WEBVTT - Bump in the Night 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359 Whine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast. 0:00:06.480 --> 0:00:12.399 Hi girls, Hi, Hi Kramer. Hi You're good. I'm great. Good. Yeah, 0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:17.439 how are you guys? Good? I think Kristen she just 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:20.720 gave me the eyeball, like, fine, she's great. 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:25.160 She's just really coasting through, like which one are we referencing? 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:25.320 You? 0:00:25.360 --> 0:00:29.080 Are you me? So? Yeah? I'm fine. 0:00:29.360 --> 0:00:31.280 You know what's so funny is when you ask someone 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:32.560 they're like, I'm great. 0:00:32.600 --> 0:00:38.680 And I'm like, are you sure? Yeah, it's likely. Yeah, 0:00:38.680 --> 0:00:41.080 I'm definitely lying. Okay. I just can't tell if it's 0:00:41.080 --> 0:00:43.560 like it's very all or nothing, like do I just go, oh, 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:46.519 but it's just you know, it's all as well. I 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:49.560 can whine about it. Actually, okay, if you have any 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:52.879 pins there fore, it's totally fine and I can just 0:00:53.880 --> 0:00:55.960 keep pushing it all down. I seem to be really 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:58.560 good at that lately. It seems to be the way 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:03.280 to go. Yeah, sh it down, no time to cry. 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:05.320 It would be the title of my book if I 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:08.440 wrote one right now. It's actually a great title, don't 0:01:08.440 --> 0:01:10.760 you like it? Yeah? I actually wrote it down because 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:12.360 I thought maybe there is something to that I can 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:16.000 writing a book. I'd love to do that. You should time, 0:01:16.280 --> 0:01:17.959 you should. I just don't have time to cry much. 0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:20.720 Let's write a book. No time to cry, no time 0:01:20.760 --> 0:01:22.200 to fire up the keyboard again. 0:01:23.040 --> 0:01:26.280 Well, speaking of, it's quite funny because I had just 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:31.160 sent my editor, I'm sorry, my my public agent, book agent, 0:01:31.240 --> 0:01:35.679 I said, six months later, here's your proposal. She had 0:01:35.720 --> 0:01:39.360 asked at least six months ago. Yeah, I just like 0:01:39.400 --> 0:01:41.480 it's been I haven't had a second to sit down, 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:43.840 and so it's been in between set. Yeah, where I've 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:46.560 been because I have all my thoughts. I just had 0:01:46.600 --> 0:01:48.200 to glue them together. 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:49.200 I feel like something like that. 0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:51.240 You've got to be like ready to do it though, Yeah, 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:52.480 and not just like forced. 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:53.760 I don't know. 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.960 It's just hard to find the time to have hours 0:01:57.000 --> 0:01:59.280 to like sit I've been doing it on my lunch 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:01.200 breaks because I have an hour. 0:02:01.440 --> 0:02:04.200 I don't like lunch. I can't take the hour lunch. 0:02:04.480 --> 0:02:05.200 It's awful. 0:02:05.520 --> 0:02:07.520 I would just rather not have anything, to be honest. 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:09.760 And what's funny is I always thought that the crew 0:02:10.200 --> 0:02:12.200 liked the hour because it's their chance to but they 0:02:12.320 --> 0:02:13.840 they also were like, no, I'd rather just have a 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:16.760 grazing lunch. Yeah, because you're just tired, you get out 0:02:16.800 --> 0:02:17.160 of it. 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:21.200 Yeah, kind of get done early. Yeah, but with you 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:23.720 working lunches were always my jam in the corporate world. 0:02:23.919 --> 0:02:26.000 Love yeah, like give me a box salad gym and 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:32.040 let's talk about your power point. Power point girl. So 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:33.799 any updates from the movie. 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:37.799 I mean nothing that's like no, just you know, one 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.480 from like filming till two in the morning and then 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:42.240 waking up for first day of school. But it was 0:02:42.480 --> 0:02:45.240 that stuff was so fun, like I was just running 0:02:45.280 --> 0:02:48.080 on low. Yeah that next day, but it was so 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:50.480 exciting and getting the kids off to school and stuff. 