1 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 1: All right, let's do some dating questions. My guy checks 2 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:21,239 Speaker 1: all the important boxes, but he doesn't ask me deep questions. 3 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: That's because he's a guy. That's because he's a guy. 4 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:33,840 Speaker 1: Now the question is, is he's selfish? There. I believe 5 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: in astrology a little bit, and there are some signs 6 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 1: that point to selfish and I've checked it out, and 7 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that. Obviously, signs are the only indication 8 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 1: of selfishness. But selfishness is someone who's not asking you 9 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,160 Speaker 1: about yourself at all. Like I was talking to Tinks 10 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:54,120 Speaker 1: about this, and you could sit on a date and 11 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: go a significant period of time without someone asking about you. 12 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: And I've I had that with my daughter too. I 13 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 1: dated someone that's really specific in my mind right now, 14 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,280 Speaker 1: and he never asked her about her. He really was 15 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: interested in me, but didn't engage her. Now, it doesn't 16 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:14,560 Speaker 1: mean he's totally I mean, and I'm putting labels on 17 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: someone you don't know the reason why. This guy, because 18 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: he has some personal issues, is not intentionally selfish. It's 19 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: just the nature of him being focused on himself. So 20 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 1: the thing is, with any man or relationship, you have 21 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: to weigh out what's important to you As you get older, 22 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,640 Speaker 1: different things become important to you and also are they 23 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 1: additive and do they enricher life becomes important And the 24 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:48,120 Speaker 1: reason that I tell young women to work and at 25 00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: financial independence is because you then have the financial freedom 26 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: to exit something if it isn't serving you for reasons 27 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,440 Speaker 1: other than financial reasons. And in some pay in cases, 28 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: someone falls in love with someone else doesn't really think 29 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 1: about who they are big picture, long term chess game, 30 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,800 Speaker 1: and then they feel trapped and they have to stay 31 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: because they who make the goal make the rules. So 32 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: I would say if it's on the first date, someone 33 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,360 Speaker 1: checks important boxes and doesn't ask the deep questions, they 34 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,120 Speaker 1: could be nervous if it's well into your life. I 35 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:24,560 Speaker 1: know someone in particularly what I'm thinking of, who was 36 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 1: in a marriage for years, and I guessed when they 37 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 1: broke up. Even though they had a lifestyle you can 38 00:02:32,600 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 1: make a life out of you can make a lifestyle 39 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 1: out of a life. You can't make a life out 40 00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,640 Speaker 1: of a lifestyle. And they had a lifestyle. They traveled, 41 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,720 Speaker 1: they did interesting things, but ultimately they didn't connect. They 42 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 1: never really connect on a deeper level as human beings. 43 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 1: If we're an evolved creatures, we want to connect on 44 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,200 Speaker 1: a deeper level, and we're starving for it. I know 45 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: men that still want to be with me, who can 46 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 1: be with young hot women and are with young hot 47 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:02,079 Speaker 1: women who crave me because yes, I'm a sexual creature 48 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 1: and I'm good in bed, and I'm good in bed 49 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: because I'm a connected person. I'm a person who knows 50 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,360 Speaker 1: what feels good for someone else from a massage standpoint, 51 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,959 Speaker 1: from an emotional standpoint, from a nurturing standpoint, from an 52 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 1: intellectual standpoint, from a humor standpoint. And these guys, some 53 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,960 Speaker 1: of them get with the hot young girl, and for 54 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: every hot young girl, there's a guy sick at tired 55 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: of fucking them. That's the expression. So the reason I 56 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,239 Speaker 1: say that is that you want to be an interesting person, 57 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: and you want to be with someone interesting because you 58 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: will become intellectually, emotionally, mentally bored. And boredom is what 59 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: happens at my age with people who feel like they 60 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: lack purpose. So I know many and I get bored. 