Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big
Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they
Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast, new listeners, old listeners. Wherever
Speaker 1: you are in the world, it is so great to
Speaker 1: have you here. Back for another episode as we, of
Speaker 1: course break down the psychology of our twenties. Let's be
Speaker 1: real for a second. The job market, the job hunt,
Speaker 1: the economic climate, all of the above have gotten so
Speaker 1: tough in recent years, and if you're in your twenties,
Speaker 1: you're probably feeling the pressure and the impact of this
Speaker 1: more than any other age group. It is so much
Speaker 1: more difficult than it was for our parents generation even
Speaker 1: a few decades ago, to find a job that can
Speaker 1: pay our bills but is also fulfilling, or to even
Speaker 1: find entry level opportunities in our chrosen industry, much less
Speaker 1: a stable career path. And I think this experience of
Speaker 1: struggling with unemployment and continuous job hunting, the pressure to
Speaker 1: have it all figured out, the pressure to have some fulfilling,
Speaker 1: rewarding job lined up. Some fulfilling, rewarding career is really
Speaker 1: feeling increasingly impossible in this day and age. So I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about it, and I wanted to help
Speaker 1: you understand the science behind not only why it's so difficult,
Speaker 1: but why there is so much shame and frustration and
Speaker 1: at times even anger and resentment when it comes to
Speaker 1: job hunting in our twenties. I think that this topic
Speaker 1: definitely doesn't get enough of a spotlight, and I'll admit
Speaker 1: I've even fallen into I think a bit of complacency myself.
Speaker 1: I have taken my own circumstances for granted because I
Speaker 1: was really lucky to kind of fall into something I
Speaker 1: loved quite early on. I don't think that is the
Speaker 1: case for everyone. I really think that a more universal
Speaker 1: experience is one of struggling to find your professional place
Speaker 1: in the world early on in your career. And just recently,
Speaker 1: I have had so many friends going through redundancies and
Speaker 1: periods of unemployment, constant rejections, and it's emotionally challenging. I
Speaker 1: can see them really struggling with it. So much of
Speaker 1: our self esteem and our self concept is tied to
Speaker 1: what we do for work. It is tied to how
Speaker 1: we make money. It is tied to our sense of purpose.
Speaker 1: So when that is taken away from us or it's unavailable,
Speaker 1: no matter how hard we try, no matter how many
Speaker 1: job applications we put out, we feel firstly quite aimless,
Speaker 1: but secondly like we have somehow failed in a way
Speaker 1: that so many others have been successful. We think there
Speaker 1: must be something wrong with us. We make assumptions about
Speaker 1: what other people are thinking about us, that we're lazy,
Speaker 1: that we lack discipline, that we aren't skilled, when there
Speaker 1: are so many other explanations for unemployment and struggling with
Speaker 1: job searching, struggling with your career during this decade. So
Speaker 1: today we are going to talk about the psychological impact
Speaker 1: of job hunting, unemployment, setbacks, and rejections in our twenties.
Speaker 1: How we can manage our emotional well being must also
Speaker 1: staying focused and keeping optimistic about opportunities that come our way.
Speaker 1: We're also going to talk about concepts like bridging jobs,
Speaker 1: why there is no shame in doing something that you
Speaker 1: don't necessarily love for a paycheck, why it's okay to
Speaker 1: not have a five year plan, the myth of the
Speaker 1: dream job, and how to find your purpose during a
Speaker 1: very confusing period of life. I strongly believe that when
Speaker 1: we talk openly about these situations, we reduce a lot
Speaker 1: of the invisible shame we're feeling that I think forces
Speaker 1: us to keep things to ourselves when they would become
Speaker 1: so much easier and lighter out in the open. Trust me,
Speaker 1: if you're going through this right now, I really cannot
Speaker 1: express how many people have reached out to me with
Speaker 1: similar situations, how many friends of mine are going through this,
Speaker 1: some of them even in their late twenties, early thirties,
Speaker 1: and even broader than that. How every single trend is
Speaker 1: pointing to this being more difficult for this generation, to
Speaker 1: this being harder. It is not just you, I promise.
Speaker 1: So we're going to slow it down. We're going to
Speaker 1: look at the psychology. We're going to talk all about
Speaker 1: it and hopefully make you feel a little bit better
Speaker 1: about your situation. So all of that are more after
Speaker 1: this shortbreak. We talk about it a lot on the show,
Speaker 1: but there is definitely this unspoken pressure in our twenties
Speaker 1: to know what we are doing with our lives. There
Speaker 1: is an emphasis on having a five year plan, on
Speaker 1: having a dream job, financial independence, job security, that can
Speaker 1: feel really suffocating if that just hasn't been your path
Speaker 1: so far, or perhaps you just don't.
