WEBVTT - How to Mix Money & Marriage with Egypt Sherrod and Mike Jackson 0:00:00.320 --> 0:00:02.840 Nothing about them kids. I want to hear about marriage. 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:06.000 I know it won't be like this forever, but how 0:00:06.040 --> 0:00:08.640 did you find time to reconnect and how do you 0:00:08.680 --> 0:00:09.840 prioritize yourselves. 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:11.840 We're in a space now to where we know the 0:00:11.880 --> 0:00:15.880 importance of not just being partners in business, not just 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:19.319 being business owners, but understanding that if we don't work, 0:00:19.360 --> 0:00:20.479 nothing else is going to work. 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:23.160 The same way we schedule. To prioritize everything else, you 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:26.680 have to prioritize your relationship as well. Often, especially if 0:00:26.720 --> 0:00:28.920 you've been together as long as we have twenty one years, 0:00:29.160 --> 0:00:31.040 you have to reneet one another. 0:00:36.159 --> 0:00:40.000 Hey, hey va fam, welcome back to Brown Ambition. I 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:43.200 could not be more excited about today's episode. We have 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:47.839 Real Estate Royalty soon to be Podcasts Royalty in the 0:00:47.960 --> 0:00:53.680 house with us, say welcome, welcome to Married to real 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:58.120 Estate themselves. We have Egypt Sharad and Mike Jackson from 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:01.920 Married to Real Estate HGTVS own either Different Mike have 0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:06.160 been together for twenty one years Oh my days. Uh 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:08.840 and they are top on top of being the stars 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:11.880 of HGTV's top rated show Married to Real Estate, which 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:15.080 drew over nineteen million No big deal, nineteen million. Real 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:17.720 viewers in its third debut season. Now they have their 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:23.320 fourth season. Congratulations, Like Listen, one season is all people 0:01:23.360 --> 0:01:26.559 can usually hope for. And it feels like, especially people 0:01:26.600 --> 0:01:29.400 who look like us, getting a season on a prominent network, 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:32.200 like they'll be looking for reasons to cancel anything. I 0:01:32.240 --> 0:01:34.800 feel like this days. You're also crown the winners of 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:39.600 season three of HGTV's flagship competition design show Rock the Block. 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:43.800 And you have a successful, brand new podcast which is 0:01:43.840 --> 0:01:46.040 a little bit different. But haven't been married for twenty 0:01:46.120 --> 0:01:47.960 one years. I know you'll have gems on Gems on 0:01:48.000 --> 0:01:50.600 Gems to offer so Ba fam You got to check 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:55.080 out their podcast Marriage and Money. As parents have three daughters, 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:58.559 this couple is at the forefront of authentic messaging about 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:03.200 generational wealth and life planning. In other words, you're King 0:02:03.200 --> 0:02:04.720 and Queen Brown and mission welcome. 0:02:08.639 --> 0:02:10.919 All right, I'm Queen. 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:15.119 It's the I agree. Those braids are everything. 0:02:15.600 --> 0:02:18.960 You know, so many grades were loop for me a 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:21.720 couple of months ago. I had never, all of my 0:02:21.840 --> 0:02:25.919 forty something years, been able to sit still for braid 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:29.520 because you know how long they take. But honestly, I 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:35.400 don't see all this, But but I'm like in this 0:02:35.720 --> 0:02:37.520 phase of my life where it's got to just be 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:40.800 easy and care free. So I can sit my tail 0:02:40.919 --> 0:02:44.520 still for a good seven hours. She can put these 0:02:44.520 --> 0:02:47.160 in and honestly, these are staying like two three months. 0:02:47.520 --> 0:02:48.120 I love it. 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:50.359 I love it too, and I'm getting a lot of 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:53.160 compliments on it. Folks say it makes me look younger, and. 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.000 You can do an updo. It can be very regal. 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:57.520 If it's good enough for Michelle Obama, I'm like done, 0:02:57.840 --> 0:02:59.120 like she has not. 0:02:59.680 --> 0:03:02.840 This is start I created for myself. Watch this. I 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:06.000 did this on what cover? It was? Show magazine. 0:03:07.400 --> 0:03:07.720 Audio. 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:08.560 Don't know what you're doing. 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:10.760 We'll be on video, don't you worry. Be a fan 0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:13.120 on YouTube. Look it's zoom in this. 0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:18.480 Okay, isn't that sex? I love this. 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:20.280 If you like it, I love it. 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:21.799 I showed her how to do that. 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.720 Did you so? 0:03:25.720 --> 0:03:28.800 Tell me about your haircare routine, mister Mike. 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:29.720 Go for it? 0:03:31.480 --> 0:03:34.239 Well, so, all right, So it's funny that you say 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:36.760 that I used to be a bother. Okay, Oh really, 0:03:37.760 --> 0:03:40.040 My cousin's here every now and then, and Uncle Mark's 0:03:40.040 --> 0:03:42.520 here on the show. You know, so I go there. 0:03:42.520 --> 0:03:44.720 Don't play, don't play play routine. 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:48.560 That's all she asked. 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.240 Is it just there? Do you like add a little 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:52.200 thumb sum This is. 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:55.440 My opportunity to just kind of point out as women, 0:03:55.720 --> 0:03:57.840 how much we have to do to get ready, and 0:03:57.840 --> 0:04:00.360 it's not right. We have to start like to days 0:04:00.400 --> 0:04:04.680 ahead of time, day shower, motion and shade and they're 0:04:04.720 --> 0:04:06.760 out the door. And then want to know why we're 0:04:06.800 --> 0:04:07.560 taking this so long? 0:04:08.280 --> 0:04:11.760 Yeah, twenty years of marriage, you still ask her why 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:17.960 she's taking so long. I don't three daughters, so what 0:04:17.960 --> 0:04:19.200 are their agentes? Let's see age. 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:23.000 Range twenty three, thirteen and six. 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:28.520 Stop you're talking about I'm tired. Well, no, that's a 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:29.400 huge aig range. 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:33.279 I asked myself a few times if the decision should 0:04:33.279 --> 0:04:35.920 have been to have them all within a window and 0:04:35.960 --> 0:04:36.880 be done. 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:40.159 Because each time you got comfortable enough like you forgot 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:42.279 probably how and then you went and did it again. 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:43.719 And that's what I'm afraid it's going to happen. 0:04:43.920 --> 0:04:47.760 Only thing I regretted because after the last one, I 0:04:47.839 --> 0:04:50.320 was forty two when I had her, So after the 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:53.479 last one, I didn't have that snapback that I had 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:56.799 when I had on middle big, nothing, step fast, nothing 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:59.120 at all. It didn't it didn't happy for me. I 0:04:59.160 --> 0:05:01.680 was waiting, So that would be my only regret for 0:05:01.920 --> 0:05:05.480 what I do love is they each had their own time. 0:05:05.920 --> 0:05:09.440 Do you know what I mean? They really had right? Yeah? 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:11.080 There is to just be the star. 0:05:11.480 --> 0:05:15.159 Yeah yeah. You know what's interesting about that gap is 0:05:15.200 --> 0:05:20.400 that they each have received different parents, right, because we've 0:05:20.440 --> 0:05:24.159 become people throughout the stages, and each one you learn 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:27.400 more through each child. So you know, Harper is the 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:30.359 youngest one. She's sick, she she has some amazing parents. 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:33.440 She's living her best life. I know, Harper. She's one 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:37.840 of those kids to eat sushi, isn't she now? Okay? 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:40.280 And they've got the parents that will working it out, 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:41.720 trying to figure it out. 