Speaker 1: Hey everyone, it's Jay Sheddy and I'm thrilled to announce
Speaker 1: my podcast tour. For the first time ever, you can
Speaker 1: experience on Purpose in person. Join me in a city
Speaker 1: near you for meaningful, insightful conversations with surprise guests. It
Speaker 1: could be a celebrity, top wellness expert, or a CEO
Speaker 1: or business leader. We'll dive into experiences designed to experience growth,
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Speaker 1: Head to Jysheddy dot me forward slash tour and get
Speaker 1: yours today. Are you busy but doing all the wrong things?
Speaker 1: Think about this for a second. The number one health
Speaker 1: and wellness podcast Jay Setty Jay sheddyt Hey everyone, welcome
Speaker 1: back to On Purpose. I'm your host, Jay Chatty, and
Speaker 1: I'm so grateful that you're back here to listen, learn
Speaker 1: and grow. Now today I'm going to talk to you
Speaker 1: about how you can become more successful than ninety percent
Speaker 1: of people. Most of us believe that the people who
Speaker 1: achieve greatness, the people who do amazing things, are special,
Speaker 1: that in some way they're different from us. And here's
Speaker 1: the reality. They're different in their consistency, they're different in
Speaker 1: their creativity, they're different in their work ethic. But at
Speaker 1: the core, they're not different. I believe this myself. For years,
Speaker 1: I used to always think I'm not made for more.
Speaker 1: I don't think I can achieve that. I don't think
Speaker 1: i'm good enough. Things like that never happen to me.
Speaker 1: And I'm guessing that you've said some things to yourself
Speaker 1: multiple times. How many times have you actually had an
Speaker 1: amazing opportunity? You get invited to a potential client's dinner
Speaker 1: and you don't even show up because you're so scared
Speaker 1: of ruining it, you don't even try. Or what about this?
Speaker 1: Someone says to you, you know what, I know you're
Speaker 1: trying to get good at website design. I'll actually pay
Speaker 1: you to do it, and you say, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I'll just do it for free because I'm not that experienced.
Speaker 1: We sabotage ourselves, we sell ourselves short, and we don't
Speaker 1: build even when opportunities are coming. This is why I
Speaker 1: truly believe that all of us have had opportunities We've
Speaker 1: had moments where we could have been better, performed better,
Speaker 1: had opportunities to grow, but we weren't ready for them.
Speaker 1: And it's because we're not doing what the ten percent,
Speaker 1: what the five percent, what the one percent are doing.
Speaker 1: And that's today is all about. I want to walk
Speaker 1: you through the tools, through the ideas, through the insights
Speaker 1: that you may miss, that you may not notice. Maybe
Speaker 1: you didn't grow up around an entrepreneur, maybe you didn't
Speaker 1: grow up around a high achiever and you didn't get
Speaker 1: the opportunity to learn this from them. I believe that productivity, effectiveness,
Speaker 1: and achievement are all possible for you and for me.
Speaker 1: And here's what I want you to do. I want
Speaker 1: you to get your notebook out and if you're walking,
Speaker 1: if you're running, if you're at the gym, don't worry.
Speaker 1: Just take a screenshot of the moments I mentioned things
Speaker 1: that you know you need to come back to. And
Speaker 1: this is one of those episodes that you're going to
Speaker 1: want to send to a friend, a family member, because
Speaker 1: I want you to share the insights so you get
Speaker 1: better at practicing them. Here's the first one. If I
Speaker 1: told you that to become more successful than ninety percent
Speaker 1: of people. You had to focus on one thing, and
Speaker 1: that one thing was patterns. Would you believe me? Would
Speaker 1: you get it? I mean, I've even wanted to write
Speaker 1: a book about this, and I don't because I just
Speaker 1: think everyone's going to look at me and think, Jerry Pattens,
Speaker 1: what do you even mean? Well, here's the point. If
Speaker 1: you look at anyone who's had success in any industry,
Speaker 1: it's because they understand patterns. If you look at people
Speaker 1: who are brilliant at investing, whether it's property or stocks,
Speaker 1: they know when to get involved. They've followed the pattern
Speaker 1: long enough to know when to get in and when
Speaker 1: to get out. It's a pattern that they've analyzed and
Speaker 1: observed and learned. If you look at people like mister
Speaker 1: Beast who've had incredible success on YouTube, why does that
Speaker 1: happen Because he's understood the pattern. He's understood the algorithm,
Speaker 1: which is just another word for pattern, and he's observed
Speaker 1: that pattern, mastered that pattern, and then delivered to it.
