WEBVTT - MFM Minisode 499 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:19.840 Hello, and welcome to my favorite Murder the minisode. 0:00:19.960 --> 0:00:26.040 We read you your stories and what and have summertime fun. 0:00:26.200 --> 0:00:27.320 Yay, you go with it. 0:00:28.040 --> 0:00:31.200 That really got serious for a second. Okay, that's a 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:32.200 good way to kick this off. 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:34.800 Yeah. 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:37.640 Uh. The subject line of this email is the war pig. 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:40.120 I grew up on a farm. We just get right 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:41.280 into it. There's not even a hello. 0:00:41.440 --> 0:00:41.720 Good. 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:44.400 I grew up on a farm in rural North Georgia. 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:47.280 I think big pasture is broken up by dense forests 0:00:47.320 --> 0:00:48.239 of pine trees. 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:49.680 Well. 0:00:49.760 --> 0:00:52.480 During the summer and after school, most days, my eight 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:55.560 cousins and I would be kept by my sweet grandmother, who, 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:58.280 instead of having eight elementary school children in her house 0:00:58.280 --> 0:01:00.840 from two thirty to eight pm, would kick us out 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:03.800 to play outside. Now this was in the early two thousands, 0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:05.280 so she could have just plopped us in front of 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:08.080 the TV with some SpongeBob and a popsicle and called 0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:10.160 it a day. But were glad she didn't let us 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:12.640 rod our brains instead, Yeah, because she didn't wit in 0:01:12.640 --> 0:01:14.920 the house. Instead, we would go play outside in the 0:01:14.920 --> 0:01:17.440 woods and the cow pastures until the sun went down. 0:01:17.959 --> 0:01:20.600 And boy do I have stories about being chased by bulls, 0:01:20.600 --> 0:01:24.039 physically attacked by a black swan and falling into literal 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:28.080 quicksand of cowshit. Because she couldn't keep a close eye 0:01:28.080 --> 0:01:31.120 on us, she called in the help of the wear Pig. 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:34.080 The wear Pig was a werewolf like pig that lived 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:35.800 in the woods and would watch us to make sure 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:38.120 that we were being good, and if we were bad, 0:01:38.400 --> 0:01:40.240 would eat us just like he did. 0:01:40.440 --> 0:01:41.600 The neighbor kid. 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:49.680 A threat with an imaginary like beast crypto, Yeah, kryptoid 0:01:49.840 --> 0:01:52.680 that's killed before, that's killed children before. 0:01:53.360 --> 0:01:55.400 And then it says, this might sound bad, but what's 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:57.640 worse is all of our parents, my five uncles, and 0:01:57.720 --> 0:02:01.000 my dad adopted the wear Pig to do their the 0:02:01.040 --> 0:02:04.640 whole family. When we were in our early teens, one 0:02:04.640 --> 0:02:07.120 of my uncles actually dressed up like the wear Pig 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:08.320 and scared the shit out. 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:11.200 Of us while we were playing flashlight tag in the wood. 0:02:11.960 --> 0:02:14.120 Oh the bit. I would pay a lot for that video. 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:17.000 The screaming, the sharp. 0:02:18.560 --> 0:02:22.240 Screaming, then the crying, and then the oh come on, Yeah, 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:25.600 it was after thanks after Thanksgiving. Needless to say, we 0:02:25.600 --> 0:02:27.840 were all traumatized by the wear Pig and kept a 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:30.440 close eye on the woods years later, we were all 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:32.520 joking at a family dinner and found out that our 0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:35.640 grandmother and our parents had a family meeting to discuss 0:02:35.680 --> 0:02:37.840 what to do about our behavior when we were kids. 0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:41.359 Thus the wear Pig was born. That's how bad they were. 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:45.200 It's like a cult kind of here's the agreed lie 0:02:45.600 --> 0:02:46.440 tell the children. 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:49.880 I think the movie Hereditary is based on that. It's 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:52.400 a real, by any means necessary way of raising children. 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:53.280 It sounds like it works. 