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:43.839 Wait, what's the what's the eldest called? 0:05:44.120 --> 0:05:45.320 Simone is the oldest? 0:05:45.520 --> 0:05:47.400 Oh, poor Simone. I know how Simone feels. When I 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:49.719 went to college, my little brother was a king. He 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:52.360 had a he had a flat screen TV. He got that, 0:05:52.640 --> 0:05:54.680 he got the hand me down king bed. Meanwhile, I 0:05:54.680 --> 0:05:57.560 slept on a futon all through high school, folded up 0:05:57.560 --> 0:06:00.600 because there wasn't enough space. Anyway, Simone, I see you. 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:07.880 Though. She's actually graduated college magna cum claude. And in 0:06:07.880 --> 0:06:10.560 the fashion industry, which was her dream. So she has 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:13.320 no complaints. But the only time to take from hers 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:16.680 when is due, uh, where where she wants where she 0:06:16.720 --> 0:06:18.919 wants some money for something she wants to travel, you know. 0:06:18.960 --> 0:06:21.400 Otherwise it's like I don't think I'm coming home for Thanksgiving. 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:24.160 I have a life now, but that's. 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:26.480 The dream, right, Like you're sort of living my ambition 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:29.880 as a mother. Right, it's to create that generational wealth, 0:06:29.920 --> 0:06:31.880 and that's what it can look like. It's no stress 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:34.560 about rent. How do you guys balance that? I mean, 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:37.600 I don't know much about your upbringing, but well, how 0:06:37.640 --> 0:06:40.320 do you think about your children's relationship to money and 0:06:40.360 --> 0:06:43.159 what you want to offer them and you know, still 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:47.800 make sure that they're well rounded and confend for themselves. 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:51.279 Well, I'll say this, you know, becomes a tug of war. 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:54.560 You know, we don't let them just have any everything 0:06:54.600 --> 0:06:57.839 they want. However, there are points where they were like, okay, 0:06:57.920 --> 0:07:00.160 well I'll just play you against each other. I won't 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:02.839 that mom knowing dad no, and I kind of will 0:07:02.880 --> 0:07:06.599 get what I want, right, But we are instilling in 0:07:06.680 --> 0:07:10.960 them that it's not just money, money, money money, It's 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:14.600 about earning it's about learning, it's about understanding. It's a tool, 0:07:15.200 --> 0:07:17.800 not just something that's willy nilly. You go work, you know, 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:19.840 go spending however you want to work for you. 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:25.400 I mean what I'll say, Mandy. When I grew up, 0:07:26.800 --> 0:07:30.559 my parents and my grandparents' generation believe in hard work. 0:07:30.640 --> 0:07:30.800 Right. 0:07:30.840 --> 0:07:33.360 It was sort of like, you know, you work hard 0:07:33.440 --> 0:07:35.160 and you'll have the things, but you got to put 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:37.000 in your years and you got to pay your dues. 0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:41.560 And you know, at first, you know, our thought is 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:45.080 to pass that down. But I actually stand here saying 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:48.280 the antithesis of it, instead of working hard, works smart. 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:51.360 You should not take thirty years to do what we 0:07:51.400 --> 0:07:53.760 can do in thirty days. Now, you know, there's a 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:59.480 lot more information being shared out there, wisdom knowledge. This generation, 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:02.560 we've had the opportunity to plan forward for our kids. 0:08:02.920 --> 0:08:05.320 This generation, for our family is going to be the 0:08:05.360 --> 0:08:08.360 first generation of trust fund babies. I didn't have to 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:10.760 you know what many of us didn't have. We didn't 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:13.040 even know what that was. We wouldn't even trust you 0:08:13.080 --> 0:08:13.880 with our funds. 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:18.480 But the trust fund was under the mattress. Good luck, 0:08:19.160 --> 0:08:20.040 hope something's left. 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:23.400 You learn more, you know better, do better, and but 0:08:23.560 --> 0:08:26.560 still we're not raising spoiled, rotten kids. We want them 0:08:26.600 --> 0:08:29.880 to still understand the value of heartwork, know how to 0:08:29.920 --> 0:08:33.000 do for themselves. But more more importantly, the difference now 0:08:33.240 --> 0:08:37.000 is teaching them what they'll never learn in school. You know, 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:39.640 how to make your money work for them and make 0:08:39.679 --> 0:08:40.680 it last for generation. 0:08:40.920 --> 0:08:45.000 Right, enough about them kids, I want to hear about marriage. 0:08:45.679 --> 0:08:47.560 Kids get all the attention. I'm you know, I have 0:08:47.559 --> 0:08:50.360 a five year old and a two year old, and ooh, 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:52.760 I am at that stage where it's like the marriage 0:08:52.800 --> 0:08:55.800 is like where I mean, it's so hard at the 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:59.360 end of the day, the way that we are physically exhausted. 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:02.240 And I live in New York. I'm from Georgia. My 0:09:02.280 --> 0:09:04.480 family is all over the country. I don't have a 0:09:04.520 --> 0:09:07.920 family village. I have neighbors that I have worked so 0:09:08.080 --> 0:09:11.320 hard to I live in the suburbs, and during the pandemic, 0:09:11.360 --> 0:09:12.960 I was like, I'm gonna get to know everybody because 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:17.200 I need help, and those relationships have served me so well. 0:09:17.320 --> 0:09:19.959 But still, you know, I'm running a couple of businesses. 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:22.480 My husband works in the city, and at the end 0:09:22.520 --> 0:09:25.240 of the night, it's just like you good, you you 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:27.000 you survive and I'll see you in the morning for 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:30.640 like five minutes. I know it won't be like this forever. 0:09:31.000 --> 0:09:34.400 But did y'all experience times like that throughout your marriage? 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:37.199 And like, how did you find time to reconnect? And 0:09:37.240 --> 0:09:39.040 how do you prioritize yourselves? 0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:41.520 First thing I'll say is, so you said you're from 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:44.559 Georgia and you live in New York. 0:09:46.679 --> 0:09:49.839 No, everyone, everyone went to Atlanta. I got to get 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:50.280 back there. 0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:56.440 Yeah, passing ships in the night like roommates. 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:57.840 Didn't we we've been there. 0:09:57.760 --> 0:09:59.920 Made Oh yeah, I'm in that stage. That one I like. 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:03.600 But one of the things that we, you know, pride 0:10:03.600 --> 0:10:06.080 ourselves on is we're in a space now to where 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:09.040 we know the importance of it not just being partners 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:12.960 in business, not just being business owners, but understanding that 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:15.719 if we don't work, nothing else is gonna work. Right, 0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:18.160 you can do all of this and then you never 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:22.160 see each other. And that goes outside of an order, right, 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:24.319 But those that may be Christian based and order the 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:27.920 aligned God, the man, the wife, the family, et cetera. 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:31.560 So we continue to date continuously. You know, if it's 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:33.880 not night, it's gonna be days. If it's not days, 0:10:33.880 --> 0:10:36.280 it gonna be an hour. We continue to get our 0:10:36.400 --> 0:10:40.920 time as husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend to make 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:48.000 sure everything else flows through it. Don't don't, don't advise 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:50.920 you many make sure y'all don't get so lost in 0:10:51.000 --> 0:10:54.400 the work that you no longer like each other. Okay, 0:10:54.920 --> 0:10:56.640 and that's one of the things we make that we. 0:10:56.640 --> 0:10:58.360 No longer like each other. Like all the time, we 0:10:58.400 --> 0:11:01.160 cannot like each other. Sometimes you got to give me 0:11:01.200 --> 0:11:04.960 something at least an hour day. 