Speaker 2: Want it to be. I think I will continue to
Speaker 2: repeat this for as long as I can. But this decade,
Speaker 2: our twenties is a period of flux, and that is
Speaker 2: both a blessing and a curse. It is this time
Speaker 2: in our life where there is so much available to us,
Speaker 2: but all of our timelines, the timelines of yourself and
Speaker 2: everybody around you, is splintering. For the first like eighteen
Speaker 2: nineteen years of our lives, we were in school. We
Speaker 2: are typically doing the same things in the same environment,
Speaker 2: with the same ultimate goal as everybody around us, which
Speaker 2: is to graduate before we kind of get stuck into
Speaker 2: the real world. It is very structured, It is very uniform,
Speaker 2: very repetitive for each and all of us. When we
Speaker 2: walk across the stage, when we graduate, suddenly, after eighteen
Speaker 2: years of always having somebody tell us what is next,
Speaker 2: what the requirements of moving forward are, we have agency
Speaker 2: and choice and freedom to choose where we want to go,
Speaker 2: who we want to be, and the goalposts kind of disappear.
Speaker 2: Maybe you do end up going to university in the
Speaker 2: goalpost to kind of reinstated, but only for another three
Speaker 2: for maybe five years. At some point, school is going
Speaker 2: to kind of spit you out into the world, and
Speaker 2: you have to kind of figure out a way of
Speaker 2: operating in this new environment, one that you know, I
Speaker 2: do think the education system doesn't really get us prepared for.
Speaker 2: You know, it's not just about grades and assignments anymore.
Speaker 2: You have to put into practice everything that you've learned,
Speaker 2: and there will definitely be a learning curve, and it's
Speaker 2: only natural to be struggling with that. This whole period
Speaker 2: in the field of psychology is known as emerging adulthood,
Speaker 2: and the word emerging there is really important because I
Speaker 2: think it highlights how transitionary this period is. It is
Speaker 2: not the final chapter. It is the first chapter in
Speaker 2: a very long life, in a very long career. Hopefully.
Speaker 2: I think that there is not one thing about our
Speaker 2: career during this decade that is permanent. Those the jobs
Speaker 2: that you're applying for, for example, they could not exist
Speaker 2: in like twenty years. The unpaid internships. Eventually you won't
Speaker 2: have to do them anymore, the terrible bosses. One day
Speaker 2: you will quit that job and you will find something
Speaker 2: more meaningful and purposeful, the job interviews, the confusion. Eventually
Speaker 2: that will go away. Eventually it will become more clear
Speaker 2: to you what you want to do, where you want
Speaker 2: to be, who you want to be. But all of
Speaker 2: those things that we really struggle with, they are to
Speaker 2: be expected when we're kind of first starting out. I
Speaker 2: think the misconception that makes us feel really terrible is
Speaker 2: that this will be like this forever. Right, we are
Speaker 2: always going to feel this lost, we are always going
Speaker 2: to feel this aimless, this purposeless, We're always going to
Speaker 2: be in this state of striving for an opportunity. But
Speaker 2: secondly to that that it is an us problem, not
Speaker 2: a societal one. So when I was researching this episode,
Speaker 2: I came across two articles that were super enlightening when
Speaker 2: it came to this exact point, job hunting and a
Speaker 2: lack of success that many of us are experiencing is
Speaker 2: a societal problem rather than an individual one. So the
Speaker 2: first article was published by the BBC last year, and
Speaker 2: it essentially said, nearly all young workers, so people between
Speaker 2: eighteen and thirty are struggling to cope with economic uncertainty
Speaker 2: but also the instability of the job market. And what
Speaker 2: this article said was that about no ninety one percent
Speaker 2: of us are experiencing or have experienced at least one
Speaker 2: instant of stress around our future career and our future
Speaker 2: job insecurity or security. In the last six months, ninety
Speaker 2: one percent of us in our twenties essentially are feeling
Speaker 2: very much unstable and unsure of what is next. A
Speaker 2: lot of this also came down to three large scale stresses.
Speaker 2: A fewer entry level jobs that has a proven fact.
Speaker 2: There are less opportunities for people who are junior or
Speaker 2: just starting out to get their foot in the door,
Speaker 2: b increasing competition for a smaller pool of opportunities. It's
Speaker 2: not just that there are more people who want a
Speaker 2: smaller amount of jobs, but that those people are more educated,
Speaker 2: more proficient, have done more internships, have more job experience
Speaker 2: than ever before. And see there is this rising cost
Speaker 2: of life living, which means that even if you do
Speaker 2: get one of those coveted entry level jobs, even if
Speaker 2: you do, you know, surpass all those dozens hundreds of others,
Speaker 2: you still might not be able to pay your bills.