61 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 1: And I have the biggest, greatest career you could ever 62 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,720 Speaker 1: possibly dream ever imagine. I could do anything I want 63 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,080 Speaker 1: every day and can make ideas happen all day long. 64 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 1: But I still sometimes get bored because people my age 65 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 1: get bored because they lack purpose. They're not as relevant, 66 00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:02,400 Speaker 1: they're not as young, they don't have the action, They're 67 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: not as necessary in certain spaces, and not as relevant. 68 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: And you want to be with a partner that's going 69 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: to stimulate you. How to meet other white collar gay 70 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,480 Speaker 1: men in New York City? This is going to sound snobby. 71 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,800 Speaker 1: I don't know if everyone is on apps, but I 72 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,839 Speaker 1: think most people are. But you've already thought of that. 73 00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: You know that that's not a great answer. I would 74 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,280 Speaker 1: say invest in the right private clubs. If you want 75 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,719 Speaker 1: to meet a white collar wealthy man, that's an investment, 76 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:40,479 Speaker 1: and you need to join the right bougie clubs that 77 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 1: will have the right gay men. So, depending upon the age, 78 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 1: is that the Soho House? Is that sam Vecenti Bungalows? 79 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:51,240 Speaker 1: Is that Max seems because you're going to meet a 80 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:55,440 Speaker 1: stubs and wooden loafer person. Are you trying to figure 81 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: out how to get on the gay version of Raya? 82 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,480 Speaker 1: If that exists? I think it does exis. I'm sure 83 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:04,719 Speaker 1: it does. What is the best dating app? Over fifty 84 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,200 Speaker 1: It depends on what you want. Most women want a successful, 85 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 1: wealthy man. And I would say for that people are 86 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:16,640 Speaker 1: liking Hinge and the league is good, but you really 87 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,919 Speaker 1: have to fish the deep deep ocean to find like 88 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: maybe very few good fish, but they're there. The fish 89 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 1: are there. Bumble is great too, for you know the 90 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: people are there. It's really just like a it's a 91 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: numbers game. You have to do the work. And you 92 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,560 Speaker 1: can't just go on too many dates because it's like 93 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 1: going to a buffet and you'll get full and nauseated 94 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: and not like the things you chose on the buffet. 95 00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,240 Speaker 1: So you have to be very selective. You have to 96 00:05:40,279 --> 00:05:43,359 Speaker 1: get your plate out and wait and walk around and 97 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: sit if you want your egg white onme it made 98 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,520 Speaker 1: with all the gourmet vegetables, and decide what sushi you 99 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: want in that buffet, because you came to that buffet 100 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: and there's gonna be a lot thrown at you, and 101 00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,480 Speaker 1: you better get what you really want and make your 102 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,719 Speaker 1: wise choices. Otherwise you're gonna be nauseated and you won't 103 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: want to go back to the buffet. Big problem. You 104 00:05:58,560 --> 00:06:03,280 Speaker 1: get full and as soon as too soon to move 105 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: in with someone you're dating. I mean, I wouldn't put 106 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 1: a timeline on it. I would say not when you're 107 00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:12,280 Speaker 1: in the obsession phase, not when you're in the enamored phase, 108 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,040 Speaker 1: when you're in the realistic phase, when you're in the mundane. 109 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: I'm a little bored of you. Sometimes some things you 110 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 1: do turn me off. Like we are really in the 111 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,839 Speaker 1: thick of it, Like we've met each other's family's parents, 112 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,840 Speaker 1: We've done the boring, we've traveled together, we've done holidays, 113 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:29,799 Speaker 1: like do not move in together? Until you've seen multiple 114 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:35,279 Speaker 1: seasons and multiple reasons, multiple occasions, multiple conflicts, someone vomiting 115 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:39,880 Speaker 1: in a toilet bowl, someone snotting, like someone wearing ugly shoes, 116 00:06:40,839 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 1: things that since what not Until you've seen all the 117 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 1: things that would turn you off someone. That's when someone's 118 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 1: chewing starts to irritate. You know they have bad breath 119 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,559 Speaker 1: and you don't want to vomit. You've gotten some version 120 00:06:52,600 --> 00:07:08,240 Speaker 1: of the ick and you still are there. How to 121 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:10,400 Speaker 1: handle the success hate from those close to you and 122 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 1: in the same field of business. If that's a dating 123 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 1: question and someone close to you is a little bit 124 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:19,400 Speaker 1: jealous or intimidated, get the fuck out. It's not changing. 