WEBVTT - Don't Happy, Be Worried! 

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<v Speaker 1>Don't happy be worried. It's one more thing. I'm strong

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<v Speaker 1>and what. I was reminded of the Bobby McFerrin classic

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<v Speaker 1>don't Worry Be Happy the other day as it was

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<v Speaker 1>listed on the Worst Songs of the nineties.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess something like that that's very popular.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a cute little ditty. It's fine. I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>it's fine. People love, you know, slamming other people's choices

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<v Speaker 1>in music too much.

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<v Speaker 2>You gotta hate on being happy?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, right, exactly. But don't happy be worried? Is the

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<v Speaker 1>theme kind of sort of a really interesting study that's

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<v Speaker 1>out researchers from the University of Toronto, Scarborough and University

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<v Speaker 1>of Sydney. The Canuckers joining up with the Australians. Trump

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<v Speaker 1>will be you know, annexing them both soon but anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>for now, we'll let them have their cute little universities.

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<v Speaker 1>But they right. We live in a happiness obsessed world.

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<v Speaker 1>Self help gurus promise paths to bliss. Instagram influencers pedal

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<v Speaker 1>happiness is a lifestyle, and corporations build marketing campaigns around

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<v Speaker 1>the pursuit of positive emotions, but new research suggests a

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<v Speaker 1>surprising twist.

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<v Speaker 2>I doubt.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm if you're not familiar, Yeah, exactly, Trying to are

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<v Speaker 1>to be happy might make you miserable. The researchers that

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<v Speaker 1>the aforementioned universities found that actively pursuing happiness drains our

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<v Speaker 1>mental energy, the same energy we need for self control,

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<v Speaker 1>among other things. Says the researcher, the pursuit of happiness

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<v Speaker 1>is a bit like a snowball effect. You decide to

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<v Speaker 1>try making yourself happier, but then that effort deplete your

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<v Speaker 1>ability to do the kinds of things that actually make

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<v Speaker 1>you happier.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, well, there's the key right there. What kind

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<v Speaker 2>of things actually make you happy? So among my favorite

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<v Speaker 2>books I've ever read in my life the Art of

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<v Speaker 2>Happiness by the Dali Lama, which he says, your goal

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<v Speaker 2>every morning when you wake up should be to make

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<v Speaker 2>yourself happy. You should spend all your time trying to

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<v Speaker 2>make yourself happy. That's what you should do. But it

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<v Speaker 2>gets down to the data on what makes you happy

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<v Speaker 2>and what doesn't. And many, many of the things we

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<v Speaker 2>all do every single day don't make us happy. They've

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<v Speaker 2>never made us happy. We have ample evidence from our

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<v Speaker 2>own experience, let alone other people's experience. That it doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>make us happy, yet we continue doing it, like eating

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<v Speaker 2>bad food or buying stuff, or promiscuous sex or whatever

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<v Speaker 2>it is. It has never made us in the happy.

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<v Speaker 2>It doesn't make other people happy, yet we keep thinking

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<v Speaker 2>that's what's going to make us happy. So pursuing happiness

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<v Speaker 2>every day is okay. You just need to define what

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<v Speaker 2>makes people actually makes people happy.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe this is the key. Pleasure is not happiness. Fun

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<v Speaker 1>is not happiness, right, it can be part of it,

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<v Speaker 1>very we men seldom. No life of purpose is what

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<v Speaker 1>makes people happy? Yeah? Yeah, happy? Be happy. You wake

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<v Speaker 1>up determined to have a great day, You plan mood

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<v Speaker 1>boosting activities and work hard to stay positive. But by

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<v Speaker 1>evening you're ordering takeout instead of cooking, mindlessly scrolling social

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<v Speaker 1>media and snapping at your partner. Why your pursuit of

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<v Speaker 1>happiness might be the problem. The scientist marketing professor puts

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<v Speaker 1>it bluntly. Quote the more mentally run down we are,

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<v Speaker 1>the more tempted will be to skip cleaning the house

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<v Speaker 1>and instead scroll social media.

