1 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,760 Speaker 1: I'm a homegrow that knows a little bit about everything 2 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: and everybody. You don't know if you don't lie about that. Right, Hey, y'all, 3 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: what's up. It's Lauren L Rosa and this is the 4 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: latest with Laura L. Rosa. This is your DELI dig 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,279 Speaker 1: on all things pop culture, entertainment, news, and all of 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: the conversations that shake the room. Baby. Now, today we 7 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:26,440 Speaker 1: are going to dive into an article that was honestly 8 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:29,960 Speaker 1: just released. As I was heading here to the podcast, 9 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: I saw that this article was released and a major 10 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: announcement about this celebrity was released. So we're going to 11 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: get into all things nia Along today. And for those 12 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 1: of you, I mean, if you're listening to this podcast, 13 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:44,400 Speaker 1: I don't know how you would be unfamiliar with nia Along. 14 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 1: But for those of you who are unfamiliar with nil honestly, 15 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,040 Speaker 1: I don't even want to do that because if you 16 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,160 Speaker 1: listen to this podcast and you're familiar with ni Along, 17 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,479 Speaker 1: the rock you live under is not my problem. We 18 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: are not going to do that today. So nia Along, 19 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 1: you know, actress, you know, just man like nia Along 20 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: is literally when I think I just saying actress to 21 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: me is a is an underscore is an undersell. I 22 00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 1: think when you talk about Nia Long and what her 23 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 1: career has been, Nia Long has been. I'll just speak 24 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: for me personally, like she is an actress, and you know, 25 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 1: I visually when I say actress, see all of the 26 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 1: roles that she has played on camera, from Boys in 27 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 1: the Hood to I mean even even like recent things 28 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 1: she's done, Like you know, there's a movie I forget 29 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: what is it called, It's it's about uh. I only 30 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:41,679 Speaker 1: remember her name in the movie CC Bloom because my 31 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,480 Speaker 1: best friend Sierra that's what her family calls her. Hold 32 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: on one second Beaches. Yes, so from Boys in the 33 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: Hood to I mean Fresh Prince of bel Air and 34 00:01:52,240 --> 00:01:54,520 Speaker 1: of course Love Jones. I mean it's Nia Along like 35 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: Love Jones. Like I just I literally just watched Beaches 36 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 1: again on Netflix. Ne Along remade the ninety I think 37 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,280 Speaker 1: it was an eighty film, the eighty film Beaches, and 38 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 1: she played CC Boom in the film. But I mean, 39 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: I just think of her as a nineties culture like architect, 40 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,799 Speaker 1: and I feel like with Neil Long and she talks 41 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: about it, We're going to get into an interview that 42 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 1: she did for the Cut magazine and the headline of 43 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 1: the article says, ne Along isn't romanticized in the past. 44 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 1: She'd rather live in the moment and lift up the 45 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:38,519 Speaker 1: next generation in Hollywood. And you know, I just think 46 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 1: about everything that Nia Long like stood for right as 47 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,639 Speaker 1: a black woman in television, just a woman, a powerful, 48 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: beautiful but like sexy, not afraid to say how she 49 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 1: feels and show a powerful woman in Hollywood. For me, 50 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,919 Speaker 1: just watching her and I think about, you know, down 51 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 1: to They just announced that she is going to be 52 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: Este Lauder's first ever an ambassador for North America exclusively, 53 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 1: which means she'll get to do like TV deals and 54 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: her TV campaigns and digital campaigns and all the things 55 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 1: for the brand. But I'm like, duh, Like Nia Long 56 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: not only is a person that I watched on camera 57 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 1: because she was great at playing these characters in these 58 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,560 Speaker 1: roles and storytelling and really just being the girl, you know, 59 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,679 Speaker 1: the girl next door and the girl from around the 60 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 1: way who was so smart. You know, I remember boys 61 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: in the hood. I always thought that it was so 62 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 1: fire that like she was the girl that was like 63 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 1: beautiful and she was like there and she's around, but 64 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 1: she's headed to college and her head is on street 65 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: and she's fly and she's sexy, and you know, I 66 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: think for a lot of us, you know, for me 67 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,440 Speaker 1: as a black woman looking at that on TV, it 68 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: was like, okay, cool, Like I'm growing up as a 69 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: girl around the way, but there's more to just my neighborhood. 70 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 1: But it's also okay for me to still be very 71 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,800 Speaker 1: intertwined and indulged and engulfed in my neighborhood. But when 72 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: it's and set away, it's time to step away. But 73 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,560 Speaker 1: also just being I mean, I don't know her beauty. 74 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:09,120 Speaker 1: To me, I'm like duh, Estay Louder and whoever else 75 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: cover girl, all the brands, right, But that came out 76 00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 1: today as well. So she did this interview with The 77 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,599 Speaker 1: Cut and they talk about, you know her and everything 78 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:20,400 Speaker 1: she's doing with Esday Louder, but then they also get 79 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:25,360 Speaker 1: into just what being a woman in her role has 80 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 1: meant for her. So she's speaking with The Cut and 81 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:30,720 Speaker 1: they just starn't really getting into her life. And one 82 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: of the things that is starting to go superviral already 83 00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: is one of the quotes from a part of the interview. 