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:53.240 So have you gotten used to your Monday Tuesday weekend? 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:56.080 I was going to ask I could write until it ends, 0:02:56.400 --> 0:02:58.760 you know, because well when this airs, will be done 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:01.040 with the movie. So this is my final Oh well 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:04.040 yeah yeah. So it went by fast, which is good. 0:03:04.040 --> 0:03:05.720 But I think I was talking about it. I put 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:09.360 it in my stories where I feel like I I 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:11.480 get overwhelmed and then I settle into things. 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:15.679 So because we had just talked about it, yeah, and 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:17.040 then you were like, oh, this is actually nice. 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:17.440 Yeah. 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:20.200 I loved again, I loved, but I did listen back 0:03:20.480 --> 0:03:22.360 and I did I didn't. 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:22.760 I didn't. 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:24.320 I was like, well, I kind of did said both. 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:26.120 I do love sleeping in my bed, and there's just 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:29.040 so much more responsibility and I not you know, Amy 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:32.000 is our therapist. You know, she'll be like, can you 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:35.240 pay someone to do this? And I'm like, I don't 0:03:35.320 --> 0:03:39.360 want to out any more money than I already do, 0:03:39.480 --> 0:03:42.680 so like I know, like I I'm not going to 0:03:42.720 --> 0:03:44.680 pay someone to do my laundry, right, even though I 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:46.640 know a lot of people that do and have house 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:50.280 managers and stuff, but I just I can't justify that. 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:53.000 So yeah, there's also like an ROI thing for me. 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:58.120 I really love when something's efficient and monetize as well. 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:00.960 So if I'm doing some theme but it cost me 0:04:01.040 --> 0:04:04.200 more to do it, I'm than I would rather just 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:06.840 be with my kids or in my house doing myself. Right, guys, 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:10.840 So I have like such a I had the worst 0:04:10.840 --> 0:04:13.840 thing that happened last night and it kept me up 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:16.919 all night long because you've already not slept. I know, 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:21.760 I know, no so y'all saw Bushy tailed for not sleeping, 0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:27.400 thank fumes, But yeah, literally so last night. 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:31.159 So Alan's in Munich, right, and you guys know this. 0:04:31.480 --> 0:04:32.880 I don't know if I've shared it on here, But 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:35.400 like I used to not be able to sleep alone ever, 0:04:35.760 --> 0:04:38.480 Like I mean, I had the worst anxiety where I 0:04:38.480 --> 0:04:41.480 would wake up again from my abusive relationship where the 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:42.720 guy would throw me out of bed at three in 0:04:42.760 --> 0:04:44.839 the morning. So like truly, I would wake up at 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:47.839 three in the morning with like earth shattering anxiety. So 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:50.159 when I was alone, when I got divorced, that was 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:54.400 my biggest hurdle was I literally almost stayed with him 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:56.239 because I was like, I don't think I can sleep 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:58.719 alone in a house like that was what was in 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:01.040 the back of my mind stop me from divorcing him, 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:04.160 probably one too many times, like oh no, I don't 0:05:04.160 --> 0:05:05.000 know if I could sleep like this. 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:11.840 It was a terrible debilitating the irony whoop boop boo. 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:16.960 But then a mic pun No than sleeping alone, then 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:19.600 I might drop because I love that more. Anyways, moving on, Yeah, 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:20.400 it's just so crazy. 