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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to my favorite Murder the minisode.

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Speaker 2: We read you your stories and what and have summertime fun.

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Speaker 1: Yay, you go with it.

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Speaker 2: That really got serious for a second. Okay, that's a

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Speaker 2: good way to kick this off.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Uh. The subject line of this email is the war pig.

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Speaker 2: I grew up on a farm. We just get right

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Speaker 2: into it. There's not even a hello.

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Speaker 1: Good.

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Speaker 2: I grew up on a farm in rural North Georgia.

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Speaker 2: I think big pasture is broken up by dense forests

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Speaker 2: of pine trees.

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Speaker 1: Well.

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Speaker 2: During the summer and after school, most days, my eight

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Speaker 2: cousins and I would be kept by my sweet grandmother, who,

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Speaker 2: instead of having eight elementary school children in her house

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Speaker 2: from two thirty to eight pm, would kick us out

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Speaker 2: to play outside. Now this was in the early two thousands,

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Speaker 2: so she could have just plopped us in front of

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Speaker 2: the TV with some SpongeBob and a popsicle and called

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Speaker 2: it a day. But were glad she didn't let us

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Speaker 2: rod our brains instead, Yeah, because she didn't wit in

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Speaker 2: the house. Instead, we would go play outside in the

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Speaker 2: woods and the cow pastures until the sun went down.

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Speaker 2: And boy do I have stories about being chased by bulls,

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Speaker 2: physically attacked by a black swan and falling into literal

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Speaker 2: quicksand of cowshit. Because she couldn't keep a close eye

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Speaker 2: on us, she called in the help of the wear Pig.

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Speaker 2: The wear Pig was a werewolf like pig that lived

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Speaker 2: in the woods and would watch us to make sure

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Speaker 2: that we were being good, and if we were bad,

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Speaker 2: would eat us just like he did.

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Speaker 1: The neighbor kid.

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Speaker 3: A threat with an imaginary like beast crypto, Yeah, kryptoid

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Speaker 3: that's killed before, that's killed children before.

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Speaker 2: And then it says, this might sound bad, but what's

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Speaker 2: worse is all of our parents, my five uncles, and

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Speaker 2: my dad adopted the wear Pig to do their the

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Speaker 2: whole family. When we were in our early teens, one

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Speaker 2: of my uncles actually dressed up like the wear Pig

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Speaker 2: and scared the shit out.

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Speaker 1: Of us while we were playing flashlight tag in the wood.

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Speaker 1: Oh the bit. I would pay a lot for that video.

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Speaker 1: The screaming, the sharp.

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Speaker 2: Screaming, then the crying, and then the oh come on, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was after thanks after Thanksgiving. Needless to say, we

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Speaker 2: were all traumatized by the wear Pig and kept a

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Speaker 2: close eye on the woods years later, we were all

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Speaker 2: joking at a family dinner and found out that our

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Speaker 2: grandmother and our parents had a family meeting to discuss

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Speaker 2: what to do about our behavior when we were kids.

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Speaker 1: Thus the wear Pig was born. That's how bad they were.

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Speaker 2: It's like a cult kind of here's the agreed lie

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Speaker 2: tell the children.

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Speaker 1: I think the movie Hereditary is based on that. It's

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Speaker 1: a real, by any means necessary way of raising children.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like it works.

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Speaker 2: I think so and says stay sexy and watch out

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Speaker 2: for the wear Pig, Maddie. So it's a pig that's

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Speaker 2: watching you. Yeah, that's pretty creep.

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Speaker 3: And kills children. Most importantly, eat some ride up kills children.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, did you like your bacon lack yesterday morning at breakfast? Well,

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Speaker 2: now I'm here to eat you revenge.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: Years later, my confession. It's cold, it's very funny. Um,

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Speaker 3: and then I have to do this what sad dudes

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Speaker 3: and dudets. First off, thank you both for everything you do.