125 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,120 Speaker 1: Get the actual fuck out. And if it's a marriage. 126 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,120 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. You gotta help your partner. 127 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: You're gonna have to dumb it down. You're gonna have 128 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 1: to make your partner feel like they're the big, big, 129 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 1: strong ox Like. It's a fucking nightmare. I wouldn't even 130 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,840 Speaker 1: deal with that. But if you have kids and you're 131 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 1: already married, and you you know you've become the moneyed 132 00:07:35,600 --> 00:07:38,760 Speaker 1: spouse or the successful spouse, watch that because they will 133 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,760 Speaker 1: try to exert their power in other ways and it's 134 00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:46,960 Speaker 1: not good. That's how infidelity happens. That's how bro trips happen. 135 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 1: Like it's just a disaster. That's why I have a 136 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 1: text on my phone right now. If I'm a man 137 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: who would be playing tennis with someone as good or 138 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: better than I am, And that's what I'm looking for. 139 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:03,080 Speaker 1: Biggest red flag that isn't obvious, Like violence is obviously 140 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 1: a red flag? Good question, Okay, biggest red flag that 141 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:10,080 Speaker 1: isn't obvious. Ah, when someone dims your light, you don't 142 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,480 Speaker 1: notice it right away, but you start to find out. 143 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 1: And it takes a while to get to this place 144 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: because this is not in the honeymoon phase. You start 145 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 1: to get to a place where you're overcompensating for what 146 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,800 Speaker 1: you are doing, what you have, how you look, and 147 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 1: you're trying to make the other person feel like the 148 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 1: plans that you have without them aren't that big of 149 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 1: a deal. The career you have isn't that big of 150 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 1: a deal. The things you're doing aren't that exciting. You're 151 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: trying to like dumb it down, dim your own light. Disaster, bad, 152 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,560 Speaker 1: bad bad. Someone has to lift you up, build you up. 153 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 1: You have to feel like your light is brighter. Someone 154 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:44,960 Speaker 1: who's trying to make you in any way someone that 155 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 1: you're not and it's not over it either. It doesn't 156 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 1: have to be like someone criticizing you, but it's someone 157 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 1: letting you know that like well that's a little much 158 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:53,319 Speaker 1: or it's not or it's too much or huh, that's 159 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 1: an interesting choice, or like sort of like either secretly passively, 160 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: aggressively jealous or competitive or trying to tell you what 161 00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: not to weigh. That shit is a nightmare. That's a nightmare, Okay, bad, 162 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:10,600 Speaker 1: bad bad flag red flag. Someone's not quite respectful of 163 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:16,199 Speaker 1: their mother, doesn't really respect women, makes snide comments, makes 164 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: like some version of you know, inappropriate comments, has any 165 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:25,199 Speaker 1: sleeze factor even like a small sleeze comment about something 166 00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: else someone else like that. It's just a red flag 167 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,200 Speaker 1: someone that, like I said, is not that respectful of 168 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,520 Speaker 1: women in general. You might hear it about a friend's wife. 169 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,520 Speaker 1: It may not be about you because you think it's different. 