Speaker 1: Whine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio podcast.
Speaker 1: Hi girls, Hi, Hi Kramer. Hi You're good. I'm great. Good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how are you guys? Good? I think Kristen she just
Speaker 1: gave me the eyeball, like, fine, she's great.
Speaker 2: She's just really coasting through, like which one are we referencing?
Speaker 3: You?
Speaker 1: Are you me? So? Yeah? I'm fine.
Speaker 4: You know what's so funny is when you ask someone
Speaker 4: they're like, I'm great.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, are you sure? Yeah, it's likely. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm definitely lying. Okay. I just can't tell if it's
Speaker 1: like it's very all or nothing, like do I just go, oh,
Speaker 1: but it's just you know, it's all as well. I
Speaker 1: can whine about it. Actually, okay, if you have any
Speaker 1: pins there fore, it's totally fine and I can just
Speaker 1: keep pushing it all down. I seem to be really
Speaker 1: good at that lately. It seems to be the way
Speaker 1: to go. Yeah, sh it down, no time to cry.
Speaker 1: It would be the title of my book if I
Speaker 1: wrote one right now. It's actually a great title, don't
Speaker 1: you like it? Yeah? I actually wrote it down because
Speaker 1: I thought maybe there is something to that I can
Speaker 1: writing a book. I'd love to do that. You should time,
Speaker 1: you should. I just don't have time to cry much.
Speaker 1: Let's write a book. No time to cry, no time
Speaker 1: to fire up the keyboard again.
Speaker 4: Well, speaking of, it's quite funny because I had just
Speaker 4: sent my editor, I'm sorry, my my public agent, book agent,
Speaker 4: I said, six months later, here's your proposal. She had
Speaker 4: asked at least six months ago. Yeah, I just like
Speaker 4: it's been I haven't had a second to sit down,
Speaker 4: and so it's been in between set. Yeah, where I've
Speaker 4: been because I have all my thoughts. I just had
Speaker 4: to glue them together.
Speaker 1: I feel like something like that.
Speaker 2: You've got to be like ready to do it though, Yeah,
Speaker 2: and not just like forced.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: It's just hard to find the time to have hours
Speaker 4: to like sit I've been doing it on my lunch
Speaker 4: breaks because I have an hour.
Speaker 1: I don't like lunch. I can't take the hour lunch.
Speaker 1: It's awful.
Speaker 4: I would just rather not have anything, to be honest.
Speaker 4: And what's funny is I always thought that the crew
Speaker 4: liked the hour because it's their chance to but they
Speaker 4: they also were like, no, I'd rather just have a
Speaker 4: grazing lunch. Yeah, because you're just tired, you get out
Speaker 4: of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, kind of get done early. Yeah, but with you
Speaker 1: working lunches were always my jam in the corporate world.
Speaker 1: Love yeah, like give me a box salad gym and
Speaker 1: let's talk about your power point. Power point girl. So
Speaker 1: any updates from the movie.
Speaker 4: I mean nothing that's like no, just you know, one
Speaker 4: from like filming till two in the morning and then
Speaker 4: waking up for first day of school. But it was
Speaker 4: that stuff was so fun, like I was just running
Speaker 4: on low. Yeah that next day, but it was so
Speaker 4: exciting and getting the kids off to school and stuff.
Speaker 2: So have you gotten used to your Monday Tuesday weekend?
Speaker 4: I was going to ask I could write until it ends,
Speaker 4: you know, because well when this airs, will be done
Speaker 4: with the movie. So this is my final Oh well
Speaker 4: yeah yeah. So it went by fast, which is good.
Speaker 4: But I think I was talking about it. I put
Speaker 4: it in my stories where I feel like I I
Speaker 4: get overwhelmed and then I settle into things.
Speaker 2: So because we had just talked about it, yeah, and
Speaker 2: then you were like, oh, this is actually nice.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I loved again, I loved, but I did listen back
Speaker 4: and I did I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't.
Speaker 4: I was like, well, I kind of did said both.
Speaker 4: I do love sleeping in my bed, and there's just
Speaker 4: so much more responsibility and I not you know, Amy
Speaker 4: is our therapist. You know, she'll be like, can you
Speaker 4: pay someone to do this? And I'm like, I don't
Speaker 4: want to out any more money than I already do,
Speaker 4: so like I know, like I I'm not going to
Speaker 4: pay someone to do my laundry, right, even though I
Speaker 4: know a lot of people that do and have house
Speaker 4: managers and stuff, but I just I can't justify that.
Speaker 1: So yeah, there's also like an ROI thing for me.
Speaker 1: I really love when something's efficient and monetize as well.
Speaker 1: So if I'm doing some theme but it cost me
Speaker 1: more to do it, I'm than I would rather just
Speaker 1: be with my kids or in my house doing myself. Right, guys,
Speaker 1: So I have like such a I had the worst
Speaker 1: thing that happened last night and it kept me up
Speaker 1: all night long because you've already not slept. I know,
Speaker 1: I know, no so y'all saw Bushy tailed for not sleeping,
Speaker 1: thank fumes, But yeah, literally so last night.
Speaker 4: So Alan's in Munich, right, and you guys know this.
