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Speaker 1: Dearest John, It's been a fortnight since I felt your

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Speaker 1: warm embrace.

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Speaker 2: Dear Sam, such it has since we started the Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytell podcast.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and I have a message for you, a delicious

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Speaker 1: story that I think you'll love. Sincerely Sam.

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Speaker 3: But before that, thine divine two minute outbreak must happen,

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Speaker 3: I bid thee farewell.

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Speaker 2: See you in two minutes.

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Speaker 4: I told my wife to wear a different swimsuit because

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Speaker 4: I was uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: It'sy bitsy teeny weenie Yellowpoka dot bikini.

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Speaker 4: My wife twenty seven and I twenty eight have been

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Speaker 4: vacationing through Europe for the past week and we'll continue

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Speaker 4: on for another week. We're fortunate to spend two weeks

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Speaker 4: in Mallorca, Majorca.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, we're in a Spaina in Spain.

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Speaker 4: We've been doing this same trip for the past couple

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Speaker 4: of years. Since my wife is from Europe, we usually

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Speaker 4: visit family towards the end of the trip. By the way,

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Speaker 4: this comes from Uncurved Approach and if you want to

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Speaker 4: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit.

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Speaker 4: So this year, two couples were good friends with joined us.

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Speaker 4: One couple had planned to come with us in twenty

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Speaker 4: twenty two, but had to cancel due to an unexpected pregnancy.

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Speaker 4: This year, they managed to arrange for the grandparents to

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Speaker 4: watch their two year old so they could join us.

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Speaker 4: Another mutual couple who also have kids, heard about the

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Speaker 4: trip and asked to come along as well. The six

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Speaker 4: of us met up in Barcelona and flew into Majorca together.

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Speaker 4: The trouble actually started before the trip, because since we've

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Speaker 4: been to Spain before, I know my wife likes to

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Speaker 4: enjoy the European culture by wearing skimpy bathing suits and

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Speaker 4: often going topless or even fully need m. While I've

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Speaker 4: grown accustomed to it, I still feel a bit strange

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Speaker 4: knowing she's topless or in public. I understand that it's

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Speaker 4: my own preconceived American prudity, but I try to see

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Speaker 4: it from her perspective and respect that it's her body

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Speaker 4: and her choice. She does have a great body, so

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Speaker 4: I can't complain. However, knowing my friends and the and

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Speaker 4: knowing some background information that one has struggled with body

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Speaker 4: image issues after having kids, I hinted that maybe this

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Speaker 4: time she should pack something with a bit more coverage.

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Speaker 4: She got annoyed and asked what I meant. I explained

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Speaker 4: that I thought it would be awkward if she dressed

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Speaker 4: as she usually does with all our mutual friends around.

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Speaker 4: This didn't go over well. We finally agreed to disagree,

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Speaker 4: and she said she wouldn't go topless near anyone we knew.

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Speaker 4: For the first few days, we rented a sailboat with

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Speaker 4: a captain, so there was lots of sun. My wife

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Speaker 4: didn't go topless, but were the skimpiest bikini she must

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Speaker 4: have bought before the trip, because I had never seen

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Speaker 4: it before. It's basically a thong and a tiny top.

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Speaker 4: While she looks amazing in private, it fell awkward in

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Speaker 4: front of our friends and the captain. She was dressed

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Speaker 4: quite differently from everyone else. I argued with her and

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Speaker 4: asked her to please wear another swimsuit, but she said

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Speaker 4: I was overreacting and acting like her dad, if not

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Speaker 4: being misogynist. She's right that in terms of what you

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Speaker 4: do on a beach in Spain, it's not that crazy. However,

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Speaker 4: you wouldn't see this in parts of the US we

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Speaker 4: are from. Am I overreacting here? We just finished the

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Speaker 4: sale trip, but have another five days on the beach

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Speaker 4: with this argument still ongoing. My friends haven't said anything,

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Speaker 4: but I almost feel them judging. Both other wives have

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Speaker 4: very conservative swimsuits and I might be going crazy, but

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Speaker 4: I do feel like they are judging her. I don't

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Speaker 4: see why it's such a big deal to wear a

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Speaker 4: more conservative swimsuit just to make sure everyone is comfortable.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, I get it. You're in paradise and you

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Speaker 1: want to treat it like paradise. And I feel like

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Speaker 1: if you do this every time, and this is like

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Speaker 1: the one.

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Speaker 4: She normally goes topless every time, so she is covering.

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Speaker 1: Up, he's covering up a little bit more.

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Speaker 4: My thing is, dude, sounds a little insecure because it was.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't now. It was also before when she was

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Speaker 1: going in the beach and doing whatever else is doing.

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Speaker 4: He's always had these problems. He has a reason to

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Speaker 4: express them now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: And my dude, you sound really insecure and your wife

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Speaker 4: sounds confident.

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Speaker 1: Af Yeah, and grew up there.

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Speaker 4: This is normal for her.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you're also it's it's a thing where you

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Speaker 1: are also assuming for everybody.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it could become with that pre notion that someone

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Speaker 1: has body issues or body image issues, but.

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Speaker 4: That's their own things. Accommodate for everybody else's thing. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: you can if here's my thing. Girls, the girls talked,

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Speaker 4: I'm sure. I'm sure bathing suits has been discussed amongst

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Speaker 4: them and if there was problems, they would have expressed it.

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Speaker 4: They're friends, Yeah, they're chatting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I this definitely feels like you're using an

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Speaker 1: excuse for your friends, like you need to cover up

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Speaker 1: a bit more, and you're like.

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Speaker 4: She already is covering up a week bit more.

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Speaker 1: Though, for again and for this the European standards, this

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Speaker 1: is the norm. That's them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you said it at the beginning. It is her body,

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Speaker 4: it is her choice what to wear on it. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: she negotiated enough to not go. Yeah, if your friends

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Speaker 4: were uncomfortable, they'd say it. I think you're projecting, but we'll.

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Speaker 1: See a little bit, a little bit.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we have some comments though, Yeah, comment one your

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Speaker 4: friends joined you, not the other way around. She was

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Speaker 4: planning on doing this, you knew it, So next time,

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Speaker 4: don't invite those friends. You are allowed to feel uncomfortable,

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Speaker 4: but you can't force her. Honestly, I would change my

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Speaker 4: clothes if it makes my husband that uncomfortable, but it

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Speaker 4: would be the last time I would travel with those friends,

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Speaker 4: and I would be mad the whole time. Comment two,

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Speaker 4: please let her enjoy. I'm a plump woman and seeing

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Speaker 4: other women enjoying their bodies is so wonderful to me,

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Speaker 4: even if they're tiny and fit. Do you think a

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Speaker 4: few inches more of fabric will really change anything? These

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Speaker 4: are your friends. You trust them not to lose their

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Speaker 4: minds over right. Lastly, I will let you know that

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Speaker 4: when I started working on my insecurities personal and ones

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Speaker 4: related to my relationship, that's when my marriage became better

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Speaker 4: than ever. Working on our insecurities has given us a

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Speaker 4: new level of trust, appreciation, and security that I didn't

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Speaker 4: even know was possible. I highly recommend it, and Opie says,

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Speaker 4: thanks for the response. That makes sense. Maybe it's my

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Speaker 4: own insecurities at play. And then someone replied, no, maybe

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Speaker 4: about it, Bud. You're stressing about if your friends are

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Speaker 4: judging your wife and if one of the women is

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Speaker 4: insecure because of her own body weight. That's weird to me,

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Speaker 4: by the way, Instead of worrying if your wife is

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Speaker 4: happy and confident in her own body and enjoying her vacation,

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Speaker 4: these are your issues and no one else's. You should

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Speaker 4: do some self reflection and let your wife be three,

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Speaker 4: says my seventy eight year old mother in law is

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Speaker 4: from Spain and has been in the US for like

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Speaker 4: fiftyish years. When she is on the beach where we live,

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Speaker 4: she wears appropriate swimmer to the beaches where we go.

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Speaker 4: She is comfortable on the beach in Spain when she

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Speaker 4: takes her yearly trip. That means sometimes she's wearing a

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Speaker 4: rap or sometimes she's topless and pretending to be a

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Speaker 4: starfish while taking a nap. Oh, it isn't a bad

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Speaker 4: thing we need to be afraid of, but especially when

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Speaker 4: you're in a place where it is allowed and somewhat expected,

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Speaker 4: you are overreacting. We have an update.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I feel like the filter. I mean that's

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Speaker 1: just like the US filter. Yeah, it's like all around

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Speaker 1: the world. It's not speaking on every single country, but

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Speaker 1: it's very common. He's a thing, right, and like it's

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Speaker 1: like breathing air. It's natural. It's like everyone's got it.

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Speaker 1: Everyone you know who cares like great.

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Speaker 4: Also, the way he described the bathing suit as like

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Speaker 4: the tiniest thing ever. I feel like it's a fairly

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Speaker 4: normal top and it's just a thong bottom.

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Speaker 1: And he's like, oh my god, who knows.

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Speaker 4: But you're also becoming more popular in the US now too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I feel like there are actually some beaches

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Speaker 1: in the US that are actually allowed to be You're

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Speaker 1: allowed to be topless.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I think so.

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Speaker 1: I don't think about full, but I think at least hopless. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but be a shame. Again, We've already said our piece

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Speaker 1: and all the comments pretty much agreed with us.

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Speaker 3: Be a shame.

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Speaker 1: This is more on you than anything else. You can't

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Speaker 1: assume for people.

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Speaker 4: We would know if her girlfriends were uncomfortable, someone would

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Speaker 4: have said something. I'm sure there would have been some

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Speaker 4: comment like oh wow, like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and again the comment I think that's best, like

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Speaker 1: you are allowed to be uncomfortable. But yeah, but you

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Speaker 1: can't change it. You can't. Bruh.

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Speaker 2: It's free not to look, you know how cheap it

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Speaker 2: is to be like h And I can't see.

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Speaker 4: Anything and we own update. I thought I would post

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Speaker 4: a quick update. The only reason I posted it is

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Speaker 4: because I honestly could not see my wife's point of

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Speaker 4: view on it, even after discussing it with her multiple

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Speaker 4: times I was stuck on why it is so hard

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Speaker 4: to just wear a different swimsuit to avoid any potential issues.

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Speaker 4: I was in the doghouse for a couple of days.

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Speaker 4: But we are off the sailboat and on the beaches

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Speaker 4: now for the last part of the trip with the friends,

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Speaker 4: after things calm down. My wife read the post and

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Speaker 4: she thinks I inaccurately depicted the story in some places.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, but she also.

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Speaker 4: Sort of saw where I was coming from a little

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Speaker 4: bit more in some other ways. The correction being her

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Speaker 4: bikini she chose to wear is not really that crazy. Yes,

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Speaker 4: it's a thong and super revealing, but she thinks I

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Speaker 4: made it sound like she was wearing a g string

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Speaker 4: with two shells covering her nose.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly how you made it sound seeing her beehole.

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Speaker 4: Yeah it's okay. We knew.

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Speaker 1: Behold my behole.

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Speaker 4: We knew what it really looked like. Don't worry. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: it would be something you would see on a European beach,

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Speaker 4: maybe even American regularly. I think being on a boat

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Speaker 4: and not in a beach setting, just with six people

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Speaker 4: somehow made it feel more intimate and noticeable what she

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Speaker 4: was wearing not sure how to explain that. After thinking

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Speaker 4: about it and talking to her, I will admit I

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Speaker 4: was also uncomfortable with my friends seeing my wife's body,

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Speaker 4: which is immature. It's not my property as many people.

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Speaker 4: And she told me the art that started. The main

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Speaker 4: argument which I left out, oh okay, was we were

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Speaker 4: all in the cockpit of the boat, the part where

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Speaker 4: it has the wheel to drive, which is kind of below,

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Speaker 4: and there is a sunbathing part directly in front of that.

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Speaker 4: My wife was laying on her stomach facing away from us.

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Speaker 4: Her thong wasn't positioned totally correctly, and you could see

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Speaker 4: a bit more than I think was meant to be

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Speaker 4: seen for bee hole. My friend just kept looking and

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Speaker 4: losing focus on the conversation. It was kind of embarrassing.

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Speaker 4: He and the other husband were looking before this, but this,

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Speaker 4: for some reason just got to me.

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Speaker 1: That's when you like.

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Speaker 4: Still your own insecurity.

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Speaker 3: That's when you.

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Speaker 1: Literally like and that's when you literally like pat him

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Speaker 1: on the thing. You're like, hey, hey, eyes up.

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Speaker 4: Here right, make a joke out of it or something.

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Speaker 1: You're like, oh, you see what I'm seeing.

