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Speaker 1: With Alexi Napola and Marisol Patton and iHeartRadio Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hi, guys, welcome to another episode of I So Listen guys.

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Speaker 2: You guys didn't get to see this, but we had

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Speaker 2: a little bit of technical difficulties.

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Speaker 1: Oh brother.

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Speaker 2: We were trying out our new space, which is here

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Speaker 2: at Marisol's house and her casita and her poolhouse in

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Speaker 2: the back, which you guys are gonna absolutely love. It's phenomenal,

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Speaker 2: it's gorgeous and it was so perfect, except the Wi

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Speaker 2: Fi was not working back there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, something's not something knows something's not right. Someone tripped

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Speaker 1: a wire.

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Speaker 2: It's always something. But so we brought things back in

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Speaker 2: here and we're gonna kill it. We're gonna make the

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Speaker 2: best that we can. We're gonna have so much fun

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Speaker 2: with this episode. We haven't done any ask me questions

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Speaker 2: like at a time and.

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Speaker 1: Ask us anything from the audience episode.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I hope we're due, and I feel like our

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Speaker 2: beautiful fans have written a lot, so let's just get

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Speaker 2: right to it.

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Speaker 1: Get right to it. So we received a lot of

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Speaker 1: questions about friendships and friend groups. Yikes, what's your advice

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Speaker 1: for a new friend who joins an already established friend group.

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Speaker 2: Hmmmm, well there's so much to say. I feel like

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Speaker 2: new friends when they're coming into a group they didn't

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Speaker 2: get UBI got and so yeah, so they need to

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Speaker 2: come in the humble, you know, with an open heart

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Speaker 2: and an open mind. Yeah, kind of like under the radar,

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Speaker 2: and you know, listen and observe and kind of like

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Speaker 2: stay quiet. You have nothing nice to say, don't say it.

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Speaker 1: That's very good advice, e Lecta. Yeah. I think that

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Speaker 1: when you're starting fresh in a new group, you kind

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Speaker 1: of just need to test the waters, you know, check

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Speaker 1: everyone's temperature, get to know everyone, and then if you're

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Speaker 1: gonna go in for the juggler, it better be like

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Speaker 1: how long before you can go join don't go in

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Speaker 1: for the queen? Yeah? How long do you think someone

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Speaker 1: needs to wait before they, you know, join a new

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Speaker 1: friend group, before they can just go in and start

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Speaker 1: insulting people or go for the jugular?

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Speaker 2: You know. I think that that depends on the front group.

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Speaker 2: But I do think that it's not so much the

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Speaker 2: amount of time, like the amount of weeks or the

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Speaker 2: amount of months. I think that you need to have

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Speaker 2: some kind of trust established and the girls need to

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Speaker 2: know you and you know, some kind of.

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Speaker 1: Like bond before you go there.

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Speaker 2: You know, I just don't think you can come in

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Speaker 2: crazy hothead, you know and just say, you know, whatever

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Speaker 2: you want to say and insult people because you haven't

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Speaker 2: earned it.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 2: I feel like you need to earn your position in

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Speaker 2: the group, in the friend group, and by that I

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Speaker 2: mean the girls need to trust you. The girls need

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Speaker 2: to feel safe around you, and you have to be

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Speaker 2: careful with you with your trust.

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Speaker 1: Your judgment before they can trust your words for sure. Wow,

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Speaker 1: and you know what, that's not gonna happen overnight. You know.

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Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of these girls friends group

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Speaker 1: and they're really thirsty and you know they want the attention,

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Speaker 1: so they're kind of like yes, so you know they'll

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Speaker 1: be like fake nice, you know to a lot of

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Speaker 1: the girls, and you know, I just think that they

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Speaker 1: need to and then show colors afterwards. It's happened to

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Speaker 1: me a million times.

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Speaker 2: Well I feel like that's eventually that's what happens. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, you can't fake it, you know, until you

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Speaker 2: make it in these friend groups.

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Speaker 1: I know that anything not in our friend girl because

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Speaker 1: in two seconds, so you know what I mean?

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Speaker 2: I love that our fans like confide in us and

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Speaker 2: look to us to give them advice because you know,

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Speaker 2: we've gone through it all and we want to share

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Speaker 2: our wisdom and just our experience, right, And that's you know,

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Speaker 2: our fans are loyal listeners and they're always looking for

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Speaker 2: for questions and answers, and I love that we can

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Speaker 2: share that with them. But you know, I think that

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Speaker 2: not only the front group needs to be a little patient,

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Speaker 2: you know, also and kind of be open and warm,

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Speaker 2: you know, to the new front coming out.

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Speaker 1: When you come into a new group, someone that everybody

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Speaker 1: wants in the group. That's usually how it works. You're

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Speaker 1: joining a group because everyone's like, oh, meet my new friend.

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Speaker 1: She's so awesome, and everybody gets to know this new

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Speaker 1: person and you have to follow them.

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Speaker 2: You might think she's so awesome, but the other girls

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Speaker 2: might have a different They.

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Speaker 1: Get to know everybody to not be.

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Speaker 2: Judge, you know, come in with an open heart and

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Speaker 2: open mind. Don't criticize, you know, because we're all different.

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Speaker 2: You know, get to know us before you talk, you know,

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Speaker 2: don't don't and you know, don't you talk shit behind

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Speaker 2: her back. You know, if you have anything to say.

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Speaker 1: We always find out. Yeah, just you know, I find

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Speaker 1: out everything. You sure do. I get the d MS

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Speaker 1: about everything. I don't know why the audience likes to

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Speaker 1: confide in me and give me on the info. And

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Speaker 1: I don't always shore you'll use it. I don't. I

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Speaker 1: don't I tell it to you. I don't always share

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Speaker 1: it with everybody unless you know, I feel like people

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Speaker 1: aren't being their true selves and then actually acting on

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Speaker 1: the way they really feel.

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Speaker 2: You just have to be real and organic and genuine

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Speaker 2: and authentic.