Speaker 4: I don't know if I've shared it on here, But
Speaker 4: like I used to not be able to sleep alone ever,
Speaker 4: Like I mean, I had the worst anxiety where I
Speaker 4: would wake up again from my abusive relationship where the
Speaker 4: guy would throw me out of bed at three in
Speaker 4: the morning. So like truly, I would wake up at
Speaker 4: three in the morning with like earth shattering anxiety. So
Speaker 4: when I was alone, when I got divorced, that was
Speaker 4: my biggest hurdle was I literally almost stayed with him
Speaker 4: because I was like, I don't think I can sleep
Speaker 4: alone in a house like that was what was in
Speaker 4: the back of my mind stop me from divorcing him,
Speaker 4: probably one too many times, like oh no, I don't
Speaker 4: know if I could sleep like this.
Speaker 1: It was a terrible debilitating the irony whoop boop boo.
Speaker 1: But then a mic pun No than sleeping alone, then
Speaker 1: I might drop because I love that more. Anyways, moving on, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's just so crazy.
Speaker 2: It's just funny how everybody's so different, right totally well again,
Speaker 2: like super line came from like trauma I never had
Speaker 2: and until yes, like after and I understand yeah for
Speaker 2: that situation, and I like it. I understand people now
Speaker 2: in general for sure.
Speaker 4: But it was weird though, because I it didn't. That
Speaker 4: peace didn't come up until I was in that marriage.
Speaker 4: And so the correlation between being from that traumatic, abusive
Speaker 4: relationship and then being in an unhealthy, very toxic situation, uh,
Speaker 4: felt very similar. And so it triggered that three in
Speaker 4: the morning. And so when we got divorced. I mean
Speaker 4: I remember even when he was in rehab, like I
Speaker 4: would have people come over. I'm sure I didn't I
Speaker 4: have like you come over one night. Yeah, I would
Speaker 4: have you guys, like sleep over. And that was one
Speaker 4: of the reasons where I was like, I need like
Speaker 4: I can't divorce it, like I literally like can't sleep
Speaker 4: without him, or I can't be alone. And so when
Speaker 4: we finally did and I was forced to do it,
Speaker 4: I then loved it like love, love love love loved it.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 4: So now when Alan goes out of town and stuff,
Speaker 4: when he goes to visit a sun or when he goes,
Speaker 4: you know, to train his clients, I will wake up,
Speaker 4: but I don't have my anxiety anymore, which is great,
Speaker 4: Like I'll just go Okay, it's three thirty in the morning,
Speaker 4: but I'm fine, Like I'm okay, no one's coming to
Speaker 4: hurt me. We're good having said that.
Speaker 1: Oh no, last night I look at my alarm app
Speaker 1: I'm watching Teddy Mellencamp's ring thing of did I see that?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: Or she got burglarized? Yes, nope, I'm glad I didn't
Speaker 1: see it. Has kept me up every night, like thinking
Speaker 1: about that situation. And I thought about it last night
Speaker 1: because I'm home alone, right, So I'm like, let me
Speaker 1: just go to my alarm dot com system, right.
Speaker 4: So I go and I look, and I knew the
Speaker 4: night before that I got home at two o'clock in
Speaker 4: the morning. So it shows my foyer motion and it
Speaker 4: shows the garage door being locked and shut, right, So
Speaker 4: last night at ten thirty at night, I just look right.
Speaker 4: But then it shows the back door being closed at
Speaker 4: like four two in the morning something like crazy, And
Speaker 4: I'm like, how did a back door randomly close while
Speaker 4: we were sleeping? But like this alarm map is very
Speaker 4: specific into the to the tee, so I text out
Speaker 4: and I go, hey, I'm kind of spooks right now.
Speaker 4: And he's again on the plane to Munich landing in
Speaker 4: a few hours, and he's like, what's up? And I'm like,
Speaker 4: did you close the door at four something in the morning?
Speaker 1: Yesterday.
Speaker 4: He's like, no, oh lord. When I like start sweating
Speaker 4: in the bed like this is not going to be fun,
Speaker 4: He's like, Babe, I'm sure everything's fine. Maybe just it
Speaker 4: was like a weird sensor thing like you'll be okay,
Speaker 4: set the alarm. So I set the alarm and lo
Speaker 4: and behold. I wake up at three in the morning,
Speaker 4: I hear this like like this is like pounding noise,
Speaker 4: like not pounding, but like it was almost like a
Speaker 4: door slap shut. But I obviously know the alarm's on,
Speaker 4: so the doors it would censor. I think it was
Speaker 4: just the outside sprinkler system. Like I just hear every
Speaker 4: noise right, and I'm very like alert to it. So
Speaker 4: from three to five I am in my like but
Speaker 4: again it didn't pick up one of my motions when
Speaker 4: I was like going to the close the door. So
Speaker 4: then I'm at three point thirty in the morning going
Speaker 4: like this to my.
Speaker 1: Like if any of my neighbors happening, She's down. No
Speaker 1: on my old body. I'm just like like trying to
Speaker 1: like run, like ging fake runs like like a psycho
Speaker 1: in front of my camera thing to see if it
Speaker 1: picks it up. Long story short, I was up from
Speaker 1: three to five, just like a ball of And I
Speaker 1: didn't have anxiety, like it wasn't like right like you
Speaker 1: just because normally I would I would pass out. I
Speaker 1: would call an ambulance like I was crazy, like anything
Speaker 1: like the mediating with anxiety.
Speaker 4: Where it was like I didn't even have a second
Speaker 4: to like regulate my body was like you're under attack,
Speaker 4: someone's coming, you know this. It's like no, I can
Speaker 4: catch my breath. I'm fine, Like it's all of that.
Speaker 4: It was just in my head because I started playing
Speaker 4: back things and then I watched kind of a scary
Speaker 4: movie ish before bed.
