Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, what's going on? How's it how's it hanging?
Speaker 2: Ah?
Speaker 3: Pretty good, man. I was calling in to get some
Speaker 3: stuff off my chest. I believe you, and I am sorry.
Speaker 3: I'm a little bit nervous here.
Speaker 1: It's okay, man, it's okay. Tell me tell me what
Speaker 1: it is that you wanted to talk about today.
Speaker 3: Ah Man. So, I'm I'm addicted to the hookers, man, okay.
Speaker 3: And it's not just it's not just hookers, right, it's
Speaker 3: the idea of hitting it all, you know, Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 3: and I can and convincing them, you know, just some will,
Speaker 3: some won't, Some don't give a ship. Some are expensive,
Speaker 3: some are cheap, and it doesn't matter, you know. I'm
Speaker 3: just I'm I'm addicted to it, man.
Speaker 1: Okay. How how often are you seeing prostitutes?
Speaker 3: Man? As often as humanly possible, As long as I
Speaker 3: have the disposable income to do so, As long as
Speaker 3: my bills are paid pretty much, and foods in my mouth,
Speaker 3: pretty much, everything else is going to that become a
Speaker 3: hobby or a sport at this point.
Speaker 1: You know, how long have you been been doing this for?
Speaker 3: Ah man? So the whole doing it raw was in
Speaker 3: the past year or so, but I I've been seeing
Speaker 3: the hookers off and on for about six years now.
Speaker 3: For the most part, at first it was just the
Speaker 3: thrill of seeing a hooker, right, and then that wasn't
Speaker 3: enough anymore. The idea of being able to pay for
Speaker 3: something that you want without having to deal with the
Speaker 3: extra bullshit was fun to me, you know, a part
Speaker 3: of my language.
Speaker 1: Sorry m hm. And how often would you I know
Speaker 1: you said as often as you can, but like, you know, realistically,
Speaker 1: how often would you say you're you're visiting a prostitute?
Speaker 3: Anywhere between one to four times a week? Okay, it's
Speaker 3: almost never the same girl in the same state.
Speaker 1: How much money are you.
Speaker 3: This year alone? Probably about thirty to forty grand Okay.
Speaker 1: So, I mean, if we were to get into this here,
Speaker 1: what what kind of like need do you feel like
Speaker 1: you're trying to fill with these prostitutes.
Speaker 3: I mean, if you were to get into it, I
Speaker 3: don't really know.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 3: The excitement my day to day lacks, you know, because
Speaker 3: like I said, it's it's like a sport to me.
Speaker 3: It's something that excites me. When when it's somebody I've
Speaker 3: never met before, you know, it's a little stranger. It's
Speaker 3: that that that rush of meeting somebody new and doing
Speaker 3: the most primal thing a human being can do, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sure I could. I mean there's definitely like a
Speaker 1: you know, uh, some kind of a novelty dopamine chasing
Speaker 1: thing going on, for sure.
Speaker 3: But I'm.
Speaker 1: Now, what were you gonna say?
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, go ahead, sorry.
Speaker 1: Okay, now you said that you're you're chasing some kind
Speaker 1: of excitement that you feel like is not present in
Speaker 1: your life, right yeah, yeah, okay, tell me about tell
Speaker 1: me about your life outside of uh, outside of outside
Speaker 1: of your prostitute addiction. What do you what do you
Speaker 1: do on a daily basis? What is your life like? Ah?
Speaker 3: Man, So i work by myself right day in day out.
Speaker 3: I'm all alone from you know, sun up to sundown,
Speaker 3: and I'm stuck with my thoughts of previous previous endeavors,
Speaker 3: previous actions, you know, and you know, I get a
Speaker 3: chance to think a lot, and I think that's what
Speaker 3: that's what drives me to it so much, right is
Speaker 3: I'm left alone with my thoughts so much, no human
Speaker 3: interaction throughout the day. I need that little bit of
Speaker 3: extra excitement. I guess maybe it's boredom or possibly even
Speaker 3: just my addictive personality, you know.
Speaker 1: But yeah, yeah, you know, I think one of the
Speaker 1: things that you know, sex provides is like time, is
Speaker 1: that it's a very as you were talking about, as
Speaker 1: a very primal in the moment thing. You know, when
Speaker 1: you're having sex and you're you know, focused on someone's body,
Speaker 1: your you know, thoughts kind of dissipate and your you know,
Speaker 1: in your in your sex brain, and you're very focused
Speaker 1: on one particular thing. Uh, and you know, there can
Speaker 1: be an attractive notion and you can and you know,
Speaker 1: you could really say that about a lot of addicting things.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you could say that about you know, drugs
Speaker 1: and alcohol and video games and you know anything that
Speaker 1: you know, we use to take our minds off of,
Speaker 1: you know, the thoughts that we're trying to avoid. Go ahead,
Speaker 1: I was gonna say.
Speaker 3: The crazy part is I was able to give up
Speaker 3: the rest of that stuff, right Like I used to
Speaker 3: be addicted to, you know, all sorts of different things.
Speaker 3: I was addicted to drugs, I was addicted to cigarettes, this,
Speaker 3: that and the other, and I gave it all up,
Speaker 3: you know, for a good long time. And I'm still
Speaker 3: clean and sober to this day, and this is just
Speaker 3: a recent thing. It was like as soon as I
Speaker 3: started making good money, it was like I needed to
Speaker 3: spend it as fast as humanly possible, you know, because
Speaker 3: I'd been so poor for so long. You know, I
Speaker 3: found just a really good paying job, and you know,
Speaker 3: I guess that's where it all started. Right now.
Speaker 1: Is there a is this fulfilling and a thing for
Speaker 1: you that is that is purely sexual, that is purely about,
Speaker 1: you know, achieving a sexual gratification or is there an
Speaker 1: element here of trying to satisfy, you know, a need
Speaker 1: for intimacy.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say it's purely sexual, though I would say
Speaker 3: that it's a good portion. I mean, there is a
Speaker 3: bit of the intimacy factor that goes with it, you know,
Speaker 3: because like I said, I am alone all day blah
Speaker 3: blah blah, and you know, I'm alone from anywhere for
Speaker 3: a couple of weeks to a couple of months at
Speaker 3: a time when I'm working, So you know, it depends.