84 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:41,080 Speaker 1: So this part of the interview they're talking to today 85 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: along about balancing work and love, and she says, I 86 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,479 Speaker 1: don't think there's ever been a time in my life 87 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: where I was willing to give up my life to 88 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 1: be someone's wife or girlfriend ever period. And then she laughs. 89 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: She says, I don't care how difficult the journey has been. 90 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 1: I think you can have both. And she's talking about 91 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: the love and the career, which has always been a conversation, 92 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:06,040 Speaker 1: especially you know, I mean ni Al Long has been 93 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: in this game for a long time. Lean Long has kids. 94 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 1: Nia Long has been in a very public, you know, 95 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:16,000 Speaker 1: situation where her partner, I May, I May. I'm probably 96 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 1: saying his name wrong. I May, who was coaching for 97 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,839 Speaker 1: the Celtics, you know, at the time when all this 98 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 1: stuff was going down and there was the cheating allegations, 99 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,120 Speaker 1: and Neil Long like publicly, that's like finding out you 100 00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 1: got cheated cheated on when you at work and it's 101 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 1: like it's nothing you can do because you got to 102 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: finish the shift. But she's so pissed and your heart 103 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,479 Speaker 1: is broken. Nia Long would do some things publicly with 104 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 1: her youngest son's father. She has two sons. Her youngest 105 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: son's father, I May, I believe it's I May I may, 106 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:48,600 Speaker 1: I may, I may. If I'm saying it wrong, I apologize. 107 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 1: I say a lot of people's names wrong. My bad. 108 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: So okay, my bad. But yeah, so she's been doing 109 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:57,719 Speaker 1: a lot publicly. But you know, even before that, she 110 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,720 Speaker 1: had the career, she had the husban, been, she had 111 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: the family, all of the things. And she says, I 112 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,359 Speaker 1: never wanted to wake up in my thirties and forties 113 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 1: and say, well, what is the value of my life? 114 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 1: She says, Now, don't get me wrong, I my are 115 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 1: women who are committed to being stay at home wives 116 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 1: and running a house and raising the children. That's a job. 117 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,160 Speaker 1: But I also know that those children grow up, and 118 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,039 Speaker 1: when they grow up, whether you're working, whether you're a 119 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 1: working mom, a single mom, or stay at home mom, 120 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:27,120 Speaker 1: there's a moment that every woman feels like, Okay, now 121 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: it's time to recreate who I am. Now it's time 122 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 1: to tap into my passion because there's so much pouring out. 123 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 1: It's like to give or take. It's basically like, okay, 124 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,719 Speaker 1: now your cup is empty and you got to refeel it. 125 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 1: So you got to give back somewhere. She says, I 126 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,560 Speaker 1: just have never been willing to give up my career 127 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,320 Speaker 1: and my dreams and my aspirations for a man. I 128 00:06:45,320 --> 00:06:47,599 Speaker 1: think it's beautiful to have a partnership, but I don't 129 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:49,839 Speaker 1: need to be taken care of. It's nice to be treated, 130 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,280 Speaker 1: it's nice for a man to financially be giving. I 131 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: love all of that. I'm here for all of that, 132 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: and it's actually like a prerequisit right, Yes, girl, I am. 133 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: That's one of the biggest things I'm learning. It's nothing 134 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,479 Speaker 1: wrong with that being a prerequisite. The twenty twenty five 135 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,479 Speaker 1: and this whole list of where people won't eat and 136 00:07:06,520 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: will eat on the date. I ain't going to a 137 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: chain restaurant. All that will make you feel like having 138 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: prerequisites or things that you want when it comes to 139 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: finances is a bad thing as a woman, which is 140 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 1: crazy to me. You don't got to be you know. 141 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 1: I'm not the type that's like if my men don't 142 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: or can't, I won't. But you do want it, and 143 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: I want to be honest about the fact that I 144 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,720 Speaker 1: want that, So I love the Neolong said that. Here 145 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 1: she says, you got to come with all the presents, 146 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: she laughs, the offerings, The surprise is the trips. That's 147 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 1: the icing on the cake. That's where I get to 148 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,679 Speaker 1: be soft. That's where I get to be a girl's girl. 149 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, That's where I get to be a girly girl. 150 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: Felt feltic. So when I think about Neolong and I 151 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:49,800 Speaker 1: think about, you know, since the nineties, how long Neolong 152 00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: has been in this industry and been relevant in this industry. 153 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 1: I mean, the minute I think about ni Along, I 154 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:59,040 Speaker 1: think about the line short hair like Neolon, like her 155 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: beauty has been focus short hair, night like ne Along. 