Speaker 1: That was the wrong call. So it showed the door opening,
Speaker 1: so the just closing. So this is the weird thing.
Speaker 4: So I looked right to see at seven o three
Speaker 4: pm or eight something pm the back door was closed.
Speaker 4: Oh no, sorry, it was open open, but then it
Speaker 4: closed randomly for something in the morning. Weird anyway, So
Speaker 4: that was my I'm a little tired if that's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I was making it you're not doing like
Speaker 1: your best clear thinking. That also freaked me out because
Speaker 1: I'm like, how do I protect me and the babies
Speaker 1: if someone comes in right now? That's that's the anxiety
Speaker 1: I live with. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I I'm looking at these guys that tried
Speaker 4: to break into her house.
Speaker 1: Am I couldn't have. I'd have been like that it
Speaker 1: it might actually, but not other reasons we think, I know.
Speaker 1: Oh anyways, man, that just another time. I'm going to
Speaker 1: tell you the burglar alarm story. We can pin it.
Speaker 2: I have so many burglar alarms going off and no
Speaker 2: explanation through my years of house sitting that I it
Speaker 2: drives me crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, and the system went off a couple weeks ago,
Speaker 1: but then we're like, is it the fire is it
Speaker 1: the alarm? So it's like, I don't Honestly.
Speaker 2: That's one of the reasons I don't have one, because
Speaker 2: it it freaked me out so many times on false
Speaker 2: alarms that I was like, I cannot handle this, Like
Speaker 2: it's it's not worth it to me.
Speaker 1: I just remember years went off, like years ago when
Speaker 1: we were at your house or was it the fire.
Speaker 4: Alarm that was We thought it was the alarm. Then
Speaker 4: the fireman, kid, it was.
Speaker 5: A whole thing.
Speaker 1: It was a whole thing. Oh my goodness, it's funny though. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was firemen and I was like hanging out with us.
Speaker 1: I just feel like that turned out okay.
Speaker 2: We had a whole enirement and you're like, are you
Speaker 2: guys paid or is this we liked?
Speaker 1: There was a fire?
Speaker 2: We need to The thing is we're asking all the
Speaker 2: questions as the alarms will not stop going all and
Speaker 2: I was like.
Speaker 1: Hi, like, hey, so do you guys?
Speaker 5: I know this?
Speaker 1: You don't have a wedding ring on. Anyways, that's my update.
Speaker 1: That's a good one. Thank you. How's everyone?
Speaker 2: Well, her kids aren't in school yet, I guess, But
Speaker 2: how how is it with kids back in school?
Speaker 1: Great?
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, Jason is kind of giving a little bit
Speaker 4: of a I don't want to go to school, but
Speaker 4: you know the first week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't love it when I was little, Like
Speaker 1: I mean, I had a belly ache like that. I
Speaker 1: remember all the time up until about like fifth grade beyond. Actually,
Speaker 1: I didn't like the first day of school at all.
Speaker 1: I just don't want to get up. I can't, none
Speaker 1: of us.
Speaker 4: I could get my kids to sleep in, that would
Speaker 4: be amazing, no matter what time they go to bed.
Speaker 4: Their rise in chine at six thirty.
Speaker 1: A same thing. What is that? I don't know? They
Speaker 1: just love the morning. I know other morning people early
Speaker 1: bedtime though. There we go. Yeah, I'm trying to get
Speaker 1: that back positive whine about it. What you got, Kristen,
Speaker 1: because you came in. I okay, I'm gonna I will go.
Speaker 1: We'll go high up, high level because it doesn't we
Speaker 1: don't need to get into trenches. But I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm very flexible. I'm a very a type person, and
Speaker 1: I am a little OCD that's like diagnosed. So I
Speaker 1: know that I enjoy a plan and I enjoy a
Speaker 1: standard operating procedure. A laminated sheet with rules is kind
Speaker 1: of a you know, do you have your own laminator?
Speaker 1: I wish now that is a bucket list. So I
Speaker 1: just feel like the world that I live in in
Speaker 1: the industry I live in. And we started our own
Speaker 1: label like a year and a half ago, our own
Speaker 1: record label. So that's added another full schedule woven inside
Speaker 1: of all these other schedules. The amount of shifting and
Speaker 1: pivoting and flexibility I have had is like wearing down
Speaker 1: my nervous system. So I brought it to Amy because
Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, I'm not afraid to be wrong or
Speaker 1: need to do more work in these areas like I'm
Speaker 1: really not if you're like you're a control freak, get
Speaker 1: over it and let's figure it out. She would never
Speaker 1: say it like that, but if that's what I need
Speaker 1: to do, I would do it. But I also have
Speaker 1: all of these systems in these things, in these little
Speaker 1: ways I operate because it creates a consus instancy for
Speaker 1: my kids that they wouldn't otherwise have because we don't
Speaker 1: have a data consistently hardly. Ever, we get him for
Speaker 1: thirty six hours, he leaves again, we think we're going
Speaker 1: to get him for five days, like last week, we
Speaker 1: get him for two days instead. So that beach trip
Speaker 1: that we did was a really fun reframe of us
Speaker 1: losing three days of vacation with him. So instead we
Speaker 1: took the biggies to the beach and made it Biggie's
Speaker 1: beach vacation. They lived. It was awesome, and we left
Speaker 1: the baby at home so we could uber and it
Speaker 1: was great. But I'm just doing a constant reframing, shifting,
Speaker 1: pivoting all of the time in every area, and I'm
Speaker 1: a little war out and a little irritable. My tolerance
Speaker 1: is down, and I'm just kind of done being flexible,
Speaker 1: Like I'm tired of accommodating to make sure everyone is
Speaker 1: feeling great and then feeling depleted. Which I'm an enneagram too.
