Speaker 1: Start up, Start up, Brooklyn start up, Brooklyn Boys up.
Speaker 1: All right, we got more, no time for that. We
Speaker 1: just gotta keep coming. We just gotta get started and started.
Speaker 1: We started, Yeah, we just started. Right now, we're in,
Speaker 1: We're up, We're started all of it episode. So this
Speaker 1: is the Thanksgiving Week of podcasts. Yes, everything is cut short.
Speaker 1: Everything's cut in half, including this podcast. Right that. We
Speaker 1: have to minimize how many people at the table. We
Speaker 1: have to minimize how many minutes we're doing today. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because it's minimized the day in the week because technically
Speaker 1: today is Monday when recording this, but it's actually really
Speaker 1: our Wednesday, because Thursday or Thursday, depending on if it's
Speaker 1: getaway day for some of you people. Now we're gonna
Speaker 1: post it on Monday night. Okay, we gotta stop talking fast.
Speaker 1: We gotta stop that, right, Sure, I'm not talking fast.
Speaker 1: You're unprofessional. I really am. I cut the song off.
Speaker 1: I never do that, but you sound like serial Killers.
Speaker 1: So we're not. We're not getting two technical the Seri
Speaker 1: Killers podcast. Those guys, Scottie and Andrew love them, love
Speaker 1: the podcast. But I I've written about I don't know
Speaker 1: eight jingles for them, little little parodies for them, and
Speaker 1: without getting technical, they have to do an extra step.
Speaker 1: If they want to fade the songs down, right, they
Speaker 1: have to load them in with a fade already on them.
Speaker 1: So they like, you know, serial killers can write fades out,
Speaker 1: but because they're lazy you can quote me on this,
Speaker 1: they don't load them with a fade. They play them
Speaker 1: raw every time they play them, and because of the equipment,
Speaker 1: they're not able to fade them as they play them.
Speaker 1: So it's just like and they turn it off. It's
Speaker 1: so unprofessional, and Scottie is like, he's one of the
Speaker 1: most professional anal people about getting everything what we're unprofessional
Speaker 1: to come out, we are professionalism, Brodie. I went through
Speaker 1: uh I Heart Radios topodcast chart, by the way, number
Speaker 1: fifteen this week, two weeks in a row. Now, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you for the slices for doing that. And by
Speaker 1: the way, if you could, if you could listen to
Speaker 1: this episode and then listen to another one and started
Speaker 1: for like five or ten minutes at least the one
Speaker 1: that would be because we'll get credit. We'll get double credit. Right. Also,
Speaker 1: if this episode is a little shorter than normal and
Speaker 1: the day after you listen to it. You listen to
Speaker 1: it again, you'll have gotten as much content, but we'll
Speaker 1: get two listens. Yeah, but listen to a different episode.
Speaker 1: Why not, Well, because we want this one to get
Speaker 1: a lot of listeners. We want to get a lot
Speaker 1: of listens. Um, so before we move any further, Um,
Speaker 1: my phone keeps going off. Um, another ding to my phone.
Speaker 1: Ding ding, you know the ding pizza thing. No, it's
Speaker 1: not the pizza ding. It's the ding of another purchase
Speaker 1: being made in our Brooklyn Boys merch store. We have
Speaker 1: introduced the new merch is flying because not only do
Speaker 1: we have two we have hoodies. Now we along with
Speaker 1: the tank tops of the T shirts, we have two patterns.
Speaker 1: We have the the Brooklyn Bridge pattern and we have
Speaker 1: the property of But we surprised this. We kind of
Speaker 1: just we dropped it like it's hot. We didn't even
Speaker 1: tell anybody we were doing this. And the gray one
Speaker 1: says brody and scary in parentheses. But no, but we
Speaker 1: don't even tell anybody we're doing this. We we decided
Speaker 1: to make an ugly Christmas sweater pattern. Oh my god. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so we said, you know, Donna say that in our
Speaker 1: last episode that we were doing that we were talking
Speaker 1: to Matt about new merch and for the holidays or whatever,
Speaker 1: and within a fifteen minutes he sends back ugly Christmas sweaters.
Speaker 1: He's like, what do you guys think? We're like, oh
Speaker 1: my god. So it's not only the ugly the the
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boys callers, which, by the way, the Mets callers
Speaker 1: what but they he's got slogans and say slices, slice
Speaker 1: for life, um free dessert he has, and brody on
Speaker 1: there right. The only thing we don't have is a
Speaker 1: f A seventy seven, but that's gonna be on the
Speaker 1: jersey if things continue to go well, which will release
Speaker 1: in the spring when we can go to baseball to
Speaker 1: get in while the getting is good on the ugly
Speaker 1: Christmas sweater. But wait, there's more more. Well, let's give
Speaker 1: out the website. Well it's first of all, it's Brooklyn
Speaker 1: Boys dot big Cartel dot com. That's Brooklyn Boys big
Speaker 1: Cartel dot com. And Cartel is c A R T E. L. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're not there now between now and whenever supplies run
Speaker 1: out by any two items on the site at any
Speaker 1: two tops or any two tops right, any two tops. Well,
Speaker 1: there was only tops you can't buy a top in
Speaker 1: a mask and get they there's no mask keeping right,
Speaker 1: So by any two any any two items on the
Speaker 1: site right now, boom, they're gonna throw in a free
Speaker 1: Brooklyn Boys mask. I don't know about they. It's us
Speaker 1: which one thrown in the mask? Are you stuffing envelopes? Okay,
Speaker 1: we paid for the masks and we're giving them away.
Speaker 1: We pay. We're not doing the physical stuffing of the
Speaker 1: envelope now, I know. It's more like when you give
Speaker 1: away all of our merchandise. It's sort of like that.
Speaker 1: It's the scary Jones by two get one free special. Right.
Speaker 1: You could act like you're a friend of Ski. He's
Speaker 1: he's giving you the mask for free. You gotta buy
Speaker 1: two items and then they will automatically do while supplies last,
Speaker 1: and they we have some supplies right now, so we're good. Um,
Speaker 1: so yeah, so go there. We'll get that out of
Speaker 1: the way right now. That was a shameless I'm always
Speaker 1: gonna a My phone has been dinging for a completely
Speaker 1: different reasons. Why is your phone dinging? Apparently I've got
Speaker 1: friends and wait wait for it. In California, Oakland, California, Broomfield, Colorado, Pacifica, California,
Speaker 1: which I've never heard of, Anchorage, Alaska, and Beverly Hills, California.
Speaker 1: Who knew I had all these West Coast and Alaska
Speaker 1: and you know Northwest Colorado is what are you say?
Speaker 1: Western America? I have all these friends. Um, they're all
Speaker 1: scam calls. They're all spoof dials. There somebody. I don't
Speaker 1: if it's the same person or a couple of different
Speaker 1: people are calling me and spoofing and putting up these
Speaker 1: fake phone numbers. Because I have a business phone cell
Speaker 1: phone that I got for work, so it's not really
Speaker 1: my phone, and so I start six seven them looked
Speaker 1: that up if you don't know what it is, but
Speaker 1: it blocked your phone number, Start six seven one in
Speaker 1: the area code. And I called most of them back.
Speaker 1: A couple of them are phone numbers, they're not in service,
Speaker 1: and I got one. I don't know if she's lying
Speaker 1: or not. She said, yeah, I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: know what you're talking about. I made any calls. What
Speaker 1: number do you want? I said, your number. I'm getting
Speaker 1: a lot of spam phone calls from this number. So
Speaker 1: she says, well, what number are you calling? I said, well,
Speaker 1: you know what number I'm calling because it's your number.
Speaker 1: Well what number is it? I said, are you getting
Speaker 1: other people calling you? Yes, other people are calling me
Speaker 1: claiming they got a call from this number. I said,
Speaker 1: then it's irrelevant. You already know your number. There isn't
Speaker 1: a dumb question. And the number I dialed and your
Speaker 1: phone rang, that's the number. That's the number. So then
Speaker 1: I said, okay, it ends in six. We good. She says, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's me. But I'm not making those calls. I swear
Speaker 1: to you, I said, while someone's using your spooking right,
Speaker 1: but who For a minute, I thought, Wow, I've got
Speaker 1: all these What's coast What's sied friends? But I do not.
Speaker 1: I felt like Beverly Hills, who's calling me? Like some
Speaker 1: rich uncle I didn't know about wants to leave me,
Speaker 1: Canna say, I mean, I would take the Beverly Hills
Speaker 1: call every time, or some TV producer wants me as
Speaker 1: the funny neighbor on some new sitcom. Maybe because I'm ready,
Speaker 1: you know, that was my catchphrase all the time. Why
Speaker 1: when I used to perform comedy, um I would uh,
Speaker 1: I would do well, and so that some of the
Speaker 1: other comics would say things like, while you're really funny,
Speaker 1: and I would always joke with them, or if I
Speaker 1: wrote material for them, uh like if I saw their acting,
Speaker 1: I would say, you know what if you added this
Speaker 1: or that? And they, oh, my god, it's great. They say,
Speaker 1: how can I repay you? And I'd say, when you
Speaker 1: get your sitcom, I get to be the wacky neighbor,
Speaker 1: like writing material for them the way I wanted the
Speaker 1: slices to write a line in your wop song and
Speaker 1: you wouldn't allow that to happen. Yeah, that's correct, because
Speaker 1: I'm not those other people. Huh. Listen, I write jokes
Speaker 1: for everyone on the morning show, scary, including you sometimes.