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Speaker 1: And I just kind of ride low and get to

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Speaker 1: know everything and get to know everybody you know, and

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Speaker 1: everybody can be friends. Okay, So when is it too

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Speaker 1: soon to start name calling or start conflict when you're

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Speaker 1: new to a friend group. How do you earn your

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Speaker 1: place within a friend group when you are a newbie. Well,

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Speaker 1: I think we just established that you need to give

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Speaker 1: everyone time get to know them. Name calling is never okay.

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Speaker 2: Well it's never okay, I mean not even like after

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Speaker 2: I mean I get it. You know, when there's name

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Speaker 2: calling after many years of like friendship, you know, it's

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Speaker 2: kind of like sisters, you know, because in sul done,

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Speaker 2: you know, we insult each other and two minutes later

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Speaker 2: or like I love you, I love you, But again,

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Speaker 2: that's what I meant about earning it. It's like you

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Speaker 2: earned it. There's a pond, there's a friendship, there's a

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Speaker 2: level of us.

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Speaker 1: So then after like, how many years do you think

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Speaker 1: you get a pass for saying to someone when they

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Speaker 1: said something rude to you? And then you call them

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Speaker 1: and ask how many years do you think we need

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Speaker 1: to get through to get to that point? Do you feel?

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Speaker 2: Because I feel like at least five, you think five five.

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Speaker 1: Five for me to be like, okay, you said that

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Speaker 1: and I can say you're in and we can move forward.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's happening a lot sooner in friend groups,

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Speaker 1: at least in the ones I've been part of. I

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Speaker 1: think there's a five year rule. Can we establish that?

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Speaker 1: By the way, I like half a decade. Okay, half

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Speaker 1: a decade works for me, but.

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Speaker 2: Definitely then UB never wants to come into a group

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Speaker 2: and start like, you know, bad mouthing peace.

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Speaker 1: You can't rock the boat too soon because then everybody

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Speaker 1: goes down.

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Speaker 2: Our our echa. One fan writes, I went out with

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Speaker 2: my girlfriends the other day even though everyone knew I

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Speaker 2: was in funing well. One friend took it upon herself

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Speaker 2: to confront me about something I did that she didn't like,

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Speaker 2: and it really rubbed me the wrong way, and I'm

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Speaker 2: still pretty upset about it. Am I wrong? I guess

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Speaker 2: that this is what happened. I guess I'd use some

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Speaker 2: friends that were out and one friend wanted to speak

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Speaker 2: to her friend about something she had done that I

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Speaker 2: erupted her the wrong way and her friend wasn't ready

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Speaker 2: for that. Her friend was like, I'm not feeling very

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Speaker 2: well and I have that conversation with you right now.

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Speaker 1: Right. Oh yeah, listen. That actually happened to me recently.

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Speaker 1: I was on a crazy, fun, you know, get away

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Speaker 1: with my friends and one of my friends was feeling

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Speaker 1: a certain type of way about me and wanted to

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Speaker 1: sit down and have a chat with me, but waited

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Speaker 1: until I was leaving the trip because I was feeling

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Speaker 1: unwell and I needed to leave a little sooner than

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Speaker 1: everyone else, and said, hey, let me walk you out,

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Speaker 1: and I said, okay, that's very nice, thank you. Walks

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Speaker 1: me and goes, hey, why do I have a seat

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Speaker 1: right here? Have something to say to you, and then

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Speaker 1: listed huge list of grievances to.

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Speaker 2: Me about iPhone you did at that moment, and you

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Speaker 2: wanted to walk out of the boat because you were

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Speaker 2: I mean.

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Speaker 1: I was really unwell and this person is looking at

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Speaker 1: it and like grow up on them because I was

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Speaker 1: that bad and I needed to just get.

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Speaker 2: Home and she needed to get it off her shoes.

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Speaker 1: I needed to get out.

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Speaker 3: And I'm just looking at her and saying, thinking to myself,

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Speaker 3: I've been with you for fourteen hours. Why are you

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Speaker 3: choosing now to pull me aside when I'm really ill

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Speaker 3: and leaving and I really can't have a conversation with anyone.

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Speaker 1: You know, nothing good is going to come from this. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so they need to get it out when they want.

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Speaker 1: It never really changes the conversation. It was yeah, totally.

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Speaker 1: I mean I don't remember what I said, but my

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Speaker 1: tone was not pleasant because I was like, I, you're

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Speaker 1: really doing this right now? I'm like, was there any

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Speaker 1: name calling? Uh? No name calling? No, no name calling.

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Speaker 1: You know, it was just like uncomfortable. It was just

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Speaker 1: like unpleasant, unnecessary. It could have waited, or it could

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Speaker 1: have been done sooner earlier, you know, not when you're

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Speaker 1: trying to get out and escape because you're that bad.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. It was a bender of lots

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Speaker 1: of cocktails and festivities and cigarettes smoking, and you know,

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Speaker 1: nothing good comes from that. The next day I was like,

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Speaker 1: why don't you catch me when I was on my

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Speaker 1: upswing at one am? Right, Well, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: That could have been worse. So you would have advised

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Speaker 2: your friend, yeah, I did this to you. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I would have been like, hey, listen, I've been here

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Speaker 1: for fourteen hours. You could have told me this yesterday. Oh,

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Speaker 1: can we talk about it maybe tomorrow, next week, yeah,

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Speaker 1: or another day. I feel like there were some other

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Speaker 1: friends in the group that did that. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I agreed, like we're not going to talk now, we're

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Speaker 2: not ready to talk, which I actually think it's smart.

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Speaker 1: Do you agree with that? Absolutely? Listen that both friends

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Speaker 1: need to be ready at the same energy, ready to do,

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Speaker 1: an energy to talk about and so absolutely you can't

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Speaker 1: have one ready to fire them off and the other

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Speaker 1: one's like ready to go to the hospital. It's never

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Speaker 1: going to work out. So that's what happened. So you

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Speaker 1: didn't work. Basically, you didn't work anything out. I felt

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Speaker 1: like I felt good about it, even though I was

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Speaker 1: feeling terrible. I was like, you know what, that's all

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Speaker 1: I gotta give right now, and that's all you're going

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Speaker 1: to get, And you probably wasn't the best scenario. You

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Speaker 1: definitely want to absolutely talk to someone when they're in

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Speaker 1: their best frame of mind to get the best possible

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Speaker 1: awers and result to your conflict and situation. So are

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Speaker 1: you still upset about it? My friend was feeling a

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Speaker 1: certain way. I was feeling a certain way. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: in the best position to resolve anything, and you got

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Speaker 1: what you got, you know, you know.