Speaker 1: He knows what to do in the first three seconds,
Speaker 1: he knows what to do in the last nine seconds.
Speaker 1: He knows what to do in the middle to keep
Speaker 1: your attention. He's mastered a pattern. If you look at
Speaker 1: your favorite movie, you look at your favorite TV shows,
Speaker 1: there's a rhythm to the script. There's a pattern. And
Speaker 1: here's what's true. The most successful people in the world
Speaker 1: are either pattern observers, pattern makers, pattern disruptors. But they're
Speaker 1: definitely not one thing pattern followers. See. What's really interesting
Speaker 1: about the ten percent is that their pattern observers, pattern makers,
Speaker 1: pattern disruptors. But most of us are pattern followers. With
Speaker 1: a consumer we follow the pattern, we follow pages. We
Speaker 1: use what we're given and we use it to consume.
Speaker 1: We don't use it to create. We don't use it
Speaker 1: to build. We don't use it to think. We use
Speaker 1: it to consume. We use it to consume our time.
Speaker 1: We use it to pass time. We use it to
Speaker 1: pass waste energy. We don't use it to create, build, disrupt,
Speaker 1: or observe. If you think about the amount of creators
Speaker 1: there are in the world that are social media creators
Speaker 1: versus the number of social media consumers, we have the
Speaker 1: numbers in front of us. The majority of people in
Speaker 1: the world, the ninety percent of the world, are consumers.
Speaker 1: They're watching, liking, commenting, sharing. Now, there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker 1: I too am a consumer, and sometimes to be a
Speaker 1: good disruptor, maker or observer, you have to be a follower.
Speaker 1: You have to be a consumer, but then you have
Speaker 1: to do more with it once you have followed, once
Speaker 1: you've lived in the established patterns systems, or you have
Speaker 1: to get good at observing them. A pattern observer or
Speaker 1: a pattern seer is great at recognizing existing patterns, trends,
Speaker 1: or connections. They can observe and identify relationships, often excelling
Speaker 1: in analysis and foresight. They have the ability to strategize
Speaker 1: based on their findings. So, for example, if a social
Speaker 1: media creator sees, oh, when I start a video that says, hey,
Speaker 1: did you know? They realize that people click five times
Speaker 1: is more times? And when they put a call to
Speaker 1: action at the end, they realize people share the video
Speaker 1: more than three times. If I observe that, I can
Speaker 1: now apply that when I create. If you see that
Speaker 1: some of the biggest brands in the world today, before
Speaker 1: they launch, they start a mailing list something exciting's coming soon.
Speaker 1: Be the first to find out everyone subscribes to the
Speaker 1: mailing list. They discover how many people are interested. If
Speaker 1: you observe that pattern, you too can use it. For
Speaker 1: your business. Too often we're trying to reinvent the wheel.
Speaker 1: We're trying to start from scratch, We're trying to build
Speaker 1: from the beginning, from the bottom. The reality is someone
Speaker 1: else has figured it out. Can you watch that pattern?
Speaker 1: Can you notice that pattern? And if you can, you
Speaker 1: become a pattern observer and then ideally you apply it. Now,
Speaker 1: if you get good at observing patterns, you might have
Speaker 1: the ability to become a pattern maker. These individuals create
Speaker 1: new patterns, systems, or frameworks. They're innovators who build solutions, processes,
Speaker 1: or artistic work that didn't exist before. And they've studied
Speaker 1: the patterns so well that they know how to build
Speaker 1: for it, they know how to create for it. But
Speaker 1: now there's one more person the pattern disrupted the rarest
Speaker 1: of them. All. These people challenge or break existing patterns.