Speaker 3: But I would say a majority of it is the
Speaker 3: ideal of the primal just lizard brain in me, just
Speaker 3: I trying to copulate with as many female partners as
Speaker 3: humanly possible.
Speaker 1: M You said that you have like an addictive personality,
Speaker 1: so this is kind of like this, this kind of
Speaker 1: like excess and you know, never ending. You know, desire
Speaker 1: to be filled is something that's been like a constant
Speaker 1: throughout a lot of your life.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I would say so. You know, it started
Speaker 3: out with you know, cigarettes when I was young, super young,
Speaker 3: probably I don't know, nine ten years old. Started with cigarettes,
Speaker 3: and then it was weed, and then it was drinking
Speaker 3: and weed. Then it was you know, coke and ecstasy,
Speaker 3: and next thing I know, I'm homeless under a bridge
Speaker 3: shooting Crystal mess. You know, Okay, I lost everything.
Speaker 1: I love h and you're you're not homeless currently. You
Speaker 1: said that you have a job and you're making money.
Speaker 3: Now, Oh yeah, I make well over six figures. Now.
Speaker 3: I've got my life together. I've got a nice place,
Speaker 3: I'm fully furnished. I'm almost never home, but you know,
Speaker 3: I mean I got a really nice place for when
Speaker 3: I do get a chance to go home that I
Speaker 3: get to enjoy. And even through all of this, I'm
Speaker 3: still able to save money and set it aside to
Speaker 3: to be able to to save up and try and
Speaker 3: you know, do something for the future, investments, get a house,
Speaker 3: et cetera, et cetera. So that's.
Speaker 1: No, guy, go ahead. I wanted you to finish since.
Speaker 3: I guess that's the part that's what's making it so hard,
Speaker 3: right is I'm still able to manage everything on my
Speaker 3: day to day right, Like, it's not fucking up my
Speaker 3: life in any way, except for the fact that I
Speaker 3: caught chlamittee twice yeah this year, which is at the
Speaker 3: end of the day, not that big a deal. You
Speaker 3: take a couple of antibiotics and you're okay in a week, Yeah.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, So that was So that kind of leads
Speaker 1: into the question I was going to ask you, which
Speaker 1: is like, okay, so you have this you know, addiction
Speaker 1: to to seeing prostitutes. And it's a dude, it's a
Speaker 1: difficult thing when you have an addiction of some kind
Speaker 1: or a problem of some kind, but you don't but
Speaker 1: yet you're able to be functional and you know, you're
Speaker 1: you're making money, and you're you know, have all these
Speaker 1: aspects of your life that are going well. In spy
Speaker 1: of this problem that you have. It makes it really
Speaker 1: easy to go well, if all these other aspects of
Speaker 1: my life are going, well, is this problem even really
Speaker 1: a problem? And then that that, you know, kind of
Speaker 1: demotivates you in your uh, you know, desire to fix it.
Speaker 1: So I want to know, you know, from you, if
Speaker 1: you had to really think about it, and you know
Speaker 1: you called in to me and you wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about this, and you know you I can tell that
Speaker 1: you're identifying this as as a problem. What to you
Speaker 1: are the ways in which this is this is negatively
Speaker 1: impacting you.
Speaker 3: Ah, Man, I find myself putting me or I find
Speaker 3: I'm putting myself in risky positions even though I'm making
Speaker 3: good money right now, right like technically, hiring an escort
Speaker 3: or prostitute is illegal at the end of the day,
Speaker 3: right like that that could end up costing me my job.
Speaker 3: And it's it could, you know, it more than likely
Speaker 3: won't because of how safe I am. But you do
Speaker 3: anything enough, eventually you will get caught, you know. And
Speaker 3: it's one of those things. It's not it's not sustainable,
Speaker 3: right because one day I will make the wrong decision, right,
Speaker 3: one day I'll hook up with the wrong girl and
Speaker 3: maybe just maybe probably won't, but maybe I'll catch something
Speaker 3: that's incurable. But as it sits right now, with medical advances,
Speaker 3: if you take the right medicines, you can get vaccinated
Speaker 3: for almost every STD minus whoamydia, gone rhea and hepatitis
Speaker 3: C and uh, what is it? And well you you
Speaker 3: can you can take a pill to prevent HIV. Actually,
Speaker 3: as long as you're not sharing needles with somebody, you
Speaker 3: can take a pill day in and day out. And
Speaker 3: I've been on that pill this whole time.
Speaker 1: So okay, you've been on It's so. So things are okay.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: You haven't caught in any serious diseases, you haven't lost
Speaker 1: your job, you still have a nice place, you're still
Speaker 1: saving enough, it's not destroying you financially. But in your
Speaker 1: mind you're aware of the fact that this is not
Speaker 1: going to be sustainable forever, and that if you don't
Speaker 1: fix the issue now, you know that you're gonna wind
Speaker 1: up into some trouble later.
Speaker 3: Correct.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So what if anything, what if anything have
Speaker 1: you done to try to mitigate this or to try
Speaker 1: to fix this issue. It's okay if the answer is nothing.
Speaker 3: Not necessarily nothing. I've tried to bury myself in work
Speaker 3: so I have less less time to be alone with
Speaker 3: my thoughts. Yeah, but all that does is make things
Speaker 3: worse because then I have more disposable income.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's talk about this real quick. Let's talk about
Speaker 1: this real quick. I'm sorry to cut you off, but
Speaker 1: it sounds like and I'm not a real therapist. I'm
Speaker 1: playing armchair therapy here, but I'm just kind of, you know,
Speaker 1: going with you about what I'm observing is like, you know,
Speaker 1: when you're like addicted to shit and you're looking for
Speaker 1: things to take away from your thoughts. It's like, well, Okay,
Speaker 1: I was into weed, and I was into crystal meth
Speaker 1: and all these things to like get away, and now
Speaker 1: prostitutes is my thing to get away from my thoughts.