156 00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 1: People think of nineties, you know, beautiful brown skin, brown lip, 157 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:11,440 Speaker 1: brown glass, soul food, love Jones, the flipped up Bob. 158 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: Anytime I do short hair, brown lip, it's all even 159 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,440 Speaker 1: my shirt today, my shirt today. I don't know if 160 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 1: you guys can see it well because I'm sitting down, 161 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: but it's very much na Along soul Food inspired. When 162 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: I put this on today, I was like, oh, I 163 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,920 Speaker 1: just want to do brown lip, natural glow vibes very 164 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 1: much reminiscent of ne Along. Always an inspo. But it's 165 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 1: not just about her look. I think it's always for 166 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: a lot of us, you know, women that are trying 167 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:42,000 Speaker 1: to figure this out. We model and or we model 168 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,240 Speaker 1: and we look at women who seem like they have 169 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 1: it all figured out, And I say, I say it 170 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: seem like not as a knock to what Neilong may 171 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: have or may not have figured out. But you know, 172 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:53,440 Speaker 1: I just know people always say I look like I 173 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: haven't figured out, but I don't not about me. But 174 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,679 Speaker 1: like she would probably I'm assuming she would probably say 175 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,959 Speaker 1: that because everybody, and she said in this article when 176 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,920 Speaker 1: she talks about co parents and having to figure out 177 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: her situation after that very public separation that we talked about, 178 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 1: nobody has it all figured out, but eventually you get 179 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 1: to a place of peace and understanding. And for n 180 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,959 Speaker 1: a long and looking at her career in the way 181 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 1: that people have regarded her as a nineties beauty and 182 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 1: all the things that's something to aspire to. I think 183 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,319 Speaker 1: the way that people talk about you, in my opinion, 184 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:28,400 Speaker 1: in this industry carries you in how you are or 185 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,719 Speaker 1: how you are perceived when you walk in before you're 186 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: able to open your mouth and do so. And I think, 187 00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:35,440 Speaker 1: if you know nothing else about Nia Long, you know 188 00:09:35,520 --> 00:09:37,439 Speaker 1: she is gorgeous. You know she has had some of 189 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 1: the most iconic roles. She's been one of the most 190 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 1: impactful and iconic black faces actress wise, you know since 191 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 1: the nineties, and you know that there are generations of women, 192 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,760 Speaker 1: especially US brown skinned girls that have looked at nia 193 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:54,320 Speaker 1: Along for inspo. So we're we're not just doing it 194 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,360 Speaker 1: because of beauty. It's like, Okay, she getting money, she 195 00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:01,679 Speaker 1: looks good. The family unit is, they're just all the things. 196 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,720 Speaker 1: And I think we saw a lot of how people 197 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:09,560 Speaker 1: regard Nia Long when the situation with her ex in, 198 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:13,760 Speaker 1: her child's father, her youngest child's father, happened. Because when 199 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:17,199 Speaker 1: everything came out, you know about the allegations that were 200 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,959 Speaker 1: being thrown his way, and in real time, Nia Long 201 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 1: was being put in conversations of what was done to 202 00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:27,959 Speaker 1: her and her relationship as far as you know, his infidelity, 203 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: his alleged infidelity. The world came out swinging like don't 204 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,640 Speaker 1: play with her like that. We not don't play with 205 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 1: our girl like that. And also Nia Long has talked 206 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:38,680 Speaker 1: about I remember she did to sit down with Jeezi 207 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 1: and she talked about how she didn't feel protected in 208 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,560 Speaker 1: that situation and not by us. Because again we the 209 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,240 Speaker 1: people came out swinging for n Along, like why is 210 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:53,040 Speaker 1: this even a public conversation, Why is this being leaked 211 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: to press into media at all, but she said she 212 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 1: felt she didn't feel protect or that the necessary steps 213 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 1: were taken by the organization he was working with at 214 00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:08,200 Speaker 1: the time and just people involved to protect her in 215 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:11,040 Speaker 1: their situation in the the you know, the fact that 216 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: a lot of this should have remained anonymous, But we 217 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:25,960 Speaker 1: move on. She also talks about co parenting in this article. 218 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 1: And to my surprise, because I'm be honest with y'all, 219 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,800 Speaker 1: if I was knee along and I had to go 220 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 1: through what she had to go through. Because she's a 221 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:36,240 Speaker 1: public figure and this was you know you're talking about. 222 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:39,600 Speaker 1: You know, he's a coach for the Celtics at the time, 223 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,439 Speaker 1: and it's a very high profile situation, it would be 224 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: a bit hard for me to figure out co parenting 225 00:11:45,679 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 1: in the way she's describing in this article. I get it, 226 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:50,720 Speaker 1: they have kids and they gotta figure it out, but 227 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 1: I think I don't know. There would just be a 228 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 1: level of hurt and distrust that I don't know I 229 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,360 Speaker 1: would be able to as easily get over. But maybe 230 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,199 Speaker 1: it's different when you got kids. I don't have kids, Yeah, 231 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 1: but she says. Neilong says, this summer I travel with 232 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: my youngest son and my ex. Emay, we had a 233 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 1: great time. And that's what I mean by I don't 234 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,319 Speaker 1: know if I could get to this point where y'all 235 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,800 Speaker 1: are seeing us out in public traveling together. You know, 236 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 1: we've shown up at like basketball, soccer ball, soccer ball, 237 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:20,160 Speaker 1: basketball soccer games together. That's one thing that's easy to say, Okay, 238 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:23,160 Speaker 1: they're both here because of like whatever, but traveling on 239 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: trips together. Her kid can easily go with his father 240 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,839 Speaker 1: and take that same trip. It's a very big step 241 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,440 Speaker 1: for you guys to be doing that together, she says. 242 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: This summer, I travel with my youngest son and my ex. 243 00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: We had a great time. I've never walked that much 244 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,680 Speaker 1: in my life, but it was really beautiful because we've 245 00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:43,920 Speaker 1: had a very public journey that has found its way 246 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 1: to peace and understanding, and there's a lot of mutual 247 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 1: respect that we have for each other. The most important 248 00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 1: gift you can give your kids is to heal your trauma. 