Speaker 1: Take someone like Steve Jobs, who invents the smartphone at
Speaker 1: a time when everyone still had buttons on their phone
Speaker 1: and small screens. When you think about the origination of
Speaker 1: Spotify by Daniel Eck, when you think about the rise
Speaker 1: of computers, when people didn't think everyone needed a personal computer.
Speaker 1: They just believe that there'd be a few for the
Speaker 1: whole world. These people are rebels or revolutionaries. If you
Speaker 1: think about the founders of social media apps, who created
Speaker 1: an online universe that didn't exist before, but even disrupted
Speaker 1: the patterns. So you can see that anyone who is
Speaker 1: successful is ubset with patterns. And I want to ask you,
Speaker 1: whatever industry you're in, whatever place you're in, have you
Speaker 1: understood the pattern of the industry? What's the pattern of
Speaker 1: the person who gets promoted? What's the pattern of the
Speaker 1: person who gets selected. Now, our mind will try and
Speaker 1: say things like, Oh, it's just because they've been sucking up. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's just because they're the ones who's you know, they've
Speaker 1: just been around the longest. All of that may be true,
Speaker 1: but challenge yourself. Challenge yourself to observe the pattern. If
Speaker 1: you observe the pattern, you will master that place. If
Speaker 1: you look at good health, it's a pattern. How much protein,
Speaker 1: how much cardio, how much strength training. If you look
Speaker 1: at anything you want to be successful at life, learn
Speaker 1: the patterns, and learn the patterns from the pattern makers
Speaker 1: and observe it. And sometimes don't even listen to what
Speaker 1: they say, watch what they do. Do. A lot of us
Speaker 1: sit there and we listen to someone teaching us the
Speaker 1: pattern when actually, if you want to be the best
Speaker 1: pattern reader, watch it. Watch the person do their art masterfully.
Speaker 1: That step one. Now, the second step about becoming more
Speaker 1: successful and impactful than ninety percent of people is asking
Speaker 1: yourself this question. Are you busy but doing all the
Speaker 1: wrong things? Think about this for a second. Imagine this.
Speaker 1: Two people walk into a room. One sees a handcrafted
Speaker 1: desk and thinks that's pretty nice. The other sees the
Speaker 1: same desk but gasps, this is a masterpiece. Why do
Speaker 1: they have a different reaction? The second person spent two
Speaker 1: frustrating hours assembling it from flat pack pieces, cursing over
Speaker 1: missing screws, and doing the work. This is known as
Speaker 1: the Ikea effect. It hijacks your brain and makes you
Speaker 1: believe your effort has magically transformed something ordinary into something extraordinary.
Speaker 1: And this isn't just about furniture. It's why parents treasure
Speaker 1: their child scribble drawing more than a piece of Picasso's art.
Speaker 1: It's why startups cling to ideas others call doomed. It's
Speaker 1: why your half baked project feels like a work of art.
Speaker 1: Psychologists discovered the Ikea effect through experiments where participants built
Speaker 1: simple things like lego models or origami. The shocking result,
Speaker 1: people were willing to pay significantly more for the creations
Speaker 1: they built, even when they looked objectively worse than a
Speaker 1: professional version. Effort plus ownership equals value. And why is that?
Speaker 1: Our brains crave meaning and effort creates attachment. The harder
Speaker 1: we work on something, the more we feel it's part
Speaker 1: of us. Now that's not a bad thing. It means
Speaker 1: we should take ownership, we should grow. But here's what
Speaker 1: successful people do. They realize that the Ikea effect can
Speaker 1: blind us. It makes us cling to bad ideas, dysfunctional relationships,
Speaker 1: or failing projects simply because we've poured so much of
Speaker 1: ourselves into them. It's a psychological trap. The more effort
Speaker 1: you invest, the harder it becomes to let go. So
Speaker 1: the next time you find yourself obsessively defending something you've built,
Speaker 1: ask yourself, do I love this because it's great or
Speaker 1: because I made it? The most successful people in the
Speaker 1: world are good at being detached. They're good at quitting something.
Speaker 1: They're good at leaving something behind when it isn't great
Speaker 1: and they can't make it better. They're not so at
Speaker 1: task to their ideas that they think there's only one way.
Speaker 1: If this doesn't happen, nothing else will they find another way?