Speaker 2: That is one component of why this is so increasingly stressful.
Speaker 2: The second article was from Time magazine and it was
Speaker 2: titled you're not imagining it. Job hunting is getting worse.
Speaker 2: I'm going to leave a link to this article in
Speaker 2: the description, because if this describes your experience, you need
Speaker 2: to read this article. And what they explain is that
Speaker 2: the tightening kind of labor market. Not to make this
Speaker 2: like an economic podcast rather than a psychological one, but
Speaker 2: we'll get to the psychology, I promise. Essentially, the tightening
Speaker 2: labor market has triggered two changes. Firstly, because a lot
Speaker 2: of companies are really scared about a recession, they take
Speaker 2: a lot more time to choose people that they're hiring
Speaker 2: because they want to make sure that they are choosing
Speaker 2: the right person. Something that we may not realize is
Speaker 2: that we obviously know it costs money to employ people,
Speaker 2: but it actually costs also a significant amount of money
Speaker 2: to find the people that we want to employ, and
Speaker 2: so companies like just getting a lot more stingy and
Speaker 2: a lot more cautious. I have heard stories of people
Speaker 2: doing like three or four levels of interviews for entry
Speaker 2: level jobs. My friend Emily, she is applying for jobs
Speaker 2: in the public service in Australia at the moment. She
Speaker 2: went through three interviews for an entry level position and
Speaker 2: she didn't hear anything for two months, and eventually they'd
Speaker 2: offered her the job, but she was like, it's been
Speaker 2: two months. I can't wait for that long. So they're
Speaker 2: kind of like back to the drawing board. Companies are
Speaker 2: just taking longer. They're making you jump through more extravagant
Speaker 2: and extreme hoops. The second element of this is that
Speaker 2: because the job market is becoming more limited, more experienced
Speaker 2: and educated people are now applying for the kind of
Speaker 2: jobs that used to be reserved for individuals like fresh
Speaker 2: out of UNI. You know, there has been mass redundancies
Speaker 2: across tech, across so many other industries. That has meant
Speaker 2: that people with master's degrees and multiple bachelor's degrees who
Speaker 2: have five to ten years of experience, they're getting replaced
Speaker 2: by AI. They're getting let go of and they have
Speaker 2: to start again, along with people like you and I,
Speaker 2: people in their twenties who are starting out for the
Speaker 2: first time. I know that this has taken a very
Speaker 2: pessimistic turn. I am sorry this is not being like
Speaker 2: empowering pump up speech that I wanted for this episode.
Speaker 2: But all of this is just to say, I promise
Speaker 2: it's not just you. It is systematic it is just
Speaker 2: as hard for so many other people out there. I'm
Speaker 2: hoping that that is a comforting statement to hear, right
Speaker 2: that you might be putting a lot of pressure on yourself.
Speaker 2: You might be feeling terrible that it's you, that you
Speaker 2: don't have what it takes, that you're being lazy, that
Speaker 2: no one likes you, that it's a personal thing, when
Speaker 2: actually across the board people are struggling with this. It's
Speaker 2: a really hard time to be new to the job
Speaker 2: market and unemployed. So there are some really tangible, real
Speaker 2: and true psychological and emotional consequences that come with being
Speaker 2: stuck in this limbo jobless period, you know, perhaps taking
Speaker 2: on bridging rolls to make money, not fully satisfied or
Speaker 2: sure when one of these countless interviews or resumes is
Speaker 2: going to hit the desk of the right person. It's
Speaker 2: a waiting game. And I'm sure you know this already,
Speaker 2: But there are a lot of ways that this bleeds
Speaker 2: into our well being, into our state, our mental state essentially,
Speaker 2: and I want to talk about four of the main
Speaker 2: ways that we can see this in our lives and
Speaker 2: how to address it before it gets out of hand. Firstly,
Speaker 2: job hunting, it is a lot of effort, from building
Speaker 2: your resume to finding jobs whose criteria and requirements you match,
Speaker 2: to cover letters, to interviews, to references, sometimes most of
Speaker 2: the time doing this for multiple opportunities at a time
Speaker 2: with little payout that is bound to get exhausting. There
Speaker 2: comes a point where we hit a wall, and it's
Speaker 2: actually called the law of diminishing return. Essentially, what it
Speaker 2: means that at some point, no matter how much we
Speaker 2: put into an activity, say a job hunt, the output
Speaker 2: getting a job doesn't change. At a certain level. There
Speaker 2: is only so much effort we can put in before
Speaker 2: we become disheartened, before we can't give any more, and
Speaker 2: we're not getting the outcome that we want. And this
Speaker 2: can lead to two distinct feelings, resentment and pessimism. Resentment
Speaker 2: firstly because we feel like the system is unfair. We
Speaker 2: feel like we just deserves some reward for what we're
Speaker 2: putting in, how much we want it, how much harder
Speaker 2: we're working than other people who are getting these opportunities
Speaker 2: seemingly easily. Like I know, it's not a good feeling,
Speaker 2: and it's a very shameful feeling, but it is a
Speaker 2: feeling that we do experience seeing other people get the
Speaker 2: opportunities that we wanted and feeling kind of upset about it.