Speaker 1: I know, but but but you're not there. But you're
Speaker 1: offering material to professionals in industry. How do you think
Speaker 1: you made them feel by offering them that material? Like
Speaker 1: funk this guy? I got myself because people you out.
Speaker 1: I'll answer that, I object your honor. Professional comedians are
Speaker 1: open to suggestions from other professional comedians on their level.
Speaker 1: I guess you're not a professional comedian. If Jerry Seinfeld
Speaker 1: and said Jerry, If I said Jerry Seinfeld, hey, I
Speaker 1: had a thought about that hair dryer bit you do.
Speaker 1: He would not give me the time of day. But
Speaker 1: if I went up to someone who was on my
Speaker 1: level and said, hey, Mike, that was that was a
Speaker 1: great set. I was thinking, when you talk about the
Speaker 1: the beeper that your kid used to have, what have
Speaker 1: you said this? Oh my god, it's hilarious. Can I
Speaker 1: use that Devil's advocate? What if there are people out
Speaker 1: there that are slices that I know are very funny,
Speaker 1: that are on your level. It's the same thing. Not
Speaker 1: when it comes to my song parodies. Seinfeld want to
Speaker 1: have to write a song parody, I would say, Jerry,
Speaker 1: that's not what you just said. Though you said people
Speaker 1: comedians on the similar level. No, No No, I was talking
Speaker 1: about stand up comedy material. You can choose to add
Speaker 1: or not add to your materials. So what is the
Speaker 1: difference if a parody writer is on your level and
Speaker 1: they want to contribute a line to the Whop song
Speaker 1: like I said an episode two. If you don't know
Speaker 1: what we're talking about, listen in order. I explained this
Speaker 1: last week. The slices are just but it's no different. Nope,
Speaker 1: it's different because I take my my parodies very personally
Speaker 1: and I don't I don't enjoy people the comedi Other
Speaker 1: comedians don't take their materials, don't collaborate and listen. Comedians
Speaker 1: often take material and borrow ideas and fluff up and
Speaker 1: pad some of the work they do. This is what
Speaker 1: we call being painted into a corner and trying to
Speaker 1: find out. I'm trying. I'm trying to get you to
Speaker 1: understand that it's a different. It's just because it's it's different. No,
Speaker 1: it's no, it's different. I've had listen, I've done I've
Speaker 1: done improv where people have come up to me and said, hey,
Speaker 1: you know what, what if you had done this? I
Speaker 1: got that's really fun. I try to remember that for
Speaker 1: next time, and you forget him. No, I've used it
Speaker 1: because improv is off the cuff stuff, right, and so
Speaker 1: rarely do you use material. I don't do stand up
Speaker 1: but smell something some bs right there. I can't help it.
Speaker 1: You're not a creative person. Scary a creative guy. First
Speaker 1: of all, you first left, I'm left handed, okay, and
Speaker 1: left are much more creative. No, I wasn't gonna go.
Speaker 1: Lefties are much more creative than right handed people. Overall,
Speaker 1: I'm an aquarius. I'm known for being creative, right, You're
Speaker 1: not known for being creative, You're known for being Aquarius, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, is bullshit. And you know it. Okay, Brodie,
Speaker 1: are nothing alike your dogs barking. Even your dog knows
Speaker 1: you're wrong, the dogs taking my side, the dogs saying rogue,
Speaker 1: scary wrong, Okay, great, all right, we're just gonna all right,
Speaker 1: you can back out of that parking space. So you
Speaker 1: know what, I'll you know what, I'll ask my friend
Speaker 1: from Beverly Hills the next time they call you do that,
Speaker 1: all right now? Um, I wanted to just get one
Speaker 1: point across. I was looking through the top one podcasts
Speaker 1: of Heart Radio, and and I gotta I gotta say
Speaker 1: we are very raw. We we actually a lot of
Speaker 1: them are very They sound scripted. They're very like, okay,
Speaker 1: this and that and back and forth. We have a
Speaker 1: already different report. I think that's why we stand out. However,
Speaker 1: I did come across as one podcast. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to mention it. Uh no, no, no, not gonna give
Speaker 1: a name, especially because I'm about to tear into it.
Speaker 1: And I want your opinion on it, if you if
Speaker 1: let's say, okay to fellow podcasters, out there that may
Speaker 1: be listening, UM, don't do what these three girls did.
Speaker 1: These three girls on a random podcast, UM, I was
Speaker 1: listening to and they were telling stories about they were
Speaker 1: trying to be that famous podcast that I'm not going
Speaker 1: to mention, okay. But the difference between that podcast, the
Speaker 1: one that that's famous that we you know, like okay,
Speaker 1: and these three girls trying to do this is there
Speaker 1: was no there was nothing there they were. They were
Speaker 1: trying to tell stories, these juicy stories of when they
Speaker 1: all went to South Beach together or they were partying
Speaker 1: in in the Bahamas, and a hundred podcasts you just
Speaker 1: happened to come across this. I came across this podcast.
Speaker 1: You didn't come across the Murders three one. I know.
Speaker 1: I only go for comedy, so so listen, so so Brodie.
Speaker 1: They weren't they were telling stories and then they were.
Speaker 1: They weren't being specific, they weren't talking about specific times.
Speaker 1: They weren't being raw. These other podcasts that are really
Speaker 1: successful are really introspective and unapologetic, like they really leave
Speaker 1: their emotions out there and they allow themselves to be vulnerable.
Speaker 1: These three girls were. It was just shallow and I'm
Speaker 1: like you guys are you're never gonna get to the
Speaker 1: next level. And if you're a podcaster or potential podcaster
Speaker 1: or you want to do a podcast, you've got to
Speaker 1: tell personal stories, and you've got to allow people into
Speaker 1: your life, and you've gotta you've gotta roll with the punches,
Speaker 1: and you've got if you make mistakes and and and
Speaker 1: don't be bashful about it, and don't be angry or
Speaker 1: upset or embarrassed. The second you're embarrassed about saying something,
Speaker 1: podcasting is probably not for you. Unless was it the
Speaker 1: Don't Go There, Don't mina podcast? It's there were three
Speaker 1: girls talking know that the Shallow Chicks podcasts. But Buddy
Speaker 1: Garrett's Gatts Celebrity Buzz podcast is it forty two last week?
Speaker 1: It was like two weeks ago, it was like seven.
Speaker 1: He hasn't done one in six months. It's amazing he
Speaker 1: gets an episode from March. Is just racking up the hits.
Speaker 1: Uh So, anyway, Bertie, but do you understand what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: Like like I wanted so badly, I'm like from the
Speaker 1: title of the podcast, I was drawn in and all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I'm saying, like, come on, come on,
Speaker 1: tell me that story. I want to know the title
Speaker 1: of the podcast. We're talking about these juicy stories about
Speaker 1: what happened in the Bahamas, and I'm like, I thought
Speaker 1: they're gonna talk. But you know what the problem is,
Speaker 1: each one of these girls they have serious boyfriends, so
Speaker 1: they probably have guys that they don't want to offend,
Speaker 1: so they're holding back and they're not putting their heart
Speaker 1: and soul and really telling those stories like that other
Speaker 1: podcast does that is very successful. So and we tend
Speaker 1: to do a little bit of that here where we
Speaker 1: actually get into our lives. And I don't know, I'm
Speaker 1: just was it you and me both with Hillary Clinton? Podcast?
Speaker 1: Was that that one? No? It was because that I'm
Speaker 1: looking at the list. No, no, no, I'm not even
Speaker 1: gonna I'm not even don't even don't even go there.
Speaker 1: It was anyway, there were three girls talking and wait
Speaker 1: a minute, the podcast. Oh can I just say the
Speaker 1: podcast you always plug, which you shouldn't, is it? Number? Oh? Really?
Speaker 1: So at least on at least on my heart, we
Speaker 1: beat them. Yeah, but they're trending down right. But this
Speaker 1: podcast is an amazing podcast. The one that I'm not
Speaker 1: going to mention the other one anyway, because she she's amazing,
Speaker 1: she's she's filthy. She talks about all of all of
Speaker 1: her sex acts, everything she's done. She's stop it, stop
Speaker 1: promoting the other podcast. All right, But anyway, people want
Speaker 1: to be come on our podcast. The three girls want
Speaker 1: to be that, but they are so they don't. They're
Speaker 1: just very surface and it's just very them talking like
Speaker 1: they're talking on a phone to each other, like catching
Speaker 1: up with old friends and not really making a point
Speaker 1: like we are right now anyway. Um, can I just
Speaker 1: say one thing real quick? Um? Sure? And I don't
Speaker 1: know how to handle this. I got an email from
Speaker 1: the super of my building and he said it's holiday time.
Speaker 1: Oh no, No. This one was, hey, hey Anthony by
Speaker 1: my first name, Anthony, can you call me call this
Speaker 1: office when you can. I'm like, oh, what's that all about? Um?