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Speaker 3: You've been my comfort podcast since the summer of twenty sixteen,

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Speaker 3: when I was fifteen. Wow.

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Speaker 1: Now for my confession.

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Speaker 3: In twenty eighteen, when I was seventeen, my grandmother passed

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Speaker 3: away due to the long term effects of smoking.

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Speaker 1: That detail becomes important later.

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Speaker 3: Our entire family gathered at her retirement community to celebrate

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Speaker 3: her life. There were so many friends there, which honestly

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Speaker 3: surprised me because let's just say, Grandma wasn't exactly known

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Speaker 3: for her warm and fuzzy personality, not with kids at least.

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Speaker 3: After the celebration, the immediate family went back to her

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Speaker 3: apartment to pack up her belongings. While my mom was cleaning,

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Speaker 3: she suddenly held something up off the floor.

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Speaker 1: What's this My vape?

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Speaker 3: That shouldn't say it, but it's her vape, the same

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Speaker 3: vape I'd gotten caught with about a month earlier. Apparently

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Speaker 3: I dropped it during one of my visits. Immediately my

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Speaker 3: brain went into survival mode. Without missing a beat, I gasped,

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Speaker 3: Grandma vaped. The room erupted no way, Seriously, I had

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Speaker 3: no idea. While everyone was busy processing this shocking revelation,

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Speaker 3: I realized I had one chance to save myself. If

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Speaker 3: Grandma owned a vape, she'd probably have a charge or two.

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Speaker 3: I casually walked over to my backpack, pulled out my

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Speaker 3: vape charger, slipped it into my pocket. Waited for everyone

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Speaker 3: to get distracted again, and quietly tucked it into her

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Speaker 3: nightstand drawer.

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Speaker 1: Evil, like doubling down on evil, just being like, well,

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Speaker 1: I have to, I really have to send them home.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. It was like someone's gonna say, as if anyone

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Speaker 3: who doesn't have a vape knows that you have to

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Speaker 3: charge it, it's your grandmother.

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Speaker 1: She Oh, yeah, she smoked. She likes sweet apple.

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Speaker 3: No, No, like she smoked cigarette and she wasn't particularly

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Speaker 3: warm and fuzzy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true, but vaping is like a step beyond.

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Speaker 2: She's not a fucking kid on the corner with a

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Speaker 2: very small BMX bike.

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Speaker 3: No, tucked in her night's said drawer. Mission accomplished. A

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Speaker 3: few hours later, my dad up in the drawer. Guys,

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Speaker 3: I found the charger, hooked line sinker. She's seventeen, okay,

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Speaker 3: which is like what you're supposed to do when're seventeen.

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Speaker 1: No, that's fine.

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Speaker 3: My mom found the rest of the weekend telling everyone

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Speaker 3: that apparently Grandma had secretly switched from cigarettes to vaping.

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Speaker 1: Gossip.

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Speaker 3: Meanwhile, I stood there nodding along like I was hearing

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Speaker 3: this groundbreaking information for the first time.

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Speaker 1: What a little shit does a little shit. Can you

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Speaker 1: believe it? But I love it.

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Speaker 3: Unfortunately, my parents threw both the vape and charger into

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Speaker 3: the apartment dumpster, which meant I had to recover the evidence.

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Speaker 1: This could have ended here.

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Speaker 3: Yes, that night, I put on my best gloves, fashioned

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Speaker 3: a trash bag into what can only be described as

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Speaker 3: a dumpster diving poncho, and climbed into the dumpster to

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Speaker 3: rescue my vape. I still have it. It's been sitting

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Speaker 3: on my nightstand for the past seven years as a

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Speaker 3: trophy commemorating the greatest cover up of my teenage years.

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Speaker 1: So it went down like people just believed that.

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Speaker 3: And that's I'm twenty five now, and as far as

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Speaker 3: I know, no one has ever figured it out.

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Speaker 1: Hi's see. But I mean then it's almost worse.

