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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

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Speaker 1: I'm Meela, and it's Wednesday.

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Speaker 2: Happy Wednesday, y'all.

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Speaker 1: You know all month, well all year, all the time,

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Speaker 1: but really this month we really wanted to focus on

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Speaker 1: community friendship. And we all know that it takes a

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Speaker 1: village to raise a woman a mother. Friends, it's you

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Speaker 1: need people, you need your people. We have two really

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Speaker 1: special guests, one who I just met today and really

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Speaker 1: haven't said much to, but I'm about to. We're about

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Speaker 1: to dig in, and and another friend of the show

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Speaker 1: that's come on. We have Jade from the Getting Grown podcast.

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Speaker 1: And we have friends I'm the friend Zone real life

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Speaker 1: friends by the way, yes, which is which I thought

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Speaker 1: was really cool. I was like, how what two homies

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Speaker 1: can I get from from pods that are really real

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Speaker 1: friends in real life to come on and talk. Because

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Speaker 1: me and Mila, we are basically married, We're in platonic love.

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Speaker 1: We've recently discussed even maybe having a baby together.

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Speaker 3: I love it.

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Speaker 4: We raise our kids together right now. I mean these

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Speaker 4: were these were done separately, but it's working out perfect

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Speaker 4: because apparently the divine had us in mind. They're both

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Speaker 4: the same age, both girls, and they love each other

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Speaker 4: and they're best friends. So like, there is a bigger

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Speaker 4: there was a bigger thing in happening when we got pregnant.

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Speaker 4: We didn't know it yet, but yeah, we like we

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Speaker 4: take our kids on vacation together. They're in camp together

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Speaker 4: right now. We're like, okay, honey, so what camp.

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Speaker 2: Do you think is best for the girls? Okay, what

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Speaker 2: do you think we should get?

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Speaker 3: The camp?

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Speaker 4: Oh my god, we went on vacation. We're like, we're

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Speaker 4: gonna have a kid for you two weeks. We're like,

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Speaker 4: we're gonna have to bring the kids back and a guess.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, yeah, but the tickets right now, honey? Even

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Speaker 4: need this Airbnb? I'm like, damn, we're fucking married for real.

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Speaker 4: People think we lesbian together, but we really don't. I mean,

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Speaker 4: it would be perfect if we could just lesbian together,

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Speaker 4: because we'd have.

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Speaker 1: Not wet lesbian together, lesbian together.

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Speaker 2: We will lesbian separately. We have lesbian separately, just not together.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if it will work. It's good, but yeah, get.

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Speaker 3: A little complicated. It might get complicated.

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Speaker 2: You know, sex complicates things.

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Speaker 3: So this this is truly really platonic.

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Speaker 2: Let's keep it platonic.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, we wanted to really talk about our tribe

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Speaker 4: and just divine friendship and how important it is because

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Speaker 4: I feel like it's this relationship even though it started

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Speaker 4: kind of in business, even though when we started a podcast,

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Speaker 4: we were just we didn't know we were starting a business.

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Speaker 2: We're just like, let's do something.

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Speaker 4: It really is it seemed to be bigger than us,

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Speaker 4: you know, like the friendship, our girls being the same age,

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Speaker 4: our platonic marriage. So like, how did you guys meet?

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Speaker 4: What is your cause you guys are both the New

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Speaker 4: York natives right, Yes we are.

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Speaker 3: I don't even know how we met, to be honest,

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Speaker 3: we just run rins.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we had mutual friends. I know, I've been friends

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Speaker 5: I think with Kid Fury the longest because we did

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Speaker 5: YouTube at the same time, so we kind of came

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Speaker 5: up at the same time and he was already friends

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Speaker 5: with like Crystal and Jade and Dustin and a lot

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Speaker 5: of other our friend groups and they kind of just

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Speaker 5: brought me in. But I can't pick like a specific

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Speaker 5: day or event. I think it was just from being

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Speaker 5: around each other. Yeah, and we are kind of like

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Speaker 5: the hippies of the crew.

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Speaker 2: Our people. Yeah, we're like, we're.