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Speaker 2: I feel like we can also do that. That's like friendships,

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Speaker 2: but we can also like take that into our personal

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Speaker 2: lives right well, Like the wife is ready to talk

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Speaker 2: about something and the husband is ready, or vice versa.

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Speaker 2: The husband wants to talk about something that like the

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Speaker 2: wife doesn't want to.

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Speaker 1: You can't force it.

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Speaker 2: You can't force it. And reading the advice that I

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Speaker 2: would give our fans, it's like, you can't force it.

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Speaker 2: You have to know how to read the room. You

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Speaker 2: have to know read the vibes. If your friend is

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Speaker 2: not ready and she's in your case, you weren't feeling

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Speaker 2: it was like a medical thing. It's like you weren't

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Speaker 2: feeling good. It wasn't like your mind didn't want you

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Speaker 2: to do it.

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Speaker 1: I was listen, when you're not when you're not well,

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Speaker 1: your mind isn't there, nothing is there.

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Speaker 2: You can't Maybe she thought you were just trying to

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Speaker 2: avoid her.

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Speaker 1: Oh god, really some of the girls I we were

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Speaker 1: like hanging out for fourteen hours. Yeah, we had a

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Speaker 1: lot of time to do that. Not when I was

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Speaker 1: trying to escape and go home and you know, you

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Speaker 1: weren't feeling it was bad. No, No, like escape to

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Speaker 1: get to my house and lay down and shower and

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Speaker 1: close my eyes and just try to start feeling better.

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Speaker 2: If you really want to resolve whatever conflict it is

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Speaker 2: or you're in, guys, girls, you need to pick the

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Speaker 2: right time.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely.

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Speaker 2: Another fan wrote in and said, I have a friend

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Speaker 2: that's always notoriously late. Oh so do I to our plans?

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Speaker 2: She's always late and we're all very patient with her.

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Speaker 1: I think that's a Miami thing, though, Alexi. Everybody's late

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Speaker 1: and I'm just close to telling her off. What should

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Speaker 1: I say to her? Well, I feel like, so, my friend,

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Speaker 1: you're not the only one that that's in that position,

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Speaker 1: Like Marisol says, we have so many friends, right that

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Speaker 1: we can think of, that are always late and they

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Speaker 1: think that their time is more valuable than anybody else's time. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and there's times that you put up with it, you

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Speaker 1: justify it your understanding.

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Speaker 2: But then come there, then there comes that one day

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Speaker 2: that you just want to, like.

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Speaker 1: You snap because how many times are you going to

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Speaker 1: go through it? And then and then you also get

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Speaker 1: to the point like how many times you have to

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Speaker 1: tell your friend, Oh, listen, you tell them the time

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Speaker 1: to show up is two hours earlier than everybody else's

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Speaker 1: and they're still later than everybody else.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that person wants to know what should she say

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Speaker 2: to her friend? Like, what would you say to your friend?

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Speaker 2: You said?

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Speaker 1: You know what? So I know I have many friends

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Speaker 1: that are like that. Like I said, I grew up

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Speaker 1: in Miami like you did, and some people, like a

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Speaker 1: lot of people here, do not respect respect everybody else's time.

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Speaker 1: And I just don't even want to hang out with

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Speaker 1: people that an make me wait. I already know I'm

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Speaker 1: not going to make a plan with this person because

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Speaker 1: I'm going to be waiting all the time. And then

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Speaker 1: I think it's rude and disrespectful, and it's it's habitual.

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Speaker 1: When it's habitual, you cannot bend it.

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Speaker 2: The thing is also like I feel like it's very circumstantial,

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Speaker 2: like is this person only late when it's with your

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Speaker 2: particular friend group or are they late to like let's say,

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Speaker 2: like they work out at the gym, or they go

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Speaker 2: to an exercise costume? Are they late there? Are they

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Speaker 2: late to pick up their children? I mean, because there's

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Speaker 2: like late like.

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Speaker 1: Throughout the day? Are you do you really have a

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Speaker 1: problem with tardiness when it applies to everything across the

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Speaker 1: border like taking your kids to school, like making your

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Speaker 1: doctor's appointments, your your your gin whatever. Maybe or you're

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Speaker 1: only late when it comes to hanging out with us.

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Speaker 1: That mean that I can't answer, but that's pretty dreadful,

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Speaker 1: Like how do you even get that foreign life if

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Speaker 1: you ever make it on time anywhere?

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Speaker 2: But that's a question that maybe I'm telling our listener,

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Speaker 2: you know, as far as what she should say to her,

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Speaker 2: maybe it's a conversation you should sit down with your

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Speaker 2: friend and say, listen, I'm taking this really personal because

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Speaker 2: every time we make plans to hang out, you are

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Speaker 2: notoriously late, and I mean late, like an hour two hours.

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Speaker 2: So I have a question, is this directly just to me?

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Speaker 2: Or do you have this problem when you're driving your

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Speaker 2: children to school or picking them up or going to

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Speaker 2: your doctor? I mean, do you go to your doctor's

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Speaker 2: appointment two hours late? Or do your your dinner reservations?

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Speaker 1: I mean your whole day to your Botok, the whole

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Speaker 1: day consists that workout.

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Speaker 2: Your whole day consists of being in places on time,

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Speaker 2: like there's you know, that's why we have and we

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Speaker 2: have time. Of course it's called I feel it's a

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Speaker 2: conversation that you need to have with your friend before

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Speaker 2: things get ugly, because things will get ugly.

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Speaker 1: Listen, that's just that's just I mean, that's just the

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Speaker 1: way that person is. If they've been doing this for

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Speaker 1: a while, then I think you kind of know that

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Speaker 1: they're just going to continue doing that, and then you

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Speaker 1: just don't make plans with them. You see them in

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Speaker 1: big groups and hang out with them. In a different

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Speaker 1: type of scenario, if I had a friend that was

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Speaker 1: always late, I would not make plans. I just wouldn't.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be able to take it. I'd be so annoyed.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be able to have fun By the time

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Speaker 1: she showed up, because that for me is a huge

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Speaker 1: pet peeve. Well, I mean I feel like.