Speaker 1: And now I'm gonna, you know, dive really deep into
Speaker 1: my work to get away from prostitutes. Uh, to not
Speaker 1: be just just it's it's all of it becomes this
Speaker 1: way to get away from as you keep bringing up
Speaker 1: being alone with your own thoughts and uh, it's it's
Speaker 1: like a game of fucking whack a mole or something
Speaker 1: where you're just keeping substituting various things to get away
Speaker 1: from your own thoughts, which is a natural thing to do.
Speaker 1: I don't you know, you know, you don't have to,
Speaker 1: You don't have to be a crystal meth addict to be,
Speaker 1: you know, getting away from your thoughts. I think getting
Speaker 1: away from your your your thoughts is something that everyone
Speaker 1: tries to do, and I think there are very pious,
Speaker 1: healthy slash unhealthy ways of doing it. But yo, let's
Speaker 1: explore this for a second. What about your thoughts is
Speaker 1: so terrible that you need to get away from them
Speaker 1: so badly?
Speaker 3: Damn, I haven't even thought about that and so long.
Speaker 3: If I were to be honest, I guess I sit
Speaker 3: there and replay specific events in my life that have
Speaker 3: negatively impacted me. Specifically, when I was real young, when
Speaker 3: bitcoin was first coming around, I really wanted to invest
Speaker 3: I had about three thousand dollars I wanted to invest
Speaker 3: in in bitcoin, way back when my family was like no, no, no,
Speaker 3: save that for college, save that for college. I went
Speaker 3: to college and I dropped out almost immediately. I went
Speaker 3: to two semesters. I spent that or I went to
Speaker 3: one semester. I spent that three grand on that one semester,
Speaker 3: and then I never went back. I got good grades,
Speaker 3: I just I didn't have the funds to be able
Speaker 3: to facilitate something like that at the time without a
Speaker 3: full ride scholarship. I was smart enough and I was
Speaker 3: dedicated enough. I just the money wasn't there, and so
Speaker 3: that was something I never pursued.
Speaker 1: So if I can stop you for just a second,
Speaker 1: So in general, these thoughts that you're getting away from,
Speaker 1: would you say, would it be fair to say that
Speaker 1: a lot of these thoughts that you're trying to get
Speaker 1: away from are comprised of ruminations on past mistakes, and
Speaker 1: that those ruminations are painful for you?
Speaker 3: I would say a vast majority of it would be okay.
Speaker 3: And it doesn't have to be a major mistake either, right, Like,
Speaker 3: even if it's something as minor, as like I fucked
Speaker 3: up putting a one instead of a two in this
Speaker 3: place when I was doing you know, when I when
Speaker 3: I was filling out a piece of paperwork, you know,
Speaker 3: like even the.
Speaker 1: Most but but the right right, right, and and and
Speaker 1: and you know, forget about the degree of the mistakes,
Speaker 1: but just in general mistakes, ways that you fucked up
Speaker 1: in the past. Yeah, you know, be they writing your name,
Speaker 1: misspelling your name on a fucking tax form, or you know,
Speaker 1: ruining a relationship or whatever it is. It's just ruminations
Speaker 1: on mistakes that you've made, right, Okay. So this is
Speaker 1: a long, complicated, real therapy question here, and I don't
Speaker 1: know if you have an answer for it, but let's
Speaker 1: talk about it. Why are you having such a hard
Speaker 1: time letting this shit go? Why can't you just let
Speaker 1: it go?
Speaker 3: Ah?
Speaker 1: Why is it?
Speaker 3: Because if if I had made the big one that
Speaker 3: stems from it, is if I had made that one
Speaker 3: little decision when I was real young, when I was
Speaker 3: like thirteen, fourteen years old, okay, I would be so
Speaker 3: well off right now, all right, I'd be living like
Speaker 3: Donald Trump, and I wouldn't have to work for anything.
Speaker 3: I'd be, you know, thirty retired, traveling around the world
Speaker 3: doing whatever I wanted day in and day out. And
Speaker 3: I would still have, you know, I'd be able to
Speaker 3: do basically whatever I want, live like a rapper essentially
Speaker 3: what society?
Speaker 1: Jerry, do you really believe that you believe that society
Speaker 1: wants you to live like a rapper? Yeah?
Speaker 3: No, I don't, but you know that that's you know,
Speaker 3: you would be James Bond if you wanted to, if
Speaker 3: you just had enough money, right, like that's what society.
Speaker 1: Jay Jerry, Jerry, I have a few things to say. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't, especially if it's something when you are thirteen.
Speaker 1: You can't let regret like regret like your regret is
Speaker 1: it is completely fucking you. Right now, You're like, it's
Speaker 1: just completely fucking you. Your regret is like tunnel visioning
Speaker 1: you away from all the infinite possibilities of the universe
Speaker 1: that you could be pursuing if you weren't focused on
Speaker 1: the regret. Know, I think I think you could benefit
Speaker 1: from instead of thinking about what you don't have as
Speaker 1: a result of you know, decisions that you you you
Speaker 1: made that that maybe didn't work out. You know, you
Speaker 1: could think about all everything you have now, right. I mean,
Speaker 1: you told me that you were on the street. You
Speaker 1: told me that you were under a bridge smoking crystal math.
Speaker 1: Is that true? You're under a bridge smoking crystal math?
Speaker 3: Yeah, a little over three years ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you were under you were under a bridge
Speaker 1: smoking crystal math. And now you have a job that
Speaker 1: gives you six figures, and you have an apartment, you
Speaker 1: have a you have such a great you're working off
Speaker 1: of such a great base. You're working off of such
Speaker 1: a great base for your life and instead of you know,
Speaker 1: appreciating the position that you're currently in and and ideating
Speaker 1: on what you can do now from here, from where
Speaker 1: you actually are, like living in reality which is great reality,
Speaker 1: You don't live in it. You live in a great reality.