Speaker 2: When things just keep going the same way, when we
Speaker 2: are not hearing back, when we're not getting the response
Speaker 2: that we want, we develop a mental attitude or an
Speaker 2: expectation that it's going to continue much the same. Getting
Speaker 2: into that mental rut, it can be really hard to
Speaker 2: climb out of because your efforts and your hard work
Speaker 2: that is required to keep going are not being reinforced.
Speaker 2: And as humans, we do really thrive off of reinforcement.
Speaker 2: There does come a point where our expectations are going
Speaker 2: to be dashed, our hopes are going to be in
Speaker 2: the dumb star, and it's just going to feel like
Speaker 2: there is absolutely no.
Speaker 1: Hope for us.
Speaker 2: I get it. I totally get it, and I want
Speaker 2: to say that sometimes though it is just a numbers game,
Speaker 2: it is just about responding to the adverts, responding to
Speaker 2: you know, the calls, and forgetting about it. I had
Speaker 2: a friend who says, post and ghost. I think that's
Speaker 2: a great way to put it. She's an actor, and
Speaker 2: I know it's a little bit different, but the other
Speaker 2: day I was asking her about this advert that she
Speaker 2: went for. I was like, Hey, how did that? Like
Speaker 2: phone advert girl? And she was like what are you
Speaker 2: talking about? And I was like, you know you when
Speaker 2: you know you want an audition? She was like, Nah,
Speaker 2: you don't think You're not meant to think about it.
Speaker 2: Don't think about it unless you get a positive response,
Speaker 2: because it keeps your expectations low so that you don't
Speaker 2: keep spiking your expectations when you think that this one's
Speaker 2: going to work out. You think that this one's going
Speaker 2: to be the one, and then it's not, and you
Speaker 2: fall back into that failure mindset. You continue to be
Speaker 2: feel like you are being negatively punished for your efforts.
Speaker 2: You feel like there is no hope. The second reason
Speaker 2: job hunting is so hard comes down to the constant rejection.
Speaker 2: Maybe you are lucky enough to get the first job
Speaker 2: you apply for, but that is the exception, not the rule.
Speaker 2: Most of us will receive about six to ten rejections
Speaker 2: before we get a job offer. According to Forbes, rejection
Speaker 2: is such a heavy emotion, It is such a primal
Speaker 2: state because we are hardwired to avoid it at all costs.
Speaker 2: Rejection on a very basic level signifies a lack of
Speaker 2: approval from those whose opinion we value, and when that
Speaker 2: is repeated, we begin to internalize a number of secondary
Speaker 2: assumptions about ourselves. That we are not good enough, that
Speaker 2: we are not as intelligent as we thought, we're not capable,
Speaker 2: that we are failures, and that hurts our ego. Our
Speaker 2: ego is related to our confidence. When our confidence is low,
Speaker 2: that can really interfere with what jobs we apply for,
Speaker 2: how secure we come across in interviews, because we begin
Speaker 2: to believe that these rejections are in some ways defining us,
Speaker 2: that somehow these other people must know that we're getting desperate,
Speaker 2: they must know that all these other companies rejected us,
Speaker 2: and that kind of begins to overwhelm what we do
Speaker 2: actually bring to the table, our wonderful qualities, our wonderful assets.
Speaker 2: I think it's even worse when you just don't get
Speaker 2: any feedback at all, You don't receive anything. Honestly, the
Speaker 2: places that just ghost you are awful, especially when you
Speaker 2: are young, and especially like when they just don't have
Speaker 2: the empathy to remember what it was like to be
Speaker 2: in your position when you could really benefit from the feedback,
Speaker 2: You could benefit from having some closure and not still
Speaker 2: thinking about that job in two months not still thinking
Speaker 2: you had a chance. Two things to counteract the rejection treadmill,
Speaker 2: that it sometimes feels like we'ron firstly after each disappointment,
Speaker 2: do something kind for yourself. So there is this brilliant
Speaker 2: article published by Psychology Today that I'll also link in
Speaker 2: the description. And this doctor, her name is doctor Genie Schneider.