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Speaker 3: It's like she has to play this for them. Yeah, oh,

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Speaker 3: it's ze. Sorry, he has to play this for them?

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Speaker 3: I mean, hell, but so good, It's so good. Every

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Speaker 3: now and then, when my family is all together, I'll

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Speaker 3: casually say, remember when we found out Grandma vapes? Everyone nods,

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Speaker 3: I smile, and absolutely no one suspects a thing. I'd

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Speaker 3: like to think my grandmother would have appreciated the commitment

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Speaker 3: to the bit she had a mischievous streak herself. Stay

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Speaker 3: sexy and don't or do frame your dad grandmother, Zeth.

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Speaker 1: He I love that story so good.

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Speaker 2: I also love the idea that maybe he's suggesting that

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Speaker 2: his grandma would.

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Speaker 1: Have bought into the like Oh, it's fine town, whatever

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Speaker 1: you want, Yeah, yeah, oh yep, that's my babe, that's

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Speaker 1: my vape. No one else did it, and my chargers

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Speaker 1: in the door, Zeth.

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Speaker 3: You have to play this for your family, like at Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Gather everyone around, everyone around. We'll edit out all the

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Speaker 3: focs in this and such so you can do it

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Speaker 3: at a holiday. Okay, here's my next one.

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Speaker 2: The subject line is I dated a con artist and

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Speaker 2: it says hello, beautiful people. I was recently talking to

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Speaker 2: a couple of friends and a story I had repressed

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Speaker 2: for a while came up, and I thought, what better

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Speaker 2: way to deal with this than to write into a

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Speaker 2: murder podcast. When I was about nineteen, i'd recently come

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Speaker 2: out of a serious relationship and was pretty naive in

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Speaker 2: the way the world worked. And that's when I met Brad.

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Speaker 2: He was a very charismatic person, well dressed, full of

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Speaker 2: great stories, Hubris, and he was the king of flattery.

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Speaker 2: He was also a doctor working at a hospital nearby

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Speaker 2: as a surgeon, and we'd often meet after his work,

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Speaker 2: with him still wearing his medical scrubs. Overall, I really

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Speaker 2: liked the guy. You can get scrubs at CVS. Everybody

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Speaker 2: looking back through a couple warning signs that didn't add up,

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Speaker 2: like him living in a tiny house with a roommate

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Speaker 2: he constantly complained about even though he was on a

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Speaker 2: surgeon's salary and should easily be able to move out,

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Speaker 2: Or that he changed his luxury car every couple of

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Speaker 2: weeks without ever worrying about parking fines. I found out

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Speaker 2: a few months into the relationship why this was when

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Speaker 2: I was awoken at his place one Saturday morning with

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Speaker 2: very loud knocks at the door.

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Speaker 1: It was a police raid.

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Speaker 2: I had absolutely no idea what was happening when they

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Speaker 2: took brad away and handcuffs, along with laptops, electronics and documents.

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Speaker 2: As much as I begged the police, they wouldn't tell

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Speaker 2: me anything for privacy reasons. After putting all my detective

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Speaker 2: hat and doing some digging, I realized he wasn't a surgeon.

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Speaker 2: He wasn't even working at the hospital. The man I'd

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Speaker 2: been dating for months was a con man. His mo

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Speaker 2: was to meet people selling their cars online, dressed as

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Speaker 2: a surgeon.

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Speaker 1: Give them a ship.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, it's so good when there's costumes, it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: sell it, you gotta sell it. Yeah, anything to make

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Speaker 2: trick people into trusting him. Yeah, give them a check

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Speaker 2: or false proof of payment transfer, and then take their car.

