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Speaker 1: Motherfucking mini yoursel mini episode, motherfucking mini Yoursel?

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Speaker 2: You ever made love to a thug in the club?

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Speaker 2: With its ice on, eighty seven jeans and a fresh

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Speaker 2: pair of Nikes on?

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Speaker 3: There?

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Speaker 2: It is there, it is. Ladies and gentlemen, gentiles and

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Speaker 2: little mamas are like, welcome to another phenomenal episode. And

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Speaker 2: my mama told.

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Speaker 4: Me the podcast where we dive deep into the pockets

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Speaker 4: of black conspiracy theories.

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Speaker 2: And we finally worked to prove the theories that you,

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Speaker 2: the little mamas and others have at home. Come on,

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Speaker 2: it's a month fucking mini episode.

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Speaker 4: Have you ever made love in the club?

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Speaker 2: I got jerked off in the club? I ain't never,

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Speaker 2: I know, I wouldn't call that making love.

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Speaker 4: That's pretty good, though, it's pretty good.

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Speaker 2: That's pretty good.

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Speaker 4: M once, Yeah, waked off in a club multiple times.

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Speaker 2: No, no, let's go baby, all right.

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Speaker 4: I never got jerked off in the club.

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Speaker 2: Yeah no, I mean sometimes it's it's like above the

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Speaker 2: paying type situation.

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Speaker 4: But okay, but I count that getting off.

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Speaker 2: I think so. I think at the point that they're

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Speaker 2: like fully gripping it and like trying to go.

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Speaker 4: Into if they can make out the whole shape of it.

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Speaker 2: That's what I'm saying, like, yeah, you're we're we're doing

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Speaker 2: this for propriety sake, not because we uh, we're avoiding

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Speaker 2: the sexual experience, right right, right right. And then I've

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Speaker 2: had under you know, fully go like deep into the ship.

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Speaker 4: I've had it grabbed at at the club. Does that count?

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Speaker 2: That's pretty good? Yeah, it's not love. I don't think.

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Speaker 4: I don't think Jeez was either.

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Speaker 2: No, wait, you think GZ. You think j Z.

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Speaker 4: Oh seven g Z A lot.

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Speaker 2: Of them two shirts, Yeah, a lot of layers, a

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Speaker 2: lot of layers you gotta take off to get to

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Speaker 2: the snowman. You think he was comfortable dropping drow and

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Speaker 2: uh and making love on the dance floor and yeah,

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Speaker 2: oh seven o eight, No, there's no way that motherfucker

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Speaker 2: have fell out.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, if I was in a fucking the club, I'm

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Speaker 4: not dropping my pants all the way though. No, you

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Speaker 4: gotta take it out right. Yeah, you gotta be psychotic

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Speaker 4: to be like look away.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I will say I saw some guy get in a

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Speaker 4: blowjob in the club once.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, damn, he's free. Yeah, I can't

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Speaker 2: imagine it was messy though he was old, It wasn't

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Speaker 2: like a cool blow job.

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Speaker 4: No, it wasn't cool, it's it was awful.

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Speaker 2: There was a part of me that was hoping. It

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Speaker 2: was like the music was playing, he was getting head,

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Speaker 2: but he was still up here.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you always want to get head to signal

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Speaker 4: to somebody, but it's never happened to me.

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Speaker 2: No, I haven't had that pleasure. But I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Life is long and and maybe these days are short. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you never know.

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Speaker 4: Just wanted somebody to be like, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 4: But nah, I walked in on getting head once. It's

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Speaker 4: terribly awkward.

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Speaker 2: Oh you weren't like you didn't you didn't just keep chilling,

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Speaker 2: you were You felt embarrassed, and well.

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Speaker 4: She felt embarrassed, and then I you know what I mean, subsequently,

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Speaker 4: you you gotta feel the second head embarrassment. I don't know,

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Speaker 4: you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: She's like, You're like, I'm chilling. That does sound unfair. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna putting my shoes back on. We can't do

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Speaker 2: this again. No, we can't go another's true, that's true.

