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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEHARVEFM dot com.

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Speaker 2: And you know we.

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Speaker 1: Could be reading your letter live on the air, just

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Speaker 1: like we're going to read this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 2: You never know, it could be yours. It could be yours.

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Speaker 3: Buckle up and hold on tight. We got it for

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Speaker 3: you here. It is Rawberry Letter.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, nephew.

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Speaker 1: Subject He's not the only man I've been with, Dear

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Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I'm from a small town and I'm very

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Speaker 1: close to my parents, which my husband loves. I met

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Speaker 1: my husband in high school and he enlisted in the

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Speaker 1: Navy after graduation. We remained boyfriend girlfriend while he was gone,

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Speaker 1: and he always said he was going to marry me.

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Speaker 1: Everything he said he loves about me is not who

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Speaker 1: I really am. He always talks negatively about the women

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Speaker 1: he met while he was away, saying they were too bossy, worldly,

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Speaker 1: and an easy lay. He thinks he is the only

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Speaker 1: person I've ever slept with, but I dated three men

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Speaker 1: while he was away for eight years. My parents do

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Speaker 1: not even know I was with the guys because I

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Speaker 1: wanted to act like I was being faithful to my

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Speaker 1: long term boyfriend. He called me one day and said

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Speaker 1: he was ready to get married and he wanted me

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Speaker 1: to move to Maryland. He didn't formally propose, so I

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Speaker 1: didn't feel like he was head over heels in love

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Speaker 1: with me. It felt more like he was tired of

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Speaker 1: messing around and wanted to settle down. So I moved

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Speaker 1: and married him, and now I regret it. Our lifestyle

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Speaker 1: is so boring and he thinks he's all of that

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Speaker 1: in the bedroom. I can't stand this below average sex

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Speaker 1: that I have to have daily. He prefers that I

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Speaker 1: don't work, so I make sure to cook breakfast and

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Speaker 1: dinner for him daily.

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Speaker 2: Sooner or later, the real me is going.

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Speaker 1: To come out and I'm going to flip him all

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Speaker 1: around our bed and make his toes curl. The only

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Speaker 1: thing keeping me from doing it is that I love

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Speaker 1: the security this marriage provides. I want to have great sex,

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Speaker 1: maybe on the beach and possibly have a threesome, but

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Speaker 1: he would disown me. I am bored out of my mind.

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Speaker 1: Should I show him the real me or continue to

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Speaker 1: be the perfect wife? Well, I mean no matter what,

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Speaker 1: you should always be yourself because really, I don't see

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Speaker 1: how you've done it this long. It's hard to be fake.

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Speaker 1: Twenty four to seven. You really haven't done anything wrong.

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Speaker 1: He was gone for eight years. What were you supposed

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Speaker 1: to do during that time? You weren't supposed to.

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Speaker 2: Date or anything. You're human, And what was he doing

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Speaker 2: for those eight years? Do you think he.

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Speaker 1: Wasn't doing anything, just sitting there waiting on you. No,

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Speaker 1: he was messing around to like you said. He admitted

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Speaker 1: it when he said the women he met were too bossy,

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Speaker 1: they were too worldly, and he said they were an

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Speaker 1: easy lay We all know what an easy layman means.

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Speaker 1: And you have nothing to feel guilty about. Plus your man,

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Speaker 1: hurry to him now. Even though he didn't give you

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Speaker 1: a proper proposal. You did want that, but you said

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Speaker 1: you love the security the marriage provides. You don't have

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Speaker 1: to work, You just cook for them breakfast and dinner.

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Speaker 1: But you're bored with your life and the sex is

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Speaker 1: bad with your husband, and you're wondering if you should

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Speaker 1: take a chance and be yourself. Well, yeah, be yourself.

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Speaker 1: You gotta, I mean, why not be yourself? You're married, now,

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Speaker 1: be yourself, whoever that is. I mean, you have to

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Speaker 1: be happy too. I say, take the initiative. Change things

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Speaker 1: up in the bedroom. Turn up in the bedroom. You

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Speaker 1: have nothing to lose. You have nothing to lose, Steve.

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Speaker 4: Where did I start with this hill? I don't care

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Speaker 4: that you've only man you've been with. That don't mean nothing.

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Speaker 4: You're from a small town and you're very close to

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Speaker 4: your parents, but your husband's loved then, I ain't got

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Speaker 4: nothing to do with to the letter. I met your

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Speaker 4: husband in high school. He enlisted in the Navy the graduation.

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Speaker 4: We remain boyfriend and girlfriend while he was gone. He

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Speaker 4: always said he was gonna marry me. Well you know

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Speaker 4: that's what he said, but you know he didn't, So

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Speaker 4: I think that kind of cleared you up. All these promises,

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Speaker 4: no ring, no requests, no nothing, uh. Everything he says

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Speaker 4: he loves about me, that's not really who I am.

