1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: The holidays are here and we're counting down to Christmas. 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:06,960 Speaker 1: We want to help you take care of your shopping 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:11,440 Speaker 1: list with five thousand dollars. How about that five thousand dollars. 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,400 Speaker 1: We want to say thanks to our friends at Discovery Plus, 5 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 1: because we've got your chance to win. Like I said, 6 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: five thousand dollars. Enter today and get official rules at 7 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:26,680 Speaker 1: Steve HARVEYFM dot com. Introducing Discovery Plus, the only streaming 8 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:30,600 Speaker 1: service with the greatest real life entertainment and exclusive originals 9 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 1: all in one place. Stream what you love on Discovery Plus. 10 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:40,600 Speaker 1: To enter and get ruled, visit Steve HARVEYFM dot com. Okay, 11 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:47,480 Speaker 1: that's nicely, yeah, thousand dollars. All right, It is time 12 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 1: now for my Strawberry Letter. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 13 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 14 00:00:56,160 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 15 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,800 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're 16 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: gonna read this one right here, right now. Buggle up, 17 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: hold on tight, We got it for you here. It 18 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 1: is just straw Barriletto. Subject is he hunting deer or 19 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:15,919 Speaker 1: something else? Dear Stephen Shirley. I married my high school 20 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:19,560 Speaker 1: sweetheart and we have one child together. We had joined 21 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: the Coastguard. He had joined the Coastguard, and I chose 22 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,919 Speaker 1: to put aside my career planned in order to follow 23 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 1: him around wherever he is stationed, because I was very 24 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 1: much in love with this man. We are now in 25 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,720 Speaker 1: a very small town, and I find myself lost and lonely. 26 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,760 Speaker 1: On his days off, he goes hunting with his buddies 27 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,600 Speaker 1: and he just hangs around his buddies all the time 28 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 1: while I take care of our one year old son. 29 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 1: Every day, every time I ask him to spend time 30 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:49,240 Speaker 1: with me and our son, he always suggests that one 31 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 1: of his buddies comes with us. I cooked our first 32 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: turkey for Thanksgiving this year, and he insisted that we 33 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 1: spend Thanksgiving at his buddies house instead. I feel like 34 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: he has neglected me, and I have complained to him 35 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: about it, but nothing's changed. I am full of resentment 36 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 1: now because I can't help but think I should have 37 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,720 Speaker 1: continued with my college classes and never married him. But 38 00:02:12,840 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 1: I'm in this situation, so I have to make the 39 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 1: most of it for my son. When I address all 40 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,960 Speaker 1: of his concern all of my concerns with him. He 41 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: comes off very selfish and our arguments have been really 42 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 1: stressing me out. If it wasn't for the fact that 43 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 1: he does really love hanging with his buddies, I think 44 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,720 Speaker 1: he was hunting something besides. Dear. If he's cheating on me, 45 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: then I will have to reconsider everything. At this point, 46 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: I have no life and no friends in this area 47 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,640 Speaker 1: that where we live. What is up with my husband? 48 00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 1: Please advise? Wow, you're very much in love with him, 49 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 1: he said. At first, I think you're concentrating on the 50 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:57,320 Speaker 1: wrong person here. I think you're concentrating way too much 51 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 1: on him and not enough on you. I mean, you 52 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 1: cannot change this man. Surely he showed some of these signs. 53 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:09,000 Speaker 1: You know, when you guys were dating and you gave 54 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,239 Speaker 1: up everything to be with him. You stopped college everything, 55 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,840 Speaker 1: you know. That's one thing that and I'll say this 56 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: woman should never, you know, stop being who they are 57 00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:21,799 Speaker 1: for a man. You should never stop doing that. If 58 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,440 Speaker 1: you want to change, you're gonna have to be the 59 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 1: one to do the changing. So far, all I see 60 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: is you going along with everything he says and done. 61 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 1: You cooked a turkey for your family, he insisted, that 62 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: you go over to his buddy's house for Thanksgiving. Something's 63 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: going on here. Either. He doesn't like you, he doesn't 64 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: enjoy you anymore. He's not into family, and you're you 65 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: don't like any of this either, I mean, but you do. 66 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: You go along with it. You go along with whatever 67 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:53,560 Speaker 1: he asks. You even gave up your career. Like I said, Meanwhile, 68 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 1: he doesn't have to do anything to make you happy. 69 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: I mean, you haven't said that he's done anything for 70 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: you in this letter. You're deserable, and like you say, 71 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:04,680 Speaker 1: you're full of resentment. Now. I think it's gonna stay 72 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 1: that way unless you start changing some things about yourself. 