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Speaker 4: I don't know why, but him being my longtime friend

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Speaker 4: and It's not like he's creepy guy usually at all,

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Speaker 4: but it just made me way more uncomfortable than I

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Speaker 4: thought it would. I for some reason didn't want to

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Speaker 4: blame him. I know this is wrong, but when I

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Speaker 4: first went to a nude beach in Europe, my eyes wandered.

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Speaker 4: But for some reason, it being my wife and him

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Speaker 4: being my friend just made me cringe. I told my

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Speaker 4: wife later that she was flashing us, but in a

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Speaker 4: rude way. Oh my god, I should have approached it

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Speaker 4: from a different angle, because this is the part where

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Speaker 4: things went south. I think I was just projecting the

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Speaker 4: frustration of the entire situation on her, which was unfair.

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Speaker 4: The only part that sort of changed things is the

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Speaker 4: one wife was actually uncomfortable and obviously noticed her husband

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Speaker 4: staring at my wife. She ended up telling my wife

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Speaker 4: privately that it was hard. I don't want to go

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Speaker 4: into specifics, but she didn't directly blame her, but it

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Speaker 4: was kind of obvious she didn't enjoy the situation. My

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Speaker 4: wife felt bad, as she had no intention of causing

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Speaker 4: any issues. She truly didn't think it would be a problem.

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Speaker 4: She truly sees me completely different than any of us.

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Speaker 4: She will be unclothed in front of her friends and

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Speaker 4: family and not even think about it. That is just

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Speaker 4: coming from a completely different context than any of the

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Speaker 4: other people on the trip.

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Speaker 1: You can be uncomfortable with it, but this is just

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Speaker 1: good to be how it's going to be. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I don't know why.

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Speaker 4: This is how she grew up.

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Speaker 1: This is normal, yeah, for her, for her, for a

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Speaker 1: lot of the world, And it was totally.

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Speaker 4: Fine with you anytime that you guys have gone in

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Speaker 4: the past. This is the first time you've had problems

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Speaker 4: with it. Why would she expect there to be a difference.

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Speaker 1: The only thing is like, if she was going to

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Speaker 1: be it's like, hey, guys, but.

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Speaker 4: They talked about that and she knew that was a boundary,

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Speaker 4: so she said, I will not be new around them. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, we covered all our tracks here.

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Speaker 4: In her mind, she wasn't even unclothed, so what is

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Speaker 4: the big deal. She wasn't there was a there was

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Speaker 4: a bathing suit slip, and you guys stayed in the room.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: However, she did say, knowing what she knows now, she

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Speaker 4: wouldn't want to cause issues in someone else's marriage, no

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Speaker 4: matter if she completely disagrees with it on principle. She

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Speaker 4: thought I was definitely overreacting at first and being jealous,

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Speaker 4: and she still does, but she says I probably had

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Speaker 4: an easier time from my perspective seeing that potential issue.

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Speaker 4: On a positive note, we are not divorcing. This didn't

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Speaker 4: ruin the trip or did the other Where did that

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Speaker 4: come from? If that was where this was headed? WHOA

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Speaker 4: and the other wife and her went to a secluded

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Speaker 4: beach and she, the other wife on the trip, tried

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Speaker 4: going top bus for the first time in her life

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Speaker 4: and loved it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yes, exactly, And you're like, guys, I'm I'm taking

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Speaker 1: my pants off. You want to do it with me?

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Speaker 1: It feels great? Well, but like for the guys, for

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Speaker 1: the guys like all right, if that's if like, no

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Speaker 1: one's going to be bothered by it. We're all friends here.

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Speaker 1: It's the same thing like when like I haven't done

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Speaker 1: it with the Dakota, but if we go to the SPA,

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Speaker 1: if we have it, if we go to the SPA,

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Speaker 1: you get you have to get like all right you

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Speaker 1: guys ready one, two, three, You're like a like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: what it is? I would certainly be like, ah, okay.

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Speaker 4: Edit. I asked for her to come hang out and

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Speaker 4: move quickly after I noticed Uh. I asked her to

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Speaker 4: come hang out and move quickly after I noticed she

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Speaker 4: had an issue with her swimsuit. We have some comments

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Speaker 4: comment one. So this entire saga could have been solved

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Speaker 4: by sacking your friend on the shoulder and saying eyes

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Speaker 4: on your own wife, dude, and going out and whispering

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Speaker 4: in her ear that she has a slight wardrobe malfunction. Instead,

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Speaker 4: you made it into her problem, exactly what Kean said.

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Speaker 4: Reply or everyone got unclothed.

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Speaker 1: Exactly as Keon said. I demand my husband stopped talking

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Speaker 1: to his work wife, but he just won't.

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Speaker 4: Maybe he should marry her.

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Speaker 1: My twenty six female husband twenty eight male works as

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Speaker 1: a car salesman. He's been doing that for almost five

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Speaker 1: years now. About two years ago, a new girl twenty

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Speaker 1: two females started and they hit it off and became friends.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, what kind of funds? They would text and

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Speaker 1: play iPhone message games frequently throughout work. I became uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: with how much they were texting, how much they were

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Speaker 1: eating lunch together and planning what to eat, and would

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Speaker 1: buy each other's food and like that. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from user round Legs seventy four to twenty

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Speaker 1: six and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 1: go to the r slash. Okay, storytime suppured it. So

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Speaker 1: it made me mad that he made time to tell

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Speaker 1: her happy birthday while we were on a family vacation

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Speaker 1: with our four kids. This maybe is dramatic, but come on,

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Speaker 1: we're on vacation. Why are you thinking about her? Just

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Speaker 1: tell her when you get back to work. I don't

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Speaker 1: know about that one, just saying was.

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Speaker 4: It a text or was it a long Okay? Yes,

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Speaker 4: was it a phone while you're trying to do things

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Speaker 4: with your four kids, because that can be chaotic.

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Speaker 1: Or like, like, that's the priority of your day the prior

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Speaker 1: I got a text that first thing? It's her birthday.

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Speaker 4: Also, just be the breaking point on top of a lot.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. It's the straw that breaks that

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Speaker 1: can come back. It's like, oh, it was Dakota's birthdays,

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Speaker 1: Like I have to wish him happy birthday. Yeah. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: no matter how much I asked him to stop texting her,

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Speaker 1: he didn't listen. He didn't hide anything from me, No

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Speaker 1: deleted messages or inappropriate messages. So I was like, well,

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Speaker 1: he's not cheating. Oh oh, well, I guess they're just friends

336
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Speaker 1: that I'm being insecure. I have never met this girl.

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00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:09,400
Speaker 1: She's a long term boyfriend as well, so whatever. Fast

338
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Speaker 1: forward a little bit and they get into an argument

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Speaker 1: at work. My husband would never tell me what it

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00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,280
Speaker 1: was about, so we were on clear like, oh, you

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Speaker 1: get everything to I'm not going to tell you why.

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Speaker 1: My bestie and I got.

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Speaker 4: To an argument argument at work too, like what are

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Speaker 4: you fighting about?

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00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,920
Speaker 1: What did he do wrong? That's really suspicious even now

346
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:33,680
Speaker 1: a year later. But they didn't talk at all for months.

347
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,920
Speaker 1: I was happy, honestly irritated that all the times I

348
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Speaker 1: had asked him to stop talking to her he didn't listen,

349
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Speaker 1: but content that they weren't texting all the time at work.

350
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,800
Speaker 1: But recently the past few months, she has been making

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Speaker 1: an effort to be friends with him again, talking to

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Speaker 1: other coworkers and asking what he's doing, or telling them

353
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Speaker 1: that she needs him for something, probably work related. I'll

354
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Speaker 1: never know, he won't tell me. They haven't texted since

355
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Speaker 1: January of this year, but I have no idea what

356
00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,680
Speaker 1: they say or do in person. I've started many arguments

357
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Speaker 1: about how his male coworkers will text him to say

358
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Speaker 1: his girl needs him.

359
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,600
Speaker 4: Oh yo, oh.

360
00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:13,840
Speaker 1: Oh, that's if I saw that, Like, if you like

361
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,560
Speaker 1: his like her boy needs to talk talk to him,

362
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:21,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, or talk to her. I'm like what, Yeah, yeah,

363
00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,439
Speaker 1: I am not happy with this. Even though there's like

364
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:28,720
Speaker 1: no physical cheating, this is certainly in the context of

365
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Speaker 1: emotionally cheating.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

367
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Speaker 4: And the fact that he stopped telling you, in the

368
00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:36,040
Speaker 4: fact that they've gone to talking in person makes me

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Speaker 4: think that it's across that boundary and they can get

370
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Speaker 4: away with it now because you're not checking the text

371
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Speaker 4: because there are no.

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Speaker 1: And that you're asking for him to stop, and he

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Speaker 1: doesn't do a single.

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Speaker 4: Thing the second that you're uncomfortable, he should at least

375
00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,080
Speaker 4: think hard about that.

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00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, And he's like no, no, no, no, you'll let you

377
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,119
Speaker 1: guys meet, Yeah, something like that. You're in comfy with

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Speaker 1: my my new bestie. That sucks.

379
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,280
Speaker 4: It's my girl best friend. You can't be mad.

380
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,120
Speaker 1: How they all know that there's a relationship of some

381
00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,480
Speaker 1: sort between them by calling her his girl. I also

382
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,840
Speaker 1: read a message on his phone that he had deleted

383
00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:10,840
Speaker 1: between my husband and a male coworker where my husband

384
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Speaker 1: essentially called the girl hot specifically said she's still bad

385
00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:18,320
Speaker 1: af Like, Wow, what a blow to my self esteem?

386
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,679
Speaker 1: Why would he say that to another coworker. I truly

387
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:24,679
Speaker 1: felt like that was an acceptable behavior. It makes me

388
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:27,679
Speaker 1: look bad as his wife, he says, I shouldn't worry.

389
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,560
Speaker 1: Everyone knows he's married and how happy he is with me.

390
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,840
Speaker 1: YadA YadA. Sure he will go out of his way

391
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,480
Speaker 1: to buy her drinks slash food, and I guess she

392
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,840
Speaker 1: does the same. I only see his side of text.

393
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Speaker 1: I don't know if y'all will agree with me on this,

394
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,480
Speaker 1: but my husband buying another girl food just really ticks

395
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:48,800
Speaker 1: me off. Hell Texas coworkers and have them ask if

396
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:50,800
Speaker 1: she wants her normal order?

397
00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:52,240
Speaker 4: Does he know you're a normal order?

398
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:57,080
Speaker 1: Oo? I've basically told him that he can either leave

399
00:18:57,119 --> 00:18:59,479
Speaker 1: his job as soon as I graduate nursing school and

400
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,360
Speaker 1: start working, or we are going to separate. I hate

401
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 1: to be pushed to that point of an ultimatum, but

402
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:07,719
Speaker 1: it's just NonStop with him. I should also add that

403
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,359
Speaker 1: he has done this at every job he's had. He

404
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 1: gets in a close friendship with a girl that he

405
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 1: works with, tells me there's nothing to worry about, but

406
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,359
Speaker 1: then makes me feel uncomfortable with how much they talk.

407
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 1: After he leaves a job, they never talk again, which

408
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,600
Speaker 1: is why I feel like I'm overreacting. Obviously, there has

409
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:29,520
Speaker 1: never been anything going on before that I'm aware of,

410
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,800
Speaker 1: and we've been together twelve years now, so I guess

411
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 1: all of this to say, am I overreacting? Should I

412
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 1: just let it go and let them be friends? There's

413
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,240
Speaker 1: an edit to ad she is not another salesperson. She

414
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,960
Speaker 1: is a manager. She was not a manager when the

415
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,840
Speaker 1: friendship started, but has moved up recently this year. I

416
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,960
Speaker 1: think from what I understand, when people go online to

417
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,440
Speaker 1: look at cars, she contacts them and then gets them

418
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 1: with a salesperson to start the process of buying a car.

419
00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,239
Speaker 1: My husband likes to say that he needs to keep

420
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,520
Speaker 1: her happy so she will keep giving her leads to

421
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,440
Speaker 1: people buying cars so that he can earn more commission.

422
00:20:04,359 --> 00:20:07,200
Speaker 1: This may change people's opinions, and I just completely forgot

423
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 1: to add that in earlier.

424
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:09,639
Speaker 4: What does keep her happy?

425
00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 2: Mean?

426
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 4: Me? Elaborate on that for me?

427
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,560
Speaker 1: He says he has to play nice so that he

428
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,320
Speaker 1: can keep earning money. He still called her hot though,

429
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 1: to another coworker, So not sure that helps him, and

430
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 1: we have a small update. But honey, here's my other

431
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:25,680
Speaker 1: thing too.