0:05:20.480 --> 0:05:23.360 It's just funny how everybody's so different, right totally well again, 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:26.280 like super line came from like trauma I never had 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:29.479 and until yes, like after and I understand yeah for 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:31.760 that situation, and I like it. I understand people now 0:05:32.000 --> 0:05:33.160 in general for sure. 0:05:33.200 --> 0:05:36.800 But it was weird though, because I it didn't. That 0:05:36.880 --> 0:05:40.880 peace didn't come up until I was in that marriage. 0:05:40.920 --> 0:05:45.479 And so the correlation between being from that traumatic, abusive 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:53.280 relationship and then being in an unhealthy, very toxic situation, uh, 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:58.760 felt very similar. And so it triggered that three in 0:05:58.800 --> 0:06:03.240 the morning. And so when we got divorced. I mean 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:05.640 I remember even when he was in rehab, like I 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:07.359 would have people come over. I'm sure I didn't I 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:09.240 have like you come over one night. Yeah, I would 0:06:09.240 --> 0:06:11.360 have you guys, like sleep over. And that was one 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:12.720 of the reasons where I was like, I need like 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:15.719 I can't divorce it, like I literally like can't sleep 0:06:15.720 --> 0:06:20.040 without him, or I can't be alone. And so when 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:21.880 we finally did and I was forced to do it, 0:06:21.920 --> 0:06:25.000 I then loved it like love, love love love loved it. 0:06:25.400 --> 0:06:25.599 Right. 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:27.640 So now when Alan goes out of town and stuff, 0:06:27.680 --> 0:06:29.520 when he goes to visit a sun or when he goes, 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:33.440 you know, to train his clients, I will wake up, 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:35.960 but I don't have my anxiety anymore, which is great, 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:38.239 Like I'll just go Okay, it's three thirty in the morning, 0:06:38.680 --> 0:06:41.839 but I'm fine, Like I'm okay, no one's coming to 0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.279 hurt me. We're good having said that. 0:06:44.760 --> 0:06:48.479 Oh no, last night I look at my alarm app 0:06:48.720 --> 0:06:52.400 I'm watching Teddy Mellencamp's ring thing of did I see that? 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:52.680 Yes? 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:54.760 Or she got burglarized? Yes, nope, I'm glad I didn't 0:06:54.760 --> 0:06:58.960 see it. Has kept me up every night, like thinking 0:06:59.000 --> 0:07:03.560 about that situation. And I thought about it last night 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:07.919 because I'm home alone, right, So I'm like, let me 0:07:08.000 --> 0:07:10.080 just go to my alarm dot com system, right. 0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:14.240 So I go and I look, and I knew the 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:16.960 night before that I got home at two o'clock in 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:19.840 the morning. So it shows my foyer motion and it 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:23.600 shows the garage door being locked and shut, right, So 0:07:23.920 --> 0:07:28.680 last night at ten thirty at night, I just look right. 0:07:29.160 --> 0:07:32.800 But then it shows the back door being closed at 0:07:32.840 --> 0:07:36.120 like four two in the morning something like crazy, And 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:39.080 I'm like, how did a back door randomly close while 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:41.880 we were sleeping? But like this alarm map is very 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:47.520 specific into the to the tee, so I text out 0:07:47.520 --> 0:07:48.760 and I go, hey, I'm kind of spooks right now. 0:07:48.800 --> 0:07:51.640 And he's again on the plane to Munich landing in 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:55.040 a few hours, and he's like, what's up? And I'm like, 0:07:55.480 --> 0:07:58.440 did you close the door at four something in the morning? 0:07:58.520 --> 0:07:59.000 Yesterday. 