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Speaker 2: Whenever this happens, like in a friend group, I feel

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Speaker 2: like the person gets away with it because they justify it,

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Speaker 2: they understand it. Oh, well, you know I had this,

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Speaker 2: or do I had that to do? Or like you

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Speaker 2: don't understand my life, you don't understand this, and we're

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Speaker 2: like empathetic and compassionate and we're trying to justify it.

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Speaker 2: And at the end we're just like hurting that person

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Speaker 2: because we're like enabling them to do it and we're

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Speaker 2: okay with it. So, I mean, if you really care

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Speaker 2: about your friend, I feel like this person that wrote

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Speaker 2: us this question, this fan, I feel like you should

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Speaker 2: sit down with her and you should have a conversation

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Speaker 2: where you really tell her how much this is bothering

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Speaker 2: you and how much it's affecting your friendship. So when

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Speaker 2: the time when she shows up, like you're already a

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Speaker 2: snap at her, it kind of like changes the home

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Speaker 2: mod of the group.

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Speaker 1: And after you have this chat with her, if she

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Speaker 1: continues to be late, then you know, don't make plans

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Speaker 1: with this.

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Speaker 2: Is I'm sorry, part of being a friend is being

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Speaker 2: aware and caring about your friend's feelings. So if your

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Speaker 2: friend's telling you like, I can't do this anymore, Like

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Speaker 2: I'm really upset every time you show up two hours late.

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Speaker 2: So you know what, you can go on? Make like

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Speaker 2: you said, make friends with other friends, but like I'm

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Speaker 2: not in find new friends. Yeah, here's that's another one.

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Speaker 2: When do you feel like it's time to give up

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Speaker 2: on a friendship? What are some red flags when figuring

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Speaker 2: this out? That's a loaded question. It's so it's kind

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Speaker 2: of very open. Gosh, you know what I mean. The

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Speaker 2: red flags are there. I feel like in every friendship,

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Speaker 2: just like any relationship, whether it's with your spouse, or

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Speaker 2: with your parents, or at your workplace or with your friends,

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Speaker 2: there's always red flags. It's whether we choose to see

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Speaker 2: them or not. I feel like in any relationship, I

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Speaker 2: think the biggest red flag is friends not validating each

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Speaker 2: other's feelings and emotions and words. You know, that could

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Speaker 2: go for like any kind of relationship. Again, like I said,

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Speaker 2: with your parents, with your spouse at work, right, you know,

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Speaker 2: I feel just witted to listen to each other and

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Speaker 2: if you're hurting, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't see that

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Speaker 2: was hurting you. But if it hurt you and I

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Speaker 2: love you and you're my friend, I'm sorry that I

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Speaker 2: did that. So we need to learn how to validate

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Speaker 2: each other's feelings and emotions and just like be better

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Speaker 2: listeners and be like aware.

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Speaker 1: For me, one of my biggest red flaxes, and it

376
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Speaker 1: always takes me a long time to figure it out,

377
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Speaker 1: is that I'm giving more in the relationship that I'm

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Speaker 1: getting in return. I find that I like to help people.

379
00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,399
Speaker 1: It makes me feel good to teach people the things

380
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:21,360
Speaker 1: like you and I love to do here on the podcast.

381
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Speaker 1: We like to teach people all the things we've learned

382
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Speaker 1: to manage pain and disappointment and how to get beyond it.

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Speaker 1: And when I spend my time helping people do that

384
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Speaker 1: or just connecting them because I know a lot of people,

385
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Speaker 1: when I help them in business or whatever, I do

386
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Speaker 1: that with a lot of joy because it makes me

387
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,679
Speaker 1: feel good. But you know, after a while, when you

388
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,959
Speaker 1: realize it's all one sided, then I'm like, I'm I

389
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,119
Speaker 1: can't do it anymore, Like I'm out. I feel like

390
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Speaker 1: I give all my energy to a person or a friendship,

391
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Speaker 1: and then I'm not getting anything back. It's like it

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Speaker 1: takes me a while to figure it out and then

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Speaker 1: I got to go, that's my That's a big one

394
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Speaker 1: for me.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you've been my friend for so many years,

396
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Speaker 2: so I've seen you, you know, and I'm still in

397
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 2: your life. Soone says a lot much, you know, best

398
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,440
Speaker 2: friends and great friends. But I feel like now that

399
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 2: you're saying that, I feel like throughout other years that

400
00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:19,639
Speaker 2: I've known you, that you like when you meet like

401
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:22,200
Speaker 2: a new girl, like a new friend, like you want

402
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,360
Speaker 2: to become friends with them like so soon because you're

403
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,639
Speaker 2: like that giving and they're like and then you know

404
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:29,679
Speaker 2: they see that you're that so they like suck you

405
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Speaker 2: in and they see what they you.

406
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Speaker 1: Can do for them.

407
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Speaker 2: So that's where you're referring to, like that you give

408
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 2: so much more they don't give a return, and then

409
00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,960
Speaker 2: you figure out who they are and then they're like gone, anyways, M.

410
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Speaker 1: Stabbing in the back and I'm like, but what did

411
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 1: I do to deserve this? Object? Was ever to help?

412
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,800
Speaker 1: It's happened so many times. But you know, sometimes you

413
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,120
Speaker 1: don't see the red flags. Now you don't don't see

414
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 1: the red flags, don't Yeah, I don't. I don't because

415
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Speaker 1: I feel like there's still so much to give and

416
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Speaker 1: help and it makes me feel good to do it.

417
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Speaker 2: No, but I feel like now you're more jaded. Now

418
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:04,160
Speaker 2: you have, you know all, you protect yourself more.

419
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Speaker 1: I've had a wall and a few have slipped through.

420
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Speaker 1: But I'm not. I'm just not doing it anymore. I'm

421
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Speaker 1: just not. I'm not. It needs to be fifty to fifty, right,

422
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:18,200
Speaker 1: I'm even okay with seventy thirty. But most people don't

423
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Speaker 1: even have thirty to give.