73 00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: The only person you can change. We say this all 74 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: the time is yourself. By the way, please stop being 75 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:17,560 Speaker 1: so agreeable. You got to learn to maybe negotiate, you know, 76 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,279 Speaker 1: to get what you want. And if that doesn't work, 77 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,560 Speaker 1: then it doesn't sound like this as a man for you, 78 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: and you and the baby probably need to move on. Okay, Steve, Okay, 79 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:38,600 Speaker 1: See here's because I'm from the country, I have such 80 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:46,279 Speaker 1: an interesting knowledge about hunting. I don't like hunting myself. 81 00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:51,120 Speaker 1: I've had to do it many times when I was younger. 82 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,920 Speaker 1: But when I was able to make the choice. I 83 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 1: didn't like hunting. It's just not for me. But I'm 84 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,440 Speaker 1: gonna tell you something about hunting. But we canna get 85 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,159 Speaker 1: that into a second. Now, you married your high school sweetheart. 86 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,279 Speaker 1: He joined the coast Guard. You dropped everything because you 87 00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: loved this man, and you followed him. You gave up everything, 88 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:14,560 Speaker 1: so no matter where he went was stationed, you went. 89 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:18,479 Speaker 1: On his days off, he goes hunting with his buddies, 90 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: and he just hangs around his buddies all the time. 91 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:23,160 Speaker 1: And I take care of one year old son every day. 92 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:25,720 Speaker 1: And then when you're ask him to spend time with 93 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: you and the boy, he suggests that one of his 94 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:32,599 Speaker 1: buddies come with us. You got a couple problems here 95 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:38,040 Speaker 1: them damn deal and his buddies, because he would one 96 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 1: of them all the time. Now that's a little odd 97 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:45,280 Speaker 1: right there. I cooked out first turkey for Thanksgiving this year. 98 00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:50,200 Speaker 1: He assisted you spend Thanksgiving that your buddy's house. Now, ma'am, 99 00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna you know, judge you're cooking. I don't 100 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 1: know how you are what this year first turkey, I 101 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 1: don't know if he didn't had your other food and 102 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 1: decide at it. You know he wasn't gonna do the 103 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: turkey at the house too. But I'm well, this ain't 104 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 1: about your cooking. How dare you? It ain't about your cooking. 105 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 1: It's probably not up. But I understand the woman's hurting, 106 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: and you should be. And because you complain and he's 107 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 1: neglected you and nothing's changed, and now you are full 108 00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:25,599 Speaker 1: of resentment and you should be because you can't help 109 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,039 Speaker 1: but think you shouldn't have gave up everything and followed 110 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 1: this man. But you know you ain't love. That's what 111 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,920 Speaker 1: people do all the time. There is a way to 112 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,840 Speaker 1: correct this, But I'm gonna give you some information when 113 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 1: we come back about hunting that might be able to help. 114 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: All right, Steve, we'll have part two of your response 115 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: coming up at twenty three minutes after the hour. Is 116 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: he hunting deer or something else? As the subject? We'll 117 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:54,640 Speaker 1: get back into it right after this. You're listening to show, 118 00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:58,120 Speaker 1: all right, Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter. 119 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: The subject is he hunting deer or something else? Did 120 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 1: we ever find out where this letter was written from? Yeah? Alaska? Alaska? Yes, Alaska? 121 00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:14,240 Speaker 1: Well hold on, that changes everything. Hold on so to 122 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: do so. So now that could be Alaska. It's Alaska. 123 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: All the towns is small in Alaska. And this changes 124 00:07:25,880 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: the game, because see, I was gonna give you some information. 125 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 1: You very much in love with him. On his days off, 126 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 1: he goes hunting with his buddies, and it just hang 127 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,760 Speaker 1: around him all the time. And y'all got a one 128 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 1: year old son. Every time you have to spend time 129 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: with y'all, he suggests that one of his buddies come along. 130 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:47,120 Speaker 1: Then this year, you cook your first turkey. First turkey 131 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: probably I don't know if you bought that turkey or 132 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:55,000 Speaker 1: he went out and got it. Look hunting from the first, 133 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:58,400 Speaker 1: but you cook your first turkey now, and he assisted 134 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,960 Speaker 1: that y'all go over his buddy house to eat. Now, 135 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:04,480 Speaker 1: let's not talk about the cooking now. You know, maybe 136 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: he don't want to try the turkey because he's I 137 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:11,920 Speaker 1: had your chicken, and a turkey way bigger than a chicken. 138 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 1: So if you can't cook a little as chicken, he 139 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:17,000 Speaker 1: probably don't see nowhere in hell he's gonna be able 140 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 1: to enjoy this damn turkey. But that's neither here, nothing, no. 141 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,840 Speaker 1: Thank you gave up your life to follow this man, 142 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 1: and now you regret it, and you're starting to feel resentment. 