Speaker 1: So I found out that somebody made a noise complaint
Speaker 1: against me yesterday. Yeah, that when you sat down on
Speaker 1: your couch and it went no I was in bed
Speaker 1: but like eight o'clock last night. And they're like, they're
Speaker 1: like jammon, They're like, you don't trying Are you trying
Speaker 1: to ask your own day? Party. I didn't even have
Speaker 1: a TV on. I wasn't watching Netflix. You can't ask
Speaker 1: your own day with the TV off. I didn't have
Speaker 1: my sonos going. Apparently they traced it back. They traced
Speaker 1: it back that it was a kid. They said their
Speaker 1: kid was running around. I said, why was their kid
Speaker 1: in your apartment? I said, I don't have a kid.
Speaker 1: Um said it wasn't me. I'm exonerated on the officer,
Speaker 1: I really was. I'm done. I'm out because it couldn't
Speaker 1: have been me. So the people apparently this lady below me,
Speaker 1: the lady below me, uh thinks she blamed it on
Speaker 1: my apartment and they're trying to track him down. I'm like, no, dude,
Speaker 1: I'm like, sorry, you know, call somebody else, Call the
Speaker 1: guy next to me, or downstairs, or who knows, maybe
Speaker 1: who knows where she was hearing it from. It could
Speaker 1: have been across the hall, but could you imagine she
Speaker 1: was pointing the accusatory finger. I don't even know this woman.
Speaker 1: She doesn't even live on my floor. But she said
Speaker 1: she was coming from her sea. It was coming from
Speaker 1: her ceiling. She must live right below you. She does,
Speaker 1: she can below me, So you're the you're the angry
Speaker 1: man upstairs like on Friends. Yeah, well with the broomstick
Speaker 1: and hitting the floor with it. Yeah, I live very long.
Speaker 1: You should be careful. Well, I am spoiler. The guy died.
Speaker 1: I'm off the hook because screw it, because I don't
Speaker 1: have a kid. They're like, oh, it was a kid crying,
Speaker 1: and it was a kid running across the floor. I
Speaker 1: don't have any of those, thank you. So I mean,
Speaker 1: were you riding your motorized scooter in the house. You're
Speaker 1: a douche. Um, No, I was not, all right, So anyway,
Speaker 1: I have to douche stories to begin of douches. I've
Speaker 1: had three problems with medical so called professionals, not doctors,
Speaker 1: people who work at doctor's offices. Okay, let me give
Speaker 1: me the first one. I have four. I was trying
Speaker 1: to pay my medical bill and uh, the the invoice
Speaker 1: says you can pay online at docmed dot com or
Speaker 1: you can call dochmed docmed, not achmed doc med. Right, Okay,
Speaker 1: So I call up and I push whatever number for
Speaker 1: the bill. Pay. By the way, this reminder, because it's
Speaker 1: happened five in a row now in the past two days.
Speaker 1: I'm just reminding you guys. I know you listen in order,
Speaker 1: but I'm reminding you. When you call a company and
Speaker 1: it says, please listen to all options, as our menu
Speaker 1: options have changed. Their fucking line. They're lying they've never
Speaker 1: ever changed, because nobody changes. They want you to hear
Speaker 1: him out. It's impossible that every company on the planet
Speaker 1: has recently, just this week, when you called change their
Speaker 1: menu options, they've changed. They have not four is always
Speaker 1: talked to somebody or whatever it is zero right one
Speaker 1: even know the extension parties it right or you should
Speaker 1: you should tell them I'm never going to you again.
Speaker 1: One of one of them accidentally makes leads you into
Speaker 1: the company voicemail, the internal vortex. You never get out
Speaker 1: of the kind of one of those. It was like
Speaker 1: none of the options with what I wanted. So I
Speaker 1: pushed one and it said like do you want a
Speaker 1: knife in the eye or should we shoot your kid?
Speaker 1: And I don't want to know one of those? How
Speaker 1: do you get out of it? There's no way to
Speaker 1: get Your call is being answered by audics, right, what
Speaker 1: U d I X? I guess anyway, So I get
Speaker 1: the bill pay woman on the phone and she says,
Speaker 1: can I help you see I like the family bill.
Speaker 1: You can go to docmd dot com. I said, you know,
Speaker 1: I know I can. In fact, that's where I got
Speaker 1: this number from. Right. But I but I'd like you
Speaker 1: to take my payment. Um, yeah, well I can take
Speaker 1: your payment. But it would be easier if you went
Speaker 1: to document dot so. I said, easier for who? Easier
Speaker 1: for me or easier for you? She says, well, we would,
Speaker 1: we would we she's well, we would prefer if you
Speaker 1: paid online. They yeah, So I said, oh, I totally
Speaker 1: get you prefer I pay online. But now that I'm
Speaker 1: on the phone with you, is that okay? I'd like
Speaker 1: to pay on the phone. She says, Well, your invoice
Speaker 1: actually says you can make a payment at document dot com. Yes,
Speaker 1: but it also says for billing questions and to make
Speaker 1: a payment called this number. So she says, is the
Speaker 1: site down? What does it make? Are you having trouble
Speaker 1: using the site? It's confusing sometimes for some people. You know,
Speaker 1: I do hold on, so, I said, I said, sure,
Speaker 1: you know what. The site stuck down. I'm quite capable
Speaker 1: when it comes to using a website and paying online.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I'm not near my computer. I'm driving in
Speaker 1: my car right now. There's no hidden agenda. I'm not
Speaker 1: a hundred and ten years old. I just to make
Speaker 1: a payment, Like your invoice says, will you please take
Speaker 1: my money? So she says, okay, I had to beg
Speaker 1: her to take my money. So yeah, I got I
Speaker 1: got more, I get more. Yeah, because then I have
Speaker 1: I have a solution to this. But give me the
Speaker 1: solution of that one, and I'll tell you my solution
Speaker 1: right there is. I say, yeah, you know what. I
Speaker 1: tried paying online, but it keep getting an error, and
Speaker 1: it keep going back and I keep going backspace, and
Speaker 1: I tried to No. No, you tell them that that
Speaker 1: that the website is fucked up, and that the last resort,
Speaker 1: and then rather than them trying to troubleshoot the problem,
Speaker 1: they'll just take your payment over the phone, because it
Speaker 1: works every time. No, because then I don't want I
Speaker 1: don't want to think, and I can't figure out the
Speaker 1: website because you know, she's not gonna think it's she
Speaker 1: doesn't know. I don't want to thinking. Uh, condescending. I'm
Speaker 1: sure it works, sir. You probably just didn't hit the
Speaker 1: big thing. They who cares? I don't care what they
Speaker 1: think as long as the end result is me getting
Speaker 1: to pay over the phone care if I get one
Speaker 1: over on them. I'm stories all the time to get
Speaker 1: your ship and get your way. Okay, So I was
Speaker 1: home there the night. I'm looking to pay my a
Speaker 1: my bill. We're gonna say it's for ABC. Okay, it's not.
Speaker 1: But it's ABC Medical Company. And at the very top,
Speaker 1: the very top, it says patients and visitors, choose a provider,
Speaker 1: pay a bill. Right you click pay a bill, it
Speaker 1: drops down all about ten inches and you get to
Speaker 1: a green box that says pay your ABC bill, choose
Speaker 1: the option to pay your bill uh and a ABC
Speaker 1: service renderer uh honor after September twelve, So after September twelve.
Speaker 1: This is where you click. So I click on it.
Speaker 1: It says enter your guaranteer number and your last name.
Speaker 1: So I enter the guarantee number and my last name,
Speaker 1: and it says party not found, Party not found, please
Speaker 1: check four oh four. Yeah, So I I retype the number.
Speaker 1: It's six digit number. Not to be a problem, and
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I know how to spell my name,
Speaker 1: but I thought maybe there's a space on the side.
Speaker 1: I didn't notice. I type it again. Patient not found,
Speaker 1: patient not found. So I'm like, oh, fuck. So I
Speaker 1: called the woman and she says, oh, I'm terribly sorry.
Speaker 1: We get a lot of complaints about that. I said, well,
Speaker 1: what's the problem. Go back to the main page and
Speaker 1: click pay your bill. I do that, and I get
Speaker 1: back to the green box, the big green box that
Speaker 1: says pay your ABC bill. She just don't click that. Okay,
Speaker 1: what do I do? Scroll down? Two more boxes, two
Speaker 1: big big boxes. Now the boxes are like eight inches
Speaker 1: wide by four inches high. She has scrawled down to
Speaker 1: the purple one. I scrolled down to the purple one.
Speaker 1: Here are the options on the purple one. ABC provider offices,
Speaker 1: ABC Medical Center, ABC General Hospital, ABC Memorial Hospital. Do
Speaker 1: any of those sounds like pay a bill? She says,
Speaker 1: Click that and you'll be able to pay your bill.
Speaker 1: How would I know that, Yes, sir, we don't. We
Speaker 1: have a lot of complaints about that. So fuck you,
Speaker 1: ABC Medical because your website sucks. Ass. Because I said
Speaker 1: to her, instead of saying patient not found, how about
Speaker 1: it says click the purple box. Our website sucks. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: So now I call up I needed a certain type
Speaker 1: of doctor, Okay, I needed I needed a doctor. I was,
Speaker 1: I was feeling very uncomfortable on Friday. Uh, what's today?