Speaker 1: Like how often do you really think about that you
Speaker 1: live in a great reality? You have a great base
Speaker 1: to work off of, and to sit there and regret
Speaker 1: that you didn't make the right decision when you were
Speaker 1: fourteen and that you know you're not living like a
Speaker 1: ramper now, it's such a such a mistake, Jared, It's
Speaker 1: such a mistake. Yeah, And you could if you like,
Speaker 1: shifted your perspective to be thinking about instead of what
Speaker 1: you don't have, what you do have and how you
Speaker 1: can work off of that, you you could just be
Speaker 1: so much more excited about life and so much more
Speaker 1: excited about the future. And I, I guess, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I want I like to see, uh, think about that
Speaker 1: more instead of thinking about what you don't have, because
Speaker 1: you have such a great base off of which to work.
Speaker 3: Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for what
Speaker 3: I do have, and I've worked very hard to get myself.
Speaker 1: So just so just give it up, man, give give
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know how, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: don't know how best to tell you this or how
Speaker 1: best to and it's an easier you know, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: sitting here from an outside perspective, and everything's always easier
Speaker 1: said than done. But I mean, fuck, fuck, Jerry, just
Speaker 1: give it up, man, give up the part. What are
Speaker 1: you doing, you know, being so upset about the past
Speaker 1: and what could have been? You know, I've had times
Speaker 1: in my life where I've I've regretted decisions that I
Speaker 1: that I you know, could have made that would have,
Speaker 1: you know, set me off better financially or set me off,
Speaker 1: you know, better in my career, in my life. But
Speaker 1: what the fuck is there possibly to be gained in
Speaker 1: doing that? So, I mean, I don't know how to
Speaker 1: better tell you this than just just to give it up.
Speaker 1: You know, what are you what are you holding on
Speaker 1: to it for? It's serving you? It's literally just serving
Speaker 1: you no purpose?
Speaker 3: Yeah, completely right.
Speaker 1: And so if you gave it up and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden you made you alone with your thoughts
Speaker 1: to be an exciting place, you know, if your thoughts
Speaker 1: were optimistic. If your thoughts were you know, exciting to you,
Speaker 1: and you actually liked your thoughts, maybe it wouldn't suck
Speaker 1: so much to be alone with them, and then that
Speaker 1: would have a ripple effect, and then you wouldn't you know,
Speaker 1: wanna wanna you know, lose yourself and prostitutes or or
Speaker 1: in work, or in or in whatever it is. You know,
Speaker 1: if you made your thoughts a better place to be,
Speaker 1: and I think making your thoughts a better place to be,
Speaker 1: We'll begin with you, you know, giving up any regrets
Speaker 1: of the past, because you really need to look at
Speaker 1: them in the face and understand just how little they
Speaker 1: are serving you and just how much they are holding
Speaker 1: you back, and how much you know you're you're making
Speaker 1: it worse by by carrying all that shit around instead
Speaker 1: of you know, operating off of the base that you
Speaker 1: that you currently have, which is a really great one,
Speaker 1: you know. And I hope that after this conversation that
Speaker 1: you feel compelled to do all of those things and
Speaker 1: that you you know, change your mind to be more excited,
Speaker 1: because I think that'll unlock a lot for you, because
Speaker 1: if you were able to get yourself, if you're you know,
Speaker 1: you know what you're telling me is is really is
Speaker 1: your story, and that you were you know, went from
Speaker 1: fucking being homeless, smoking methander or bridge to uh, you know,
Speaker 1: having a job with six figures and living in a
Speaker 1: nice place. Then you know, I know that I know
Speaker 1: about you from that that you can really do some shit.
Speaker 1: You know, you really have the power to make great
Speaker 1: changes in your life. You've done it before, and you
Speaker 1: really have the power to you know, take hold of
Speaker 1: yourself and you know, drag yourself in the direction that
Speaker 1: you want to. You've done it before. You did an
Speaker 1: amazing thing you really did by doing that, And so
Speaker 1: if you've picked yourself up before, I think you can
Speaker 1: do it again. But before you do that, you have
Speaker 1: to let go of all the shit that's that's holding
Speaker 1: you back from the past.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you're right. I appreciate that. Man. Some I
Speaker 3: guess sometimes you really need an outside perspective to really
Speaker 3: put your thoughts in place, you know, because this is
Speaker 3: something I've been dwelling on for months and months and months,
Speaker 3: and it's not necessarily driven me to insanity, but I mean,
Speaker 3: you know, the definition of insanity at the end of
Speaker 3: the day, it's doing the same thing over and over
Speaker 3: again and expecting different results.
Speaker 1: Right, Jerry, I wish you good luck and I hope
Speaker 1: that you're able to, you know, let all of these things.
Speaker 1: And I I think you have a track record of
Speaker 1: being able to help yourself pretty well, and I think
Speaker 1: that that will continue, and I think that you'll be
Speaker 1: able to find yourself in a good place if you
Speaker 1: can give up you know, the regrets you have in
Speaker 1: the past. Is there anything else that you want to
Speaker 1: say to the people of the computer before we go,
Speaker 1: or you know, any aspect of this that you wanted
Speaker 1: to clear up before we go?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Man, if you are out there struggling with additions
Speaker 3: and you're one of the few people, or you're one
Speaker 3: of the people millions around the world that are struggling
Speaker 3: with addictions, don't be afraid to ask for help and
Speaker 3: to try and pull yourself out of that position. It'll
Speaker 3: be one of the best decisions you've ever made. I
Speaker 3: might be struggling with my addiction again now, but there
Speaker 3: was a time where I was more healthy than I
Speaker 3: am now, and that's okay. Being sick is okay if
Speaker 3: you're struggling. But the first thing you need to do
Speaker 3: is finally be able to realize what I'm doing is
Speaker 3: unhealthy and how do I fix it, and to talk
Speaker 3: to other people, those of you who are struggling out there,
Speaker 3: considered going to twelve Steps. I've been through it, and
Speaker 3: I've been away from it for so long, and I
Speaker 3: think that's another reason that I've started to lead my
Speaker 3: unhealthy life again. And I just want to say thank
Speaker 3: you for listening, and I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing Jerry. You know, it takes a
Speaker 1: lot to you know, be open and honest on a
Speaker 1: public forum, so we appreciate it, and I'm sure people
Speaker 1: listening appreciate it. Thank you for calling man.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have a good life.
