1 00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:07,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to Jay dot m a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:15,640 Speaker 1: What's up You're doing? Uh, Welcome back to Jay dot 3 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:19,840 Speaker 1: Ilva podcast. I am here with my sister friends. You 4 00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 1: know at this point who they are. You know, I'm 5 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,000 Speaker 1: gonna be real clear with you about who they are 6 00:00:25,079 --> 00:00:31,600 Speaker 1: to me, these two women here, It's not really an 7 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: everyday occurrence when you meet two women that can lift you. 8 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 1: Like Seriously, I'm no like John. You know what I'm saying. 9 00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:48,160 Speaker 1: I am no like John. Whatever I'm saying. The truth 10 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,599 Speaker 1: is when you have some women, um that some friends, 11 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: Let's be real clear, some friends that can lift your spirits, 12 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: that can check you and hold you accountable, that can 13 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 1: love you through that accountability, who can be real honest 14 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:06,760 Speaker 1: with you, patient with you, like super thoughtful loving that 15 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,840 Speaker 1: that kind of thing goes a long long way, especially 16 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: in a year like two. I'm going to shout out 17 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 1: age of great danceler you like st Clair. You know 18 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:29,440 Speaker 1: that's right, That's right, That's right man, that's you know, 19 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:36,840 Speaker 1: that's us. It's like, no, no, seriously, this this. I 20 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: have had some really good conversations with both of you 21 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: this year offline listen that I feel like are just 22 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: so indicative of the type of relationship that we have 23 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: built through this medium. So we I don't feel like 24 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 1: we're the same women to each other prior. I feel 25 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: like this has opened up something between us that is 26 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:12,440 Speaker 1: I don't know, like I feel like it's like another layer. 27 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: I have not come out of this experience with you 28 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,959 Speaker 1: all the same that I went into it, the cry 29 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: all the time. WI. What I'm saying is that this 30 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: is the kind of friendship that that takes years. You know, 31 00:02:27,919 --> 00:02:30,760 Speaker 1: you don't just you don't just jump and rush on 32 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 1: this type of thing here. You know, there were years 33 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 1: that we all knew each other, but this is, uh, 34 00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: I mean we know each other. Yes, this is this 35 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:46,600 Speaker 1: was this was a level up. Wow, it was a boost. 36 00:02:46,639 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 1: I say, it's a booster. Yeah, for sure, booster you know, 37 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:53,679 Speaker 1: even stronger. Yeah. It rounded that thing out, It gave 38 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 1: it details, It put the shellac on the thing like 39 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: it did a lot. It did a lot. Thank you 40 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:07,919 Speaker 1: jad Ettle podcast, because this has been really something because baby, um, 41 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: first of all, I got KOVID twice. I don't know 42 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:16,359 Speaker 1: about anybody else listeners, but that that second time getting COVID, 43 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:22,519 Speaker 1: I I don't know. I was like, well, lord, has 44 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 1: a good time, and I thank you. I thank you 45 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,799 Speaker 1: for all the good times that I had right here, 46 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:39,840 Speaker 1: ub room, sound like, don't even speaking. Don't you better? 47 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: I know better, trust me when I tell you, y'all, 48 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: I know better. But I felt so bad and it 49 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: just seemed like it was um everywhere for my whole body, 50 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 1: my whole you know, Psyche. I was like, no, this 51 00:03:57,240 --> 00:04:00,440 Speaker 1: thinks and then how about this, Jill? Would you have 52 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 1: ever thought that? After that? That's something else would have 53 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 1: crept up on our ass. I call it the r 54 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,480 Speaker 1: G s r CV had that too. Write all the 55 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: listen in my life, it was always the RBG, the 56 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: Red Black Men Rain, But we got this whole other thing. Yeah, 57 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,720 Speaker 1: what the hell. But let me tell you. Two was 58 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:20,839 Speaker 1: the year of me getting COVID. To me two years 59 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:26,600 Speaker 1: no COVID on Jude Teeth Nikel. I had it on 60 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: New Year's Eve shoot, So I brought in two in isolation. Yeah, 61 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: I did you know? It was a vaccinated COVID for me. 62 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:42,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm just grateful because I was vaccinated. Because 63 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: y'all know a couple of years ago, the year before, 64 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 1: we were seeing people really like we think like Jill. 65 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:52,280 Speaker 1: Imagine you thought she was going through it, but without 66 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:56,599 Speaker 1: any corparation or vaccination or anything like I can't even imagine. 67 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 1: I started twenty two in January and got coked it 68 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: and I ended in December with COVID. So this year, like, 69 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: I feel like that's definitely a sign. You know. Um, 70 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 1: I'm out here looking for signs and omens and remarkable 71 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: things that that are a part of the journey of 72 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,200 Speaker 1: this here existence, you know what I'm saying, And I 73 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 1: feel like that is one of them. Like, I still 74 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:27,600 Speaker 1: I'm not quite sure, but I do know that one 75 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:32,520 Speaker 1: no punk on on many many levels. Financially when No 76 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,040 Speaker 1: Punk I had to deal with some things that I 77 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,679 Speaker 1: was like, oh no, um, I'm gonna have to sue 78 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:43,599 Speaker 1: some people. I hate that, but I have to fock 79 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: everybody ignoring some things because financially, I'm like, we're gonna 80 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:55,040 Speaker 1: deal with I definitely had to let some people go 81 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:59,559 Speaker 1: to but the awareness awareness and to let some people 82 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,240 Speaker 1: go yeah and that, And it still doesn't feel right. 83 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 1: It still doesn't like it hurts, but it's also necessary 84 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:11,279 Speaker 1: because we're not going any further than this where there 85 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: is a maybe in a few years or whatever, but 86 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 1: not now. And there's no need to to sit there 87 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 1: and try to um pull the thing apart unless there's 88 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: an understanding on both sides, and that just isn't. There's not. 89 00:06:25,279 --> 00:06:28,760 Speaker 1: There's a friend who does not know who I am, 90 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:33,600 Speaker 1: and I can't continue to explain my soul. You don't 91 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 1: get it, then you don't get it, and that you 92 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 1: know this was you don't so Yeah that that that 93 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 1: little musical moment did a thing for the girlies, for 94 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: the growing as girlies. Yes, and yes, everybody, I'm everybody, 95 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: everybode you know. It's it's very Really, do you have 96 00:06:59,839 --> 00:07:05,599 Speaker 1: a a moment, a musical moment that speaks to everybody? Yeah, everybody. 97 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:07,920 Speaker 1: And you gotta give it up to Beyonce for that 98 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:17,440 Speaker 1: mean us a moment. She gave us a moment. Yes, 99 00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 1: comfortable in my skin? Wow, oh god, don't do it. 100 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 1: I am stopping skinny year of what kinda forever? It's 101 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:36,200 Speaker 1: too much. And King, the woman King did things for me. 102 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,520 Speaker 1: I ain't gonna hold you up. My back got straighter. 