0:02:53.560 --> 0:02:56.200 I think so and says stay sexy and watch out 0:02:56.240 --> 0:03:00.880 for the wear Pig, Maddie. So it's a pig that's 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:03.280 watching you. Yeah, that's pretty creep. 0:03:03.120 --> 0:03:07.000 And kills children. Most importantly, eat some ride up kills children. 0:03:07.120 --> 0:03:11.560 Yeah, did you like your bacon lack yesterday morning at breakfast? Well, 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:14.160 now I'm here to eat you revenge. 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:17.760 Okay. 0:03:18.040 --> 0:03:23.359 Years later, my confession. It's cold, it's very funny. Um, 0:03:24.200 --> 0:03:26.960 and then I have to do this what sad dudes 0:03:27.000 --> 0:03:30.720 and dudets. First off, thank you both for everything you do. 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:33.760 You've been my comfort podcast since the summer of twenty sixteen, 0:03:33.880 --> 0:03:36.640 when I was fifteen. Wow. 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:37.960 Now for my confession. 0:03:38.160 --> 0:03:41.520 In twenty eighteen, when I was seventeen, my grandmother passed 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:44.120 away due to the long term effects of smoking. 0:03:44.600 --> 0:03:46.320 That detail becomes important later. 0:03:46.800 --> 0:03:50.160 Our entire family gathered at her retirement community to celebrate 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:52.840 her life. There were so many friends there, which honestly 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:56.119 surprised me because let's just say, Grandma wasn't exactly known 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:59.560 for her warm and fuzzy personality, not with kids at least. 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:02.840 After the celebration, the immediate family went back to her 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:06.080 apartment to pack up her belongings. While my mom was cleaning, 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:08.800 she suddenly held something up off the floor. 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:13.000 What's this My vape? 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:16.200 That shouldn't say it, but it's her vape, the same 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:19.440 vape I'd gotten caught with about a month earlier. Apparently 0:04:19.480 --> 0:04:22.760 I dropped it during one of my visits. Immediately my 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:26.600 brain went into survival mode. Without missing a beat, I gasped, 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:32.040 Grandma vaped. The room erupted no way, Seriously, I had 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:35.920 no idea. While everyone was busy processing this shocking revelation, 0:04:36.080 --> 0:04:39.520 I realized I had one chance to save myself. If 0:04:39.560 --> 0:04:42.400 Grandma owned a vape, she'd probably have a charge or two. 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:45.360 I casually walked over to my backpack, pulled out my 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:48.560 vape charger, slipped it into my pocket. Waited for everyone 0:04:48.600 --> 0:04:51.200 to get distracted again, and quietly tucked it into her 0:04:51.279 --> 0:04:52.280 nightstand drawer. 0:04:52.560 --> 0:04:55.560 Evil, like doubling down on evil, just being like, well, 0:04:55.600 --> 0:04:57.680 I have to, I really have to send them home. 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:00.679 Yeah. It was like someone's gonna say, as if anyone 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:02.800 who doesn't have a vape knows that you have to 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:05.440 charge it, it's your grandmother. 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:09.040 She Oh, yeah, she smoked. She likes sweet apple. 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:11.640 No, No, like she smoked cigarette and she wasn't particularly 0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:12.560 warm and fuzzy. 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:15.400 Yeah, that's true, but vaping is like a step beyond. 0:05:15.560 --> 0:05:18.280 She's not a fucking kid on the corner with a 0:05:18.400 --> 0:05:19.599 very small BMX bike. 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:23.600 No, tucked in her night's said drawer. Mission accomplished. A 0:05:23.640 --> 0:05:25.520 few hours later, my dad up in the drawer. Guys, 0:05:25.560 --> 0:05:29.640 I found the charger, hooked line sinker. She's seventeen, okay, 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:31.200 which is like what you're supposed to do when're seventeen. 0:05:31.240 --> 0:05:31.839 No, that's fine. 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:35.600 My mom found the rest of the weekend telling everyone 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.960 that apparently Grandma had secretly switched from cigarettes to vaping. 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:39.640 Gossip. 0:05:40.160 --> 0:05:42.719 Meanwhile, I stood there nodding along like I was hearing 0:05:42.760 --> 0:05:45.000 this groundbreaking information for the first time. 0:05:45.120 --> 0:05:48.240 What a little shit does a little shit. Can you 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:50.800 believe it? But I love it. 