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Speaker 4: We were talking about on this one is a lot

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Speaker 4: worse than what we were talking about. This This conversation

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Speaker 4: stretched in forty five minutes we get canceled.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not gonna make it all the way to

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Speaker 2: the end of the careers, in which we might get

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Speaker 2: love in the club.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we can still get at least jerked off.

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Speaker 2: At least jerked off to completion under the pants.

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Speaker 4: Wait to completion. I don't want to know if I

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Speaker 4: not I want to leave the club at me, I don't.

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Speaker 4: That's the last place I want to deal with post

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Speaker 4: not clarity.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, You're right, you're right awful, No,

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Speaker 2: you're right. Suddenly the club's not dark anymore.

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Speaker 5: Like this sucks, This sucks, like this Leangelo ball music

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Speaker 5: is I.

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Speaker 4: Hate this? Just let you go. Yeah, No, I had

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Speaker 4: that realization with the club anyways, where maybe you just

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Speaker 4: sober up a little bit and you're like, oh, I

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Speaker 4: think I think this sucks.

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Speaker 2: For I used to hate the end of the night. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: anywhere you start that you ain't buying no more drinks

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Speaker 2: and everybody's just starting to look much more clear, and

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Speaker 2: you're like, fuck, man, this sucks.

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Speaker 4: This wasn't even cool. I thought, No, you're you're you're disheveled. Now,

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Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying, Yeah, your T shirts are wrinkley.

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Speaker 2: You're like, wait a minute, So I've just been walking

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Speaker 2: one hundred and fifty square feet looking for women for

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Speaker 2: two hours. This is sad. This is this is sad.

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Speaker 2: Is what's happened.

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Speaker 4: You ever stayed back thinking you could pull some last

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Speaker 4: minute ship like your friends left, and you're like, no,

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna I'm gonna hang Oh yeah, man, But sometimes

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Speaker 4: it works. Me and my girl, one of the first

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Speaker 4: times we hung out for real was we hung back

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Speaker 4: at a hang and we hung out together, and she

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Speaker 4: just showed me a picture from the from that night

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Speaker 4: the other day and it drunk in love is what

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Speaker 4: it looks like. I was just smiling too big because

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Speaker 4: like we did like a self. Yeah, you can't believe

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Speaker 4: it's working. She's still there.

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Speaker 5: She suck crazy guys, the boys believe this ship.

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Speaker 4: That's being said. I do think I was thinking about

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Speaker 4: this the other day and we could get into the

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Speaker 4: into the email or the voice watch of this.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I do think once a year over the age of thirty,

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Speaker 4: I think once a year, twice a year, you should

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Speaker 4: still be able to go to the club and ball out.

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Speaker 4: But you can't go to the club broke anymore. That's

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Speaker 4: what it is. You can't wait in line and do

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Speaker 4: all that shit. But you should be able to go

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Speaker 4: and be like, you know what, I make a little

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Speaker 4: bit of money, send a bottle over. I agree with that.

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Speaker 4: I think it's I think that's about the amount I would.

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Speaker 4: I want to do it now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you should be able to go full

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Speaker 2: Shenanigans like whatever that is for you. Be it, you know,

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Speaker 2: go get wild on the dance floor, Go get you know,

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Speaker 2: fucking drunk, Go buy a bottle whatever it is that

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Speaker 2: makes you strip club, throw, throw a whole lot of

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Speaker 2: money at a lady that ain't gonna love you. Whatever

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Speaker 2: you need that make a thousand dollars. Yeah. Cool.

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Speaker 4: That's the first time I ever thought I was successful

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Speaker 4: in music or in entertainment as well.

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Speaker 2: Say I'm successful with music. Don't short change yourself. Come on,

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Speaker 2: I love that that new DG is.

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Speaker 4: It's one of my greater insecurities that my name doesn't

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Speaker 4: sound good with initials and you really you really hit that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sorry about that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's okay, man, it's not all You're okay. You're

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Speaker 4: not doing much better.

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Speaker 2: I'm not killing it, No, all right, well, voicemail. Anyways,

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Speaker 2: we we got a voicemail from a young lady. I

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Speaker 2: don't do is her name available? Do we have her name?