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:03.160 He's like, no, oh lord. When I like start sweating 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:05.560 in the bed like this is not going to be fun, 0:08:05.600 --> 0:08:08.360 He's like, Babe, I'm sure everything's fine. Maybe just it 0:08:08.400 --> 0:08:10.840 was like a weird sensor thing like you'll be okay, 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:14.560 set the alarm. So I set the alarm and lo 0:08:14.680 --> 0:08:16.200 and behold. I wake up at three in the morning, 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:20.160 I hear this like like this is like pounding noise, 0:08:20.240 --> 0:08:21.760 like not pounding, but like it was almost like a 0:08:21.760 --> 0:08:25.040 door slap shut. But I obviously know the alarm's on, 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:28.240 so the doors it would censor. I think it was 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:32.560 just the outside sprinkler system. Like I just hear every 0:08:32.600 --> 0:08:34.440 noise right, and I'm very like alert to it. So 0:08:34.480 --> 0:08:37.760 from three to five I am in my like but 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:39.800 again it didn't pick up one of my motions when 0:08:39.800 --> 0:08:41.440 I was like going to the close the door. So 0:08:41.480 --> 0:08:44.480 then I'm at three point thirty in the morning going 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:45.839 like this to my. 0:08:48.280 --> 0:08:51.360 Like if any of my neighbors happening, She's down. No 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:54.400 on my old body. I'm just like like trying to 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:57.319 like run, like ging fake runs like like a psycho 0:08:57.400 --> 0:08:59.120 in front of my camera thing to see if it 0:08:59.160 --> 0:09:01.440 picks it up. Long story short, I was up from 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:04.559 three to five, just like a ball of And I 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:06.760 didn't have anxiety, like it wasn't like right like you 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:08.800 just because normally I would I would pass out. I 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:11.920 would call an ambulance like I was crazy, like anything 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:15.200 like the mediating with anxiety. 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:16.280 Where it was like I didn't even have a second 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:18.920 to like regulate my body was like you're under attack, 0:09:19.080 --> 0:09:21.400 someone's coming, you know this. It's like no, I can 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:23.840 catch my breath. I'm fine, Like it's all of that. 0:09:23.960 --> 0:09:26.120 It was just in my head because I started playing 0:09:26.160 --> 0:09:27.920 back things and then I watched kind of a scary 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:28.920 movie ish before bed. 0:09:28.960 --> 0:09:33.280 That was the wrong call. So it showed the door opening, 0:09:33.880 --> 0:09:36.120 so the just closing. So this is the weird thing. 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:39.360 So I looked right to see at seven o three 0:09:40.200 --> 0:09:43.760 pm or eight something pm the back door was closed. 0:09:44.600 --> 0:09:46.720 Oh no, sorry, it was open open, but then it 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:51.080 closed randomly for something in the morning. Weird anyway, So 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:53.480 that was my I'm a little tired if that's. 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:57.200 Yeah, because I was making it you're not doing like 0:09:57.240 --> 0:09:59.760 your best clear thinking. That also freaked me out because 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:02.480 I'm like, how do I protect me and the babies 0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:05.280 if someone comes in right now? That's that's the anxiety 0:10:05.320 --> 0:10:06.520 I live with. Yeah. 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:09.960 Yeah, because I I'm looking at these guys that tried 0:10:10.000 --> 0:10:10.800 to break into her house. 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:16.559 Am I couldn't have. I'd have been like that it 0:10:16.559 --> 0:10:19.120 it might actually, but not other reasons we think, I know. 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:24.199 Oh anyways, man, that just another time. I'm going to 0:10:24.280 --> 0:10:26.320 tell you the burglar alarm story. We can pin it. 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:29.120 I have so many burglar alarms going off and no 0:10:29.240 --> 0:10:33.440 explanation through my years of house sitting that I it 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:34.600 drives me crazy. 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:37.800 Yeah. Well, and the system went off a couple weeks ago, 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:40.079 but then we're like, is it the fire is it 0:10:40.160 --> 0:10:42.160 the alarm? So it's like, I don't Honestly. 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:43.640 That's one of the reasons I don't have one, because 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:47.400 it it freaked me out so many times on false 0:10:47.440 --> 0:10:50.640 alarms that I was like, I cannot handle this, Like 0:10:50.720 --> 0:10:52.160 it's it's not worth it to me. 0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:57.400 I just remember years went off, like years ago when 0:10:57.400 --> 0:10:59.640 we were at your house or was it the fire. 0:10:59.400 --> 0:11:01.800 Alarm that was We thought it was the alarm. Then 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:03.000 the fireman, kid, it was. 0:11:03.000 --> 0:11:03.640 A whole thing. 