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:09.520 But the reality is, I think where marriages start to suffer, 0:11:09.640 --> 0:11:12.600 right is where the kids become all the priority. Business 0:11:12.600 --> 0:11:15.720 becomes a priority. Everybody else comes first, and you have 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:17.760 to meet up in big for a little rat ta 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:19.320 tech you happen to. 0:11:19.480 --> 0:11:22.240 If you're lucky and I haven't put my bonnet on you, 0:11:26.040 --> 0:11:28.280 you have to the same way we schedule to prioritize 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:28.800 everything else. 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:32.360 You have to prioritize your relationship as well. Often, especially 0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:34.199 if you've been together as long as we have twenty 0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:38.840 one years, you have to re meet one another something 0:11:38.320 --> 0:11:40.559 the man that I'm married. 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:43.959 Sorry, my Siri really liked what you said and wanted 0:11:43.960 --> 0:11:52.000 to chime in. Something went wrong, try again. That's pretty 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:53.760 apt for my situation. Yeah, go ahead. 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:57.560 Well, yeah, you just you know, re meeet one another. 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:00.760 You know, we have a point in I'm married where 0:12:00.800 --> 0:12:03.800 we talked about divorce. This was what was that about 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:11.360 seven years ago? Eight years ago? Because you had it backwards. 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:15.680 You know, we were we were just building businesses. You know, 0:12:15.840 --> 0:12:17.880 I was at a stage where I wanted another baby. 0:12:18.320 --> 0:12:21.000 You didn't necessarily want another baby, so you know, we 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:25.000 had different priorities. We didn't have the support that we 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:26.880 put in place now, and it was just it was 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:31.880 a scary rod. I also, you know, was was being 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:33.800 a little selfish, I'm to be honest with you, because 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:36.600 it was I was building, building, building, building, not thinking 0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:39.800 that if I'm free to build, who's watching the baby? 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:43.320 You know, he's watching the trying to build too. And 0:12:43.400 --> 0:12:46.760 so you know, so we went to therapy for a 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:49.240 period of time and therapist essentially kicked us out of 0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:50.400 her office. 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:53.959 Why because she was like yellow Fryan, get out of here. 0:12:54.400 --> 0:12:56.480 No, no, no, just opposite. She was like, y'all do 0:12:56.559 --> 0:13:01.480 not belong together. You're the worst. But because we didn't 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:05.080 talk at home about our rights, a fear of offending 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.040 the other person, so they don't want to get the therapy. 0:13:08.080 --> 0:13:10.120 You just want to let it all out and let 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:13.960 it all out. And she's like, oh my god, you 0:13:14.000 --> 0:13:16.520 don't belong together. And I looked at her. I was like, 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:17.480 you don't belong. 0:13:17.200 --> 0:13:18.320 In this business. 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:21.280 You're not supposed to say that, Jesus. 0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:25.920 But it worked. It worked actually because we realize, like, 0:13:26.080 --> 0:13:32.280 you can't tell us that we're fighting for that, and right, yeah, 0:13:32.720 --> 0:13:33.520 we force our. 0:13:33.440 --> 0:13:37.240 Relationship, you know. In addition to that, I would say, also, 0:13:37.480 --> 0:13:39.160 you know, with regard to how do we make it 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:42.880 all work, there's no competition here, right. We lean into 0:13:42.920 --> 0:13:46.320 each other's strengths. And you know, I was at home 0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:49.280 with the kids at times, and I didn't mind that. However, 0:13:49.360 --> 0:13:52.720 there may be times where certain men feel uncomfortable, they 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:56.360 feel less of a man because they're like, I feel 0:13:56.720 --> 0:13:58.520 I need to be making more money, or I should 0:13:58.520 --> 0:14:00.920 be the bread woman at this point in my life. However, 0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:03.760 or the roles may change, and she's like, I didn't 0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:05.800 sign up to be a stay at home mom. We 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:10.160 understand that this works for us, right, It doesn't matter 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:13.480 what society says or what any relationship book may say. 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:17.040 This works for us. There's no competition, there's no egos. 0:14:17.320 --> 0:14:19.960 We know each other's strengths. When I'm weak, she strong, 0:14:20.200 --> 0:14:24.080 and vice versa, and we and we owned that, we 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:25.440 own it for our really no. 0:14:25.440 --> 0:14:27.680 True, I'm really I just, first of all, I want 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:32.240 to say thank you so much. I feel like conversations 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:35.640 like this for someone like me who's who wants to 0:14:36.280 --> 0:14:40.360 have a lasting relationship and marriage, not because I'm sold 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:43.280 on the fantasy of it, but because I genuinely I mean, 0:14:43.360 --> 0:14:46.240 I'm a journalist by trade. I've I'm writing a book 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:48.480 right now called Brown Ambition. I know what happens to 0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:51.760 kids who grow up in an environment where they see 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:54.960 examples of good relationships. You know, I won't even put 0:14:54.960 --> 0:14:58.000 like the marriage label on it. So I'm striving for that. 0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:00.520 I'm striving to raise my kids in that kind of environment. 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:03.560 But with that does come these moments. And I'm just 0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:08.400 really grateful to y'all for going there. Hey, ba, fam, 0:15:08.600 --> 0:15:10.920 we got to take a quick break, pay some bills, 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:14.680 and we'll be right back. Welcome back, bea fam. Let's 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:19.560 get back to the show. I think Michelle Obama like 0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:21.680 she broke the internet when she talked about the ten 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:26.640 years you gotta you didn't even like Barack and Tabatha 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:29.440 Brown and her husband. It's his name Chance. I think, 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:32.800 so I just more of this, please not because I 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:35.920 think it's important to like, for the I don't know, 0:15:36.360 --> 0:15:38.520 not to make it like a tabloidy type thing like ooh, 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:41.360 did you know? But genuinely, how did you work through it? 0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:43.640 And what really resonated with me is I'm listening to 0:15:43.720 --> 0:15:47.880 y'all is the lack of saying what's on our minds, 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:50.920 to not offend, to not create conflict. And one of 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:55.000 the hardest challenges has been to trust each other with 0:15:55.160 --> 0:16:00.640 conflict and to realize that the that not telling the 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.600 truth is like saying that you don't trust me with 0:16:04.080 --> 0:16:07.680 your truth, and that's that's like an unhealthy, you know, 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:11.120 state of your relationship. And that's been a huge game changer. 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:12.800 We want you know, it's been a really tough year 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:16.200 and I feel like when that clicked and we could 0:16:16.240 --> 0:16:19.920 be more honest, Yeah, it just I felt that deeply. 0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:23.080 Thank you God to open up Pandora's box just with 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:26.680 that statement, because there's so much to unpacking that. So, 0:16:26.800 --> 0:16:30.000 for instance, one of the things in relationships in general, 0:16:30.080 --> 0:16:33.560 not just you know, platonic or you know, marriages, et cetera, 0:16:33.680 --> 0:16:36.840 but when someone is speaking, how are they speaking to you? 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:37.640 Right? 0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:39.880 Are they speaking with you? Are they speaking at you? 