Speaker 2: She said something so perfect about this. Looking for a
Speaker 2: job can feel like a punishing experience. We look at
Speaker 2: the prize that is getting the job as the only
Speaker 2: reward for all the work. Instead, you need to provide
Speaker 2: ample rewards for all your job hunting efforts. Apply for
Speaker 2: the job. Then give yourself a break to have fun.
Speaker 2: Go through like your fourth interview, take a friend to dinner,
Speaker 2: go and like go for a walk, get out of
Speaker 2: your head, tell yourself you will you know, reward yourself
Speaker 2: with like a small after preparing for a lengthy interview,
Speaker 2: after finishing that ruling, cover letter or case study. I
Speaker 2: think rewarding yourself for the effort, not the outcome, helps
Speaker 2: you maintain that motivation and that momentum that you really need.
Speaker 2: It's also valuable to remember that it's not always about you.
Speaker 2: Of course, we are at the center of our own universe.
Speaker 2: That's how it is. We are the only person who
Speaker 2: we truly can understand, and even then we don't really
Speaker 2: understand ourselves fully. But it's our reality that we are
Speaker 2: most aware of, and so we tend to think every
Speaker 2: failure or rejection must relate back to something that was
Speaker 2: wrong with us, something that we were lacking, that we
Speaker 2: did incorrectly. Instead, I want you to consider this concept
Speaker 2: or this kind of like idea I came across called
Speaker 2: the mustard effect. So the mustard effect came from the
Speaker 2: story of a really talent an actor who went to
Speaker 2: meet with the director for a new movie. He was
Speaker 2: perfect for the role. He was like the leading man
Speaker 2: of the day, super attractive, talented, perfect like resume. But
Speaker 2: right as he got to the restaurant, the director he
Speaker 2: was meeting spilled mustard on his favorite shirt and he
Speaker 2: was so frustrated. He was so distracted that he passed
Speaker 2: on the actor. He didn't offer him the movie. You
Speaker 2: can be the most amazing candidate, and sometimes the recruiter
Speaker 2: is just in a bad mood. There is just someone
Speaker 2: had a bit more experienced than you and something really
Speaker 2: niche that they need somebody spills mustard, so try not
Speaker 2: to take it too personally. Sometimes it's not even like
Speaker 2: the disappointment and the exhaustion of the constant efforts and
Speaker 2: the letdowns. It's the simple fact that not having a
Speaker 2: job means we can't do certain things that truly bring
Speaker 2: us joy and that fill our cup because we simply
Speaker 2: don't have the money for them. When you are watching
Speaker 2: all of your friends buy new clothes, go out for dinner,
Speaker 2: book vacations, that can't be a very nice feeling, as
Speaker 2: much as we try and suppress it, And me is
Speaker 2: an especially loud emotion, So I don't blame you. It's
Speaker 2: hard to see everybody else living perhaps a life of
Speaker 2: ease while you're still struggling. You know, this day and age,
Speaker 2: it is the age of social comparison. Of course we
Speaker 2: are going to compare paychecks. Of course we are going
Speaker 2: to compare career progression, job titles or lack thereof, because
Speaker 2: all of those things serve as proxies for what we
Speaker 2: see as progress. Our jobs also bring a sense of
Speaker 2: purpose in productivity, like we can say we're doing something
Speaker 2: that our degrees were worth something. Those internships, those extracurriculars,
Speaker 2: those you know, stupid jobs that we didn't want to do.
Speaker 2: It was all worth it because we have something to
Speaker 2: do with our day. When we don't have that, there
Speaker 2: is definitely a level of shame and stigma. I think
Speaker 2: we implicitly feel we're adults. This is what we should
Speaker 2: be doing, this is what we were always taught we
Speaker 2: should be doing. We should have a job. That's how
Speaker 2: we stay useful in society, especially in a society where
Speaker 2: it's our output that really counts. So I read this
Speaker 2: story about how in Japan, businessmen will actually get dressed
Speaker 2: up in the morning in their suits, in their ties.
