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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast

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Speaker 1: firm Elvis Presents Morning Show. That's write the podcast that

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Speaker 1: we talked about this morning on the Big Show. This

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Speaker 1: is the little show or is this a little big show?

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Speaker 1: I don't know what's the little big show? The melt?

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Speaker 1: This is a little show that could this is this

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Speaker 1: is a makeup on Yeah, I got tons of makeup

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Speaker 1: on right now because we shut up over there because

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Speaker 1: we're getting ready to do After Elvis. So after we

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Speaker 1: do this, we shoot After Elvis, which is on Facebook.

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Speaker 1: Watch right, that's food. This is audio. I'm scary by

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Speaker 1: the way this. You are Sam over here, and David

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Speaker 1: Brodie's over there. Good morning, and hello and Nate. You

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Speaker 1: don't need makeup, Daniel, You're very kind. I'm not even kidding.

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Speaker 1: Don't don't give me that pent. I think women without

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Speaker 1: makeup look way better than I'll tell you. On the weekend,

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Speaker 1: all I wear is a little tinted moisturizer and some

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Speaker 1: myscare And that's how I'm running around all weekend. That's

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Speaker 1: really all like. But why do you not believe us

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Speaker 1: when we say we like you without makeup? I know,

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Speaker 1: but for camera, I don't care about camera. I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about inforcement. Also, there's two things that I usually get

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Speaker 1: when I say that. Number One, um, you say that

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Speaker 1: there's four women never see me without makeup, so when

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Speaker 1: you see me with little makeup, you think that's no makeup.

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Speaker 1: And Two, I wear makeup for me. I don't wear

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Speaker 1: makeup to appeal to you for everybody. Yeah, I believe me.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't wear any if I could, I would, I wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: I would wear this is how I would dress every day.

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Speaker 1: And I go to brunch with my girlfriend on a

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Speaker 1: Sunday morning, She'll be like, taking like an hour and

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Speaker 1: a half to get ready, and I'm like, what taking

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Speaker 1: on makeup? I'm like, the less makeup, the better. You

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Speaker 1: don't look any better than the best you look is

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Speaker 1: when you're waking up in the morning with branch on

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Speaker 1: the Sunday to me, is honestly putting on maybe ms Garam,

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Speaker 1: maybe a baseball hat, sweatpants and you know, and a

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Speaker 1: little sweatshirt and let's go all my girlfriend's phone call

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Speaker 1: that please. I just don't get it. I think I

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Speaker 1: don't know. Are you doing it for for other people?

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Speaker 1: You're doing it for women? Who are you trying to impress.

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Speaker 1: For me, it really depends on the day. Like I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to sit here and be like I just

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Speaker 1: wear it for me, No, but whom I do wear

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Speaker 1: it for four points from day to day. But Nate

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Speaker 1: in particular wouldn't understand because you have this weird genetic

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Speaker 1: something where you don't have dark circles under your eyes

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Speaker 1: and you really don't have lines or bags. So if

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Speaker 1: you were a woman, you'd be that woman that every

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Speaker 1: other woman hates. And I have dark circles on our eyes. Well,

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Speaker 1: you have a little more than Nathan. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: circles eyes. I don't know. But you have more lines

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Speaker 1: than Nate doesn't. I don't even we're saying that Nate

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Speaker 1: for some reason doesn't have any most people have them.

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Speaker 1: That's the worst I I got him. She's got got him.

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Speaker 1: So maybe he should wear makeup with draws lines onto

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Speaker 1: his face. Maybe he looks like you don't. Here's a secret.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I do wear makeup grocery store I have. I

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Speaker 1: have friends who are getting filler injections and you know,

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Speaker 1: and like a botox now, and they're in their twenties.

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Speaker 1: I am forty five and I haven't had that done yet.