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:53.840 Unfortunately, my parents threw both the vape and charger into 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:58.160 the apartment dumpster, which meant I had to recover the evidence. 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:00.960 This could have ended here. 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:04.520 Yes, that night, I put on my best gloves, fashioned 0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:06.880 a trash bag into what can only be described as 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:10.400 a dumpster diving poncho, and climbed into the dumpster to 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:14.000 rescue my vape. I still have it. It's been sitting 0:06:14.040 --> 0:06:16.359 on my nightstand for the past seven years as a 0:06:16.400 --> 0:06:20.279 trophy commemorating the greatest cover up of my teenage years. 0:06:20.440 --> 0:06:23.240 So it went down like people just believed that. 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:26.320 And that's I'm twenty five now, and as far as 0:06:26.320 --> 0:06:28.279 I know, no one has ever figured it out. 0:06:28.680 --> 0:06:32.360 Hi's see. But I mean then it's almost worse. 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:35.480 It's like she has to play this for them. Yeah, oh, 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:37.320 it's ze. Sorry, he has to play this for them? 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:40.480 I mean, hell, but so good, It's so good. Every 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:42.400 now and then, when my family is all together, I'll 0:06:42.440 --> 0:06:47.880 casually say, remember when we found out Grandma vapes? Everyone nods, 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:51.600 I smile, and absolutely no one suspects a thing. I'd 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:54.240 like to think my grandmother would have appreciated the commitment 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:57.839 to the bit she had a mischievous streak herself. Stay 0:06:57.880 --> 0:07:01.919 sexy and don't or do frame your dad grandmother, Zeth. 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:05.440 He I love that story so good. 0:07:05.680 --> 0:07:09.720 I also love the idea that maybe he's suggesting that 0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:10.960 his grandma would. 0:07:10.760 --> 0:07:13.040 Have bought into the like Oh, it's fine town, whatever 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:15.640 you want, Yeah, yeah, oh yep, that's my babe, that's 0:07:15.680 --> 0:07:18.160 my vape. No one else did it, and my chargers 0:07:18.160 --> 0:07:19.600 in the door, Zeth. 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:22.200 You have to play this for your family, like at Christmas. 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:25.800 Gather everyone around, everyone around. We'll edit out all the 0:07:25.840 --> 0:07:28.880 focs in this and such so you can do it 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:34.560 at a holiday. Okay, here's my next one. 0:07:35.240 --> 0:07:38.160 The subject line is I dated a con artist and 0:07:38.200 --> 0:07:40.480 it says hello, beautiful people. I was recently talking to 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:42.800 a couple of friends and a story I had repressed 0:07:42.800 --> 0:07:44.840 for a while came up, and I thought, what better 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:46.760 way to deal with this than to write into a 0:07:46.840 --> 0:07:50.480 murder podcast. When I was about nineteen, i'd recently come 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:53.160 out of a serious relationship and was pretty naive in 0:07:53.200 --> 0:07:56.080 the way the world worked. And that's when I met Brad. 0:07:56.440 --> 0:07:59.160 He was a very charismatic person, well dressed, full of 0:07:59.200 --> 0:08:02.600 great stories, Hubris, and he was the king of flattery. 0:08:03.240 --> 0:08:05.760 He was also a doctor working at a hospital nearby 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:08.679 as a surgeon, and we'd often meet after his work, 0:08:08.760 --> 0:08:12.320 with him still wearing his medical scrubs. Overall, I really 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:15.160 liked the guy. You can get scrubs at CVS. Everybody 0:08:15.640 --> 0:08:18.040 looking back through a couple warning signs that didn't add up, 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:20.200 like him living in a tiny house with a roommate 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:22.640 he constantly complained about even though he was on a 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:25.520 surgeon's salary and should easily be able to move out, 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:28.080 Or that he changed his luxury car every couple of 0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:31.600 weeks without ever worrying about parking fines. I found out 0:08:31.600 --> 0:08:34.360 a few months into the relationship why this was when 0:08:34.360 --> 0:08:36.800 I was awoken at his place one Saturday morning with 0:08:36.920 --> 0:08:38.120 very loud knocks at the door. 0:08:38.360 --> 0:08:39.440 It was a police raid. 