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Speaker 5: Very into like our interests intersect a lot, and so

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Speaker 5: we found ourselves calling each other more, seeing each other

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Speaker 5: more outside of the friend group, and really, I think

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Speaker 5: it's turned into just like a full blown sisterhood village

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Speaker 5: outside of a friendship five minutes away from each other.

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Speaker 5: I moved from Harlem, which I've grew up and lived

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Speaker 5: my whole life, and moved to Brooklyn, which I never

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Speaker 5: thought I would do. And it was crazy because I

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Speaker 5: called her and was like, Yo, I just checked out

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Speaker 5: this bomb apartment.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna come see you.

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Speaker 5: And she's like, oh, here's my address, put it in

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Speaker 5: the maps and it was five minutes.

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Speaker 3: Away, and you were like done.

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Speaker 6: And I told her, I was like, this is an apartment,

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Speaker 6: like something.

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Speaker 5: For that to have pulled me to Brooklyn and then

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Speaker 5: it's five minutes from her, I didn't even question it.

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Speaker 5: Moved in same thing with Crystal, so we all just

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Speaker 5: kind of started our our college campus in a way.

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Speaker 4: Not quite dorm roomies, but down the street that's close

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Speaker 4: enough exactly.

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Speaker 3: And when I get divorced, we talked about it often.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna have a job I'm just playing.

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Speaker 5: I know I'm not a sucker, but but we're going

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Speaker 5: to start a compound though.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, can we move into the compound? Yeah, they bring

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Speaker 3: your gifts. Yeah, that's all. That's all it takes. I

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Speaker 3: could do eyelashes important.

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Speaker 2: And dance moves.

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Speaker 3: I could.

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Speaker 2: I could dance in the mornings and do lashes at night.

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Speaker 3: So I know, I was watched.

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Speaker 1: I was looking at your actually I was looking at

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Speaker 1: your Instagram and I saw this like super cute video

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Speaker 1: that you did with Jade's daughter for RITZ and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, this is adorable. Like and

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Speaker 1: that's what I talk about, Like we talked about our tribe.

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Speaker 1: Like for example, we were out of town and uh,

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Speaker 1: basically my whole schedule.

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Speaker 5: The person I thought was going to be responsible for

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Speaker 5: my child was not going to be responsible for my child.

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Speaker 1: And so I really had to lean on my friends. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like step in and take care because I don't have

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Speaker 1: the typical setup of like a grandparent that's in the

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Speaker 1: state or that's you know, is grandparenting. Shout out to

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Speaker 1: my mom. She's an amazing grandparent, but she's also a

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Speaker 1: CEO and she's very.

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Speaker 3: Very busy. She don't have grandmativity.

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Speaker 5: Is like, but she's she's a boss small.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, It's like yeo, I got a board meeting. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: but like, is that someone I'm assuming? A friend is

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Speaker 1: someone that you can you can lean.

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Speaker 5: On a special Absolutely. I can leave my child with friend.

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Speaker 5: I can leave my cat with friends.

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Speaker 3: I love my cat with friend, your cat child.

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Speaker 5: And then she texted me after my cat came back home.

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Speaker 5: It was like she's calling me from the bathroom. She'd

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Speaker 5: like to come over, but I can take I can

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Speaker 5: take no over there. We were actually making plans on

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Speaker 5: the way here. She's gonna take her in a.

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Speaker 3: Couple of weeks. Yeah, perfect. Yeah, they're gonna go do activity, yeah,

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Speaker 3: camping stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So this is like this is my village. This is

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Speaker 3: who I trust.

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Speaker 5: My child can sleep at her house, Like, this is

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Speaker 5: my village, this is my community.

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Speaker 1: How do you think like your ideas of like what

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Speaker 1: you look for and a friend have changed over like

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Speaker 1: maybe from like your twenties to to your thirties, Like

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Speaker 1: what has what was like the what was like the

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Speaker 1: requirement then versus now not.

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Speaker 5: Having I think that was the biggest shift for me.

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Speaker 5: It was like we like to party, like you're a

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Speaker 5: cute girl. I'm a cute girl. We like the same places.