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Speaker 1: I'm not saying I wouldn't if I felt I needed it,

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Speaker 1: But I'm not there yet. But I don't understand. Like

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Speaker 1: I know people as angle it's for prevention, but what

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Speaker 1: are you preventing when you don't have anything yet? Like

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Speaker 1: I don't get work. You don't see a difference. Also,

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Speaker 1: like my cousin made fill us at a young age

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Speaker 1: and we've never seen her gets you're trying to say

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Speaker 1: that once because now once your wrinkles set in, if

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Speaker 1: you get on people noticing something you don't want very

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Speaker 1: Mantlow effect, where he waited until he was in his

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Speaker 1: what sixties to get something done, and all of a

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Speaker 1: sudden you're like, oh my god, is that guy going

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Speaker 1: eat million? I need to go get something done. There's

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Speaker 1: at exercise heary, Why don't you do something the work

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Speaker 1: that we should have on our bodies ready, Like I'm

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Speaker 1: getting this done when I hit forty, I'm getting what

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Speaker 1: do they call it a necklift or facelif facelift, that's

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Speaker 1: a neckliftb yeah, the gobble gobble, because I don't have

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Speaker 1: much of a gobble gobble now, but looking at my dad,

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Speaker 1: I know about fifteen years it's gonna be epic. So

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you know what, I'll just get it done

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Speaker 1: now preventatively, like fifteen years. People will be like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, it's great. If I can get anything done,

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Speaker 1: it would be my underwriyed. Like supposedly, if you get

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Speaker 1: a little filler in there, it kind of fills in

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Speaker 1: the little wrinklies. I like to get rid of my

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Speaker 1: crow's feet. Is that why you walk that way? Right

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Speaker 1: there and right there in between? That's not a crow.

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Speaker 1: For the record, I don't love this topic. Just feel

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Speaker 1: like yourself. We're going around saying things we need to

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Speaker 1: change about ourselves. Everybody has something. You're the one we

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Speaker 1: vote for. The other person ever, all that, I don't

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Speaker 1: think pretty should get anything done. He looks good the

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Speaker 1: way he is, specially especially especially when he puts his

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Speaker 1: glasses on. When his glasses on, no, I love them.

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Speaker 1: You look cute with your glasses. Thanks. I don't wear

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Speaker 1: my glasses enough, because you want to know why. Because

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Speaker 1: they're those bifocal ones. So I don't really need them

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Speaker 1: with the chain. You don't really need them for anything

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Speaker 1: but reading right now. But she gave me a tiny

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Speaker 1: bit for distance. But I don't need it, so I

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Speaker 1: it's it hurts kind of when I'm when I'm looking

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Speaker 1: at elvis and wearing them, so I have to take

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Speaker 1: them off, put them on, take them off, put them on.

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Speaker 1: It's so annoying. I forget to even put them on now,

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Speaker 1: just like those those really people wear them on the

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Speaker 1: tip of their nose and then look over their glasses

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Speaker 1: a monocle when you show your kids, like when you're

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Speaker 1: giving your kids taile at all, say they have a fever,

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Speaker 1: I have to put them on because I'll give them

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Speaker 1: the wrong dose because I can't read the bottle. It's

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Speaker 1: oh my god, you don't wear glasses that necessarily that

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Speaker 1: your vision becomes worse because your eyes start depending on them.

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Speaker 1: And then said, no, but I think so, and if

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Speaker 1: you make faces it'll stay that way. That too, Okay.

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Speaker 1: By the way, Danielle, if that time you invited me

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Speaker 1: to your hotel room during the snows, if i'd come

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Speaker 1: over wearing my glasses, that is actually my kryptonite. So

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Speaker 1: my girlfriend wears glasses, but she doesn't wear them all

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Speaker 1: the time. So when she does wear what's going on,

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Speaker 1: Oh my god? She does that and then she because

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Speaker 1: she dresses up for the office. It's not around here

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Speaker 1: where we wish it off the office. But yeah, when

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Speaker 1: she comes home and she's got her hair in a

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Speaker 1: bun with the glasses on, yeah, oh my god, that's

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Speaker 1: my krypton. I want to get my glasses changed from

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Speaker 1: the bifocals to just the just the reading, so that

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Speaker 1: I don't know just by reading glasses I should I

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Speaker 1: can't get those at cvs. Are people moving back to

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Speaker 1: glasses from contacts because contacts were so big for so long?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I have I think glasses are Yeah,

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Speaker 1: people glasses have increased. Yeah. I wanted a new pair

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Speaker 1: just for funzies, Like I'm the same exact prescription. I

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Speaker 1: was with my old ones and they said no, because

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Speaker 1: I've it's been too long since I visited. I told him, no,

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Speaker 1: it hasn't changed. I can use it, and they said, no,

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Speaker 1: you have to commit. I think they just want money

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Speaker 1: from me. Yeah, but they do have to check your eyes.