Speaker 1: Take care brother. You know it's interesting every time, you know,
Speaker 1: I get into something like this, I always think about
Speaker 1: how it's manifesting in my own life, and I'm thinking about, like,
Speaker 1: you know, I think the best mindset, you know, you
Speaker 1: could really have is is like, Okay, what now? What
Speaker 1: can I do with? Like, like, what can I do
Speaker 1: with where I'm at now? You know what? Now is
Speaker 1: a great mindset to have because it's not stuck in
Speaker 1: the past, not stuck on some shit that you can't control.
Speaker 1: It's a very high locus of control mindset, and you
Speaker 1: don't thinking about how that's manifesting in my own life,
Speaker 1: and talking to Joey kind of made me think about,
Speaker 1: like how I can better center myself and collect myself
Speaker 1: with an energy of you know, what have I got
Speaker 1: right now? And how is it better than you know,
Speaker 1: maybe where I was in the past, and how can
Speaker 1: I work off of that foundation. So I'm going to
Speaker 1: think about that myself. I'm going to think about that myself.
Speaker 1: Thank you again Jerry for sharing. Hello. Hello, what's going on?
Speaker 4: By name is Sarah. I'm from Germany, twenty four years old.
Speaker 4: I'm a dentist, actually becoming a dentist in February.
Speaker 1: Sarah, what's going on with you? How's life?
Speaker 4: The problem is my boyfriend is a YouTuber. He has
Speaker 4: he has multiple channels going on. He has over five million.
Speaker 5: Subscribers, and he've made.
Speaker 4: A lot of money till today. The problem is, since
Speaker 4: two weeks he've started to think about YouTube automation and
Speaker 4: like going out there, putting himself out there, presenting himself
Speaker 4: in order to like coach people, you know, like like
Speaker 4: give courses online or like networking, meeting up with people.
Speaker 4: But this is something that I'm totally against it. I
Speaker 4: don't believe that a man should be presenting himself on
Speaker 4: Instagram at first place. And yeah, like he already made
Speaker 4: a lot of money. I don't I don't see any
Speaker 4: reason for him.
Speaker 1: To do that.
Speaker 4: And I basically think that like he's seeking the attention
Speaker 4: and I'm not someone that's that's gonna cope with him,
Speaker 4: like that's gonna cope with like the whole situation, you know.
Speaker 1: Okay, so let me let me I'm having a bit
Speaker 1: of a hard time understanding this, so let me kind
Speaker 1: of get this straight here. So your boyfriend is a YouTuber.
Speaker 1: What kind of videos does he make?
Speaker 4: Exactly? He makes like true crime videos, like extreme videos,
Speaker 4: this kind of thing. But his main focus is on
Speaker 4: true crime.
Speaker 1: Okay. So your boy from extrue crime videos on YouTube
Speaker 1: and he is teaching YouTube automation courses. What is that.
Speaker 4: He wants to do that YouTube automation basically means YouTube coaching,
Speaker 4: like for example, for people who are starting a channel,
Speaker 4: how you should work on a channel and this kind
Speaker 4: of stuff.
Speaker 1: Okay, So he wants to be a YouTube coach? Okay,
Speaker 1: and exactly where where lies in your problem with this.
Speaker 4: In order for him to do that, he needs to
Speaker 4: present himself on Instagram to show that he's successful, to
Speaker 4: show that he's made a lot of money with YouTube.
Speaker 4: And I don't really think that this is necessary, you know,
Speaker 4: because like I'm also making a lot of money, and
Speaker 4: I think we can have a great life together in
Speaker 4: the age of twenty four and there is like no
Speaker 4: need for that. But we had like serious problems about
Speaker 4: him wanting to do that. So I don't know if
Speaker 4: I'm selfish not wanting him to do that, or or
Speaker 4: I just should I just should be coping with it.
Speaker 1: I guess I'm having a really hard time understanding why
Speaker 1: exactly you're upset by your boyfriend presenting himself in a
Speaker 1: certain way on Instagram to uh, you know, show that
Speaker 1: he is qualified to coach other people on YouTube.
Speaker 5: Let me put it this way, in order for people
Speaker 5: to buy his courses, he needs to, for example, post
Speaker 5: picture with a lot of amazing cars, get get in
Speaker 5: touch with like a lot of women out there. And
Speaker 5: I think this is this is this is my biggest issue,
Speaker 5: you know, Like I love myself, I am confident, but
Speaker 5: I just I just don't think that's just this is needed.
Speaker 5: Like we are together since two years, We've been traveling
Speaker 5: the whole two years. If I'm being honest with you,
Speaker 5: and I love the freedom that we have. And if
Speaker 5: he ever starts doing that, he would be restricted to
Speaker 5: stay somewhere to coach people, and he wouldn't be having
Speaker 5: the freedom that we have now. But I've done everything
Speaker 5: in my life in order to have this freedom, you know.
Speaker 1: Okay, so wouldn't if he was coaching people on YouTube,
Speaker 1: wouldn't he be coaching people remotely?
Speaker 4: Sorry, I didn't understand you.
Speaker 1: If he was coaching people on YouTube, wouldn't he be
Speaker 1: coaching them remotely?
Speaker 4: And he would he would need to meet up with
Speaker 4: them and also get in calls with them, like weekly,
Speaker 4: for example, five times a week, you know, and he
Speaker 4: also needs to meet up with them. So we wouldn't
Speaker 4: be able to travel all around the world. For example,
Speaker 4: I'm from Germany, he's from United Kingdom, and you know,
Speaker 4: like it's gonna be it's gonna be a little tough
Speaker 4: to manage that.
Speaker 1: Okay, where are you guys at currently? Are you in Germany?
Speaker 1: Both of you guys?
Speaker 4: We are If we are currently in Germany, I'm I'm Vorking.
Speaker 4: I'm working with my cousin in Germany, so he's actually
Speaker 4: in my city now, but we are in a hotel
Speaker 4: and like as he always do. But whatever, if he
Speaker 4: ever starts doing what he want to do, we would
Speaker 4: be restricted to either be separated or me leaving my
Speaker 4: life behind completely and move to the United Kingdom.