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Speaker 5: Bet I'll meet you there, And it just was more

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Speaker 5: of a social friendships, like I only saw you when

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Speaker 5: we went out to certain places, but I can't say

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Speaker 5: that like you knew about what I was going through

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Speaker 5: or even my family, you know. But then as I

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Speaker 5: as my consciousness cracked open, I started looking for different

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Speaker 5: things in different people and my friend groups, it was

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Speaker 5: like what.

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Speaker 3: Are we talking about?

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Speaker 5: You know, what are the conversations? Not saying that everything

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Speaker 5: has to be, like what are our goals? Because sometimes

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Speaker 5: you just want to chill out the couch and watch TV. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: but I like to have friendships that have range, you know,

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Speaker 5: like I want to watch Love After lock Up on

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Speaker 5: the couch with you and eat gummies. But I also

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Speaker 5: want to figure out how we can get Noah in

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Speaker 5: a RITZ campaign, you know, and figuring out like what

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Speaker 5: tools and skill sets can I offer you for your

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Speaker 5: growth and vice versa and also spiritual growth, like oh

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Speaker 5: I can we can get down with some good nigga shit. Man,

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Speaker 5: friend of two little girls. We love some good nigga shit.

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Speaker 5: We love nigga jokes and gifts. We text each other

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Speaker 5: like problematic joker today. But then on the other hand,

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Speaker 5: I can call a friend and say, bitch, there was

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Speaker 5: a raven outside my window for.

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Speaker 3: Saying, we break it down and we will talk about

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Speaker 3: spirit for hours.

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Speaker 5: But it's like a beautiful it's a beautiful range relationship.

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Speaker 5: And that's what I feel that I'm most drawn to,

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Speaker 5: being able to be my full self in your presence.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, yeah, I think that in your journey, like especially

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Speaker 1: in our journey and even through this podcast, I think

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Speaker 1: I've really found myself in such a major way.

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Speaker 3: I think after having a child.

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Speaker 1: For having a child, a lot of my identity was

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Speaker 1: wrapped in who I was with and trying to but

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Speaker 1: also I was I did have an identity, but I

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Speaker 1: was still trying to figure it out. A lot of

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Speaker 1: insecurity is happening. He was very he knew exactly what

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Speaker 1: he who he was, and what he was doing, and

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Speaker 1: I felt so insecure that I didn't. And so I

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Speaker 1: was like, let me just elevate you because you seem

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Speaker 1: like you're doing.

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Speaker 3: Really good over here.

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Speaker 1: Too loud, and and then kind of stepping into you know,

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Speaker 1: this space and feeling really empowered and learning so much

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Speaker 1: about myself as a woman outside of being a mother

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Speaker 1: has really been eye opening, but also has has made

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Speaker 1: a lot of people kind of fall to the wayside too,

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Speaker 1: Like you have like these casualties of like friendships, Yeah, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: especially ones that you're like, oh no, like looking back, especially,

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Speaker 1: I think of one specifically where I'm like, oh no,

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Speaker 1: this we're gonna be old.

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Speaker 3: And gray together.

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Speaker 1: And then you know, life does what it does, and

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Speaker 1: it's like, oh no, this person no longer serves you

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Speaker 1: because now you're walking in a different spaces and I

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to ask you a friend because I

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Speaker 1: know you are really work a lot in the wellness space,

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Speaker 1: and I know you've been in I think I started

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Speaker 1: following YouTube like like a pretty long time ago, maybe

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Speaker 1: like eight or nine years ago.

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Speaker 5: I'm like twelve years in, and I think I started

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Speaker 5: following it because I was trying to figure out what

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Speaker 5: the fuck to do with the hair sounds, right. I

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Speaker 5: was like, this hair is dry hair, hair tips and

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Speaker 5: look at us now, right because moisturized curl.

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Speaker 1: What kind of like how did you transition from that

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Speaker 1: into kind of like walking into the space that you're

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Speaker 1: in now.

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Speaker 6: It was always, uh, like I didn't plan any of this.

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Speaker 5: I definitely wasn't because I got in the game in

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Speaker 5: nine influencers and making money wasn't a thing.

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Speaker 3: We were literally just.