432
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,800
Speaker 4: Has things just not escalated with any of the girls

433
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:31,200
Speaker 4: that he's done this with because he switched jobs too quickly,

434
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:32,400
Speaker 4: or has he just.

435
00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,600
Speaker 1: Not had the time or he got caught. It's weird

436
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,920
Speaker 1: because he does adamantly say like, I got a new works.

437
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 4: I think there's a brag that he likes about it

438
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,080
Speaker 4: because at this point she's not doing anything about it.

439
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:47,720
Speaker 1: M yeah, ultra violet. I was gonna say, you've the

440
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:50,520
Speaker 1: fact that he's done this with multiple girls at multiple

441
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:54,480
Speaker 1: jobs and he still doesn't get the hints. At this point,

442
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,920
Speaker 1: you're being disrespected. He doesn't care what you want. No,

443
00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:01,280
Speaker 1: I would be out of it, freaking remore twelve years

444
00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,440
Speaker 1: and he's just like, nah.

445
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:05,159
Speaker 4: He doesn't care, he doesn't care, he doesn't care to

446
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,920
Speaker 4: talk about it. He's not taking your feelings into account

447
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 4: at all.

448
00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:13,159
Speaker 1: The fact that they're referring to his girl or her

449
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:16,920
Speaker 1: guy not okay. You can have you can be friends

450
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,480
Speaker 1: with opposite genders at work, but if it's like twenty

451
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 1: four to seven, you guys are playing like phone games.

452
00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,679
Speaker 4: If what he's taking time out of your vacation to

453
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,200
Speaker 4: make sure that he talks to her.

454
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 1: Red flags. Small update. I read all the comments. I

455
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,400
Speaker 1: will make an official update after I talked to him.

456
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 1: He's off work tomorrow and I plan to sit down

457
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 1: and have a genuine conversation about boundaries and further expectations.

458
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,600
Speaker 1: I am not ready to throw in the towel on

459
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 1: this relationship. If he can answer my questions such as

460
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 1: what was the argument about, why do you feel the

461
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,000
Speaker 1: need to build a connection with a woman at every

462
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 1: job and agree to marriage counseling good it would be

463
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 1: beneficial for both of us, as we are both making

464
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: immature choices. If I am the issue and just jealous

465
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,520
Speaker 1: because he's friends with a girl, then I will own

466
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,199
Speaker 1: that and work to change. I will ask that he

467
00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 1: do the same with developing these relationships at jobs and

468
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:15,320
Speaker 1: ending the current one. I want to say that he

469
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,439
Speaker 1: has never referred to her as his work wife. His

470
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 1: co workers did, and then I started to as well.

471
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 1: She's always just been a friend when he's talked about

472
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:26,879
Speaker 1: her before. I order that differently.

473
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:27,120
Speaker 4: Now.

474
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,919
Speaker 1: They just became so close so fast that everyone at

475
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 1: his work noticed and started referring to her as his

476
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 1: work wife and his girl. Thank you all for providing input.

477
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:39,040
Speaker 1: I wonder if this information changes any minds. Let me

478
00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: know if that's the case, and I'll let you all

479
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,640
Speaker 1: know more tomorrow. Let's get right into it. We have

480
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:50,000
Speaker 1: an update update. Yes, we have been together since we

481
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:54,360
Speaker 1: were fourteen slash sixteen. There was never any long breakup.

482
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:56,960
Speaker 1: We have never been with another partner since getting together

483
00:22:57,000 --> 00:23:00,600
Speaker 1: in high school. Did you say?

484
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:03,800
Speaker 4: I said, I found the problem.

485
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,120
Speaker 1: We also have four kids, last two are twins. Got

486
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 1: a two for one there and they are six, so

487
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:13,520
Speaker 1: no more babies. Why can't he have female friends? He

488
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,360
Speaker 1: can and he does. Let me share a little bit

489
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 1: more information about why this friendship is not like the others. First,

490
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 1: let's give her a name. Let's call her Amanda. After

491
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,800
Speaker 1: I expressed that I think he has feelings for Amanda

492
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 1: a couple months ago, he said she'd let me f

493
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 1: her if I wanted to. You're lucky. I don't want to.

494
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:41,040
Speaker 1: Uh okay. He's also said things like she's obsessed with me,

495
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 1: and I try not to talk to her unless I

496
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 1: have to. But that is proven wrong when I read

497
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 1: his text and his male coworker saying find out what

498
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 1: Amanda wants for lunch. Amanda will definitely give me her

499
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:54,160
Speaker 1: socks if I asked.

500
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 4: Her, huh, why are we staying?

501
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: Why are we saying give me her socks? I really

502
00:24:03,040 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 1: don't understand that one. There was no context that I

503
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,400
Speaker 1: could find. I don't understand that one either, But that's

504
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 1: very weird. And his coworker's texting him saying, Amanda is

505
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,719
Speaker 1: looking for you some emoji, probably a winki face. We

506
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:18,800
Speaker 1: all know about who you're into. And in response to that,

507
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 1: he said, nah, ain't nothing there anymore anymore. I think

508
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 1: I don't know anymore. Why is he Why is he

509
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:27,320
Speaker 1: text like a like I guess.

510
00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,199
Speaker 4: Sixteen year old that never matured because he's only had

511
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 4: one relationship and has never matured past it.

512
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:35,240
Speaker 1: Bingo. I know you're all gonna hate this, but I

513
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:37,600
Speaker 1: don't want to meet her at all. I don't want

514
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,880
Speaker 1: to have to go to his work consistently to basically

515
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: mark my territory.

516
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 4: Do it pee? You should pee everywhere? Mark at all?

517
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 1: Not that way, but that way. I said what I said, Yeah, okay,

518
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 1: She's always right. He should have to set boundaries and

519
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:56,360
Speaker 1: keep them. The male coworkers he has aren't good guys

520
00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 1: to be around. Given the opportunity, they cheat to my

521
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 1: husban and has told me stories of an attractive woman

522
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,040
Speaker 1: coming in and ever in trying to get her number

523
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 1: to see who she go out with. They're all married too,

524
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,679
Speaker 1: cars salesmen are slimy. Not sure why I thought my

525
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:18,040
Speaker 1: husband was any different. So here is the update. He

526
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 1: admitted to having an emotional affair after I explained what

527
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: it was. It was never physical. I do believe that

528
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 1: we have life three sixty. He's always home on time.

529
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,879
Speaker 1: He's never been shown to go anywhere suspicious in the

530
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 1: middle of the day for a long time, so I'm

531
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 1: inclined to believe that it was never physical. But it

532
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 1: still wasn't allow Chanal. We've decided marriage counseling is going

533
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,720
Speaker 1: to be our best option to keep our family together.

534
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:43,720
Speaker 1: I told him he has to set up an appointment

535
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,560
Speaker 1: so I know that he's actually willing to put in

536
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:47,840
Speaker 1: the work. I know that we've been together a long

537
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: time and haven't ever dated other people, but he still

538
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 1: chose to marry me. If he doesn't want to be

539
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 1: married anymore and wants to have the ability to flirt

540
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,199
Speaker 1: and date other people, then he should have told me

541
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: he wanted ada. It would have sucked. But it's better

542
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 1: than feeling this betrayal. I feel like I'm doing so

543
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,679
Speaker 1: much for the betterment of me in my family. I

544
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 1: start a tech job at the hospital soon, so I'll

545
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: be saving up as much as possible in case the

546
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 1: counseling doesn't work out. Smart. Yes, and I'll be a

547
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: nurse in six months. Congrats, good luck, So me and

548
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 1: the kids will be okay regardless. Thanks for taking the

549
00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,679
Speaker 1: time to read again, And that is the end of

550
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:32,120
Speaker 1: that story. Yeah, yeah, I mean you said it yourself.

551
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 1: I mean it seems like you're right on track to

552
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,919
Speaker 1: really just be on your own if you need to be,

553
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:38,920
Speaker 1: if you need to be. If you're not getting respected

554
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 1: and he doesn't follow through, that's if he doesn't follow through.

555
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 1: If he does, and things go get better between you

556
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:48,880
Speaker 1: and your husband, great, happy story, happy family, happy happy.

557
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 1: I would suggest that if it's not like the biggest

558
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 1: thorn in.

559
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 4: The side, if he can do that easy.

560
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 1: Enough, you can transfer to another you know, shop or

561
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,560
Speaker 1: whatever or car dealership. It's not hard.

562
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,560
Speaker 4: Wow, that one really got to me.

563
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 1: Yeah.

564
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 3: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here.

565
00:27:09,359 --> 00:27:10,919
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

566
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 2: minutes of ads from our sponsors.

567
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,919
Speaker 4: My mother in law can't mind her own business, but

568
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 4: my husband doesn't care.

569
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:19,960
Speaker 1: Okay, you should care a little bit.

570
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 4: And this comes directly from the Okay storytime subredd it

571
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:27,000
Speaker 4: Nice I thirty four female, married my husband forty mail

572
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:31,119
Speaker 4: seven years ago. We've been together for nine before we

573
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 4: had kids. My mother in law and sister in law

574
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 4: were annoying, but nothing too horrible.

575
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 1: That's the price you pay.

576
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 4: Usually wanted to have game nights every weekend sounds fun.

577
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,840
Speaker 4: Uh constantly coming over and calling all the time. I

578
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:50,000
Speaker 4: didn't answer her calls, so she stopped, but still called

579
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 4: my husband several times a day. By the way, this

580
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 4: comes from should I Leave nineteen and if you want

581
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,880
Speaker 4: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash

582
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 4: Okay storytime subreddit. So we have had four babies in

583
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 4: five years. My first was in twenty twenty, and since

584
00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 4: I announced my first pregnancy, she has steadily become increasingly

585
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 4: unbearable and overstepped every boundary imaginable. She is jealous of

586
00:28:13,680 --> 00:28:17,080
Speaker 4: my parents' relationship with my three nieces and has made

587
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 4: numerous remarks that she wants to have the same relationship

588
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 4: with my kids. Only caveat My sister in law was

589
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 4: nonexistent and my brother worked all the time, so we

590
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:31,760
Speaker 4: practically raised my nieces. Not the same situation at all.

591
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:34,880
Speaker 4: We have them one to two times during the week,

592
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 4: and until a year ago, we had them every weekend.

593
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:41,600
Speaker 4: Now it's every other weekend. Before my first was even born,

594
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:44,000
Speaker 4: she blatantly stated she was going to try to be

595
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 4: the favorite grandma and would show up at her house crying,

596
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 4: asking if I was going to allow her to watch

597
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 4: her grandkids or worrying that my kids would like my

598
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 4: parents more. She was upset I didn't want her in

599
00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 4: the delivery room and tried to show up anyways for

600
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 4: the first I don't get why people want to watch that.

601
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 1: It's the beauty of life, but also not your place,

602
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:08,240
Speaker 1: you know.

603
00:29:08,920 --> 00:29:12,000
Speaker 4: She was turned away, but still snuck in to visit

604
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:15,560
Speaker 4: during the VID when we weren't supposed to have visitors.

605
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,560
Speaker 4: For my second and third, same thing, snuck in during

606
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 4: visiting hours despite the VID protocols. My fourth berth was

607
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 4: the worst. I had started setting boundaries, but this was

608
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,320
Speaker 4: the first time the VID wasn't an issue. She tried

609
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:32,120
Speaker 4: to tell me she was coming to see me right

610
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 4: after my surgery. I told her four times, on four

611
00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 4: separate occasions, that she was not allowed until we called her.

612
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 4: When I was in recovery. She called my husband as

613
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,760
Speaker 4: I was getting checked in to say she was on

614
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:49,000
Speaker 4: her way and would wait in the room. I reminded

615
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 4: him she was not welcome and to tell her to

616
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 4: go home, but she came anyway, actually made it to

617
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 4: my room this time and tried to bust in while

618
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:00,959
Speaker 4: I was getting prepped for my sea section.

619
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 1: Can't the doctor's just like her out.

620
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 4: My nurse immediately stopped her thank you because I told

621
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 4: her it was only to be my husband and my

622
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 4: mom in the room. They sent her back down, and

623
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 4: my husband started getting bombarded with poor me texts while

624
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 4: I was in the middle of going back for my

625
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,880
Speaker 4: fourth sea section in four and a half years. I

626
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 4: almost passed away during it, but she just kept texting.

627
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 4: She has diagnosed bipolar disorder and a few other conditions

628
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 4: she won't discuss. She walks around with a pharmacy in

629
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 4: her purse, but won't talk about what she's been diagnosed with.