Speaker 1: They build another path. They're open to the idea. A
Speaker 1: lot of us are too attached to the work we've
Speaker 1: put into something that we don't want to work on
Speaker 1: building something else. You've studied something for three years and graduated,
Speaker 1: so now, even though you have an amazing opportunity to
Speaker 1: do something completely different, you feel like you're wasting the
Speaker 1: three years. You feel like you're leaving something behind that's valuable.
Speaker 1: Rather than feeling the inspiration and excitement of the new
Speaker 1: opportunity in front of you, you're letting what's known in
Speaker 1: economics as sunk cost bias slow you down. Sunk cost
Speaker 1: bias is where you're biased by sunk cost. You've already
Speaker 1: invested so much time and energy into something you need
Speaker 1: it to become meaningful, to give your life meaning, rather
Speaker 1: than recognizing this doesn't serve me anymore, This isn't valuable anymore,
Speaker 1: this isn't my goal anymore, and that's okay. I'll give
Speaker 1: you an example where I had to practice this. Some
Speaker 1: of you may not even know this. Originally, my community
Speaker 1: built on Facebook, I have around thirty million followers on Facebook,
Speaker 1: which is where I first started as a creator, and
Speaker 1: at one point I realized that it wasn't serving me
Speaker 1: the content I was creating. The platform was hard to
Speaker 1: grow on and I realized I really wanted to launch
Speaker 1: a podcast. So here we are. And if I had
Speaker 1: said to myself, no, no, no, I'm a facebooker. That's
Speaker 1: what I'm known as, that's what I have to do,
Speaker 1: I've put in so much effort into this, I would
Speaker 1: never be here with you today. So much of what
Speaker 1: you'll create tomorrow is when you'll let go of what
Speaker 1: you do today. Don't let your attachment hold you back.
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Speaker 1: That's drink ja Uni dot com and make sure you
Speaker 1: use the code on purpose now. Step three is something
Speaker 1: called the pigmalion effect. What if I told you that
Speaker 1: the key to your success isn't just hard work or talent,
Speaker 1: but someone else's belief in you. What if their faith
Speaker 1: in you could actually shape who you become imagine this.
Speaker 1: You're in a classroom and the teacher believes your destined
Speaker 1: for greatness. She sees your potential, and without even realizing it,
Speaker 1: she starts treating you differently, more encouragement, more attention, more opportunities,
Speaker 1: and then something incredible happens. You start to live up
Speaker 1: to her expectations. Your grades saw, your confidence grows, and
Speaker 1: you begin to believe in yourself more. But here's the twist.
Speaker 1: It wasn't just about your ability. It was about the
Speaker 1: belief someone else had in you. Welcome to the Pygmalion effect,
Speaker 1: a psychological phenomenon where higher expectations lead to better performance.
Speaker 1: And this isn't just some motivational theory. It's scientifically proven.
Speaker 1: Researchers discovered this by conducting an experiment with students. Teachers
Speaker 1: were told that certain students were intellectual boomers, though in
Speaker 1: reality these students were picked at random, but by believing
Speaker 1: in their potential, those students performed significantly better by the
Speaker 1: end of the year. The Pygmalion effect shows how our
Speaker 1: expectations shape our reality. When others believe in us, it
Speaker 1: shifts our behavior, it boosts our self esteem, and it
Speaker 1: unlocks our abilities that we didn't even know we had.
Speaker 1: But I know what you're thinking, Jaye, no one believes
Speaker 1: in me. Well maybe you've had a coach, a mentor
Speaker 1: family member or friend. But I know some of you
Speaker 1: are still thinking, JA, don't really have people like that
Speaker 1: around me. Well, here's the most amazing thing. The real
Speaker 1: power of the Pygmalion effect is it's about your own
Speaker 1: belief in yourself. If you start holding yourself to a
Speaker 1: higher standard, if you expect more from yourself, you'll start
Speaker 1: to see that belief reflected in your actions. Think about
Speaker 1: someone like Kobe Bryant who had his Momba mentality. It
Speaker 1: was a mentality that he aspired for that he channeled
Speaker 1: during a game. It was a belief he had in himself,
Speaker 1: a potential that existed. You look at the alter ego
Speaker 1: of Beyonce. Sasha fears she knows who she is in
Speaker 1: that moment. It allows her to almost be acting out
Speaker 1: of a body, to be a different level of herself.