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Speaker 2: He would then sell or swap his the latest vehicle

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Speaker 2: and continue on his way. His charisma would allow him

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Speaker 2: to trick others into handing him large amounts of cash

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Speaker 2: that they would never see again. He was eventually let

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Speaker 2: out on bail and fled across the country, where he

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Speaker 2: did similar things to many others before being caught and

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Speaker 2: sent to prison for a few years. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: just let everyone listening know that this kind of thing

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Speaker 2: can happen to anyone, and then it doesn't make you

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Speaker 2: stupid or worth less than anyone else. These people are

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Speaker 2: good at what they do, and we can just be

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Speaker 2: more aware and put our stories out there in the

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Speaker 2: hope that it can help others. Thank you for all

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Speaker 2: you do and keeping me sane during trying times, stay

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Speaker 2: sexy and be wary of surgeons.

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Speaker 3: Callum, be weary of overly flattering people. Like as much

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Speaker 3: as I wish Fince would tell me how great I

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Speaker 3: look every time I dress up, which I have to

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Speaker 3: remind him to do. If you did it, I wouldn't

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Speaker 3: believe him, right, Like, what's wrong? Why are you doing that?

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Speaker 1: You're like, stop it? What did you do? Yes?

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Speaker 2: The flattery, And I think the kind of like it's

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Speaker 2: one thing to show up in scrubs because you're just

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Speaker 2: like a surgeon that's working your ass off. But then

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Speaker 2: it's like the cars, it's like the levels. I feel

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Speaker 2: like a lot of time scammers don't know when to

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Speaker 2: stop rite. They don't keep it real.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, like surgeons let us know, like do you wear

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Speaker 3: your scrubs like on your way home?

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Speaker 2: Do you love to just meet people at a wine

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Speaker 2: bar in scrubs just to see if people will love it?

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Speaker 3: It's kind of gross, like the amount of like a

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Speaker 3: biohazard issue old blood.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, pussy.

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Speaker 2: If you're a if you're a medical student or a surgeon,

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Speaker 2: and you can tell us about bloody scrub stories, Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Tell us your best scrub story, tell us.

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Speaker 2: Your I told you I know, I've told you this

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Speaker 2: is like a twenty sixteen pat story. Yeah, driving to

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Speaker 2: work in her way heights, car accident in front of

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Speaker 2: her on the one on one. Yes, she goes and

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Speaker 2: leans on the thing, and so she gets blood on

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Speaker 2: the front because she's talking to the guy who has

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Speaker 2: a glass in his forehead.

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Speaker 1: Huh.

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Speaker 2: And then she turns to walk back to her car

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Speaker 2: with blood on her whites and then a friend of

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Speaker 2: ours from Pedalumho drives by and thinks it's my mom

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Speaker 2: wondering on the side of the broad Just.

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Speaker 3: A total shit show. So that's the story. Karings gave

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Speaker 3: you a great example.

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Speaker 1: If you can't beat that, then stay home.

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Speaker 3: Okay, last episode we had a bunch of good scammer

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Speaker 3: stories and there were so many leftover that I these

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Speaker 3: are We.

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Speaker 1: Just love that so much. We're so good.

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Speaker 2: Please send in yours, especially I am enjoying the take

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Speaker 2: home part of this happened to me.

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Speaker 1: Don't let it happen to you that and also I

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Speaker 1: was the scammer. Those are great, especially if you were

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Speaker 1: like seven years old. Totally exactly.

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Speaker 3: So, okay, this is called scammer fangirl summer. And this

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Speaker 3: sounds like it would have happened to me when I

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Speaker 3: was nineteen, so I love it.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Wonderful Ladies and crew.

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Speaker 3: I listened to the Anna delve episode and heard you

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Speaker 3: asking for more scammer stories, so I figured i'd share mine.

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Speaker 3: Back in twenty fourteen, a young adult me was a

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Speaker 3: huge fan of a pop rock boy band that was

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Speaker 3: starting to get pretty.

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Speaker 1: Big and then no name.

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Speaker 2: We have to know, don't be ashamed of loving who

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Speaker 2: could have it?

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Speaker 1: On twenty fourteen, I wasn't. I don't fucking know a

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Speaker 1: boy band in twenty fourteen, it's got to be a

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Speaker 1: K pop band?