103 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,400 Speaker 1: We're watching the woman King tears that I didn't know 104 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:46,720 Speaker 1: we're waiting for me. I did. I cried a good 105 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 1: hard one to that that whole mother daughter relationship. How 106 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: powerful that was. Baby. I needed that. I needed that 107 00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,920 Speaker 1: and didn't know I needed it. So I'm real grateful 108 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:02,560 Speaker 1: for the new is it heard? And I'm grateful for 109 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 1: the things seen and the things felt, because um, this 110 00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,680 Speaker 1: was this was I mean, we we ended off the 111 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 1: year with with twitch that was life. Like you know 112 00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: that it's these highs and lows, baby, this this these 113 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:27,520 Speaker 1: highs and lows. But I think also to like one 114 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 1: thing the last few years has taught us is you know, 115 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: the fragility of life and the fragility of just the 116 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,679 Speaker 1: human spirit that we have to We talk about how 117 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,600 Speaker 1: strong the human spirit is. We do talk about that, 118 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 1: but I think we found out is that it also 119 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:45,800 Speaker 1: is a thing that needs to be nurtured. It's a 120 00:08:45,880 --> 00:08:49,440 Speaker 1: thing that needs that cannot just expect for it to 121 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: just show up as itself and it's full glory just 122 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 1: because right, it has to be a thing that we 123 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: feed on a consistent basis, and it has to be 124 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: a thing that we demand be acknowledged in all of 125 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,880 Speaker 1: the spaces that we take up. So it's like we're 126 00:09:07,920 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 1: not used to I mean, these this past year in 127 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: particular help me understand that my my spirit has to 128 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 1: be fed in all the places where my body shows up. 129 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 1: Oh so if I'm in that place, if I'm physically 130 00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:25,360 Speaker 1: in that place, I need to demand and not be 131 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:28,439 Speaker 1: afraid that it feeds my spirit and then it does 132 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,640 Speaker 1: not drain it. And if in fact it drains it 133 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,320 Speaker 1: to no fault to my own or anyone else's that 134 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:39,400 Speaker 1: I'm intentional about, you know, reigniting that and and nurturing 135 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: it and and and taking care of it the same 136 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: way I would if I was physically tired, even I 137 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:49,760 Speaker 1: was physically pained, you know what I'm saying. M hmm, 138 00:09:55,160 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 1: more real talk after the break. I've learned in this year, um, 139 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:15,199 Speaker 1: particularly that there is a there is a direct connection 140 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: between how I feel physically and how I feel, you know, 141 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:25,199 Speaker 1: spiritually and emotionally and mentally, like like these things are 142 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: connected clearly. Yeah, I don't think it's an accident. I 143 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: don't think there any accidents anyway. No, I like, I 144 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:35,520 Speaker 1: don't know. If I didn't, I didn't didn't tell the 145 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,559 Speaker 1: rest of you all listening. But you know, definitely went 146 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 1: through a series of weeks where I was um, it 147 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,200 Speaker 1: started to feel like an attack because it was like 148 00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:49,040 Speaker 1: one thing after another, like, um, I had a flood 149 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 1: in my house. Um, that was not pleasant. I got 150 00:10:55,200 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: COVID and that clearly was not what I was looking for. 151 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 1: Shivers and sweats and fevers and um, dizziness and dreams, 152 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 1: my goodness, crazy, wild, vivid dreams outs of those um. 153 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 1: And then right after I finished with COVID, I got 154 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 1: I woke up in my eyes were swollen almost shut. 155 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:24,360 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, alright, alright, alright, what in the what 156 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: in the heat? Hall? And then and then on top 157 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:31,000 Speaker 1: of that, right after the eyes started to get better, 158 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:35,360 Speaker 1: my cycle comes and she ain't no punk even that's well, 159 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 1: all right, don't you love it when it's like that. 160 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,600 Speaker 1: It's when it gets like that's when you get That's 161 00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: when you start doing the crazy laugh. Yeah, that's all 162 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 1: you can do, but laughter where you'd be like, He'll 163 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 1: be like, I'm just going to laugh at this moment 164 00:11:51,360 --> 00:12:04,719 Speaker 1: because you wow God. And from there, yeah, I think 165 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,440 Speaker 1: that the thing is have been flow thing that we 166 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: learned that the quality of our lives is not really 167 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:14,080 Speaker 1: about these constantly being in these great moments, but just 168 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: how we flow through all the moments. Do we have 169 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: a strategy about the way that we flow through the 170 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:25,520 Speaker 1: way that life presents itself because everyone here has experienced 171 00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:29,760 Speaker 1: some amazing ship and some really jacked up stuff, almost 172 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 1: not just in tandem, but simultaneously. Hey, you can be 173 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:38,719 Speaker 1: in a moment and joy. Yo. I'm sorry, But on 174 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 1: that note, do y'all realize that on the weekend. And 175 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:42,960 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say this because I know he don't listen. 176 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:45,360 Speaker 1: On the weekend, I got my five broys out that 177 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:53,559 Speaker 1: my my boyfriend became a grandfather. Listen to me the 178 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:57,440 Speaker 1: same speak to us about it. I got twenty five 179 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:02,320 Speaker 1: boys removed. My boy friend became a grandfather. He was 180 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:07,160 Speaker 1: running between hospitals. See, that's that, That's that of a level. 181 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about. Like, So, I just in 182 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 1: this moment as y'all talking, I'm thinking to myself, wanted 183 00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,440 Speaker 1: I didn't think that. I didn't think I had anything 184 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,840 Speaker 1: profound to say on this note as y'all were speaking 185 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: so profoundly, and I was like, well, I think that 186 00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:25,560 Speaker 1: I have learned to uh, to follow God's path and 187 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 1: have faith and not always react um and the most 188 00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:34,640 Speaker 1: obvious or the ways that you would have previously, you know, 189 00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:38,800 Speaker 1: to fully open yourself up. So in all these journeys 190 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 1: this year, it's just it's just interested in having this conversation. 191 00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:43,840 Speaker 1: I just talked to girlfriend off the ledge because she 192 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:46,200 Speaker 1: she missed a flight to come home to see her family, 193 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 1: and I was like, but you was frantic. You hadn't 194 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,720 Speaker 1: eat until you would have got on that flight, and 195 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:52,640 Speaker 1: you wouldn't have had anything to eat, and you wouldn't 196 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 1: have been five hours and you would be so fucked up, 197 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,400 Speaker 1: and your your nerves would be bad, and you're bad 198 00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:59,040 Speaker 1: would be your back would be sucked up and all 199 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 1: these things. And I was like, sometimes you just gotta 200 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,640 Speaker 1: have faith in God's decisions that he makes for you. 201 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: That seems like it's the end of the world, but 202 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,640 Speaker 1: it's actually just a different aspect of what you're supposed 203 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:15,560 Speaker 1: to be doing. Like just it's not the end. So 204 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:20,080 Speaker 1: that's that we can kind of meant that from me 205 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,960 Speaker 1: in this this journey, like I'm just taking his lead, 206 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 1: her league whomemberous lead I'm riding. Yeah, I'm gonna just 207 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:32,160 Speaker 1: be healthy in the path. You know, I'm out here, 208 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 1: And it suggests to everybody. You probably read it before, 209 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 1: you know, if you're listening to Jay dot Ill. You 210 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:42,520 Speaker 1: probably haven't. If you haven't, um, grab it, pick it up. 211 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,320 Speaker 1: I would really suggest everybody to read The Alchemist again. 212 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:51,040 Speaker 1: Go back in. Okay, go back and read it again. 213 00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:56,000 Speaker 1: It's um, I haven't. I will give me. You know, 214 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:59,840 Speaker 1: I've never felt like the Bible was like a completed work. 215 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 1: You know, I don't think that any of the religious 216 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:06,200 Speaker 1: books are completed works. I think that they continue. You know, 217 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: I probably have said this before, but you know, I 218 00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:11,800 Speaker 1: feel like there's a there should be a book of Whitney. 