Speaker 1: Today's Monday? Yeah, so Friday, I try to get an
Speaker 1: appointment for a specific type of specialist, right, and uh, well,
Speaker 1: obviously that's redundant. But okay, So I need a specialist,
Speaker 1: and I call up the highest rated one and I said, Hi,
Speaker 1: I'm interested in becoming a new patient. I see her
Speaker 1: accepting new patients. I'm anna, I'm attle bit of discomfort,
Speaker 1: like to make an appointment for today, tomorrow or Monday.
Speaker 1: What do you have for me? Uh? She had a
Speaker 1: West Indian accent. I'm saying that because the pardon the story.
Speaker 1: She says, the best I can do is December nine.
Speaker 1: So so I said, December nine, I'll be dead by then.
Speaker 1: As a joke. She goes, well, then go to the
Speaker 1: e R and she hangs up on holy sh it, rude, rude, rude.
Speaker 1: So I called back and I get a woman who's
Speaker 1: not does not have a West Indian accent, and I said, Hi,
Speaker 1: can I speak to the person in charge of uh,
Speaker 1: you know, the people here at the front. She's I'm
Speaker 1: I'm the supervisor. I canna help you. So I said, well,
Speaker 1: I just spoke to a woman with a West Indian
Speaker 1: a Caribbean accent of some kind. Um. Oh yeah, huh,
Speaker 1: and I tell her the story. She just she said,
Speaker 1: what to you? I said, yeah, I said. She could
Speaker 1: have said, oh, I'm terribly sorry. I a feeling well,
Speaker 1: I wish we had an appointment for you. My recommendation
Speaker 1: as you go to an emergency room. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: thank you, Yes, have a nice day. She said, go
Speaker 1: to the emergency room then and hung up on me.
Speaker 1: So I called back, and I spoke to our boss,
Speaker 1: who may I'm not do anything, but I just thought, okay.
Speaker 1: So now I call my primary care physician and he says,
Speaker 1: go to a dock in a box urgent care. Right.
Speaker 1: So I go to the urgent care Saturday around noon,
Speaker 1: the one that's highly recommended I've been to before. There's
Speaker 1: a line outside. I tell the security god, I'm there,
Speaker 1: uh to have such and such looked at. He says, oh,
Speaker 1: those people are online for COVID testing. You can go
Speaker 1: right in. I walk into the lobby. Two people come
Speaker 1: at me, dumb as a brickman with very short pants,
Speaker 1: high socks. He thinks that you don't know that that's
Speaker 1: COVID that he thinks you're going for a COVID test, right,
Speaker 1: He's right, I said, the lines for COVID testing. I'm
Speaker 1: here for that. So the two of them come at
Speaker 1: me with a clipboard and she starts taking my temperature right,
Speaker 1: doing the whole your nuclear reactive you know. Okay, So
Speaker 1: I said, what what? What's the problem? So I said, well,
Speaker 1: this is what's bothering me? And uh, I was, I'm
Speaker 1: looking to come in and see a doctor who can
Speaker 1: at least maybe give me an X ray something whatever.
Speaker 1: She says, uh, yeah, urgent care is close today. I said,
Speaker 1: what says you can come back on Monday? Urgent care
Speaker 1: is closed? I said, what kind of urgent care? And
Speaker 1: if the name itself says urgent, what do you mean
Speaker 1: you're closed? Yeah, we're overloaded, we're closed and were closed.
Speaker 1: I said, by definition, this is urgent, that's and I
Speaker 1: want some care. And she says, I'm terribly sorry, sir,
Speaker 1: we're closed. Well wait, are there doctors? Just if you'd like,
Speaker 1: I can have a doctor come out explain to you
Speaker 1: why we're closed. How will that help me? But wait
Speaker 1: a second, is the doctor on the premises couldn't he
Speaker 1: be working or she We don't know what could be there.
Speaker 1: It could be Sam Smith right right there, right well,
Speaker 1: then I would have thought to multiple doctors there anyway,
Speaker 1: I said, So if the doctor comes out and tells
Speaker 1: me why you're closed, will that help me get an appointment? No?
Speaker 1: Will it make me feel better? No? Will they have
Speaker 1: time to diagnose me? But they have plenty time to
Speaker 1: give you the runaround, I said, And all this time
Speaker 1: I could have seen a doctor as you should take
Speaker 1: some construction paper and cover up the word urgent and
Speaker 1: the red the red X, the Red Cross. This is
Speaker 1: not urgent care. So this is what I get. Come
Speaker 1: back to Seve nineteen. Come back at on Monday, she says.
Speaker 1: You can come back time day, but you have to
Speaker 1: do here. She says, come back Monday eight am. I
Speaker 1: can't get here Monday eight am. I work on Monday's says, well,
Speaker 1: if you want to see a patient, doctor, have come
Speaker 1: early in the morning. They said, But it's urgent care.
Speaker 1: That's the beauty of urgent cakes. Not no, that urgent.
Speaker 1: It's only urgent on their terms, right, She says, If
Speaker 1: you want, you can make an appointment. Who makes an
Speaker 1: appointment for urgent care. Then it's not that urgent. If
Speaker 1: you could make an appointment for urgent care, you have
Speaker 1: time to wait around. That doesn't make any sense. You'll
Speaker 1: be dead by December six. That's like making a reservation
Speaker 1: for fast food. I don't want it tomorrow at eight o'clock.
Speaker 1: I wanted now at the window. I'll blame you. Or
Speaker 1: you could pull up and then they could say you
Speaker 1: want don't you wait in this parking space over right
Speaker 1: like fast food? Go park, go park? All urgent. We
Speaker 1: have to take a break. That's fine, do it right now.
Speaker 1: We don't have a lot of time left. That was
Speaker 1: just our first commercial break. Yes, so we'll do We'll
Speaker 1: do a shorty thing here. Well uh yeah, but I
Speaker 1: got some listeners who wants some things. Man, are you
Speaker 1: spending Thanksgiving? By the way, did you do side? Yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm a family of five and the five of us
Speaker 1: will be having Thanksgiving at home. We've already ordered the food.
Speaker 1: It's good. Here's my my one problem with Thanksgiving this year? Well,
Speaker 1: I would say almost every year. I have failed. I
Speaker 1: have failed to raise my kids as patriotic American Thanksgiving eaters.
Speaker 1: And my wife and are the two kids don't eat turkey?
Speaker 1: What now, don't tweet me. I know the Pilgrims mostly
Speaker 1: dear right there. Yeah, well you wouldn't get to an altar,
Speaker 1: so let's not let's not kid just but I can't
Speaker 1: believe it, proty, it's such as I mean, I know
Speaker 1: the kind of family that you have and like to
Speaker 1: got married. We first got married up until my kids
Speaker 1: were old enough to have an opinion. My wife made
Speaker 1: delicious turkeys. She would get creative every year with stuffing.
Speaker 1: One year she made a roasted red peppercorn stuffing and
Speaker 1: then of course the Pepperie farm stuffing that's a given
Speaker 1: that goes in the bird. That's where I like it, Samonella,
Speaker 1: bring it on. She'd always make the regular stuffing for
Speaker 1: me and then get like a fun stuffing. She made
Speaker 1: a sausage stuff in one year that was outrageous. My wife,
Speaker 1: it really just doesn't love cooking. She's a very good cook.
Speaker 1: But then at some point the switch went off and
Speaker 1: she decided, you know what, I don't like turkey. Why
Speaker 1: am I making a twelve pound turkey or an eight
Speaker 1: pound whatever it was? Uh? David's anyone that eats it?
Speaker 1: So uh you know, if my in laws and my
Speaker 1: parents came for dinner back in the day, it was
Speaker 1: more people eating turkey. But once it became the Brody
Speaker 1: family clan of the Five, there's no turkey. So we
Speaker 1: are having steak dinner, no thanks to you, scary steak
Speaker 1: dinner with some standard Thanksgiving trimmings. So something yeah, right,
Speaker 1: stuffed inside right if I could, I, if I could
Speaker 1: put fried rice, put that in the fried rice vegetables
Speaker 1: in the dark would be No, we're gonna have like, uh,
Speaker 1: we're getting roots, Chris sweet potato pie. Yeah. Well that's
Speaker 1: like that fla sweet potato pie at the marshmallows sitting
Speaker 1: in the brown sugar and everything. Yeah, so we're getting that,
Speaker 1: and then from the restaurant we're getting all kinds of
Speaker 1: like uh, some vegetables of corn. So you guys aren't
Speaker 1: even you're not putting the bird in the oven. So
Speaker 1: I'm trying to find a turkey leg, you know, somewhere
Speaker 1: at a local restaurants. I just get a turkey leg.