630
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 4: Every time she has outbursts, she claims they're changing her

631
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 4: med dosage. Every time I have a baby. She starts

632
00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 4: calling ten to twelve times a day to talk to

633
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 4: the kids, video chatting six to eight times a day

634
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 4: to see the baby, showing up one to three times

635
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 4: a day unannounced.

636
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:57,520
Speaker 1: Get this lady a dog, Get her something to distract her.

637
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 1: I whoa, she hasn't so much time in the day

638
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 1: to do all of this. Get this lady something, Get

639
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 1: her a toy.

640
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:11,320
Speaker 4: I take as much as I can, and then finally

641
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:14,480
Speaker 4: snap and tell my husband enough is enough. He talks

642
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 4: to her. She starts panicking about not being the favorite

643
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 4: grandparent and wants to have the most bonding time with

644
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,040
Speaker 4: the new baby. After we go back to work at

645
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 4: three months, it usually settles down because I have my

646
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:30,240
Speaker 4: dad watch the kids two days. She watches them two days,

647
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 4: against my wishes, but my husband says it's only fair

648
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,320
Speaker 4: if my dad gets to and my husband is off

649
00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 4: one day during the week. However, I started working from

650
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 4: home now that I have four babies and no longer

651
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:46,120
Speaker 4: need childcare. This has sent her into a whole new

652
00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 4: frenzy of irrational behavior. My mother in law and sister

653
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 4: in law call crying, saying they miss the kids so

654
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:56,320
Speaker 4: much they can't go five days without seeing them.

655
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 1: That sucks. Guess what, not your kids? Not your kid.

656
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:02,720
Speaker 4: Since I've put a stop to them coming over, my

657
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 4: husband now takes the kids to their house, so they

658
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 4: call and ask him multiple times a day, and if

659
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 4: he says no, it's poor me, and she starts threatening

660
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 4: to show up. My husband refuses to say no. I

661
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:18,280
Speaker 4: no longer allow my kids to spend the night with

662
00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 4: her because she lies about taking my kids places and

663
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 4: has serious physical limitations. She's had back surgery with her

664
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:30,320
Speaker 4: spine and neck fused in several places, has limited head

665
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 4: mobility and balance issues, falls with the least little misstep,

666
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:39,520
Speaker 4: and has limited strength. She can barely hold my fourteen

667
00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 4: pound four and a half month year old, let alone

668
00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 4: manage a car seat. She can't put my two four

669
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,400
Speaker 4: and five year old in their car seats. My sister

670
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,440
Speaker 4: in law doesn't know how to buckle the seats either,

671
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:54,440
Speaker 4: and makes us do it when loading the kids, so

672
00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:58,000
Speaker 4: they're not getting buckled into any car when they go places.

673
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 1: That's crazy. Sorry, how do you buckle it in?

674
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:02,640
Speaker 2: You?

675
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:03,600
Speaker 4: Just how do you buckle?

676
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: See you put it through this? It shows you I

677
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:07,120
Speaker 1: know the.

678
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 4: Car seats are difficult to put into the car, but

679
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 4: then once they're in it, the buckles usually stay the same.

680
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: But also, didn't we learn with the first one. I

681
00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 1: guess like everyone learns with the first kid, but we're

682
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 1: on kid number four and we still don't know how

683
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 1: to do this At this point. It's not just like

684
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:26,520
Speaker 1: the sanity for myself, but it's also the safety of

685
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:27,240
Speaker 1: my children.

686
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:30,959
Speaker 4: Right. She's never been around children other than ours and

687
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:34,160
Speaker 4: doesn't pay close enough attention to them. My father in

688
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 4: law has never even held a baby before my oldest

689
00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 4: and has had several strokes this past year with cognitive impairment.

690
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 4: But they're in denial and let him watch the kids alone.

691
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 4: Last month, we were over for Father's Day and they

692
00:33:47,920 --> 00:33:49,880
Speaker 4: let my father in law take my two year old

693
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,840
Speaker 4: to the garage to pretend to drive his antique truck.

694
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:56,320
Speaker 4: Even after I said no, he forgot he was watching

695
00:33:56,400 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 4: him and wandered off cleaning the garage, leaving the truck

696
00:33:59,640 --> 00:34:03,000
Speaker 4: door open. My son fell out of the truck and

697
00:34:03,080 --> 00:34:06,880
Speaker 4: fell head first to the ground. Oh thankfully he landed

698
00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,560
Speaker 4: on a big bag, but still got a bad bruise

699
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 4: on his head. I told my husband several times to

700
00:34:13,360 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 4: go check on them, but he didn't want to upset

701
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 4: my mother in law and said I was being too overprotective,

702
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 4: which is always his comeback.

703
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 1: That's too overprotective. When your child literally falls head first.

704
00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 4: That's a concussion. You have a bruise on your head.

705
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 1: It's a concussion, especially if they're young enough. Because they're

706
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 1: off they're soft. Ah what all right? Okay, we got

707
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 1: a set of boundary, but it's not helping when your

708
00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:43,320
Speaker 1: husband is so compliant to their wishes.

709
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,879
Speaker 4: Even though I've told them multiple times I don't want

710
00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:50,160
Speaker 4: them driving. They bought car seats anyway, right after I

711
00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,800
Speaker 4: had my last baby, when I was on strict rest

712
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 4: because I almost passed away. My husband told them they

713
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 4: could have the older three for a night, so they

714
00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:02,120
Speaker 4: got the seats again, uh, and caused us to get

715
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 4: in a huge fight. He basically said they were allowed

716
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:08,120
Speaker 4: to take them wherever they want, and that was that.

717
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,319
Speaker 4: I couldn't physically do anything and just sat on the

718
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 4: couch fuming while she laughed in my face when she

719
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 4: got to her house and made my husband install the

720
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:20,839
Speaker 4: seats for her, making passive aggressive comments like oh, we'll

721
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:23,359
Speaker 4: be careful, don't worry, your highness, we won't go to

722
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:26,800
Speaker 4: too many places with a smirk that you're just stuck

723
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 4: on the couch because she almost passed away and you

724
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:33,000
Speaker 4: are taunting her. Yeah, and as a husband, you are

725
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:33,920
Speaker 4: helping them.

726
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:36,839
Speaker 1: And you want the safety for your children, and you're

727
00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 1: also just so stressed out.

728
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:40,640
Speaker 4: I don't think that husband wants the safety for his

729
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:41,719
Speaker 4: children or good wife.

730
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:44,839
Speaker 1: He doesn't care. He just wants whatever appieces to his mother,

731
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:46,279
Speaker 1: mainly his mother.

732
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,480
Speaker 4: Guess what. They haven't stayed the night at their house

733
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:52,600
Speaker 4: since they got so upset when my husband told them

734
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 4: no for the first time after I said enough was

735
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,760
Speaker 4: enough with them showing up unannounced that they called four

736
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:00,840
Speaker 4: times in one day saying they were coming over. He

737
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 4: told them no each time, so they went and bought

738
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 4: a whole SUV. They called at nine point thirty at

739
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,279
Speaker 4: night asking to come by while we were getting the

740
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,520
Speaker 4: kids to sleep, just to show us the car. They

741
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:15,279
Speaker 4: can't even afford it. My mother in law is a

742
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:20,479
Speaker 4: gambling regular user over fifteen thousand dollars in debt who

743
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 4: doesn't work, and my sister in law co signed because

744
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 4: she has good credit but only works part time. My

745
00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 4: father in law is a veteran, so they qualified under

746
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 4: some program. While here, my mother in law starts bragging

747
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 4: and rubbing it in my face that now she has

748
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 4: all the room she needs for all her grandchildren since

749
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:43,200
Speaker 4: she has an suv, all smug like she won.

750
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:48,799
Speaker 1: You dropped him on his head, like, shut up, you

751
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:54,280
Speaker 1: just bought a car where now he gets to fall farther? Yeah, idiot.

752
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 4: I just laughed and reminded her that there are four

753
00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 4: kids now and she still only bought a two row.

754
00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 4: When I tell you, I've never seen a smile drop

755
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:07,600
Speaker 4: so fast, she just said, oh yeah and walked out

756
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 4: the door. They bought it so fast out of spite

757
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 4: that they literally didn't even count how many seats they

758
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:17,000
Speaker 4: needed or do any research. My current issue is that

759
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:19,840
Speaker 4: my son is starting school next week. She wants to

760
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 4: come to the first day with us to drop him off.

761
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 4: My parents are coming. They have with all my nieces,

762
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 4: and its tradition. They usually say hi, take a picture,

763
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,520
Speaker 4: but allow my brother to actually walk into class. I

764
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:34,879
Speaker 4: personally would prefer them not to come with my son,

765
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,759
Speaker 4: but its tradition, and they're the reason we're going to

766
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 4: this nice school. They bought us a house in an

767
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:44,360
Speaker 4: amazing school district in a new subdivision that's much safer

768
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 4: than where we were living for the sole purpose of

769
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 4: my kids going to a better school. We pay them

770
00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 4: rent each month, but they're the whole reason we have

771
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,280
Speaker 4: this opportunity, so I owe it to them to allow

772
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:58,400
Speaker 4: them to come. Plus, my brother's new fiance has a

773
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 4: five year old that's thankful going to be in my

774
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,320
Speaker 4: son's class, so they have two grandkids to go watch,

775
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 4: not just my son. My son is very anxious with

776
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:12,319
Speaker 4: separation anxiety and has never been away from us. We

777
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 4: signed him up for baseball the last two years to

778
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:18,200
Speaker 4: help him socially. The first year he wouldn't even go

779
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:21,480
Speaker 4: on the field alone until the last twoms.

780
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:27,560
Speaker 1: So that's so cute. Oh but no, man, buddy, I'll

781
00:38:27,600 --> 00:38:28,040
Speaker 1: be okay.

782
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 4: You're right here at the fence right. He's doing amazing

783
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:37,359
Speaker 4: this year and has become much more independent, but it's

784
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,799
Speaker 4: been a lot of hard work. My mother in law,

785
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,239
Speaker 4: sister in law, and father in law want to go

786
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,080
Speaker 4: to the actual classroom with us. They are over the

787
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,760
Speaker 4: top emotional and always have to be the center of attention.

788
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 4: I feel it will be too much for my son

789
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:53,880
Speaker 4: to have an audience of three additional people, all there

790
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,839
Speaker 4: just for him, especially since they'll make it a big deal.

791
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 4: My husband asked when the first day was while on

792
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 4: the phone with mother in law. I waited for him

793
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 4: to get off the phone and tried to calmly explain

794
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 4: all the reasons I didn't think it was a good

795
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:09,560
Speaker 4: idea for them to come. He instantly blew up and

796
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 4: said he needs his mom there for support because he'll

797
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 4: be a basket case. He's very emotional too, and he

798
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 4: has been dreading this day since before our son was born.

799
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,040
Speaker 4: Refuses to talk about school and says it was the

800
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,960
Speaker 4: worst day of his life, feeling like he was being

801
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 4: abandoned by his mom.

802
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:29,560
Speaker 1: Okay, this is stemming from another issue.

803
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:33,240
Speaker 4: Then, sounds like his mom should be there for him,

804
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:36,239
Speaker 4: not your son. Yeah, he said he was coming and

805
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,960
Speaker 4: instantly dropped it, kept changing the subject. The kids were

806
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,719
Speaker 4: in the car and I didn't want them to hear

807
00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 4: us argue, so I dropped it too. I'm waiting for

808
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 4: the right time to tell him that she is not

809
00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 4: coming to the first day, that I'm tired of him

810
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:53,359
Speaker 4: choosing her side instead of mine and not backing me up,

811
00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 4: that I'm his wife, and he should be respecting my

812
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:59,440
Speaker 4: wishes and not casting them aside to go with whatever

813
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,400
Speaker 4: his mother wants, and that he needs to stick up

814
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 4: for me for once. We have other issues we've been

815
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:10,840
Speaker 4: working through, essentially his drinking problems, depression, infidelity, and lying.

816
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,719
Speaker 4: We broke up last year, but I found out I

817
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 4: was pregnant a week later.

818
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 1: Oh okay.

819
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:19,320
Speaker 4: I told him I would give it until the baby

820
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 4: was born if he proved he was working on himself.

821
00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,600
Speaker 4: We went to couples therapy. He stopped drinking as far

822
00:40:25,640 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 4: as I know, has stopped the apps he was using,

823
00:40:28,719 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 4: and is working on his depression. We've actually been doing

824
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 4: a lot better, but the only area we clash in

825
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 4: still is his mom. I'm finally fed up with coming

826
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:41,360
Speaker 4: in second to her and having my wishes and concerns ignored.