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Speaker 5: Like on YouTube and our living rooms, talking to the

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Speaker 5: camera just for the love it and for me. I

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Speaker 5: had had an illness, I'd been dealing with some kidney

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Speaker 5: complications and was just sharing and documenting the little shifts

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Speaker 5: I was making in my life to try to get better.

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Speaker 5: And on Tumblr when Tumblr was like popping and you know,

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Speaker 5: had like one hundred thousand followers on Tumblr. And then

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Speaker 5: my friend Francesca Ramsay known as Chesca Lee, she was

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Speaker 5: already killing it on YouTube and she was like, I

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Speaker 5: think you would be so cute on YouTube.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I don't know, I'm sensitive.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 2: Wait's your birthday.

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Speaker 6: Taurus, April twenty fourth, Oh my god, one day before

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Speaker 6: my baby.

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Speaker 3: Oh she's awesome.

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Speaker 5: And I'll tell me about yourself, tell me more I

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Speaker 5: need to know. I'll tell me about your past self

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Speaker 5: who was a child because your parents have done Better's

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Speaker 5: talk now. But honestly, I think the cool thing has

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Speaker 5: been just staying open to all the changes. Like when

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Speaker 5: Chesca Lee was like come to YouTube, I went to

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Speaker 5: YouTube and then in a Sante really put the bug

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Speaker 5: in my ear for transitioning to podcasting. And then my

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Speaker 5: friend Miriam Haznea, who's like an incredible healer and practitioner,

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Speaker 5: me and her got together and started touring getting black

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Speaker 5: practitioners in the wellness field because they tend.

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Speaker 6: To be overlooked, giving them jobs.

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Speaker 3: And we went on.

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Speaker 5: A fifteen sixteen city tour for three years, just touring

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Speaker 5: the world and bringing this information to the neighborhoods that

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Speaker 5: we felt like needed the access. And so it's just

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Speaker 5: staying open, like I didn't plan any of it, but

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Speaker 5: I also couldn't have designed any of this, you know,

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Speaker 5: and just kind of like seeing what things look like,

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Speaker 5: following the breadcrumbs and just going with it, and everything

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Speaker 5: has just been so awesome.

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Speaker 4: I love what you said about like as your consciousness

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Speaker 4: cracked open, you know. I think sometimes you start friendships

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Speaker 4: with people since kindergarten or first grade, and you'd be

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Speaker 4: friends with some people so long.

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Speaker 2: That you don't think twice about it.

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Speaker 4: You continue to just be friends with them, and you

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Speaker 4: expect we're going to grow own together.

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Speaker 2: And sometimes I feel like.

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Speaker 4: Those relationships can be hindering because sometimes you believe what

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Speaker 4: everybody believes about you, and it doesn't give you space

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Speaker 4: to grow and to explore. And like even in this space,

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Speaker 4: me and Erica were not very close before we started

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Speaker 4: the podcast, like not close at all, and so we

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Speaker 4: kind of like cracked open this friendship and this like

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Speaker 4: this deepness as we talked on the podcast. But it

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Speaker 4: took me to break away from other friendships for me

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Speaker 4: to kind of stand in my own space.

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Speaker 3: And like it.

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Speaker 4: Sounds silly, like being an influencer and being on the

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Speaker 4: internet telling my business has brought me all my friendships.

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Speaker 4: I mean, hey, there's some real shit that comes with

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Speaker 4: like discover like being honest about who you are and

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Speaker 4: if you're honest and being authentic, and then there's some

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Speaker 4: I feel like there's like some kind of alert you

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Speaker 4: put out into the world as you get as you

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Speaker 4: get to know yourself and you're true to that divine

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Speaker 4: spirit will be like I'm going to deliver you all

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Speaker 4: your people, all your hippie tribe. You want to do

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Speaker 4: weird ship with your friends, here's your weird friend. We're

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Speaker 4: going to sex party with your friend.

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Speaker 2: Here she goes, She'll go, like the radio frequent.

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Speaker 4: Starts and then it sounds so silly, like I have

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Speaker 4: all these internet friends turn real friends, but it's true

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Speaker 4: and it's God.

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Speaker 2: And like even when we left, we had lunch with

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Speaker 2: Jade the other day and I'm.