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:42.560 Are they speaking to you? It's not what you say, 0:16:43.000 --> 0:16:45.120 it's how you say it. A lot in relationships that 0:16:45.200 --> 0:16:48.960 can deter someone from ever opening up again. And you know, 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:51.160 on the flip side, you hear a lot of men 0:16:51.240 --> 0:16:54.120 say for the most part, is that they'll clam up, 0:16:54.120 --> 0:16:56.600 they'll shell up because the moment I did try to 0:16:56.640 --> 0:16:58.720 open up to you, you know, you be littered me 0:16:58.800 --> 0:17:01.120 or you said something that I didn't like. It just 0:17:01.160 --> 0:17:03.760 it was wrong. You approached it wrong. So now they 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:05.520 just never opened up and I can go for both, 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:09.600 go both ways, right. So when relationships again, I think 0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:12.040 one of the big things is not just what you say, 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:13.280 but how you say it as well. 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:17.160 And I'll also add to that that you know when 0:17:17.200 --> 0:17:22.399 you are significant other stops communicating and stops talking is 0:17:22.440 --> 0:17:25.600 when you're in trouble. And even if y'all are screaming 0:17:25.720 --> 0:17:27.640 to the top of your lungs, it might seem toxic, 0:17:27.800 --> 0:17:29.840 but at the very least you know that the other 0:17:29.960 --> 0:17:34.359 still cares enough to exert the energy to fight for it, 0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:37.400 to try and fight this right when they just. 0:17:37.359 --> 0:17:42.119 Said this is why I pick fights. I'm like, and 0:17:42.119 --> 0:17:46.360 You're like you still love And he's like and I'm like, oh, 0:17:46.440 --> 0:17:48.879 never mind, did to do? He's like, what why are 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:51.600 you arguing about who left the milk out overnight? I'm like, 0:17:51.640 --> 0:17:53.720 I don't know. Just need a little touch base. 0:18:00.280 --> 0:18:03.080 For us though, Like truly, Mandy, we had gotten to 0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:06.920 this place when our middle baby was two weeks old. 0:18:07.000 --> 0:18:10.040 We moved to Atlanta, so old diver city, no try. 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:13.280 I didn't know anybody trying to establish ourselves, build businesses. 0:18:13.359 --> 0:18:13.600 I was. 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:16.240 I also had a radio show at that point, and 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:20.520 it was literally like starting all over. We bid off 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:23.320 way more than we could chew. So you already have 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:27.359 a new baby, new city, new jobs, and you know 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:31.359 it was going to like pressure burst pipes. We didn't 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:35.800 account for that. And I also was moving so fast 0:18:35.920 --> 0:18:38.320 just trying to do do do that. I never turned 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:41.560 to say, Michael, you're okay? How are you feeling like? 0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:44.000 You know, how has you been taking the brunt of 0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:46.200 dealing with the baby, or how's that taken a toll 0:18:46.240 --> 0:18:48.800 on you? Right? He also was a business owner up 0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:50.960 in New York and Jersey, and he closed that business 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:54.919 to start all over down here. And right right, I 0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:58.360 thought he was okay and he wasn't okay. So when 0:18:58.440 --> 0:19:01.040 we ignore the writing on the wall, when we don't 0:19:01.080 --> 0:19:06.359 do check ins with one another, is essentially where resentments build. 0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:10.360 Yeah, isn't it hard to you know? When you think 0:19:10.400 --> 0:19:14.000 about the I always say, like women of our of 0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:18.240 my our gener our generation millennium, I'm not gonna you 0:19:18.280 --> 0:19:20.360 look like you could be a gen Z millennial. I'll 0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:24.560 be with yeah millennial, even we'll go with thezillennial. But 0:19:24.640 --> 0:19:26.879 there is this idea that like, oh, we can have 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:28.080 it all and you can get you should get the 0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:29.960 job and go for the promotion, and like, you know, 0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:32.159 and I'm a negotiation coach too, so I'm out here 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:34.240 trying to teach women how to feel confident and secure 0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:37.320 that bag and have those tough conversations. And at the 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:41.760 same time, and people don't necessarily especially if you're I'm 0:19:41.760 --> 0:19:44.240 being heteronormative here, So you know, I know that there's 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:47.480 different dynamics and other types of relationships, but in a 0:19:47.640 --> 0:19:51.600 you know, a you know, woman man those two gender identities, 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:54.280 and as a woman, you kind of you get married 0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:56.720 and you're like, oh, but I'm the new generation, like 0:19:57.680 --> 0:19:59.800 the husband's going to be a fifty to fifty equal 0:20:00.280 --> 0:20:02.639 domestic partner, and like all this is supposed to and 0:20:02.720 --> 0:20:04.600 like they're not supposed to complain about it. And so 0:20:05.359 --> 0:20:09.040 even being open to the idea that your husband needs 0:20:09.040 --> 0:20:11.399 support or that he like I was, I've been, I 0:20:11.440 --> 0:20:14.600 found myself expecting him to just like get with it, 0:20:14.680 --> 0:20:17.120 like this is the new this is a new age. 0:20:17.160 --> 0:20:19.479 Like you're going to be changing diapers and be here 0:20:19.520 --> 0:20:21.520 all day and like if you don't agree to that, 0:20:21.600 --> 0:20:23.639 then you must not support women and you must be 0:20:24.119 --> 0:20:26.320 you must have issues. We need to unpack that. Let's 0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:30.240 go to therapy for you. And there's some humility, there's 0:20:30.320 --> 0:20:32.159 like it has to be. It can't be like so 0:20:32.359 --> 0:20:35.439 far in each direction if you want to have a partnership. 0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:40.800 You know, the way you just said that is actually dangerous. 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:43.040 And what I mean by that is that's how a 0:20:43.200 --> 0:20:46.000 lot of young ladies are feeling like or should I 0:20:46.000 --> 0:20:48.040 say believe it should be. 0:20:48.680 --> 0:20:50.920 Oh yeah, I know I'm saying that as like, oh, 0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:54.080 we gotta know, I know, backtrack a little. 0:20:53.760 --> 0:20:56.800 Bit thin somebody's watching and they feel like head nod 0:20:56.880 --> 0:20:58.520 is moving back and forth and this is the new 0:20:58.600 --> 0:21:01.359 day and age this is how you should be. And 0:21:01.400 --> 0:21:04.560 it's unfortunate, you know, because a lot of men actually 0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:07.800 are perfectly fine with staying home and understanding that they 0:21:07.800 --> 0:21:11.160 can work from home and be an amazing man, right 0:21:11.640 --> 0:21:19.320 and vice versa. But when the society says, Okay, this 0:21:19.400 --> 0:21:21.159 is the new age, this is how it should be. 0:21:21.840 --> 0:21:24.000 But then you have a young man or you have 0:21:24.040 --> 0:21:26.720 a young lady that has never had the tools, have 0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:28.679 never seen what it looks like to be in a 0:21:28.840 --> 0:21:31.960 great relationship. All they see is what's on social media 0:21:32.160 --> 0:21:34.920 and what is blown up on certain blogs of podcasts, 0:21:34.960 --> 0:21:37.400 and they run with it and they can't figure out 0:21:37.400 --> 0:21:40.160 why their relationships are not working because they are going 0:21:40.240 --> 0:21:43.440 by what society said he should right. 0:21:43.760 --> 0:21:46.760 Yeah, for their Yeah, the idea they have, go ahead. 0:21:46.760 --> 0:21:51.280 Sorry, Egypt, I'm still stuck on heteronormaty. You know that's 0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:52.000 a new word for. 0:21:52.000 --> 0:21:55.120 Me or really well sorry, yeah, I mean it's it's 0:21:55.320 --> 0:21:57.359 what I What I mean by that is like I 0:21:57.359 --> 0:22:00.480 think there's this the traditional gender stereotypes and every relationship. 0:22:00.480 --> 0:22:02.040 I just didn't want to make people who are in 0:22:02.160 --> 0:22:05.120 same gendered like they have a different Like my sister, 0:22:05.200 --> 0:22:08.240 for example, she's married to a trans man and they 0:22:08.280 --> 0:22:10.520 have a different set of certain you know, different kind 0:22:10.560 --> 0:22:15.080 of like societal cultural like stories that they've been told 0:22:15.080 --> 0:22:17.000 about their different roles, and they're trying to figure out 0:22:17.000 --> 0:22:19.280 their new normal. So that's that's all I meant by that. 0:22:20.040 --> 0:22:21.600 I was just like, yeah, I just love. 0:22:23.080 --> 0:22:27.800 To day you think it, You're welcome. 0:22:30.240 --> 0:22:34.439 I think at the end of the day, saying the 0:22:34.480 --> 0:22:41.160 shame rules do apply, Mutual respect is it's it's just period. 