827
00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,799
Speaker 4: She relies on him for support and turns to him

828
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:49,080
Speaker 4: more as a partner than a son, and he's equally codependent.

829
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 4: I've dealt with this for nine years, but the more

830
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 4: boundaries I try to draw, the more she pushes, and

831
00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:00,520
Speaker 4: with her husband sick, now it's worse than ever. I'm

832
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:03,040
Speaker 4: afraid of drawing a line in the sand because it

833
00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,360
Speaker 4: might be the final one and cause the end of

834
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:09,640
Speaker 4: our relationship. Am I overreacting? Is this worth going low

835
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:11,560
Speaker 4: contact or even no contact?

836
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 1: It's it's totally worth it. But the thing is that's

837
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:20,359
Speaker 1: not going to change your husband's relationship with his mother. Yeah,

838
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 1: and that relationship with you.

839
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 4: He's not going to go low or no contact exactly.

840
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:29,080
Speaker 1: So it's like, it's not the ultimatum unfore it, but

841
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:30,760
Speaker 1: you might have to be an ultimatum.

842
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:36,279
Speaker 4: Breezed through a plethora of other issues there.

843
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:41,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, well that came out of that curveball me y

844
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 1: whoa wha, wha, wha, wha, whoa whoa. That should have

845
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:48,760
Speaker 1: been very pertinent earlier. Yeah, I know it's rough because

846
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 1: you have four kids, but this family is just causing

847
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:56,919
Speaker 1: you stress and stress and stress, zero support. They they

848
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,799
Speaker 1: smirk at you when you don't when they get their

849
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:03,560
Speaker 1: way and you don't get yours with all that prenotion stuff.

850
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:07,360
Speaker 1: I mean, it's it's it's a rough situation there, Like

851
00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 1: you had me with the kids and like going to kindergarten,

852
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 1: you know, supporting that.

853
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 4: But I would be worried if they did divorce, what

854
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:19,759
Speaker 4: split custody would look like?

855
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:20,920
Speaker 1: Oh, with the family.

856
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 4: That's that crazy on one side. Oh yeah, that intense

857
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 4: and if there would be any precautions that you could

858
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 4: have written into that against them with your days pace

859
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:33,600
Speaker 4: for the divorce if that happened.

860
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,919
Speaker 1: But it has to get to a point where enough

861
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:40,000
Speaker 1: is enough, you know, for your sanity and for your

862
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:41,280
Speaker 1: kids safety.

863
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was I'm still processing the last like three sentences.

864
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 1: Out of nowhere. I wait, okay, yeah, we got we

865
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: got figured out.

866
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 4: And then what Okay, my friend paid me five hundred

867
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 4: dollars to leave the trip because they weren't comfortable with me.

868
00:42:58,000 --> 00:42:59,399
Speaker 3: You could have got some more money for that.

869
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 4: My partner, Lauren and I are both twenty seven female.

870
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 4: We are Sappix child free homeowners, special ed teachers with

871
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 4: very comfortable income. We splurge occasionally, but we budget and

872
00:43:11,760 --> 00:43:15,040
Speaker 4: are frugal. By the way, this comes from Aziza twenty

873
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 4: nine And if you want us to meet your own stories,

874
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:20,440
Speaker 4: go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So Lauren

875
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:23,760
Speaker 4: has a longtime friend group of five girls yearly girls

876
00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:27,799
Speaker 4: trips meet in various places across the country, and we're

877
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 4: in the US using one friend we'll call her Sally's

878
00:43:31,800 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 4: timeshare enter the girl's July trip in Tahoe, Nevada. Usually

879
00:43:38,040 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 4: partners don't attend, but the group agreed I could join

880
00:43:40,840 --> 00:43:44,400
Speaker 4: because we would be flying in from another vacation. Okay, great.

881
00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 4: I'm happy to get to know my partner's friends more,

882
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:49,279
Speaker 4: and I'm a girl too, so it should be chill.

883
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:53,520
Speaker 4: Prior to the trip, Lauren booked a rental minivan to

884
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 4: accommodate our large group with the girl's consent. That fell through,

885
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:00,600
Speaker 4: and another girl took it upon herself to book an

886
00:44:00,680 --> 00:44:04,799
Speaker 4: alternate minivan without anyone else's input. A heads up would

887
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:08,319
Speaker 4: have been cool, but no big deal. Airport, Lauren and

888
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,560
Speaker 4: I made it to the destination airport on time. Turns

889
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 4: out the rest of the group's plane was many hours

890
00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:18,360
Speaker 4: delayed and re routed. They informed us that they modified

891
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,839
Speaker 4: the rental car to a smaller vehicle for just their

892
00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:24,280
Speaker 4: group and suggested we get our own. We had asked

893
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:26,680
Speaker 4: them to change it back and said we prefer to

894
00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:30,960
Speaker 4: wait for them to only have one car. Radio silence

895
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:35,879
Speaker 4: after that, Ahhhh, the classic. We asked for updates, but

896
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 4: nobody responded for hours. At this point, we have no

897
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:43,359
Speaker 4: clue where in America they are no eta, no clue

898
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:47,480
Speaker 4: when they would arrive, just nothing. Our names are not

899
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 4: on the hotel slash car reservations, so we have nowhere

900
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:54,720
Speaker 4: to go. We are forced to buy gross overpriced airport

901
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 4: food and lay on benches, which is super painful for

902
00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 4: me as I have a disability related to to my

903
00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:03,360
Speaker 4: hips and spine. We both had a bit of a

904
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 4: meltdown from the stress. Eleven hours later, eleven hours they

905
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 4: show up at nine thirty pm. We've all been up

906
00:45:13,080 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 4: since two am, so we give each other grace and

907
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 4: go to bed. No more minivans are available, so we

908
00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 4: have to pile into a crappy work pickup truck with

909
00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 4: no leg room, super cramped. Nobody mentioned this obvious fact

910
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 4: and we moved on. I'm just thankful we're getting out

911
00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 4: of the airport at this point groceries. While we waited

912
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 4: at the airport and they waited for their next flight,

913
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:38,280
Speaker 4: I asked to put our Walmart grocery order through for pickup,

914
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:41,840
Speaker 4: containing the list we all created together last week and

915
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 4: agreed upon. We previously agreed this made sense overall when

916
00:45:46,040 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 4: they all admitted that overspending is a historical issue on

917
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:52,839
Speaker 4: these strips, plus it'd be faster and less stressful given

918
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:58,080
Speaker 4: their plane delays. Nope, huge pushback. Everyone hates Walmart. No

919
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 4: one likes anything on the list. They don't I don't

920
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 4: want sourdough, brie or cold brew and want to go

921
00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 4: to a store the next morning instead. I didn't push it.

922
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 4: I understand they were very overwhelmed and frustrated from the

923
00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:14,520
Speaker 4: travel issues and agreed. Next morning, I hear them making

924
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 4: a list to go to the all natural, all organic

925
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 4: grocery store. I almost exploded listening to them make an

926
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:29,360
Speaker 4: identical list to last night, including the sourdough, bris, cold brew,

927
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 4: and other food they literally didn't want.

928
00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 5: Anoying, Lauren and I went to the pool while they

929
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:42,319
Speaker 5: shopped for three hours and spent almost three hundred and

930
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 5: fifty dollars double what Walmart would have been.

931
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:49,040
Speaker 4: That's their choice, so we just let it go. Days

932
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:55,600
Speaker 4: one through four things progressively got worse. We did river rafting, thrifted,

933
00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:59,280
Speaker 4: went to the beach ate fun due but nobody is smiling.

934
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:03,280
Speaker 4: There's lots of silence and were all avoiding eye contact.

935
00:47:03,680 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 4: They opted to go to a coffee shop every morning

936
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:09,760
Speaker 4: for breakfast instead of eating the groceries they all huddled

937
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:12,359
Speaker 4: in one bedroom to hang out, or left for long

938
00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:16,000
Speaker 4: periods of time without communicating. They got offended when we

939
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 4: opted to eat sandwiches in the hotel room rather than

940
00:47:18,719 --> 00:47:21,520
Speaker 4: go out for lunch. We had planned to drive to

941
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:23,840
Speaker 4: a spot to watch the sunset as a group, but

942
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:27,239
Speaker 4: they went without us because they didn't think we would

943
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:30,279
Speaker 4: want to come that one really hurt night.

944
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,400
Speaker 2: That's so crazy that they're like, yeah, sunsets. We just

945
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:36,200
Speaker 2: thought you guys didn't like yeah, like beauty of.

946
00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:39,680
Speaker 4: The world, right, you don't want to see that night four.

947
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:44,600
Speaker 4: Lauren was getting really upset, having anxiety about this group interaction.

948
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 4: She set up a time to talk to her best

949
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:50,839
Speaker 4: friend Sally privately one on one. It finally came out

950
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:54,400
Speaker 4: that Sally had been brooding slash upset about many things,

951
00:47:54,880 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 4: the biggest being that she and the other girls never

952
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:01,359
Speaker 4: wanted any partners me to come on the trip but

953
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:03,959
Speaker 4: didn't bring it up, and they're upset that I'm here.

954
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 4: They don't feel like they can be themselves. Mind you,

955
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 4: I'm a naturally quiet person. I've been going with the

956
00:48:10,680 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 4: flow this whole time and letting these issues slide. At

957
00:48:14,760 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 4: the end of the convo, Sally said that for her

958
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:19,959
Speaker 4: and the other girl's comfort, Lauren and I should leave

959
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 4: in the morning. Lauren expressed concern that we might not

960
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:25,960
Speaker 4: be able to do that because we're in a remote area,

961
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:31,080
Speaker 4: transportation is limited and hotels are really expensive, and uber

962
00:48:31,120 --> 00:48:34,000
Speaker 4: from Tahoe to Reno is one hundred and thirty dollars.

963
00:48:34,160 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 4: Hotels are one hundred and fifty a night, and we

964
00:48:37,120 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 4: have two nights to go. Changing flights would be four

965
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:44,320
Speaker 4: hundred dollars each, so that's off the table. Then Sally

966
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 4: said she would send Lauren five hundred dollars for her

967
00:48:46,520 --> 00:48:48,960
Speaker 4: to figure it out and leave in the morning, and

968
00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:52,799
Speaker 4: she literally did. She sent us five hundred dollars just

969
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:53,719
Speaker 4: so we would leave.

970
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:58,960
Speaker 2: That's an end because what because you're just like a couple.

971
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, what is it about a.

972
00:49:01,880 --> 00:49:05,239
Speaker 2: Partner being there that prevents you from just being yourselves?

973
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,200
Speaker 4: You should have said you didn't want partners before she

974
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 4: came on the trip. So we booked our last two

975
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 4: nights at a hotel and left this morning. We're okay now,

976
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:16,879
Speaker 4: but I'm still pretty shocked that we got punted out

977
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:20,799
Speaker 4: by Lauren's best friend and baffled that she wanted us

978
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:24,359
Speaker 4: to leave that bad. Totally unwilling to work this out.

979
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 4: Call me crazy, but a little communication would have gone

980
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:31,680
Speaker 4: a long way. Here? Am I overreacting? We have an

981
00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:36,280
Speaker 4: edit to add the invitation. All communication was through Lauren.

982
00:49:36,600 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 4: The logistics were discussed via FaceTime call because flights needed

983
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:43,760
Speaker 4: to be coordinated. Lauren and I were flying from another vacation,

984
00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 4: so the topic of my attendance arose, and the girls

985
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:51,319
Speaker 4: enthusiastically stated that I should join. Lauren followed up with

986
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:53,440
Speaker 4: a text a few days later to double check on

987
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,879
Speaker 4: this and to give them an opportunity to share any

988
00:49:55,920 --> 00:50:00,200
Speaker 4: concerns about my attendance, and was again met with with

989
00:50:00,400 --> 00:50:06,360
Speaker 4: positivity from everyone, including Sally, who owns the timeshare and

990
00:50:06,400 --> 00:50:09,360
Speaker 4: would have final say. All they had to say was

991
00:50:09,520 --> 00:50:11,879
Speaker 4: we want this trip to be just for friends. Let's

992
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:15,520
Speaker 4: not bring partners this time. I'd be totally respectful and

993
00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 4: would be happy to back off, fly home alone and

994
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 4: Lauren can do her thing in Tahoe with her friends.

995
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,239
Speaker 4: But nothing of the sort was said or hinted at.

996
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:28,040
Speaker 4: I understand people have a hard time saying no and

997
00:50:28,080 --> 00:50:31,319
Speaker 4: this would be uncomfortable to communicate, but they are adults.