170 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:40,720 Speaker 1: Anything like that, any like raising of the voice, anything that, 171 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,800 Speaker 1: the way they speak to some the way they speak 172 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:47,440 Speaker 1: to any staff, any weight staff, any concierge, or anything 173 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 1: not not not that's a critical critical indicator. How do 174 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,319 Speaker 1: you encourage a man who might be a little insecure 175 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: in a way but not feed his ego. All men 176 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 1: are in all creatures are insecure, So you just be 177 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: confident and positively reinforced when someone does something good. Don't 178 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 1: give them a cookie because they'll feel emasculated and like 179 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 1: you really are marginalizing it. But really make a big 180 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 1: deal out of the that tastes so good, you're such 181 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:17,240 Speaker 1: a good griller, Oh my god, wow, Or like you 182 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:21,000 Speaker 1: look sexy, you're handsome, you're so strong like that type 183 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,960 Speaker 1: is a positively reinforced But don't act like maybe you 184 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,119 Speaker 1: really are so blah blah blah, like not that passag 185 00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:32,600 Speaker 1: give them a cookie. Shit, marry the one that loves 186 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: you more than you love them. I don't know. Try 187 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 1: to make it equal, then you're gonna get turned off. 188 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:40,079 Speaker 1: And I don't know. It's a hard one. I guess. 189 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,079 Speaker 1: If you have to choose between the two, yes, but 190 00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,440 Speaker 1: I mean I don't like that choice. Let's have an 191 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:48,559 Speaker 1: equal partnership. I feel like men aren't men these days. 192 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 1: Can you turn a boy into a man. You could 193 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 1: turn a boy into a man. You could turn a 194 00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,600 Speaker 1: player into a nod player. But you better listen to 195 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: this podcast and listen to all the advice on how 196 00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 1: to do it, because it ain't that easy. But you 197 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: d your ground. You do not bluff. You do not 198 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:06,920 Speaker 1: settle for less than you deserve. You're not you don't grab. 199 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: You're not a beggar. You're not taking scraps. You're not 200 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: allowing bread crumbing. You're not allowing a certain communication style 201 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 1: that doesn't work for you. You chase the dog, the dog 202 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,600 Speaker 1: runs away, the dog chases you. You run away. So yes, 203 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 1: you could turn a boy to a man, because most 204 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 1: men are infants, and the ones over fifty or even worse, 205 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: they're barely walking up right. They're like cave humans. It's 206 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:32,840 Speaker 1: ridiculous because they've just lost every sentilla of ability to 207 00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: connect because they've been in marriages that are soulless and 208 00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,240 Speaker 1: focused on their careers and their pecks, and they just 209 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:41,680 Speaker 1: do not know how to communicate. So they're children. They're 210 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:46,199 Speaker 1: fucking babies. The middle aged men want middle aged women anymore. 211 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 1: It's ridiculous out here. Yes they do, Yes, they do, Yes, 212 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:51,079 Speaker 1: they do. They don't want coming fresh off a divorce 213 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 1: or when they've just made a lot of money. You're 214 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:59,199 Speaker 1: usually the rebound off of the rebound. Someone gets divorced, 215 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:01,920 Speaker 1: they go to the young, hot piece, the dumb dumb, 216 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,040 Speaker 1: the knitwidth that listens to them, the opposite of their 217 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 1: ex wife. Then they're miserable, they're bored. It doesn't make 218 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,720 Speaker 1: any sense. It doesn't fit in with their friends. They 219 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,599 Speaker 1: don't want to bring them on vacations. It's awkward to 220 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,920 Speaker 1: be with someone twenty years younger. We don't listen to 221 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: the same music. You feel older in comparison. You're looking 222 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 1: at you saggy skin. They're looking at their gray hair. 223 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,439 Speaker 1: They want to get botox. They want the hot young piece, 224 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,320 Speaker 1: but they are aware of the fact that the hot 225 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:26,800 Speaker 1: young piece is with them because they have some money 226 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:31,240 Speaker 1: and a retirement plan so they get more insecure, they 227 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: distrust that young person more, and they ultimately will want 228 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 1: someone that is going to mentally and emotionally stimulate them. 229 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: But do they want a fucking busted up, washed up, miserable, negative, 230 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:47,679 Speaker 1: always complaining, nagging, middle aged wife. They had that already, 231 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,679 Speaker 1: apps a fucking litely Not. Do they want someone who's 232 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 1: young and hot and takes care of themselves and smells 233 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 1: pretty and is intelligent and has something to bring to 234 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 1: the table and has fucking paid for their own tit 235 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,679 Speaker 1: job and their own dental