1 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: So I've been going through it a little bit. 2 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:21,079 Speaker 2: I have been in this place of Yes Adventure era, 3 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 2: and I do get ahead of my skis because I 4 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 2: am an insular person. I think because I'm so outspoken 5 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 2: and because I'm wacky, and because I can be like 6 00:00:30,560 --> 00:00:34,360 Speaker 2: a I love Lucy character, I think people confuse that 7 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:38,279 Speaker 2: with me being very social. And I don't know if 8 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:40,280 Speaker 2: I ever was social. And I've heard this thing with 9 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,599 Speaker 2: certain people where they are truly an introvert that sort 10 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:48,199 Speaker 2: of presents as an extrovert. And I don't know if 11 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 2: I'm an introvert. That's insane, but I'm insular. I'm a 12 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 2: person that's alone ninety five percent. 13 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:56,840 Speaker 1: Of the time. 14 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 2: Like if I'm out with my daughter, I'm with my friends. 15 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 2: When I make when I make the plan and take 16 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 2: the initiative, and I do do things for work and 17 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:09,759 Speaker 2: they're good for me because it means I'm getting out 18 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:12,039 Speaker 2: and getting dressed, et cetera. But this is something that's 19 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:13,960 Speaker 2: been going on since I was in my twenties. I 20 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 2: remember being in my studio apartment and having to drag 21 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 2: myself to get dressed and to go to a date 22 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 2: or to go out to a club or to go 23 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 2: out with friends, and I would make the plans because 24 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 2: I wanted to be active and social, and I would 25 00:01:27,240 --> 00:01:28,800 Speaker 2: make the plans and then when they came, I would 26 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 2: start to get massive anxiety and want to find ways 27 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,600 Speaker 2: to cancel when the person was hedging up, like it's fine, 28 00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:35,040 Speaker 2: no problem, when we could do it another time. And 29 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,039 Speaker 2: I'm that way to this day. I'm like waiting and 30 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:39,039 Speaker 2: wanting someone to cancel and look for a reason we 31 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 2: don't have to do it. So it's just who I am. 32 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 2: And my mother was that way. And Kelly Rippa once 33 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 2: told me that it's genetic. And my friend Alex Cohen 34 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,160 Speaker 2: said to me that there's this percentage of people that 35 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,000 Speaker 2: I don't know if she said it was like ten 36 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,560 Speaker 2: percent of people that like really really I forgot what 37 00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 2: she said. She named it something or called it something, 38 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 2: but like that really really have that thing where they 39 00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:06,360 Speaker 2: just it's really hard to get out, like they're really. 40 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 1: Just better at home. And I'm like that. 41 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:11,920 Speaker 2: So now when I enter my adventure era and I 42 00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:14,919 Speaker 2: intellectually decide I'm going to go out more and meet 43 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:17,800 Speaker 2: people more in date, et cetera. That's what I've said 44 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,400 Speaker 2: to myself. But the actuality of that is extremely activating 45 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 2: for me, and I get ahead of myself because I 46 00:02:23,720 --> 00:02:26,480 Speaker 2: think I can handle it now. Couple that with work 47 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 2: and in my work end in my personal life as 48 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 2: a result of being accessible. My number one problem in 49 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:35,960 Speaker 2: business that I've been told by so many people and 50 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:39,720 Speaker 2: by people and I'm in relationships with, is you're too accessible. 51 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,560 Speaker 2: You're too accessible. You're just letting people like call and 52 00:02:42,639 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 2: email you directly and ask you things, and like you're 53 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 2: in messages and talking to people and you're on the street, 54 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,560 Speaker 2: and like you're too accessible. And so I don't know 55 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,880 Speaker 2: if I'm good at regulating myself because it gets too 56 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 2: far becomes an emotional emergency. But I do eventually regulate 57 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 2: myself and say this is too activating. Sometimes being on 58 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 2: social media is too activating. Sometimes being in social life 59 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 2: is too activating. Sometimes dating is too activating. Sometimes drinking 60 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 2: is too activating. So I've been out in the Hamptons 61 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:16,359 Speaker 2: and I was I went to something for business. I 62 00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 2: don't want to get into any kind of details, but 63 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,119 Speaker 2: I went into to something for business, and I thought 64 