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Speaker 1: There Are No Girls on the Internet, as a production

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Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and Unbossed Creative. I'm Bridget Toad and this

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Speaker 1: is there Are No Girls on the Internet. Boy, has

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Speaker 1: it been a big week for men who like to

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Speaker 1: control women? Kiki Palmer's boyfriend took to Twitter to shame

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Speaker 1: the outfit that she wore at an Usher concert, and

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Speaker 1: Jonah Hill's ex girlfriend, surfer Sarah Brady, released some pretty

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Speaker 1: troubling demands that he had for her online behavior now.

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Speaker 1: Both of these situations illustrate what happens when social media

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Speaker 1: overlaps with controlling behavior in romantic relationships, something that frankly,

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Speaker 1: I just don't think we talk enough about, and something

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Speaker 1: that I think that many of us have dealt with

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Speaker 1: or unfortunately are currently dealing with. So I did a

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Speaker 1: whole episode on Patreon and breaking all of this down.

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Speaker 1: We get into all of it, the weaponization of therapy speak,

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Speaker 1: and whether or not it's ever we're okay for a

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Speaker 1: romantic partner to police what we post on social media.

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Speaker 1: And I thought it was such an important conversation that

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Speaker 1: I wanted to share a little bit of it here

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Speaker 1: in that there are No Girls on the Internet. Feed

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Speaker 1: now If you want to hear the entire conversation, join

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Speaker 1: us over at Patreon at patreon dot com slash Tengoti.

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Speaker 1: I should preface this by saying, I obviously don't know

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Speaker 1: any of these people, and this is just my perspective

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Speaker 1: from an outside person who knows a lot about the

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Speaker 1: Internet and discourse online. I think that we have really

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Speaker 1: gotten into a weird place when it comes to gender.

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Speaker 1: I think that this is just my opinion. I think

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Speaker 1: that we've had the last ten years where like men's

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Speaker 1: rights activists and in cells, and like pick up artists,

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Speaker 1: guys like Fresh and Fit their podcast which is very popular,

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Speaker 1: Guys like Andrew Tate, who is you know, currently being

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Speaker 1: investigated for sex trafficking, right, like men who I think

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Speaker 1: are dangerous because of their actions, but also because of

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Speaker 1: the attitudes about gender and sex and sexuality and romantic

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Speaker 1: relationships and the expectations that men should have regular men

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Speaker 1: should have around those things. I think that is also

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Speaker 1: very dangerous. And I do believe that a lot of

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Speaker 1: those attitudes are sort of maybe they start in these

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Speaker 1: you know, kind of fringe or extreme pockets of discourse

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Speaker 1: or the internet. Right, So, like, I don't I'm not gonna.

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Speaker 1: I don't think that like Jonah Hill is listening to

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Speaker 1: the Fit and Fresh podcast or Andrew Tate's podcast tape speech.

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Speaker 1: But I think that these attitudes start in places that

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Speaker 1: are kind of fringe. They then get really quickly mainstreamed

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Speaker 1: by social media platforms and you see these clips from

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Speaker 1: the podcasts on Twitter things like that, so you don't

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Speaker 1: have to be like a follow up or a listener

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Speaker 1: of these influencers or personalities to get their messages. And

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Speaker 1: I just think those messages have been filtered down to

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Speaker 1: the general public, particularly to young people, particularly to men,

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Speaker 1: and we are no longer treating them as fringe. When

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Speaker 1: they are really extreme, I would argue, really dangerous and

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Speaker 1: really regressive. And I think what's worse is that I

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Speaker 1: think that they keep everybody men women, everybody talking about

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Speaker 1: like women who are dating men. I know this sounds

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Speaker 1: very heteronormative, but that's the two examples that I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about reflect that. But I think that they keep all

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Speaker 1: parties from truly experiencing connection because regressive, rigid attitudes about

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Speaker 1: gender and dating. They obviously harm women who are in

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Speaker 1: the relationships with men like this, but I think they

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Speaker 1: harm the men as well, because they prevent those men

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Speaker 1: from truly being able to see women as people, as

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Speaker 1: humans that they can have respectful connections with. I think

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Speaker 1: that it's this attitude that women are something to be controlled,

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Speaker 1: women are something to be shut, like knocked down, and

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Speaker 1: to make submit. And I think that all of these

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Speaker 1: podcasts and you know, influencers and all of that, I

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Speaker 1: think that they all rely on this like underlying dynamic

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Speaker 1: that you're as a man, your job on earth is

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Speaker 1: to break women, have women submit to you so that

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Speaker 1: you can fulfill your like you know, societally recognized place

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Speaker 1: in relationships, which is you at the top and women

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Speaker 1: at the bottom. And I have a really big problem

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Speaker 1: with this. I know this sounds like I'm making a

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Speaker 1: mountain out of a molehill, but I spend so much

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Speaker 1: time researching and studying the kinds of attitudes that are

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Speaker 1: coming out of these, you know, men's right spaces. And

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter if you dress it up in therapy

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Speaker 1: speak and bleach blonde hair and sleeve tattoos like Jonah Hill,

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Speaker 1: or if you dress it up in the guise of

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Speaker 1: life just being concerned for your family unit, like Kiki

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Speaker 1: Palmer's partner was doing. It's still really really seems like

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Speaker 1: the same kind of dangerous, gendered rhetoric that comes from

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Speaker 1: these pockets of the internet and our online discourse that

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Speaker 1: are so dangerous. So that was just a little preview

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Speaker 1: of our whole conversation. And I know this is not

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Speaker 1: really a topic that I wade into often on the

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Speaker 1: podcast and listen, I am no relationship expert by any means.

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Speaker 1: I actually don't even talk about my own romantic life

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Speaker 1: or personal life on the podcast or even really publicly. However,

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Speaker 1: I did just feel compelled to talk about this situation

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Speaker 1: because I think it's an important one, and I just

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Speaker 1: think it's one that we're not really talking about openly

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Speaker 1: enough or honestly enough, and I honestly really do want

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Speaker 1: to know your thoughts do so, if you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the entire episode, just go to patreon dot com

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Speaker 1: slash tangoty t A n G O t I and listen.