249 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 1: And that's what I mean by Look, I don't have kids, 250 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 1: so me right now, I'm speaking from a place of 251 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 1: that trauma will still be sitting very deep at the 252 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,680 Speaker 1: top of my stomach, and every single time I would 253 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,679 Speaker 1: have to engage. It would just come up like that 254 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,520 Speaker 1: look that come up like the spirits in me. Okay, 255 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 1: it would hit me like the Holy ghost every single time. 256 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 1: I had to just see the person in real life. Anyway. 257 00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,840 Speaker 1: But listen, maybe kids give you a different sense of 258 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:20,000 Speaker 1: strength that I don't have yet, in a different sense 259 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,600 Speaker 1: of needing for peace, because I'm all here for peace. 260 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,199 Speaker 1: But my piece is I never have to see you 261 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:27,560 Speaker 1: again or talk to you. They don't have a choice here, 262 00:13:27,960 --> 00:13:30,200 Speaker 1: She says. I don't talk much about my personal life 263 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 1: because it's no one's business, but every now and then 264 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 1: people speculate on social media, and it's like me and 265 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,720 Speaker 1: Coach are good. I hope he wins. He deserves to win. 266 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,680 Speaker 1: He really, he's really great at what he does. We 267 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:46,079 Speaker 1: can have experiences with our son and make him the priority. 268 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,200 Speaker 1: They're still healing to be done and understanding to be had. 269 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: But the past is the past. And that's what I 270 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 1: think to me, is that is what is so like, 271 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 1: Oh my god, Lauren, you might need to grow up 272 00:13:56,640 --> 00:14:01,319 Speaker 1: like so remarkable and profound here because I can understand 273 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,080 Speaker 1: piece is piece. There's no issue. But I think that's 274 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: easier said than done when again, I don't have to 275 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: deal with anybody that I've dealt with in the past, 276 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,320 Speaker 1: I don't have to deal with them. We have no 277 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 1: strings attached, not a thing. Okay, love that for me, 278 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 1: Love it like I really. At this point, I don't 279 00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: even have an ex. I've never dated anybody besides the date, 280 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 1: but a person I'm dating right now. That is how 281 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,280 Speaker 1: I handle, you know, life at this point, and that 282 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: brings me peace. But it's a bit different here, especially too. 283 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: I think even if they didn't share a son together, 284 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,000 Speaker 1: it's a bit different because again, it was so high profile, 285 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 1: so you're always attached to that person once it's high 286 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 1: profile and it hits the media and it becomes a storyline. 287 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: She says, they're still healing. It needs to be done, 288 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 1: and I understanding to be had. But the past is 289 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,520 Speaker 1: the past. I'm not going to carry burthen some energy 290 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 1: with me because that just transfers to my children and 291 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,880 Speaker 1: it transfers to everything else in my life. I'm working 292 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 1: on menia, all right, I hear you speaking. I'm proud 293 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 1: of myself. I think we're proud of each other as parents, 294 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 1: and we're able to make this an annual thing. And 295 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 1: commit to these last sweet years of him being in 296 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,920 Speaker 1: grade school and high school before he goes off to college. 297 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 1: We're both going to be standing there and watching him graduate. 298 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 1: And I mean, I think this is the place that 299 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 1: you have to arrive to, especially with a kid grade 300 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 1: school ages that's a big kid. Your kid is on 301 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 1: social so your kid is hearing things, seeing things, and 302 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 1: even if your kid is not directly on social, their 303 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,520 Speaker 1: friends are. We just talked today at the Breakfast Club 304 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,280 Speaker 1: about Blue Ivy and when Blue Ivy was doing the 305 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,560 Speaker 1: Cowboy Carter tour. Y'all remember in the beginning of the tour, 306 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 1: people were, you know, having some things to say about 307 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 1: her dancing and her choreography, especially because I mean, Beyonce 308 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 1: is her mom. But Matthew Knows told Carlos King on 309 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: Reality with the King that social media was the reason 310 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,960 Speaker 1: that Blue Ivy went basically got in a gym. So 311 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 1: I think at this point, when you you have a 312 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,920 Speaker 1: kid that is this old and also too you know 313 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:05,920 Speaker 1: nia long and you know her ex were together for 314 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,480 Speaker 1: some time and they're just in different spaces a lot 315 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 1: more mature than I am, you don't have a choice 316 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 1: but to get to this place. And I think that 317 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,200 Speaker 1: it's important because you have so much going on day 318 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 1: to day. And don't get me wrong, I'm not harboring 319 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,560 Speaker 1: any bad feelings or ill will for anybody in my past. 320 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 1: I think I've gotten to a point too where I'm like, 321 00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,880 Speaker 1: I don't even know if these people deserve that energy, 322 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: but I don't interact with anyone. I think if I 323 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,640 Speaker 1: were to have to interact with any X that I 324 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: had any bad breakup situation with, honestly, like my my 325 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,280 Speaker 1: last situation, if I were to walk past him to 326 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:43,120 Speaker 1: day or tomorrow, it would be nothing like literally even 327 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,560 Speaker 1: if you were to speak and just be like, oh hey, 328 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 1: what's up. But it's taking time for me to get there. 