219 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: You know, this this young person, this woman that came 220 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 1: to this planet and could sing like a bird. She 221 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:23,280 Speaker 1: could stop time with this voice that nothing but a 222 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:27,360 Speaker 1: bell and anointed just and when I say that, I 223 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:32,080 Speaker 1: don't mean any particular religiousness, I just mean the kind 224 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:35,640 Speaker 1: of voice that stops, stops everything else, so you have 225 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 1: to stop, and you know, you have to pay through it. 226 00:15:38,400 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: And her having in existence where she could not be 227 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:44,200 Speaker 1: all of who she was. These are these are these 228 00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 1: are Bible stories, the stories Michael, this little boy who 229 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:59,360 Speaker 1: had all of this talent, amazing talents. That's what I 230 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:03,680 Speaker 1: really feel is happening. There. There miracles all the time, 231 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:09,560 Speaker 1: and there are people who represent so much more than 232 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 1: just there outward talent. You know, you've got somebody like 233 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 1: Michael Jackson, the Book of Michael. You know, he's just lonely, 234 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:23,240 Speaker 1: super talented little boy with a lot of pressure on 235 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:27,400 Speaker 1: his back, a lot You know clearly these things. If 236 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,520 Speaker 1: you're not grounded, you know, if you don't have people 237 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:34,000 Speaker 1: around you to tell you know, you know you're you're 238 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,280 Speaker 1: headed in the wrong direction. You need a break. You 239 00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:40,520 Speaker 1: know that that life is not just about how much 240 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 1: you're taking in, you know, um and and giving out. 241 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:49,480 Speaker 1: That there's something in between that you cannot move forward, 242 00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:53,120 Speaker 1: you cannot move without some level of But I think 243 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 1: also to like what you're saying. What what's really resonated 244 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 1: with me about what you're saying is that there is 245 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:01,520 Speaker 1: value in the of the experience of others, and that 246 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,920 Speaker 1: there's parable and the lived experience of others, and that 247 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,160 Speaker 1: if we can come into this knowing of listening to 248 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:11,800 Speaker 1: each other as a sacred act, so listening to each 249 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:15,760 Speaker 1: other's lived experiences and what we were watching and listening 250 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:19,640 Speaker 1: to how people experience the world, that we can remind 251 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 1: ourselves of our own humanity and we can be tied 252 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,879 Speaker 1: to the spirit of God and that we can be 253 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:30,399 Speaker 1: tied into our own purpose without a feeling of isolation, 254 00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:34,000 Speaker 1: because it's the isolation that kills you, not just the 255 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: physical isolation, but the mental and emotional isolation that says, 256 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:41,280 Speaker 1: I am only experiencing this. I am the person who 257 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:43,560 Speaker 1: is in pain. I am the person who is feeling 258 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:47,040 Speaker 1: this thing. And that that's that feeling of that no 259 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:51,399 Speaker 1: one else can understand. Is that moment where you begin 260 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,639 Speaker 1: to separate yourself from the parable of others. And that's 261 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,560 Speaker 1: where I feel like we are all So what I'm 262 00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:01,679 Speaker 1: getting from you, that's the day that we that our 263 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:10,520 Speaker 1: lives are our sacred text quick, quicker intellectual note. I 264 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 1: just want to let everybody know that The Alchemist is 265 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:17,639 Speaker 1: available on audiobook, and UM, you're not stupid, guys. Parable 266 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:20,639 Speaker 1: is a simple story used to illustrate a moral or 267 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:24,600 Speaker 1: spiritual lesson. Age is really smart, she said. She she 268 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,199 Speaker 1: I don't go to college, but just just I don't know. 269 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:32,200 Speaker 1: She is like, we don't use that in regular conversation, 270 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: but we knew the book Parable the Sower. I know. Yeah, 271 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:38,080 Speaker 1: I'll tell you. We really sit here as students, and um, 272 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:43,280 Speaker 1: all the time, I have no shame in my game. 273 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: Who don't smith? So let's you know. Sometimes they're they're 274 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:56,160 Speaker 1: sometimes they're not. I get tone tied, just like the 275 00:18:56,920 --> 00:19:00,560 Speaker 1: somebody else I'm just saying, ages is about that? Can 276 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 1: I ask you all a question? I'm sorry it's a 277 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:05,720 Speaker 1: total rabbit hole, but it is question. We're talking about 278 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:12,080 Speaker 1: Octavia Butler Kindred. Anyone, I'm ready, anyone listen. I'm only 279 00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 1: an episode seven, okay, And I want to tell you 280 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 1: guys something I don't tell me. Don't tell me, don't spoilers. 281 00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,720 Speaker 1: We don't do spoilers. I've I'll say this to you. 282 00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 1: I am a person who does not tire of stories 283 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 1: of narratives that come out of the experience of formally 284 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: enslaved or enslaved people. Whether it is a true story, 285 00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:36,640 Speaker 1: whether it is one out of the imagination of someone, 286 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,639 Speaker 1: I don't tire of that. I'm fine with it. I 287 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:44,480 Speaker 1: want other stories. We talked about this this year, we 288 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,760 Speaker 1: talked about having more diversity. One thing I will say 289 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 1: about my experience with Kindred is that because even with 290 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:57,600 Speaker 1: Octavia's work is so weighty as a as an author, 291 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 1: that this this, watching this, it's I feel like I've 292 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:09,720 Speaker 1: had to pace myself. That's what I'm a person who 293 00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,040 Speaker 1: will just take it. Give me me, give me, give me. 294 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 1: I want to see till I want to see a man. 295 00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,880 Speaker 1: It's a patient. I want to see all the Lord. Girl, 296 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,200 Speaker 1: you know I'm that person. I'm that girl. I'm good. 297 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 1: Let's tell me, tell me the things. But I have 298 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,920 Speaker 1: had to pace myself through this. So I just want 299 00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:33,520 Speaker 1: to put that out there, just like I've enjoyed it. 300 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,679 Speaker 1: I have got I love some of the updates. So 301 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 1: if you've read the book and you're ready for a 302 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,879 Speaker 1: more kind of modern take or current, not modern, but 303 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,600 Speaker 1: current take on some of the elements of the book, 304 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:50,040 Speaker 1: I'm here for it. But girl may be but yes 305 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,879 Speaker 1: to Kindred and yes to me not even knowing again, 306 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,040 Speaker 1: and I've said this on the on the show, I 307 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 1: didn't even know about the book until after we did 308 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:01,639 Speaker 1: the group. I started on wild Seats, so this is 309 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:04,880 Speaker 1: all kind of me and said, oh, is your group 310 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 1: named after the doctor Octavia Butler book. I'm like, no, 311 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 1: and it just sent me and she's my favorite. So 312 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:14,840 Speaker 1: I ever said that to me. But for any of 313 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 1: you who don't know, Ki Octavia Butler is the writer 314 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:21,400 Speaker 1: of this this um of several books, and she's science 315 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:25,880 Speaker 1: fiction and she's she's writing black science fiction. It's it's 316 00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:31,880 Speaker 1: absolutely fantastic. Just like with most science fiction, she hits 317 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: the head, um, she hits the nail on the head 318 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:40,040 Speaker 1: quite often, and it's really kind of scary. Yes, it 319 00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:45,480 Speaker 1: is very like prophetesseness on page um, even in the 320 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,320 Speaker 1: level of fiction. I would I would absolutely get involved 321 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:52,840 Speaker 1: with some of Otavia Butler. Yeah, she definitely has a 322 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 1: way of centering black women and alternates, alternative universes and 323 00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:05,400 Speaker 1: alternate spaces and then having special powers things like that. 324 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:10,879 Speaker 1: So I feel like it shout out to Mallory Johnson 325 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 1: because I think as an actress it's quite brave to 326 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,640 Speaker 1: not only do Kindred the Woman King, And there's one 327 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,480 Speaker 1: other thing that she did this year and I was like, oh, 328 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:22,000 Speaker 1: she's blacking at the funk out. Oh yeah, Mallory was 329 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,680 Speaker 1: to play the daughter and woman King Jill. She's also 330 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,240 Speaker 1: the star of Kindred. I believe she seems to be English, 331 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,080 Speaker 1: but we won't say so. We don't know. We have 332 00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:38,200 Speaker 1: to speak on the things we know. All we know, Yeah, 333 00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,680 Speaker 1: but what if we are right? That would be funny though, right, 334 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:49,639 Speaker 1: I kind of I mean just giving a little you 335 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:58,480 Speaker 1: already know I what does she st Okay, I'm not 336 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,399 Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm gonna find the girl Google Google. 