143 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:32,400 Speaker 1: And you should because you could have continued with your 144 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: college classes and never married him. But you in this situation, 145 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 1: it's hard to find somebody new in Alaska. It's just hard. 146 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:44,120 Speaker 1: You ain't gonna talk. I don't know where you're gonna 147 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:47,960 Speaker 1: find nobody new in Alaska. That's some cold brothers up 148 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 1: there hunting. Well, I'm gonna tell you about hunting now. 149 00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 1: For you to say that a man is hunting every weekend, 150 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 1: if he was down in the lower fifty States, I 151 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:03,320 Speaker 1: would understand, because hunting is seasons. If you the biggest 152 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: prize people hunt for down here is like dear elk, 153 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: those are the big prizes down here. But those hunting 154 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 1: seasons are very short. It's not all the time. You 155 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:17,319 Speaker 1: can't just hunt for deal any time up in here. 156 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,600 Speaker 1: You got to wait on the first frosty hidden stuff. 157 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,719 Speaker 1: You eat a damn deal the summertime, your ass might 158 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,800 Speaker 1: not make it. So you know you it's a hunting 159 00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: season because it's very short. Now you change a game 160 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:31,600 Speaker 1: when you say the man live in Alaska, because damn 161 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:34,440 Speaker 1: it's cold up there all the time. They I don't 162 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: know what hunting sea. I don't elk moose, you know, deal, dear, 163 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 1: you know caribole. I don't know what y'all doing, y'all 164 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:51,559 Speaker 1: y'all love there well hunting. You know y'all down there 165 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:57,040 Speaker 1: hunting out eating beaver meat. It's too much, you know, 166 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,360 Speaker 1: you're down there fighting them grizzlies here come to them 167 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:03,599 Speaker 1: salmon taking another run. So I don't know here in 168 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,640 Speaker 1: a last here hunting damn the every day. I'm My 169 00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:11,080 Speaker 1: question is is he bringing anything home to eat? That's 170 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,240 Speaker 1: a good way to know if he actually hunting? His 171 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,640 Speaker 1: blood on his knife? Is his blood on his clothes? 172 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:22,880 Speaker 1: Do he stink? Do he smell like dear musk? You 173 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,839 Speaker 1: know you can't go off a woman house and you 174 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:28,720 Speaker 1: don't squirted dear musk on your ass. She's not gonna 175 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,560 Speaker 1: let you stand. I don't know if y'all ever smell 176 00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:33,640 Speaker 1: dear musk to sent the deal like you spread on 177 00:10:33,679 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 1: your clothes in case you get caught up wind of 178 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,160 Speaker 1: the deal and when it blow that way to smell 179 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:44,480 Speaker 1: like mo deal instead of human because of deer's nose 180 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,480 Speaker 1: is very sensitive smell if you up wind and you'll 181 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: sit go down there the deal run. So you got 182 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,360 Speaker 1: to spray dear sin on you and I don't know 183 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,000 Speaker 1: if you know how DEAs smell. But then funking little 184 00:10:55,040 --> 00:11:02,720 Speaker 1: something stough. Oh this ain't Rudolph. Now no, no, hey, 185 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 1: can I can I drive this late the night? Sente? No, 186 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: they'll kill your aunt. So let's get to the problem. 187 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:16,160 Speaker 1: The problem is you're not happy. You've approached him and 188 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 1: talked to him about it, and then he talks to 189 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: you and it's starting to stress you out. He comes 190 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 1: off very selfish, and then our arguments have been really 191 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 1: stretching out. If it wasn't for the fact that he 192 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:31,280 Speaker 1: does really love hanging with his buddies, I think he 193 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: was hunting something besides deal. He could just be hunting 194 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:40,920 Speaker 1: with his buddies. He could just be. But if you're unhappy, 195 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,960 Speaker 1: then you're unhappy. I don't know that it's a woman, 196 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 1: but he with his buddies, you're unhappy. I don't you know. 197 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 1: I don't know how you fix this with a person 198 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 1: that's selfish, and then you're trying to stay with it. 199 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:58,480 Speaker 1: Calls of your son. Your son is only one. You 200 00:11:58,559 --> 00:12:01,040 Speaker 1: got a lot of years. You got to stay with this. 201 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: If you're staying with it just for your son. Where 202 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:07,280 Speaker 1: your mama Neil stay is everybody you know from Alaska. 203 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 1: You need to get a ticket. You come down here 204 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:15,840 Speaker 1: to Florida, Atlanta, get your ass some suns. Stop all 205 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 1: this money. We got grocery stones down here. If you're 206 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 1: growing in public CROs, get your sash. So the eat. 207 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: You know, Turkey a cooking, all that game you ask food, 208 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:30,840 Speaker 1: That's what's wrong. He don't like cooking. It's hard to cook. Elk, 209 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:35,000 Speaker 1: you gotta know what you're doing. Everything he brings laying 210 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 1: on the hood of the car. Ain't gonna hit gutting out. No, no, 211 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,480 Speaker 1: damn dinner to day. All right, we gotta go come 212 00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 1: up at forty six minutes after be our sports start 213 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:47,640 Speaker 1: with Junior. Right now you open the elk, you're listening 214 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:49,760 Speaker 1: show