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:07.240 It was a whole thing. Oh my goodness, it's funny though. Yeah, 0:11:07.760 --> 0:11:09.760 I was firemen and I was like hanging out with us. 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:11.720 I just feel like that turned out okay. 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:15.680 We had a whole enirement and you're like, are you 0:11:15.720 --> 0:11:17.839 guys paid or is this we liked? 0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:19.480 There was a fire? 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:21.439 We need to The thing is we're asking all the 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:25.000 questions as the alarms will not stop going all and 0:11:25.040 --> 0:11:25.320 I was like. 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:27.960 Hi, like, hey, so do you guys? 0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:29.720 I know this? 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:33.360 You don't have a wedding ring on. Anyways, that's my update. 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:36.959 That's a good one. Thank you. How's everyone? 0:11:37.080 --> 0:11:38.760 Well, her kids aren't in school yet, I guess, But 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:40.680 how how is it with kids back in school? 0:11:40.920 --> 0:11:41.199 Great? 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:43.840 Yeah, yeah, Jason is kind of giving a little bit 0:11:43.880 --> 0:11:45.400 of a I don't want to go to school, but 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:46.680 you know the first week. 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:50.720 Yeah, I didn't love it when I was little, Like 0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:52.480 I mean, I had a belly ache like that. I 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:57.400 remember all the time up until about like fifth grade beyond. Actually, 0:11:57.480 --> 0:12:00.080 I didn't like the first day of school at all. 0:12:00.240 --> 0:12:03.079 I just don't want to get up. I can't, none 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:03.360 of us. 0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:05.200 I could get my kids to sleep in, that would 0:12:05.240 --> 0:12:07.640 be amazing, no matter what time they go to bed. 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:09.520 Their rise in chine at six thirty. 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:12.520 A same thing. What is that? I don't know? They 0:12:12.559 --> 0:12:15.640 just love the morning. I know other morning people early 0:12:15.679 --> 0:12:18.680 bedtime though. There we go. Yeah, I'm trying to get 0:12:18.679 --> 0:12:34.160 that back positive whine about it. What you got, Kristen, 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:40.079 because you came in. I okay, I'm gonna I will go. 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:42.680 We'll go high up, high level because it doesn't we 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:46.000 don't need to get into trenches. But I feel like 0:12:46.120 --> 0:12:50.200 I'm very flexible. I'm a very a type person, and 0:12:50.320 --> 0:12:54.319 I am a little OCD that's like diagnosed. So I 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:58.000 know that I enjoy a plan and I enjoy a 0:12:58.040 --> 0:13:01.959 standard operating procedure. A laminated sheet with rules is kind 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:04.800 of a you know, do you have your own laminator? 0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:11.160 I wish now that is a bucket list. So I 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:13.080 just feel like the world that I live in in 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:16.160 the industry I live in. And we started our own 0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:18.640 label like a year and a half ago, our own 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:23.520 record label. So that's added another full schedule woven inside 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:28.280 of all these other schedules. The amount of shifting and 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:35.400 pivoting and flexibility I have had is like wearing down 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:39.440 my nervous system. So I brought it to Amy because 0:13:39.440 --> 0:13:41.360 I'm like, listen, I'm not afraid to be wrong or 0:13:41.440 --> 0:13:43.520 need to do more work in these areas like I'm 0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:46.560 really not if you're like you're a control freak, get 0:13:46.559 --> 0:13:48.840 over it and let's figure it out. She would never 0:13:48.840 --> 0:13:50.319 say it like that, but if that's what I need 0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:54.640 to do, I would do it. But I also have 0:13:54.840 --> 0:13:57.080 all of these systems in these things, in these little 0:13:57.120 --> 0:14:00.480 ways I operate because it creates a consus instancy for 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:03.640 my kids that they wouldn't otherwise have because we don't 0:14:03.640 --> 0:14:07.600 have a data consistently hardly. Ever, we get him for 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:09.720 thirty six hours, he leaves again, we