Speaker 2: They'll take the train to the city, they'll leave their apartments,
Speaker 2: and they'll just sit in the park all day until
Speaker 2: they return home because they don't have jobs. And it's
Speaker 2: not that they're being productive with that time. It's that
Speaker 2: the shame of not having a job, the shame of
Speaker 2: being unemployed, causes them to want to keep up the
Speaker 2: facade for those around them. And I think that's not
Speaker 2: too dissimilar to what you may be experiencing a sense
Speaker 2: that you are lazy or that you're going to be judged. Obviously,
Speaker 2: you may not be going as far as to put
Speaker 2: on a business suit and go and sit in the
Speaker 2: park all day. But there is perhaps a tendency to
Speaker 2: conceal things, a tendency to perhaps I don't know, not
Speaker 2: want to reveal to your friends or your family that
Speaker 2: you are struggling, how hard it has been, how many
Speaker 2: rejections you have gotten, how lost you feel. I also
Speaker 2: heard this from a lot of friends of mine who
Speaker 2: are currently on the job hunt, looking for a cool
Speaker 2: thing to do, that there is this tension, this kind
Speaker 2: of pool between wanting to simply get a job, not
Speaker 2: wanting to get left behind, wanting to make some money,
Speaker 2: but also wanting to be happy in what you're doing
Speaker 2: and not just settle for the first job that comes
Speaker 2: your way. It feels like a really significant choice, and
Speaker 2: that is the confusion that also comes along with this.
Speaker 2: We spend ages trying to find a job, only to
Speaker 2: have doubts about what might be right for us. I
Speaker 2: think job hunting is hard enough, but when you add
Speaker 2: purpose and mission and ambition into the picture, it gets
Speaker 2: even more complicated. So we're going to take a short break,
Speaker 2: but when we come back, we're going to kind of
Speaker 2: discuss how we can discover purpose whilst also looking for
Speaker 2: that paycheck, and also how you can lessen the pressure
Speaker 2: or the mental load of job hunting and the shame
Speaker 2: when it isn't going your way. All of that and
Speaker 2: more after this short break. One of my favorite like
Speaker 2: tumbler Instagram, that kind of genre of posts that I've
Speaker 2: ever seen, which was quite popular back in the day
Speaker 2: but still feels very noteworthy, is this post that recounts
Speaker 2: when famous actors and public figures first got their big break. Oprah,
Speaker 2: for example, got fired from her first reporting job at
Speaker 2: twenty three. Harrison Ford, he was a carpenter at thirty.
Speaker 2: Morgan Freeman, he wasn't in like a major movie until
Speaker 2: he was fifty two. I'm sure that a lot of
Speaker 2: us have seen this post, but I think that every
Speaker 2: time I see it, it is such a simple reminder
Speaker 2: that the stakes feel really high right now. They feel
Speaker 2: really significant in our twenties to get it right. But
Speaker 2: there are so many paths to your dream destination and
Speaker 2: so many parts of the journey that you just cannot
Speaker 2: foresee in the moment that you are in right now.
Speaker 2: I think uncertainty is part of the twenty something package.
Speaker 2: It's part of the deal. Not knowing what comes next,
Speaker 2: feeling like you have these big dreams and not knowing
Speaker 2: what to do with them, feeling like there are other
Speaker 2: dreams you have to put on hold out of necessity.
Speaker 2: That is all kind of part of what this decade promises.
Speaker 2: So firstly, I want you to take the press sure
Speaker 2: off a little bit. You don't need to be searching
Speaker 2: for or working your dream job right now to be happy.
Speaker 2: In fact, I personally don't think that the dream job
Speaker 2: even exists. There is so much hype around this idea
Speaker 2: that if you love what you do, you never work
Speaker 2: a day in your life. I think that neglects the
Speaker 2: role of practicality just needing something to give you a paycheck,
Speaker 2: having those intermission periods where you are in transition, like
Speaker 2: after graduation, or when you're making a career jump, or
Speaker 2: after getting fired, It is okay to be working casual
Speaker 2: jobs in the meantime. It is okay to not necessarily
Speaker 2: know what comes next. I think this idea of the
Speaker 2: dream job makes a lot of us feel like if
Speaker 2: we're not totally sold and in love with what we
Speaker 2: are doing as a career, we are bound to be miserable.
Speaker 2: But it doesn't consider that life is more than work,
Speaker 2: and that sometimes you don't really know what you want
Speaker 2: to do until much later in life when you have
Speaker 2: had experience. And maybe that is what this time is
Speaker 2: right now. It is about experience. It is about applying
Speaker 2: for jobs you never saw yourself doing and maybe doing
Speaker 2: them for a couple of months, doing them for a year,
Speaker 2: and just seeing where it takes you. A perspective that
Speaker 2: I kind of love. As an alternative to the dream
Speaker 2: job concept is this Japanese idea of ikigai, so that
Speaker 2: kind of roughly translates to reason for being. I was
Speaker 2: introduced to this concept through a book that was written
Speaker 2: about it a couple of years ago by these two authors.
Speaker 2: And in the process of writing this book, they went
Speaker 2: to this small town in the Okinawa district in Japan,
Speaker 2: and it's what is known as a blue zone, So
Speaker 2: there are a bunch of blue zones around the world.