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:42.800 I had absolutely no idea what was happening when they 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:47.400 took brad away and handcuffs, along with laptops, electronics and documents. 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:49.600 As much as I begged the police, they wouldn't tell 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:52.840 me anything for privacy reasons. After putting all my detective 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:56.000 hat and doing some digging, I realized he wasn't a surgeon. 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:58.920 He wasn't even working at the hospital. The man I'd 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:01.520 been dating for months was a con man. His mo 0:09:01.800 --> 0:09:05.120 was to meet people selling their cars online, dressed as 0:09:05.160 --> 0:09:05.680 a surgeon. 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:07.160 Give them a ship. 0:09:07.640 --> 0:09:11.400 Sorry, it's so good when there's costumes, it's like, yeah, 0:09:11.559 --> 0:09:13.679 sell it, you gotta sell it. Yeah, anything to make 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:17.120 trick people into trusting him. Yeah, give them a check 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:20.200 or false proof of payment transfer, and then take their car. 0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:23.440 He would then sell or swap his the latest vehicle 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:27.360 and continue on his way. His charisma would allow him 0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:30.200 to trick others into handing him large amounts of cash 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:33.520 that they would never see again. He was eventually let 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:36.160 out on bail and fled across the country, where he 0:09:36.200 --> 0:09:38.880 did similar things to many others before being caught and 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:41.480 sent to prison for a few years. I wanted to 0:09:41.480 --> 0:09:43.439 just let everyone listening know that this kind of thing 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:45.920 can happen to anyone, and then it doesn't make you 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:48.720 stupid or worth less than anyone else. These people are 0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:50.720 good at what they do, and we can just be 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:52.840 more aware and put our stories out there in the 0:09:52.880 --> 0:09:55.320 hope that it can help others. Thank you for all 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:58.600 you do and keeping me sane during trying times, stay 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:00.559 sexy and be wary of surgeons. 0:10:00.840 --> 0:10:05.200 Callum, be weary of overly flattering people. Like as much 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:06.760 as I wish Fince would tell me how great I 0:10:06.800 --> 0:10:08.680 look every time I dress up, which I have to 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:10.679 remind him to do. If you did it, I wouldn't 0:10:10.679 --> 0:10:12.760 believe him, right, Like, what's wrong? Why are you doing that? 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:14.760 You're like, stop it? What did you do? Yes? 0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:18.760 The flattery, And I think the kind of like it's 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:21.000 one thing to show up in scrubs because you're just 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:23.480 like a surgeon that's working your ass off. But then 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:26.560 it's like the cars, it's like the levels. I feel 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:28.319 like a lot of time scammers don't know when to 0:10:28.360 --> 0:10:30.520 stop rite. They don't keep it real. 0:10:30.760 --> 0:10:33.000 Yeah, like surgeons let us know, like do you wear 0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:34.560 your scrubs like on your way home? 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:36.760 Do you love to just meet people at a wine 0:10:36.800 --> 0:10:39.440 bar in scrubs just to see if people will love it? 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:41.760 It's kind of gross, like the amount of like a 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:43.720 biohazard issue old blood. 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:45.320 Yeah, pussy. 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:48.640 If you're a if you're a medical student or a surgeon, 0:10:48.840 --> 0:10:52.560 and you can tell us about bloody scrub stories, Yeah. 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:54.560 Tell us your best scrub story, tell us. 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:56.400 Your I told you I know, I've told you this 0:10:56.480 --> 0:10:59.160 is like a twenty sixteen pat story. Yeah, driving to 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:01.640 work in her way heights, car accident in front of 0:11:01.640 --> 0:11:03.720 her on the one on one. Yes, she goes and 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:06.120 leans on the thing, and so she gets blood on 0:11:06.160 --> 0:11:07.720 the front because she's talking to the guy who has 0:11:07.720 --> 0:11:08.680 a glass in his forehead. 