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Speaker 2: I think she says it in the voicemail. Okay, well

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Speaker 2: we got a voicemail. We're excited to hear it. We

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Speaker 2: got a lot of voicemails. Let me not sure, change

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Speaker 2: ourselves all sexual in tone, a lot of sexual energy

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Speaker 2: coming our way. And we're not mad at it. No, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: it's crazy. Oh and we should address this. You mentioned

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Speaker 2: that you were you saw something on the reddit that

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Speaker 2: we should talk about.

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Speaker 4: They want to be called little freakys. Uh no, we're

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Speaker 4: not gonna do that. No, you can call yourselves that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're you're welcome if you're like, if you're like, nah,

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Speaker 2: I'm a true little mama in that. I'm so deep

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Speaker 2: in this. I'm willing to be called a little freaky.

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Speaker 2: You are welcome. Yeah, to do that for yourself. Just no,

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Speaker 2: I'm not andre gonna say that to you.

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Speaker 4: I can't do it, not on the street.

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Speaker 2: You can make your own shirts. We're not gonna do

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Speaker 2: that thing where we like get them shut down and like, no.

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Speaker 4: It's cool, it's cool that there's a subset of It's like,

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Speaker 4: it's kind of like our gestapo. Yeah, we have the

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Speaker 4: little mamas, but then we have the little freaky.

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Speaker 2: And're like, fuck, you don't want to you don't, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you don't want to get bad on the little freakies.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they come up to your house wearing all black,

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Speaker 4: the watch out with them a little freakies man.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: So anyways, we're not going to call you that, but

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Speaker 4: let's play this from what are You Freaky Ass Mamas?

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Speaker 3: Hey, David and Langston. This is Greta from Houston, Texas.

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Speaker 3: And my mama told me that God's way of balancing

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Speaker 3: out people's looks and body parts is that nobody can

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Speaker 3: have all three. You either got tips, ass, or face,

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Speaker 3: or some combination of two, but not all three. So

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Speaker 3: if you got a big booty and a pretty face,

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Speaker 3: you have small boots. If you got big boobs and

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Speaker 3: a nice booty, you're ugly. And if you're beautiful, just

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Speaker 3: absolutely beautiful, like drop that gorgeous in the face, you

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Speaker 3: probably won't have tits or ass. And that's a guy's

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Speaker 3: way of balancing things out.

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Speaker 4: Wow, First of all, Greta, what are you working with?

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Speaker 4: How God bless you. You know, I guess there's probably

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Speaker 4: two of the things.

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Speaker 2: Talking about.

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Speaker 4: It's not a face town want to use good God,

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Speaker 4: that is crazy.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, her body was silence.

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Speaker 4: Uh okay, let's okay, let's start.

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Speaker 2: How do you feel about this? It's it's intriguing for

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Speaker 2: sure where I sit back, and it challenges me in

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Speaker 2: a way that that makes me wonder if that there

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Speaker 2: is some truth to this. Certainly it doesn't feel like

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Speaker 2: everybody gets an even dis distribution of all three.

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Speaker 4: No, that would not be even fair, you know what

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Speaker 4: I mean. That's like crazy. I think there are some

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Speaker 4: people who get I think a lot of it is

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Speaker 4: like here's a difficulty with this his face because I

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Speaker 4: think we all have the same kind of metric fortuities

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Speaker 4: and ass.

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Speaker 2: Yeah right, yeah, well I guess maybe. But then I

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Speaker 2: go halle berry, you know what I mean? And I

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Speaker 2: think some people would say, well, she ain't got no ass.

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Speaker 2: And I would say, uh no, no, no, my brother.

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Speaker 2: I would say, no, no, no, my brother. That's that's

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Speaker 2: a spectacular ass. That's a great ass. But they would

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Speaker 2: say like, oh, that's not like a fat ass, that's

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Speaker 2: not like you know what I mean, Like that it

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Speaker 2: just as shapely, and I think that Greta debait. I

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Speaker 2: think that.

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Speaker 4: Greta is in the shapely camp because she said no

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Speaker 4: titties or no ass. She had say nice, well sculpted,

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Speaker 4: perfectly rounded her. She I'm saying fat ass and fat titties.