0:22:41.240 --> 0:22:42.960 And you know, it's a grace that we should send 0:22:42.960 --> 0:22:45.679 to everyone, not just the person that we're with. Uh. 0:22:46.040 --> 0:22:50.080 Clear communication versus assumption. You know, if you assume you 0:22:50.160 --> 0:22:53.320 know how someone feels or how they should feel based 0:22:53.400 --> 0:22:56.440 upon however you're processing it. And that's where we're wrong 0:22:57.119 --> 0:23:01.439 as well. I think also having a base together, like 0:23:01.480 --> 0:23:04.880 in a couple. Shit, no matter what your whether you're heteronormative, 0:23:04.920 --> 0:23:07.399 whether you're homonormative, I don't I don't know how you 0:23:07.440 --> 0:23:11.560 would call it, but there has to be some sort 0:23:11.560 --> 0:23:15.679 of return to, you know, to return to start for 0:23:15.720 --> 0:23:19.480 a relationship that you know, if things start to go left, 0:23:19.800 --> 0:23:22.320 let's let's take it back to what we know grounds us. 0:23:22.600 --> 0:23:24.720 For us, it is prayer and meditation. 0:23:26.080 --> 0:23:26.760 That's beautiful. 0:23:27.080 --> 0:23:27.720 It really is. 0:23:27.800 --> 0:23:27.960 You know. 0:23:27.960 --> 0:23:29.960 One of the things that I loved about him when 0:23:29.960 --> 0:23:32.879 we were dating is, you know, I'm a praying woman, 0:23:33.040 --> 0:23:34.919 and when I would drop down on my knees, he 0:23:35.040 --> 0:23:37.520 get behind me, wrap his arms around me, put his 0:23:37.560 --> 0:23:40.879 hands over my and cover me to me. Just the symbolism, 0:23:41.119 --> 0:23:46.040 you know, you know, can we get a painting the loop? 0:23:46.440 --> 0:23:49.320 But but maybe that's not for everybody. I don't care 0:23:49.359 --> 0:23:50.960 if you was just going to the gym. You know, 0:23:51.160 --> 0:23:53.880 for some people it's like it grounds them, it centers them. 0:23:54.160 --> 0:23:55.880 It's just going to the gym and work it out. 0:23:56.600 --> 0:24:01.160 But whatever that home base is for your relateationship, don't 0:24:01.200 --> 0:24:03.840 make it so long before you return to it, you know, 0:24:03.920 --> 0:24:07.119 make sure you revisit what got you guys together in 0:24:07.160 --> 0:24:07.800 the first place. 0:24:08.840 --> 0:24:11.400 Oh that's not sweet. I hadn't like put a name 0:24:11.400 --> 0:24:13.320 on that. But for us, it's walking, taking a little 0:24:13.359 --> 0:24:16.879 walk in nature. It's usually how we get back. Okay, 0:24:16.880 --> 0:24:18.159 I want to get I mean I could talk to 0:24:18.200 --> 0:24:20.880 you all about that forever. I'm assuming when's the book 0:24:20.920 --> 0:24:22.600 coming out? Are you going to have a marriage book? 0:24:24.680 --> 0:24:26.119 It's in the works, isn't it. 0:24:26.760 --> 0:24:29.240 Well, you know, what we don't claim to be experts 0:24:29.280 --> 0:24:30.080 in any category. 0:24:30.200 --> 0:24:31.640 Even've got to be an expert. You can do whatever 0:24:31.680 --> 0:24:34.000 you want, write a book, but I love the stories. 0:24:34.000 --> 0:24:36.159 I think you have so much to teach it and 0:24:36.200 --> 0:24:39.800 thinks that even we expressed that on a podcast. But 0:24:39.880 --> 0:24:42.120 we do have a lot of experience in certain things 0:24:42.119 --> 0:24:45.840 and have had some experiences that we definitely would love 0:24:45.880 --> 0:24:46.240 to share. 0:24:47.040 --> 0:24:51.840 Okay, got it now? AHATV and y'all starting your businesses together. 0:24:51.880 --> 0:24:54.840 When did that merger kind of happen? Were you doing 0:24:54.880 --> 0:24:57.359 your own thing Egypt and then you might do in 0:24:57.400 --> 0:24:59.160 your own thing. When did y'all decide let's go into 0:24:59.160 --> 0:24:59.639 this together. 0:25:00.160 --> 0:25:03.760 It started during COVID. You know that COVID was It 0:25:03.760 --> 0:25:06.720 was a redefinition definition period for a lot of people 0:25:06.840 --> 0:25:08.800 because we were trying to get used to the new 0:25:08.840 --> 0:25:12.679 normal working from the kitchen counter, trying to run your 0:25:12.720 --> 0:25:15.240 business and still earn money or be the school team. 0:25:15.280 --> 0:25:18.320 Oh my god, you didn't have your kids hearning COVID. 0:25:18.440 --> 0:25:20.200 I had one baby, I had a newborn. 0:25:20.560 --> 0:25:23.880 Oh my gosh, just a whole new appreciation for teachers though, 0:25:24.160 --> 0:25:24.600 and when. 0:25:24.480 --> 0:25:27.320 They Yeah, thank god I didn't have he wasn't virtual 0:25:27.359 --> 0:25:30.320 homeschool that, Yeah, that's so tough. 0:25:30.560 --> 0:25:35.800 He did that, and so that for us we had to, 0:25:35.840 --> 0:25:38.240 I mean again, out with the old rules. Let's figure 0:25:38.240 --> 0:25:41.760 out how we can survive. And we really wound up 0:25:41.840 --> 0:25:44.880 liking the new definition of our marriage because we were 0:25:44.960 --> 0:25:49.080 running our respective businesses from the kitchen island while breakfast 0:25:49.119 --> 0:25:51.440 was being made, while one of us was teaching the other, 0:25:51.600 --> 0:25:54.000 while we're you know, playing that for the other one. 0:25:54.000 --> 0:25:57.360 And ended up it was a lot happening. But we 0:25:57.359 --> 0:26:01.119 were running separate businesses, and the and we kept them 0:26:01.160 --> 0:26:04.920 separate is because we were married. And it's like too much. 0:26:05.240 --> 0:26:06.959 Too much is you know, if a good thing can 0:26:07.000 --> 0:26:09.000 be a bad thing, So you run your business. I'm 0:26:09.000 --> 0:26:13.840 gonna remind But as we started filming just what was 0:26:13.880 --> 0:26:16.000 happening around our house, he was doing this on his 0:26:16.080 --> 0:26:19.080 cell phone, we realized how much we were working against 0:26:19.119 --> 0:26:22.520 one another. Literally, I was sending business to other contractors. 0:26:22.680 --> 0:26:25.760 He was sending business to other realtors and designers, all 0:26:25.800 --> 0:26:28.520 for the sake of trying to keep a safe space 0:26:28.560 --> 0:26:31.040 for our marriage. When we realized, you know, really what 0:26:31.119 --> 0:26:33.479 it is is if we set loop, we can do 0:26:33.560 --> 0:26:36.239 so much better together. You're doing great on your own soul, live, 0:26:36.280 --> 0:26:38.919 but we can do so much better together. So it 0:26:39.000 --> 0:26:42.720 was during those COVID years that we I mean, here, here, 0:26:42.720 --> 0:26:44.160 it is right here, here's you want one that's gonna 0:26:44.160 --> 0:26:51.600 be controversial, Yes, please an exclusive, but it is gonna 0:26:51.640 --> 0:26:55.240 be controversial. We decided that we would return to what 0:26:55.280 --> 0:26:58.560 our grandparents did, sleeping in separate bedrooms and separate bits 0:27:00.160 --> 0:27:02.720 for some you know, we had some people say, oh, 0:27:02.800 --> 0:27:03.800 that's the kiss of death. 0:27:05.640 --> 0:27:09.160 Yeah, no, I thought, as if your butts didn't touch 0:27:09.200 --> 0:27:11.199 when you were sleeping, that's the Steve Harvey thing. That 0:27:11.320 --> 0:27:12.160 is just nonsense. 0:27:12.560 --> 0:27:16.480 Go ahead, But it was beautiful for us so much 0:27:16.520 --> 0:27:18.760 that we love to for a couple of years. But 0:27:19.119 --> 0:27:22.440 it also helped us have that you know, that time 0:27:22.480 --> 0:27:24.800 that you need to just like to yourself so that 0:27:24.880 --> 0:27:26.720 when you return to each other, you can be the 0:27:26.760 --> 0:27:29.880 best version of you. And that's also how we decided 0:27:29.920 --> 0:27:31.919 that we would be able to launch our business as 0:27:31.960 --> 0:27:34.520 long as we gave the other their space that they 0:27:34.600 --> 0:27:35.920 needed when they needed it. 0:27:35.920 --> 0:27:39.000 So let us elaborate on the room separate before somebody 0:27:39.040 --> 0:27:40.360 grabs that and tweaks it a little bit. 0:27:41.119 --> 0:27:43.000 That's enough. Let's leave a little bit to do, you know, 0:27:43.359 --> 0:27:45.040 leave a little ambiguity. 0:27:44.680 --> 0:27:48.359 It's important because it's a blessing. A lot of folks 0:27:48.400 --> 0:27:51.960 don't have the ability to go into another room, depending 0:27:51.960 --> 0:27:54.240 on your room, especially you live in a loft in 0:27:54.240 --> 0:27:55.840 New York City, you like you go to the couch 0:27:55.880 --> 0:27:58.000 and go to the table. They don't have that ability, 0:27:58.280 --> 0:28:02.040 but those that do are understand that. Man, I would 0:28:02.080 --> 0:28:04.320 love a reset right now. I'm not mad at them, 0:28:04.600 --> 0:28:06.679 but a reset would be amazing. To listen to what 0:28:06.720 --> 0:28:08.680 I want to listen to, to watch what I want 0:28:08.680 --> 0:28:10.199 to watch, you know what I'm saying, to eat what 0:28:10.280 --> 0:28:12.800 I want to eat, in peace, et cetera. So when 0:28:12.840 --> 0:28:16.639 that happened, it was a matter of where we saw that. Okay, 0:28:16.840 --> 0:28:20.440 we both had the kids all day at the same time. 0:28:20.640 --> 0:28:23.600 How about let's do this Monday. You have the kids. Tuesday, 0:28:23.600 --> 0:28:25.919 I'm going to this room and vice versa. 0:28:26.560 --> 0:28:30.680 It's co parenting at its finest. There's some z it's 0:28:30.760 --> 0:28:33.959 not a bad deal. Divorce parents, the co parenting, I 0:28:34.040 --> 0:28:37.560 admire that. So bringing it into your marriage like that's. 0:28:37.359 --> 0:28:40.040 It created such peace, you know, because of something. You 0:28:40.080 --> 0:28:42.440 don't want to get so lost in each other that 0:28:42.520 --> 0:28:47.000 you lose yourself. Damn, Yeah, you still gotta be You 0:28:47.040 --> 0:28:49.520 still gotta have guys night, you still gotta have girls night, 0:28:49.600 --> 0:28:52.640 and it all makes sense. Otherwise it's like all I 0:28:52.720 --> 0:28:54.800 have is them, So when they're not here, I don't 0:28:54.840 --> 0:28:58.040 know what to do. Right, don't lose yourself and work, 0:28:58.040 --> 0:28:59.200 don't lose yourself in each other. 