Speaker 1: I don't know if y'all really believe in that, but
Speaker 1: like I'm a solid too with a one wing. So
Speaker 1: justice is great and I love to help out a
Speaker 1: detriment to myself sometimes, but I've gotten so good. I
Speaker 1: feel like at better boundaries, and I just feel like
Speaker 1: I try to create a boundary and I'm like, I've
Speaker 1: got this. It's not that I'm not saying what I need,
Speaker 1: it's just that it doesn't get honored hardly anywhere. So
Speaker 1: he told me. She told me I needed to leave
Speaker 1: my last appointment with her and fight for myself. Was
Speaker 1: the quote that I needed to block the calendar because
Speaker 1: we have a ten year wedding anniversary coming up in September,
Speaker 1: and he as a show on our anniversary. It's a Sunday,
Speaker 1: so I thought for sure we would have that together,
Speaker 1: and now he has a show. Fine, but there I
Speaker 1: am right being flexible. So I'm going to meet him
Speaker 1: in Miami and do the show, and then we're going
Speaker 1: to go from Miami somewhere probably southern Florida, just so
Speaker 1: we don't spend days traveling and we can just be together.
Speaker 1: But I put my first ever block on the calendar.
Speaker 5: Yay.
Speaker 1: Ever ten years, I've never blocked our calendar, not even
Speaker 1: for babies. It's great, yeah, like their work calendar. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like it says brust block nice, really proud of yea.
Speaker 1: I will it stay? They better not delete your block. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just feel like the whine about
Speaker 1: it is sometimes the flexible people are tired too.
Speaker 5: Well.
Speaker 4: I think it's important to tell him that it's important
Speaker 4: to you. Yeah too, like if it was to get
Speaker 4: potential unblocked. It's like, no, we need this and this
Speaker 4: is important not only to me but for us. Yeah,
Speaker 4: And he's guarded to speak that.
Speaker 1: Before I blocked it, but I was like, actually would
Speaker 1: love that to be official, because it's hard to like
Speaker 1: it's also like scientifically proven. If you plan vacations, it's
Speaker 1: like really good for you to look forward to something absolutely,
Speaker 1: And I don't feel like I'm getting that. Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: I don't get to look forward to anything fully because
Speaker 1: it just changes every five minutes.
Speaker 5: Sure.
Speaker 1: Literally the last time was record breaking. It was I
Speaker 1: planned the Orlando trip within ten minutes. He came through
Speaker 1: on a conference call and he's like, nights out, we
Speaker 1: can do this now. And I just looked at sweet
Speaker 1: Saint Christine and I go record breaking. She was like unreal,
Speaker 1: Like it's just so yeah. I just I am because
Speaker 1: I can operate well and it doesn't mean I sometimes
Speaker 1: want to yeah well.
Speaker 2: And I think like scheduled, Like I'm not OCD at all,
Speaker 2: but I am about a schedule like I can be flexible,
Speaker 2: but at the same time, like you know, like we're
Speaker 2: very scheduled, like we.
Speaker 4: Love to have, but even yesterday you can bring that up.
Speaker 4: Is a perfect example what you helped me take something
Speaker 4: off the calendar that I was like, no, like I
Speaker 4: had to meet that and she was like, yeah, this
Speaker 4: sounds not great on your day off, yeah you know,
Speaker 4: and I was like, you're right. I just didn't want
Speaker 4: to say I didn't want to do it, yeah, because
Speaker 4: I'm tired and I didn't want to let down people
Speaker 4: or whatever.
Speaker 1: And she's like, no, we can move it.
Speaker 4: And I was like great, thank you, absolutely, And I
Speaker 4: like having someone advocating to so well.
Speaker 1: I think it's important.
Speaker 2: There's those moments, right, there's those moments where like this
Speaker 2: is able to be moved, we can be flexible here,
Speaker 2: and then there's things where we can't be flexible here,
Speaker 2: so being able to but again, like I love a schedule,
Speaker 2: I love sticking to a schedule. I love all that,
Speaker 2: so it will get me irritable at times too, but knowing, okay,
Speaker 2: your anniversary block, for instance, this is somewhere I can't
Speaker 2: be flexible X, Y, and Z, I can be flexible,
Speaker 2: you know, and kind of recognizing those things because some
Speaker 2: things are going to make you more upset, more irritable
Speaker 2: if they move than other things.
Speaker 1: Well, Jannet even talked about it because I was like,
Speaker 1: do you remember even with Scotland, Yeah, shaking scotlansh that
Speaker 1: stressed me out, like up until the week before, even
Speaker 1: until I was like doing this trip solo. I mean,
Speaker 1: I get why you have to do that.
Speaker 2: So I'm not coming down, but like I couldn't function
Speaker 2: in that world that.