998
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:34,439
Speaker 4: This is Sally's trip, and if she felt that someone

999
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:37,480
Speaker 4: should not attend, it is her responsibility to say so.

1000
00:50:38,239 --> 00:50:40,760
Speaker 4: Why did I choose to wait eleven hours at the airport?

1001
00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:44,760
Speaker 4: Not a great answer, but sunk cost fallacy. The first

1002
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 4: and only communication said they'd arrive in a couple hours,

1003
00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,440
Speaker 4: so we held out. We texted and called asking for

1004
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 4: additional updates eta flight number, but didn't receive any responses,

1005
00:50:56,719 --> 00:50:59,799
Speaker 4: and so they showed up at baggage claim eleven hours later.

1006
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:04,320
Speaker 4: Upon their arrival, we learned the delays had doubled and

1007
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:07,640
Speaker 4: they had been re routed with an unexpected stopover in

1008
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 4: a random city. We had no idea it would be

1009
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 4: eleven hours. If I had, we definitely would have figured

1010
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 4: out an alternate plan for the day. Also, we had

1011
00:51:17,280 --> 00:51:20,080
Speaker 4: two large suitcases that would be tough to drag to

1012
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 4: another location, and I use forearm crushes to walk, which

1013
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:27,719
Speaker 4: makes the suitcases more of an issue. Not saying it

1014
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:32,520
Speaker 4: couldn't be done, but it wouldn't be easy. Personality clashes.

1015
00:51:33,280 --> 00:51:38,640
Speaker 4: I grossly underestimated how much personalities slash lifestyle preferences would

1016
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 4: clash on this trip. I spend my free time laying

1017
00:51:41,840 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 4: in the grass and listening to records with a cat

1018
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:47,320
Speaker 4: on my lap. I like things cheap, clean and quiet.

1019
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:50,440
Speaker 4: I'm a textbook virgo, organized and straightforward.

1020
00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 3: Sounds like the dree.

1021
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,640
Speaker 4: My idea of a great vacation is camping in the

1022
00:51:56,640 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 4: middle of nowhere with some mushrooms. These are my ami aries,

1023
00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:05,120
Speaker 4: girls with designer purses who are very loud, spontaneous, and outgoing.

1024
00:52:05,840 --> 00:52:09,200
Speaker 4: They go places just for the photos and fluctuate between

1025
00:52:09,239 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 4: cross faded and impulsive. Lauren can go either way and

1026
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 4: tends to follow the group, but she prefers a more

1027
00:52:16,040 --> 00:52:19,960
Speaker 4: settled slash quiet life, hence why we're together. These women

1028
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,640
Speaker 4: were literally all of Sally's bridal party. The group has

1029
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:26,719
Speaker 4: lots of history. They are not people i'd pursue a

1030
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:30,400
Speaker 4: friendship with on my own. I am their friend's girlfriend,

1031
00:52:30,640 --> 00:52:33,640
Speaker 4: not their friend. I knew we'd differ on a lot

1032
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 4: of things, but I didn't anticipate how big of a

1033
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 4: clash it would create.

1034
00:52:37,440 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 2: Got a little bit more but crazy that they're like,

1035
00:52:40,719 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 2: it's friends only. Maybe try making friends with one of

1036
00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:46,799
Speaker 2: your best friend's partners.

1037
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,319
Speaker 4: Also, though they didn't say it was friends only, they

1038
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:51,719
Speaker 4: were asked multiple times if she could come, and they

1039
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 4: were like.

1040
00:52:52,080 --> 00:52:57,280
Speaker 2: Of course, yeah, yeah, but even that excuse is like, yeah,

1041
00:52:57,360 --> 00:52:59,480
Speaker 2: how are you as adults not able to just like

1042
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:05,280
Speaker 2: make friends with your part You're like your friend's partner. Like, yeah,

1043
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:07,640
Speaker 2: I get it, maybe the vibes are different, but like.

1044
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 4: You should at least be able to be friends. I

1045
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 4: can understand them being like, hey, don't come on this

1046
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:14,840
Speaker 4: girl's trip that we do every year. But then you

1047
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,759
Speaker 4: like they need to pull their big boy pants up

1048
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 4: and say that flat out not let you get to

1049
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:22,239
Speaker 4: the trip and then send you home. Why am I

1050
00:53:22,320 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 4: so frugal? Yes, we are dinks. About fifty percent of

1051
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,120
Speaker 4: our income goes to retirement slash savings, and we shop

1052
00:53:29,160 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 4: at the cheapest grocery store in town so that we

1053
00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:35,839
Speaker 4: can afford vacations on school breaks. We love to road trip,

1054
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 4: tent camp, and hang with family. We spend almost all

1055
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 4: of our six week vacation out of town ten night

1056
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:45,839
Speaker 4: camping slash road trip, two weeks with family, one week

1057
00:53:45,880 --> 00:53:49,239
Speaker 4: in DC, and this one week Tahoe trip all in

1058
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:52,600
Speaker 4: a row. Oh that's pretty sick. This being the last

1059
00:53:52,600 --> 00:53:54,759
Speaker 4: trip of the summer. We just wanted to chill at

1060
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:58,000
Speaker 4: the pool and eat a pbn J, not blow money

1061
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 4: on horseback. Riding last. Yes, I'm autistic and have been

1062
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:06,440
Speaker 4: professionally diagnosed. Social situations are not my strong suit, and

1063
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 4: I could definitely improve in situational awareness and taking hints.

1064
00:54:10,320 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 4: So maybe this plays a larger role than I realized.

1065
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:16,400
Speaker 4: I didn't originally include this because I didn't want autism

1066
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:19,200
Speaker 4: to be an excuse, because it's not. Thank you for

1067
00:54:19,239 --> 00:54:21,799
Speaker 4: all the comments who told it to me straight. That's

1068
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 4: what I needed all along, And I have learned a

1069
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,719
Speaker 4: lot from all of this. That is the end of that.

1070
00:54:27,440 --> 00:54:29,120
Speaker 3: Well, all you can do is learn.

1071
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I think that Sally and that whole

1072
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:36,200
Speaker 4: group are definitely in the wrong, and it sucks to

1073
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:38,279
Speaker 4: have gone through that and to feel that way. But

1074
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:42,240
Speaker 4: I mean, hopefully you don't. You guys can distance yourself

1075
00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:42,720
Speaker 4: from them.

1076
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:46,840
Speaker 2: Because it's honestly so easy to just be chill, yeah,

1077
00:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,479
Speaker 2: you know, like they could have just been like, oh, well,

1078
00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:53,000
Speaker 2: well it's nice to meet you, like welcome to the trip.

1079
00:54:54,480 --> 00:54:54,719
Speaker 3: You know.

1080
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 2: It didn't have to be this, like we're gonna give

1081
00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:58,759
Speaker 2: you five hundred dollars to.

1082
00:54:58,800 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 3: Get out of here.

1083
00:55:00,080 --> 00:55:00,799
Speaker 4: Ridiculous.

1084
00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:02,759
Speaker 3: I would never recover from that.

1085
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:04,719
Speaker 4: They had two more days left, and none of them

1086
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:06,799
Speaker 4: could just suck it up, no matter how miserable they

1087
00:55:06,840 --> 00:55:07,399
Speaker 4: were like.

1088
00:55:07,719 --> 00:55:10,600
Speaker 3: And what exactly made them so miserable, just like.

1089
00:55:10,560 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 4: They just said, were different.

1090
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:13,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it's crazy.

1091
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:14,640
Speaker 4: No, it was ridiculous.

1092
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 2: If that's anyone's fault, it's not op's fault, it's it's

1093
00:55:18,160 --> 00:55:19,960
Speaker 2: all the other girl's faulty.

1094
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:22,320
Speaker 3: Being like sat.

1095
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 4: Friend side bullies.

1096
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,960
Speaker 3: Yeah crazy Here, it's johnyo Og host Here. We're gonna

1097
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:29,399
Speaker 3: get back to the stories. But he's a quick three

1098
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:31,160
Speaker 3: minute break of ass from our sponsors.

1099
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:34,960
Speaker 2: My friend disrespected me multiple times.

1100
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:36,399
Speaker 3: Now she wants a.

1101
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,800
Speaker 4: Favor, just a simple favor.

1102
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:43,120
Speaker 2: I'm a nineteen year old woman living in Philly, Go birds.

1103
00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:46,359
Speaker 2: I've been emancipated since I was fifteen. Long story short,

1104
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 2: My home life was unstable, and after a year of

1105
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 2: bouncing between couches and school counselors advocating for me, I

1106
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:55,319
Speaker 2: took control of my own life. At sixteen, I got

1107
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:58,719
Speaker 2: full responsibility for my little brother, who's ten now, and

1108
00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:01,800
Speaker 2: I've basically been raising him ever since. And every dollar

1109
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:04,600
Speaker 2: I make supports us both. No parents in the picture,

1110
00:56:04,680 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 2: no family handouts, just grit, prayer, and ambition. And by

1111
00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:12,520
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from user Striking Airline and ninety

1112
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:16,279
Speaker 2: seven hundred on the Charlotte Dobray YouTube subreddit, and if

1113
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,279
Speaker 2: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

1114
00:56:18,400 --> 00:56:21,680
Speaker 2: r slash Okay storytime suburd. I started my own nail

1115
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:25,560
Speaker 2: business two months ago in my house at first. Just recently,

1116
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,880
Speaker 2: I have bought my own studio, not a booth, not

1117
00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:31,400
Speaker 2: a shared space, a full on private studio with branding, licensing,

1118
00:56:31,800 --> 00:56:36,440
Speaker 2: my own chair, booking system, the works. It's small, but clean, cozy,

1119
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:40,040
Speaker 2: and esthetically me. I saved for nearly a year from

1120
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:45,000
Speaker 2: Applebee's and little side jobs reselling clothing, etc. I taught

1121
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:48,120
Speaker 2: myself acrylics, worked part time jobs, and built a following

1122
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 2: on TikTok and Instagram. I've had weeks where I make

1123
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 2: one thousand or two thousand in straight appointments, and I'm

1124
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:54,640
Speaker 2: proud of that.

1125
00:56:55,120 --> 00:56:57,520
Speaker 3: My regulars come from all over Philly.

1126
00:56:57,800 --> 00:57:00,440
Speaker 2: Justice get sets by me, and I poured love and

1127
00:57:00,640 --> 00:57:04,520
Speaker 2: everything from the cuticle oil to the Spotify playlist. Now

1128
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:08,400
Speaker 2: enter my maybe former best friend. We'll call her Maya.

1129
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:11,680
Speaker 2: We've been friends since the end of eighth grade. I

1130
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:13,799
Speaker 2: used to stay over at her place when things got

1131
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:17,080
Speaker 2: bad at my place. We bonded hard and fast, and

1132
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:21,400
Speaker 2: for years she's been my twin. My best friend lived

1133
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:24,240
Speaker 2: in Mercer, so Maya was one of the few I

1134
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:28,360
Speaker 2: could rely on. We'd talk on FaceTime till three am,

1135
00:57:28,440 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 2: made vision boards together, cried over boys together.

1136
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:33,920
Speaker 3: She even helped me design the logo for my studio.

1137
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:37,200
Speaker 3: It's always been ride or die until recently.

1138
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 2: Back in April, I started planning a birthday trip for

1139
00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:42,840
Speaker 2: my twentieth I turned twenty this November and wanted to

1140
00:57:42,840 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 2: celebrate somewhere fun.

1141
00:57:44,360 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 3: After years of surviving, I finally had the ability to

1142
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:47,959
Speaker 3: actually live.

1143
00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,400
Speaker 2: I picked Miami, locked down the Airbnb, booked my flight,

1144
00:57:51,480 --> 00:57:55,720
Speaker 2: and created a full itinerary with spot as, jet, ski options,

1145
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:59,120
Speaker 2: rooftop dinners, and booked activities. It was going to be

1146
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:02,920
Speaker 2: five girls, including Maya, and I fronted the entire deposit

1147
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:05,720
Speaker 2: under the agreement that they'd pay me back in installments.

1148
00:58:06,120 --> 00:58:08,959
Speaker 2: Maya swore she was good for it, but in late May,

1149
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 2: Maya started getting close with a girl named liv A

1150
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:14,120
Speaker 2: social media battie.

1151
00:58:13,920 --> 00:58:18,040
Speaker 3: As Live refers to herself who just screams messy.

1152
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:22,680
Speaker 2: Suddenly she's posting cryptic captions, going on weekday brunches and

1153
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:25,960
Speaker 2: calling Live her twin flame. I didn't care at first,

1154
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:31,120
Speaker 2: friends grow whatever, but she started brushing me off, skipping

1155
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:34,600
Speaker 2: our calls, acting shady about the trip. Anytime I asked

1156
00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:38,240
Speaker 2: if she'd sent her portion for the airbnb, it was always, oh,

1157
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 2: I'll zellya next week.