work. Yes, that's what they 236 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 1: do want. They want someone they can talk to who's 237 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,120 Speaker 1: an equal and who's attractive, and who's pretty, and who 238 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,679 Speaker 1: they're who's in good shape where they're gonna want to 239 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:11,400 Speaker 1: have sex with, or who's just incredible in bed, or 240 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,679 Speaker 1: who can do the Jedi mind fuck, or who can 241 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:15,079 Speaker 1: give them a run for their money, because they're not 242 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,720 Speaker 1: a little doormat, just beggars looking for chanel bag. Which 243 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,080 Speaker 1: is why women need to have their own money. Because 244 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 1: I know so many blood in the water desperadoes that 245 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:26,160 Speaker 1: are actually attractive in their fifties, but they're rolling up 246 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:30,360 Speaker 1: with three to four kids and debt. That is not 247 00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: the middle aged woman that a man wants. But many 248 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,480 Speaker 1: of them find men too, So try to set yourself 249 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 1: up for success. Don't go spend your money on Luck's goods. 250 00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:42,600 Speaker 1: Join Vivrel, one of the bag rental companies or one 251 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,719 Speaker 1: of the clothing rental companies so you don't have to 252 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,560 Speaker 1: spend your money on stupid things and then have all 253 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 1: of this baggage and dead weight and bills and be 254 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,720 Speaker 1: a lot of work that a man doesn't want. A 255 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,720 Speaker 1: man doesn't want you to come in with your whole 256 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,199 Speaker 1: Luck's Goods program with three kids that he has to 257 00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:01,160 Speaker 1: take care of and sent to camp and try again. Okay, 258 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:05,160 Speaker 1: what do we got next? Okay? Divorce four years? Can't imagine? 259 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 1: Online dating? Is that the only way? It is not 260 00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 1: the only way, but it is the most efficient way. 261 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:14,200 Speaker 1: Is online shopping for close the only way? No? But 262 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,520 Speaker 1: is it the most efficient way? Yes? Can you bring 263 00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 1: it and return it? Yes? You know. Does it have 264 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 1: a return policy? Yes? Do you get to pick what 265 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:24,960 Speaker 1: you want online and sit there and keep it in 266 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:26,920 Speaker 1: the cart and then decide if you want to buy it? Yes? 267 00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,600 Speaker 1: So do you get to pick the color, the size, 268 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: the shipping date. Yeah, online dating is an efficient model 269 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 1: that I talked about before that you want to do wisely, thoughtfully, 270 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: with integrity, quality, not quantity. You do not want to 271 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 1: be the nit lit that just is going out for 272 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:49,000 Speaker 1: a free drink or meal. Then you got to talk 273 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 1: to some pig for four hours. That is not You'd 274 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,440 Speaker 1: rather starve, drink, consume, do a juice fast. You don't 275 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,320 Speaker 1: need to go out to date some schmuck and then 276 00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: be sick of it and then think and then suck 277 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,200 Speaker 1: and then not want to go again. You wait. You 278 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,600 Speaker 1: sit there with the bait and the hook, and you 279 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:07,680 Speaker 1: sit on that dock and you wait till something good 280 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,960 Speaker 1: comes on the line. Then you bring it in and 281 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:15,200 Speaker 1: cook it. You wait for a good, good, big gorgeous fish. 282 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 1: Am I the problem or to men need to provide safety? 283 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 1: I get triggered and the trigger them. Everybody needs to 284 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: provide safety. Everybody's insecure. Everybody needs to make the other 285 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 1: partner feel needed and wanted. Because even the most giving 286 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,720 Speaker 1: of men that just worship their partner and do everything 287 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,360 Speaker 1: for them, that is an imbalance. I'm thinking about someone 288 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 1: specific on social media. Something is fucked up. I know, 289 00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:39,920 Speaker 1: it is. It's too much doting and buying and lavishing. 290 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 1: It doesn't track, and there's something not balanced because everybody 291 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,680 Speaker 1: has needs. Everybody has needs. Men are not cave humans 292 00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 1: with a club ooh and a loincloth. Everyone has needs. 