Speaker 1: Way, even though we have that world that is that
Speaker 1: was tough. Yeah, yeah, it's just wild and I'm I
Speaker 1: don't know, I'm just trying to find, like you know,
Speaker 1: even school for us, which a couple of things you'll
Speaker 1: be proud of for me, proud of me for I
Speaker 1: scheduled my consultation for my potential lift nice and then
Speaker 1: it got moved speaking of because we scheduled a number
Speaker 1: one party on the same day. Oh, totally fine. But
Speaker 1: also I feel like I might send those kids to
Speaker 1: five day week school after this next year. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: talked about that last time. That would be like good consistency. Ye,
Speaker 1: it would feel consistent for us. Yeah, And and they're ready,
Speaker 1: which is huge. But I think like just little things,
Speaker 1: like I actually applied to that school, which is like
Speaker 1: a step, and not because I don't love where we are,
Speaker 1: but just because I'm like, Okay, we've outgrown this and
Speaker 1: what we need is different. Yeah. I love that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but it's I'm just tired of being the flexible one.
Speaker 1: Yeah for a minute, Yeah, I get that. And maybe
Speaker 1: if if the larger thing's stuck and I didn't have
Speaker 1: to be flexible, then maybe the little things would be like, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe that's what I feel like could help because now
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to grab anything. I can tell. It's
Speaker 1: a control feeling.
Speaker 2: Things get just really frustrating, Whereas in my opinion, I
Speaker 2: don't think they would be as frustrating if the bigger
Speaker 2: things really took weight and.
Speaker 1: Yeah we're held Yeah, but maybe try that. Can we
Speaker 1: move on to a headline this week? Yes do It?
Speaker 4: Bachelor's Madison Pruitt and Husband's and Husbands spark backlash after
Speaker 4: saying it'll be hilarious to spank their baby daughter Hoseanna,
Speaker 4: and I just I have to because I think this matters. Yes,
Speaker 4: is how he said it. So I just want people
Speaker 4: to hear it before we go into it. And we
Speaker 4: have the whole context of what this is. So let
Speaker 4: me just play the clip from.
Speaker 1: Really Smart, because I do think context matters that sentence. Yeah,
Speaker 1: here we go.
Speaker 4: So I'm gonna play this for you guys right now,
Speaker 4: I have a child.
Speaker 3: You don't just discipline them for being good and obeying you,
Speaker 3: right like if Hosanna obeysis, We're not like come here, girl,
Speaker 3: come here, all right, pull them down, get the you know, mama,
Speaker 3: which will be hilarious when we start spanking, which we
Speaker 3: will on the record. Because the Bible it says folly
Speaker 3: is bound up in a child, but discipline drives it
Speaker 3: far away.
Speaker 1: Some people could say, well, you can discipline them with timeouts.
Speaker 1: Hold on it says with the rod. First of all,
Speaker 1: I have to ask a question. Answer.
Speaker 2: Was he saying it will I don't to me, and
Speaker 2: this is not depending anything, because I have a lot
Speaker 2: of thoughts on this, But it didn't sound like he
Speaker 2: was saying it will be hilarious when we spank her.
Speaker 2: I think what he was saying to because he was
Speaker 2: first talking about we don't just thank them when they
Speaker 2: do like good.
Speaker 3: Things, Jesus, We're not like, come here, girl, come here,
Speaker 3: all right, pull him down, get the you know, mama,
Speaker 3: which will be hilarious when we start spanking, which.
Speaker 1: Will be hilarious.
Speaker 2: When we started, I couldn't tell if he was talking
Speaker 2: about hilarious with what he was talking about beforehand, or
Speaker 2: if okay, yeah, yes, was a.
Speaker 1: Good I wanted to make sure. I wanted to make
Speaker 1: sure before.
Speaker 4: I wanted to make sure from context of things, yeap,
Speaker 4: So go for it. I know we've talked about spanking
Speaker 4: and discipline obviously on the show, but his.
Speaker 1: Joyfulness is the most same. I mean, it's weird. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm just that's just had more context to it because
Speaker 1: he seems so.
Speaker 4: His context is that when we're talking about the Bible
Speaker 4: and the Rod and now I just don't understand the
Speaker 4: first part. So basically he's saying that about the obeying
Speaker 4: with what she.
Speaker 2: Was saying, like, it's not like we're going to spank
Speaker 2: her when she's obeying. That's the part I don't understand.
Speaker 2: And I'm curious where this joy and happiness comes from
Speaker 2: with talking about spanking. That's where I'm very I feel
Speaker 2: like we're missing something.
Speaker 1: I think it's also wild to listen. I think the
Speaker 1: conversations preemptively before your parents is smart to go like
Speaker 1: how would you handle this? How would you Also, it's
Speaker 1: just wild to automatic assume they're gonna have to spank
Speaker 1: this child. It sounds like they've already discussed it though,
Speaker 1: but like to assume that you would, like I never
Speaker 1: we talked about our views on it at home, Preston
Speaker 1: and right, but I never assumed i'd have to spank
Speaker 1: love Like I never was like, oh, and when I
Speaker 1: do have to spank her, like, I don't know that.
Speaker 1: It all feels very like if I if it ever
Speaker 1: got to that point, what's your view on it or whatever?
Speaker 1: Is a discussion. But yeah, how old is this kid? Baby? Right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think yeah, baby is it's a strange thing, like
Speaker 1: I've never forward thought about hitting my kid. I guess
Speaker 1: the part that I definitely talked about, yeah, and you've
Speaker 1: talked about that you have your kids absolutely yeah and
Speaker 1: so and that's where it's like, again, that's something that
Speaker 1: I because you weren't spanked as a kid, right, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: oh you were okay for sure? Well so same but
Speaker 1: it was not great on like my end of it.
Speaker 1: So for me, I you know that piece of it.