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Speaker 2: Oh maybe yeah? Were there any I don't know? I

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Speaker 2: mean just continuing to love one direction through chill twenty fourteen.

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Speaker 1: Could be ye.

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Speaker 3: None of my friends were into them, so I often

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Speaker 3: went to concerts alone and made friends there, which I love.

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Speaker 3: How I know one girl, let's call her Abby, and

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Speaker 3: I quickly became close. Abby suggested we follow the band's

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Speaker 3: twenty fifteen summer tour through Vegas, San Diego, and La.

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Speaker 3: The deal was that she'd pay for the flights and

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Speaker 3: I'd cover the hotels. The catch she lived in the

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Speaker 3: middle of nowhere, so I had to take a five

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Speaker 3: hour bus ride to her hometown and fly out with her.

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Speaker 3: No already sketch incorrect. The first half of the trip

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Speaker 3: was great. The second half is when I started noticing

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Speaker 3: Abby's scammer tendencies. She claimed she had lost her only

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Speaker 3: debit cards, so I supposedly needed to cover all our

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Speaker 3: food and gas expenses. That story fell apart when I

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Speaker 3: caught her using the card to buy a drink. She

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Speaker 3: also showed her crazy side by getting obscenely drunk at

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Speaker 3: one of the concerts and started hysterically sobbing that the

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Speaker 3: drummer might be dating a model. Then, on the last

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Speaker 3: day of the trip, she informed me that she couldn't

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Speaker 3: drive me home from the tiny airport we'd fly back into.

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Speaker 3: There were no buses available for two days back to

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Speaker 3: my home city, so she was stuck in the small

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Speaker 3: town with Abby. Still Fuck yeah, young inexperienced broke from

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Speaker 3: the trip and panicking, I called my dad from our

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Speaker 3: Detroit layover. He booked me a separate flight home from there.

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Speaker 3: The problem was that my checked luggage would continue to

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Speaker 3: Abby's airport. Abby happily offered to pick up my bag

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Speaker 3: and ship it to me. The vibes were terrible, but

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Speaker 3: I didn't have another option when you just want to

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Speaker 3: be home from a trip.

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Speaker 2: But also, can't the option be that you just have

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Speaker 2: the airline do it for you and just like no

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Speaker 2: one else has.

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Speaker 1: To touch it?

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00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,839
Speaker 3: I think not when you're a kid, you know, can't

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00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:07,720
Speaker 3: we go back and fix this luggage issue.

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Speaker 1: Once we got out? Gets worse.

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Speaker 3: Once we got home, Abby claimed my luggage had been

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Speaker 3: lost and even gave me a baggage claim number. When

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Speaker 3: I checked with it exactly when I checked with the airline,

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00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:22,560
Speaker 3: the claim didn't exist. Airport security and the police got involved,

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Speaker 3: which is so surprising, And sure enough, surveillance footage showed

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Speaker 3: Abby taking my suitcase. She doubled down and claimed she

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Speaker 3: thought it was my bag, then said it turned out

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Speaker 3: not to be and brought it back.

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Speaker 1: She did not.

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Speaker 3: Airport security zoomed in on the footage, and my name

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Speaker 3: tag was clearly visible the entire time.

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Speaker 2: It's the airport's yeah, right, You're not sneaking in and

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Speaker 2: sneaking out and doing your own thing. No.

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Speaker 3: The police told Abby that if she returned everything to

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Speaker 3: the airport, no charges would be filed. About a week later,

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00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:53,040
Speaker 3: I finally got my luggage back, minus a bag I'd

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Speaker 3: bought in LA. At that point, I was willing to

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Speaker 3: eat the hundred dollars loss just to be done with her.

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Speaker 3: Then Abby blocked me and all my friends on social media.

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Speaker 1: That's how you do it.