think we're going 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:11.679 to get him for five days, like last week, we 0:14:11.720 --> 0:14:15.120 get him for two days instead. So that beach trip 0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:18.320 that we did was a really fun reframe of us 0:14:18.559 --> 0:14:21.480 losing three days of vacation with him. So instead we 0:14:21.600 --> 0:14:23.880 took the biggies to the beach and made it Biggie's 0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:28.800 beach vacation. They lived. It was awesome, and we left 0:14:28.800 --> 0:14:30.360 the baby at home so we could uber and it 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:34.240 was great. But I'm just doing a constant reframing, shifting, 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:40.240 pivoting all of the time in every area, and I'm 0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:46.240 a little war out and a little irritable. My tolerance 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:50.920 is down, and I'm just kind of done being flexible, 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:57.880 Like I'm tired of accommodating to make sure everyone is 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:01.840 feeling great and then feeling depleted. Which I'm an enneagram too. 0:15:01.840 --> 0:15:03.520 I don't know if y'all really believe in that, but 0:15:03.600 --> 0:15:06.440 like I'm a solid too with a one wing. So 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:08.840 justice is great and I love to help out a 0:15:08.840 --> 0:15:11.000 detriment to myself sometimes, but I've gotten so good. I 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:14.200 feel like at better boundaries, and I just feel like 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:16.120 I try to create a boundary and I'm like, I've 0:15:16.120 --> 0:15:18.160 got this. It's not that I'm not saying what I need, 0:15:18.360 --> 0:15:23.360 it's just that it doesn't get honored hardly anywhere. So 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:26.880 he told me. She told me I needed to leave 0:15:26.920 --> 0:15:29.200 my last appointment with her and fight for myself. Was 0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.480 the quote that I needed to block the calendar because 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:35.640 we have a ten year wedding anniversary coming up in September, 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:39.760 and he as a show on our anniversary. It's a Sunday, 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:41.800 so I thought for sure we would have that together, 0:15:41.920 --> 0:15:44.240 and now he has a show. Fine, but there I 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:47.240 am right being flexible. So I'm going to meet him 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:49.080 in Miami and do the show, and then we're going 0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:51.800 to go from Miami somewhere probably southern Florida, just so 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:54.040 we don't spend days traveling and we can just be together. 0:15:54.880 --> 0:15:58.120 But I put my first ever block on the calendar. 0:15:58.280 --> 0:15:58.520 Yay. 0:15:59.120 --> 0:16:02.120 Ever ten years, I've never blocked our calendar, not even 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:06.000 for babies. It's great, yeah, like their work calendar. Yeah, 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:09.680 like it says brust block nice, really proud of yea. 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:13.920 I will it stay? They better not delete your block. Well, 0:16:15.120 --> 0:16:17.400 I don't know. I just feel like the whine about 0:16:17.440 --> 0:16:20.120 it is sometimes the flexible people are tired too. 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:21.400 Well. 0:16:21.440 --> 0:16:23.760 I think it's important to tell him that it's important 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:26.240 to you. Yeah too, like if it was to get 0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:29.320 potential unblocked. It's like, no, we need this and this 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:32.160 is important not only to me but for us. Yeah, 0:16:32.200 --> 0:16:33.640 And he's guarded to speak that. 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:36.240 Before I blocked it, but I was like, actually would 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:38.200 love that to be official, because it's hard to like 0:16:39.000 --> 0:16:42.840 it's also like scientifically proven. If you plan vacations, it's 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:45.600 like really good for you to look forward to something absolutely, 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:48.320 And I don't feel like I'm getting that. Yeah, Like 0:16:48.360 --> 0:16:50.680 I don't get to look forward to anything fully because 0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:52.080 it just changes every five minutes. 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:52.680 Sure. 