293 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: And it just is about when the timeline is one 294 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: partner could give, give, give, give, give, and then one 295 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,720 Speaker 1: day there are no more branches. It's the giving tree 296 00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: and the person who's been giving NonStop and the dynamic 297 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: has been taking non stop. It could be financial. I 298 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: know a woman who was with a very rich man 299 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,320 Speaker 1: kept taking, taking, taking, taking. I used to be like, 300 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 1: he's noticing, nobody's gonna know. He's noticing nobody's gonna know. 301 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 1: I'm like, he's noticing. They all notice you took, took, took, 302 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,600 Speaker 1: And one day the bottom fell out and that was 303 00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: the end of it. She lost a rich man. She 304 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:26,400 Speaker 1: played checkers, not chess. Good rich man, good, nice rich man, 305 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:43,240 Speaker 1: good smart rich man. Dumb dumb advice for dating when 306 00:16:43,280 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 1: you both have kids. Hmm, folded in slowly you fold 307 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 1: it in. This is like the cheese on shit, squeak. 308 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,800 Speaker 1: How do we fold in the cheese? How slowly? You do? 309 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,040 Speaker 1: Not rush it you're in love, you're excited. We want 310 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,280 Speaker 1: to build the family on a blend. Been there, done that. 311 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 1: It all sounds so good on paper. This is gonna 312 00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 1: be amazing. We both have kids. Yay. It's a nightmare. 313 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,280 Speaker 1: Kids hate it. It's going to be disaster. It's like 314 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 1: taking a steak out of a freezer and deciding to 315 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:14,560 Speaker 1: eat it. Don't be an idiot, control yourself. Wait, but 316 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 1: let your kids know you're dating. Do not walk on 317 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,639 Speaker 1: eggshells with your kids and put them in a precious box. 318 00:17:21,680 --> 00:17:24,000 Speaker 1: I know people who've been divorced for five years and 319 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,600 Speaker 1: they don't bring anyone around their kids. That's sick. They're sick. 320 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,680 Speaker 1: That's their problem. That's letting your kids and the inmates 321 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,640 Speaker 1: run the asylum. No fucking way. My daughter knows I date. 322 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,239 Speaker 1: She knows I want to meet someone. She knows when 323 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,160 Speaker 1: I'm going on a date. She knows how the date went. 324 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:42,679 Speaker 1: She meets people, not many, very very few. But if 325 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,880 Speaker 1: I've really liked them, she's met. If I've liked them 326 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 1: slash could love them, she's met them fairly or early. 327 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:48,639 Speaker 1: Because I don't make a big deal about it. Like 328 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 1: let's say I was walking in the Hamptons and I 329 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: had gone on a date with a guy and he 330 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,879 Speaker 1: happened to be walking in the Hantons. Yeah, it was 331 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:57,160 Speaker 1: my daughter Brin. Who cares. She's fifteen years old, she's 332 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,159 Speaker 1: not two years old. I'm not having someone sleep in 333 00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,159 Speaker 1: my bed in my house when she's there. I'm not 334 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:06,400 Speaker 1: bringing them on vacation. But like, fold it in thoughtfully, 335 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:08,960 Speaker 1: but do not wait too long. If you have a 336 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 1: batter and it's been sitting and then you try to 337 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,359 Speaker 1: fold everything, it's not gonna work out. It's already the 338 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,400 Speaker 1: baking powder and so it has been activated. And you 339 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,440 Speaker 1: give your kids too much power. I don't believe in 340 00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:21,399 Speaker 1: that shit at all. Be always open and transparent with 341 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,960 Speaker 1: your kids. Not about sex, not about things, not about love, 342 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,640 Speaker 1: not about emotions, not if someone has an eating disorder 343 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,280 Speaker 1: or emotional issues or their anxiety disorder. Like no, but 344 00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,640 Speaker 1: just like your mom wants to be happy, I want 345 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:35,280 Speaker 1: to meet someone. I don't know if it'll happen. And 346 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 1: this is what's happening. And then I met a guy 347 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,480 Speaker 1: named Dan. He seems okay. I'm not sure. Include them 348 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,240 Speaker 1: not the day you break up with their father, not 349 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 1: two months after, but like at some point we're gonna 350 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:46,480 Speaker 1: have to rip the band aid off. It's like, you 351 00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 1: don't want to have the sex talk with your kids, 352 00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,160 Speaker 1: but do you want, you know, to have a baby 353 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,600 Speaker 1: when your daughter is sixteen running around your house? You 354 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,520 Speaker 1: want a high school child having a baby. No, you 355 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 1: have a sex talk. You're an adult. Don't be stupid. 