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Speaker 3: When I started warning other fans online, my dms filled

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Speaker 3: up with stories from girls she'd scammed. Once said Abby

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00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,600
Speaker 3: took her for over one thousand dollars for concert tickets

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Speaker 3: that never existed. The worst was a girl who had

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Speaker 3: originally planned to go with us on the tour. She

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00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,520
Speaker 3: gave Abby seven hundred dollars for the trip, then backed out.

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Speaker 3: Abby kept the money that seven hundred dollars it paid

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Speaker 3: for both of our flights. Imagine my guilt when I

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Speaker 3: realized I spent the entire trip on that poor girl's dime.

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Speaker 3: Fast forward to twenty twenty two, I discovered Abby had

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Speaker 3: become a fangirl of another boy band. She was now

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00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:40,800
Speaker 3: selling counterfeit merch. Still going scammer strong Wow. Anyway, stay

337
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,640
Speaker 3: sexy and don't go on trips with crazy de lulu fangirls,

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Speaker 3: especially the ones who genuinely believe they're going to date

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Speaker 3: the drummer.

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00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,520
Speaker 2: Anonymous it's so embarrassing to think because when you're drunk,

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00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,600
Speaker 2: that stuff comes out when you start crying, and you're

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Speaker 2: just like, have you ever done that? You're so shift

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00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,040
Speaker 2: as you come to and you're like, what am I

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Speaker 2: crying about?

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Speaker 1: Right now? This is really weird? Yeah, And it's like

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Speaker 1: because the drummer drummer right now where I met is

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Speaker 1: dating a model.

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Speaker 2: All right, see, uh this is this is kind of random.

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Speaker 1: But I just really loved it. Okay, I won't read

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Speaker 1: to the subject line.

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Speaker 2: It says, hello, picture it nineteen eighty seven, downtown Salem, Oregon.

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00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:23,800
Speaker 2: The drive through Divorce is open and the sweet chemical

353
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,520
Speaker 2: smell of Salon perms is.

354
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Speaker 1: In the air.

355
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,280
Speaker 2: I am one year old, writing in my stroller for

356
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Speaker 2: another day of errands with my mom and preteen sisters.

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00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:35,880
Speaker 2: We enter Nordstrums. Are we here to braws? Cool clothes

358
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:39,280
Speaker 2: at the brass Plum? No, the brass Plum. I spent

359
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,760
Speaker 2: so much time there. No. We turn to the children's

360
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,600
Speaker 2: shoes section across the aisle. Before you know it, I'm

361
00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,080
Speaker 2: on my feet with a collection of toddlers and a

362
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:48,160
Speaker 2: path has been cleared.

363
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:49,560
Speaker 1: A bell rings.

364
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,360
Speaker 2: My family is cheering me on and I run as

365
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,280
Speaker 2: fast as my little chubby legs will go. What could

366
00:16:55,320 --> 00:17:02,920
Speaker 2: possibly be happening right now? A baby race at the mall? Yes, racially, yeah.

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Speaker 1: I would fucking I would put money down on that one.

368
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,120
Speaker 2: And then it says one that I most definitely did

369
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,119
Speaker 2: not sign up for. That's right, there's no consent. No,

370
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,720
Speaker 2: as luck would have it, I won. I left those

371
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,399
Speaker 2: other babies in my wake, and was awarded a bright

372
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,760
Speaker 2: white pair of Wii box Ah. And then it says

373
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,800
Speaker 2: you read that correctly. This concludes my one and only

374
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,600
Speaker 2: athletic achievement to date. In subsequent years, I found my

375
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,919
Speaker 2: true calling coloring contests. I didn't have an allowance, so

376
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:34,639
Speaker 2: I entered them all winning cookies, gift certificates, one hamster, Wow,

377
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:39,600
Speaker 2: and my first real bike. Stay Sexy and collect prizes, Leslie,

378
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:40,359
Speaker 2: I know I love it.

379
00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:41,040
Speaker 1: PS.

380
00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,520
Speaker 2: One day I will find an email my second grade

381
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:48,160
Speaker 2: essay response to what's your favorite movie? Mine was The Fugitive.