Speaker 1: What's the beast mode version of you? What's the version
Speaker 1: of you that you aspire to be like? And you
Speaker 1: notice you have the potential, but you need to unleash it.
Speaker 1: I've thought about this for a long time in my
Speaker 1: own life. When I first met my mentor who believed
Speaker 1: in me, I'd always say to him, No, I'm not
Speaker 1: an entrepreneur. I'm just a creative. I'm just an artist.
Speaker 1: I need to work for someone. I can't work for myself.
Speaker 1: I'm not an entrepreneur. I would say this to him
Speaker 1: again and again and again. Today I realize that I
Speaker 1: was wrong. I have the ability to be an entrepreneur.
Speaker 1: I have the ability to be a business owner. Why
Speaker 1: because I allowed myself to have that vision for myself.
Speaker 1: When people don't have a greater vision for you, remember
Speaker 1: to hold a greater vision for yourself. Not that you
Speaker 1: believe you are those things now, but that you're working towards,
Speaker 1: you're aspiring towards all of those things being possible. I
Speaker 1: know you can do it. I know it's possible, and
Speaker 1: I'm here telling you that. If you've never had someone
Speaker 1: in your life tell you they believe in you, here
Speaker 1: I am now. I do believe in you. I see
Speaker 1: your potential. I notice you're trying. I acknowledge that you
Speaker 1: show up here every day every week, and you're ready
Speaker 1: for the next level. I want you to start seeing
Speaker 1: your future self and aspiring towards them. This next one
Speaker 1: is probably my favorite one when it comes to the
Speaker 1: things the ten percent do that the ninety percent don't.
Speaker 1: And I want you to think about it like this.
Speaker 1: Imagine you just learned about a new concept. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: a word, a brand, or even a type of food.
Speaker 1: It's on your mind, and suddenly you start seeing it everywhere.
Speaker 1: You hear it in conversation, you spot it in social media,
Speaker 1: and you even see a billboard for it. It's like
Speaker 1: the universe is throwing this thing at you from all directions.
Speaker 1: It could be numerology. You see eleven eleven everywhere. Literally,
Speaker 1: while I'm recording this, it's twelve twenty two and I
Speaker 1: just saw two two two. Right. Maybe it's the cyber truck,
Speaker 1: the Tesla cyber truck. You've been talking about it, you
Speaker 1: now see everywhere in the world. Me and my friend
Speaker 1: were talking about the other day how we don't see
Speaker 1: a particular color of a particular car. The next thing,
Speaker 1: you know, we could see it everywhere. But here's the truth.
Speaker 1: It's not happening more. It's just you notice it more. Right,
Speaker 1: It's only twelve twenty two or eleven eleven at you
Speaker 1: know certain times of the day. It's not happening more often,
Speaker 1: but you notice it more. Your brain's playing a trick.
Speaker 1: Welcome to what's known as the badder main off phenomenon,
Speaker 1: the mind bending illusion, where once you notice something, you
Speaker 1: suddenly think it's everywhere. Your brain filters out everything that's irrelevant,
Speaker 1: and once it's noticed something, it starts to pay attention
Speaker 1: to it more. This makes you believe that it's appearing
Speaker 1: all around you, when in reality, your brain's just hyper
Speaker 1: focused on it. And this phenomenon happens because of cognitive bias.
Speaker 1: Our brains are bombarded with information every second of the day,
Speaker 1: so to avoid being overwhelmed, they filter out things that
Speaker 1: don't seem important. But the moment something catches your attention,
Speaker 1: maybe a new word or idea, your brain suddenly relearns
Speaker 1: to look for it, and because you're now hyper aware
Speaker 1: of it, it appears to be popping up everywhere, even
Speaker 1: though it was always there. So how do you use
Speaker 1: this like successful people? Well, let's say you're thinking about
Speaker 1: starting a business. You read an icle about entrepreneurship, and boom,
Speaker 1: you start noticing entrepreneurship stories everywhere, podcast, YouTube videos, friends
Speaker 1: talking about their side gigs. The badder main off effect
Speaker 1: has kicked in. It's not that there's more entrepreneurship around you,
Speaker 1: it's that your brain is now hyper focused on it.