337 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:07,280 Speaker 1: We'll circle back. We'll still circle it on thattor like 338 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,119 Speaker 1: so this, you know, as people to talk about getting 339 00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,399 Speaker 1: ready for the following year, and you know, having a 340 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:18,520 Speaker 1: mantra or a mottel or something. Um, I don't. I think, 341 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,920 Speaker 1: I don't know that I have a mantray just yet. 342 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,239 Speaker 1: But I will say that I am definitely going to 343 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:31,720 Speaker 1: focus on my physical health because this last this last 344 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,520 Speaker 1: couple of months was like bang bang bang bang bang, bitch, 345 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 1: you ain't doing something right and you need to So, UM, 346 00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 1: I got a I got a couple of good ideas 347 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,880 Speaker 1: where that labs. Um. I don't necessarily want to tell 348 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,400 Speaker 1: you that, but I'm I'm going to focus on these 349 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 1: things and try to get to another side. I am 350 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,960 Speaker 1: going to get you will. I'm glad you came to that. 351 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,080 Speaker 1: I didn't even think about that as the possibility. I'm 352 00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:01,439 Speaker 1: proud of your friend. Listen. I I just really believe that, 353 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:06,800 Speaker 1: you know, we don't we literally walk by faith. Literally, 354 00:24:08,359 --> 00:24:10,239 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know if that helps anybody but 355 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: I believe that, and maybe there's some areas where I 356 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:19,159 Speaker 1: need to reconnect in that in that space. And I've 357 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 1: really enjoyed my relationship, which all of my whole life, 358 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:30,119 Speaker 1: I've really enjoyed it. And you know, it's not a given, 359 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:36,679 Speaker 1: it's a gift, and I'm going to dig in yet again, 360 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,359 Speaker 1: but for the greater of me, and I'm glad that 361 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:46,760 Speaker 1: I'm starting with the Alchemist again. It reads different these 362 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,679 Speaker 1: you know, six years later since the last time I 363 00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:56,520 Speaker 1: read it. It reads different like, uh yeah, so um 364 00:24:56,520 --> 00:25:04,840 Speaker 1: getting get involved in that Alchemist and let's talk about it. Yeah, 365 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,879 Speaker 1: we're gonna take a quick break and then we'll be 366 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:22,920 Speaker 1: right back. I feel like for me is going to 367 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:27,240 Speaker 1: be the year of I don't know, you know what 368 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,640 Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, it's like, I love that you all. 369 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 1: It's it's a great source of pride and kindness. And 370 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,120 Speaker 1: when you all speak about that, you think you feel 371 00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:43,360 Speaker 1: that I'm smarter, intelligent, or you know whatever. The different 372 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 1: many many beautiful things that you have said about me. 373 00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:49,760 Speaker 1: And so I think this year is gonna be about 374 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,240 Speaker 1: me just kind of being open to things that I 375 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 1: do not know, but specifically things I don't know about 376 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:58,560 Speaker 1: myself and like I feel like that's gonna be my energy. 377 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:02,679 Speaker 1: But I really want to spend this year meeting every 378 00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:06,360 Speaker 1: experience as if I don't have anything to bring to it, 379 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,480 Speaker 1: Like I just want to meet every experience like just 380 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:15,520 Speaker 1: open and just kind of coming with love, and because 381 00:26:15,560 --> 00:26:17,640 Speaker 1: I want to know what it feels like to just 382 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,480 Speaker 1: be present and just kind of be president in my 383 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 1: full kind of you know it just welcoming everything with love. 384 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:29,000 Speaker 1: And my granddaughter really helped me see that that's what 385 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,000 Speaker 1: I wanted to do with this coming year, because it's 386 00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 1: just like, yeah, like every way that I that I 387 00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: approached that was like I had my mom and my 388 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,440 Speaker 1: ear like just go with love, like go with that, 389 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,560 Speaker 1: you know. And I know that sounds a little bit. 390 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,120 Speaker 1: It might feel flighty to some people or it might 391 00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,800 Speaker 1: feel like, oh, that's cute, but like I don't think 392 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,119 Speaker 1: we always approach things with that. We approach things with 393 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 1: a lot of different baggage. We approach things with a 394 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:56,120 Speaker 1: lot of different expectations and a whole lot of things, 395 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:59,160 Speaker 1: whether it be our personal relationships and parenting or our 396 00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,320 Speaker 1: work or whatever we do. And I just have I 397 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 1: don't think I have given all the things in my 398 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,880 Speaker 1: life that same attention that I gave that, I got 399 00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:11,960 Speaker 1: so many people who responded to me about that, how 400 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,880 Speaker 1: I spoke about it publicly and privately, And now I'm 401 00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 1: understanding that if that was something that impacted other people 402 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,320 Speaker 1: and me so much, this is how I have to this. 403 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:23,920 Speaker 1: I have to approach my whole life. And I said 404 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,880 Speaker 1: that I didn't before. I just want to be intentional 405 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 1: this time about it. Like everything that I'm approach is 406 00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:32,040 Speaker 1: going to be in that space where I don't have 407 00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,879 Speaker 1: to I don't. All I have to do is focus 408 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,440 Speaker 1: on feeling that and bringing that love to the space 409 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 1: I want to be in. So that's kind of like, 410 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,640 Speaker 1: you know, I don't. I don't want to sound like 411 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 1: I said. You know, we're quite an instance girl, But 412 00:27:48,320 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 1: that's just about to say you're trying not to sound 413 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 1: neo soul. I got trying to like like a hand. 414 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,480 Speaker 1: You're trying not to sound like a head. It sound 415 00:27:56,520 --> 00:27:58,320 Speaker 1: like a head because I know that that's what that 416 00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:02,400 Speaker 1: you created, that movement. You was a part of them. 417 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:06,080 Speaker 1: So I mean, it's just where I'm at, Like I'm serious, 418 00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:09,320 Speaker 1: because I just, you know, too many times I feel 419 00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:12,159 Speaker 1: like i'm that person that goes into something like, Okay, 420 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:15,400 Speaker 1: let's look at it, let's analyze it, let's figure out 421 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 1: what the next step is. Bam bam bam bam. Right, 422 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:22,880 Speaker 1: I'm not interested. I just want to come in as 423 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:26,880 Speaker 1: the purest former age in every room without knowing the history. 424 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,119 Speaker 1: But I don't know in the history, without knowing the context, 425 00:28:30,240 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 1: without knowing none of that movie. Then yes, heavy is 426 00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:40,160 Speaker 1: the more you know, the heavier against listen. I feel 427 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:42,480 Speaker 1: I feel like that every day especially, this show has 428 00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 1: not helped in that journey, Honey, you don't think I think. 