Speaker 1: Okay, so listen, I'm not going to tell you whether
Speaker 1: or you should break up with your boyfriend, obviously, but
Speaker 1: if your boyfriend has something I think you know, everyone
Speaker 1: has different everyone has different philosophies on relationship. You know,
Speaker 1: some people believe that if you really want to make
Speaker 1: relationship work, you you sacrifice things that you want to
Speaker 1: do to make the other person happy and to make
Speaker 1: the relationship work. And other people believe that, you know,
Speaker 1: you should do what it is that you want to
Speaker 1: do with your life and ideally find a relationship where
Speaker 1: the relationship works around the people's lives, not the people's
Speaker 1: lives working around the relationship. And you know, I'm not
Speaker 1: going to say which of those two schools of thought
Speaker 1: is better, because that's a subjective thing.
Speaker 4: I know, I appreciate that, but I would I would
Speaker 4: love to know from your side of you. Is it
Speaker 4: toxic from me not wanting him to do that?
Speaker 1: I think ideally, if you really love this guy, I'll
Speaker 1: get sure you know it's it's a subjective thing, and
Speaker 1: I will give you my subjective opinion. If you really
Speaker 1: love this guy and you really want him to be
Speaker 1: happy and to live his best life, I think that
Speaker 1: you should encourage him to do whatever it is he
Speaker 1: wants to do in his business. Now you are claiming
Speaker 1: that if you were to stay in this relationship. You
Speaker 1: are claiming that you like your freedom and that you
Speaker 1: want to be able to travel, yeah, and do all
Speaker 1: these things. And your feeling as though if your boyfriends
Speaker 1: were to take on this new endeavor and you wanted
Speaker 1: to stay with him, it would prevent you from doing
Speaker 1: what you want to do. And listen, if your boyfriend
Speaker 1: really loves you, he would want you to not feel
Speaker 1: restricted and to want to do whatever you want to do.
Speaker 1: And if there is a point of ten there where
Speaker 1: both of you guys pursuing what you want to do
Speaker 1: would be incompatible with you guys being in a relationship together,
Speaker 1: you know that's something to really think about. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: because that would be the school of thought of you know,
Speaker 1: wanting to have a relationship that works around your life
Speaker 1: as opposed to a life that works around a relationship.
Speaker 1: And if you're asking me again, I don't think that
Speaker 1: either one is the right one. If you're asking me
Speaker 1: my personal philosophy, I definitely think that two people's lives.
Speaker 1: Relationships should work around people's lives as opposed to people's
Speaker 1: lives working around relationships. That's how I feel. And so
Speaker 1: if you feel as though the life that you want
Speaker 1: to live is incompatible in this relationship, that's something to
Speaker 1: think about and you know, make a decision according to
Speaker 1: where those thoughts guide you. If that makes any sense.
Speaker 1: Did that make sense?
Speaker 4: True? It's does, it does. It's just it's just pretty
Speaker 4: difficult to me, because like I don't want to be toxic,
Speaker 4: but I also like you. If I'm being completely honest
Speaker 4: with you and just like completely close my eyes on
Speaker 4: the YouTube thing. I also don't see a reason for
Speaker 4: a man be be just on Instagram if I'm being
Speaker 4: honest with you, Like, I do believe that like men
Speaker 4: out there shouldn't be on Instagram the way the way
Speaker 4: my dad isn't, you know, Like, like I'm basically from Iran,
Speaker 4: I'm living in Germany, science twelve years and I just
Speaker 4: have I just have like other values.
Speaker 1: You know, Okay, listen here, here's here's what I think
Speaker 1: about the question of are you toxic for not wanting
Speaker 1: your boyfriend to be on Instagram. I think if you
Speaker 1: have certain value listen, have whatever values you're gonna have.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's toxic to have. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's toxic to have certain values. But at a certain point,
Speaker 1: I don't think it's ideal for you to be enforcing
Speaker 1: your personal values on other people. Right, So if you don't,
Speaker 1: if you have values that are like I don't want
Speaker 1: my boyfriend to be on Instagram, you know, then go
Speaker 1: find yourself a boyfriend who is not on Instagram, right,
Speaker 1: don't find a guy who is on Instagram and try
Speaker 1: to convince them to get off.
Speaker 4: I mean, he wasn't on Instagram. I mean, and I
Speaker 4: got to know him. He had a private page. I mean,
Speaker 4: he still do have a private page. Nobody knows him.
Speaker 4: He never shows his face, and like these things are
Speaker 4: coming up, finds like a week which is caused by
Speaker 4: a friend of him who mentioned all of this stuff,
Speaker 4: like for to reach his goals, to make her own
Speaker 4: three hundred K a month and blah blah blah blah blah,
Speaker 4: which we do not really need because we're both making money.
Speaker 4: Like I work and I'm also dentists. He's already been working,
Speaker 4: he has savings, you know, like I just it just
Speaker 4: doesn't make sense to me in the end of the day.
Speaker 1: You know, well, Sarah, I I'll say this before we go.
Speaker 1: I think it's okay for you to have certain values,
Speaker 1: whatever they are, right. You know, I would never tell
Speaker 1: you how to think or what to feel. But I
Speaker 1: think that, like I said, having values and having values
Speaker 1: and imposing values upon others are two different things. And
Speaker 1: I think when you start to impose your values onto
Speaker 1: other people and try to dictate other people to live
Speaker 1: by your values is when it becomes a problem. And
Speaker 1: so I think you should if And also I think
Speaker 1: people change, right, So maybe when you got into this
Speaker 1: relationship with this guy, you guys had similar values and
Speaker 1: then as time went on, your value started to shift.
Speaker 1: And I don't think that that's a horrible tragic thing,
Speaker 1: but you guys should, you know, have an open and
Speaker 1: honest conversation about what it is that you value and
Speaker 1: see if you're still on the right track. And if
Speaker 1: you're seeing a lot of dissonance in each other's values
Speaker 1: and you're seeing that your lives are no longer compatible
Speaker 1: with this relationship, then you know you should you should
Speaker 1: think about that. That's what I'll say about this.
