people kind of slide you extra instead of put it
Speaker 1: in the main thing. How does that go? And how
Speaker 1: many phone numbers did you get? WHOA? It's a great
Speaker 1: questionnaire and these are all great questions. This is why
Speaker 1: you're great at your job. We had communal tips, so
Speaker 1: we like group like no one just got one tip,
Speaker 1: which is very upsetting. And as anyone that's been a
Speaker 1: server or you know whatever, bartender and you have to
Speaker 1: share tips, I don't like the share tips. I'm doing
Speaker 1: a lot of work over here. I'm making a connection,
Speaker 1: I'm establishing a relationship, offering a lot of service, and
Speaker 1: Timmy over here is not doing anything. So now Timmy
Speaker 1: is gonna get more money because I'm a great server. No, no,
Speaker 1: I want to do away with the communal tip. You
Speaker 1: know what else? I want to do away with this
Speaker 1: gratuity thing in Miami. This is crazy. You're gonna just
Speaker 1: build in gratuity so you don't have to even try.
Speaker 1: I don't know what this is. What is this? I
Speaker 1: swear every time I go to Miami. And it's not
Speaker 1: just Miami. There's other places that have built in gratuity.
Speaker 1: So you gotta check because it's room service, does it.
Speaker 1: They built in the gratuity. Check you gotta check. They
Speaker 1: build in the gratuity. And so then you say to
Speaker 1: yourself like, and I say out loud so they don't
Speaker 1: think I'm being cheap. Is gratuity included? They're like, yeah, already,
Speaker 1: we haven't done twenty of the work. And I'm saying,
Speaker 1: this is a former servey. You gotta try. You gotta
Speaker 1: earn the gratuity. Now we're just giving it away. You're
Speaker 1: not trying, You're not offering great service. And now if
Speaker 1: I don't do the additional gratuity, now I'm the asshole.
Speaker 1: So I put a big zero through the additional gratuity
Speaker 1: because now now we're getting up to I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: back to waiting tables make more money doing that alone.
Speaker 1: You know, you know what I'm following. But I'm dying
Speaker 1: to ask you this question because I am I don't
Speaker 1: like public restrooms. You know what restroom is? Foul owl
Speaker 1: is a coffee shop restroom? What's the code? Well, not
Speaker 1: only the code, but what does coffee do? It makes
Speaker 1: you have to go and then like people are doing
Speaker 1: that there at the coffee restaurant and an incredible observation shop.
Speaker 1: And I can't imagine working there when you're putting in
Speaker 1: a five to six eight hour shift and it's like
Speaker 1: you can't hold it for that long. I mean I
Speaker 1: hold it for a whole football game, but like I
Speaker 1: can't imagine trying to hold it. Well, I guess I do.
Speaker 1: I answer my own questions. I don't want to go
Speaker 1: in the football like the officials bathroom. But what what
Speaker 1: would you do? I'm just gonna say it. Here's where
Speaker 1: I'm at. You use your under hoar twice a day,
Speaker 1: you might as well say this, Hey, I don't want
Speaker 1: to check it back. Okay, I shower a lout. If
Speaker 1: you go into that bathroom and you gotta do what
Speaker 1: you gotta do, and then you know there's a line
Speaker 1: out there. You go in and you know to your
Speaker 1: you know, and you say to yourself, how am I
Speaker 1: gonna get out of this? You walk in, do what
Speaker 1: you gotta do. I'm working. It is what is always
Speaker 1: wash your hand, of course, dinge wash your hands. You
Speaker 1: walk out and you go, WHOA someone before me really
Speaker 1: did a number? And there you pass it off. You
Speaker 1: pass off the responsibility and someone else you go. I'm
Speaker 1: so all right, but like I don't know someone was
Speaker 1: here before did this. You gotta pass it off and
Speaker 1: then you wash that hand passing off. But it's just
Speaker 1: so dirty. I don't but you know that or or
Speaker 1: or what's even worse, This happens on airplanes all the time.