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Speaker 4: Like, damn, I love Ja, Like I knew she was

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Speaker 4: our people, you know, that's all I got.

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Speaker 3: Talked to her.

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Speaker 2: I've seen her four hundred times.

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Speaker 4: But it's just like constantly through podcasting, just meeting our tribe.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, Damn, there's something so special.

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Speaker 4: But I do realize it's really in releasing sometimes what

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Speaker 4: you who you thought you were or what you were

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Speaker 4: supposed to be, or what your friends think you are,

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Speaker 4: because we grow and we change and that's okay. And

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Speaker 4: sometimes if you're like like construct god Lord my vocabulary.

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Speaker 4: Like if you if you keep yourself in the same

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Speaker 4: friend and you're not open to changing or not open

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Speaker 4: to meeting new people, you rarely get to like go

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Speaker 4: on full bloom and find your troope tribe because you

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Speaker 4: change and you grow, and it's okay to like shed

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Speaker 4: old relationships and gain new ones and like come into

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Speaker 4: yourself more so I think that's dope.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, Well, listen, I've heard I've heard people say all

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Speaker 5: kinds of things. Jade and friends start hanging out. We

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Speaker 5: start hanging out years ago, but now we don't kick

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Speaker 5: it as much because I don't like you hoes like that.

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Speaker 5: No more outgrew that. I outgrew you, and that's okay.

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Speaker 5: You can outgrow me too, Like we just not on

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Speaker 5: the same shit anymore. And I think people need to

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Speaker 5: stop getting offended and lean into where they are at

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Speaker 5: life and find your own tribe.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna be all right.

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Speaker 5: And you might spend the block on certain people, like

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Speaker 5: they're friendships that for whatever reason, we parted ways, and

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Speaker 5: then you find yourself coming back around in five ten years.

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Speaker 5: You know, maybe you have to go through some things.

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Speaker 5: They had to go through some things, and you're just

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Speaker 5: seeing each other in a completely different light. Same with relationships, friendships,

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Speaker 5: family members. So I really have learned to just give

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Speaker 5: grace for whatever story needs to play out.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 4: I think the most important thing though, above all, is

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Speaker 4: being able to be your true self in any friendship.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to have to like pretend. I don't

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Speaker 4: want to have to be like make you comfortable. I'd

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Speaker 4: be taking my shirt off and you don't like it.

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Speaker 4: We're not that close a.

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Speaker 5: Friend flat pictures. She's like, we're at the nude beach

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Speaker 5: and I'm like, I love you so much.

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Speaker 4: Like you know, and for a long time I was

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Speaker 4: having friends I've known for years and I'm like, like

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Speaker 4: whispering behind my back.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, bitch, my titty has.

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Speaker 2: Been out since the nineties.

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Speaker 4: If you want to be my friend or not, I'm

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Speaker 4: not like. Every time I'm leaving the fucking hangout, I'm like,

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Speaker 4: damn it.

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Speaker 3: Do I need attention? Why are my titties aw that?

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Speaker 3: Do I like her?

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Speaker 2: Nigga?

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Speaker 3: No, No, I don't.

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Speaker 4: I'm just like, damn questioning myself and who I am

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Speaker 4: and shit. But like you know your friends when you

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Speaker 4: don't have to think about who you are and you

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Speaker 4: can go fucking watch Love after lock Up and talk

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Speaker 4: naked shit and also be like.

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Speaker 3: I need have some inner child healing I need to do.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm in a space today and oftentimes.

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Speaker 3: We're in very similar spaces.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so then that will lead to long conversations because.

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Speaker 4: And because it's alignment, like it's just God, sometimes you

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Speaker 4: find your tribe in same spaces because it's just like,

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Speaker 4: oh I needed to hear this message today. M Hmstely,

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Speaker 4: I know you've done like we're obviously google searching you

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Speaker 4: and like you there was something about you did a

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Speaker 4: speech at Emory about how like science and spirituality intersect,

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Speaker 4: like what are your findings in those studies about Like

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Speaker 4: I mean, for me, I feel like it's like the

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Speaker 4: you know, like spirituality is science the same thing.

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Speaker 2: It's just like depending how you look at.