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<v Speaker 2>And they're saying the same thing as the Dalai Lama says,

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<v Speaker 2>I just I like the way he words it. It's

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<v Speaker 2>a little more positive, pursue happiness all day, every day.

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<v Speaker 2>That should be your goal in life, that should be

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<v Speaker 2>everybody's goal. But now let's break down what actually makes

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<v Speaker 2>people happy as opposed to saying don't pursue happiness, because

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<v Speaker 2>then it seems like it's a gotta eat my vegetables,

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<v Speaker 2>gotta you know, all negative stuff and maybe there'll be

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<v Speaker 2>a payoff in the end.

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<v Speaker 1>Right. It's like the difference between pursuing money and pursuing

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<v Speaker 1>the skills that will make you money. In a way, Katie,

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<v Speaker 1>do you have something you want to jump in with?

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<v Speaker 1>You look thoughtful.

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<v Speaker 3>I I'm kind of overthinking this, I think okay, to

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<v Speaker 3>be honest, Well.

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<v Speaker 2>It's it's amazing that human beings do things that make

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<v Speaker 2>themselves unhappy all the time, all the time. It's just

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<v Speaker 2>it's just like one of those common things we do

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<v Speaker 2>is make do things that make us unhappy. Eat stuff

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<v Speaker 2>that's going to make us either feel bad in the

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<v Speaker 2>moment or make us feel bad long term, or you know,

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<v Speaker 2>pursue relationships that we know aren't good. But there's either sex, prestige,

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<v Speaker 2>whatever that that makes you do it. Just we regularly

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<v Speaker 2>chase things that we know are bad for us.

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<v Speaker 1>Right right.

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<v Speaker 3>Watching My brain was going with like, things you don't

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<v Speaker 3>want to do, but the payoff in the end is good.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, the simplest one is the staring at your phone.

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<v Speaker 2>Nobody ever, at the end of the day says I'm

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<v Speaker 2>She're glad I spent that much time scrolling on my phone?

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<v Speaker 2>Nobody ever, not even for one day, right right.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just going to contrast do scrolling on Twitter,

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<v Speaker 1>which I have the compulsion to do and I resist

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<v Speaker 1>pretty well most times, versus the other day. I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>this is as mundane as can be. I cleaned out

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<v Speaker 1>my closet. I went through it thin, the herd of clothing,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, shoes I don't wear, et cetera. It's neater,

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<v Speaker 1>it's better organized. It's just it's better. And that made

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<v Speaker 1>me happy, right like happy? Yeah, like today, I was

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<v Speaker 1>not pleasurable. I would love to lay on my couch

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<v Speaker 1>all day, but I know I have laundry to do,

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<v Speaker 1>and when I get it done, I'm going to be

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<v Speaker 1>happy that it's done.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I was just reading an obituary of a fella that

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<v Speaker 1>I barely knew, and it was post retirement, I'm pretty sure,

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<v Speaker 1>but he filled his life with the Boys and Girls

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<v Speaker 1>Club of the area where he lived, and it was

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<v Speaker 1>really pivotal in guiding them through difficult financial times and

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<v Speaker 1>growing the programs and stuff like that. I'll bet there

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<v Speaker 1>was very little of that was pleasurable. Some of it

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<v Speaker 1>was because watching kids learn and grow is immensely satisfying,

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<v Speaker 1>but there's a hell of a lot of work there,

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<v Speaker 1>and I guarantee that made him happy to his soul.

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<v Speaker 4>I think the best happiness comes from accomplishments. It could

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<v Speaker 4>be like mowing the grass. Like you're pushing the mower

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<v Speaker 4>and you look back and you see what you've done,

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<v Speaker 4>and then when you're all finished, you look and you think, hey,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm really feeling happy.