Speaker 1: I like my King Hamry Day turkey leg. Well, my sister,
Speaker 1: just by the way, does not make my vegan door
Speaker 1: very happy when I'm munching down on a leg. But
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? Listen, let her, let her
Speaker 1: watch and say, look, this is how it is, this
Speaker 1: is how it was back in mind. My sister decided
Speaker 1: not to come to Thanksgiving. She's like, she's sitting out
Speaker 1: because she because of COVID times. And that's fair. We
Speaker 1: already times. Yeah, so there's no one around you. You
Speaker 1: are just buy yourself here anyway? Good? Yeah, so the
Speaker 1: only only one here's probably about it. You're the only
Speaker 1: one here. Maybe a listener can submit a lyric. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's literally don't do that. You'll you'll actually piss prody off. No,
Speaker 1: you won't piss me off. I just let's go. It's good. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's good. It's good. Not gonna use it. Uh So
Speaker 1: I went to good. I went to get a COVID
Speaker 1: test today. So I'm standing in line. Did they laugh
Speaker 1: and just say yes? Yeah? Right. So I'm standing in line,
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, the temperature drops like fifteen
Speaker 1: degrees and I'm waiting the outdoor temperature, the temperature of
Speaker 1: the outdoors. We were outside. I was outside. It's yours.
Speaker 1: That's a problem standing out there. I give you an
Speaker 1: urgent cat fifteen fifteen degrees in the hour I was
Speaker 1: standing there, I could not fucking believe it. I'm like,
Speaker 1: if if this fucking thing is gonna kind of negative,
Speaker 1: but I get a goddamn cold or get the flu
Speaker 1: from standing out here, would that be a coincidence or
Speaker 1: would that be I irony? It would be ironic. It
Speaker 1: would be ironic. Right, But you got sick? While are
Speaker 1: you trying to if you started to say, see if
Speaker 1: I'm sick, I got sick, right, So I'm sitting there,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I better not catch a cold. But anyway
Speaker 1: that you have my results on Wednesday, and if I'm
Speaker 1: all clear Thursday, i'll be I'll be at the Thanksgiving table.
Speaker 1: Until then, I'm gonna quarantine. Yeah, well you bet a
Speaker 1: quarantine because otherwise it's useless that you got right. Well,
Speaker 1: I got it, Yeah, I got it today, you know,
Speaker 1: And uh, you know I'll be with my my mom
Speaker 1: and dad, and you know, uh, my brother will be
Speaker 1: there because my brother and my sister in law just
Speaker 1: got over COVID, so they got their negative tests and
Speaker 1: they're bringing the baby over and s just gonna sit
Speaker 1: home and we're just gonna just drop Stephen with the
Speaker 1: no Italian name is the good one. Right, We're gonna
Speaker 1: drop food on the doorstep from my sister, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: walk it over to the house, and and that's it.
Speaker 1: I just I'm i gotta say, Brodie, I'm bummed. I'm
Speaker 1: bummed because there's such a divide and I know that
Speaker 1: the families across America and people are listening to this
Speaker 1: right now here Thanksgiving week saying there's that one person
Speaker 1: in the family who's not coming or they're just or
Speaker 1: other or families like, you know what, we're gonna do
Speaker 1: it virtual this year. Don't do his Zoom Thanksgiving, just
Speaker 1: don't have it at all. That No, don't be ridiculous.
Speaker 1: If you're gonna be zoom like involved, listen to great
Speaker 1: He did that for Passover in Easter. So what if
Speaker 1: Aunt Stacy, Aunt Marjorie can't make it and the e
Speaker 1: m I don't tweet me Aunt Stacy the pizza owner.
Speaker 1: That's that's why I said. I was like, no, it's
Speaker 1: the pizza. If Aunt Marjorie has someone who can help
Speaker 1: her get on Zoom, eventually she can sit down. It's
Speaker 1: so cute, you best as it's just not the same
Speaker 1: and we did that. We've been down that road before.
Speaker 1: I just you know, and that's not COVID fatigue. But
Speaker 1: we're all trying to be safe. And you know, obviously,
Speaker 1: you know, God forbid, I don't want to get my
Speaker 1: parents sick. But you know, this would have been the
Speaker 1: first year that our family would have been intact because
Speaker 1: you know, Jack My my my brother's kid is just
Speaker 1: turning one because he she was in the hospital with
Speaker 1: him last year at this time for Thanksgiving, so they
Speaker 1: didn't make Thanksgiving at all. So this would have been
Speaker 1: a complete family thing and it would have been awesome.
Speaker 1: But that's not happening. And you know, Aunt Millie can't
Speaker 1: come over this time. We just it's too dangerous, too risky,
Speaker 1: so we're really keeping it tight um. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean I feel for people that that had to make
Speaker 1: the tough decision to either not have it or do
Speaker 1: a zoom situation. I mean, of course we kid, you know,
Speaker 1: I kid about not having a zoom you know, I
Speaker 1: just I'm bored of it. I don't want zoom. I
Speaker 1: don't want to zoom in. I want to either. I
Speaker 1: want to zoom in on like in real life. I
Speaker 1: want to zoom in on that fucking turkey all right,
Speaker 1: speaking a zoom, speaking as I understand your point, um,
Speaker 1: speaking a zoom. You know how Instagram destroyed vine by
Speaker 1: going from six seconds to fifteen and then Instagram took
Speaker 1: a dent out of Snapchat because they started doing video
Speaker 1: stories stories, right ye? And uh so now Facebook yesterday,
Speaker 1: So the first commercial with um, what's her name? What's
Speaker 1: the woman who used to be on SNL. She's one
Speaker 1: of the ghostbusters. I don't know, big black woman. It's
Speaker 1: her name, Leslie Jones. Leslie Jones. Yeah, sorry, she's large.
Speaker 1: That's all all right anyway, Leslie Jones on a commercial
Speaker 1: for Facebook's answer to Zoom. Oh boy, So yeah, you're boy,
Speaker 1: you guys late, well, you know, And and now Instagram
Speaker 1: is is stealing is stealing time the fleet, the fleets.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no, no, Twitter, Twitter stealing from Snapchat,
Speaker 1: Snapchat the fleet. So so now now you can go
Speaker 1: on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat and do stories with the fleet,
Speaker 1: and with Instagram you can do reels, which is they've
Speaker 1: ripped off of TikTok, and now you can probably pretty
Speaker 1: soon you can probably do like the real thing on
Speaker 1: Facebook as well. Right now, I have a question. I
Speaker 1: got the update alert. Now I have all my updates
Speaker 1: on auto update except Instagram because every time Instagram updates,
Speaker 1: they ruined them. They ruin the icon, they ruin it,
Speaker 1: and they ruin the layout. Well they because because where
Speaker 1: where it used to be, where it used to be
Speaker 1: your your heart, where you used to see who who said?
Speaker 1: What about you? That that that's the all important button. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the notification button. Right, they've replaced it with the shopping bag,
Speaker 1: those smart bastards. So you accidentally hit it thinking that
Speaker 1: you're going to that most popular spot. It takes you
Speaker 1: to the It takes you to the store of Instagram
Speaker 1: and a notification but at the top right now that yeah,
Speaker 1: they fuck. They did the biggest switch on Android owners.
Speaker 1: You don't have to update if you don't want to,
Speaker 1: just turn off auto update. No, but isn't it isn't
Speaker 1: that sick the way they did it. It's like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I haven't seen it. They're gonna realize that
Speaker 1: the most touched button is that bottom right area where
Speaker 1: that heart was, because that's where everybody wants to go
Speaker 1: forget it. So instead, like, hey, let's replace that with
Speaker 1: a link directly to our instagrams. You know, on on
Speaker 1: Android you can replace the icons with your own icon.
Speaker 1: So guess what my my Instagram icon is the original
Speaker 1: Instagram icon. Fuck you Instagram, what you circle your circle
Speaker 1: and you figuring awful Orangeine. I don't recommend not doing
Speaker 1: the update, especially for things like Google Chrome or Zoom
Speaker 1: and even Instagram because of you. Listen, you called bullshit
Speaker 1: the bug fixes no no, no security issues, security issues.
Speaker 1: Just recently, not a last week. I heard that. You know,
Speaker 1: you're heards trying to jump in. Everyone's just trying to
Speaker 1: like like crack the codes and whatever and steal your information.
Speaker 1: So every you should always heard. All right, you shoul
Speaker 1: always update. Speaking of hacked, my my aunt got hacked.
Speaker 1: I got an email from her that said, let me
Speaker 1: see if I get the exact email, then I want
Speaker 1: to talk to you about Uh. I didn't talk about
Speaker 1: the stumpies because I tease the stumpies, and we got
Speaker 1: talking about a listener who's no longer I have sound too.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, let me get hold on, hold on,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get and your dog's gonna start barking and
Speaker 1: you're gonna leave and then okay, So my aunt allegedly
Speaker 1: emails me. Could you please email me back? No? Said sorry,
Speaker 1: could you please email back to me? Question mark, I
Speaker 1: need a favor sent from my I. Okayte when people
Speaker 1: do that, just put the question back, uh, I said,
Speaker 1: I said, listen, um, hey, what do you want me
Speaker 1: to do with emailing you back? Aunt? Whatever? I'm confused.