329 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 1: And I've had the luxury of not having an interact 330 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 1: and just acting like he fell off the edge of 331 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 1: the earth because it's what I needed and I'm sure 332 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,960 Speaker 1: it's what he needed as well too. But I'd also 333 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 1: gotten to a place by the end of that where 334 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: like it wasn't like abrupt like it seems like me 335 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 1: a long situation with her ex and her child's or 336 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,879 Speaker 1: her youngest son's father was very like she didn't have 337 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,720 Speaker 1: a choice, Like it was like everything hit the news 338 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 1: and it was just like, Okay, is Nea Long gonna 339 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,679 Speaker 1: go back? Is she not gonna go back? And I 340 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,560 Speaker 1: think she did have a choice. Let me not say 341 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 1: that she did have a choice, but I think there 342 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,440 Speaker 1: is pressure when you know you got the whole world 343 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 1: and all these girls who are doing a short hair 344 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,720 Speaker 1: like Na Long and a brown lip line and looking 345 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: up to you about what are you gonna do in 346 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 1: this situation? And people forget that celebrities are only humans. 347 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,120 Speaker 1: So it's like you could take your baby father back 348 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 1: like ten eleven times, right, he don't come pick up 349 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,719 Speaker 1: the kids. He got about four or five baby mamas. 350 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 1: You arguing and fussing and fighting with all of them, 351 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 1: you can take them back. Cool the men in nia 352 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,960 Speaker 1: along decides to take in anybody back, or we get 353 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,040 Speaker 1: a photo of them on this vacation and it's picked 354 00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:52,720 Speaker 1: up the wrong way as if they might be trying 355 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 1: to figure things out. Baby you the same person in 356 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,879 Speaker 1: the comments like I cannot believe her. She is a 357 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: role model for black people. Forget that celebrities are human. 358 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,639 Speaker 1: But I mean Neolong stood in where she stood in, 359 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 1: and I think that's always been one of the things. Again, 360 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 1: that you know you look at people when you admire 361 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,880 Speaker 1: about them. It's like it seems Neia don't take no shit, 362 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 1: is what it seems like, and be it as it may. 363 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,640 Speaker 1: She's grown up in an industry where she can't, so 364 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 1: that goes into so many other parts of her life. 365 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 1: She continues to say, I talk about my kids a 366 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 1: lot because they take up so much space in my 367 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,520 Speaker 1: life and my heart. Everything I do is for them. 368 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 1: I'm not a perfect mother. I've made any mistakes. My 369 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 1: kids have seen me go through it. But that's the 370 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:36,360 Speaker 1: type of mother I am. If I'm pissed, everyone knows. See, 371 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: that's so crazy that I said that. I hadn't even 372 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:41,560 Speaker 1: read this paragraph in prep for today's episode. I just 373 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 1: I've never met Nia long, but just from watching her 374 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:49,040 Speaker 1: in interviews and how she's navigated her career in her 375 00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:53,720 Speaker 1: characters too, and I like in her characters. But I 376 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,399 Speaker 1: think it gets to a certain point where you know, 377 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,760 Speaker 1: when you're in a certain part of your career, you 378 00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 1: get to pick and choose kind of what you're playing 379 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,320 Speaker 1: and why you're playing it, and you know you're very 380 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,879 Speaker 1: mindful about what you're picking. And she's been able to 381 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,119 Speaker 1: craft almost like a brand or a conversation for herself 382 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:17,879 Speaker 1: through her characters. Now, this next part of the article, 383 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,879 Speaker 1: and we're going to end here because I want to 384 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,880 Speaker 1: open it up for conversation from you guys. This next 385 00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 1: part of the article hit me very close to home. 386 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,600 Speaker 1: So they talk to me along about being in her thirties, 387 00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,240 Speaker 1: and then they talk to me along about being in 388 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:34,600 Speaker 1: her fifties. So she says, your thirties are time to 389 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,720 Speaker 1: experience everything around you, so that by the time you 390 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,320 Speaker 1: get to the age where you decide I want to 391 00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:40,439 Speaker 1: get married or I want to have kids, or I 392 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 1: don't want to get married, but I still want to 393 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 1: have children, you've been open enough to have these experiences 394 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:50,360 Speaker 1: to narrow down your purpose. I think thirty is definitely 395 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,440 Speaker 1: the time where you start thinking purpose, Like you think 396 00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: you know purpose and you think you know, Oh my God, 397 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,920 Speaker 1: this is why God put me here and the world 398 00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:00,400 Speaker 1: deserves to get this version of me. No, I think 399 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 1: thirty is where you at least. I don't think you 400 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,600 Speaker 1: get it fully in your thirties, but I think you 401 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:05,800 Speaker 1: start thinking about it in a real way and things 402 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,959 Speaker 1: start hitting you differently, especially if you're coming into your 403 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,200 Speaker 1: thirties with kids or thinking about half them. She says, 404 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 1: when I was thirty, I was like, and I'm thirty three. 