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:22,840 Speaker 2: it was going to be one thing, and it was 65 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 2: very much another thing, and I felt very exposed and 66 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,440 Speaker 2: I was with a lot of people that I didn't know, 67 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,800 Speaker 2: lovely people, but I felt very overwhelmed and I felt 68 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 2: the inclination to climb into a turtleshell. But I was 69 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 2: out in public and having to engage in having to interact, 70 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,760 Speaker 2: and I felt like I was too accessible, and I 71 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 2: felt like I was like slightly I felt I'm not 72 00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 2: saying this was happening. I felt like maybe I was 73 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 2: being used a little bit for other reasons, and I 74 00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:53,880 Speaker 2: just was feeling uncomfortable. And a couple of days in 75 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 2: the next week, there was another social event and it 76 00:03:56,640 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 2: was the John Mulaney comedy show, which had a hundred 77 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 2: I think it was. Eventually I found out it was 78 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 2: going to have two hundred and fifty people, and I 79 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 2: was excited because I was in my place of yes Era, 80 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,200 Speaker 2: and I love stand up comedy, and I've never seen him, 81 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 2: and I'm not I don't know his work that well, 82 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 2: but I love stand up comedy and he's very successful. 83 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,240 Speaker 2: And it was in the Hamptons, and it was going 84 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 2: to be probably an hour and change from my house, 85 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:21,720 Speaker 2: and I was excited to go after this other experience 86 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,239 Speaker 2: where I felt a little exposed and uncomfortable, and also 87 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:26,600 Speaker 2: I'm you know, my mother didn't die that long ago, 88 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:28,640 Speaker 2: and I've experienced a breakup. A lot of things are 89 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 2: going on, and sometimes you're a delay and it's never 90 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:33,480 Speaker 2: about what it's about, and you're fragile and too accessible, 91 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:35,640 Speaker 2: and you know you don't have to be a public 92 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,919 Speaker 2: person to relate to, like getting ahead of yourself and 93 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,200 Speaker 2: thinking you can handle things you can't or things that 94 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 2: don't matter becoming very important because you're sort of fragile 95 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:46,000 Speaker 2: and sensitive. 96 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 1: And so I. 97 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,839 Speaker 2: The day before the John Mulaney Show said to my 98 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,560 Speaker 2: publicist and my team, to someone who works with me, 99 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 2: I talked to her about it. I'm like, I don't 100 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 2: think I should go. I don't think I should go. 101 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 2: I'm overwhelmed. I'm feeling overwhelmed. And I don't even know 102 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 2: why it was overwhelmed. I just felt like it's gonna 103 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:04,599 Speaker 2: be a lot of people, and I just feel raw, 104 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:06,719 Speaker 2: and I feel fragile, and I just don't. 105 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:07,039 Speaker 1: I don't. 106 00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 2: I don't think it's good for me, and it sounds nuts, 107 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 2: but some people understand, and we sent an email politely 108 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 2: declined I don't know where the disconnect was or what happened. 109 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,640 Speaker 2: But the next day the media sent an email. Page 110 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 2: six sent an email saying like, Bethany skipped out on 111 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 2: this thing, and we're going to write a story. And 112 00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:28,440 Speaker 2: my pup was just sent them the original email and 113 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,080 Speaker 2: they were going to kill the story. And Page six 114 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,640 Speaker 2: is every right to write that. But if any of 115 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 2: you know anything about my personality, I'm never late, I'm accountable, 116 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:37,200 Speaker 2: et cetera. I would never skip out on something. I 117 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:40,119 Speaker 2: value someone else's time and someone else's experience. I also 118 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:40,799 Speaker 2: have done. 119 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,840 Speaker 1: Stand up comedy and I have been going to it. 120 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 2: For years, and it's a very difficult medium, and I 121 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,760 Speaker 2: respect and honor the craft, and so I would never 122 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:52,960 Speaker 2: want someone to well, I'll get to that point. 