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:08.959 Huh. 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:10.960 And then she turns to walk back to her car 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:13.800 with blood on her whites and then a friend of 0:11:13.840 --> 0:11:15.960 ours from Pedalumho drives by and thinks it's my mom 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:20.160 wondering on the side of the broad Just. 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.880 A total shit show. So that's the story. Karings gave 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:23.679 you a great example. 0:11:23.840 --> 0:11:26.079 If you can't beat that, then stay home. 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:30.120 Okay, last episode we had a bunch of good scammer 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:32.880 stories and there were so many leftover that I these 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:33.600 are We. 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:35.280 Just love that so much. We're so good. 0:11:35.320 --> 0:11:38.520 Please send in yours, especially I am enjoying the take 0:11:38.559 --> 0:11:40.440 home part of this happened to me. 0:11:40.480 --> 0:11:42.600 Don't let it happen to you that and also I 0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:45.040 was the scammer. Those are great, especially if you were 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:46.640 like seven years old. Totally exactly. 0:11:46.840 --> 0:11:50.440 So, okay, this is called scammer fangirl summer. And this 0:11:50.520 --> 0:11:52.160 sounds like it would have happened to me when I 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:53.679 was nineteen, so I love it. 0:11:53.920 --> 0:11:55.320 Hello, Wonderful Ladies and crew. 0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:58.240 I listened to the Anna delve episode and heard you 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:01.360 asking for more scammer stories, so I figured i'd share mine. 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:04.200 Back in twenty fourteen, a young adult me was a 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:06.400 huge fan of a pop rock boy band that was 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:07.760 starting to get pretty. 0:12:07.440 --> 0:12:09.720 Big and then no name. 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:13.160 We have to know, don't be ashamed of loving who 0:12:13.160 --> 0:12:13.520 could have it? 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:16.199 On twenty fourteen, I wasn't. I don't fucking know a 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:18.719 boy band in twenty fourteen, it's got to be a 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:19.640 K pop band? 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:24.080 Oh maybe yeah? Were there any I don't know? I 0:12:24.120 --> 0:12:28.199 mean just continuing to love one direction through chill twenty fourteen. 0:12:27.880 --> 0:12:28.360 Could be ye. 0:12:29.080 --> 0:12:31.079 None of my friends were into them, so I often 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:34.040 went to concerts alone and made friends there, which I love. 0:12:34.160 --> 0:12:36.960 How I know one girl, let's call her Abby, and 0:12:37.000 --> 0:12:40.160 I quickly became close. Abby suggested we follow the band's 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:43.920 twenty fifteen summer tour through Vegas, San Diego, and La. 0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:46.480 The deal was that she'd pay for the flights and 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:49.559 I'd cover the hotels. The catch she lived in the 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:51.600 middle of nowhere, so I had to take a five 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:54.520 hour bus ride to her hometown and fly out with her. 0:12:54.679 --> 0:12:57.760 No already sketch incorrect. The first half of the trip 0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:00.360 was great. The second half is when I started noticing 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:04.320 Abby's scammer tendencies. She claimed she had lost her only 0:13:04.360 --> 0:13:07.040 debit cards, so I supposedly needed to cover all our 0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:10.320 food and gas expenses. That story fell apart when I 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:13.680 caught her using the card to buy a drink. She 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:16.960 also showed her crazy side by getting obscenely drunk at 0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:19.520 one of the concerts and started hysterically sobbing that the 0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:22.920 drummer might be dating a model. Then, on the last 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:25.000 day of the trip, she informed me that she couldn't 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:27.640 drive me home from the tiny airport we'd fly back into. 0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:30.840 There were no buses available for two days back to 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:33.319 my home city, so she was stuck in the small 0:13:33.360 --> 0:13:37.160 town with Abby. Still Fuck yeah, young inexperienced broke from 0:13:37.200 --> 0:13:39.600 the trip and panicking, I called my dad from our 0:13:39.640 --> 0:13:42.920 Detroit layover. He booked me a separate flight home from there. 