Speaker 1: So whatever it is that you want to find in life,
Speaker 1: whatever it is that you want to learn about in life,
Speaker 1: plant the seed. Become hyper focused on it, and you'll
Speaker 1: see it everywhere. But hey, this also works negatively. If
Speaker 1: you think there aren't enough opportunities, you will find proof
Speaker 1: around you that there aren't enough opportunities. If you feel
Speaker 1: to yourself you're not an entrepreneur, you will see signs
Speaker 1: that you're not an entrepreneur. Our mind will latch onto
Speaker 1: any idea that we have planted. So the next time
Speaker 1: you want to get good at something, plant the thought.
Speaker 1: For example, if I want to launch a podcast, let
Speaker 1: me think about all the ways in which I be
Speaker 1: a good podcast host. Let me notice those things, let
Speaker 1: me surround myself with them, and that will develop my confidence.
Speaker 1: Whereas if I start noticing all the ways i'm not,
Speaker 1: that will als edent my confidence to get started. You
Speaker 1: want to use this principle to your advantage. Now I
Speaker 1: want to share a couple more with you. This is
Speaker 1: a big one. Don't compare your chapter one to someone
Speaker 1: else's chapter twenty. Stop measuring your success by others' timelines.
Speaker 1: Everyone has their own path and success isn't linear. Focus
Speaker 1: on your own journey without getting distracted by others perceived achievements.
Speaker 1: Unsuccessful people look at where people are today and wonder
Speaker 1: how far they are. Successful people look at and learn
Speaker 1: how those people started. They turn envy into study. Instead
Speaker 1: of envying where someone is, study where they started. Instead
Speaker 1: of envying what someone has, study how they got it.
Speaker 1: Instead of envying the life someone's living, study the parts
Speaker 1: of their life that are unseen. That's what it takes
Speaker 1: to become great. Two more things I wanted to share
Speaker 1: with you. You don't need everyone to like you. It's okay
Speaker 1: to be misunderstood. Successful people understand that when you're doing
Speaker 1: things that are new, fresh, innovative, exciting, it can be
Speaker 1: too overwhelming and surprising for others. Your work ethic, your
Speaker 1: work rate, your dedication, your discipline might scare people. And
Speaker 1: when people are scared, their fear usually comes out as
Speaker 1: insecurity or noticing flaws in you. It's not about them,
Speaker 1: it's not about you. It's what fear does to people.
Speaker 1: You don't need everyone to like you, and you will
Speaker 1: never like everyone. That's the reality, and that's the final
Speaker 1: step to realize. Some relationships are meant to be short chapters,
Speaker 1: not lifelong books. Not every friendship, partnership, or connection is
Speaker 1: meant to last forever, and that's okay. Some of us
Speaker 1: never grow because we're scared to outgrow the people around us.
Speaker 1: Some of us never move forward because we're held back
Speaker 1: by the people around us. And some of us never
Speaker 1: become who are meant to be because we think we
Speaker 1: have to be like the people we're around. It's okay
Speaker 1: to let go, It's okay to move on, and to
Speaker 1: do it respectfully, gracefully, and kindly. You don't do this
Speaker 1: because you think you're better than people. You do this
Speaker 1: because you want to be better than who you were yesterday.
Speaker 1: I really hope that these principles, actually I know these
Speaker 1: principles will transform your life. Let me know when you
Speaker 1: tag me in the stories. Which one resonated with you
Speaker 1: and I can't wait for you to join in to
Speaker 1: another episode. Thank you for listening today. I will see
Speaker 1: you on the next one. Remember and forever in your corner,
Speaker 1: and I'm always rooting for you. Take care. If you
Speaker 1: love this episode, you'll love my interview with Kobe Bryant
Speaker 1: on how to be strategic and obsessive to find your purpose.
Speaker 1: Our children have become less imaginative about how to problem
Speaker 1: solve in parents and coaches have become more directive and
Speaker 1: trying to tell them how the behaviorsus teaching them how
Speaker 1: to behave