Speaker 1: Just ask me what you want and I'll email you
Speaker 1: a response. I'm sure I will say yes. So here,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking she's just older woman who doesn't like Why
Speaker 1: would you do that? Now? She's not my close aunt,
Speaker 1: she's more like you know what, She's more like my
Speaker 1: mother's cousin. So she's really like my older cousin. She's
Speaker 1: my second cousin, well, my first cousins. An impossible favor.
Speaker 1: She's good to hear from you. Hope all is well
Speaker 1: with you. I need to get iTunes gift cards from
Speaker 1: my niece. It's her birthday. But I can't do this
Speaker 1: now because I'm currently traveling. Can you get it for
Speaker 1: me from any store around you. I'll reimburse you when
Speaker 1: I get back home. Scam scam. No one would ask
Speaker 1: you to No one would ask you to get card
Speaker 1: for my niece. I'm not. I'm not her go to
Speaker 1: someone backed into her account. She's got kids and grandkids
Speaker 1: old enough to do it for her. She doesn't. I don't.
Speaker 1: Wasn't her behind the email? No? So I texted, I'm like,
Speaker 1: did you get hacked? She's like, yep, I got hacked.
Speaker 1: So the latest scam going round. It's a Scamboni, big Scamboni.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, there was No, that's a Scamboni email. Yeah
Speaker 1: I knew. I knew, So don't answer those questions. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I want to say, I guess I this is irrelevant
Speaker 1: because he claims he's not listening anymore. Um, this is
Speaker 1: my my one political statement I'm gonna make on this podcast. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I hate politics. I know, I just hate them all.
Speaker 1: I just hate politics in general. He's scary and eye
Speaker 1: really don't discuss who we like we don't like. I'll
Speaker 1: make little jokes every once in a while, but you know,
Speaker 1: I don't throw my opinions out there. Because my opinions
Speaker 1: and if you agree with me and you want to,
Speaker 1: you know, we interact on social media because you you
Speaker 1: have an idea who I might be a fan of.
Speaker 1: That's fine, you know, if you if you open up
Speaker 1: the dialogue in a positive way, that's fine. And if
Speaker 1: you disagree with me, it's fine. I'm not interested, but
Speaker 1: I'm fine, it's fine, you know. And listen, there's a
Speaker 1: lot of people in sports, there's a lot of people
Speaker 1: in music, a lot of people in Hollywood that I
Speaker 1: may have been not agree with politically, but you go
Speaker 1: to them for some things, for certain things, right, the
Speaker 1: same way people come to this podcast to get away
Speaker 1: from all that ship. Right. So and then, because well,
Speaker 1: i'll tell you where it's going, I don't know where
Speaker 1: you're going with this. About two weeks ago, an Instagram
Speaker 1: post of someone I follow put a picture of themselves
Speaker 1: up with another politician to politicians, and I commented as
Speaker 1: me because it's my private life. I commented on the
Speaker 1: two of them, and I said something positive about two
Speaker 1: of them because I like both of them. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: my guess is someone who listens to this podcast, I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna give out their name, um, follows one of
Speaker 1: the politicians possibly, and you know at the topics is liked. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's people you know you follow, right, So this
Speaker 1: person follows me, right, Okay, it must have been like, oh,
Speaker 1: I wonder what David Brody said about these politicians? Right,
Speaker 1: you cursed him out? No, this person wrote back at
Speaker 1: David Brody ain't listening to Brooklyn boys anymore? Now, all right,
Speaker 1: fair enough? Now they still follow me, so they didn't
Speaker 1: unfollow me. Well, now after hearing this podcast, because I'm
Speaker 1: not disparaging them, I said, I know, but we don't.
Speaker 1: But we don't get like. See, that's really that's really shortsighted.
Speaker 1: You know, of course it is extremely shortsighted of a person.
Speaker 1: Fact and why and why is who I like? Politically?
Speaker 1: How you determine where you get yourtained from. But we
Speaker 1: don't talk about that stuff. So, but if you're a
Speaker 1: Yankee fan and I hate the Yankees and I'm a
Speaker 1: Mets fan, but we don't stop listening because you're a
Speaker 1: Yankee fan. You don't come here for sports talk radio.
Speaker 1: We don't do that. And even if your kids talking
Speaker 1: educated sports talk radio man, well whatever, well, don't stop
Speaker 1: listening to the podcast because you you disagree with two
Speaker 1: politicians I happen to think are doing, did do or
Speaker 1: could do a good job, or whatever the case is.
Speaker 1: That's my personal life. I'm not gonna I will say
Speaker 1: this though, you're using your public forum Twitter to protect
Speaker 1: your opinion Instagram Instagram. No, no, no, I didn't post
Speaker 1: a picture of them like something. I know, I know,
Speaker 1: I know you and look at these guys. I love them.
Speaker 1: I commented on their picture, I know. But the thing,
Speaker 1: you know, there's hold on you know any other people
Speaker 1: commented at the time well or liked it. Three I
Speaker 1: would think I can be buried under three hundred six
Speaker 1: thousand other people where I can give an opinion and say, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't jump in that arena. I don't play you.
Speaker 1: You don't. I don't play that sandbox. Ever, No, listen,
Speaker 1: not gonna find a politically charged comment for me anywhere ever,
Speaker 1: And this was politely charged. I just two people like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not like it's I'm not liking anything. I know
Speaker 1: you're not. Hey, you see what the Hope did allegedly
Speaker 1: know what? So he Pope got on Instagram about two
Speaker 1: weeks ago, right, and then about a week ago, about
Speaker 1: a week ago, the week ago, the Pope's private account
Speaker 1: that allegedly the Pope runs liked a photograph by a
Speaker 1: smoking hot Brazilian models hanging out of her shorts. That's great, well,
Speaker 1: he of course, he denied it and said we're gonna
Speaker 1: so they've launched a full investigation. What if he accidentally
Speaker 1: liked it, Well, the question would be why was he
Speaker 1: on that page? But you're not. There's nothing wrong with
Speaker 1: wrong with it. It wasn't coming a crime. She's of age.
Speaker 1: But you know what, the Good Book doesn't tell you
Speaker 1: can do that. Why not? Don't know, because it's against
Speaker 1: the rule. He's not supposed to get married. He can't. Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: this is Rember. Remember I told you that's supposed to
Speaker 1: be sexual. Remember I told you last week about Gus,
Speaker 1: the movie Gus. Yes, there was nothing in the rules
Speaker 1: about a horse being able to kick field goals in
Speaker 1: high school footb a game. There is, I guarantee. I've
Speaker 1: never read the Bible. I guarantee there's nothing in the
Speaker 1: Bible about the pope liking the picture of a hot
Speaker 1: girl on Instagram. There probably isn't, but you know, it's
Speaker 1: just an unspoken rule. You don't do that for the
Speaker 1: for that guy, and that it doesn't matter though I
Speaker 1: don't care. I'm not offended by it. I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: runfollow the Pope. But I'm actually actually so right. So
Speaker 1: can you imagine can you imagine some bishop who like
Speaker 1: handles his social media like accidentally liked the picture, like
Speaker 1: like you you're in trouble, like you're gonna get you know,
Speaker 1: cup in the bishop? Yeah, what's banked? Well paddled? Whatever
Speaker 1: the nuns do? Can I hold on? Let's play the sound.
Speaker 1: But before that we got a commercial break. God damn it,
Speaker 1: you are a bad time time keeper. Yeah, that God
Speaker 1: damn it was not connected to the previous conversation. God.
Speaker 1: I also don't know why that's offensive to some people.
Speaker 1: What God, damn it? You're asking God to damn something right.
Speaker 1: It's apparently it's a very very big thing, especially in
Speaker 1: the South. It's it's a curse. And the fact when
Speaker 1: I first started at the morning show, I didn't think
Speaker 1: it was a bit a big problem. And I was
Speaker 1: always told when in the editing room, whenever I hear
Speaker 1: God not get amn together, I have to beep out.
Speaker 1: Who else could damn it? No one else could damn it?
Speaker 1: If you want something damn to hell, right, I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: God's in charge of damn it the wrong one. I don't.
Speaker 1: By the way, don't tweet me I'm not. I'm just
Speaker 1: I prefer not to know. I just I find it
Speaker 1: to be. There's so many worse things politics, religion on
Speaker 1: one podcast. This is the one. This is the one
Speaker 1: that jumps to show I'm not no no, no, no. Hey.
Speaker 1: By the way, I know this a short episode, but
Speaker 1: we do have a couple of pieces to the sound
Speaker 1: that we wanted to do real quick and then sound
Speaker 1: and then by the way, we are going to continue
Speaker 1: on the roll call next week, but not this week.
Speaker 1: The roll call of names of people who've purchased from
Speaker 1: the Brooklyn Boys, and I owe one of our purchases
Speaker 1: an apology, which I will give her next week. If
Speaker 1: you've purchased some merch in the Brooken Boys, you will
Speaker 1: hear the shout out of your name and town as
Speaker 1: a thank you. Let me play this sound. I want
Speaker 1: you to get the sound ready with the letter case Gary.
Speaker 1: I want to play the sound first. This is this is.
Speaker 1: If you never saw the movie, you at least know
Speaker 1: the phrase, you at least know the commercial. It was
Speaker 1: a very popular movie trailer, Um here we go. Okay.