405 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 1: That's why it just hit me so close to home. 406 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,040 Speaker 1: She says, When I was thirty, I was like, Okay, 407 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,080 Speaker 1: I want to have my first child by thirty. I 408 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:20,919 Speaker 1: thought I was going to have my first child at 409 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,600 Speaker 1: twenty five, like that was always my thing before I 410 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,639 Speaker 1: got to college. When I got to college, I was like, 411 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,560 Speaker 1: twenty five is not happening. Okay, I need my years 412 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,960 Speaker 1: back that I just spent in college. We're gonna look 413 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 1: at thirty five. Now I'm thirty three, and I'm like, 414 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:37,200 Speaker 1: oh god. She says. When I was thirty, I was like, Okay, 415 00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:39,199 Speaker 1: I want to have my first child by thirty. And 416 00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,640 Speaker 1: it was always weird because I never said I wanted 417 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:44,760 Speaker 1: to be married. Marriage was secondary because I felt if 418 00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:46,960 Speaker 1: it was meant to be, that would happen. I had 419 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,600 Speaker 1: my first child at thirty and my second one at forty. 420 00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,760 Speaker 1: I was so hyper focused on surviving that I probably 421 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:55,359 Speaker 1: should have had more fun. So I think there's a 422 00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:59,320 Speaker 1: healthy balance between being intentional about your focus, your passion 423 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 1: into just say fuck it and have fun. You're gonna 424 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,680 Speaker 1: have plenty of years to grind it out. That part 425 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 1: hit me because one of my biggest things right now is, 426 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:13,159 Speaker 1: you know, I'm open to the idea of beginning to 427 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 1: plan having my children. I don't want to have children 428 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 1: right now. This is not the time. I think. I'm 429 00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,720 Speaker 1: just beginning to build like foundation in a real way 430 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,080 Speaker 1: for myself career wise, and that's very important for me 431 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,320 Speaker 1: to I know it won't be all figured out, but 432 00:21:27,359 --> 00:21:30,920 Speaker 1: I do want a certain foundation before I have my kids. 433 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,560 Speaker 1: But when she said she at one point was planning 434 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 1: her children, and she was just like, you know, if 435 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,879 Speaker 1: marriage happens, it happens. I want to be married. I 436 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,240 Speaker 1: want the family dynamic. That is something I've always said, 437 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:45,600 Speaker 1: but I realized this year that I've been even though 438 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,960 Speaker 1: I've always said that. And a big part of that 439 00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: is because I didn't grow up with my father in 440 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 1: my house. I met my dad when I was like thirteen. 441 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,159 Speaker 1: I can pick up the phone and call Umn. He 442 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,560 Speaker 1: may or he may not answer. It depends on what 443 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,880 Speaker 1: he's going through that day. And if he answers, how 444 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:04,400 Speaker 1: well our conversation goes depends on him his energy that day. 445 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 1: And I mean my dad watches and listens to everything 446 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,560 Speaker 1: gets upset when I say things like that. But it's 447 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,679 Speaker 1: the honest truth and the reason why I bring that up. 448 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 1: It's not a stab at him. It's just that I 449 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:18,560 Speaker 1: realized this year has created an idea in my mind 450 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:21,600 Speaker 1: of like, Okay, I want to be married and I 451 00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 1: want the family dynamic because it's not what I had 452 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,960 Speaker 1: traditionally in my house. My brother's dad was around, I 453 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,800 Speaker 1: have a lot of uncles and like all of that, 454 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 1: so I was straight. I never knew I needed for 455 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,200 Speaker 1: a man in the household until I met people who 456 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:38,200 Speaker 1: had their dads in their house. But it's so it's 457 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,879 Speaker 1: created this idea that, yes, I want all of this 458 00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:43,399 Speaker 1: stuff because I didn't have it, and I know it's needed, 459 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:48,639 Speaker 1: but I don't even really know why, like like what 460 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:51,520 Speaker 1: is the need? Like like why am I saying that? 461 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:55,119 Speaker 1: Like I'm saying it because traditionally that's what's supposed to happen. 462 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 1: But I think this past so not this past summer. 463 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 1: It was the summer prior to that about yeah, the 464 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,080 Speaker 1: summer when I came home from LA and I was 465 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,440 Speaker 1: in transition, so it was, you know, I had done 466 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 1: a little bit of a guest host in twenty twenty 467 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,480 Speaker 1: three breakfast Club. That was the first time that me 468 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 1: and my dad spent like actual real time together because 469 00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:15,879 Speaker 1: he was helping me renovate an event space that I 470 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,080 Speaker 1: had at the time. And I remember one day we 471 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,320 Speaker 1: were on the phone with a contractors or it was 472 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 1: like a painting company. It was a painting company, like 473 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: a paint store. And my dad has an interior decorating 474 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,560 Speaker 1: business that's painting and all the things, so that's why 475 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,879 Speaker 1: he was there helping me. And there were two conversations actually, 476 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,600 