356 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:00,199 Speaker 1: Oh where do I go to look for men? If 357 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,080 Speaker 1: I'm a homebody. If you're a homebody, you are an 358 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 1: online dating app dreamed. You have the time, you have 359 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: the focus. You will not go out unless it's something 360 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,720 Speaker 1: really meaningful to go out for. I am an expert 361 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:17,080 Speaker 1: on this because I too am insular. I'm a homebody. 362 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:20,359 Speaker 1: If I go out, I'll have a drink in my bed. 363 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,879 Speaker 1: I had a marguerite. I was so stressed yesterday. I 364 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,400 Speaker 1: had a margarite and bag of chips in my bed. 365 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,760 Speaker 1: The happiest place on Earth, Disney is not the happiest 366 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 1: place on Earth. My bed is, and not when I'm 367 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,639 Speaker 1: having sex when I'm alone in it. Would you ever 368 00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,000 Speaker 1: date a next after several years broken up or never again? 369 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:40,399 Speaker 1: Never say never, I definitely would. Usually the problems creep 370 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,640 Speaker 1: right back up. Jaylo and Ben Affleck they were in love, 371 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,359 Speaker 1: they loved each other. It was magic. I wanted it 372 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:50,400 Speaker 1: to work. You can't go home again, baby, I answered 373 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,720 Speaker 1: this before be with someone who dislikes their mom and 374 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,679 Speaker 1: isn't close to her. It depends on what her mom's like. 375 00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:58,359 Speaker 1: Not all moms are created equal. It depends if it's 376 00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:00,840 Speaker 1: very distressing. If this person is very distres respectful, then 377 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:06,040 Speaker 1: I probably know. But that's not a one size fits all. 378 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,240 Speaker 1: Thoughts on boyfriend moving into his parents' home for caretaking purposes. 379 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:12,320 Speaker 1: It's a very hard one. I understand it. It's admirable. 380 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 1: It means it's a beautiful human being. It means you're 381 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,880 Speaker 1: gonna have to find ways to control this. It means 382 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 1: you're gonna feel like you're a bad person because it's annoying. 383 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,680 Speaker 1: It means like you it's something it's across to bear. 384 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,119 Speaker 1: It means when you meet someone, you have to know 385 00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: who their family is, because you are ultimately marrying their family. 386 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 1: If they're close to their family. You're marrying any children 387 00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:37,320 Speaker 1: who may have special needs or parents. You're marrying their siblings, 388 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: You're marrying their job, their coworkers, You're marrying a lot 389 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:44,560 Speaker 1: of different things. Is it possible to be too pretty 390 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:48,199 Speaker 1: to find a man. No, because there's a seat forever. Yes, 391 00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,160 Speaker 1: but it's possible that it's hard for a pretty person 392 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,480 Speaker 1: to find a man. But it's because you're not focusing 393 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,960 Speaker 1: on your personality. You're focusing on your looks. The fact 394 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: that you even asked that means you're focusing on your looks. 395 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,080 Speaker 1: You should be focusing on your personality. And you engage, 396 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,119 Speaker 1: and if you know you're so pretty, you'll have to 397 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,080 Speaker 1: find clever, non desperate ways to engage, to make the 398 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,280 Speaker 1: first move without it seeming like you're making the first 399 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:11,600 Speaker 1: move but then getting an inkling of your flirtation. You'll 400 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,760 Speaker 1: have to find a way. So anything's possible. But I 401 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:18,320 Speaker 1: don't think that's your problem. How soon do you expect 402 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:19,880 Speaker 1: a text after a first date that the text went 403 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 1: very well that night, some check in had a great 404 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 1: time tonight, if not the next day. If the guy 405 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 1: doesn't text you the next day's not into you and 406 00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:29,399 Speaker 1: or he's an insecure loser, I'm neither or great. You 407 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,200 Speaker 1: could still go out with them again, because you could 408 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 1: also win. You