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Speaker 4: She was saying specifically, just the existence of.

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Speaker 2: Right right right right right well then that I think, Uh,

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Speaker 2: I I disagree with. I'm closer to disagreeing if it's

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Speaker 2: just shapely, if it's like truly God, didn't you know

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Speaker 2: what I mean? Because then it's like we see shape

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Speaker 2: lely quite a bit and like pretty pretty girls that

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Speaker 2: have like enough that I'd be happy with in all

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Speaker 2: forms and it looks great.

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Speaker 4: But this, but this type of thing is not personal

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Speaker 4: preference either though, because to me, I don't I don't

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Speaker 4: care about the distribution. Really, it all adds up to

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Speaker 4: baby like, I don't give.

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Speaker 2: Fuck man.

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Speaker 4: You know what I said.

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Speaker 2: That's true. You could be built like one of them, uh,

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Speaker 2: one of them chickens. We put weird chemicals inside of

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Speaker 2: It's give me a super chicken breast. Then I like.

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Speaker 4: It's like not that stuff is a deal break there.

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Speaker 4: But that's me personally, Okay, what I'm saying, I don't

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Speaker 4: really like it's all you could have crazy legs. Maybe

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Speaker 4: that's not my thing. Like it's like I don't really

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Speaker 4: it's like whatever. It's just like, does your shit make

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Speaker 4: sense together? Yess tough.

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Speaker 2: I will say that that is, uh, that is what

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Speaker 2: this body transformation era that we find ourselves in sort

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Speaker 2: of means to undo, or rather reconfigure, is giving everybody

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Speaker 2: an even distribution of them. And I'd say that even

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Speaker 2: in getting body modifications, it does not always seem to

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Speaker 2: solve the problem as effectively as people think it does.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because you can kind of tell. We were at

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Speaker 4: Zoo Lights, Me and my old lady were at Zoo

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Speaker 4: Lights the other night and we saw fresh BBL and

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Speaker 4: it was like you could tell. But to Greta's point,

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Speaker 4: do I think that you can't have all three? No,

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Speaker 4: because you've seen some people who got all three and

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Speaker 4: it's just like sometimes God gets with both hands.

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Speaker 2: I will say. I will say to Greta's point, those

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Speaker 2: people are very rare. Right, It's not as common as

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Speaker 2: a two out of three or one out of three situation.

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Speaker 2: Tends to be.

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Speaker 4: Right, That's true, That's true. But one out of three

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Speaker 4: is good. I don't know, man, It's like, we got

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Speaker 4: to stop judging shit so hard. You know, what are

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Speaker 4: you looking for?

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Speaker 2: Truly? One out of three is is uh, that's like

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Speaker 2: a home run. And then two out of three is like, whoa,

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Speaker 2: whoa a miracle? What is this? Guys blessing me? And

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Speaker 2: then three out of three, now you're a liability. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: three out of three you'll be great for somebody else. Baby,

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Speaker 2: I can't be on high alert all the time. It's

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Speaker 2: too stressful for me. And uh, you should be president.

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Speaker 2: As far as I'm concerning, you should be president. This

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Speaker 2: country is not progressive enough yet to make you the president.

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Speaker 2: But but we'll get you there.

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Speaker 4: It is times like this that I wish we had

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Speaker 4: a woman on the podcast. Olivia, what do you think

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Speaker 4: about all three? Because I want to know what the

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Speaker 4: equivalent is for men, just to know what there. Well, Olivia,

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Speaker 4: when you used to go out in your whole dress,

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Speaker 4: what were you looking for that one you had?

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Speaker 6: I was looking for that black American Express card?

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Speaker 4: Okay, okay, an Express. I didn't I that. I wasn't

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Speaker 4: sure you were going to say express afterwards, I didn't.

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Speaker 4: I'm looking for that black American. It's not gonna stop

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Speaker 4: calling them that. Yeah, that's not the same thing though. Well,

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Speaker 4: I like I'm saying, if we're talking face titties or

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Speaker 4: ass for and what are the rute bricks? And I

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Speaker 4: don't think it. I think it has to be purely

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Speaker 4: physical to be fair. You don't get to add money

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Speaker 4: or whatever, because that's not you know what I mean.