Speaker 1: I think along with my past, that's where it's just
Speaker 1: I think there are other ways to discipline. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's that the spanking is out of the
Speaker 1: parents and this isn't like against you at all. I'm
Speaker 1: just curious when parents do spank, is it out of
Speaker 1: anger or is it out of trying to discipline a case.
Speaker 2: It should never be out of anger, is the you
Speaker 2: know behind it. It should just be out of We
Speaker 2: learned very quickly with all of ours that it didn't
Speaker 2: it didn't really work. So I would say all of
Speaker 2: our kids probably were spanked at one point or like
Speaker 2: a little pop. I don't even know if it's a
Speaker 2: spank and it does. It's hard for me, like to
Speaker 2: hear you say we don't plan hitting our kids. I
Speaker 2: don't like hearing that. That gives me a negative, like
Speaker 2: I'm not hitting my kids, you know. But everyone feels
Speaker 2: differently about that, and I could, you know, whatever, it
Speaker 2: is a hit, sure, but it's just that's where the negative.
Speaker 1: But you know what I mean, like it it, that's
Speaker 1: what is thinking. We put a title on it, that
Speaker 1: makes it. I have no opinion either way, truthfully, but
Speaker 1: like we put a title on it's like if it's
Speaker 1: corrective hitting, it's still hitting.
Speaker 2: Sure, I mean, okay, yeah, right, But we did learn
Speaker 2: quickly all of ours had probably trying to think of
Speaker 2: Ramsied I don't know, but we learned quickly that it
Speaker 2: didn't necessarily like with Caden, it didn't.
Speaker 1: It didn't really work.
Speaker 2: So we just, you know, I was like, okay, this
Speaker 2: isn't something that worked, and we didn't, you know, do
Speaker 2: it anymore with him. You know, we did other things.
Speaker 2: But no, I'm not against it, but I don't like
Speaker 2: that clip.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's something off about the tone of that clip. Yeah.
Speaker 1: What rubs me is the which we will like that
Speaker 1: joyful life. It'll be hilarious when we do which, by
Speaker 1: the way, we will like kind of being like our
Speaker 1: It's like he was already going after the haters that
Speaker 1: we're going to hate on them about it like he was.
Speaker 1: It was almost like it was a proud like and
Speaker 1: which we will like, Oh, I'm sure that's what I
Speaker 1: think it was.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what rubs me because and again I associate
Speaker 4: it with something with my negative past of things, and
Speaker 4: I don't think you should ever.
Speaker 1: Be it joyful about hitting. That's where I'm at for sure.
Speaker 4: Even when I say like hitting, it's like hitting spanking, right, yeah, whatever,
Speaker 4: it's just a weird like there's something about the tone
Speaker 4: of that clip that is off, Yeah, very like, which
Speaker 4: we will like.
Speaker 1: That's just hilarious. This is a word I would never
Speaker 1: use either.
Speaker 2: And all that to say, like coming from the only
Speaker 2: one in the room that has done it before, I
Speaker 2: always said that we wouldn't, which is what's funny. And
Speaker 2: Nick never has. It's only been me that's ever done it,
Speaker 2: which is also very interesting interesting. Yeah, But for me,
Speaker 2: it was always in a I've tried this, the shouldn't work,
Speaker 2: don't do it out of anger, I've tried this, let's
Speaker 2: try this, And yes, it was different for every child.
Speaker 2: I think I can't even remember. I know I've spanked
Speaker 2: any probably, but I think that it.
Speaker 1: Did with Kayden.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'll never forget like giving him a little
Speaker 2: pop because he kicked me or something and that was
Speaker 2: maybe a little out of like a reaction more than
Speaker 2: like an anger or whatever. And he kind of looked
Speaker 2: at me and like hit me back, and I was like, okay, no,
Speaker 2: you know, like that was a cat in the street.
Speaker 2: And again to me, it was he was fighting me.
Speaker 2: I was like changing or changing him or something, and
Speaker 2: he was fighting me kicked me in the face and
Speaker 2: I was like no, and I kind of like popped
Speaker 2: his leg because he kicked me.
Speaker 1: And then he just you know, and.
Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, that that's not how I,
Speaker 2: you know, wanted to do it. Other instances were like, okay,
Speaker 2: I've tried this.
Speaker 4: If something comes out of our frustration where it's like
Speaker 4: my snaps like sto right right, Like that is like
Speaker 4: could easily have been a pop u a lag instead
Speaker 4: of like but that's me yelling my reason. My voice
Speaker 4: isn't really the answer either, right right, But it's a
Speaker 4: reaction to the frustration of the pop right right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I think we all have parents had done
Speaker 1: like I don't think I well, I don't like I'll
Speaker 1: never say never about anything, you know, like I just wouldn't.
Speaker 1: And as a parent, legend specific and I have learned
Speaker 1: like he has taught me more about myself and my
Speaker 1: own anger, just because the way we communicate, Like I
Speaker 1: would never have guessed he just so. I I don't
Speaker 1: think there's anything wrong with any of the way that
Speaker 1: anybody's child rearing or doing what they think they need
Speaker 1: to do. It's just such a strange happiness. Yeah about
Speaker 1: a brand baby and the potential Yeah, of I think
Speaker 1: you're doing that. I think it was more a I
Speaker 1: know I'm going to get haters.
Speaker 2: I'm going to go ahead and just throw the way
Speaker 2: he did it, yeah, because again, never say never. I'll
Speaker 2: tell him they said that, we're not going to and
Speaker 2: then I ended up doing it a couple of times,
Speaker 2: you know, and it's like, okay, so never to say never.