0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:45.640 The problem was that my checked luggage would continue to 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:49.320 Abby's airport. Abby happily offered to pick up my bag 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:52.199 and ship it to me. The vibes were terrible, but 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:55.400 I didn't have another option when you just want to 0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:56.400 be home from a trip. 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:58.480 But also, can't the option be that you just have 0:13:58.559 --> 0:14:00.680 the airline do it for you and just like no 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:01.400 one else has. 0:14:01.280 --> 0:14:01.760 To touch it? 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:04.839 I think not when you're a kid, you know, can't 0:14:04.880 --> 0:14:07.720 we go back and fix this luggage issue. 0:14:07.400 --> 0:14:08.480 Once we got out? Gets worse. 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:10.719 Once we got home, Abby claimed my luggage had been 0:14:10.800 --> 0:14:13.880 lost and even gave me a baggage claim number. When 0:14:13.920 --> 0:14:18.199 I checked with it exactly when I checked with the airline, 0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:22.560 the claim didn't exist. Airport security and the police got involved, 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:25.880 which is so surprising, And sure enough, surveillance footage showed 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:29.000 Abby taking my suitcase. She doubled down and claimed she 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:31.720 thought it was my bag, then said it turned out 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:33.440 not to be and brought it back. 0:14:33.560 --> 0:14:34.000 She did not. 0:14:34.520 --> 0:14:36.840 Airport security zoomed in on the footage, and my name 0:14:36.880 --> 0:14:39.120 tag was clearly visible the entire time. 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:42.960 It's the airport's yeah, right, You're not sneaking in and 0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:44.680 sneaking out and doing your own thing. No. 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:47.280 The police told Abby that if she returned everything to 0:14:47.320 --> 0:14:50.280 the airport, no charges would be filed. About a week later, 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:53.040 I finally got my luggage back, minus a bag I'd 0:14:53.040 --> 0:14:55.120 bought in LA. At that point, I was willing to 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.320 eat the hundred dollars loss just to be done with her. 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:01.080 Then Abby blocked me and all my friends on social media. 0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:01.840 That's how you do it. 0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:05.440 When I started warning other fans online, my dms filled 0:15:05.520 --> 0:15:08.880 up with stories from girls she'd scammed. Once said Abby 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:11.600 took her for over one thousand dollars for concert tickets 0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:14.520 that never existed. The worst was a girl who had 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:17.520 originally planned to go with us on the tour. She 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:20.520 gave Abby seven hundred dollars for the trip, then backed out. 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:23.960 Abby kept the money that seven hundred dollars it paid 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:26.640 for both of our flights. Imagine my guilt when I 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:29.600 realized I spent the entire trip on that poor girl's dime. 0:15:30.160 --> 0:15:33.000 Fast forward to twenty twenty two, I discovered Abby had 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:36.040 become a fangirl of another boy band. She was now 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:40.800 selling counterfeit merch. Still going scammer strong Wow. Anyway, stay 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:43.640 sexy and don't go on trips with crazy de lulu fangirls, 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.440 especially the ones who genuinely believe they're going to date 0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:47.000 the drummer. 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:51.520 Anonymous it's so embarrassing to think because when you're drunk, 0:15:52.240 --> 0:15:54.600 that stuff comes out when you start crying, and you're 0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:56.400 just like, have you ever done that? You're so shift 0:15:56.440 --> 0:15:58.040 as you come to and you're like, what am I 0:15:58.080 --> 0:15:58.640 crying about? 