Speaker 4: True that that makes sense, I guess. I guess I
Speaker 4: just need to have a like more clear conversation with
Speaker 4: him and just and just tell him how I feel
Speaker 4: about it all and if it would work or or
Speaker 4: or if not right and.
Speaker 1: To that degree. And I'll uh to that degree. Like,
Speaker 1: you can't. You can't change him. You can't when you're
Speaker 1: asking it's a toxic. You can't force him to not
Speaker 1: have an Instagram. You can't. You can't. You can't force
Speaker 1: him theme Instagram. You can't dictate how he's going to act,
Speaker 1: But you can look at how he is and how
Speaker 1: he's acting and what he's choices he's deciding to make
Speaker 1: in life and decide for yourself that those choices and
Speaker 1: whatnot don't align with your values, and then make the
Speaker 1: decision to terminate the relationship. That's within your control, right,
Speaker 1: that's you controlling your own actions. But you can't impose
Speaker 1: your values upon to him. That's what I'll say. You're right, Sarah.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go, or any other
Speaker 1: aspect of this that you wanted to talk about.
Speaker 4: No, I'm really grateful for your advices, and I will
Speaker 4: be thinking about him, and.
Speaker 5: For sure I will talk to him about it.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Thank you so much for your time.
Speaker 4: I enjoyed my time also a lot awesome.
Speaker 1: Thank you very much for calling Sarah.
Speaker 4: Ah bye bye bye.
Speaker 1: There's an interesting one because uh, you know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I guess I could just reiterate what I said, which
Speaker 1: is like, you know, look, if you okay, if you
Speaker 1: have a certain I don't really care what people believe.
Speaker 1: I really don't. I don't care if people want to
Speaker 1: believe things that I think are unreasonable. I kind of don't.
Speaker 1: I really do feel like people should be entitled to
Speaker 1: believe or value whatever they want, even if it's like,
Speaker 1: by my opinion, crazy or unreasonable. People can value whatever
Speaker 1: they want in life. Again, the chief issue becomes when
Speaker 1: they try to impose their values upon others. That's where
Speaker 1: like a lot of I'm gonna get whatever here, but
Speaker 1: That's where like human conflict comes into play, right, Like
Speaker 1: there's a there's a general belief I think that most
Speaker 1: people have that you can do and think and say
Speaker 1: and feel however it is you want in this world,
Speaker 1: as long as you are not affecting other people or
Speaker 1: imposing that upon other people. And you know, I hope,
Speaker 1: I hope that Sarah makes the right decision that that
Speaker 1: you know, results in the maximum happiness for both her
Speaker 1: and her her boyfriend. Hi am I live. We're alive.
Speaker 1: Oh hello, Katie? What's going on with you? How can
Speaker 1: I get you today? Hi?
Speaker 2: I am calling because I have this. I have this
Speaker 2: weird thing. I mean, I don't know if it's weird,
Speaker 2: but I am obsessed with nine to eleven. And it's
Speaker 2: not like an ironic thing. I genuinely am like super
Speaker 2: interested in it. But people in my life think I'm
Speaker 2: making a joke of it, and I'm completely serious. I
Speaker 2: got an issue of The New York Post from September
Speaker 2: twelfth for Christmas, and I am dead serious about it.
Speaker 2: I know everything there is to know any trivia, I
Speaker 2: know the answer, and people think that I am being
Speaker 2: ironic and I'm not.
Speaker 1: You got a copy of the New York Post for Christmas?
Speaker 1: What was like like it was a copy of the
Speaker 1: New York Post, like on nine to eleven.
Speaker 2: It's from September twelve, says active war World Trade Center
Speaker 2: destroyed many dead. It's from September and twelfth, September twelfth.
Speaker 1: Yes, who gave it to you?
Speaker 2: My boyfriend?
Speaker 1: So your boyfriend? Oh oh go ahead? Oh no.
Speaker 2: A lot of people think I'm being like silly about
Speaker 2: it and I'm making a joke of it, and I seriously,
Speaker 2: it's like a serious interest for me.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, an obsession with nine to eleven. It
Speaker 1: sounds pretty similar to like, you know, people's obsessions with
Speaker 1: World War II history and the Civil War and other
Speaker 1: kinds of macabre events. I think the difference between that
Speaker 1: and yours is simply that, uh, you know, nine to
Speaker 1: eleven is more recent. But I mean people have had
Speaker 1: obsessions with, you know, tragic historical events, you know, forever.
Speaker 1: People get so obsessed with them that they write books
Speaker 1: about them and become historians.
Speaker 2: And I've read all of those books. Just to be clear,
Speaker 2: I've read like every book there has been written about
Speaker 2: nine to eleven. And I was also alive for it.
Speaker 2: And I remember it.
Speaker 1: So, so you think people think that you're just like
Speaker 1: reading books about nine to eleven as a joke.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they think I'm being like.
Speaker 5: Passee about it.
Speaker 2: I think they think that I am like making a
Speaker 2: meme of it.
Speaker 1: That would be this. This would be a lot of
Speaker 1: research and investigation for a.
Speaker 2: Meme, yeah exactly. And I think that I don't know,
Speaker 2: like because it has become kind of like an ironic thing,
Speaker 2: especially in the wake of like post ironic like meme
Speaker 2: culture and all.
Speaker 1: True, it's been a little memified.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. But like I have been interested in this
Speaker 2: for a long time, and I think, I don't know,
Speaker 2: people have kind of come at me about it like
Speaker 2: that I'm being insensitive. So I don't really know how
Speaker 2: to navigate my interest in it with the kind of
Speaker 2: modern culture of the interest and the kind of meme shit.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: I had a phase for a little bit every now
Speaker 1: and then where I've become obsessed with.
Speaker 2: Columbine Yes, been there, oh yeah.
Speaker 1: Or like shootings and stuff. I think everyone has that
Speaker 1: like this, this this I don't know where it comes from.
Speaker 2: This dark like the morbid curiosity, yes.
Speaker 1: The morbid people. The more of a curiosities. What was
Speaker 1: I going to say here? Uh? Why why nine eleven?
Speaker 1: Why are you so obsessed with nine to eleven?