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Speaker 4: We're just talking vide.

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Speaker 7: Right, Yeah, I would say, I mean, I think with guys,

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Speaker 7: it's if we're looking at physical I would say eyes,

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Speaker 7: and I would say I would say shoulders, like a

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Speaker 7: good like broad shoulder looking.

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Speaker 2: And then what's the third thing?

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Speaker 6: And the third thing I would say me.

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Speaker 2: Imprint, imprint.

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Speaker 6: I would say, so eye shoulders, and I would say arms.

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Speaker 6: I feel like arms is a big thing, like because

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Speaker 6: I know this is very.

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Speaker 7: You know, I guess like like like if a guy

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Speaker 7: can lift like lift up, like lifting.

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Speaker 2: Up, women do feel like psychopaths to me.

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Speaker 4: I think they just are aware of physical violence.

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Speaker 2: Yes, but then yeah, but then that dude's also strong.

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Speaker 2: He is the he is the violence. He's he's the problem.

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Speaker 2: And statistically that's always true.

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Speaker 4: Do you not feel strong? Is that why you're lashing out, No,

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Speaker 4: and watch the mouth I feel, I feel crazy strong.

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Speaker 4: I think it just feels so fascinating that the things

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Speaker 4: that we consider to be our like the core aesthetic values,

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Speaker 4: are so different than the ones that they do.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you know what I mean? Yeah, truly, like truly

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Speaker 2: like they they can't even at their most like rudimentary level,

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Speaker 2: reduce us to like just body parts, and we're so

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Speaker 2: capable of doing it for them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's how we walk around yep.

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Speaker 2: And maybe that just more speaks to our psychosists than theirs,

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Speaker 2: but it does feel so it feels so different than

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Speaker 2: what we're the game we're playing.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean that's the funny funny part about it

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Speaker 4: is right, like because I almost think when I think

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Speaker 4: about it, it almost seems more fit that for what women.

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Speaker 4: Maybe it wouldn't be three holy physical traits, just for

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Speaker 4: like how they you know what, you know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but if we were women, we would just be

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Speaker 2: like mouth abs meet like that men women.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, it's just like what I look for, abs meet.

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Speaker 8: I don't even think I've ever heard a woman calling

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Speaker 8: her mouth. They say lips all mouth.

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Speaker 2: They don't have that animal in them the way that

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Speaker 2: we do. Damn. I've been like, damn, look at her mouth,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean.

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Speaker 4: Like I've said that about every every part, like that

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Speaker 4: animal because it's like whatever, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Now he's a whole buffalo, and look at her nose.

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Speaker 2: There's something. It's like.

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Speaker 4: There's this comic I used to know. I don't remember

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Speaker 4: his name, but he had a joke about how like

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Speaker 4: he's talking about big titties. He's like, Yeah, even if

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Speaker 4: you're not into it, you're into It's like you walk

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Speaker 4: down the street and you see a five foot tall cheeseburger,

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Speaker 4: you're still gonna look at it. Yeah, I'm a vegetarian,

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Speaker 4: but you're still like, damn, that's great, big ass cheese burger,

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Speaker 4: big ass cheese ry.

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Speaker 2: Smell it.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, go ahead. No, I was just gonna say,

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Speaker 4: who there are people though that it seems like they

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Speaker 4: did get all three m and I think there's more.

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Speaker 4: I don't think the rarity is as rare as you're saying.

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Speaker 4: I think that, like, because that's how, that's how there's enough.

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Speaker 4: There's a lot of hot people. It's that it's not

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Speaker 4: a commodity. You've been in a social situation without a

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Speaker 4: hot person. That's why there's always a hot person at

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Speaker 4: your job, or a hot person in the class that

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Speaker 4: you took or whatever. There's always one.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, man, I don't know if I agree

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Speaker 2: with that. Really. I think there's been a fair amount

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Speaker 2: of social situations you can find yourself in where you're like, god, damn,

360
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Speaker 2: this a collection of a goos.