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Speaker 3: Now let's start talking about that, because that's what this

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Speaker 3: letter is about. Well, who are you in?

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Speaker 4: He always talks negatively about the women he met while

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Speaker 4: he was away, saying they were too bossy, worldly and

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Speaker 4: an easy lay.

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Speaker 3: Well how he know?

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Speaker 4: You know how I know because he was with him

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Speaker 4: he was with all these women that he found to

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Speaker 4: be bossy, worldly and an easy lay. Now he thinks

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Speaker 4: that he the only person that I've slept with. Well,

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Speaker 4: just leave it at that. Let him think that you

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Speaker 4: ain't got it. You ain't got to go in there

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Speaker 4: talk about you ain't the only one I've been with.

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Speaker 4: Let him think that.

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Speaker 3: So what?

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Speaker 4: But I dated three men while he was away for

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Speaker 4: eight years. Eight years, you ain't been with this man,

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Speaker 4: and you're supposed to be by yourself that ain't married

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Speaker 4: to you. Ain't All he said was he'll marry you

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Speaker 4: one day. Well that ain't good enough. My parents don't

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Speaker 4: even know. I was with the guys because I wanted

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Speaker 4: to act like I was being faithful to my longtime boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: Well, so you know what it is. You're beholden to

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Speaker 3: too many people without being beholden to yourself. You're worrying

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Speaker 3: about what he think, You're worrying about what your parents think.

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Speaker 3: What do you get to do? A lot of women

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Speaker 3: do that to themselves. They lose theirselves in the course

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Speaker 3: of pleasing everybody else. That's always dangerous for women. Anyway,

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Speaker 3: he called me one day and he said he was

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Speaker 3: ready to get married. He wanted me to move to Maryland.

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Speaker 3: He didn't formally propose, so I didn't feel like he

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Speaker 3: was head over heels in love with me. It felt

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Speaker 3: more like he was tired of messing around and wanted

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Speaker 3: to settle down. Exactly exactly. You hit the nail on

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Speaker 3: the head.

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Speaker 4: So you moved up and you married him, and now

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Speaker 4: you regret it. Our lifestyle is so boring, and he

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Speaker 4: thinks he's all that in the bedroom. And I can't

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Speaker 4: stand this below average six that I have dated. Eh, well,

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Speaker 4: let me tell you something about men. We're not finn

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Speaker 4: do that. We're not Finna do what you just wrote.

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Speaker 4: If I'm having a bunch of below average six all

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Speaker 4: the time, we got to do something to get the

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Speaker 4: average up.

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Speaker 2: Hang on, hang on, we'll have part two.

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Speaker 3: We gotta get some more people in here.

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Speaker 1: We got Steve's response coming up a twenty three minutes

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Speaker 1: after the hour, Today's Strawberry Letter subject, He's not.

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Speaker 2: The only man I've been with. We'll get back into

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Speaker 2: it right after this. You're listening hard morning show.

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Speaker 1: All right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: He's not the only I've been with.

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Speaker 4: Well, y'all know it ain't you married this dude that

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Speaker 4: you was with, acting like you was his boyfriend girlfriend

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Speaker 4: for eight years. And I guess he was somewhere for

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Speaker 4: eight years in the navy, acting like he was your boyfriend.

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Speaker 4: But he openly told you that all the women he

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Speaker 4: met was bossy, worldly and an easy lathe. Well he

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Speaker 4: told you that's what he was doing out there. But

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Speaker 4: he assumed you was at the house just waiting on him.

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Speaker 4: Well you wasn't, and you shouldn't have been. And now

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Speaker 4: you got you feeling guilty. You don't, first of all,

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Speaker 4: don't tell him you was with the other man. You

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Speaker 4: ain't got to do that. Shut your damn mouth and

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Speaker 4: told y'all about this truth y'all be telling all the time.

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Speaker 4: It's called disclosure, and just to stay closed. If you

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Speaker 4: just close your damn mind. See that's what y'all need

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Speaker 4: to stop all this here.

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Speaker 2: Little disclosure transparent.

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Speaker 4: Oh that's ignorant. He didne came home. Now he won't

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Speaker 4: to get married because he tired of messing around you.

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Speaker 4: Doe went up to Maryland the marriages. Dude, Now you

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Speaker 4: can't stand in your life because it is boring as

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Speaker 4: hell and this and this and this, this, this bedroom

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Speaker 4: that you're in because you married him, and now you

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Speaker 4: regret it.

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Speaker 3: Your lifestyle so boring. He thinks he's all that in

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Speaker 3: the bedroom.

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Speaker 4: I can't stand this below average sex that I have daily. Well,

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Speaker 4: I'm telling you right now, me and ain't gonna stand

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Speaker 4: for that below average sex.

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Speaker 3: Every day. We're gonna get the average up. You get smoke.