Speaker 1: so this is the first one. So I was on 477 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,160 Speaker 1: the phone with the paint store and I'm talking through 478 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:38,359 Speaker 1: things and he's telling me what to say, and I 479 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,320 Speaker 1: think I said something wrong or like they told me 480 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,440 Speaker 1: they didn't have something that like it didn't make sense 481 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:44,840 Speaker 1: for them not to have, and he took the phone 482 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 1: and the way that they talked to him, it was 483 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,159 Speaker 1: a guy on the phone, the way that he talked 484 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 1: to my dad, and just I don't know the level 485 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 1: of understanding that happened in the conversation instantly because a 486 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,719 Speaker 1: man got in the phone, got on the phone and 487 00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:00,600 Speaker 1: kind of just like took over and I was able 488 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:05,359 Speaker 1: to sit back. I remember literally the feeling of like, oh, 489 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,919 Speaker 1: this is what having a dad around is like. And 490 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,399 Speaker 1: for like, I literally remember that, and that's something as 491 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,879 Speaker 1: small as like ordering paint from a paint store, but 492 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 1: I just remember the reassurance of like my dad got it, 493 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 1: and like the reassurance of oh, a man is here. 494 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,560 Speaker 1: So it feels like like there's like a safer space 495 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,560 Speaker 1: or like a you know, like I never felt that before, 496 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,520 Speaker 1: so I didn't really understand because it's different when it's 497 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,879 Speaker 1: your father versus like, you know, my brother's dad, and 498 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,200 Speaker 1: even that him and my mom weren't together getting too personal. 499 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,680 Speaker 1: My whole point is is that when I read this 500 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:42,760 Speaker 1: from Nia Long, I realized that when she says and 501 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 1: it was always weird because I never said I wanted 502 00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: to be married. That's different for me. I've always said 503 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 1: I wanted to be married, but she says marriage was 504 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,199 Speaker 1: secondary because I felt if it was meant to be, 505 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,200 Speaker 1: that would happen. I think, in my mind, I'm saying 506 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,760 Speaker 1: this is what I want, but my actions I was 507 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 1: moving like, I mean, I can deal with whoever, even 508 00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,920 Speaker 1: if I don't see my forever or this being the 509 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:09,560 Speaker 1: father of my children, because that's just gonna find me 510 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 1: like the great man who's the father of my children, 511 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:15,399 Speaker 1: but not just the father of my children, but my 512 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,040 Speaker 1: life partner and my husband. Oh, that'll just find me. 513 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 1: I don't need to be intentional, because it'll just snap 514 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 1: into or it'll just happen. No. I got to a 515 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 1: certain point being single and being in my thirties and 516 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:31,320 Speaker 1: really starting to like think through what I want my 517 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:34,439 Speaker 1: like this thing over here on the left of me 518 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:37,600 Speaker 1: that I'm saying I want like marriage and children, and like, 519 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,960 Speaker 1: I don't just want a man in my house and 520 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,160 Speaker 1: to be married because I didn't see that. I want 521 00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,080 Speaker 1: a real life partner. I want my kids to see 522 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:47,320 Speaker 1: me happy. I want my kids to see me working 523 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,399 Speaker 1: through things and it actually working out when I'm not happy. 524 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 1: I want my kids to see me being respected, valued, 525 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,359 Speaker 1: and I want my kids to see me doing that 526 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,359 Speaker 1: to someone as well. And I, oh, my god, Like 527 00:25:59,400 --> 00:26:04,600 Speaker 1: this past year has just been Oh, even the way 528 00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:08,240 Speaker 1: I speak about kids, I say my kids, and I've 529 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,879 Speaker 1: had to learn how to be like our kids and 530 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,239 Speaker 1: our because in my mind marriage and all that, it 531 00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: was just like I'm gonna do that because it hasn't 532 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 1: been done. And then I haven't seen it, not because 533 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,600 Speaker 1: I truly felt like I was ever gonna find a 534 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,640 Speaker 1: person that was my actual like, Okay, this is my partner, 535 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:28,480 Speaker 1: we're equally yoked. This is what my children need, not 536 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 1: just this is what I want for them. That whole 537 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,960 Speaker 1: little line right there, Oh, it's just gonna happen. It'll 538 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,960 Speaker 1: just fall in the place. Felt that, And that's where 539 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,840 Speaker 1: I was up until this year thirty three. And then 540 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,119 Speaker 1: she compares it to her her fifties, and she says, 541 00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:46,359 Speaker 1: I'm turning fifty five this year. My sixties are around 542 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 1: the corner. It sounds crazy to me, but I still 543 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 1: feel like I'm in my thirties. I felt smarter, I 544 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:53,040 Speaker 1: feel safe. I've practiced a lot of forgiveness over the 545 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,399 Speaker 1: past couple of years. Most of my relationships are in 546 00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,160 Speaker 1: a really good place. And I did it for myself. 547 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,800 Speaker 1: I didn't do it for anyone else. Don't get me wrong. 548 00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:02,200 Speaker 1: There are days that I want to go in we 549 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,840 Speaker 1: all have that. But when I feel that pressure or 550 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,040 Speaker 1: that angst, or that anxiety, or that need to have 551 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,720 Speaker 1: a deeper understanding of something or someone, I tend to 552 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 1: get quiet and think about what I'm going through rather 553 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,160 Speaker 1: than whatever the outside circumstance is, and then you can 554 00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,600 Speaker 1: approach things differently. I'm not in my fifties, but I 555 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,400 Speaker 1: feel like I've begin to do that a bit differently. 