0:29:00.520 --> 0:29:03.400 And So during that time, Mike, when you were in Atlanta, 0:29:03.480 --> 0:29:05.680 and I know you said you weren't doing so well, 0:29:05.760 --> 0:29:09.560 or Egypt said that, I'm wondering when how did you 0:29:09.600 --> 0:29:12.239 go about as a man building community in Atlanta and 0:29:12.280 --> 0:29:15.760 how did you make those connections? And then Egypt, how 0:29:15.760 --> 0:29:17.760 did you help him? Because sometimes I'm like, do you 0:29:17.800 --> 0:29:19.400 want me to set you a playdate? Because I feel 0:29:19.400 --> 0:29:22.040 like I'm so good at making connections. I'm like your 0:29:22.080 --> 0:29:24.440 friend from college, I'll email his wife like we'll get 0:29:24.440 --> 0:29:25.160 you guys together. 0:29:26.080 --> 0:29:27.080 But how did you do that? Mike? 0:29:27.480 --> 0:29:30.200 I didn't. I didn't, you know. And that's part of 0:29:30.240 --> 0:29:33.520 the problem because the person that I am, I'm going 0:29:33.560 --> 0:29:35.320 to hold on the things. Nobody needs to know what's 0:29:35.320 --> 0:29:39.520 going on within my household. So unless you were one 0:29:39.520 --> 0:29:42.760 of my cousins that I have ten thousand of or 0:29:42.880 --> 0:29:45.959 one of my great, great, great friends that I went 0:29:46.000 --> 0:29:47.440 to school with, there's only two of them that are 0:29:47.440 --> 0:29:50.760 here in Georgia. My thing is in your household. You 0:29:50.800 --> 0:29:54.240 can't tell everybody everything otherwise they start judging your other person. 0:29:54.680 --> 0:29:57.800 So my thing is I had to work on it internally, right, 0:29:58.440 --> 0:30:02.840 And I also knew that it wasn't forever. This is 0:30:02.960 --> 0:30:05.320 just a time period in my life that is in 0:30:05.440 --> 0:30:08.400 transition phase. So the new phase is coming, so I'm 0:30:08.440 --> 0:30:10.920 not going to get it as frustrated. What the frustration. 0:30:11.000 --> 0:30:14.920 The frustration came in when you try to explain yourself. 0:30:14.960 --> 0:30:19.520 Are you request certain things? And again, how the person responds, 0:30:19.720 --> 0:30:23.120 in their tone, what they say, that's what makes it worse. 0:30:23.120 --> 0:30:27.000 It's like, okay, I moved here. We moved here because 0:30:27.040 --> 0:30:29.480 of you, and I'm not where I need to be, 0:30:29.600 --> 0:30:32.400 but you're not even respecting just little requests or certain 0:30:32.400 --> 0:30:35.880 things I say. Right, So it wasn't listen, I love 0:30:35.920 --> 0:30:38.800 being a girl dad. I would do that heart beat 0:30:38.800 --> 0:30:41.120 it deal with none else. I don't care about finances 0:30:41.200 --> 0:30:44.280 or the look. That wasn't the issue. It was again, 0:30:44.720 --> 0:30:47.440 let's just still treat each other with respect, no matter 0:30:47.480 --> 0:30:50.040 how much this person may have or we may have. 0:30:50.240 --> 0:30:51.600 It's just that mutual respect. 0:30:52.360 --> 0:30:54.520 But I will say, because you know, one of your 0:30:54.600 --> 0:30:59.160 questions was, well, how did you build community and you know, 0:30:59.200 --> 0:31:01.160 to be able to have guys night and one have you? 0:31:01.560 --> 0:31:05.200 I think us recognized and that did come out of therapy, 0:31:05.320 --> 0:31:09.840 us recognizing that part of our challenge was when we 0:31:09.880 --> 0:31:13.880 moved here, we only had each other. You know, up north, 0:31:14.040 --> 0:31:15.920 he had a huge group of friends. I had a 0:31:16.000 --> 0:31:18.000 huge group of friends, and when we moved here, we 0:31:18.000 --> 0:31:19.800 really did have to cling to each other and it 0:31:19.840 --> 0:31:21.080 was just too much. 0:31:21.160 --> 0:31:24.280 Like you know, was that during the pandemic or before before? 0:31:24.760 --> 0:31:26.600 Okay before and. 0:31:26.600 --> 0:31:31.600 So again, intentionality and what we do across the board 0:31:31.680 --> 0:31:34.960 is important when you recognize that something is really missing 0:31:35.040 --> 0:31:36.680 that you need. Maybe you thought you didn't need it 0:31:36.680 --> 0:31:39.600 as much. I need girl time. I'm a girl's girl. 0:31:40.040 --> 0:31:45.240 He needed guys time away from all the girls. So 0:31:45.440 --> 0:31:50.280 what we did was start to become intentional about forging relationships. 0:31:50.720 --> 0:31:53.200 That's one of the ways that our podcast came together 0:31:53.320 --> 0:31:56.200 because we realized, okay, all right, we meet eight nights 0:31:56.240 --> 0:31:59.440 with couples, So let's create this podcast where we can 0:31:59.440 --> 0:32:02.360 invite folks who are doing it successfully or those who've 0:32:02.360 --> 0:32:04.440 been through something, so they could teach us how to 0:32:04.480 --> 0:32:07.600 get through things or other couples who are dealing with 0:32:07.640 --> 0:32:11.560 having three kids and businesses, so we can build relationships. 0:32:11.560 --> 0:32:14.360 And it really has done exactly what we carved for 0:32:14.600 --> 0:32:16.960 it to do, because we now have a lot of 0:32:17.040 --> 0:32:20.080 couple of friends and he'll have his guys nights. A 0:32:20.120 --> 0:32:22.720 big part of it was, you know, you said, Egypt, 0:32:22.720 --> 0:32:25.400 how do you support that? I don't make him feel 0:32:25.440 --> 0:32:29.520 guilty about it? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, Oh, 0:32:29.560 --> 0:32:33.000 you just won't go hang with the Yeah, I don't 0:32:33.040 --> 0:32:34.200 do that because y'all. 0:32:34.080 --> 0:32:36.680 Have a secure base now and you're not. I think 0:32:36.720 --> 0:32:39.200 sometimes it's not that you're doing something else. It's just like, 0:32:39.440 --> 0:32:41.960 but you haven't filled this cup and then you're gonna 0:32:42.440 --> 0:32:46.920 you know, and I think, I mean it's a I'm 0:32:48.120 --> 0:32:50.280 I'm so glad to hear some of the themes that 0:32:50.280 --> 0:32:53.080 we've talked about. It gives me a lot of confidence 0:32:53.400 --> 0:32:56.160 in my relationship and sort of the changes that we've 0:32:56.160 --> 0:32:58.840 been making. It gives me like hope. It also reminds 0:32:58.880 --> 0:33:01.080 me to what you said. This this mantra that I 0:33:01.120 --> 0:33:03.400 have is like this is a face. It will not 0:33:03.480 --> 0:33:05.760 be forever. My son doesn't want to wear pants in 0:33:05.800 --> 0:33:07.960 the morning. He sent him to school with no pants, 0:33:08.440 --> 0:33:11.200 my two year old, not the fireirl and I and 0:33:11.280 --> 0:33:13.560 normally I would be like screaming, like put your pants on. 0:33:13.600 --> 0:33:15.040 He'd be screaming. I'm just like, you know what, you 0:33:15.080 --> 0:33:17.160 want to rock with no pants? Here's a pretzel rod, like, 0:33:17.240 --> 0:33:20.560 here's some orange hues, like you're it's fine day care. 0:33:20.600 --> 0:33:22.240 I pay them enough, they can put your pants on, 0:33:22.320 --> 0:33:25.440 you know. And same with the relate And that's just 0:33:25.440 --> 0:33:27.240 been really freeing for me, and it's nice to hear 0:33:27.280 --> 0:33:32.760 that that's been helpful for y'all as well. Hey, BA Fam, 0:33:32.960 --> 0:33:35.280 we got to take a quick break, pay some bills, 0:33:35.400 --> 0:33:39.040 and we'll be right back. Welcome back, bea Fam. Let's 0:33:39.040 --> 0:33:43.600 get back to the show. Okay, So the podcast, is 0:33:43.600 --> 0:33:45.040 this your first season doing it? 0:33:46.160 --> 0:33:47.800 We're going into our second sees, this. 0:33:47.720 --> 0:33:51.720 Is your second season. Okay, So can you tell BA Fam, 0:33:51.800 --> 0:33:55.080 like who's your ideal listener? Like, who do you want 0:33:55.080 --> 0:33:56.920 to reach and who's the podcast for you? 0:33:57.160 --> 0:34:04.120 Go first ideal listener? Huh? I mean obviously, I mean, 0:34:04.200 --> 0:34:07.560 but not for nothing. So again, it's marriage and money, 0:34:07.920 --> 0:34:10.520 so we don't just hone in on relationships. I mean, 0:34:10.600 --> 0:34:13.120 your average teenager can tune in and hear some advice 0:34:13.200 --> 0:34:17.239 on financial tips. Right, So I would say everyone just 0:34:17.280 --> 0:34:19.640 tune in and get what get from it, whatever you 0:34:20.000 --> 0:34:20.920 think is good for you. 0:34:21.200 --> 0:34:23.680 Yeah, we have we have married people listen and just 0:34:23.760 --> 0:34:26.440 kind of chime in or ask questions, or they've sent 0:34:26.520 --> 0:34:28.840 us letters just saying, oh my god, you are me 0:34:28.880 --> 0:34:31.319 and I am you, you know, and how we delt 0:34:31.360 --> 0:34:33.680 with that and how transparent you guys were about that 0:34:33.800 --> 0:34:36.080 really helped me figure out where I am. But we've 0:34:36.080 --> 0:34:38.760 also had a lot of single people say I watch 0:34:39.200 --> 0:34:42.000 because I recognize I have to become the man to 0:34:42.120 --> 0:34:44.040 marry the woman that I want, or I have to 0:34:44.800 --> 0:34:47.399 myself as a woman to attract the type of man 0:34:47.480 --> 0:34:50.239 that I want. And so what do they say, being 0:34:50.280 --> 0:34:52.279 in the room is half the battle. So watching the 0:34:52.280 --> 0:34:55.360 podcast is half the battle, you know, to understanding the 0:34:55.440 --> 0:34:59.680 psychology of your mate or your future mate. If we 0:34:59.760 --> 0:35:05.600 just to understand instead of behard. God. So it's fun, 0:35:06.120 --> 0:35:09.359 is fun, like hats off. It's fun. You're gonna learn 0:35:09.360 --> 0:35:12.759 a lot, you're gonna laugh a lot, and it's in 0:35:12.800 --> 0:35:16.920 sider us you won't get from TV. I mean. 0:35:17.160 --> 0:35:20.000 And that's another part of why we created the podcast, right, 0:35:20.040 --> 0:35:22.360 because we knew there was a certain audience we weren't 0:35:22.440 --> 0:35:26.640 touching that needed to hear the other side. Get You 0:35:26.680 --> 0:35:28.680 get the ACTV side, but you also get a whole 0:35:28.719 --> 0:35:30.479 other side that you do not see on at TV 0:35:30.520 --> 0:35:36.800 because they edit it out. You know, we've had folks 0:35:36.840 --> 0:35:38.960 come up to us and even those that come on 0:35:39.000 --> 0:35:41.520 the show, you know, if they've ever had hesitation that 0:35:41.760 --> 0:35:44.200 Washington go oh, I can do this. And I'm saying 0:35:44.200 --> 