can always get the ball back. I 409 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 1: don't like it, though, I don't like it. Nobody I 410 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 1: got time, I want to be nowhere, I stand at 411 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: all times. Two pieces of advice. One get a personality test. 412 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:45,679 Speaker 1: Take a personality test. This will tell you who you 413 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,760 Speaker 1: are in the world, how you deal with things, what 414 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 1: type of employer you are, what type of person worker, etc. 415 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 1: How you deal with life. Take an attachment theory test. 416 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,399 Speaker 1: It will tell you who you are in a relationship, 417 00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,560 Speaker 1: how you attach. Are you anxious attack? Do you have 418 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 1: a panic attack if someone's not constantly in contact? Are 419 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,679 Speaker 1: you avoidant attachment where you kind of like if it 420 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 1: gets close you get scared. Are you a hybrid? Are 421 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: you healthy attachment? This is all real. This is all 422 00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:16,119 Speaker 1: based on how we attached with our parents as a child, 423 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,359 Speaker 1: and it can be dysfunctional. Even if your parents have 424 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,960 Speaker 1: been together for seventy years, it doesn't mean everything has 425 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:23,359 Speaker 1: to be like a perfect relationship. You could have parents 426 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,359 Speaker 1: that never expressed feelings. They just don't believe in that. 427 00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:30,320 Speaker 1: They're just sort of cold but loving and good, solid 428 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:33,040 Speaker 1: parents that have morals and integrity, But they grew up 429 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,399 Speaker 1: in a household where people don't express feelings. That could 430 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,800 Speaker 1: lead to an attachment disorder. You don't know how to 431 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,600 Speaker 1: properly communicate and connect. Someone tells you they love you, 432 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 1: That's when things get scary. Things get too close to committed. 433 00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 1: That's when things get scary. You run away. Just know 434 00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:50,359 Speaker 1: where you stand and know where someone else stands, so 435 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:52,239 Speaker 1: you know what you're dealing with. You don't have a 436 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 1: puzzle that is four pieces missing. It's a very I 437 00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,840 Speaker 1: wish I knew any of this as a thirty year old. 438 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 1: I've learned this all in my fifties a fucking waste, 439 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:03,639 Speaker 1: but it's not because the truth is I wouldn't have 440 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,639 Speaker 1: wanted to be with someone of my thirties. Honestly, I 441 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 1: would never. This is like I'm getting at the age 442 00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 1: an hour like this is like we're this is the 443 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,360 Speaker 1: person you're gonna spend your whole life with. So it's 444 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:16,480 Speaker 1: never too late, especially if you're a supermodel, not going 445 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,119 Speaker 1: on dating apps. How you put yourself out there when 446 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 1: doing hobbies et cetera. Gym classes, clubs, private clubs, learn 447 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:30,600 Speaker 1: a language, work events, work mixer events like work events, 448 00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:35,360 Speaker 1: work trips, work events, holiday parties, cocktail parties, and talk 449 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,119 Speaker 1: to people. Go out of your way. Don't get a 450 00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:40,920 Speaker 1: bad reputation, don't sleep around, don't be the one who 451 00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:45,000 Speaker 1: gets too drunk is overserved. Always pay attention to how 452 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,040 Speaker 1: you look. When you're gonna be interacting with other men, 453 00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:50,040 Speaker 1: you have to be some version of social to meet 454 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:53,440 Speaker 1: someone single, working, parent, three year old, trying to figure 455 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:55,119 Speaker 1: out how to re enter dating but I am tired 456 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 1: do online dating. Set them up as lunches, early drinks, coffee, 457 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,120 Speaker 1: find activities. You will find like minded people. Many men 458 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,920 Speaker 1: that I know are slugs. They're boring, they're exhausted, they 459 00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:07,320 Speaker 1: want to go to bed at eight. There are a 460 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,639 Speaker 1: lot of exhausted, boring people. Find yourself another one, or 461 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,880 Speaker 1: someone who's not boring but likes to go to bed early, 462 00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:18,439 Speaker 1: that doesn't drink, whatever it is. Someone who doesn't drink 463 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:22,640 Speaker 1: or do drugs is probably going to be less activating 464 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:38,280 Speaker 1: as someone who does.