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Speaker 4: People in here, gots to get this average up. We're

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Speaker 4: not gonna have this below average sex every day. We're

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Speaker 4: gonna get this average up.

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Speaker 3: People.

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Speaker 4: I don't care. I'm just telling you what a man

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Speaker 4: would do. So now now your mind is thinking the

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Speaker 4: same thing. He prefers it out on work. So I

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Speaker 4: make sure to cook breakfast and dinner for him daily.

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Speaker 4: Sooner or later, the real meat is gonna come out,

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Speaker 4: and I'm gonna flip him all around our bed and

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Speaker 4: make his toes curled. That'll probably be good for him. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that'll probably be good for him. I've enjoyed every time

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Speaker 4: my toes got curled.

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Speaker 3: That right now. Ain't nothing like a good TC happening

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Speaker 3: in your life. Right there? You need that right toe curly.

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Speaker 4: You need that in your life, and every now and then,

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Speaker 4: and I really enjoyed mine. And the only thing keeping

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Speaker 4: me from doing that is I love the security this

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Speaker 4: marriage provides.

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Speaker 3: Okay, well keep it, but quit laying up there like

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Speaker 3: a lump.

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Speaker 4: Do what you do now. You got to break him in.

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Speaker 4: Slow to it now, don't do it all tomorrow. Slowly

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Speaker 4: add something to it so he can't tell because me

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Speaker 4: and is stupid.

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Speaker 3: Slowly add an activity.

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Speaker 4: Like, for inston, if you jump off the doorknob, you

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Speaker 4: need to say that. Well, that's a little advanced putting

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Speaker 4: your foot up on the doorknob and jumping on him

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Speaker 4: in the bed.

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Speaker 3: That was going.

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Speaker 4: So you might want to start with something he's familiar with,

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Speaker 4: like army crawling up to him, crawling on your knees

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Speaker 4: and arms. That's something he saw in basic training. Okay,

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Speaker 4: you play a play a little shooting game, you know,

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Speaker 4: call it a military exam.

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Speaker 3: You know it's going an excursion.

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Speaker 4: They're familiar with words like that, use military terms and that.

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Speaker 3: And I want to.

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Speaker 4: Have great sex, maybe on the beach and possibly have

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Speaker 4: a threesome. Now, let me tell you something you got.

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Speaker 4: Don't introduce this threesome. Things that right there gonna be

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Speaker 4: too much for little Captain Willie. So just slow that

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Speaker 4: down a little bit because Captain Willie Ernest. Captain Ernest

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Speaker 4: ain't gonna be able to handle that because he's a

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Speaker 4: little square as boy. So the threesomes ain't gonna happen.

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Speaker 4: But he would disown me. Yeah, and you like to security,

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Speaker 4: I am board out of my mind? Should I show

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Speaker 4: him the real me? Yes, show him the real you,

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Speaker 4: but slowly, and you get him to turn around or

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Speaker 4: continue to be the perfect wife. Well, you're not the

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Speaker 4: perfect wife. He probably bored too. See the reason. Now,

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Speaker 4: let me tell you something. Since he been out there

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Speaker 4: with all these women, learning that they was bossy world

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Speaker 4: and the easy lay, he might not want to bring

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Speaker 4: all them tricks to the house to you because he

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Speaker 4: don't want you to know how wild he being. So

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Speaker 4: he been going with you real slow because he thinks

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Speaker 4: you're the only one he been with. So he just

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Speaker 4: trying to take it easy and you over that, faking

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Speaker 4: it like it's good. He thinking he doing something. He say,

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Speaker 4: that's all you need keep on being boring because you

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Speaker 4: might be boring to him too. So now both of

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Speaker 4: y'all is tricking each other. Both of y'all need to

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Speaker 4: be the real you. You need to let the cat

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Speaker 4: out the bag, but let the cat out slow. Then

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Speaker 4: he might let his cat out your bag. He might

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Speaker 4: be a bigger do you think he is, Shirley, don't

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Speaker 4: do animal sounds when I'm talking because they're never never good.

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Speaker 4: You know, you don't do none of your un You

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Speaker 4: can stop doing that like, no, she doesn't. She don't

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Speaker 4: do no animal sounds good? You know, use him in

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Speaker 4: your reply to come over here.

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Speaker 3: I don't need our animal stuff like that.

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Speaker 2: That's my suggestions.

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Speaker 3: Get yourself together. No, surely you need to grow up.

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Speaker 3: We've been to mature. You need sure sweet get you.

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Speaker 2: Are you quite done?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Because you don't interrupt my letter.

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Speaker 1: Leave us your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram

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Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey fm dot com, and check out the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter podcast on the iHeartRadio app.

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Speaker 2: It is absolutely free.

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Speaker 1: Now coming up next, Junior, you're ready for Sports Talk

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Speaker 1: absolutely coming up next. It is Junior and Sports Talk.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to Harvey Morning Show.