0:35:47.239 that to say because our show, Yeah, we go there, 0:35:47.480 --> 0:35:51.920 but it's such positive energy. You know, we're there to inspire, 0:35:52.040 --> 0:35:56.600 share our experience, share the couple's experience, not to tell 0:35:56.640 --> 0:35:58.320 you what to do. And this is how it's supposed 0:35:58.320 --> 0:35:59.879 to be done. Because we don't do that, we don't 0:35:59.880 --> 0:36:03.879 know that. We're still you know with forever learning, right, Mandy, what. 0:36:03.880 --> 0:36:06.879 Our podcast should be called is figuring it the hell out. 0:36:07.920 --> 0:36:10.560 I would tune in immediately. Money and marriage is just 0:36:10.640 --> 0:36:15.080 like oh ew I mean like marriage is hard. Money 0:36:15.160 --> 0:36:17.520 is well for me. I love talking about money and 0:36:17.640 --> 0:36:19.920 marriage to me is a challenge. But it's almost like 0:36:20.760 --> 0:36:24.920 the two most conflicts, like the two most like emotionally 0:36:25.040 --> 0:36:27.759 charged topics in a relationship. I know we don't have 0:36:27.800 --> 0:36:29.279 a lot of time left. So I did want to 0:36:29.280 --> 0:36:33.759 ask y'all, just financially speaking in your relationship, what are 0:36:33.800 --> 0:36:36.280 some of the if you can, like pinpoint a couple 0:36:36.280 --> 0:36:39.120 of lessons to leave be a family with some gems on, 0:36:40.040 --> 0:36:42.239 you know, learning how to talk about money in your 0:36:42.280 --> 0:36:44.279 relationship and do that in a healthy way. 0:36:45.520 --> 0:36:49.319 Well. So money can be a love language to some, 0:36:49.440 --> 0:36:51.800 but it can also be the kiss of death for others. 0:36:51.840 --> 0:36:54.640 You have to understand how the other person grew up, right, 0:36:54.680 --> 0:36:57.520 And so some folks grow up where they just their 0:36:57.520 --> 0:36:59.759 family just doesn't talk money because it's a stress work 0:36:59.760 --> 0:37:02.200 because they don't have any you know, I don't everybody 0:37:02.280 --> 0:37:04.640 don't talk to me about it. I owe everybody, uh, 0:37:04.920 --> 0:37:07.600 And so it can cause a level of discomfort. It's 0:37:07.640 --> 0:37:09.920 also one of the top reasons. So it's not just 0:37:09.960 --> 0:37:13.200 stop marriage the stop relationships. It's one of the top 0:37:13.239 --> 0:37:18.360 reasons that relationships fail because you know of either financial 0:37:18.360 --> 0:37:22.759 infidelity or you know, feeling like the egg the yolk 0:37:22.960 --> 0:37:28.000 is unequally balanced, if you will, and resentment grows awful. 0:37:28.480 --> 0:37:33.839 So for us, it's about developing a love language that's 0:37:33.920 --> 0:37:37.600 comfortable for everyone around money so that you can grow together. 0:37:38.560 --> 0:37:40.759 So what does that look like I'm talking like bitcoin 0:37:41.120 --> 0:37:44.480 or like do you just mean you're talking like do 0:37:44.520 --> 0:37:46.680 you guys have schedule time to discuss. 0:37:47.200 --> 0:37:50.399 You know, let's we call it taking a seat at 0:37:50.400 --> 0:37:53.000 the table. So in our house, we you know, in 0:37:53.040 --> 0:37:56.080 our kitchen, we got this great, big table and all 0:37:56.080 --> 0:37:59.440 the bills we'll just laid out. Our financial plan will 0:37:59.440 --> 0:38:02.319 be laid out. What ever, we try to bring it 0:38:02.360 --> 0:38:05.160 to the table when one of us has a concern 0:38:06.000 --> 0:38:10.000 or has made an expenditure or done something the other questions. 0:38:10.040 --> 0:38:13.360 But we compartmentalize our lives in this way so that 0:38:14.000 --> 0:38:15.760 we know that when we show up to the table, 0:38:15.760 --> 0:38:18.640 this is what we're talking about. The conversation might get 0:38:18.640 --> 0:38:21.360 a little bit uncomfortable, but that's what we bring it 0:38:21.400 --> 0:38:24.319 to the table for. But then any other time we're 0:38:24.360 --> 0:38:26.439 not talking about that. Why because you know, we don't 0:38:26.440 --> 0:38:28.520 need to talk money all the time. But we don't 0:38:28.840 --> 0:38:31.319 the same page. If one of us passes away, what 0:38:31.440 --> 0:38:33.640 is the other one going to do? Have we made provision? 0:38:34.360 --> 0:38:37.120 You know? Do we have instruction? Have we thought about that? 0:38:37.440 --> 0:38:39.640 You know? If both of us leave this earth, what 0:38:39.760 --> 0:38:42.640 happens to our kids? You know, these are the conversations 0:38:42.920 --> 0:38:46.200 people are often not comfortable with having with the other 0:38:47.000 --> 0:38:48.600 just because it just feels very uh. 0:38:49.480 --> 0:38:52.080 But at the end of the night, it's like I'd 0:38:52.160 --> 0:38:55.200 much rather just sit down and binge watch old episodes 0:38:55.440 --> 0:38:58.920 of Living Single with you than sit here. And so 0:38:59.040 --> 0:39:01.440 you go for what's gone comfortable, like we're really going 0:39:01.480 --> 0:39:04.560 to spend the fifteen minutes we have. It takes it 0:39:04.600 --> 0:39:05.800 to a discipline. 0:39:05.600 --> 0:39:09.600 Comfortable with making more money, saving more money, or financial 0:39:09.719 --> 0:39:11.879 planning for the security of your family. You know, look, 0:39:11.880 --> 0:39:14.960 we're not financial advisors either. But as a matter of fact, 0:39:15.000 --> 0:39:17.359 I grew up my early part of my life we 0:39:17.360 --> 0:39:19.799 were on welfare. You know. My mom was eighteen when 0:39:19.840 --> 0:39:22.239 she had me, nineteen when she had my sister. And 0:39:22.320 --> 0:39:25.239 so if I can do it, if he can do it. 0:39:25.280 --> 0:39:27.440 He grew up with a single mind, no father. You know, 0:39:27.520 --> 0:39:29.839 he also grew up in the project. If he can 0:39:29.880 --> 0:39:33.080 do it, if we can do this, then anyone can. 0:39:33.360 --> 0:39:36.520 And it really is not rocket science, you know, it's 0:39:36.680 --> 0:39:39.560 just about being in the room, getting the information and 0:39:39.680 --> 0:39:40.080 using it. 0:39:40.239 --> 0:39:43.640 I would say this as well as a couple. And again, 0:39:43.719 --> 0:39:46.879 like you said, even beyond marriage before that is that 0:39:47.239 --> 0:39:50.239 understand that you don't know it all right, And be 0:39:50.320 --> 0:39:54.360 okay with that. It's okay to reach out to financial advisors. 0:39:54.400 --> 0:39:57.040 It's okay to reach out to an eldor or a 0:39:57.080 --> 0:39:59.560 mentor that can help you. Right, Because you don't want 0:39:59.560 --> 0:40:02.160 to sit there at the table or wherever you've made 0:40:02.239 --> 0:40:06.280 meet up and feel like you're either hiding things because 0:40:06.280 --> 0:40:07.840 you don't know it, or you just don't know it 0:40:07.880 --> 0:40:10.160 and you're being prideful and you don't want to say anything. 0:40:10.280 --> 0:40:12.960 So don't be afraid to reach out for those that 0:40:13.080 --> 0:40:13.960 know more than you. 0:40:15.200 --> 0:40:19.000 Yes, ma'am, I know what you're thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah 0:40:19.000 --> 0:40:25.000 again about that living single? So you know, so let 0:40:25.080 --> 0:40:26.320 me just approach you this way. 0:40:26.520 --> 0:40:27.040 Okay. 0:40:27.360 --> 0:40:29.080 This sex is so much better when you don't have 0:40:29.160 --> 0:40:30.279 to worry about finding. 0:40:31.719 --> 0:40:34.480 Just any sex and just the sex happens. It's probably 0:40:34.520 --> 0:40:45.560 like a direct relations, like a direct yeah one thing 0:40:45.600 --> 0:40:47.200 because I did have a thought, but now I done 0:40:47.200 --> 0:40:53.120 lost it. No, I wanted you to oh man, And 0:40:53.239 --> 0:40:54.640 the same way if I have a joke, I gotta 0:40:54.640 --> 0:40:57.520 say it, ah, damn it. 0:40:57.560 --> 0:40:58.000 What were you. 0:40:58.040 --> 0:41:02.279 Saying, mom, when you're talking about marriage? This is also 0:41:02.400 --> 0:41:07.719 like postpartum brain. Okay, whatever I was gonna reach out to? 0:41:09.000 --> 0:41:11.520 Oh right, Oh, thank you? Yes, I really want to 0:41:11.520 --> 0:41:13.719 ask I've been asking this of guesses. Tell me how 0:41:13.760 --> 0:41:15.600 you stack your money team, Like who's on the team, 0:41:15.600 --> 0:41:18.040 because you guys said that you know with your I 0:41:18.040 --> 0:41:19.880 don't know if it was your second or your third daughter. 0:41:20.520 --> 0:41:22.880 You you're you know, after going through that like not 0:41:22.960 --> 0:41:25.640 great couples therapy experience, that then you were like, we 0:41:25.640 --> 0:41:27.680 need to build a team of support around us. So 0:41:27.719 --> 0:41:29.200 can you can you talk a little bit about that? 0:41:29.239 --> 0:41:33.440 Because there is this missed I believe this misconception that 0:41:33.520 --> 0:41:36.319 it's just you two against the world when really you 0:41:36.400 --> 0:41:40.880 need Hopefully you're going to tell me that we need help, right, Okay. 0:41:40.920 --> 0:41:42.840 Have a lot of money, you don't. You don't have 0:41:42.920 --> 0:41:45.239 to have a lot of money to get a financial 0:41:45.239 --> 0:41:48.399 advisor or to build a team. You don't. You can 0:41:48.440 --> 0:41:50.880 start from where you are with what you have, and 0:41:51.120 --> 0:41:54.200 just what you really do need to do is develop discipline. 0:41:54.480 --> 0:41:56.480 But for us now, this phage, you're not phase in 0:41:56.480 --> 0:41:58.319 our life. What you what I recommend is you get 0:41:58.320 --> 0:42:02.160 a financial advisor. Make sure the reduciary. Here's a difference, fool. 0:42:02.239 --> 0:42:07.000 Yes you're speaking my language, work in our best interest, 0:42:07.400 --> 0:42:08.200 no commissions. 0:42:09.040 --> 0:42:13.600 Right, So you get yourself a conduciary financial advisor and manager. 0:42:13.840 --> 0:42:16.560 You also need an incredible CPA. That's important because it's 0:42:16.560 --> 0:42:18.680 not about how much you earn, it's about how much 0:42:18.680 --> 0:42:19.920 you do. 0:42:19.920 --> 0:42:24.440 Do you guys have the same CPA, Yes we do, okay, gotcha? 