123 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: So I. 124 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:57,680 Speaker 2: Have a lot of respect for stand up comedians. I've 125 00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 2: said that ten thousand times on this podcast. I just 126 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:14,359 Speaker 2: really honor and respect the craft. So it says I 127 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:17,920 Speaker 2: skipped out. Page six said that, and I thought, okay, no, 128 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,120 Speaker 2: let's just correct that, which we did, and then I 129 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 2: did an apology on social media because I heard that 130 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,679 Speaker 2: there were two signs in the front row saying my name, 131 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 2: and I felt like, that's so horrible because he's performing 132 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,679 Speaker 2: and then there were two signs in the front row. 133 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 1: And then later. 134 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,640 Speaker 2: I read that there is an opening act and he 135 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,240 Speaker 2: and John were both referencing back to the fact that 136 00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:50,800 Speaker 2: I wasn't there and like, oh, we're happy to see 137 00:06:50,800 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 2: everybody except for Bethany Frankel, Like I've been to these shows, 138 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 2: Like it's like a bit that keeps going and it's 139 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 2: landing and people are laughing and it's landing. And then 140 00:06:57,600 --> 00:07:01,200 Speaker 2: someone who was there, Claudia Ashre podcast or she has 141 00:07:01,279 --> 00:07:03,720 Speaker 2: a thing. Girl with No Job is her name, and 142 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 2: she was there too, and I guess she wasn't rude 143 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 2: about it, but on her podcast she talked about it. 144 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 2: So the irony of me wanting to not go because 145 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 2: I just didn't want to feel exposed and didn't want 146 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 2: to feel raw and activated was now so exacerbated. And 147 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 2: then I spoke to my girlfriend today and she was 148 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 2: just like, my husband was there and there was a table, 149 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:27,240 Speaker 2: not two chairs. She said, there was a table VIP 150 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 2: table dead center right in the front with your name 151 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,720 Speaker 2: on it, and they kept referencing back to it and 152 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 2: the audience was cheering and everything, and she was like, 153 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 2: and I said to myself, that's not like Bethany at all. 154 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 2: She would never ever just skip out on something. So 155 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 2: even though I apologized, I feel like it didn't like. 156 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 2: I still felt like my community sometimes your community is 157 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 2: more important to you than like more people, meaning it 158 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 2: could be millions of people that know that I didn't 159 00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 2: that I didn't go, or whatever the story is, but 160 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 2: like feeling like in my own home people think that 161 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 2: I that, and it's so stupid. It doesn't matter. I know, 162 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 2: it doesn't matter. I just felt really like bad, and 163 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 2: I just felt really sad. I was crying and I 164 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:10,000 Speaker 2: just was like, I need to take a minute. Something 165 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 2: is off with me. I'm just not myself. And I said, 166 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 2: you know, took a social media break, like decided I 167 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 2: just did. I took a social media break. I was 168 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 2: just feeling very vulnerable and very fragile. And I think 169 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,400 Speaker 2: we get too hooked in. And you know, while I 170 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 2: was listening to Harry and Megan talk about the dangers 171 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:33,280 Speaker 2: of social media for the younger generation, I don't think 172 00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 2: that's a total blanket statement. I think in some ways 173 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,080 Speaker 2: my daughter has learned how to cook on social media 174 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:41,400 Speaker 2: and do different hairstyles, and she gets to express herself 175 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 2: and people dance during the pandemic, and people were able 176 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 2: to share their cooking and different things. So I think 177 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:51,840 Speaker 2: that social media cannot, as a blanket statement, be bad. 178 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 2: But for me, I am very accessible. That's one of 179 00:08:56,040 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 2: the areas that I'm most accessible. And I decided to 180 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,600 Speaker 2: take a little breather. I just I need a little breath. 181 00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:07,559 Speaker 2: I just I got in, got a little overwhelmed and uncomfortable, 182 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 2: and yeah, I guess my place of yes era might 183 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 2: be might be coming to a screeching halt. I just 184 00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 2: don't think I can be as accessible as I've been, 185 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:20,640 Speaker 2: and I don't think I can do it all and 186 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 2: say yes to it all as I thought that I could. 187 00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 2: But that's been always my plight, being too open to accessible. 188 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:31,679 Speaker 2: So that was what happened to get me into this 189 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,199 Speaker 2: place where I've been a little off. 190 00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:55,160 Speaker 1: So that's my story.