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:55.400 Literally the last time was record breaking. It was I 0:16:55.480 --> 0:16:58.640 planned the Orlando trip within ten minutes. He came through 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:01.200 on a conference call and he's like, nights out, we 0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:03.800 can do this now. And I just looked at sweet 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:07.080 Saint Christine and I go record breaking. She was like unreal, 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:12.440 Like it's just so yeah. I just I am because 0:17:12.480 --> 0:17:14.240 I can operate well and it doesn't mean I sometimes 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:16.760 want to yeah well. 0:17:16.560 --> 0:17:20.040 And I think like scheduled, Like I'm not OCD at all, 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:23.439 but I am about a schedule like I can be flexible, 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:25.440 but at the same time, like you know, like we're 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:26.840 very scheduled, like we. 0:17:27.000 --> 0:17:29.000 Love to have, but even yesterday you can bring that up. 0:17:29.080 --> 0:17:33.600 Is a perfect example what you helped me take something 0:17:33.640 --> 0:17:36.280 off the calendar that I was like, no, like I 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:38.399 had to meet that and she was like, yeah, this 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:40.800 sounds not great on your day off, yeah you know, 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:42.600 and I was like, you're right. I just didn't want 0:17:42.600 --> 0:17:44.680 to say I didn't want to do it, yeah, because 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:46.680 I'm tired and I didn't want to let down people 0:17:46.760 --> 0:17:47.119 or whatever. 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:48.399 And she's like, no, we can move it. 0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:50.440 And I was like great, thank you, absolutely, And I 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:52.360 like having someone advocating to so well. 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:53.159 I think it's important. 0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:55.720 There's those moments, right, there's those moments where like this 0:17:56.800 --> 0:17:59.880 is able to be moved, we can be flexible here, 0:18:00.240 --> 0:18:02.600 and then there's things where we can't be flexible here, 0:18:02.640 --> 0:18:05.520 so being able to but again, like I love a schedule, 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:07.399 I love sticking to a schedule. I love all that, 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:12.439 so it will get me irritable at times too, but knowing, okay, 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:16.000 your anniversary block, for instance, this is somewhere I can't 0:18:16.000 --> 0:18:19.280 be flexible X, Y, and Z, I can be flexible, 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:21.679 you know, and kind of recognizing those things because some 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:23.800 things are going to make you more upset, more irritable 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:25.359 if they move than other things. 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:27.080 Well, Jannet even talked about it because I was like, 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:30.840 do you remember even with Scotland, Yeah, shaking scotlansh that 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:35.760 stressed me out, like up until the week before, even 0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:38.719 until I was like doing this trip solo. I mean, 0:18:38.760 --> 0:18:39.879 I get why you have to do that. 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:42.479 So I'm not coming down, but like I couldn't function 0:18:42.560 --> 0:18:43.760 in that world that. 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:46.040 Way, even though we have that world that is that 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:50.480 was tough. Yeah, yeah, it's just wild and I'm I 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:52.960 don't know, I'm just trying to find, like you know, 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:55.959 even school for us, which a couple of things you'll 0:18:56.000 --> 0:18:59.040 be proud of for me, proud of me for I 0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:04.959 scheduled my consultation for my potential lift nice and then 0:19:05.000 --> 0:19:08.520 it got moved speaking of because we scheduled a number 0:19:08.520 --> 0:19:12.119 one party on the same day. Oh, totally fine. But 0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:16.879 also I feel like I might send those kids to 0:19:16.880 --> 0:19:19.520 five day week school after this next year. Yeah, we 0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:23.000 talked about that last time. That would be like good consistency. Ye, 0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:27.199 it would feel consistent for us. Yeah, And and they're ready, 0:19:27.240 --> 0:19:30.679 which is huge. But I think like just little things, 0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:34.119