382
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,800
Speaker 2: I watched it with my parents. I was eight.

383
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,440
Speaker 3: But Karen's right, it is a perfect movie. Okay, I'll

384
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:58,760
Speaker 3: watch it. Please send us your contest winning stories. As

385
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,720
Speaker 3: a child, as her mom like obsessed with sending in

386
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,520
Speaker 3: the you know, there's like I love those people who

387
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 3: just win contests, because that's all they fucking do with

388
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,960
Speaker 3: their free time, is like enter contests.

389
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:12,399
Speaker 2: Or like did you win your school Yeah, regional spelling bee, and.

390
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:17,639
Speaker 1: You're like, mall modeling contest. Anything. We want to know.

391
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:19,720
Speaker 1: Love those I want to hear them. Okay, one more.

392
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,240
Speaker 3: Okay, this is basically a trash child story. I was

393
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 3: a child extortionist. Hey team, So I was about eight

394
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,320
Speaker 3: years old. My aunt was having a house party, and

395
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,200
Speaker 3: none of the attendees, including my mother, bothered to get

396
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,760
Speaker 3: a babysitter. Of course not, there's so many adults there.

397
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,240
Speaker 3: I pay for a fucking another adult to be there.

398
00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,800
Speaker 1: Sorry, in the eighties, nineties, the nineties.

399
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,640
Speaker 3: So in classic nineties fashion, they sent me and three

400
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,920
Speaker 3: other children, including my little cousin, to the playroom, declaring

401
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,440
Speaker 3: that I was the oldest and therefore in charge.

402
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:51,520
Speaker 1: She's eight.

403
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was the high Queen of benevolent Ruler and

404
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,200
Speaker 3: they were all welcome for being in my cool, big

405
00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:00,800
Speaker 3: kid presence. I led multiple expedition to spy on the

406
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,359
Speaker 3: adults before we were chased back into the playroom, and

407
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,680
Speaker 3: finally we were told that if we didn't stay upstairs,

408
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,400
Speaker 3: we'd have to go to bed early. That was their

409
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:12,440
Speaker 3: ultimate mistake. They let us stay awake. Also, what were

410
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,880
Speaker 3: they doing down there? Fucking have an adult adult time?

411
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:21,120
Speaker 3: Shit man, whatever it is smoking indoors, bitch. And yeah,

412
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 3: there were two bathrooms, one that was only accessible by

413
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,320
Speaker 3: walking through my aunt and uncle's bedroom and one at

414
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 3: the top of the stairs. My six year old cousin

415
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,000
Speaker 3: and I worked out that only family would use the

416
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:34,119
Speaker 3: downstairs bathroom, and therefore they were unlikely to see what

417
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 3: we were doing in front of the other. We locked

418
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,280
Speaker 3: arms and formed a child blockade at the top of

419
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:43,280
Speaker 3: the stairs, then waited until all the drunk adults at

420
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,639
Speaker 3: the party started stumbling up the stairs to try to

421
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 3: use the bathroom. They were basically met with the tiniest

422
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,320
Speaker 3: mob bosses this side of upstate New York. At first,

423
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:55,280
Speaker 3: we accepted quarters for bathroom entry, but then one of

424
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,479
Speaker 3: the adults negotiated four bathroom trips for a whole dollar.

425
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,679
Speaker 3: So I'm drunk, fucking dudes, like listen, I don't want

426
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 3: it to keep giving you guys quarters.

427
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:04,560
Speaker 1: I'm by myself the night.

428
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 3: Yeah, work got around, but not to our parents and

429
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,879
Speaker 3: a very sweaty twenty something climbed the stairs slowly holding

430
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,880
Speaker 3: out of twenty dollars for full access all night.

431
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,320
Speaker 1: We were in business. Yeah.

432
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,640
Speaker 3: The party went late and the other two kids went

433
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 3: home with their parents, so it was just my little

434
00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:22,240
Speaker 3: cousin and I.