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Speaker 1: I can't believe the way the world has changed. He

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Speaker 1: wants glasses for funzies. When I was in school, the

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Speaker 1: kids with glasses got punched. Yeah, I mean I didn't

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Speaker 1: do the punch. Pay four eyes cold bottle glasses. Glasses

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Speaker 1: are a fun accessory graduation. And then we went to

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Speaker 1: that period where people wearing frames with no lenses just

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Speaker 1: walk around frames. Yeah. Yeah, Elvish Elic came in with

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Speaker 1: like a fashionable pair just once. I'm like, well, you're

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Speaker 1: wearing glasses, you need them. He was, No, there's no

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Speaker 1: prescription on this or anything. It's just clear. It's funny.

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Speaker 1: There is, you know, it's it's basically a disability, right,

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Speaker 1: not being able to see. So the comedian Jim Gaffick,

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Speaker 1: and he's got this bit about you don't go up

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Speaker 1: to a handicapped person to say, can I sit your

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Speaker 1: wheelchair for a second. You know, it's not fun to

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Speaker 1: be in a wheel fair. I got this prescription wheelchair.

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Speaker 1: It's a Chrysler. It's the funziest Yeah, funzies. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: my word. I like hearing aid pretend hearing. In the nineties,

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Speaker 1: people were going through people were walking around with canes

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Speaker 1: like that was like it was a big wait wait, wait,

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Speaker 1: wait wait. I don't know about this rappers, but they

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Speaker 1: were very intricate, like they were really fancy canes. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and they were walking around like, hey, what's up son?

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Speaker 1: People would walk with a cane. I'm talking about year

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Speaker 1: old kre just HARKing back to our Brooklyn Boys podcast,

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Speaker 1: who was walking around saying, what's up son? Those people?

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Speaker 1: But I'm telling you urban It was an urban thing,

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Speaker 1: was Urban Voice specifically. But I'm not just I'm not no,

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about I'm talking about everyone, whites and blacks

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Speaker 1: and Hispanics alike. I'm told it was a city thing

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Speaker 1: like Chicago, Detroit, New York, Miami. Anything with a cosmopolitan city.

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Speaker 1: Does it not happen in Erie, Pennsylvania, If that's what

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Speaker 1: you're asking. He didn't have Also, no Asians, pimps and hose. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they used to walk around with kanes and then walk

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Speaker 1: around with canes and bring him to school and everything.

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Speaker 1: My high school had a whole problem. They had an

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Speaker 1: outlaw came. Really you had to prove that you needed one. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my school had a tamagotchi problem. Remember those tamagotchis. Like

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Speaker 1: people would bring them to school and not concentrate on

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Speaker 1: their what they were doing those virtual pants, and they

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Speaker 1: got taken away from everybody. Not that, but I mean,

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Speaker 1: you're not gonna use something like that mass disrespect to

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Speaker 1: like people who actually need I feel the same way

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Speaker 1: with glasses. What are we gonna start feeling funzies glasses

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Speaker 1: should be offensive? Okay, what about crutches? I think it's

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Speaker 1: funzies crutches. Um When you would take someone else's culture

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Speaker 1: appropriate culture appropriate, I think your culturally appropriating glasses. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna wear glasses for funzies. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go buy a panel. Think Stevie Wonder would find that funny.

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Speaker 1: You wanted to see you doing it, but still, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, this is wait scary. For the record, I

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Speaker 1: went with you to get our eyes checked, and I

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Speaker 1: know for a fact you need glasses to read a slightly. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but you refused to wear them, and you got a

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Speaker 1: really cute pair when we were there. Yeah, no idea.