Speaker 2: And I'm admitting that I have, you know, which isn't
Speaker 2: easy because I'm going to get people coming after me.
Speaker 1: I did soap in the mouth of that I wanted
Speaker 1: to remind anybody.
Speaker 2: But yes, that rubbed me wrong. It's not something I'm
Speaker 2: sitting here being. I mean, it's not that I'm I'm
Speaker 2: not shameful of it. I'm I'm not sitting here like
Speaker 2: I did things I shouldn't do and I hurt my kids,
Speaker 2: Like I don't.
Speaker 1: Feel that way.
Speaker 2: But also it's not something I'm joyful about and like
Speaker 2: I loved doing that.
Speaker 1: That was good for me.
Speaker 4: No one they are, you know, believers as well as
Speaker 4: we are. They're looking into the Bible. But is a
Speaker 4: fascinating part of it. I'm curious you know your guys'
Speaker 4: standpoint on that, because I think there's I understand, well,
Speaker 4: I don't understand the book. I still question things in there.
Speaker 4: And I think, as my pastor says, that's because I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: I don't understand. He goes, well, that's that's where faith
Speaker 4: comes in. Like you should keep asking questions. And I
Speaker 4: think in this area that's where I would go. I
Speaker 4: don't think God wants us to take a rod and
Speaker 4: hit our kids.
Speaker 1: I think we need into that. I need to look
Speaker 1: into it. I'm like, I don't.
Speaker 4: I don't understand where there's scripture taking the scripture and
Speaker 4: going okay, well, because God said this, do this and
Speaker 4: it's like, but also it can be the rod your
Speaker 4: tone and your.
Speaker 1: And in that Bible, like I don't know that specific piece.
Speaker 2: I think we're educate too literal sometimes, yes, and I think.
Speaker 4: But they're the ones that are saying that though too
Speaker 4: with well, because the scripture.
Speaker 1: That's the thing.
Speaker 2: You can't take a scripture and people can feel a
Speaker 2: million different ways about what that scripture says, and that
Speaker 2: is clearly what they're taking. I'd have to read it
Speaker 2: before I take a stance, But I think in a
Speaker 2: lot of instances we take things a little bit too literal.
Speaker 2: And at the same time, yes, I think that discipline
Speaker 2: is very important, and I think that that, to me
Speaker 2: is more the point.
Speaker 1: Probably of what that scripture is saying.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and i'll and i'll you know, on goo on
Speaker 4: Madison's uh, you know side, where she's started to explain
Speaker 4: to her in a way of parenting where it's we
Speaker 4: don't want to be doing this, like whenever I say, Julie,
Speaker 4: like I don't want to discipline you right now and
Speaker 4: take this away, this is just you know, and that's
Speaker 4: you know, they're they're doing that along the spanking lines.
Speaker 4: But you know, I think she's there's that piece in it,
Speaker 4: which is which I think is good to tell that
Speaker 4: to their kids. So I'm not trying to come down
Speaker 4: on their their parenting in the slightest at all. I
Speaker 4: don't know them, and but it's just how his reaction
Speaker 4: just kind of rubbed me wrong, and that could be
Speaker 4: a piece of my past just coming in.
Speaker 2: And no, I think that rubbed Yeah. I mean, I
Speaker 2: think I'm.
Speaker 1: Going to do two things on our behalf. I'm going
Speaker 1: to listen to the rest of that podcast, yeah, because
Speaker 1: I'm so curious about how they got there. Yeah, how
Speaker 1: did we get here that we're laughing? I feel like
Speaker 1: we're missing something even if we take the tone of it.
Speaker 1: I imagine if somebody just took like our teeny tiny
Speaker 1: clip here, So maybe we miss something before we give
Speaker 1: them a little benefit of the doubt. And I'm going
Speaker 1: to dig into the ry here all of.
Speaker 4: It, because I think that they were just talking about
Speaker 4: parenting because I listened. I listened to it the whole podcast.
Speaker 4: I listened to like a good chunk of that twenty minutes,
Speaker 4: and it was them just going into it talking about
Speaker 4: that we're not parenting. The context is there, which is
Speaker 4: why that piece is the most important piece of it.
Speaker 1: Well, I try, and you tried to kick at Yeah,
Speaker 1: we all tried, guys.
Speaker 2: It just it came out of nowhere to me with
Speaker 2: the weird part of the beginning, with like disciplining them
Speaker 2: when they're maybe when they're doing good, really objective.
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, it just was weird. It was very
Speaker 1: odd to me, for sure. Guys. What a time to
Speaker 1: be alive. You guys good. It was a little oh yeah, no,
Speaker 1: that's fine. It always it again.
Speaker 2: I'm not like shameful about it, but like when there's
Speaker 2: things like that, and there's certain things that trigger me
Speaker 2: a little bit, like I again, but no, we're totally fine.
Speaker 1: It doesn't bother me.
Speaker 2: But that was, like we can I can disagree with
Speaker 2: anybody on stuff like that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just think like and I'm not. I also
Speaker 1: was spanked, But I just grew up in such a
Speaker 1: rageful household that like, my parents framed things to be
Speaker 1: this is my household, my growing up, not you as
Speaker 1: a parent. My parents framed things and created narratives to
Speaker 1: make everything that they were up to Okay.
Speaker 2: I can only remember being spanked like once, so I was, but.
Speaker 1: I did get spanked but I also don't think it was.