435
00:20:22,040 --> 00:20:23,640
Speaker 1: Half asleep at the top of the stairs.

436
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,840
Speaker 3: When our parents found out how we had been spending

437
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,040
Speaker 3: the evening, my aunt had her friend, who had worked

438
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,480
Speaker 3: out the fore trip deal with us, demand that we

439
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:32,640
Speaker 3: give his dollar back.

440
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:34,679
Speaker 1: Fuck that shit, no bear, its weird.

441
00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 3: We did, but I guess no one else snitched because

442
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:38,560
Speaker 3: we walked.

443
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:43,560
Speaker 1: Away with twenty forty five dollars that night. Jesus.

444
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,679
Speaker 3: We had told some of the folks we scammed that

445
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 3: we were donating the money to an animal shelter, and

446
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,160
Speaker 3: after a couple of days of secret candy, we felt

447
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 3: guilty enough that we put the rest, about twenty five

448
00:20:55,800 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 3: dollars in the jar at our downtown aspca h love

449
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,679
Speaker 3: everything you do. Stay sexy and don't just leave your

450
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,919
Speaker 3: kids to be supervised by an eight year old at

451
00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:07,800
Speaker 3: a house party, or do and watch them become the

452
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:09,320
Speaker 3: mob kate with a.

453
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:12,959
Speaker 2: Sea The amount of times we got locked into another

454
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,800
Speaker 2: room and then started to play a game that was

455
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,160
Speaker 2: like basically like climbed the shelves or whatever, like a dangerous,

456
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,560
Speaker 2: insane game that when the adults would be.

457
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:24,639
Speaker 3: What the hell's going on, you left them alone like

458
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,600
Speaker 3: that's the other like this isn't on the kids.

459
00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:29,480
Speaker 2: Yes, we had at the Anton Giovanni's. There was one

460
00:21:29,480 --> 00:21:32,359
Speaker 2: time where we they ran along the tops of the

461
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:37,119
Speaker 2: of the couches this amazing huge leather sectional and it

462
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,399
Speaker 2: was like all the kids running to go faster.

463
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:42,680
Speaker 1: You're gonna fall, Oh my god. It was the most funny.

464
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 1: Of course, cracked skull, yes right there.

465
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,120
Speaker 2: It's like coffee tables everywhere and ship you can fall

466
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:49,720
Speaker 2: down on and.

467
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:51,679
Speaker 1: Just like and we're all running as food. So you

468
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:53,920
Speaker 1: think you could win today, Yeah, you could win.

469
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,679
Speaker 2: You have to really keep your your knees up because

470
00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,640
Speaker 2: the cushion part is different than.

471
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,720
Speaker 3: The like righte and just keep going and just keep

472
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 3: and look up, don't look down, keep up and just

473
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,720
Speaker 3: stay positive. Yeah, and that's what we want you to do.

474
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: Ban call it. Tell us the insane games.

475
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:14,160
Speaker 3: You played as a kid, and keep stay pot, keep

476
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 3: your knees up, and stay positive and stay sex and

477
00:22:16,440 --> 00:22:20,879
Speaker 3: don't get murdered Geybye, Elvis, Do you want a cookie?

478
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,400
Speaker 4: This has been an exactly right production.

479
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,280
Speaker 3: Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer

480
00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 3: is Tessa Hughes.

481
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 4: Our editor is Aristotle Ascevedo.

482
00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,360
Speaker 1: This episode was mixed by Leona Squalacci.

483
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,119
Speaker 4: Our researchers are Mayor McGlashan and Ali Elkin.

484
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,120
Speaker 1: Email your hometowns to My Favorite Murder at gmail.

485
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 2: Dot com and follow the show on Instagram at my

486
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 2: Favorite Murder.

487
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,720
Speaker 3: Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple

488
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 3: Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

489
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 4: And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix.

490
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 1: And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and

491
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 1: the remind Me buttons. That's the best way you can

492
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 1: support our show. Good Bye,