Speaker 1: You know you didn't. I have never hand to God
Speaker 1: and or whoever you believe in me, never went to
Speaker 1: the bathroom number two on an airplane. Never say never.
Speaker 1: Never I know who's done it because then I'm waiting.
Speaker 1: And now now I'm talking to the flight attendant that's
Speaker 1: sitting in the jump seat. Now I'm saying, is this
Speaker 1: are you on the last leg of your trip? Are
Speaker 1: you just starting your trip? Is this a three day
Speaker 1: I know everything about this woman or man by the
Speaker 1: time this person is out of the bathroom. And now
Speaker 1: twice I stood here exactly And I don't want any
Speaker 1: more of those honeygrams or those sea salt chips because
Speaker 1: I'm already very swollen. Can we switch up? We switch
Speaker 1: up the snacks? Why always the same snacks? I I
Speaker 1: want to see the goldfish. I don't want during COVID
Speaker 1: if I saw one more goddamn bag of cheese. It's
Speaker 1: I swear to God, I swear to God, or the
Speaker 1: snack box I don't want. I don't want the straw
Speaker 1: stick stick who's using that? We do not have to
Speaker 1: test anymore to come into the United States, And you
Speaker 1: know what that means. United You sure ship can get
Speaker 1: your lemons and your lives back because lemons and lives
Speaker 1: are not carrying COVID. You better get those lemons and lives.
Speaker 1: But whenever we're like, we can offer you wine, but
Speaker 1: no diet coke? What what I can't get a diet coke?
Speaker 1: And you're very containous. I mean, this is insane. So
Speaker 1: bringing it back to the guy or girl that's just
Speaker 1: taken a long time in there, Okay, I've now applied
Speaker 1: for the job at Delta. It's been so long. I
Speaker 1: love jobs. I'll take another. I'd like to keep my
Speaker 1: dying SATs forever. And I know they walk out and
Speaker 1: I look at them, like, are you fucking kidding me?
Speaker 1: Now I gotta walk in, And now I'm looking around
Speaker 1: and like every time, this wasn't me, this was not
Speaker 1: me doing this. And it's small and it's condensed, and
Speaker 1: it's very hot when you walk in there and you
Speaker 1: know why, and I do not like it. Now, if
Speaker 1: you've got to go to the bathroom at Starbucks and
Speaker 1: you asked for that code, it's very embarrassing when you
Speaker 1: forgot the code on the way to the bathroom and
Speaker 1: you're like, what was the code? Again? We make that
Speaker 1: code up? Do we know? I don't know, but I
Speaker 1: don't like punching the numbers and I used. Oh and
Speaker 1: then the foot, always with the foot to flush that
Speaker 1: thing you're never touching that never touched the flusher ever.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Ryan just sent us some more topics,
Speaker 1: like we haven't lost our audience yet, CTS messy makeup bag.
Speaker 1: She hasn't cleaned it up yet. What happened? Somebody? Something broke?
Speaker 1: You're still using up powder? Huh? Is it that? Your
Speaker 1: your Charlotte Tillbury thing with all the flavors and now
Speaker 1: the one and when she says flavors, it's one stop chopping.
Speaker 1: We got the shadow, we got the highlighter, we've got
Speaker 1: the bronzer, and we've got the blush. And then here's
Speaker 1: how I like to do my makeup. I gonna do
Speaker 1: a makeup to Torial one day. And it's gonna go
Speaker 1: something like this. She actually, no matter where we are,
Speaker 1: she'll be in a star by bathroom and she'll whip
Speaker 1: it out. I don't know how to do my makeup,
Speaker 1: but I know that, Hey, if I just swirl those
Speaker 1: brushes all together, we're gonna get some bronzer. We're gonna
Speaker 1: go on the jawline. We're going down on the deck.