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Speaker 4: Man, that's crazy. I don't feel that way. There's always one.

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Speaker 2: But I do think that's the beauty of hot being subjective, right,

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Speaker 2: is that, like we we are always scaling for ourselves,

364
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Speaker 2: and sometimes what you're aspiring for is not in that room.

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Speaker 2: But that does not mean beauty is not in that room, right.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be cruel to people and suggest

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Speaker 2: that like there's just rooms of ugly people all collecting

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Speaker 2: and looking at each other.

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Speaker 9: I think, literally what you just said. Yeah, But but

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Speaker 9: I'm trying to won't hit back, David, and you're not helping.

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Speaker 9: I'm trying to be responsible.

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Speaker 2: I'm recognizing where someone would get angry at me, and

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Speaker 2: I'm saying to myself, lengthy, you could fix this, and

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Speaker 2: then you go shut up. Hey, wait a minute, Wait

375
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Speaker 2: a minute. Wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait a minute.

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Speaker 2: You can't be better. You can't be better than you

377
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,359
Speaker 2: were a moment ago. You got to be exactly.

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Speaker 4: Who you listen. It's subjective. I mean I think that

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Speaker 4: I have definitely also been in rooms where it's a

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Speaker 4: bunch of ugly people, but I feel like, for the

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Speaker 4: most part, there's and because the way that shit works,

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Speaker 4: it's so subjective that if we're all in this room

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Speaker 4: after a day, you are the hot person in this room.

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Speaker 2: No, it scales fast, yeah, man, yeah, And it's like

385
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Speaker 2: and I think that's why it's not that important.

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Speaker 4: That's why I've always never felt like, well, I.

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Speaker 2: Guess that, and that to me is maybe worth distinguishing,

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Speaker 2: is that I'm not speaking to being in rooms and

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Speaker 2: who I would fuck. I'm speaking to being in rooms

390
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Speaker 2: and whether people are objectively in my opinion, but it's

391
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Speaker 2: subjectively hot, and that's a different conversation, right.

392
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Speaker 4: You've also spent a lot of time in New York

393
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Speaker 4: and LA which excuse it.

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Speaker 2: I have as well. I just think, at the end

395
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Speaker 2: of the day, there are so many rooms I walk

396
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Speaker 2: in and i'd fuck yeah, you know what I mean,

397
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Speaker 2: I'm not the one walk in. Yeah. I never have

398
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Speaker 2: walked in a room and been like, it's been like

399
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:09,280
Speaker 2: three and and they it had to be all dudes,

400
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 2: and uh in a bad day for them, fellas.

401
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Speaker 4: You know what I mean. You're teaching it a prison

402
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 4: or something. Yeah, you know there's hot dudes in prison too,

403
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:19,640
Speaker 4: hot dudes where.

404
00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 2: You're like, no, I see what somebody, how, somebody could

405
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 2: find themselves in this. Yeah.

406
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, your skin is clear. You're sleeping every nighty hours.

407
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:30,359
Speaker 2: Looking at those arms and those eyes and those shoulders

408
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:37,880
Speaker 2: and those shoulders and those great prison sweats. Oh man,

409
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:41,200
Speaker 2: do you have a Black American Express card?

410
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Speaker 4: You know, it's crazy. Until the Great sweatpants movement, I

411
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 4: was so close in minded. I never even thought about

412
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Speaker 4: women seeking that out. I never thought that could it.

413
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 4: I never even never even crossed my mind that they

414
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Speaker 4: would try.

415
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Speaker 2: No, I know, and I like that they have that

416
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 2: good for I think that they deserve to be nasty.

417
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:03,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, we can be.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm almost exclusively Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I keep it in my head though. I do will

420
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Speaker 4: never I'm not not yelling. I'm not even I'm so

421
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Speaker 4: cold my eyebrows don't even move anymore.

422
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Speaker 2: I truly will never let you know the nasty things

423
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 2: that I'm thinking about you, and and that is that

424
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Speaker 2: is my promise to you, the listeners, the people that

425
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Speaker 2: see us live. If you come up to me and

426
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 2: you're looking good, it ain't coming up with us ever.