0:15:58.760 --> 0:16:01.280 Right now? This is really weird? Yeah, And it's like 0:16:01.640 --> 0:16:04.160 because the drummer drummer right now where I met is 0:16:04.240 --> 0:16:05.000 dating a model. 0:16:09.120 --> 0:16:13.200 All right, see, uh this is this is kind of random. 0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:16.080 But I just really loved it. Okay, I won't read 0:16:16.120 --> 0:16:16.880 to the subject line. 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:20.720 It says, hello, picture it nineteen eighty seven, downtown Salem, Oregon. 0:16:21.160 --> 0:16:23.800 The drive through Divorce is open and the sweet chemical 0:16:23.840 --> 0:16:25.520 smell of Salon perms is. 0:16:25.480 --> 0:16:26.000 In the air. 0:16:26.760 --> 0:16:29.280 I am one year old, writing in my stroller for 0:16:29.320 --> 0:16:32.080 another day of errands with my mom and preteen sisters. 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:35.880 We enter Nordstrums. Are we here to braws? Cool clothes 0:16:35.880 --> 0:16:39.280 at the brass Plum? No, the brass Plum. I spent 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:41.760 so much time there. No. We turn to the children's 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:44.600 shoes section across the aisle. Before you know it, I'm 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:47.080 on my feet with a collection of toddlers and a 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:48.160 path has been cleared. 0:16:48.760 --> 0:16:49.560 A bell rings. 0:16:50.040 --> 0:16:52.360 My family is cheering me on and I run as 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:55.280 fast as my little chubby legs will go. What could 0:16:55.320 --> 0:17:02.920 possibly be happening right now? A baby race at the mall? Yes, racially, yeah. 0:17:02.320 --> 0:17:04.920 I would fucking I would put money down on that one. 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:07.120 And then it says one that I most definitely did 0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:10.119 not sign up for. That's right, there's no consent. No, 0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:13.720 as luck would have it, I won. I left those 0:17:13.720 --> 0:17:16.399 other babies in my wake, and was awarded a bright 0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:19.760 white pair of Wii box Ah. And then it says 0:17:19.800 --> 0:17:22.800 you read that correctly. This concludes my one and only 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:26.600 athletic achievement to date. In subsequent years, I found my 0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:29.919 true calling coloring contests. I didn't have an allowance, so 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:34.639 I entered them all winning cookies, gift certificates, one hamster, Wow, 0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:39.600 and my first real bike. Stay Sexy and collect prizes, Leslie, 0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:40.359 I know I love it. 0:17:40.600 --> 0:17:41.040 PS. 0:17:41.280 --> 0:17:43.520 One day I will find an email my second grade 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:48.160 essay response to what's your favorite movie? Mine was The Fugitive. 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:50.800 I watched it with my parents. I was eight. 0:17:50.960 --> 0:17:54.440 But Karen's right, it is a perfect movie. Okay, I'll 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:58.760 watch it. Please send us your contest winning stories. As 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:01.720 a child, as her mom like obsessed with sending in 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:03.520 the you know, there's like I love those people who 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:06.000 just win contests, because that's all they fucking do with 0:18:06.040 --> 0:18:08.960 their free time, is like enter contests. 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:12.399 Or like did you win your school Yeah, regional spelling bee, and. 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:17.639 You're like, mall modeling contest. Anything. We want to know. 0:18:17.880 --> 0:18:19.720 Love those I want to hear them. Okay, one more. 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:24.240 Okay, this is basically a trash child story. I was 0:18:24.280 --> 0:18:28.840 a child extortionist. Hey team, So I was about eight 0:18:28.920 --> 0:18:31.320 years old. My aunt was having a house party, and 0:18:31.440 --> 0:18:34.200 none of the attendees, including my mother, bothered to get 0:18:34.200 --> 0:18:36.760 a babysitter. Of course not, there's so many adults there. 0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:39.240 I pay for a fucking another adult to be there. 0:18:39.320 --> 0:18:41.800 Sorry, in the eighties, nineties, the nineties. 0:18:41.800 --> 0:18:44.640 So in classic nineties fashion, they sent me and three 0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:47.920 other children, including my little cousin, to the playroom, declaring 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:50.440