556 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,640 Speaker 1: And maybe it's too it's because of like Nia Long 557 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:29,120 Speaker 1: has been famous and has been had platform and success 558 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,000 Speaker 1: in a public eye for a really long time. Everything's 559 00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 1: just starting for me, like and I'm such a I'm like, 560 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:38,199 Speaker 1: you know, small fish, huge pond on this platform that 561 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,439 Speaker 1: is like, you know, elevating things every single day for me. 562 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,720 Speaker 1: So I'm beginning to think about how I deal with things, 563 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:49,040 Speaker 1: how I respond to things, so much more and so 564 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 1: differently than how I've ever been because my only thought is, 565 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 1: you can't f this up. This is your shot. You 566 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:59,400 Speaker 1: cannot mess this up, and anything you do can has 567 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:02,120 Speaker 1: a chance to hear the public. You cannot mess this up. 568 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:05,560 Speaker 1: So I mean this article, and I didn't even fully 569 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 1: go through everything, but this article in reading about na 570 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 1: along and just you know, where her thinking is today, 571 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,600 Speaker 1: from where she's come from and where she's been and 572 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 1: where she's going. She talks about you know, she's dropping 573 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,639 Speaker 1: a memoir soon. She has a project coming up with 574 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,800 Speaker 1: Lorenz Tape. It was a great read. It was a 575 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:24,440 Speaker 1: great read, and I think you know here on the 576 00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,160 Speaker 1: last with Laurena Rose, I think one of the things 577 00:28:26,160 --> 00:28:29,240 Speaker 1: that it's beautiful is that we get to talk about 578 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 1: things in pop culture and in conversations, in conversation, but 579 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,800 Speaker 1: we get to really have a conversation. This was, you know, 580 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,600 Speaker 1: something that made me reflect. Would love for you guys 581 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:43,560 Speaker 1: to go read the article on the cut, the feature 582 00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 1: on Nia along, let me know what you guys think, 583 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,680 Speaker 1: Get in the comments, get in you know, the tweets. 584 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,520 Speaker 1: Take it to the streets and the tweets you call 585 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:55,920 Speaker 1: the truths. Be outside outside, wee outside outside. Every other page, 586 00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:00,200 Speaker 1: I want to hear from you guys, ladies especially like 587 00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,040 Speaker 1: the ladies. I would love to hear from you guys 588 00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:05,160 Speaker 1: because I think that conversation of like have it all. 589 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,160 Speaker 1: We're having it a lot more now and we see 590 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,320 Speaker 1: people who do it like I commend Cardi b I 591 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,880 Speaker 1: commend all of the women, Beyonce, all of the women 592 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 1: that are able to because it's not easy whatsoever, but 593 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,440 Speaker 1: it's scary. That is one of the things that I 594 00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:23,320 Speaker 1: am most scared of doing. Someone asked me a question, 595 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 1: what is the dream that you are scared of most 596 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 1: And I said becoming a mom. And I'm not scared 597 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 1: because I don't think I'll be a great mom. I'll adjust, 598 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:35,200 Speaker 1: I move in shake. You can take care of your 599 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,880 Speaker 1: mother and your grandmother because the older people get, the 600 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,200 Speaker 1: more you can't tell them nothing. If I can figure 601 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 1: that out, I can figure out a child, especially with 602 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:46,840 Speaker 1: a great partner on which I have. But the biggest 603 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 1: thing for me is how will it impact my career? 604 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 1: You know, you got to be fit, you gotta show 605 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:57,920 Speaker 1: it physically, mentally in ways like never before when you're 606 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 1: a woman on a platform and I'm new here, so 607 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 1: my girl, you only got one shot comes in to 608 00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,400 Speaker 1: thought so much when I think about when am I 609 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:13,840 Speaker 1: gonna have kids? I want kids, twins to start twin 610 00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,640 Speaker 1: girls and they're gonna be all over YouTube. But that's 611 00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,560 Speaker 1: a whole another story. But yes, like that's the that's 612 00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:21,520 Speaker 1: one of my biggest Like I'm scared. It's like I'm 613 00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 1: playing double dutch, like all right, when, all right? When? 614 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 1: Because I do want to plan it. I think my 615 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 1: career deserves a plane, a plan a bit. But I'm down, 616 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,200 Speaker 1: you know, if not playing. But I'm scared. So hearing 617 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 1: her talk about, you know, just the way she used 618 00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 1: to think about marriage, and you know she's okay with 619 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,800 Speaker 1: having a career while having the family, and she's always 620 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:42,160 Speaker 1: been that way, and she's always set out to be 621 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:45,480 Speaker 1: that way. It's encouraging to hear because it's tough. So, 622 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,960 Speaker 1: ladies in the streets, in the tweets, let me know 623 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:51,200 Speaker 1: what y'all think. Is anybody else out there scared like me? 624 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 1: Is this thing going? I'm the only one. Let's talk. 625 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,720 Speaker 1: At the end of the day, you guys could be 626 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,719 Speaker 1: anywhere with anybody having a conversation about all all these things, 627 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 1: but you choose to be right here with me, my lowriders, 628 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 1: and I appreciate you guys for that. I'm Laura l Rosa. 629 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 1: This is the latest with Laura l. Rosa, and I 630 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:12,600 Speaker 1: will see you guys in my next episode.