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Speaker 4: It, but like what are how do you think your spirituality?

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Speaker 4: You know, like what are tho some of those things

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Speaker 4: you talk about and that course not course, but that speech.

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Speaker 3: And that's talk. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I mean I think the coolest thing for me is

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Speaker 5: when you're that woo woo friend or spiritual friend, because

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Speaker 5: I respect science, I respect the WU. To me, it's

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Speaker 5: we need all of it, you know, And I think

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Speaker 5: there's always this.

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Speaker 3: Resistance on either side.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's like I don't really understand why they

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Speaker 5: can't be integrated. And so the speech that I gave

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Speaker 5: was really just about you know, you'll see magazines with

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Speaker 5: groundbreaking studies and science and it'll be like about your

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Speaker 5: inner voice, our intuition, and it's like I just wish

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Speaker 5: people respected ancient wisdoms for what they are and not. Uh,

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Speaker 5: there's so there have been so many people that have

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Speaker 5: been like I can't believe you talk about yoga or

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Speaker 5: this and that and it's the devil's worship and it's

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Speaker 5: like no one wants to just respect different interests.

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Speaker 3: Yoga.

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Speaker 5: I mean, the Christians online used to give me as

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Speaker 5: what and it became so overwhelming that I noticed I

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Speaker 5: kind of would pull back certain posts and then I

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Speaker 5: had to check myself, like, well, I'm not going to

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Speaker 5: stifle my growth and my interests because you know it's

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Speaker 5: not being well received by the masses online. But I

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Speaker 5: think science especially, I found like when I would get

401
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 5: into that intuitive bag on the podcast, the science people

402
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,600
Speaker 5: would be like, well I was reading this, and it's

403
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Speaker 5: like that's great for you, but this is what I'm

404
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Speaker 5: experiencing as my reality, and I have the right to

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Speaker 5: explore that.

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Speaker 4: You know, being like to women from New York and

407
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Speaker 4: like being black women, how have you come to your hippiness?

408
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Speaker 4: You know, like I'm a very like hippie, heavy breathing,

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Speaker 4: moaning type of bitch and like I've always kind of

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Speaker 4: just been who I am and had freedom enjoying that.

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Speaker 4: But like, just like you talk about people coming like

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Speaker 4: the Christians coming for you for yoga, and like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: that is that is that your make Obviously that's your commonplace,

414
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Speaker 4: wanting for your commonplace. Is that has that always been

415
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Speaker 4: your your your upbringing or is that just something that

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Speaker 4: you've you've tapped into as in adulthood.

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Speaker 5: I well, my parents are interesting. So they're like hippie niggas.

418
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Speaker 5: They are they always they are, They always have been.

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Speaker 5: My father was raising the projects like but they as

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Speaker 5: soon as they got them some land, he grew his bamboo.

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Speaker 5: He wanted to like swim naked. He's really he is.

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Speaker 5: He's a tour My father's a tourist, and my mother's

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Speaker 5: virgo and they all all of a sudden switched to

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Speaker 5: the brown rice and the coconut oil for your joints,

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Speaker 5: and the apple cider vinegar and juicing the vegetables. I

426
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 5: think I was like twelve or thirteen, and he came

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Speaker 5: home and said, we drinking our vegetables from now and

428
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Speaker 5: that's what we're doing. And we were like okay, nigga,

429
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Speaker 5: like you.

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Speaker 2: Like what is this?

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Speaker 5: He was like it beats kale, celery, apples and carrots,

432
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Speaker 5: and we were like okay, all right, and then like

433
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Speaker 5: as a tree, he would take us the whole food

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Speaker 5: to get us a red, white.

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Speaker 3: And blue smoothie.

436
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Speaker 5: So like it's been a nice like balance with my

437
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:12,679
Speaker 5: family as far as that's concerned. I know, my family

438
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Speaker 5: was not into none of this shit. They you know,

439
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Speaker 5: I'm from the Caribbean, so they don't play.

440
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Speaker 3: With the demons some parts. You know.

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Speaker 5: My grandmother, you know, I would witness her practices, but

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Speaker 5: it was very hidden, you know, like I would wake

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Speaker 5: up and have an egg and a bowl under my bed,

444
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 5: and I didn't ask questions.