Speaker 2: These are essentially locations where the population in those areas
Speaker 2: are some of the happiest and some of the healthiest
Speaker 2: and who live the longest. And what they found was
Speaker 2: that amongst all these kind of like elderly Japanese people,
Speaker 2: all of them had a sense of ika guy. They
Speaker 2: had a sense of being. Instead of looking for one
Speaker 2: thing that is going to light your fire, instead of
Speaker 2: looking for a job that just pays you a lot
Speaker 2: of money, or trying exorbitantly hard to just find the
Speaker 2: one thing that you absolutely love doing and nothing else
Speaker 2: at all, focus on asking yourself for specific questions. What
Speaker 2: do you actually like doing, what do you actually enjoy,
Speaker 2: what are you good at doing, What do you receive
Speaker 2: praise for, What do people tell you that you have
Speaker 2: a special knack for. What does the world actually need?
Speaker 2: And what can you get paid for? So, if we
Speaker 2: have like the example of being a psychologist, that might
Speaker 2: be your dream job right now, It's probably going to
Speaker 2: take like quite a few years of study to get there,
Speaker 2: probably a lot of probably a lot of setbacks in
Speaker 2: the interim. You still need to make money. You still
Speaker 2: want to be doing something, So think about how you
Speaker 2: can fulfill your ecer guy in other ways. I'm guessing
Speaker 2: if you want to be a psychologist, you're probably really
Speaker 2: good at talking to people. You enjoy talking to people.
Speaker 2: They connect with you, they open up, it feels fulfilling.
Speaker 2: I think the world needs more people who can hold
Speaker 2: empathy and space for others. But right now, you can't
Speaker 2: get paid for it in the specific way that you
Speaker 2: would like. But if you were a grocery store clerk
Speaker 2: or a disability support worker, if you worked in customer service,
Speaker 2: you can still utilize your unique abilities and gain those
Speaker 2: vital skills, even if it's not your dream destination. You know, personally,
Speaker 2: before I did this full time, you know, a lot
Speaker 2: of people might assume this is my dream job. I
Speaker 2: didn't even know this existed three years ago, and before I,
Speaker 2: you know, stumbled into podcasting. I've spoken about how I
Speaker 2: worked in consulting, and especially I did health consulting and
Speaker 2: big mental health programs for the government was something that
Speaker 2: I really focused on. It was not my dream job,
Speaker 2: but besides that, there was so many things that I
Speaker 2: took from it that have made my current career so
Speaker 2: much more fruitful. Obviously I spoke a lot about mental
Speaker 2: health during that time, but it also made me really
Speaker 2: proficient in academic research. It made me really proficient in
Speaker 2: time management, in science communication, in writing applications for grants
Speaker 2: and things like that, and I'm so grateful for that. Now,
Speaker 2: I think I firmly believe that our twenties are not
Speaker 2: our time to be perfect, especially when it comes to
Speaker 2: our careers and our professional lives, it's a time for experimentation.
Speaker 2: It's a time for discovery. Your purpose might not be
Speaker 2: entirely clear to you right now, but that is what
Speaker 2: this period is for. It's getting to see what's out there,
Speaker 2: doing jobs that might not be high on your list
Speaker 2: of things that you thought you would like doing, applying
Speaker 2: for those random positions that you've never considered, and just
Speaker 2: seeing what happens. I know that it's very easy to
Speaker 2: compare to people who seemingly have it all, who are
Speaker 2: already looking like they're uber successful, but that is again
Speaker 2: the exception, not the rule. Another component of the job
Speaker 2: hunt of an unemployment in our twenties is taking on
Speaker 2: roles where you are just going to have to swallow
Speaker 2: the toad. You are going to have to start from
Speaker 2: the bottom and maybe do things that you don't necessarily
Speaker 2: want to do, but it can lead you to something bigger.
Speaker 2: When you look at those people you might see online
Speaker 2: who you think, oh my god, they have it all together.
Speaker 2: What did they do differently? What do they do that
Speaker 2: I didn't do, you have to remember that they might
Speaker 2: just be a few steps ahead of you, or they
Speaker 2: may have had networks, they may have had shortcuts, or
Speaker 2: they may have done these tedious, unfulfilling job that you're
Speaker 2: doing now that are actually really valuable because they give
Speaker 2: you that work ethic that doesn't disappear the older you get,
Speaker 2: and they give you those connections, they give you that experience.