Speaker 1: Now a sudden, there's sparkles everywhere because the shadows, that
Speaker 1: tiny little that tiny little square with shadows. Now we
Speaker 1: got glitter everywhere. But I love that mirror. That's a
Speaker 1: big mirror. You don't know what you're doing in those
Speaker 1: tiny little compacts anyways. Mine can't be trusted with a
Speaker 1: mirror that big. No, I can't be trusted. No, you
Speaker 1: can't be trusted. But I I prefer or well, the
Speaker 1: makeup bag, you know, the freaking on the airplane. Now
Speaker 1: we've got the I'm gonna use the wrong word. What
Speaker 1: is it, the compression like the something. It busts it
Speaker 1: can altitude, whatever it is, it can, it can bust
Speaker 1: the stupid foundation. So now it's exploded everywhere. Now I'm
Speaker 1: digging around in there. The brushes were already dirty, which
Speaker 1: I needed to clean them fine, and I wonder why
Speaker 1: I broke out. But now I'm picking up the lip
Speaker 1: gloss and I'm wiping the foundation off the side of
Speaker 1: the lip gloss, and we're going under here. I think
Speaker 1: the moral of the story is here. I take a
Speaker 1: lot of showers, but I'm dirty in the other areas well.
Speaker 1: We are fully aware, especially if you listen to our
Speaker 1: last episode about how to pack for a game. Now
Speaker 1: I am so clear. I'm just saying, like, I gotta
Speaker 1: clean the makeup bag, you know I do. I gotta.
Speaker 1: I gotta clean my beauty blunder. Maybe that's why I
Speaker 1: have a trail of acne down my face. Stop picking
Speaker 1: is why. And this is someone who used to pick
Speaker 1: a lot. But the pressurized cabin, thank you, Ryan. The
Speaker 1: pressurized cabin is what. Now it's combusting and now it's
Speaker 1: going everywhere. And it's always that expensive foundation, the one
Speaker 1: I didn't want to buy, that that that that that
Speaker 1: lip gloss, that neutrogena, and that cover Girl make it
Speaker 1: through that I've had since high school. Speaking of an
Speaker 1: expiration date, what's the expiration date on the old mask era?
Speaker 1: I think when it starts to pick up a scent.
Speaker 1: That's when it's bad. And I'm actually really really sensitive
Speaker 1: about mascara and timelines and expiration days because I was
Speaker 1: kind of a pink eye gal in college. I got
Speaker 1: pink eye a lot. No, not for I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just got pink eye a lot. And a lot
Speaker 1: of people think, oh, it's like back to the bathroom talk.
Speaker 1: It's whatever in your eye. That's not what it was.
Speaker 1: I just think, also, why I will never touch my finger.
Speaker 1: I cannot stand when people put their freaking fingers in
Speaker 1: their eyes clean their eyes with their fingers. It's so gross,
Speaker 1: it's so nasty. So why am I popping my face?
Speaker 1: No idea. I can't stand biting the fingers. Fingers in
Speaker 1: your mouth, fingers in your eyes. It makes me want
Speaker 1: to COVID freaks me out about that. I'm gonna sorry.
Speaker 1: You're you put your fingers in your mouth. You do,
Speaker 1: but it's your nails, that's what you do. And there's
Speaker 1: so much ship in your nails. Man, You're right, it's
Speaker 1: it's not your nails, but you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But I am very cognizant of like, look that clear, look,
Speaker 1: Look how good that look? But this one I know
Speaker 1: you're right. It's um. I don't like nervous habits, but
Speaker 1: I think I just do it because I think it is.
Speaker 1: It's disgusting. I gotta go clean up my pick in
Speaker 1: my face. Hey fuck, um, and I have another job,
Speaker 1: and you've got to go sell some high waisted cropped
Speaker 1: fans and work. Oh my god, UM, love you and
Speaker 1: this has been fun. And I understand if you guys
Speaker 1: want to unfollow me, because I'm probably on following you,
Speaker 1: you know, just mute him. They won't know. They never
Speaker 1: are here. Calm Down with Aaron and Chrissa is a
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my
Speaker 1: heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast,
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.