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<v Speaker 2>So why then, evolutionary speaking, why are we is our

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<v Speaker 2>body screaming out to now mow the lawn tomorrow? Lay

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<v Speaker 2>on on the couch watching this football game is what

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<v Speaker 2>It's going to make me happy? Even though you're absolutely

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<v Speaker 2>right afterwards, I think, why did I watch? I don't

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<v Speaker 2>even care about these two teams as opposed to you'll

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<v Speaker 2>feel happy after your MOLLI one.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, the greatest minds of our time are devoted toward

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<v Speaker 1>getting you to do things for pleasure, for their profit

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<v Speaker 1>in a way that didn't exist. I mean even two

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<v Speaker 1>hundred years ago there's ad advertisement, but it was not

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<v Speaker 1>nearly as effective, manipulative and scientifically based as modern you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like like Facebook, TikTok. My god, we as a species

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<v Speaker 1>don't stand a chance against that sort of neurological manipulation.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've noticed recently. I don't know if my well,

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<v Speaker 2>I just I guess I just started doing the Instagram

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<v Speaker 2>reels thing. I'd never done it before. It's kind of

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<v Speaker 2>the American version of TikTok, I guess. Anyway, what's disappointing

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<v Speaker 2>to me is it's not like doom scrolling or something

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<v Speaker 2>where I think why did I do that? Or it's

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<v Speaker 2>pretty good, it's pretty enjoyable. It feeds me lots of

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<v Speaker 2>stuff I really like, I mean like really like, here's

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<v Speaker 2>some rare concert footage that it figured out I'd be

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<v Speaker 2>into that I've never seen before, and stuff like that.

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<v Speaker 2>But it kills a freaking hour where I should either

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<v Speaker 2>been sleeping or exercising or whatever. So it's actually it's

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<v Speaker 2>actually an enjoyable, like really enjoyable in the time. So

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<v Speaker 2>that's what I got to fight now, is not.

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<v Speaker 1>Even start I am going to further parse language. You

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<v Speaker 1>got pleasure, you got happiness, and Michael, to your point,

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<v Speaker 1>you have satisfaction. Maybe that's another word to think about

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<v Speaker 1>happiness and satisfaction as opposed to pleasure.

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<v Speaker 2>If you don't say you're retired and you don't really

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<v Speaker 2>need to accomplish anything.

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<v Speaker 1>That's when it's the most important, according to everybody I've

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<v Speaker 1>talked to, to have some purpose.

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<v Speaker 2>You don't think you could just look at Instagram reels,

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<v Speaker 2>feeding your stuff that you actually enjoy and be okay,

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<v Speaker 2>or would you be miserable?

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<v Speaker 1>You'll be dead soon. I don't know. I can't state

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<v Speaker 1>that you know with confidence. But that's I've read a

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<v Speaker 1>fair amount about retirement, which is funny because I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Probably like my job too much. But yeah, if you're

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<v Speaker 1>the sort of person who just retires and you have

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<v Speaker 1>nothing to do, it makes people miserable.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you mean even if you have things to do,

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<v Speaker 2>you have TikTok, you have something to do.

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<v Speaker 1>And the golf course. I just play golf. I look

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<v Speaker 1>at TikTok. I wake up in the morning, I go

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<v Speaker 1>play golf again that I look at TikTok.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I've since I started on Instagram reels. It's the

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<v Speaker 2>TikTok algorithm scares me if it's substantially better. Like I

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<v Speaker 2>was listening to Sarah Iger of The Dispatch saying, if

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<v Speaker 2>you think Instagram reels is addictive, you have no idea.

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<v Speaker 2>Because she got sucked into TikTok and then got it

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<v Speaker 2>off her phone. She says, just so good. It's just

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<v Speaker 2>every day stuff. I love that. I'm super into.

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<v Speaker 1>My daughter did the same thing.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why I feel with Instagram reels, like, man, is

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<v Speaker 2>it good with coming up stuff that I like, s

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<v Speaker 2>and l clips, concert videos, stuff that I just love.