427
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Speaker 2: That's my promise to you.

428
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Speaker 4: And truly, I'm gonna be honest with you. That's the

429
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Speaker 4: best I can do. That's as good as it gets.

430
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 4: That's as good as it gets.

431
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Speaker 2: I think we're crushing it. I think we're pretty good.

432
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Speaker 2: I think we're pretty good. Yeah, there's not gonna be

433
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Speaker 2: a single scandal. No, David groped me after after the show. Yeah,

434
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 2: he was drinking and he kept talking to me too,

435
00:25:58,520 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 2: cloase and Nope.

436
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 4: No, I think I'm probably gonna start doing that Keanu reefshit,

437
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:07,159
Speaker 4: Oh just hover maybe I just like And this is

438
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:09,719
Speaker 4: not sexual. I like the end. If you come up

439
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 4: to take a picture, I want, I do want to

440
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,960
Speaker 4: feel you and you to feel me. But it's not

441
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,159
Speaker 4: I'm not like I don't feel I'm never like rubb it,

442
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:19,280
Speaker 4: squeezing arms or anything like that.

443
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,160
Speaker 2: You know, No, I don't want that.

444
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 4: Do you hover? Are you doing the hover?

445
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,680
Speaker 2: No? But I think I should you want to see

446
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 2: what I mean Like, it's not. It's not because I

447
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:31,240
Speaker 2: feel confident that I've you know what I mean that

448
00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:34,399
Speaker 2: like there's no no one who could be like we

449
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 2: squeezed tight and then suddenly we're having a different conversation.

450
00:26:40,480 --> 00:26:42,679
Speaker 4: Bro, I've been confident in like three hugs in my

451
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 4: whole life. It always feels like it's like the I

452
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,399
Speaker 4: don't think people understand for some people who are weird,

453
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,879
Speaker 4: the bravery I have to go out the bravery I

454
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,840
Speaker 4: have to exhibit to hug you when I didn't know

455
00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 4: if we could hug.

456
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 2: Keeps me up at night. That's a big ask.

457
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,640
Speaker 4: It's tough. It's tough. I don't like it. I don't

458
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,200
Speaker 4: like it. I don't like greetings.

459
00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 2: Really.

460
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 4: I would rather we just fall into conversation. Yeah, I

461
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:16,159
Speaker 4: don't because the greeting and the and the dismount are both.

462
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 2: Like, oh man, that I had a writing session yesterday

463
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,160
Speaker 2: with some folks, very funny people, very talented people, and

464
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:29,640
Speaker 2: and uh and we had a great session and all

465
00:27:29,760 --> 00:27:32,200
Speaker 2: laughed at a lot of funny things and then afterwards

466
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:36,119
Speaker 2: said the most awkward goodbyes that humans could say to

467
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,400
Speaker 2: each other. And it's like, Bro, we were just so intimate,

468
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 2: We were just so close to one another, and now

469
00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 2: we can't. We don't know where to put our fucking hands.

470
00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 2: That's we like do these half hugs and it sucks.

471
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 4: You know what it is, it's the intimacy that the

472
00:27:51,560 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 4: intimacy is not what scares me or bothers me. It's

473
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,159
Speaker 4: the ritual. The intimacy is fine. I can handle that.

474
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:02,159
Speaker 4: It's the ritual in that the like, how's this supposed

475
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:06,199
Speaker 4: to open? Okay, I've met you three times, But sometimes

476
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,639
Speaker 4: it feels disrespectful to just shake a woman's hand like

477
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:09,880
Speaker 4: you would shake a man's hand.

478
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like calling him ugly somehow by it exact hand.

479
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 4: I'm glad so is that that's not just me? You

480
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:20,440
Speaker 4: feel that way too.

481
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,760
Speaker 2: It's not calling them ugly, but it's like calling them less.

482
00:28:25,119 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 2: It's almost treating them less like women. And I think

483
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 2: that feels reductive to like their beauty, to beauty standards,

484
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,760
Speaker 2: to like what they represent in a way that I

485
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:39,280
Speaker 2: don't know how to undo.