429 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,720 Speaker 1: I mean it has. Okay, it has in a way 430 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,680 Speaker 1: because we have we have we have a show with 431 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:52,720 Speaker 1: the NAP Ministry, so yes, we have. We have talked 432 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,080 Speaker 1: about ways of rest and relaxation, what it looks like. 433 00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,720 Speaker 1: But however, we have given a lot of context, context 434 00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,920 Speaker 1: of things that we may have previously looked at. Its 435 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:06,920 Speaker 1: simple little things. And I have I've been accused of 436 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,440 Speaker 1: times of just like exactly what Agent said. I've been 437 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,200 Speaker 1: accused of just not letting it happen. Why you got 438 00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:14,600 Speaker 1: to give the context to history? And I'm like, but 439 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,960 Speaker 1: don't you But you don't want to know before well, 440 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,360 Speaker 1: I think context of history is good. It's just about 441 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,320 Speaker 1: what we do with it. Do we allow that thing 442 00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,920 Speaker 1: to be the source of an anxiety for us? Do 443 00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 1: we allow that? Yeah? I think that really it's fine 444 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,800 Speaker 1: to have context. It's just have context, but be open, 445 00:29:33,200 --> 00:29:35,200 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, because there's always more to have. 446 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,520 Speaker 1: That's why it goes back to what literally what Jill said, 447 00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:43,600 Speaker 1: listening and being open to the stories of other people, 448 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 1: of these people's life experience, the sacred text that is 449 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 1: other people's experience. You know, the Book of Whitney, But 450 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,800 Speaker 1: I look at the Book of Jail. I've learned from 451 00:29:54,840 --> 00:30:00,480 Speaker 1: the Book of Jail, just literally gay of us a 452 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:04,440 Speaker 1: whole word just now about her experience and the duality 453 00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 1: of life, you know what I'm saying. To to have 454 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:14,920 Speaker 1: two completely different birthing experiences, the birthing of a new life, 455 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 1: you know, and that happened in two different places, and 456 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:22,800 Speaker 1: for her to have a man who was experiencing in 457 00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:26,680 Speaker 1: two different ways, how you were to receive him, how 458 00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 1: he was to receive you. Life didn't change a little 459 00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:33,240 Speaker 1: bit from hearing that. I don't I challenge anyone listening 460 00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,400 Speaker 1: to the podcast today to act like that did not 461 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:39,360 Speaker 1: resonate with you. And just so you know, just to 462 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:44,800 Speaker 1: add another layer, my man is a beautiful, amazing stepfather, 463 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:49,760 Speaker 1: so that will give you another layer. Okay, he is 464 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,680 Speaker 1: not a biological father. So yeah, you know, you write 465 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:55,560 Speaker 1: the book. The books. The books are thick, and your 466 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 1: your book is stick to Asia. And I'm happy to share. 467 00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:01,720 Speaker 1: And I'm happy to share because at the end of 468 00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:06,560 Speaker 1: I that's another thing that I feel for is except 469 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,400 Speaker 1: in the own kind of the beauty of my own 470 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 1: experience and owning that it is a beautiful experience. It's 471 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:21,360 Speaker 1: a beautiful freaking life, and it's a beautiful it absolutely 472 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:28,440 Speaker 1: can be like realizing. Okay, ums, anxiety has been quite 473 00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:36,840 Speaker 1: a big thing in Yeah, you know, and because um, 474 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,200 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, the whole world changed on everyone's 475 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,560 Speaker 1: from coming outside getting dressed, coming outside was now gives 476 00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:45,920 Speaker 1: your anxiety because for a year, you don't have to 477 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:53,000 Speaker 1: do it like TikTok, the like TikTok. And the old 478 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,640 Speaker 1: lady she was like, get somebody else to do it. Yeah. 479 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 1: Girl goes up to an older lady in the grocery store. 480 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,000 Speaker 1: She says, excuse me, ma'am, could you record me real quick? 481 00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:07,880 Speaker 1: She said, huh, And he said, excuse me, ma'am, could 482 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,080 Speaker 1: you record me real quick? And she looked at her 483 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:15,040 Speaker 1: said get somebody and that gets somebody else to do it. 484 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:20,480 Speaker 1: Resonated with beat y'all. That's that's I'm taking that. Get 485 00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:26,120 Speaker 1: somebody else to do it. Yes, Sometimes you just you 486 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:31,120 Speaker 1: don't gotta say no, it's okay. You know we've had 487 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:35,200 Speaker 1: this conversation before that you're going to have to say 488 00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:38,520 Speaker 1: no about something and be okay with it. You know, 489 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,560 Speaker 1: I gotta take to take the good, to take the bad. Huh, 490 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:47,000 Speaker 1: you take the both the day you have? What? Okay? 491 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,920 Speaker 1: Hes y'all. Apologies to my girl, Mallory Johnson. She is 492 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:59,760 Speaker 1: from San Diego and a Juliard graduate. Zo zoo ahead, 493 00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:06,920 Speaker 1: I'm here and I'm there everywhere. I love to hear it, 494 00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:14,120 Speaker 1: I love to see it. Yes, yes, So here's here's 495 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 1: my question for you guys. What can kick rocks and 496 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:27,080 Speaker 1: stay there? Raggedy ass in? We can you stay your 497 00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:32,320 Speaker 1: assid COVID go somewhere, go somewhere and bury yourself? Yo. 498 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,200 Speaker 1: I looked to run them down like Trump. I don't 499 00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,400 Speaker 1: think we're gonna I think we're done with you and 500 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,640 Speaker 1: twenty so we're done with you. I think there. Everybody's 501 00:33:40,640 --> 00:33:42,840 Speaker 1: done with you. Your Republicans too, I think, I think, 502 00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 1: I think, I think, I think. Bam, bamn. I'm sorry 503 00:33:49,040 --> 00:33:59,480 Speaker 1: to So this is per history's walk upo yourself. What 504 00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:03,920 Speaker 1: you think you? Um? I am? What? What? What could 505 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:09,839 Speaker 1: go forever? What could kick rocks? And um? Somebody telling 506 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:13,120 Speaker 1: me about my goddamn uterus? Tell me what I can 507 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:17,960 Speaker 1: do with with it. I'm listen, don't tell me what 508 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:23,239 Speaker 1: to do my service. Let's all of us, you mean 509 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:27,719 Speaker 1: all of us, all of us? Of course I do yes, yes, yes, yeah, 510 00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:32,320 Speaker 1: Oh don't do that. Don't do that. It's not your place. 511 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:37,560 Speaker 1: It's just not ever. Stop Stop having meetings in the 512 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:43,040 Speaker 1: middle of night about women. A stop. Why are you 513 00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:47,120 Speaker 1: still talking? I don't understand where are you still talking? 514 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 1: That's actually something's gonna have to work on. Listen, speaking 515 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:58,239 Speaker 1: of coochies, I want them to too, seriously, y'all, Oh 516 00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:03,160 Speaker 1: my god, can we to stop? Can stop enough? It's 517 00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,319 Speaker 1: been enough. It's kind of world unless we're gonna get 518 00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,439 Speaker 1: into some of these penises like what would that's that's 519 00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:11,960 Speaker 1: equalize this situation take away some of its Salista, what 520 00:35:11,960 --> 00:35:16,560 Speaker 1: are we doing one something. I'm just yeah, I'm sorry. 521 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,680 Speaker 1: You know what, I'm real tired of what can kick rocks? 522 00:35:21,120 --> 00:35:26,840 Speaker 1: What could kick rocks for me? Please please read and 523 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:31,520 Speaker 1: invest in a simple Google search. Like seriously, i am 524 00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:38,040 Speaker 1: tired of people on Angela Bassett's Internet posting on numeral 525 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:42,239 Speaker 1: social media platforms without reading a single solitary bit of 526 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,759 Speaker 1: information on the thing that they want to pontificate. And 527 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,520 Speaker 1: I'm tired of them reposting ridiculous crap that they could 528 00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 1: google and realize is wrong, stupid and dumb. I'm sorry, 529 00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:56,880 Speaker 1: Please do it. I love y'all. Please don't be wilfully stupid. 