Speaker 1: I don't remember a time where I was like I
Speaker 1: was that was the thing. I did grow up with
Speaker 1: a lot of violence, though, it just wasn't against us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I just sometimes I'm this has been an interesting
Speaker 1: thing because recently I've been in a couple of like
Speaker 1: little tiny spats. Yeah, more just like I boil things
Speaker 1: down to just exactly what it is. Like there's this
Speaker 1: like clarity that I have where narratives don't affect it.
Speaker 1: Like I'm like, but that's what it is, and that's okay.
Speaker 1: I'd just not me like, but like speaking is hitting.
Speaker 1: It's not that you're beating your child. I'm not, it's
Speaker 1: not that. But like I think sometimes we as a
Speaker 1: society like maybe create things around things to make things
Speaker 1: okay that I don't know, like if we call it this,
Speaker 1: then it's not that. And if we did this, then
Speaker 1: it's not that, you know, but like that is what
Speaker 1: it is, and it's okay, it's not we sugarcoat it.
Speaker 1: You mean, Yeah, that's yeah for sure, you know. Yeah, right?
Speaker 1: Does that make am I making any sense?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 4: I'm a mom in my early forties and after being
Speaker 4: out of the workplace workforce for fifteen years to raise
Speaker 4: my kids. I was recently offered a job that feels
Speaker 4: like a dream come true. It's in a field i've
Speaker 4: always wanted to break into. The team seem supportive, and
Speaker 4: the work aligns with with both my interests and the
Speaker 4: kind of impact I want to make. The problem well,
Speaker 4: the salary is quite a bit lower than I was
Speaker 4: hoping for. Not impossible to manage, but definitely tighter than
Speaker 4: i'd like, especially as I try to rebuild financial independence
Speaker 4: At this stage of life, juggling family responsibilities, personal growth,
Speaker 4: and a real desire to feel fulfilled at work, I'm torn.
Speaker 4: Do I take the leap for a job that lights
Speaker 4: me up even if the pay isn't great, or should
Speaker 4: I hold out for something that better reflects my value
Speaker 4: even if it's not as exciting. I think that's a
Speaker 4: tough one because I think if it's something you really
Speaker 4: want to do, like I have taken things that are
Speaker 4: I took a movie this year that was well below
Speaker 4: my quote, but it was something I love being on set.
Speaker 4: I love making movies. I thought it was a really
Speaker 4: fun project, and I think it was one of those
Speaker 4: things where.
Speaker 1: You know you're rewarded.
Speaker 4: I think in the end, like this could be something
Speaker 4: that's great, something comes up that better reflects than awesome.
Speaker 4: I think you could always change. But I also understand
Speaker 4: there's a piece too where your expertise is value it
Speaker 4: should valued. So I'm torn with that because I do
Speaker 4: think you should get what you deserve. But if it's
Speaker 4: something you really want to get into, you've try and
Speaker 4: been trying to get into, my gut says, take the leap.
Speaker 2: I mean, I worked in the music business for like
Speaker 2: no money for a very long time. Yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 2: because I loved it, So I am all for that.
Speaker 2: I think it's easier said than done to do that
Speaker 2: as a woman than it is as a man. I
Speaker 2: will that sounds sexist, but I will stand by that
Speaker 2: as long as I'll live, because it is just different,
Speaker 2: you know, for a man who's going to have a
Speaker 2: family and supporting a family versus a woman who may
Speaker 2: you may you may not, But I'm all about doing
Speaker 2: what makes you happy if it's less money.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I also just wonder if it is so set
Speaker 1: in stone this salary, like is there a way to negotiate?
Speaker 1: I think sometimes we sure I can speak for myself
Speaker 1: take things as face value and I don't negotiate back. Well,
Speaker 1: so I'm like, oh, okay, that's just is what it is.
Speaker 1: Like I'd be afraid to ask for more. That's like
Speaker 1: a character flaw for me. I'd be afraid to Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's hard.
Speaker 4: So maybe it's like, hey, I will is there more?
Speaker 4: If not, Okay, I'll do this for this amount of time,
Speaker 4: but moving forward if I if I stay at this
Speaker 4: longer period, I'd like.
Speaker 2: I did that more pay I did that in the music,
Speaker 2: you know, I was like, hey, I'll you know, I'll
Speaker 2: do this because you know you're worth Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 2: Knowing that I'm working my way towards something, I think
Speaker 2: sometimes like you just got to know that and in
Speaker 2: the end is there going to be a reward and
Speaker 2: the end are you going to be able to work
Speaker 2: towards something where you're.
Speaker 4: The connections that you're meeting people. That's why I do
Speaker 4: certain things that aren't like all right, will this intro
Speaker 4: me to good other good peeps and producers and this
Speaker 4: and the other. You know, so, yeah, there's things that
Speaker 4: we're going to do potentially later this month where it's
Speaker 4: no money, just going out there and trying to shake
Speaker 4: some hands and it's like you gotta It's something that
Speaker 4: lights up and you gotta do it. You know. It's
Speaker 4: I think, I think, go for it and then the
Speaker 4: right thing will always come along no matter what, if.
Speaker 1: You're if you're open to it, Yeah, I agree, agreed.
Speaker 1: Well what an episode, guys? Is good? A little? I
Speaker 1: looked at the camera at one point and go, I
Speaker 1: really feel sad. Do you feel no good? Everything's good.
Speaker 1: We started a podcast just like it's great. On that note,
Speaker 1: we hope to all see you. Thanks, thanks for coming.