486
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 4: That's that's you hit it on the head, bro, because

487
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 4: sometimes it'll be like, well, if it's like a woman

488
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 4: I've never met, or like you've only met on the internet.

489
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 4: That first one is like, I don't want to hug

490
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 4: you because it does feel inappropriate, but something about just

491
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 4: shaking your hand feels disrespectful, and you don't. I don't

492
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,760
Speaker 4: want to dap you up because that's good, right.

493
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, So now.

494
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 4: I'm just like dreading the first ten seconds of our meeting.

495
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:12,840
Speaker 2: I really struggle first meets of women that I yeah,

496
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,480
Speaker 2: and it's men too. I don't want this to just

497
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 2: be women. It's a different kind of struggle, but certainly

498
00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 2: with women. It's like, I want to give a respectful

499
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 2: distance to whatever this is, but I also don't want

500
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:30,600
Speaker 2: to make it seem as if you are not a

501
00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 2: very you know.

502
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 4: Beautiful woman. I'm also not trying to other you because

503
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:40,200
Speaker 4: we're most likely in a situation where it's mostly men,

504
00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. So I'm not trying to

505
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 4: make you feel even more alienated.

506
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, where it's like, why did he immediately treat me

507
00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 2: like an outsider to a thing?

508
00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, especially because he tapped up the dudes he knows,

509
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 4: you know, we just got to either be all in

510
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 4: or all out on touching.

511
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: It is what I think, so too. So you already

512
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 2: here first, folks, if you got a fat ass. Let

513
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 2: us grab it. Just off the first meet. You know,

514
00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 2: you got that big old thing back there. You know

515
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:15,960
Speaker 2: we're looking whether or not we said anything, We're not

516
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 2: gonna address it. Well, go ahead and let us put

517
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 2: a hand on it.

518
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 4: This next tour is gonna go crazy. Will actually only

519
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 4: be going to Houston, Houston, Lanta, Vegas. We were run

520
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 4: for the boys. Also Baton Rouge, I don't understand. Oh

521
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:59,760
Speaker 4: all right, yeah yeah, cool guy. Joke City seven on Instagram, Patreon,

522
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,719
Speaker 4: Dot call Backslash David Bory buy my special. I got

523
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:05,400
Speaker 4: a lot of stuff going on over there. Yeah, that's it.

524
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be in the Cincinnati area and then Chicago

525
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 4: and most likely Minneapolis. That's coming at the end of

526
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,960
Speaker 4: February and on I had the shit on me right now,

527
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:16,960
Speaker 4: tell you Yeah.

528
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 2: You can find me at Langston Kerman on all social

529
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 2: media platforms. You can watch my special. It's called Bad Poetry.

530
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 2: It is on Netflix. You can see me live in

531
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:33,760
Speaker 2: February in Vancouver for JFL Vancouver. It's gonna be very fun.

532
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 2: I think I'm doing one night and then you can

533
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 2: also see me in March in Vermont. I'm gonna be

534
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 2: at the Vermont Comedy Club the twenty in March twenty

535
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 2: seventh through the twenty ninth, and it's gonna be a

536
00:31:49,120 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 2: great time. Everybody's gonna laugh and have a nice time.

537
00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 2: And then after that you can send us your own drops,

538
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 2: your own conspiracy theories. You can tell us what kind

539
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 2: of ass titties in face you're working with, all at

540
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,440
Speaker 2: Mymama pod at gmail dot com, and you can buy

541
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 2: the merch. You can give us a call at a

542
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 2: four or four Little Moms. You can donate to people

543
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 2: in need, you can pray for your for their salvation,

544
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 2: and most importantly, you can suck dick in the club.

545
00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:24,960
Speaker 4: Bye bitch, bitch.

546
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 3: Bitch on the book nobody supposed to be here, Well

547
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:33,320
Speaker 3: I can't.

548
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 1: Motherfucking Mini Episol Mini episod, motherfucking Mini ever sew, motherfucking

549
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:54,640
Speaker 1: Mini years Sol Mini episode, motherfucking Mini Everisol