530 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 1: I believe. I ain't gonna lock to you. I belie 531 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,920 Speaker 1: that Black Friday was about selling black people. I did 532 00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,880 Speaker 1: sense to me because because why not? Because why not? 533 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:12,200 Speaker 1: Everything else is such bullshit. I'm gonna go buy me 534 00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:17,840 Speaker 1: and that because of being in the black that that 535 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:20,000 Speaker 1: was a long time ago. But I felt that I 536 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:24,799 Speaker 1: believe before blindly, but blindly I jumped. I was like, yep, 537 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:28,440 Speaker 1: that's saying I've done it myself. What I'm saying is 538 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,320 Speaker 1: that I'm not above it. I'm telling you I've learned, 539 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:36,480 Speaker 1: I've experienced it. I felt the dumbness of believing some 540 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:40,919 Speaker 1: craft that I saw and had to google it, and yes, 541 00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:46,200 Speaker 1: just do it first, look it up, first, first post 542 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,640 Speaker 1: before you post. That's what that's what you're actually supposed 543 00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:54,719 Speaker 1: to do. Read it, read god, do a quick Google search. 544 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:59,600 Speaker 1: I felt mighty dumb when you learned about the black 545 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:03,479 Speaker 1: and the and the thing I feel. I felt madded. No, well, 546 00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:05,719 Speaker 1: I got wanted. I think y'all row with. I was 547 00:37:05,719 --> 00:37:11,040 Speaker 1: gonna say, I think we can have are these powers 548 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:14,359 Speaker 1: that be that give microphones to people who have clear 549 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:20,439 Speaker 1: mental illness? Um, I would like us to reframe these 550 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,600 Speaker 1: mental illness conversations and maybe take care of it before 551 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:25,880 Speaker 1: we give them a mic. I don't know something there's 552 00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:31,360 Speaker 1: something there where people just I don't And I know 553 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,680 Speaker 1: others would say stop having behind mental illness. That probably 554 00:37:34,239 --> 00:37:36,600 Speaker 1: to kick rocks, But I really don't know what that 555 00:37:36,600 --> 00:37:42,480 Speaker 1: looks like because we still acknowledge your mental illness. Well, 556 00:37:43,160 --> 00:37:48,120 Speaker 1: like I said, it's all about again engaging and the 557 00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:53,640 Speaker 1: things that interest you. Something. If you see something that 558 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:59,239 Speaker 1: doesn't this, don't settle right with me? Engage with that thing. 559 00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:04,960 Speaker 1: Child Read an article, read a book, and a book. 560 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:07,160 Speaker 1: When you read an article, in the book, then go 561 00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,520 Speaker 1: find a book in the article that actually is on 562 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:13,200 Speaker 1: the other side of that opinion too. Don't just read 563 00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:25,440 Speaker 1: things that validate your own bias. Know someone else. I 564 00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:29,800 Speaker 1: want you or if you're not, then don't worry about 565 00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:35,000 Speaker 1: it so much about it. Don't say nothing, don't stay quiet. 566 00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:40,399 Speaker 1: That's how that conne things connected like that. You see 567 00:38:40,400 --> 00:38:46,920 Speaker 1: how that connected about solutions around here? We stay dumb, 568 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:54,120 Speaker 1: stay quiet. That is wow. That could hide it. So 569 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:58,520 Speaker 1: if we would not have the situation because when the 570 00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:04,239 Speaker 1: man said he didn't read books ten years ago, yes, 571 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,960 Speaker 1: And when the poor baby said he thought the earth 572 00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:09,920 Speaker 1: was flat, bless him. Wait a minute, Wait a minute, 573 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,800 Speaker 1: but what about the argument that there are no dumb questions? 574 00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:18,880 Speaker 1: There were no questions asked, the only questions there was 575 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,800 Speaker 1: not one. I don't want the people to stop asking questions. 576 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:26,320 Speaker 1: And you can ask the questions and you don't really 577 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,720 Speaker 1: have interest in that thing. Maybe you don't answer the questions. 578 00:39:29,880 --> 00:39:34,560 Speaker 1: Maybe saying we don't ask no backhanded questions, don't ask 579 00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:36,840 Speaker 1: a question that you don't want to answer. For that, 580 00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:39,560 Speaker 1: you're just trying to cause the problem. Because one thing 581 00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,720 Speaker 1: that these young children know about is they know about 582 00:39:42,760 --> 00:39:47,040 Speaker 1: this special word that came came to the public forefront 583 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:52,840 Speaker 1: in ass lighting. These young people know when you gas 584 00:39:52,920 --> 00:39:55,879 Speaker 1: lighting them. So stop asking questions you don't really want 585 00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:57,719 Speaker 1: to know the answer to, because you're trying to make 586 00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:02,520 Speaker 1: somebody look dumb or crazy. No, that's gaslight. You just 587 00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,640 Speaker 1: gave at Oh that is a definition, you know some people. 588 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:10,000 Speaker 1: I think it's you know, there's there's also the love 589 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:14,839 Speaker 1: bombing gaslighting portion. Those two lived together. What's that? Oh, 590 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:19,600 Speaker 1: you're so wonderful, You're just the best that ever happened. 591 00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:23,880 Speaker 1: I think I think the overarching thing is leave the 592 00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:30,560 Speaker 1: narcissism in two mm hmm, leave it mm hmm. Drop 593 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:37,120 Speaker 1: it off, shut up, drop it off, drop it off. Okay, 594 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,680 Speaker 1: oh boy, take it to get a big mac and 595 00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:45,120 Speaker 1: drop it off. Okay. The intentional desire to do harm 596 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:49,560 Speaker 1: to somebody, Uh, without giving me any level of trouble. 597 00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:55,319 Speaker 1: Let it go. Stop it's me. You are the mean. 598 00:40:56,040 --> 00:41:08,040 Speaker 1: That's very means. Stop it, stop it, cut it out. Yeah, 599 00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:23,400 Speaker 1: more conversation after the break. Stop making money off of 600 00:41:23,480 --> 00:41:27,040 Speaker 1: other people's paying at least what I'll give it some 601 00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:32,719 Speaker 1: of it back the money people's mobility. Stop trying to 602 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:36,920 Speaker 1: teach people stop, Stop stop putting out, stop giving wife classes. 603 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:44,000 Speaker 1: M m hmmm mm hmmm. Stop writing books on relationships 604 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:50,040 Speaker 1: when you ten minutes into your marriage. Stop being a 605 00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:53,719 Speaker 1: relationship expert the same reason. Stop listening to people you 606 00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:59,160 Speaker 1: don't even know, really like, sincerely, and when I say 607 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:01,000 Speaker 1: that when it comes to marriage and things like that, 608 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:05,080 Speaker 1: and you're like listening to me, I know, I'm divorced twice. Um, 609 00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:08,400 Speaker 1: I only consider ones. Really the other was it was 610 00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:16,000 Speaker 1: it was, it was we don't talk about in the 611 00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:20,640 Speaker 1: midst um. Anyway, what I'm saying is that I truly 612 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:24,240 Speaker 1: believe this with all sincerity. You want to be around, 613 00:42:24,719 --> 00:42:28,000 Speaker 1: you want to have a happy relationship with somebody, Be 614 00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:31,960 Speaker 1: around happy people. Please, come on, go find some couples 615 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,160 Speaker 1: that actually like each other, that laugh at each other, 616 00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:37,960 Speaker 1: that kiss with their eyes closed, you know, that help 617 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,080 Speaker 1: each other out. They get mad at each other, but 618 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:42,560 Speaker 1: they can still find a way to laugh and enjoy 619 00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:46,960 Speaker 1: one another. You know, break down, you know, as you 620 00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,719 Speaker 1: break down this list, it's gonna be one body. But yes, 621 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:53,080 Speaker 1: people listen like wait a minute, oh wait, no, oh wait, no, okay, 622 00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:55,120 Speaker 1: I know that one couple that I met, we hang 623 00:42:55,280 --> 00:43:00,239 Speaker 1: around them, hang around them. As as as the the 624 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:05,600 Speaker 1: old head in these marital streets. I'm with Jill. I 625 00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:10,799 Speaker 1: would only add one amendment, go it in just being 626 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:15,920 Speaker 1: around happy people period. Many I'm just saying, if you're 627 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:20,520 Speaker 1: trying to emulate a relationship, oh no, if you're trying 628 00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:24,080 Speaker 1: to emulate a relationship, because there are elements you can 629 00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,240 Speaker 1: take from happy people and the way that they relate 630 00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,920 Speaker 1: not only to themselves, to their friends and their workspaces 631 00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:32,799 Speaker 1: that are directly related to how you can take those 632 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:37,879 Speaker 1: same habits and apply them into your relationship. I'm doing 633 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:43,480 Speaker 1: this empathy, happiness, love, These are things that are too big, 634 00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:46,440 Speaker 1: too big to be relegated to only showing up in 635 00:43:46,440 --> 00:43:50,560 Speaker 1: a certain way. And I maintain that the things that 636 00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:53,920 Speaker 1: I feel like have helped my relationship very rarely have 637 00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:57,600 Speaker 1: just come have come from other married couples, have come 638 00:43:57,640 --> 00:44:00,200 Speaker 1: from people who I have seen who are jail. You're 639 00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,760 Speaker 1: only presenting into the world as the as their best selves. 