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Speaker 2: That's a sign, Like, that's definitely a red flag because

425
00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 2: what happens is now you already know what to expect

426
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,480
Speaker 2: and what you want, what you can accept and not.

427
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Speaker 2: So that's very important, like having boundaries and just knowing

428
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,879
Speaker 2: you know what's going to be okay for you and

429
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:37,840
Speaker 2: with you and what's not what's not you just push

430
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:40,359
Speaker 2: them away and that's it. Yeah, which, like for me,

431
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:44,440
Speaker 2: another red flag is accountability, Like I can't stand when

432
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 2: you're friends or whoever it may be, takes no accountability.

433
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 2: It's like, okay, no, everything was your fault, Like I

434
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 2: did no wrong. I did nothing wrong. So to me,

435
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,600
Speaker 2: that's a huge because I think it's really hard to

436
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 2: be in any kind of relationship, whether again, like I said,

437
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,680
Speaker 2: with your parents in this case, we're talking about friends

438
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 2: or work, whatever, that they never see that they hurt you.

439
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 2: They never see that they did something wrong. They never say,

440
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 2: oh my god, I'm sorry, like I didn't see that

441
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,359
Speaker 2: that way, like in your case, oh my god, you

442
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,520
Speaker 2: felt sick. You're right, I shouldn't have told you. Let's

443
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:16,119
Speaker 2: talk about it.

444
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:19,879
Speaker 1: I'm my biggest critic, and I know you're also. For me,

445
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 1: it's all about getting to know myself better and being better, right,

446
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 1: And you're very good at also, Alexia applaud you on this.

447
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 1: You always put yourself in the other person's shoes and

448
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 1: you try to look at it at their point of

449
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 1: view too, so and then you can self reflect and

450
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 1: then you say, you know what, You're right, I could

451
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,560
Speaker 1: have handled that better, And you're very good to apologize.

452
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: You're you're good that way. Not many people can see

453
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,320
Speaker 1: their own faults, and then it becomes everybody else's.

454
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,680
Speaker 2: Fault, you know, because I feel like I could take

455
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 2: criticism even if people think I can, but I can by.

456
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 1: The way within reason. Within reason, I mean.

457
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,440
Speaker 2: Of course, constructive criticism and it's all about the delivery,

458
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 2: and it's just kind of like hooney and saying, you

459
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,920
Speaker 2: know what, you're right. I do see it that way,

460
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:03,199
Speaker 2: but now I see it. You know, I want to

461
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 2: fix it. I want to make it better.

462
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,120
Speaker 1: And you know what you just said something really important

463
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,960
Speaker 1: popping on up. The delivery is very important. You can

464
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,600
Speaker 1: say things the right way and you can say them

465
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 1: the wrong way. If you're going to deliver a complaint

466
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,960
Speaker 1: or a quandary or concern to me in a negative way,

467
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,479
Speaker 1: you're gonna get a negative answer. If you deliver it,

468
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 1: you wrap it up in a ball and you say

469
00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 1: it in a nice i'mone, like, you know what, You're right,

470
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,520
Speaker 1: You're right. I should have done that better. I'm sorry.

471
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:32,359
Speaker 1: I agree. Yeah, it's all about the delivery. I'm working.

472
00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 2: But sometimes it's like when they get you when you're

473
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:36,439
Speaker 2: delivering something you have to.

474
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:42,280
Speaker 1: Full time. Fama, didn't they grab me when you're sick

475
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 1: trying to like, wait, it wasn't supposed to be like this,

476
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 1: But that's poor timing. Okay, So this next set of

477
00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:01,080
Speaker 1: questions are about R H O N. Who is your

478
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 1: closest friend aside for each other, and who would you

479
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,960
Speaker 1: like to get to know closest friend aside from each other.

480
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 1: I feel like Lisa and Larsa, right you and me?

481
00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:17,400
Speaker 2: From me, it would be Julia and Larsa. Larcia and Larsa.

482
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:21,840
Speaker 2: I've become very close to Julia and and Larsa has

483
00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 2: always been a friend. She's always been She's always given

484
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 2: me very good advice. She's always been a friend. And yeah, Larson.

485
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 2: For me, it would be Larsa and Julia. I want

486
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,280
Speaker 2: to put Lisa up there too, because Lisa is also

487
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 2: a dear good friend. We have a lot of history together.

488
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,240
Speaker 2: But you know, we always say she's a different kind

489
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 2: of friends, you know, but again, your.

490
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 1: Friends are your friends.

491
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 2: My friends are my friends with reason and with no reason,

492
00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 2: and Lisa is one of them, and so is you know,

493
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 2: Julia and and Larsa.

494
00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 1: Who do you want to get to know better?

495
00:23:55,720 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 2: I continue I'm continuing to get to know Keiki, so

496
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:03,360
Speaker 2: that's key. Gee, I actually want to get I want

497
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 2: to get to know all the girls better. I want

498
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,959
Speaker 2: to get to know Gerty better. Uh, you know, I'm

499
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 2: pretty close to Kiki, but I really want to get

500
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 2: to know all the girls better. Like I love having

501
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,360
Speaker 2: girlfriends you know, and I feel like all of them

502
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,359
Speaker 2: have been really great friends these last couple of months

503
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 2: to me, So I want to get to know them

504
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:20,639
Speaker 2: all better.

505
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:25,720
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, me too too. I I've been getting to

506
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,479
Speaker 1: know Julia better. We have a lot of fun together.

507
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 1: Julia's a lot of fun, yeah, her and her Dan,

508
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:37,119
Speaker 1: Virginia Slims. Yeah, I agree with you. I'd like to

509
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:39,400
Speaker 1: get to know a group of girls.

510
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:44,199
Speaker 2: You know. And you know, it's it's hard when you

511
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,800
Speaker 2: put you know, nine women together, you know, and and

512
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,479
Speaker 2: we all come from different walks of life. We all

513
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,399
Speaker 2: have had everyone's very opinion here.

514
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:53,240
Speaker 1: You know, we have.