Speaker 1: That was that was released The Cracking Clash of the Titans.
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, and that's what's his name from? Give me
Speaker 1: back my son? Um? What's his face? U? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, the name eludes me right now? Oh ship,
Speaker 1: what's his face? Michael Douglas? Are you serious? Give me
Speaker 1: back my son? No? Yeah, I don't know what's his face?
Speaker 1: I don't know. You tell me really, do you know? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Liam Neeson, give me back by side. You're thinking a
Speaker 1: brave heart. Mel Gibson yells Mel Gibson movie. He's like,
Speaker 1: give me back my Douglas. Nous mel Giblets. Okay, so yesterday, Um,
Speaker 1: Garrett hake b h a K. Yes, yes, he said
Speaker 1: this on the news. Whether it was her commentary about
Speaker 1: releasing a creaking of voter fraud claims. Right, so, one
Speaker 1: of one of the president's lawyers said, I'm going to
Speaker 1: release the cracking. So when he reported the story, he said,
Speaker 1: release the creaking. So I tweeted him that clip. I'm like, hey, Garrett,
Speaker 1: just so you know it's it's cracking. Famous back he was,
Speaker 1: because I'm awfully sorry because I messed up. Now has
Speaker 1: a couple of other pieces. Okay, So are you a
Speaker 1: fan of hip hop, then you will understand the the
Speaker 1: Gucci comment. This was tonight on the news talking about
Speaker 1: a a rap battle where thousands of people showed up
Speaker 1: and none of them were by the way, hold on, now,
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not gonna stereotype. But the woman on
Speaker 1: the news, on the cable news clearly not a fan
Speaker 1: of hip hop, a scholar of hip hop. I've heard
Speaker 1: her allude to other rappers before, so I assumed she
Speaker 1: she must have. Okay, sometimes they read off teleprompters and
Speaker 1: soever typed it must have typed this. But but she
Speaker 1: didn't correct herself, which means she doesn't know who this
Speaker 1: person is. So politically Atlanta and after party for hold, no, no,
Speaker 1: not loud enough. No, it's loud. It's loud as loud
Speaker 1: as it's gonna go, my friend. But people can seven
Speaker 1: people get here? A million? All right, if you're quiet enough,
Speaker 1: people fucking here? Okay, Last week in Atlanta and after
Speaker 1: party for a virtual rap battle between rappers Gucci Man
Speaker 1: and Young Jeezy, my favorite superhero rapper, The Adventures of
Speaker 1: Gucci Man. It's Gucci Main, It's Gucci Gucci Man, Gucci Manucci,
Speaker 1: Gucci Gucci Gang. Okay, and then we have this one
Speaker 1: here and I know it's not not related to Daddy Gang.
Speaker 1: This is definitely daddy gang. Okay, this one right over here. Okay,
Speaker 1: I know what this is. You've heard, you've heard. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is terrible. You've heard the expression the jig is up.
Speaker 1: What it means is if you don't know expressing, the
Speaker 1: jig is up, it's with a j And what it
Speaker 1: means is the crime. It's over. It's done right with
Speaker 1: the cops bust into the bank. The jig is up. Right,
Speaker 1: the scam you were trying to pull off, they caught you.
Speaker 1: The jig is up. That guy used my mom's credit
Speaker 1: card and I stopped him and canceled his order. Buddy,
Speaker 1: here is another newscaster, let's say, on the same network.
Speaker 1: Another two. Let's see, let's see how she mangles this expression.
Speaker 1: Is there any sense there um that the gig is up?
Speaker 1: The gig is up, The gig is a job, the
Speaker 1: gig got the gig was Gucci man, the gig. It's
Speaker 1: not the gig is up, it's the jig is up.
Speaker 1: There is no way, yeah, all around, all right, Well,
Speaker 1: none of those are as bad as gun Ho from
Speaker 1: last week. Gun Ho, God damn it. You know. Oh,
Speaker 1: by the way, Um, I know it is it is
Speaker 1: that again that back to Thanksgiving for a second. Um,
Speaker 1: I read an article that they're having a run on
Speaker 1: small turkeys, that were small turkeys are sold out everywhere.
Speaker 1: Two people send me the article. I did a phone
Speaker 1: tap about five years ago. Right, Well, Brodie, Brodie the
Speaker 1: tap trying to sell a guy. Well, they the wife
Speaker 1: sent the husband to get a twenty two pound turkey,
Speaker 1: twenty two pound turkeys, and I called and said her
Speaker 1: twenty two pound turkeys aready, and when he freaked out
Speaker 1: of the two pounds. Right, But here's the thing in
Speaker 1: real life, I just so happened that small turkeys, I
Speaker 1: guess the small the eight pounders, six pounders, ten pounders.
Speaker 1: By the way, how small do they go? How small
Speaker 1: do they go? They must I guess six eight pounds.
Speaker 1: What's the smallest turkey that you can get? Like a
Speaker 1: young fresh young turn like a chick, like like a hatchling,
Speaker 1: like I don't know, I don't know. Whatever it is.
Speaker 1: A baby turkey is called a poult, a pulse poult
Speaker 1: the O U L t if if you think about it.
Speaker 1: How do I know that? Because I wrote a I
Speaker 1: wrote a trivia turkey trivia for the Morning show. That's
Speaker 1: one of the questions if if you think about if
Speaker 1: you think about it for a quick second. Um, and
Speaker 1: that's because there's such small gatherings. Everyone's keeping it tight. Uh.
Speaker 1: That's why all the small turkeys are sold out. So
Speaker 1: all the small turkeys, but the big ones they get
Speaker 1: to roam free. I guess that they got another year left.
Speaker 1: They're like, fuck it, I'm good I survived this year. Well,
Speaker 1: the president is supposed to pardon two turkeys today or tomorrow. Well, no,
Speaker 1: I think it's one. You pardon one turkey. I think
Speaker 1: one year President Obama was supposed to choose between them,
Speaker 1: and he pardoned both of them. I think it was Obama.
Speaker 1: Doesn't matter. Uh. But they're saying again, I don't have
Speaker 1: this any truth to it, that the president is preoccupied
Speaker 1: and may have canceled his appointment to pardon the turkey.
Speaker 1: I don't like if the vice president can do that.
Speaker 1: I don't know if the vice president can officially presidentially
Speaker 1: pardon because I think and I didn't you know there
Speaker 1: there's another trivia question on on the trivia question, the
Speaker 1: first president to officially not just give him a pass,
Speaker 1: officially give a presidential pardon to a turkey. President Reagan
Speaker 1: that yeah, all right, well you know that, and Kennedy
Speaker 1: first want to say, fine, let the turkey live, but
Speaker 1: written so I don't think the vice president can write
Speaker 1: a presidential pardon. Well, I think Trump is gonna definitely
Speaker 1: pardon a turkey. He will, I promise. Although all right,
Speaker 1: by the way, um, have you heard of pike cakin.
Speaker 1: We've heard of We've heard of tur ducan. Right, it's
Speaker 1: a turkey. It's it's a duck inside of a chicken,
Speaker 1: inside of a turkey altogether. There's a there's a company
Speaker 1: out there. There's a few companies that make picking and
Speaker 1: a duck. Right, yeah, pie caking, And what it is
Speaker 1: is a it's it's it's death. No, no, it's it's
Speaker 1: it's pumpkin pie in the middle, spice cake on top up,
Speaker 1: all layered together with cinnamon butter cream and top with
Speaker 1: apple pie filling, pie cake in I need to get
Speaker 1: my hands in pie cake pie. It's called pike caking,
Speaker 1: but it's pike cake pie based on what you just described. Well,
Speaker 1: that's where I was going with this, But go for it.
Speaker 1: You can't call it. You can't it's called pie cake, piecake, pie,
Speaker 1: piecake kill because it's pie once again, it is. It
Speaker 1: is a trying to make it sound like ducking, try
Speaker 1: and do the tur ducan thing, but really the only
Speaker 1: cake in there is the spice cake. It's really pecan.
Speaker 1: It's pecan pie. Pumpkin. Oh no, it's three pies and
Speaker 1: a cake. So it's pecan pie on the bottom. Try pie.
Speaker 1: Hold on, wait, try piecake. He can't pie in the bottom,
Speaker 1: pumpkin pie in the middle, spice cake on the top,
Speaker 1: all later together with cinnamon, buttercream and apple pie. So
Speaker 1: that's that's pie pie pie Cake's what's three times pie? Ah?
Speaker 1: The math nuts are going crazy right now? Pie? Isn't
Speaker 1: it three point one four times three? No? Three point
Speaker 1: pie equals? But try pie, try pie, triple pie. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying why. Yeah, the cake in doesn't make any
Speaker 1: sense because there's no end. Well, it's it's kate. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I understand they putting the ant onto sounding like they're ducking,
Speaker 1: but you're ducking right, pie cake. It's tri pie cake
Speaker 1: in if anything, but it's technically pipe pie cake pie
Speaker 1: and I would love it. It's pipe cake pie or
Speaker 1: is it pie? Cake pie Pie Pie Cake Pie Pee
Speaker 1: Pie Cake Pipee. There's been a song by n Sync
Speaker 1: cake Bye Bye pie Pie Pie Podcake pie pie Cake
Speaker 1: pie Pie pie Pie. I don't know, Um, I'm looking listen.
Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to seeing my family. In fact, the
Speaker 1: reason why we're doing this here on a Monday night,
Speaker 1: and this is gonna get dropped before Tuesday morning. But
Speaker 1: when you're gonna wake up to this present, I just
Speaker 1: wanted to say a happy Thanksgiving to all the slices. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm saying out a happy Thanksgiving if you're if you're
Speaker 1: hearing this afterwards, but if you're getting this a year late,
Speaker 1: then happy Thanksgiving or Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate.
Speaker 1: Happy Eastern Happy fourth of July this week? What about
Speaker 1: what about Hanaka and Hanaka, all of it? Yeah, if
Speaker 1: I left any I, I apologize with all of them,
Speaker 1: you know. But the slices are what may. They give
Speaker 1: us life. And I'm thankful for for all of you
Speaker 1: and for helping us build this thing for the last
Speaker 1: three years that we've been doing it. By the way,
Speaker 1: did you film your what am I thankful for? Video
Speaker 1: for our show? No, I'm going to do that tomorrow. Morning.
Speaker 1: Why did you film yours? I gotta film mine tonight.
Speaker 1: Are you thankful for me? Yeah? Okay great? By the way,
Speaker 1: you know what, UM, just a follow up because we
Speaker 1: never talked about this in the podcast. I went to, Um,
Speaker 1: I did that event last week at friends giving him
Speaker 1: You didn't show up thanks hit the jingle yeah did you? No? Um?
Speaker 1: But I am doing it again. Uh. And people should
Speaker 1: join if they'd like to. And are you going to
Speaker 1: show up to that one or no? About Thanksgiving? Talking
Speaker 1: about the coming about the jingle ball watch ball, and
Speaker 1: we talked about last week the one coming up. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I was about to get a lot of money
Speaker 1: for it, and I'm getting anything we want to show
Speaker 1: up for free. You said you want a chicken palm
Speaker 1: on the arm. We can still a chicken palm on
Speaker 1: the arm and some fill your Dell's. Uh. If you
Speaker 1: nobody tells you, then yeah, you can get everything. So
Speaker 1: they're gonna open up the buffet for you. Oh well
Speaker 1: I'm not doing a buffet yet. All right. Well, well
Speaker 1: we'll see anyway. We're well, we'll see where we are.
Speaker 1: By the way, with with COVID, we may be shut down.
Speaker 1: There's could be a moot point I can Deever, first,
Speaker 1: some big restrictions maybe coming. That's the rumor. Who knows
Speaker 1: if that's gonna happen or not, at least in the
Speaker 1: states with the states of New York and New Jersey, yeah,
Speaker 1: and and Connecticut their team. Okay, So can I tell
Speaker 1: you what happened to me at Walgreens? Did you could
Speaker 1: say anything? For a week? Your dogs are going crazy?
Speaker 1: You know, my families outside, they're ready to come in
Speaker 1: the house. So I'm at Walgreen's. You know, the place
Speaker 1: where we're forced to go now for our medication. Is
Speaker 1: that the corner of happy and healthy? Absolutely right there.
Speaker 1: So I'm in the men's grooming aisle. Now, if you
Speaker 1: remember my Walgreen story from I don't know thirty episodes ago,
Speaker 1: I got a fifty dollar credit for my troubles. So
Speaker 1: I'm trying to spend the fifty bucks on something I
Speaker 1: might like. So I'm in the men's razor department. Maybe
Speaker 1: pick on a nice electric razor or something, you know,
Speaker 1: because we're home and I'm not shaving that much. But
Speaker 1: I figured, what the hell, right, a couple in there,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say thirties or forties, very short and kind
Speaker 1: of chunky. Both of them are wearing long shorts past
Speaker 1: their knees. He's wearing shorts. You don't know what georges
Speaker 1: are there, Jeane shorts. Now, the space between their high
Speaker 1: socks and their shorts is maybe two inches two inches
Speaker 1: of skin showing terrible. They look stumpy. So I immediately
Speaker 1: look at them and go look up the stumpies. I
Speaker 1: said it out loud, but I had the mask on
Speaker 1: and they didn't hear it. Anyway, they keep coming closer
Speaker 1: to where I'm standing, and I'm and Mr Stumpy isn't
Speaker 1: covering his nose, so I'm a little like this guy.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be near the guy with his
Speaker 1: nose exposed, so I kind of keep moving a little
Speaker 1: to the right. It's always exposed. Okay, So I'm like
Speaker 1: these two idiots, they look like, uh, they look like
Speaker 1: stumpy people. Really look like stumpy people. They look like
Speaker 1: they're four ft one, but they're they're not. But that's
Speaker 1: why they look with the with the long shorts, in
Speaker 1: the high socks and the portly bodies. Anyway, he picks
Speaker 1: up a razor that's real chargeable. It's in the area
Speaker 1: where I was looking right on the box he reads
Speaker 1: out to his wife or his girlfriend. Um, he says, oh,
Speaker 1: look at this. It says charging provides forty five minutes
Speaker 1: of shaving. He turns to his wife and he says,
Speaker 1: who takes forty five minutes to shave? Why would you
Speaker 1: need to shave of forty five minutes? Oh my god.
Speaker 1: So I start laughing because obviously it means forty five
Speaker 1: minutes total and not forty five. It's per shave, right,
Speaker 1: like it holds a charge for So I'm thinking his
Speaker 1: wife is as his girlfriend's as dumb as he is.
Speaker 1: She explains it to him. I started laughing out loud.
Speaker 1: They look over me and give me the evil because
Speaker 1: they're wearing masks like I am. But they want to
Speaker 1: know what I'm laughing at. And I'm laughing because you're
Speaker 1: an idiot, Stumpy, You're an idiot the f you, writes
Speaker 1: Mr Stumpy covey your nose, and you're stupid. So I'm laughing,
Speaker 1: and he's looking at me like why are you laughing,
Speaker 1: because he can't imagine I'm laughing at the wife telling
Speaker 1: him about the charging. But that's what he said to her,
Speaker 1: who takes forty five minutes to shave. God. You know
Speaker 1: what I was hoping though. What he said it that
Speaker 1: she wouldn't say I do, because that's gross. I don't
Speaker 1: want to hear that either. Yeah, so you were making
Speaker 1: fun of Ren and Stumpy. Yes, yes, the Stumpies. So
Speaker 1: if you see them in Walgreens now my house, Uh,
Speaker 1: stay away from Stumpy right there in the corner of
Speaker 1: happy and healthy, Happy healthy, who takes forty five minutes
Speaker 1: to save us? Let's tell you, man, he's like the
Speaker 1: guy who would look at his shampoo it says rinse
Speaker 1: and repeat, and he would get stuck in a loop. Wait,
Speaker 1: would just keep rinsing and repeating because it doesn't say stop.
Speaker 1: All right, we gotta get out of here, right because
Speaker 1: your family's home is that my family's home. I bought
Speaker 1: two bags of stuff and jelly cranberry sauce. Jelly yelled
Speaker 1: at for the jelly cranberry sauce. Yeah. I like the
Speaker 1: jelly cranberry sauce. I don't like the lumps. You don't
Speaker 1: like you don't like the can The can mold, That's
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about, the can mold. Oh. I think
Speaker 1: I think you smell like the mushed up one in
Speaker 1: the canoes. No, I like the jelled, like the jelly yes,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah the one that comes and then yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's like, you know what's great because nothing says
Speaker 1: fresh fruit fruit like slicing your jelley. No. No, but
Speaker 1: the best part is you can slice it nician thin
Speaker 1: and just cover your turkey. Yes. By the way, uh,
Speaker 1: if you listen to today what's Today's dated? If you
Speaker 1: listen to November twenties Elvis Duran fifteen minute morning show
Speaker 1: philth watch the video. Watch the video at Elvis Durand
Speaker 1: show on Instagram. And if you're I don't have Instagram, hey,
Speaker 1: guess what, get Instagram or you can just go to
Speaker 1: on your on your browser, just go to Instagram dot co.
Speaker 1: Understand all right, but you can go to Alvis Durand
Speaker 1: dot com slash I'm sorry Instagram dot com slash Duran
Speaker 1: show and still watch the video you don't have right, Um,
Speaker 1: you will hear not only the only joke I ever
Speaker 1: tell in my whole life, but you'll also you're scary.
Speaker 1: Explain to you what he'll he'll do his jelly joke
Speaker 1: between I'm I'm not gonna get I'm not gonna be
Speaker 1: leading to the joke. People know that joke, just you
Speaker 1: don't listen to the jelly. They don't, they don't. Scary
Speaker 1: explains the difference between jelly and jam, jelly and jam.
Speaker 1: What's it in between jam and jelly? And I'm not
Speaker 1: going to give you the answer here right go. Look
Speaker 1: it's a cliffhanger, and I'm quite funny in this one.
Speaker 1: I think off if you don't know, one tells you
Speaker 1: staying his favorite joke of all time with Chrocolin Dah
Speaker 1: Boys Rock Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Dah Boys Rock Rockoln