640 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:08,759 Speaker 1: That's how I look at Betty White. Come on, you know, 641 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:10,719 Speaker 1: I didn't know what that was last the year before 642 00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,040 Speaker 1: I always said I didn't. I didn't know Betty White, 643 00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:16,840 Speaker 1: but she seemed to be a very happy individual. However, 644 00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:18,760 Speaker 1: she did not have some of the things that most 645 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,640 Speaker 1: Americans say that it takes to make you a happy individual. 646 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:24,200 Speaker 1: So and that would be maybe a husband and some 647 00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:28,560 Speaker 1: kids and you know the things, the same kids. But 648 00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,400 Speaker 1: I ain't gonna lie to y'all. The women I know 649 00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:36,319 Speaker 1: that don't have children, their skin look good the rest 650 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:40,399 Speaker 1: when they want to, they well rested. They ain't got 651 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:44,640 Speaker 1: no diabetes like no, no, they might. I'm sorry. I 652 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:46,880 Speaker 1: I'm saying, well, I take that back. That was not 653 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:50,319 Speaker 1: that was not responsible, but it was a little bit. 654 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:54,520 Speaker 1: But I'm saying, they look goody good. They feel. We 655 00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:56,440 Speaker 1: think the same about y'all. We we we just I 656 00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:58,560 Speaker 1: feel like one day there needs to be a conference. 657 00:44:58,560 --> 00:45:00,320 Speaker 1: It needs to be a meetings of the same goals 658 00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:03,919 Speaker 1: and the Marrits ladies, you know, just to make sure 659 00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:06,839 Speaker 1: we're constantly on the up and up, communicating and knowing 660 00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:10,880 Speaker 1: that the grass is greener and not greener. Yes, that 661 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,799 Speaker 1: we can tell each other the truth about the truth. 662 00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,920 Speaker 1: That's fair. I think that you're absolutely right on that. Agent. 663 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,920 Speaker 1: It's not just about married couples because at the end 664 00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,240 Speaker 1: and the beginning, in the middle of the day, um, 665 00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:27,560 Speaker 1: it's life is not all about being tied to one person. 666 00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:33,319 Speaker 1: It's not all. That's not an entire existence, not enough 667 00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:36,879 Speaker 1: for everybody, you know, since we're all individuals and we're 668 00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:42,240 Speaker 1: all living these individual lives that are amazingly connected somehow, 669 00:45:42,320 --> 00:45:45,239 Speaker 1: some way. Because I want to tell the girls, like, 670 00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:49,400 Speaker 1: let's leave, let's leave this in Let's stop being worried 671 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:51,879 Speaker 1: about being chosen, because I see so much of that. 672 00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:56,480 Speaker 1: It's a hard job, and you're right right of that energy. 673 00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:05,200 Speaker 1: Choose choose yourself. You don't choose yourself, baby, And let's 674 00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:09,360 Speaker 1: stop pretending that everybody's choice it's the same as your choice. 675 00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:13,520 Speaker 1: That it looks like your choice. That chooses oneself can 676 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,440 Speaker 1: look a lot of ways. Choosing oneself doesn't have to 677 00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:20,640 Speaker 1: mean choosing to be single. It could be anything. I 678 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,359 Speaker 1: just say, stop, let's stop worrying about being chosen in 679 00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:30,520 Speaker 1: every aspect of our lives, not just in relationships. Let's 680 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:34,239 Speaker 1: not worry about being chosen. Somebody I read somewhere that 681 00:46:34,320 --> 00:46:39,760 Speaker 1: somebody said real confidence is humility. I love that because 682 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,319 Speaker 1: confidence is something that you don't have to announce when 683 00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,960 Speaker 1: you come into the room. It's just a thing that's 684 00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:45,960 Speaker 1: a part of your person. That's what I'm gonna tell 685 00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:53,239 Speaker 1: people when they say, stand up humility A humility, girl, 686 00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:58,520 Speaker 1: it's quiet, it's joy joyous confidence. You made a joyous 687 00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:02,000 Speaker 1: person come to add to your your list. That kind 688 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:03,960 Speaker 1: of goes with this. I was gonna say, y'all stop 689 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:07,399 Speaker 1: perceiving life by social media. This is the year that 690 00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:10,400 Speaker 1: we watched they can and have like five children by 691 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:13,799 Speaker 1: the end of this year. He's saying, I'm overstretched, I'm tired. 692 00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:20,640 Speaker 1: I don't know how I can do this. So girl, Yeah, 693 00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,360 Speaker 1: but we kind of we saw that coming up. Now 694 00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:23,920 Speaker 1: we do. But I'm just saying from it's just it's 695 00:47:23,960 --> 00:47:26,960 Speaker 1: just interesting. I A lot of people see perception, and 696 00:47:27,000 --> 00:47:30,879 Speaker 1: I'm like, the reality is you get snapshot to people's life, 697 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:34,760 Speaker 1: and the functionality of things is a whole another work piece. 698 00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:39,399 Speaker 1: You don't get to see the work, not hardly any 699 00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:43,400 Speaker 1: of it really, unless that's you know, somebody's gig, and 700 00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:45,640 Speaker 1: even then you have to question it because you're not 701 00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:51,439 Speaker 1: seeing the time never never, and if anything didn't show 702 00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,920 Speaker 1: it that it was losing twitch. Yeah. You know, like 703 00:47:55,040 --> 00:47:58,960 Speaker 1: everybody's gonna say, seems so happy, he seems so content 704 00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,880 Speaker 1: and successful. It's part of his job to see that 705 00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:04,880 Speaker 1: way too. Like, which is a hard job in itself. 706 00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:09,279 Speaker 1: Any time, any time, I will say this, for us 707 00:48:09,320 --> 00:48:14,200 Speaker 1: as entertainers, we become experts as at being on. Yes, 708 00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:18,719 Speaker 1: they become experts at being on. We become experts at 709 00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:22,080 Speaker 1: being agreeable when the time is necessary and right. One 710 00:48:22,120 --> 00:48:23,520 Speaker 1: of the things I do want to speak about in 711 00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:26,240 Speaker 1: terms of the twitch situations, as I have watched people 712 00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:29,680 Speaker 1: one by one who were actually close to him because 713 00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:33,840 Speaker 1: I was a fan. Okay, that's a different kind of connection. 714 00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:36,359 Speaker 1: But as I start to watch people kind of come 715 00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:38,840 Speaker 1: out of, you know, one by one express their feelings 716 00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:42,759 Speaker 1: about him. This was a person who absolutely had so 717 00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:46,960 Speaker 1: much value in the world to so many beautiful creatives 718 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,319 Speaker 1: to which he lent not only his talents but his 719 00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:52,319 Speaker 1: wisdom and love to them. And they speak about this, 720 00:48:53,120 --> 00:48:55,600 Speaker 1: But one of the things we have to remember is 721 00:48:55,640 --> 00:48:58,200 Speaker 1: that for all of us, as we're in the world 722 00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:01,160 Speaker 1: trying to be these people that we to be right. 723 00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:05,080 Speaker 1: We want to master our craft. I want to help 724 00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:08,799 Speaker 1: other people. We want people to love us. We want 725 00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:16,839 Speaker 1: to be loved, accepted, useful, productive, that if we're not 726 00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:21,319 Speaker 1: turning that love and that attention on ourselves and we 727 00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:24,240 Speaker 1: are not saying to ourselves that we're worthy the things 728 00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:27,560 Speaker 1: that we're working towards. It doesn't really matter at the 729 00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:29,400 Speaker 1: end of the day. And I don't know what his 730 00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:33,360 Speaker 1: actual struggles were. They could be chemical, it could who knows. 