515
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 2: Backstory, we have all had different lives, and you know,

516
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:00,919
Speaker 2: but we do have in common is that we're all

517
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 2: there for each other.

518
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:07,920
Speaker 1: You know, in some back everyone rallies regardless of how

519
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 1: you feel about someone else in the group. And you're not,

520
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:14,639
Speaker 1: you know, like pretty sensitive. We may be too sensitive science,

521
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,440
Speaker 1: but that's the good part because everyone can be empathetic

522
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:21,280
Speaker 1: with each other. Have you ever asked the show to

523
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:26,359
Speaker 1: cut a scene you filmed out of an edited episode? Oh?

524
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:31,600
Speaker 1: I did. I think I said the PUSSI word, and

525
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:35,199
Speaker 1: I was like, please don't put that in there. The

526
00:25:35,240 --> 00:25:39,280
Speaker 1: p U S S. I. I don't remember what word

527
00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:40,159
Speaker 1: I said, So.

528
00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 2: I've never called. I mean, I have called to say

529
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 2: that I'm very disturbed and I didn't like certain episodes

530
00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:53,800
Speaker 2: or certain scenes let's call it, with the editing. But

531
00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 2: you know, I know that that's what I signed up

532
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:58,439
Speaker 2: for and I couldn't change it. What I've changed it

533
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 2: in my real life would've wanted wanted things different in

534
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 2: certain scenes. And I think anybody could attest to those

535
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:08,000
Speaker 2: scenes that have to do with my family. Yes, for me,

536
00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,920
Speaker 2: it's very very hard to you know, to watch those scenes.

537
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 2: And I I did call, but I knew they weren't

538
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,120
Speaker 2: going to do anything about it. And like I said,

539
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,280
Speaker 2: it's something that we, you know, signed up to do

540
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:26,960
Speaker 2: so and the bad we gotta take it, you know,

541
00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 2: we got to take it. But I'm definitely not gonna

542
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:31,879
Speaker 2: call because I said the p U S S. Y.

543
00:26:32,200 --> 00:26:34,760
Speaker 1: Maybe I said titty. I remember the way one of

544
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 1: those there's I mean, are you kidding me? You thought

545
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 1: that they were really going to edit that? Well, it

546
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:45,119
Speaker 1: was kind of like I feel like I said, punch it.

547
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 1: It was like punch wait something like that. Yeah, something

548
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:53,200
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, I thought it was. I thought it

549
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 1: was like like I passed it. You know what they

550
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:05,920
Speaker 1: did instead they they dubbed it. They they you could

551
00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 1: like put it. You could see my mouth moving. And

552
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,600
Speaker 1: then I think they put it in Spain. I don't

553
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 1: remember what they did, but they kind of masked it

554
00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 1: and it worked, you know what, it worked out. It's

555
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:17,000
Speaker 1: usually worse when you call them and tell them to

556
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,520
Speaker 1: do it. That's when they want to get you. They're like, Okay,

557
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 1: now it's really going to come out. It wasn't anything.

558
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,719
Speaker 1: It was just like that wasn't really necessary. We can

559
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,440
Speaker 1: leave that out. I gave you all these other good nuggets.

560
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 2: You know.

561
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 1: It's just like I just felt like it wasn't I

562
00:27:31,040 --> 00:27:33,399
Speaker 1: don't know, it was silly. It was. We were like

563
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: we were in the Hamptons and everybody was you know,

564
00:27:35,840 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 1: I was in the pool and everybody in the box.

565
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: Nobody cares about it. Yeah, well I didn't want it,

566
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 1: and I was like, can we just can we just

567
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 1: omit that? Please?

568
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 2: I mean I think that the more you call and

569
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:50,160
Speaker 2: the more you tell them to.

570
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,800
Speaker 1: I think that's the only time I've done that.

571
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 2: To edit something is when they don't do it. And

572
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 2: and in my case, Like I said, there would have been.

573
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:04,760
Speaker 2: There's been a few scenes where I've called because I've been,

574
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 2: you know, so hurt and upset about it because I

575
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 2: knew it was going to be bad, you know.

576
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 1: For me and my family. Yeah, yeah, Okay.

577
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 2: So the next set of questions is about relationships. And

578
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,199
Speaker 2: we have a few fans that are very inquisitive and

579
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:24,160
Speaker 2: very curious, and they really want to know how we

580
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:27,880
Speaker 2: would rebuild trust in a partner after they have betrayed

581
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 2: or hurt you, but have not cheated.

582
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:36,399
Speaker 1: But why are we rebuilding trust if they have betrayed us?

583
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 2: M Yeah, after In this case, I guess it's a fan,

584
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 2: and I guess it's someone that has been betrayed and

585
00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,800
Speaker 2: but not cheated on, because you know, people see betrayed

586
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:51,800
Speaker 2: a lot of times as cheating, like lying as cheating. No,

587
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 2: I mean cheating like with another woman or another man, right.

588
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 1: I know. But sometimes when someone lies to right.

589
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,720
Speaker 2: It's a betrayal for sure. So how do you build

590
00:29:01,840 --> 00:29:05,880
Speaker 2: trust again with that person? Well, I mean basically, you

591
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 2: would just have to give the person the opportunity to try.

592
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:13,920
Speaker 1: But I mean after a while, I mean, after like

593
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 1: like half a decade, just kidding. Listen, after a few times,

594
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:22,880
Speaker 1: if the person's habitual in their behavior, you can't trust anymore.

595
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 1: You got to keep it moving because people just don't change.

596
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:28,320
Speaker 1: You know that you have to. I mean, I don't

597
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,840
Speaker 1: know the level of betrayal, but if you're hurt and

598
00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 1: it bothered you, and and it's habitual, you know, you

599
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 1: give them a chance. And if it's happened like more

600
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: than four times, I'd be like, Okay, it's just going

601
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 1: to keep happening. It's time to move it on, right.

602
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:43,720
Speaker 2: I guess it's something like very personal.

603
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 1: You know.