1158
00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:42,160
Speaker 3: Now I'm waiting for a brand deal to clear.

1159
00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:46,160
Speaker 2: Two weeks ago I opened Instagram and Maya's in Miami

1160
00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:51,680
Speaker 2: at the same airbnb, same activities with live. Oh, that's

1161
00:58:52,080 --> 00:58:55,400
Speaker 2: so frustrating, especially at like nineteen.

1162
00:58:55,720 --> 00:58:58,040
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, no, like the mad.

1163
00:58:57,600 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, It's like at this point in my life, I'm like,

1164
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:02,840
Speaker 2: I you do you you can have your best friend.

1165
00:59:02,880 --> 00:59:05,520
Speaker 3: It would be whoever you want. I guess you goofy.

1166
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 3: That was a goofy way to go about.

1167
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 4: That, You silly goofy girl.

1168
00:59:08,920 --> 00:59:09,120
Speaker 5: Man.

1169
00:59:09,160 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 3: At nineteen, I would be so deeply.

1170
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:12,440
Speaker 1: Hurt by this.

1171
00:59:13,560 --> 00:59:15,440
Speaker 4: I think I'd still be pretty hurt now. I just

1172
00:59:15,440 --> 00:59:17,560
Speaker 4: would have a much different attitude about like, like that

1173
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:18,640
Speaker 4: would just be the end of that.

1174
00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:21,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. It's like I wouldn't be it wouldn't be

1175
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:24,200
Speaker 2: like this thing. I would be like tormented over. It'd

1176
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:26,840
Speaker 2: be like, oh, okay, well, I mean that sucks, but

1177
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:29,360
Speaker 2: and clearly this is like, I feel like this is

1178
00:59:29,440 --> 00:59:32,680
Speaker 2: live trying to somehow flex like, Oh, I'm the better

1179
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:34,920
Speaker 2: I'm the cooler friend, Like you definitely want to be

1180
00:59:34,920 --> 00:59:35,600
Speaker 2: best friends than me.

1181
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:39,120
Speaker 4: I wonder. Yeah, yeah, she see that, and she's.

1182
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:41,800
Speaker 2: Got a little more money, a little more notoriety, and

1183
00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:45,640
Speaker 2: your friend is shallow. She posted a boomerang clinking glasses

1184
00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:48,920
Speaker 2: on a rooftop bar I literally had in our original itinerary,

1185
00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 2: the one I made. I DMed her asking if this

1186
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:55,040
Speaker 2: was some kind of sick joke, and her reply was, girl,

1187
00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 2: I figured the trip wasn't even happening anymore. You've been

1188
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,520
Speaker 2: focused on your business and I didn't want to pressure

1189
00:59:59,560 --> 01:00:01,760
Speaker 2: you already had planned, so I tagged along.

1190
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:05,320
Speaker 3: Sorry you're mad. Sorry you're mad is crazy.

1191
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:09,200
Speaker 4: That's so you can be. I said, sorry, sorry you're mad,

1192
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 4: it's you. I didn't do anything. Sorry you took offense

1193
01:00:11,640 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 4: to that.

1194
01:00:12,000 --> 01:00:15,840
Speaker 2: Yet when I tell you, my flabbers were gasted then,

1195
01:00:15,920 --> 01:00:17,800
Speaker 2: and I swear to God, I cannot make this up.

1196
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 2: Four days ago, she texted me asking if she can

1197
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:22,560
Speaker 2: use my nail studio to host her new lash brand's

1198
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:26,800
Speaker 2: launch party. Apparently the venue she had fell through last minute,

1199
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:28,880
Speaker 2: and she wanted to do something authentic, com cute.

1200
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 3: She told me your studio would.

1201
01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:33,240
Speaker 2: Be perfect, It'll be super light. I'll clean up after,

1202
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:34,480
Speaker 2: we'll tag your brand too.

1203
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:35,880
Speaker 3: I said no.

1204
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:38,960
Speaker 2: I told her point blank, after the way she handled

1205
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:41,800
Speaker 2: the trip, I no longer felt comfortable offering my space,

1206
01:00:42,120 --> 01:00:46,000
Speaker 2: especially once she had zero interest in supporting Lately. She

1207
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:49,360
Speaker 2: replied with this long paragraph about how she always knew

1208
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 2: I'd switch up once I started making money and that

1209
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 2: I was letting ego and fake business boundaries ruin our sisterhood.

1210
01:00:56,480 --> 01:00:57,800
Speaker 3: What a what a buffoon?

1211
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:01,240
Speaker 4: I don't think that's what ruined your sisterhood. It was

1212
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:03,640
Speaker 4: you going on a trip with Lisz.

1213
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:06,400
Speaker 2: Like, it's crazy that now you're just trying to put

1214
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:11,040
Speaker 2: op down, while will you know exactly what you did

1215
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 2: right now? You're just trying to be like, yeah, your

1216
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:17,200
Speaker 2: success changed you. It's like, will no who you think

1217
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:17,560
Speaker 2: you are?

1218
01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:19,000
Speaker 3: Mind you?

1219
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 2: This is the same sister quote unquote who used to

1220
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:26,080
Speaker 2: ask me for ten dollars to buy press ons before

1221
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:28,600
Speaker 2: I had my studio, The same one who called me

1222
01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:31,880
Speaker 2: crying after her situationship ghosted her and I sent Uber

1223
01:01:31,920 --> 01:01:32,880
Speaker 2: eats to her apartment.

1224
01:01:33,360 --> 01:01:34,920
Speaker 3: Now our mutual friends are split.

1225
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:37,240
Speaker 2: Some say I was petty that I could have just

1226
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 2: let her use the space for two hours. Others, especially

1227
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:42,480
Speaker 2: the ones who've had similar fallouts, say I was way

1228
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:46,680
Speaker 2: too nice even answering her text. So am I the

1229
01:01:46,760 --> 01:01:50,400
Speaker 2: a hole for refusing to let my best friend supposedly

1230
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:54,160
Speaker 2: best friend use the nail studio I built from scratch

1231
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:57,600
Speaker 2: after she hijacked my birthday trip and replaced me Because honestly,

1232
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:01,040
Speaker 2: I'm tired of being the emotionally responsible one while everyone

1233
01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:04,640
Speaker 2: else plays victim when boundaries go up. And to clarify

1234
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:08,200
Speaker 2: some things in an edit, I am licensed. I graduated

1235
01:02:08,320 --> 01:02:12,240
Speaker 2: high school early and went to cosmetology school by the state.

1236
01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:15,360
Speaker 2: If you are emancipated, they pay your schooling and housing.

1237
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:17,920
Speaker 2: The legal age to become a licensed nail tech is

1238
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:21,360
Speaker 2: sixteen in Philly. There are a whole bunch with businesses

1239
01:02:21,400 --> 01:02:24,720
Speaker 2: that age too. It is very much possible for me

1240
01:02:24,760 --> 01:02:27,440
Speaker 2: to be a licensed nail tech. Yes, I did complete

1241
01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:29,520
Speaker 2: my hours, and I found my studio at a cheap price.

1242
01:02:29,800 --> 01:02:31,840
Speaker 3: It wasn't like it was four hundred thousand dollars.

1243
01:02:32,200 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 2: I make a good amount of money and did before

1244
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:37,720
Speaker 2: becoming an official nail tech. Also, back in high school

1245
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:40,760
Speaker 2: is when I started practicing nails. It is possible. Yeah,

1246
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:43,120
Speaker 2: don't listen to all the hater comments op trying to

1247
01:02:43,120 --> 01:02:45,160
Speaker 2: tell you that like this isn't real. Those are just

1248
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:48,479
Speaker 2: people who don't know like that you can like chase

1249
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 2: your dreams and accomplish them.

1250
01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:51,200
Speaker 4: We know your question.

1251
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it is possible.

1252
01:02:54,640 --> 01:02:57,840
Speaker 2: I bought Timu and Amazon sets and materials and started

1253
01:02:57,880 --> 01:03:01,000
Speaker 2: practicing on my friends. This was around early tenth grade.

1254
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:04,200
Speaker 2: I took pictures and started promoting myself. I'm also really

1255
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:06,280
Speaker 2: good at art, so the only part I had to

1256
01:03:06,360 --> 01:03:08,240
Speaker 2: master was the acrylic, which I did.

1257
01:03:08,120 --> 01:03:08,960
Speaker 3: In eleventh grade.

1258
01:03:09,360 --> 01:03:12,120
Speaker 2: I did go and learn more things in cosmetology school.

1259
01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:14,120
Speaker 2: You can never know enough, and I only knew how

1260
01:03:14,160 --> 01:03:17,120
Speaker 2: to do certain things. I completed my hours and eventually

1261
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:19,720
Speaker 2: got my certification, which was a little over three months ago,

1262
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:21,400
Speaker 2: and officially started my business.

1263
01:03:21,760 --> 01:03:22,640
Speaker 3: And we have an update.

1264
01:03:24,280 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 4: I mean, Garley, I don't I do nothing that you

1265
01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:29,360
Speaker 4: are in any way wrong for not letting her into

1266
01:03:29,400 --> 01:03:30,120
Speaker 4: your nail studio.

1267
01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:34,640
Speaker 6: She totally like flaked or tried to like outdo your

1268
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:38,760
Speaker 6: birthday trip basically, and then gave a terrible apology if

1269
01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:41,160
Speaker 6: you won't even call it that, And I was like, hey,

1270
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:41,680
Speaker 6: can we.

1271
01:03:41,760 --> 01:03:45,920
Speaker 4: Like use your space first? No? Also, did she ever

1272
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:47,400
Speaker 4: even pay you for your trip?

1273
01:03:47,600 --> 01:03:49,200
Speaker 3: Exactly? I would have sent her.

1274
01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:51,120
Speaker 2: I'd be like, oh, if you want to use my space,

1275
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:54,360
Speaker 2: that's gonna be like, however much the trip cost plus

1276
01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:54,920
Speaker 2: like a little.

1277
01:03:54,720 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 3: Extron job plus.

1278
01:03:55,680 --> 01:03:58,680
Speaker 2: I'm for sure yeah, And she'd be like, what you're

1279
01:03:58,680 --> 01:03:59,320
Speaker 2: gonna make me pay?

1280
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:02,720
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, yeah. This is a business update.

1281
01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:05,800
Speaker 2: After Maya texted to asking to use my studio for

1282
01:04:05,800 --> 01:04:08,320
Speaker 2: her Lash brand launch after ditching me for the Miami

1283
01:04:08,320 --> 01:04:11,400
Speaker 2: trip I planned. I told her I wasn't comfortable with it.

1284
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:14,000
Speaker 2: I didn't yell or drag her. I just calmly said no,

1285
01:04:14,760 --> 01:04:17,240
Speaker 2: and she didn't take it very well. I called her

1286
01:04:17,320 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 2: yesterday and asked her to meet with me later on

1287
01:04:19,760 --> 01:04:22,280
Speaker 2: at a cafe. When we did meet and her Lash

1288
01:04:22,320 --> 01:04:24,280
Speaker 2: event came up, she hit me with a gilt trip.

1289
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:26,800
Speaker 2: I thought you'd support me like I've.

1290
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:28,160
Speaker 3: Always supported you.

1291
01:04:28,160 --> 01:04:30,360
Speaker 2: You're really gonna let money come between us. It's just

1292
01:04:30,400 --> 01:04:33,560
Speaker 2: a few hours. I'll clean up after I let her talk,

1293
01:04:33,880 --> 01:04:36,360
Speaker 2: and then I said, if you want to use the studio,

1294
01:04:36,480 --> 01:04:38,520
Speaker 2: it's seven hundred and fifty dollars for the evening plus

1295
01:04:38,520 --> 01:04:39,960
Speaker 2: a two hundred dollars cleaning deposit.

1296
01:04:40,240 --> 01:04:41,280
Speaker 3: That's my standard rate.

1297
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:44,600
Speaker 2: I don't do favors through guilt. That's cheaper than what

1298
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:46,320
Speaker 2: her share of the Miami trip was.

1299
01:04:46,960 --> 01:04:48,000
Speaker 3: She was stunned.

1300
01:04:48,520 --> 01:04:53,920
Speaker 2: Tried to play well, wait, nine hundred and fifty day, what.

1301
01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:56,960
Speaker 3: That's an expensive lot.