0:42:24.600 --> 0:42:28.399 And so you know, having a CPA that can help 0:42:28.440 --> 0:42:31.320 you leverage and keep and you know, use tax havens 0:42:31.719 --> 0:42:34.080 legal ways that the rich are not. You know, you 0:42:34.120 --> 0:42:36.200 want to know that even if you only make twenty dollars, 0:42:36.280 --> 0:42:38.120 how do you keep the whole twenty dollars? You know, 0:42:38.120 --> 0:42:40.560 when you hear about people who don't pay taxes, it's 0:42:40.600 --> 0:42:43.640 not that they're skirting it, but there literally are legal things, 0:42:43.680 --> 0:42:46.200 in legal ways and tax havens that will help you 0:42:46.680 --> 0:42:49.839 keep more money in your PODCET. The other thing is 0:42:50.000 --> 0:42:54.800 using insurance as a tool to grow wealth. Just because 0:42:54.840 --> 0:42:56.959 you don't have a million dollars in your life doesn't 0:42:57.040 --> 0:42:59.759 mean that you can't ensure that if you need that. 0:42:59.800 --> 0:43:02.759 You're significant other or your children don't have it. You know, 0:43:02.800 --> 0:43:04.680 when you're gone, just don't tell them that that you're 0:43:04.719 --> 0:43:05.319 better off there. 0:43:06.120 --> 0:43:12.359 And then so life insurance okay, gotcha? Okay, yeah, you know. 0:43:12.400 --> 0:43:16.239 Build your your financial dream team if you will. But 0:43:16.400 --> 0:43:18.400 those are just three to have on your team. A 0:43:18.440 --> 0:43:21.960 good insurance person, you know, a great CPA, and a 0:43:22.000 --> 0:43:23.080 good produciary. 0:43:23.880 --> 0:43:26.040 But what about with like the day to day duties 0:43:26.040 --> 0:43:29.799 and things that for us as a couple, it's just like, 0:43:30.320 --> 0:43:32.200 do we need to be doing the on ourselves? Do 0:43:32.239 --> 0:43:34.600 you guys spend a lot on like the domestic kind 0:43:34.640 --> 0:43:37.640 of help. Do you spend on extra childcare, nannies, tutors. 0:43:38.760 --> 0:43:40.560 That's exactly where I was getting ready to go because 0:43:40.560 --> 0:43:42.839 a lot of people are like, yeah, financial sounds good, 0:43:42.840 --> 0:43:44.239 but I can't even afford to get out of the 0:43:44.280 --> 0:43:47.360 house because I have kids. Right. So we also have 0:43:48.360 --> 0:43:52.560 an amazing support system. I mean when we moved here, 0:43:52.920 --> 0:43:55.480 several of my family members moved here, including my mother 0:43:55.800 --> 0:43:58.799 right away. It's not right away, but they we do 0:43:58.880 --> 0:44:02.239 tend to suck amenda we're doing, and they understood that 0:44:02.400 --> 0:44:05.160 they don't need some help. So we are only able 0:44:05.200 --> 0:44:07.080 to do all that we do because we do it 0:44:07.120 --> 0:44:11.759 in peace, understanding that the girls are fully safe and 0:44:12.320 --> 0:44:15.640 okay those who raised us exactly, So we have that 0:44:16.680 --> 0:44:19.520 around the house. Yes, we have the landscape or we 0:44:19.600 --> 0:44:22.480 have the pool guy. We have people that allow us 0:44:22.520 --> 0:44:26.040 to be able to again, be creative, go out and 0:44:26.120 --> 0:44:28.239 break the deals and get the deals. Otherwise it just 0:44:28.239 --> 0:44:28.839 wouldn't work. 0:44:28.960 --> 0:44:31.719 However, I recognize what you're saying. Man, you know there's 0:44:31.760 --> 0:44:34.200 folks watching who don't even have family. We don't have 0:44:34.280 --> 0:44:37.440 that support. And so again, how do you start where 0:44:37.480 --> 0:44:40.920 you are? And the reality is, if nothing else when, 0:44:40.960 --> 0:44:43.960 then we are resourceful? Right we are? We are resourceful. 0:44:44.080 --> 0:44:48.279 And so there are home pods, there are networks of 0:44:48.520 --> 0:44:51.359 single mothers, there are networks of you know, mothers out 0:44:51.360 --> 0:44:54.000 there trying to get their life that if you team up, 0:44:54.080 --> 0:44:57.200 maybe maybe you can't afford a nanny by yourself, but 0:44:57.280 --> 0:44:59.920 maybe if you and two other or three of the 0:45:00.080 --> 0:45:02.480 or stay at home moms or mothers who want to 0:45:02.480 --> 0:45:06.320 get back out into the work sphere team up together together, 0:45:06.680 --> 0:45:09.160 you can afford a full time nanny. Right. And it's 0:45:09.200 --> 0:45:10.759 just a matter of whose house or the kid's gonna 0:45:10.760 --> 0:45:12.719 be at this week? Go who's you know, where's the 0:45:12.760 --> 0:45:14.839 people to watch the kids? Which is the safest house, 0:45:14.840 --> 0:45:18.200 which is centrally located. But then together again, that's what 0:45:18.320 --> 0:45:19.759 I say. We can do a lot on our own, 0:45:19.760 --> 0:45:22.239 but we can do so much more together. Don't be 0:45:22.320 --> 0:45:25.200 afraid to ask for help, and I do believe it's 0:45:25.239 --> 0:45:29.080 called the Brown Ambition Podcast. I do believe as Brown women, 0:45:29.440 --> 0:45:31.239 we often think that we have to wear an s 0:45:31.320 --> 0:45:33.440 on our chest and be all things to all people, 0:45:33.760 --> 0:45:36.279 and that it's all almost blasphemy when we say I 0:45:36.280 --> 0:45:38.319 can't do it or I need help, and we have 0:45:38.400 --> 0:45:40.879 to stop that, you know, we just have to stop 0:45:40.920 --> 0:45:44.200 that because it's unrealistic expectations for us to live up to, 0:45:44.440 --> 0:45:46.680 which is why mental health issues are at an. 0:45:46.600 --> 0:45:47.279 All time high. 0:45:47.760 --> 0:45:51.480 So if you need help, if you need resources, guess 0:45:51.520 --> 0:45:53.319 what we have so much at our fingertips that you 0:45:53.360 --> 0:45:55.640 can find a support group. You can find a Facebook 0:45:55.680 --> 0:45:58.520 page or Facebook group of people just like you feeling 0:45:58.520 --> 0:46:01.439 the same and asked for the help. 0:46:02.080 --> 0:46:04.320 You do research on them. You can't trust everybody. 0:46:04.400 --> 0:46:09.960 Yeah, well yeah, right before the end, we know. I 0:46:09.960 --> 0:46:12.840 think that's beautiful. I have what I call a sister wife, 0:46:12.920 --> 0:46:15.239 only you know, not the weird husband part, but just 0:46:15.360 --> 0:46:18.840 she and I together, and I told her, I'm like, 0:46:18.880 --> 0:46:20.560 every Sunday we need to have a talk. What do 0:46:20.600 --> 0:46:23.080 you need? What do you need? What deadlines are at school? 0:46:23.320 --> 0:46:26.560 Did I forget about? I just love that message. I 0:46:26.920 --> 0:46:29.160 hate that you have to go but it's been so 0:46:29.200 --> 0:46:31.319 wonderful to get to know y'all. Thanks for sharing your 0:46:31.360 --> 0:46:35.120 light with me and such great vibes and giving me 0:46:36.160 --> 0:46:38.479 just all these gems. Oh yeah in the b BA fam, 0:46:38.560 --> 0:46:43.400 not just me, but thank you so much for the gems. 0:46:44.600 --> 0:46:46.200 Get your son some pants. 0:46:47.120 --> 0:46:50.000 I sent him with pants. They were in the bag. 0:46:51.440 --> 0:46:54.239 They were I had an idea, you know, I had 0:46:54.320 --> 0:46:58.000 ideas of clothing for him, like just the yeah, yeah, yeah, 0:46:58.080 --> 0:47:00.960 it's it's fine. Where can people find y'all? Where can 0:47:01.000 --> 0:47:03.640 we listen to I'm assuming Marriage and Money is wherever 0:47:03.680 --> 0:47:05.560 you can get your podcast, including this one. If you're 0:47:05.560 --> 0:47:08.919 listening to BA, just go ahead click over, download their show, 0:47:08.960 --> 0:47:11.600 make sure you follow it, leave a review, right, I 0:47:12.200 --> 0:47:12.719 know how it is. 0:47:13.000 --> 0:47:15.680 Look Egypt and Maje on YouTube all days Egypt and 0:47:15.760 --> 0:47:20.080 Mike Wednesday nights, eight Eastern, seventh Central, you can watch 0:47:20.360 --> 0:47:22.600 Marriage and Real Estate. You can also stream it our 0:47:22.680 --> 0:47:27.000 stream on Max as well, and then Indigo Road our 0:47:27.000 --> 0:47:30.000 home furnishing line. You'll see it in stores next month. 0:47:30.040 --> 0:47:33.440 We're gonna be in more than three hundred. Jason Plenis stop. 0:47:33.520 --> 0:47:39.919 Really we didn't even talk congratulations. 0:47:38.000 --> 0:47:39.600 On our side. 0:47:39.840 --> 0:47:41.239 I love that name Indigo Road. 0:47:41.239 --> 0:47:41.520 We didn't. 0:47:41.560 --> 0:47:43.239 We could have talked for hours. You gotta come back, 0:47:43.239 --> 0:47:46.319 will you come back? I just signed with iHeart and 0:47:46.320 --> 0:47:48.440 they have a studio in New York and Atlanta. So 0:47:48.480 --> 0:47:50.800 maybe the next time I'm in Atlanta. 0:47:51.239 --> 0:47:52.520 Come see you in person. 0:47:52.640 --> 0:47:57.279 Thank you all right, thank you all so much. Well here, 0:47:57.320 --> 0:47:59.520 you can do that what I. 0:47:59.520 --> 0:48:01.520 Used to say on the stupid make extra money. That 0:48:01.600 --> 0:48:04.240 was my first real business. 0:48:06.360 --> 0:48:07.280 That's so sweet. 0:48:07.320 --> 0:48:07.560 Thank you. 0:48:07.600 --> 0:48:08.880 I'm gonna take you up on that. Don't be a 0:48:08.920 --> 0:48:14.719 surprise like that would be amazing. Okay, y'all gotta go, 0:48:14.880 --> 0:48:19.080 you're busy, Okay, va fam thank you so much for 0:48:19.200 --> 0:48:21.600 listening to this week's show. I want to shout out 0:48:21.640 --> 0:48:26.400 to our production team, Courtney, our editor, Carla, our fearless 0:48:26.480 --> 0:48:30.080 leader for idea to launch productions. I want to shout 0:48:30.080 --> 0:48:34.880 out my assistant Lauda Escalante and Cameron McNair for helping 0:48:34.920 --> 0:48:37.600 me put the show together. It is not a one 0:48:37.640 --> 0:48:40.799 person project, as much as I have tried to make 0:48:40.840 --> 0:48:44.000 it so these past ten years, I need help, y'all, 0:48:44.400 --> 0:48:46.640 and thank goodness I've been able to put this team 0:48:46.760 --> 0:48:49.520 around me to support me on this journey. And to 0:48:49.680 --> 0:48:52.120 y'all be a fam I love you so so so 0:48:52.120 --> 0:48:55.600 so much. Please rate, review, subscribe. Make sure your sign 0:48:55.719 --> 0:48:58.120 up to the newsletter to get all the latest updates 0:48:58.120 --> 0:49:02.759 on upcoming episodes. Are ten your anniversary celebrations to come, 0:49:03.400 --> 0:49:08.800 and until next time, talk to you soon, ba bye.