604
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,120
Speaker 2: It's you know, you never know when it's too much

605
00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,479
Speaker 2: time or you know, how many opportunities are you going

606
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 2: to give the person or not. It's just something that

607
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:54,440
Speaker 2: you have to feel in your heart and know, like

608
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 2: in your mind. Okay, well, you know it's you know,

609
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 2: you have to set boundaries. I mean I feel like

610
00:29:59,280 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 2: you have to, you know, set boundaries and and and

611
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 2: boundaries are different, you know for everyone.

612
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: You know something there could be more. I mean, yeah,

613
00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 1: how much you're willing to put up with that's up

614
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,520
Speaker 1: to you. I mean I I don't I don't put

615
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 1: up with too much.

616
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,840
Speaker 2: I you know, and building trust takes time also, you know,

617
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,280
Speaker 2: and for me it's kind of like what I always

618
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 2: you know, tell like everyone is kind of like your

619
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 2: actions have to match your words totally. So you know

620
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 2: you can tell me, but you know you have to

621
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 2: show me right. So I feel like, you know, Sally

622
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,840
Speaker 2: for example, that's writing in should really focus on, you know,

623
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 2: giving the person you know time to prove it to earth,

624
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,800
Speaker 2: to say you know this person is you know doing

625
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 2: the best right?

626
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 1: Or what are your heart outs? Like? What are those

627
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,720
Speaker 1: things that you can just not live with and then

628
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 1: don't put up with that? And then what you can

629
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 1: live with and put up with it until you can't anymore.

630
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 1: We all know what our heart outs are.

631
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 2: The next question from another fan is, oh, and there's

632
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 2: sexual attraction to an X and there is comfortability in

633
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,479
Speaker 2: being with them. How do you not fall into your

634
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 2: old habits? Okay, so there's sexual attraction to an X,

635
00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 2: and there's and you're comfortable with them right and being

636
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 2: with them right, how do you not fall into your

637
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:16,160
Speaker 2: old habits?

638
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:20,000
Speaker 1: Well, they're an X for a reason, so all the

639
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:23,440
Speaker 1: reasons why they were an ex. How do you not

640
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: fall back into that even though you still have the

641
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 1: hots form mm hmm or her that's true. Yeah, it's

642
00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:37,479
Speaker 1: dicey again. Like I said in the last question, at

643
00:31:37,520 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 1: least for me, I have my heart outs. If you

644
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 1: continue to do the things that I just can't live with,

645
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: then it's going to be a one and done for me,

646
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 1: you know.

647
00:31:46,200 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 2: So again, I mean, I just feel like you have

648
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 2: to the way you don't fall back into those habits

649
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:58,840
Speaker 2: is by talking about it, by sending setting boundaries and

650
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 2: just kind of like you know, know in your head

651
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 2: that you don't want to go back to that place,

652
00:32:03,560 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, and you actually have to

653
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 2: do something about it. So it's maybe doing new things,

654
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 2: you know, and not falling back into those old habits.

655
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: And if the partner that you broke up with that

656
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:19,280
Speaker 1: you're back with now is showing you that they're willing

657
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 1: to work within you're both giving one hundred, then that

658
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 1: can work too. But again, it's like our relationships, everybody

659
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 1: has to give an even amount of effort or it's

660
00:32:28,680 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 1: just not going to work. A seventy thirty is not working.

661
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 2: But it's easy to fall into old habits, it.

662
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 1: Is, But you have to have your all, your heart out.

663
00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:39,560
Speaker 1: The one thing that You're like, I can't live with that.

664
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 1: I can't put it all that on that. That's the problem,

665
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 1: the heart on and the heart that's your heart out right. Okay, Marisol,

666
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 1: you have said before that when when you first met Steve,

667
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 1: you didn't leave for three days. Did you know right

668
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 1: away he was different from other men you have met?

669
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 1: Absolutely not. I had no idea, he liquered me up.

670
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,240
Speaker 1: He did.

671
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 2: He thought that he was like the other guys that

672
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 2: you had ever met. I mean, I had a feeling

673
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 2: he wasn't.

674
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 1: Well you. I mean I didn't know. I had never

675
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 1: even met him before. I showed up at his house

676
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:25,200
Speaker 1: to pick up a bathing suit and just hang out

677
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 1: for some cocktails.

678
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:30,080
Speaker 2: I ever left again, I didn't, but you know, you

679
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:30,959
Speaker 2: saw his face.

680
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 1: His face was super cute and super nice. You can

681
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: see he's a kind of person. I saw him and

682
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, ooh cute. And then

683
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, you know, I might stay a

684
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 1: little longer, but I'm just thinking more than an hour

685
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 1: and pick up my swimsuit. Yeah, before I knew it, it

686
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: was like three am and I needed a place to sleep,

687
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 1: and I stayed and then I woke up and he

688
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 1: just you know, it was just like a whirlwind, the

689
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 1: fun and festivities and but you know, I'm not gonna lie.

690
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 1: I've been around a long time and that wasn't you know,

691
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,400
Speaker 1: that's happened before, So I didn't know. You just don't

692
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:13,279
Speaker 1: know because people suck you in and they're really nice

693
00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 1: because they want to be close to you, and then

694
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:17,600
Speaker 1: eventually they show their true colors and then it's too

695
00:34:17,680 --> 00:34:18,320
Speaker 1: late because.

696
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 2: You're already in. Don't you think that's so? But it

697
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 2: worked out for me, That's what I was going to say.

698
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:23,520
Speaker 1: Worked.

699
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 2: What advice would you give, because I mean, this was

700
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:29,280
Speaker 2: this question. Thank you Carmen for your question. This class

701
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:34,600
Speaker 2: question was from arisol and directly, so I feel like

702
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 2: what Krmen's trying to say is like you weren't scared,

703
00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 2: like you just kind of like inta, like you gave

704
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 2: him that opportunity and just you know, you say said yourself,

705
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 2: you stayed here for three days and you never.

706
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,800
Speaker 1: Want listen dating in Miami, you cannot have fear. I

707
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 1: had lost my fear a long time ago. By the

708
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:54,800
Speaker 1: time I came turned twenty one. Yeah, I started to

709
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: learn you can where you were going. So in case,

710
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 1: I had your back. Really, why are we calling all

711
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:03,440
Speaker 1: my friends? Said worse? Marisoon each other your friends.