Speaker 2: Because nine to eleven changed the trajectory of history forever.
Speaker 2: I think that nine to eleven was this like huge
Speaker 2: point in modern history where like nothing will ever be
Speaker 2: the same again. And I think about like I mean,
Speaker 2: I think a lot of my interests, it's not just
Speaker 2: about the day, it's about like the effects that home
Speaker 2: where I live. I live in Dallas, Texas.
Speaker 1: A lot of it is about who are you with?
Speaker 2: I live in Dallas, Texas.
Speaker 1: Nod who are you with?
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm with my friend.
Speaker 1: Okay. Somebody in the chat said, this isn't funny, And
Speaker 1: it's funny. It's you are getting where it's comes from exactly.
Speaker 1: Not not a single neither of us have been trying
Speaker 1: to be funny. And yet yeah, well I've just experienced
Speaker 1: firsthand what you're talking about. And yet people think that
Speaker 1: you're trying to be funny, which is you know, it's
Speaker 1: just fucked up with them, right.
Speaker 2: I think that probably the people who are saying that
Speaker 2: weren't alive for it.
Speaker 1: I'm tell me this, tell me this, tell me this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: was nine to eleven and inside job?
Speaker 2: No, okay, So this is a very loaded question, and
Speaker 2: it's when I get a lot because my exception, my
Speaker 2: obsession with it kind of warrants the question. I believe
Speaker 2: that nine to eleven was an act of negligence on
Speaker 2: the part of the US government. I think that the
Speaker 2: nineteen ninety what was it, nineteen ninety two attack on
Speaker 2: the World Trade Center was a huge foreshadowing. I think
Speaker 2: that it wasn't on part of George Bush, but I
Speaker 2: think that it was very much preventable. So that's my
Speaker 2: opinion on it.
Speaker 1: Do you think the negligence was intentional?
Speaker 2: Yes, I think I think.
Speaker 1: That we se sorry so, But would intentional negligence be
Speaker 1: and didn't make it an inside job?
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I think that it was just
Speaker 2: because we felt invincible as a government. I think that
Speaker 2: our country felt our government and our political system felt invincible,
Speaker 2: and we felt like it was a minor threat when
Speaker 2: in reality there were like so many red flags. But
Speaker 2: I digress is your friend.
Speaker 1: Is your friend? Uh uh? Into nine to eleven?
Speaker 2: She supports me in my interest. Yes, I was just
Speaker 2: showing her my New York Post issue that I got
Speaker 2: for Christmas, so she's she's down with it. It's mainly
Speaker 2: just kind of side characters in my life who think
Speaker 2: that I'm making a joke out of it.
Speaker 1: Okay, I mean, look, it is a little bit funny
Speaker 1: that your boyfriend gave you a newspaper about nine to
Speaker 1: eleven for Christmas.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, he he gets me. What can I say,
Speaker 2: kind of.
Speaker 1: Kind of romantic, kind of romantic, Yeah, in a in
Speaker 1: a weird way.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: He loves you so much, he accepts your interests so much.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he you know, it took a lot of
Speaker 2: work to get him to understand because it was like
Speaker 2: everyone else like he good. Well yeah, I mean it
Speaker 2: took a lot of work to get him to understand
Speaker 2: that it was not this ironic thing.
Speaker 1: So did he Uh how much did that cost? I
Speaker 1: feel like that would be kind of worth a lot.
Speaker 2: I have no idea, but it's definitely an original copy.
Speaker 2: He said he got it from eBay. It smells old.
Speaker 1: There's some fucking guy on eBay just like making a
Speaker 1: killing off of like selling and trading nine to eleven
Speaker 1: themed memorabilia.
Speaker 2: I mean, as he should. There's there's a market for it,
Speaker 2: and it's me. I mean, I don't know. Apparently apparently, yeah,
Speaker 2: but it's unfortunate that people think I'm making a joke
Speaker 2: out of it. So that's that's my problem. I'm not laughing.
Speaker 1: Does any part of you hope that there's a second
Speaker 1: nine to eleven so that you have things to read about?
Speaker 2: Absolutely not. I am a pacifist, I do not. I mean,
Speaker 2: I know, okay, I I have a level of empathy
Speaker 2: with the position that, uh, you know, I don't want
Speaker 2: to get too into it, but I have a position
Speaker 2: of empathy about why it happened. But I do not
Speaker 2: ever wish violence on anybody. So that's where I stand
Speaker 2: on that. I just hope people can appreciate my perspective
Speaker 2: and my interest without thinking that I'm being uh, you know,
Speaker 2: passive and U silly about it.
Speaker 1: Well, good, good, all right. Final question, do you think
Speaker 1: there will be another nine to eleven.
Speaker 2: In the near future? I don't think so. I mean,
Speaker 2: I guess that question boils down to what would the
Speaker 2: equivalent be. I don't know how to answer that, but
Speaker 2: as of right now, I mean, the war is technically over,
Speaker 2: I don't know, but obviously there's all this other conflicts,
Speaker 2: so I can't predict that, but I don't think so
Speaker 2: in the near future, so I don't know.
Speaker 1: I would know crazy if there was another nine to
Speaker 1: eleven and it happened on nine to eleven. I'm not
Speaker 1: a big conspiracy theory guy, but if that happened, I
Speaker 1: would probably start to dig into it.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, I mean that would be iconic. I can't lie.
Speaker 2: I mean not in a good way, but not in
Speaker 2: a good way.
Speaker 1: But you know, no, well we can end on that. Katie,
Speaker 1: Thank you very much for calling. Is there anything else
Speaker 1: you want to say to the people of the computer
Speaker 1: before we go?
Speaker 2: No, I just want to say that it's a serious
Speaker 2: interest and I know everything there is to know. I
Speaker 2: feel I believe, and yeah, I don't think it's an
Speaker 2: inside job. I think it's an act of negligence. So
Speaker 2: that's all I have to say.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling, Katie.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I mean it would be kind of iconic. It goes
Speaker 1: on the line, thank you. So every night everything kept
Speaker 1: goes to and to right of teaching.
Speaker 3: New Houses of your life.
Speaker 1: But he's not really an expert