731 00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,239 Speaker 1: I don't know what his struggles were, But I don't 732 00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:39,880 Speaker 1: know that. I have watched people close to me and 733 00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:44,239 Speaker 1: myself included, give a lot and leave nothing left for 734 00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:50,560 Speaker 1: the song I've seen it. I hate it, honestly, honestly, like, 735 00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:55,439 Speaker 1: just imagine that that success is address. They don't fit 736 00:49:55,480 --> 00:50:01,440 Speaker 1: everybody the same. The thing got get tailored to you 737 00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,919 Speaker 1: for you. It is just not gonna it's not gonna 738 00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:10,520 Speaker 1: fall right on everybody, you know, And yeah it doesn't. 739 00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:13,319 Speaker 1: It doesn't look the same. If if you gain the 740 00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:17,520 Speaker 1: world but lost your soul, what exactly do you have? 741 00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:23,920 Speaker 1: It's an empty shell that looks really nice on the outside, 742 00:50:24,840 --> 00:50:27,640 Speaker 1: and it's not That is not a life that I 743 00:50:28,040 --> 00:50:31,279 Speaker 1: want for any of you listeners. I don't want that 744 00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:34,719 Speaker 1: for you. I don't want that for any of us. No, no, no, no. 745 00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,040 Speaker 1: I do feel like I'm proud of the ways that 746 00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,759 Speaker 1: we have evolved in some ways, Like even after the 747 00:50:39,800 --> 00:50:44,360 Speaker 1: loss of Twitch, I saw so many people clarify things 748 00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:46,920 Speaker 1: that we've gotten used to sing, oh, this check on 749 00:50:47,000 --> 00:50:50,560 Speaker 1: your strong friend thing, and people are like, yeah, yeah, 750 00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:53,759 Speaker 1: but let's take that a step further. Let's not get 751 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:57,479 Speaker 1: into the empty responses. Let's get the program responses to things. 752 00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:01,399 Speaker 1: I'm actually quite proud of us in some ways. And 753 00:51:01,560 --> 00:51:03,799 Speaker 1: as I've watched not just in two but just in 754 00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:06,960 Speaker 1: the past couple of years, how we have all pushed 755 00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,840 Speaker 1: ourselves to do better and be better and say, you 756 00:51:09,880 --> 00:51:13,560 Speaker 1: know what, that's cool, but that's actually not enough, or 757 00:51:13,680 --> 00:51:16,319 Speaker 1: that's cool, but you have to make sure to remember this. 758 00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:20,000 Speaker 1: And I think that that's okay. That's part of the 759 00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:23,200 Speaker 1: evolution of taking people who pushed things further into the 760 00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:25,880 Speaker 1: next stage. And I had a great conversation with my 761 00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:29,960 Speaker 1: aunt earlier today, who is a baby boomer, and I 762 00:51:30,040 --> 00:51:32,840 Speaker 1: told her I really appreciate boomers because boomers are some 763 00:51:32,880 --> 00:51:35,400 Speaker 1: of the group that first started moving in a different 764 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:39,439 Speaker 1: direction than people ahead of them. They were like, enough 765 00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:42,440 Speaker 1: is the truth, we have to change things. And I 766 00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:45,080 Speaker 1: appreciate where they're coming from. And I look at us 767 00:51:45,080 --> 00:51:53,480 Speaker 1: as gen xers, and yes that they they taught us 768 00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:57,760 Speaker 1: to be brave enough to step outside of the status quo. 769 00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:01,080 Speaker 1: And and if it's anything that I want to acknowledge 770 00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:03,080 Speaker 1: in this moment is that I feel that there is 771 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,480 Speaker 1: something that we have. We took that and we took 772 00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:08,600 Speaker 1: it as far as we could, and now it's time 773 00:52:08,600 --> 00:52:10,360 Speaker 1: for us to encourage the next group to take it 774 00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:13,160 Speaker 1: as far as they can come. I'm proud of the 775 00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:16,040 Speaker 1: way that that has happened. It has had its fails, 776 00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:18,279 Speaker 1: but I want us to come out of this year 777 00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:21,279 Speaker 1: congratulating ourselves for some of the things that we got right. 778 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,400 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and the word Look, black men are saying 779 00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:27,840 Speaker 1: therapy like the barbershop. Let me tell you, it's a feeling. 780 00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:34,600 Speaker 1: Listen to see. I'm I'm just listening to our children 781 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:39,919 Speaker 1: in a different way than ever before, ever before, ever. Yeah, 782 00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:44,440 Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah. We are challenging ourselves to be 783 00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:49,720 Speaker 1: more self aware. Yeah, yeah, I love We got vocabulary 784 00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:54,920 Speaker 1: for it now. But it's worth it. It's worth it. 785 00:52:55,719 --> 00:53:00,520 Speaker 1: We're worth it every day all day. Come on looking 786 00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:05,279 Speaker 1: at each other as whole people stop and criticize it 787 00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:07,799 Speaker 1: and go on, wait a minute, and a person may 788 00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:12,800 Speaker 1: have been through something. Yeah, Yeah, we're learning, we're learning 789 00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:18,719 Speaker 1: about kindness taking it with us. In twenty three yeah, 790 00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:21,319 Speaker 1: I'm gonna read the back of this book for y'all 791 00:53:21,400 --> 00:53:23,520 Speaker 1: real quick and don't say much, but it says this, 792 00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:30,560 Speaker 1: to realize one's destiny is a person's only obligation. Okay, 793 00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:37,200 Speaker 1: that's it. Mm hmm. There's a path that's specifically for you, 794 00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:41,000 Speaker 1: and it it does not fit anybody else's boxes. Maybe 795 00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:43,360 Speaker 1: a couple of things that might fit in there. Real good. 796 00:53:43,880 --> 00:53:49,719 Speaker 1: I don't know. But you are as individual as a 797 00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:55,080 Speaker 1: rain drop, yours individual. Really you are, really, we'd molect 798 00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:58,759 Speaker 1: you down to your your your d n A. You're 799 00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:03,920 Speaker 1: You're amazing and I hope you figured that out. I 800 00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:05,919 Speaker 1: hope you figured out, and I hope you enjoy it 801 00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,720 Speaker 1: because there's nobody else like you, not even your twin, 802 00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:14,000 Speaker 1: not even your best friend, not even your sister, your brother. No, no, no, 803 00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:18,040 Speaker 1: you are you and the life that you want is 804 00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:22,560 Speaker 1: up for you to design. You can't have it, and 805 00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:24,759 Speaker 1: I want you to go get it. Happy New Year 806 00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:39,359 Speaker 1: and bitches road from that COVID Right, it's not a trap. 807 00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:42,480 Speaker 1: Down out the phone form. Okay, keep your eyes open, 808 00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,920 Speaker 1: keep your eyes open. Bless you. Thanks for listening to 809 00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:52,000 Speaker 1: Ja Dot Elder podcast. Were alive around here, we are 810 00:54:52,120 --> 00:55:02,040 Speaker 1: alive peace. How do you eat in of one? By 811 00:55:02,080 --> 00:55:09,920 Speaker 1: it time? Hey, listeners, it's Amber, the producer. Here was 812 00:55:10,080 --> 00:55:14,200 Speaker 1: a wild one. Take what you need and leave the rest. 813 00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:19,239 Speaker 1: Joe mentioned reading The Alchemist again. I second this. It's 814 00:55:19,280 --> 00:55:22,120 Speaker 1: one of my favorite books by one of my favorite authors, 815 00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:25,000 Speaker 1: and I will be joining her on that journey. If 816 00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:27,000 Speaker 1: you're interested, I'll drop a link in the show notes. 817 00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:29,799 Speaker 1: I hope that you end this year in whatever way 818 00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:32,360 Speaker 1: you need to, and I want to leave you with 819 00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:35,640 Speaker 1: a really incredible tool a dear friend shared with me recently. 820 00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:40,080 Speaker 1: It's called the Year Compass. It's his free printable booklet 821 00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,520 Speaker 1: that helps you reflect on the year and plan the 822 00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:45,560 Speaker 1: next one. It has a set of carefully selected questions 823 00:55:45,560 --> 00:55:49,200 Speaker 1: and exercises that help you really uncover your own patterns 824 00:55:49,360 --> 00:55:53,600 Speaker 1: and design the ideal year for yourself. It really helps 825 00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:57,719 Speaker 1: you to see and learn from your mistakes, celebrate your victories, 826 00:55:57,920 --> 00:56:00,640 Speaker 1: and set out on a path that you want to walk. 827 00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:03,239 Speaker 1: All you need is to acquire a few hours in 828 00:56:03,280 --> 00:56:05,760 Speaker 1: the booklet. I'll drop a link in our show notes. 829 00:56:06,360 --> 00:56:11,560 Speaker 1: Wishing you all a soft, juicy, abundantly blessed new year. 830 00:56:24,840 --> 00:56:27,759 Speaker 1: Hi if you have comments on something he said in 831 00:56:27,760 --> 00:56:32,160 Speaker 1: this episode called eight six six. Hey Jill, if you 832 00:56:32,200 --> 00:56:35,200 Speaker 1: want to add to this conversation, that's eight six six 833 00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:39,040 Speaker 1: nine five four five five. Don't forget to tell us 834 00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:42,160 Speaker 1: your name and the episode you're referring to. You might 835 00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:46,160 Speaker 1: just hear your message on a future episode. Thank you 836 00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:49,920 Speaker 1: for listening to Jill Scott presents Jay dot Ill. The 837 00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:56,960 Speaker 1: podcast Jay dot Ill is a production of I heart Radio. 838 00:56:57,160 --> 00:57:00,320 Speaker 1: For more podcast from I heart Radio is at the 839 00:57:00,400 --> 00:57:04,840 Speaker 1: I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen 840 00:57:04,880 --> 00:57:06,160 Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.