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<v Speaker 2>But you can't, you know, wants to live their life

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<v Speaker 2>doing that.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's you know, Lord knows, I've lived a checkered life,

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<v Speaker 1>but one gift that I got somehow or other. And

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<v Speaker 1>this may shock you, folks, I used to take walks

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<v Speaker 1>on the wild side now and again, not in the

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<v Speaker 1>lou Reeds sen it's not gender bending madness, but you know,

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<v Speaker 1>occasionally in the rock and roll world of the eighties

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<v Speaker 1>and nineties, there were substances about and there are a

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<v Speaker 1>couple of experiences I had where I thought, no, I

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<v Speaker 1>like this too much. Yeah, and so it is with

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<v Speaker 1>the tickety talk. From what I've heard, you realize I

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<v Speaker 1>am powerless against this.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it is like an endless.

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<v Speaker 3>They provide you endless entertainment on there, especially when they

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<v Speaker 3>figure out what you like.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, you could do that for hours. I wonder

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<v Speaker 2>if that's what happened. I wonder if I spend enough

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<v Speaker 2>time on Instagram that it was able to Okay, now

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<v Speaker 2>we know we got him figured out. Yeah, because it

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<v Speaker 2>just seems like in the last week or so, it's

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<v Speaker 2>like really grabbed me.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, and what sucks about that is because I thought,

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<v Speaker 3>I I'm a dumb ass. I thought I could outsmart

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<v Speaker 3>the algorithm because I thought maybe if I don't inn

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<v Speaker 3>with any pasts.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I don't like anything, I don't interact with

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<v Speaker 2>any of them, but it picks up your eyeballs.

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<v Speaker 3>Or no, it picks up your watch time. So if

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<v Speaker 3>you so like let's say you're scroll and you stop

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<v Speaker 3>on a video and you spend the time to watch

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<v Speaker 3>that video, the algorithm goes, Okay, we kept him here

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<v Speaker 3>for such and such a second, so he's into.

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<v Speaker 2>That because I didn't click on it. I didn't do anything.

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<v Speaker 2>It was just part of a stream. It's just because

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<v Speaker 2>you watched it.

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<v Speaker 1>I am going to rewatch on YouTube. The Social Dilemma.

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<v Speaker 1>The thing is so good documentary Jack, you gotta watch that.

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<v Speaker 1>You got it, You just gotta.

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<v Speaker 2>Can They put it in twenty second chunks on a

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<v Speaker 2>Instagram reel. Jeez, we can't save him. I was gonna

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<v Speaker 2>say I had one more thing to say about this,

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<v Speaker 2>just I don't know how good it is at figuring

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<v Speaker 2>out stuff that you really really like. It's it's troubling, actually,

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<v Speaker 2>and there's stuff that it would have been hard for

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<v Speaker 2>me to find, like on my own. Oh I was,

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<v Speaker 2>I was thinking about they fixed what used to be.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if you're old enough for this or not. Katie,

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<v Speaker 2>you probably are back when you used to You want something,

0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:08.920
<v Speaker 2>You sit down and you think, how do I have

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<v Speaker 2>one hundred and twenty channels and there's nothing I like here?

0:12:11.559 --> 0:12:14.959
<v Speaker 2>You click through and there's nothing you like. They fixed that.

0:12:15.040 --> 0:12:17.960
<v Speaker 2>It's the opposite. Now you like every single thing on

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<v Speaker 2>every channel. They know exactly what you're into. They got

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<v Speaker 2>your sports thing, your music thing, your kid's thing. You're

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<v Speaker 2>just every channel is something you love. As you click through,

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<v Speaker 2>it's the exact opposite of what it used to be right.

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<v Speaker 1>Leggy blonde guitar players playing golf, constant videos, sexy golfing guitarists.

0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:40.400
<v Speaker 1>What's giving me lessons with.

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<v Speaker 2>A dog doing something funny and a kid doing something cute?

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, see If.

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<v Speaker 4>You guys agree with this, false happiness comes immediately, Real

0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:53.079
<v Speaker 4>happiness comes later. You have to wait for real happy.

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<v Speaker 2>Pretty much always is the case.

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<v Speaker 4>Yep, well, I guess that's it.