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Speaker 1: And you have you ever put them on your face

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Speaker 1: for funzies? Hobout Funzies? Walker, I'm gonna buy you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna get a retainer for funzies. Gonna walk around

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Speaker 1: with headgear strapped in my head. It upsets me when

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Speaker 1: people go to like these amusement parks and they pretend

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Speaker 1: that they're in a wheelchair and they pretend whatever, so

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Speaker 1: that they can get to the front of the line

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Speaker 1: because they want to have more fun to not invite

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Speaker 1: my friend I was diabetic all the time. He knew

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Speaker 1: why you get you can get ahead and cut the

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Speaker 1: line with diabetes because he the length of the line,

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Speaker 1: like he might need to pay attention to his food

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Speaker 1: and drink more often. He had one of the insulin packs,

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Speaker 1: so he would get to go right to the front

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Speaker 1: of the line. Are just I'm just not being funny,

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Speaker 1: just curious. Couldn't he bring with him the appropriate food

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Speaker 1: and stuff he needed. I don't know that. They don't

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Speaker 1: usually let you bring food in Okay, So that whole

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Speaker 1: time I was a child, I wasn't asthmatic, had allergies,

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Speaker 1: heart condition. I couldn't cut the line. I didn't ask

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Speaker 1: for it. You don't have crow's feet, though, so even

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Speaker 1: I'm not scary, Thank God for that. You should have

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Speaker 1: been able to cut the line, have taken advantag Why

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Speaker 1: did that whole thing start like in the nineties. It

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Speaker 1: had to have. Yeah, because I was a teenager, not

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Speaker 1: a time the urban people had canes. Can I cut

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Speaker 1: the line? I'm a man, a man? Can I cut

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Speaker 1: through mine? Where do you put your cane on a

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Speaker 1: rollers fun crutches. Why don't we do for Thursday for funzies,

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Speaker 1: let's wear neck prices. That's fan fantastic casteah funzies, iron lung.

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Speaker 1: I think that'd be great. I want one of those

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Speaker 1: arm casts that where the metal rod goes from your

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Speaker 1: elbow to your shoulder to keep it in place. I've

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Speaker 1: always wanted a cast. I could I try one on?

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Speaker 1: If anyone yes, I love this. We could start new

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Speaker 1: fashion trends right here. Make sure you tweet all of

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Speaker 1: us and what you've worn for funzies. What debilitating to

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Speaker 1: never have dialysis for funzies? Give us a call an

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Speaker 1: Amesis Basin just gonna have that. Give yourself a cathea

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Speaker 1: the funzies. Yeah, stick that right up here, aure, just

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Speaker 1: to see how it feels for fun. That's no fun man.

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Speaker 1: Do you ever have a catheterization? Yes? What is heard

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Speaker 1: about it? But I don't know. I was cube. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was after surgery, so I was unconscious when it

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Speaker 1: went in. But I can assure you I wish I

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Speaker 1: was unconscious when it was coming back out. You woke

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Speaker 1: up and I woke like three days later. They go okay,

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Speaker 1: it's time to take it out. For so long, Well,

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Speaker 1: they don't want you. You You can't get out of bed

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Speaker 1: sometimes you after surgery, so you just pee that way

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Speaker 1: about like google Catha. Don't just words to cathin. Google it.

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Speaker 1: Google it. How do you spell it a google it?

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Speaker 1: It sounds horrible. It's not fun. Okay, pull that thing out.

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Speaker 1: Do you see the commercials like during cable news, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they call it. I used to cath and it was painful.

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Speaker 1: Now it's not pay Do they go up your eureth

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Speaker 1: for Franklin? Okay, Franklin do they? Yeah? Oh, now I

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Speaker 1: know what it is. I can just imagine as supposed

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Speaker 1: to you imagine having a baby out of that, because

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Speaker 1: because you think about it, sketch on the weekend, ten

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Speaker 1: centimeters dilated an hour is ready to go that in

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Speaker 1: your That was that was the Tulips the first male pregnancy. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: by the way, and they said that the baby is

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Speaker 1: born and the guy scheduled c section, and then at

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Speaker 1: the press conference they're like, well, it turns out there's

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Speaker 1: a complication has to be born of the urethra and

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Speaker 1: the guy who's pregnant's face, by the way, an hour

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Speaker 1: and a half with three good sketches on the show.

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Speaker 1: Most of them were terrible. Really, Black Jeopardy was great,

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Speaker 1: it was good, but the Fireman sketch that was terrible.

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Speaker 1: And the and the singing complaints to the waiter at

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Speaker 1: the end, oh so much. It was at the end,

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Speaker 1: but the way they unveiled Cardi B's pregnancy by we knew,

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Speaker 1: but it was very cool how they did incredible. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: She coasted with yeah, I didn't want to turn the

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Speaker 1: fifteen minute morning show