1302
01:04:57,360 --> 01:05:00,200
Speaker 2: And since your friend keeps harping on this money thing,

1303
01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:02,520
Speaker 2: I feel like she just doesn't want to say she

1304
01:05:02,600 --> 01:05:05,240
Speaker 2: can't afford to go on your Miami trip, and she

1305
01:05:05,280 --> 01:05:07,720
Speaker 2: went with Live because she was more able to pay

1306
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:12,040
Speaker 2: for things. That's just my gut feeling here. She was

1307
01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:14,720
Speaker 2: stunned and tried to play it off like I was joking.

1308
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:17,760
Speaker 2: Then she got defensive, said I was acting brand new

1309
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:20,320
Speaker 2: since my business started doing well. That I used to

1310
01:05:20,400 --> 01:05:22,880
Speaker 2: be humble, and I wouldn't even have the studio if

1311
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:25,240
Speaker 2: it weren't for her helping with that logo.

1312
01:05:25,320 --> 01:05:28,200
Speaker 3: I didn't take debit. I just said, this is a business.

1313
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:30,120
Speaker 2: You want to host a brand launch and a space

1314
01:05:30,160 --> 01:05:33,000
Speaker 2: I own that I built from scratch. You pay for it,

1315
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:35,760
Speaker 2: just like anyone else would. She tried to negotiate and

1316
01:05:35,840 --> 01:05:38,600
Speaker 2: offered one hundred dollars in total. Said she tagged me

1317
01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:41,480
Speaker 2: on Instagram and maybe bring in new clients. I told

1318
01:05:41,480 --> 01:05:44,480
Speaker 2: her exposure doesn't pay rent. She said she'd think about it,

1319
01:05:44,800 --> 01:05:48,080
Speaker 2: so I left, leaving her with the bill. Later that night,

1320
01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:51,480
Speaker 2: she texted, Okay, I'll pay the full amount. Send the contract.

1321
01:05:52,120 --> 01:05:56,600
Speaker 2: I replied, thanks, that's it, no emoji, no extra words,

1322
01:05:56,760 --> 01:05:57,680
Speaker 2: just thanks.

1323
01:05:57,440 --> 01:06:00,520
Speaker 3: Because here's the truth. Even though I'm sending it on track,

1324
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:01,960
Speaker 3: she's not getting the space.

1325
01:06:02,880 --> 01:06:05,280
Speaker 4: Ooh, what does that mean?

1326
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:09,000
Speaker 2: She finally respected the value of what I built, but

1327
01:06:09,000 --> 01:06:11,600
Speaker 2: that doesn't mean she's entitled to it. I didn't need

1328
01:06:11,640 --> 01:06:14,240
Speaker 2: to argue, I didn't need to explain myself again. I

1329
01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:17,240
Speaker 2: just needed her to understand that this studio isn't a favor.

1330
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:19,720
Speaker 2: It's not a backdrop for someone who only sees my

1331
01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:21,560
Speaker 2: worth when it benefits her.

1332
01:06:23,040 --> 01:06:25,120
Speaker 3: It's the first thing I've ever.

1333
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:27,360
Speaker 2: Owned that's truly mine, and I'm not handing it over

1334
01:06:27,400 --> 01:06:29,680
Speaker 2: to someone who treated me like an afterthought.

1335
01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:33,040
Speaker 3: I'm kind of I'm turning. Okay, I'm turning on both

1336
01:06:33,040 --> 01:06:33,280
Speaker 3: of them.

1337
01:06:33,520 --> 01:06:36,960
Speaker 4: You're about to send her a contract, let her sign it,

1338
01:06:37,120 --> 01:06:39,760
Speaker 4: and take any amount of money, and then block her

1339
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:42,440
Speaker 4: from this from the space. I think even getting so

1340
01:06:42,520 --> 01:06:46,400
Speaker 4: far as having her sign something. I'm turning like this

1341
01:06:46,640 --> 01:06:50,320
Speaker 4: is way too much for her just going on another trip, Yeah,

1342
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:52,600
Speaker 4: when she was potentially still planning to go to your

1343
01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:54,840
Speaker 4: birthday trip. Like, yeah, was it a slap in the

1344
01:06:54,880 --> 01:06:58,200
Speaker 4: face for sure, but like you're really.

1345
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:03,920
Speaker 2: Taking this far yeah, and also probably opening yourself up

1346
01:07:03,960 --> 01:07:06,800
Speaker 2: to if you send her a legit contract and she

1347
01:07:06,920 --> 01:07:10,400
Speaker 2: signs it, like you're opening yourself up to legal repercussions.

1348
01:07:10,440 --> 01:07:12,439
Speaker 4: And also don't you want the money? That's a lot

1349
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:12,960
Speaker 4: of money.

1350
01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:15,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's a solid amount for an evening

1351
01:07:16,080 --> 01:07:17,040
Speaker 3: for a twenty year old.

1352
01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:20,600
Speaker 2: And it's like, I think, you know, a lot of

1353
01:07:20,600 --> 01:07:23,680
Speaker 2: this is just framed around like because we're nineteen or twenty.

1354
01:07:23,760 --> 01:07:26,080
Speaker 3: It's like that's and it's and it's you know, it hurt,

1355
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:27,720
Speaker 3: but that's so much money.

1356
01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:31,520
Speaker 2: The OP is clearly very hurt, yeah, and is just

1357
01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:35,600
Speaker 2: fully operating from a place of I want justice from

1358
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:38,880
Speaker 2: my hurt feelings. I'm turning twenty in November. I've been

1359
01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:41,200
Speaker 2: raising my little brother since he was born. I've had

1360
01:07:41,240 --> 01:07:44,000
Speaker 2: weeks where I make more than people twice my age.

1361
01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:46,680
Speaker 2: I've survived things Maya couldn't even imagine, and now that

1362
01:07:46,760 --> 01:07:49,800
Speaker 2: I finally have peace, I'm protecting it so yeah, she

1363
01:07:49,880 --> 01:07:52,240
Speaker 2: agreed to pay, but she's not getting the space, and

1364
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:56,200
Speaker 2: I'm not the ale. I'm just done being convenient. Also,

1365
01:07:56,360 --> 01:07:59,240
Speaker 2: thank you to a user for giving me the idea

1366
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:01,840
Speaker 2: to let her pay. So when the event day happens

1367
01:08:01,880 --> 01:08:04,040
Speaker 2: and she sees I'm with a client with nothing set up,

1368
01:08:04,040 --> 01:08:06,000
Speaker 2: I can say, girl, I thought the event wasn't happening,

1369
01:08:06,000 --> 01:08:07,200
Speaker 2: so I decided to take a client.

1370
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:11,200
Speaker 4: Huh huh, it's just what do you mean that's a contract?

1371
01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:15,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're just being you're being You're being very You.

1372
01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:18,479
Speaker 4: Can't do that. You you should not do that against it.

1373
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:20,240
Speaker 3: Okay, there's it.

1374
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:23,680
Speaker 2: I didn't sign the contract, and in print before the

1375
01:08:23,720 --> 01:08:26,840
Speaker 2: signature it says I'm acknowledging that I will not actually

1376
01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:28,680
Speaker 2: be getting the space to use, and I consent to

1377
01:08:28,720 --> 01:08:30,599
Speaker 2: paying back every penny I owe from borrowing.

1378
01:08:31,160 --> 01:08:32,839
Speaker 3: It is not It is also not small.

1379
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 2: It's very readable, So if she signed, she either agrees

1380
01:08:36,520 --> 01:08:37,759
Speaker 2: or just didn't read it, and it's.

1381
01:08:37,600 --> 01:08:38,280
Speaker 3: Not my problem.

1382
01:08:38,520 --> 01:08:41,320
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure legally you would get screwed for a

1383
01:08:41,920 --> 01:08:47,400
Speaker 2: your faith contract. You can't just put like and also,

1384
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:51,320
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give op all of my money like and

1385
01:08:51,360 --> 01:08:52,719
Speaker 2: then be your honors.

1386
01:08:52,760 --> 01:08:54,439
Speaker 3: She signed the contract.

1387
01:08:54,040 --> 01:08:55,280
Speaker 4: Full deceit right there.

1388
01:08:55,520 --> 01:08:58,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're terrible, that's yeah, I would. I hope a

1389
01:08:58,479 --> 01:08:59,120
Speaker 3: comment here.

1390
01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:03,080
Speaker 2: I hope this comment sets the record straight on what

1391
01:09:03,120 --> 01:09:03,840
Speaker 2: we should be doing.

1392
01:09:04,400 --> 01:09:06,960
Speaker 3: Comme at one. I'm here after your update about.

1393
01:09:06,800 --> 01:09:10,120
Speaker 2: The contract not really being a rental contract but being

1394
01:09:10,200 --> 01:09:13,200
Speaker 2: a payment agreement. And I'm telling you do not do

1395
01:09:13,400 --> 01:09:17,160
Speaker 2: this legally. You may, and I do mean may not

1396
01:09:17,240 --> 01:09:19,680
Speaker 2: get in trouble, but there will be all kinds of

1397
01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:22,280
Speaker 2: negative fallout for the business you've worked so hard to

1398
01:09:22,280 --> 01:09:24,959
Speaker 2: build up. You'll get a bad reputation in the community

1399
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:27,080
Speaker 2: that will have a negative impact on it. She may

1400
01:09:27,080 --> 01:09:29,240
Speaker 2: also be able to convince a judge that the signed

1401
01:09:29,240 --> 01:09:32,400
Speaker 2: contract to pay was completely separate from a verbal contract

1402
01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:35,080
Speaker 2: to rent your space for your own peace of mind

1403
01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:37,559
Speaker 2: and for the future of your business. Just tell her

1404
01:09:37,560 --> 01:09:39,600
Speaker 2: you've changed your mind and let it go before you

1405
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:40,880
Speaker 2: were revenge comes back to.

1406
01:09:40,840 --> 01:09:44,960
Speaker 3: Bite you in the butt. Or take her freaking money

1407
01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:47,760
Speaker 3: and ignore her after.

1408
01:09:48,360 --> 01:09:51,519
Speaker 4: Let her use the space. Take the money, yes, be

1409
01:09:51,600 --> 01:09:52,080
Speaker 4: done with her.

1410
01:09:52,320 --> 01:09:56,360
Speaker 2: Take the nine hundred and fifty dollars she's willing to

1411
01:09:56,400 --> 01:09:59,400
Speaker 2: pay to use the space for an evening, and then

1412
01:09:59,479 --> 01:10:01,720
Speaker 2: let her you and use that money to do.

1413
01:10:01,720 --> 01:10:03,960
Speaker 4: Something great, get a new nail set or something new

1414
01:10:04,040 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 4: nail kit.

1415
01:10:04,760 --> 01:10:08,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't be vindictive. Yeah, you're only hurting yourself. Also,

1416
01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:12,040
Speaker 2: your trip isn't until November. Just because she went and

1417
01:10:12,080 --> 01:10:13,800
Speaker 2: did all the things you were planning doesn't mean she

1418
01:10:13,840 --> 01:10:16,120
Speaker 2: stole your trip or anything. Other people get to do

1419
01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:19,360
Speaker 2: fun things too. Comment to says, the difference is she

1420
01:10:19,360 --> 01:10:21,559
Speaker 2: didn't sign a legally binding contract to go on your

1421
01:10:21,600 --> 01:10:24,200
Speaker 2: trip with you. If you sign the contract in ever over,

1422
01:10:24,560 --> 01:10:26,840
Speaker 2: she can sue you and that is the end of

1423
01:10:26,840 --> 01:10:27,320
Speaker 2: that story.

1424
01:10:27,439 --> 01:10:29,559
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh my god, I want to know.

1425
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:31,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the I'm sure.

1426
01:10:31,439 --> 01:10:34,800
Speaker 2: I'm sure Op read those comments and was like all right,

1427
01:10:34,840 --> 01:10:38,000
Speaker 2: Because Op seems to be very no nonsense about her business.

1428
01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:40,240
Speaker 2: Maybe she really just thought like, well, if I make

1429
01:10:40,280 --> 01:10:42,519
Speaker 2: the contract about this, I can be okay with it.

1430
01:10:42,600 --> 01:10:45,000
Speaker 4: I mean, she also immediately took that advice from one

1431
01:10:45,080 --> 01:10:46,599
Speaker 4: comment or to make a fake contract.

1432
01:10:46,680 --> 01:10:49,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's like she's in the hurt stage. She's

1433
01:10:49,479 --> 01:10:50,760
Speaker 2: in the oof my feelings.

1434
01:10:51,960 --> 01:10:52,519
Speaker 4: Don't do it.

1435
01:10:52,720 --> 01:10:57,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't do that. It would be a terrible, terrible mistake.