712
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 2: Of course you're worried about I knew that you like

713
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:07,799
Speaker 2: them because I know that that's like what you do.

714
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:14,640
Speaker 1: He's in the other room, forgot about Listen. It was

715
00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,839
Speaker 1: a beautiful surprise. And I cannot tell you when you

716
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 1: know off the bat. It takes time. It takes time

717
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 1: because people give you their best behavior, and then they

718
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:27,799
Speaker 1: read that they reveal themselves over time. Listen. I was

719
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,479
Speaker 1: ready the day I was born to meet somebody nice

720
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: and have a nice relationship. But it didn't work out

721
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 1: that way. It didn't work out that way until I

722
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 1: met him. And I have this that I feel like

723
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,800
Speaker 1: when the first half of your life is really great,

724
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 1: you have a nice relationship, you build a family, and

725
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:52,360
Speaker 1: you're happy, the second half is harder. Sometimes that second

726
00:35:52,400 --> 00:35:55,040
Speaker 1: half is harder. My first half was really hard and

727
00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:57,640
Speaker 1: my second half is going well. I think that you

728
00:35:57,680 --> 00:35:58,920
Speaker 1: get a half life.

729
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,759
Speaker 2: We talked about it the girls the other day weber

730
00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 2: you don't remember with Lars and Julia as we drank

731
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 2: and smoked our cigarettes. Actually that was one of that's

732
00:36:08,080 --> 00:36:10,399
Speaker 2: what we said and and you.

733
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 1: Know, I do believe that you have a point there.

734
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:13,879
Speaker 1: There's some truth to that.

735
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 2: So thank you to all of our fans for all

736
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 2: the relationship questions. I know that we are not experts,

737
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 2: but we think we are even know we we do

738
00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 2: have a lot of knowledge and wisdom and lessons that

739
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 2: we've learned and we love to share them with you.

740
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 2: We were We are going to jump onto the next

741
00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 2: set of questions, and it's about health and beauty.

742
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 1: Not anything I'm good at.

743
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 2: Are healthy and beautiful.

744
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 1: Thanks, my friend. What's something that you should hate about

745
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 1: your body but you secretly love my chicken legs? It's true,

746
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:54,399
Speaker 1: I love my chicken legs. Yeah that's just me though,

747
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:58,040
Speaker 1: but it says very thin legs. For those who don't

748
00:36:58,080 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 1: know me, and I actually want.

749
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 2: People might say that, like, well, you would like hate

750
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,279
Speaker 2: your legs, but you secretly love them.

751
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:07,799
Speaker 1: I think that's amazing. M yeah I do. I do.

752
00:37:08,040 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 1: What about you? What about me? That's a hard one

753
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,280
Speaker 1: for you.

754
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 2: My legs, because I always wanted your checking legs by

755
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:17,320
Speaker 2: the way.

756
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 1: Really last You're always like they're so.

757
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 2: Skinny, But like you said, I felt like I want

758
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 2: them like I was wanting long skinny legs, and I'm like, whatever, legs.

759
00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 2: I really didn't like my legs, but I secretly don't

760
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:30,280
Speaker 2: love them.

761
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't hate mine. They could be a

762
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 1: little more tone, but I don't know if we're going

763
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:39,040
Speaker 1: to pick something. And then are there any beauty I.

764
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:40,600
Speaker 2: Didn't hit my boat when I was growing up because

765
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 2: nobody had like a like a bun when I was

766
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 2: going on, well, but I'm just saying like, but you know,

767
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,919
Speaker 2: like I secretly I'm like why but back in the day,

768
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 2: nobody had like big legs and a big bun, So, like,

769
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 2: you know, I didn't like it because I was growing

770
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:00,320
Speaker 2: up during those times, were like that was not like attract.

771
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the face was doing all the works.

772
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,840
Speaker 2: And then but then the secretly I was like, I

773
00:38:04,920 --> 00:38:07,080
Speaker 2: kind of like my boy, I don't know, nobody likes it,

774
00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:07,839
Speaker 2: but I like it.

775
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,799
Speaker 1: I'm sure nobody said they didn't like it.

776
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 2: Are there any beauty hacks that men have taught you

777
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:18,160
Speaker 2: that's funny, either from your partner or someone you dated

778
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 2: or friend. We love these questions, Beauty Hawk a friend Toppy.

779
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:29,920
Speaker 2: You know, there's a lot of metro sexual guys out

780
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 2: there that have a lot of great beauty tricks.

781
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:35,760
Speaker 1: I don't use men's beauty tips.

782
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:39,000
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm kind of wondering. No, you know what, My

783
00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 2: guys have been pretty like not so much into beauty,

784
00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 2: So we don't have an answer for that one. Guys, Yeah,

785
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,880
Speaker 2: but we'll get back. Are there any beauty hacks that

786
00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:53,360
Speaker 2: men have taught you, either from your partner or someone

787
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 2: you dated or friend.

788
00:38:57,000 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 1: No, I don't have one. I can't's right now.

789
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 2: I can't even stand like a guy that looks in

790
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,360
Speaker 2: numbror more than I do. Have you ever dated some

791
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 2: guys like that that with.

792
00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:10,959
Speaker 1: No?

793
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:12,760
Speaker 2: Okay, good, because that's a bad sign.

794
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:16,839
Speaker 1: Don't do gay friends that do that, but not him?

795
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 1: I know. Yeah.

796
00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:21,400
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, well you should never date a guy that

797
00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,279
Speaker 2: has beauty tips.

798
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a that's a red flag. Speaking of red flags,

799
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,680
Speaker 1: you should look into that before you get more involved. Okay,

800
00:39:31,719 --> 00:39:32,680
Speaker 1: Well that was fun.

801
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:36,760
Speaker 2: Ask us anything. I mean, we're so open, we're so free,

802
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 2: we are freestyling.

803
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:39,280
Speaker 1: You can ask us anything.

804
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 2: Until next time.

805
00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening.

806
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 4: If thanks for listening, follow us on Instagram at iPort

807
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 4: for podcast. Make sure to write us a review and

808
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,640
Speaker 4: leave us five stars.

809
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 1: At all a proxima