Speaker 2: You just have to start somewhere, even if it's not
Speaker 2: where you imagined yourself starting. Some final tips for managing
Speaker 2: both the stress and the practicality of job hunting in
Speaker 2: our twenties. Firstly, find someone else who is going through
Speaker 2: the same thing and meet up with them to job hunt,
Speaker 2: to write cover letters, to write applications together. Treat the
Speaker 2: job hunt like a job, like there is structure, like
Speaker 2: there are things and KPIs and tasks that you need
Speaker 2: to tick off. So you don't feel like this is
Speaker 2: a waste of time, so you don't feel like this
Speaker 2: is just an endless cycle of not knowing of effort
Speaker 2: and setbacks. But alongside that, when you do it with
Speaker 2: somebody else, you have that support, kind of have somebody
Speaker 2: almost like a colleague or a coworker, a coworker and
Speaker 2: your job hunt to complain to and to kind of
Speaker 2: just have a whine too about how rough it is,
Speaker 2: and to know that they experiencing they are experiencing the
Speaker 2: same thing. It also just obviously helps combat loneliness of
Speaker 2: unemployment as well, which is a big thing. Secondly, don't
Speaker 2: be afraid to tell people that you are looking for work.
Speaker 2: Not only does this train us out of the feeling
Speaker 2: of shame, which is important. There is no shame in
Speaker 2: just getting started and trying to find what's right for you.
Speaker 2: But I think when we are vulnerable about something that
Speaker 2: we don't like to speak about, people feel a natural
Speaker 2: inclination to help, and there is a natural like eliciting
Speaker 2: of empathy. They will, I think, connect you with new people.
Speaker 2: They will connect you with places that are hiring, with
Speaker 2: friends that they know in the endie with opportunities that
Speaker 2: they've heard of. People want to be in your corner.
Speaker 2: Those empathy centers in our brain start lighting up when
Speaker 2: we see somebody else who is not only struggling, but
Speaker 2: as being open and sensitive about that struggle. Finally, I
Speaker 2: want you to know that it will happen, even if
Speaker 2: it is taking time, even if you're going slower than
Speaker 2: you imagined, even if you are not where you thought
Speaker 2: you'd be. No one wakes up a success. So many
Speaker 2: success stories start with shitty jobs, start with being broke,
Speaker 2: start with not having the perfect job, or any job
Speaker 2: at all. There are so many steps in between where
Speaker 2: you are now and where you want to be in
Speaker 2: the future. And I don't know, as someone who went
Speaker 2: through periods of unemployment and who've worked terrible jobs and
Speaker 2: who got rejected from so many jobs and so many internships,
Speaker 2: there will come a point where you do get to
Speaker 2: look back and be like, you get to tell the
Speaker 2: story in hindsight, and it feels kind of magical that
Speaker 2: you got to where you are, and you do feel
Speaker 2: in some ways grateful for the lessons that you learn
Speaker 2: and the fact that you didn't just come to you easily,
Speaker 2: that you actually had to try and work hard and
Speaker 2: test yourself. Every small piece, every small thing that you
Speaker 2: are doing, every small action, is contributing to the process.
Speaker 2: It's contributing to you getting a job, finding your career path,
Speaker 2: figuring out what you want to do. But right now
Speaker 2: it doesn't have to be perfect. You are doing enough,
Speaker 2: You are doing the best you can, and I'm just
Speaker 2: sending a lot of love. I'm sending a lot of
Speaker 2: encouragement and support your way, because I know it is
Speaker 2: tough when everyone around you seems to have it together,
Speaker 2: when you're broke, when you don't have the money for
Speaker 2: the opportunities that you would like to be pursuing, when
Speaker 2: it feels like you waste it all your time and
Speaker 2: uni in college and nobody wants you. It's temporary. Something
Speaker 2: will come your way, I am sure of it. So
Speaker 2: I really hope that this episode has been of some
Speaker 2: solace to you, or has at least provided you with
Speaker 2: some new information, something else to consider, some tips, some tricks,
Speaker 2: some comfort. As always, if there is somebody that you
Speaker 2: know in your life who is also job hunting, firstly,
Speaker 2: maybe hit them up and start applying for some jobs together.
Speaker 2: It's a great idea. Otherwise, share this episode with them.
Speaker 2: Maybe they'll get something out of it as well. Make
Speaker 2: sure that you are following along. I post so many
Speaker 2: different episodes, so many different concepts, ideas, so many different
Speaker 2: aspects of our twenties, and I'm always looking for episode suggestions,
Speaker 2: So feel free to dm me at that psychology podcast
Speaker 2: with your thoughts, your feelings, your questions, your qualms, whatever
Speaker 2: it is. I would love to hear from you and
Speaker 2: as always, until we see you next week, Stay safe,
Speaker 2: stay kind, be gentle with yourself, and we will talk
Speaker 2: very soon. One