445
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:33,480
Speaker 3: I was like, I trust whatever protection.

446
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 5: She's creative for me. That's who my grandma is. But

447
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:40,879
Speaker 5: she never really got to shine fully in her practices,

448
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:45,359
Speaker 5: which was unfortunate because my family just wasn't having it

449
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 5: for the most part. But I was observant and I

450
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 5: was just always drawn to nature, even as a kid,

451
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,520
Speaker 5: like I ended up going to a school cal Manhattan

452
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 5: Country School, where part of the curriculum was that you

453
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 5: had to shear and then put the wool into a loom.

454
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,840
Speaker 3: And make a blanket or they have sheep in Manhattan.

455
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:12,399
Speaker 5: No, no, no, they would driving to the cow so

456
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:17,160
Speaker 5: part of the year year in this school unless chick,

457
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:20,320
Speaker 5: I mean most of us having our backyund but you

458
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 5: have you know, part of the curriculum you're in Manhattan,

459
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:25,520
Speaker 5: and then the other part you're in the cat skills

460
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 5: in the farm, and you had to learn life skills.

461
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 3: I had to wake up at five.

462
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 5: Am at like thirteen years old go into the chicken

463
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,640
Speaker 5: coop because house we have made breakfast, you know, and

464
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,159
Speaker 5: making clothes for each other. And I was just like,

465
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,880
Speaker 5: this is awesome because I'm you know, I just got

466
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 5: out of the projects. What when I was twenty six,

467
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:48,560
Speaker 5: Like I'm not that far removed, and so to have

468
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,800
Speaker 5: those experiences and even the summers in the Caribbean, like

469
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:56,240
Speaker 5: I just always had it around me, and very quickly,

470
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,440
Speaker 5: UH could see that I can play in all worlds.

471
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 5: Like you put me in fast paced, highly successful boss mode,

472
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,280
Speaker 5: I'm gonna do it, but you put me in nature

473
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,399
Speaker 5: to just be in silence, I'm gonna do it. And

474
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 5: I feel called to absolutely everything. But now as I'm

475
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:15,640
Speaker 5: getting older, the calling is shifting where I'm less interested

476
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 5: in the markers of success that people tend to look for,

477
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 5: and it's more of an internal success. Like I love

478
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 5: how beautiful my friendships are my partnership is amazing, working

479
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 5: on relationships with my mom and to me, those markers

480
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 5: of success are way more interesting to me as of late.

481
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 5: And so I'm just kind of going in that direction.

482
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 2: Following your intuition.

483
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,399
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's how I'm headed to Oregon in the fall.

484
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 3: I'm leaving New York. You're moving. Yeah, oh wow, I'm

485
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 3: gonna get my land and just chill out. Yeah. Congratulations,

486
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 3: thank you. I appreciate that's so beautiful, Mela.

487
00:23:54,119 --> 00:23:56,119
Speaker 1: So we just went to Costa Rica, like we said,

488
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 1: and we had a simple well I think it's the

489
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:02,960
Speaker 1: beginning of a ship for us. And I was telling

490
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,240
Speaker 1: me that when we're there, because we were there, we're like, man, like,

491
00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 1: we don't.

492
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,120
Speaker 3: You don't really need a lot.

493
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,320
Speaker 1: You live a good life, yeah, to be happy. Like

494
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,640
Speaker 1: these people on the out there are just they're so beautiful,

495
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:18,439
Speaker 1: they're so vibrant, and they don't have all the things

496
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 1: that I'm Sometimes i feel like I'm working so hard

497
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: for these benchmarks and success, not even or these items

498
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 1: that I'm not going to die with, or like providing

499
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,360
Speaker 1: certain things for my child that don't she doesn't even

500
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:36,439
Speaker 1: give a fuck, you know, you know, and you her

501
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,320
Speaker 1: a birthday party.

502
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, but so much money, and she just

503
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 5: like and just wanted to play in the pool. I

504
00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:47,480
Speaker 5: was like, but look at this.

505
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:47,880
Speaker 3: I don't do that no more. I think I'm done.

506
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 3: We go to the park and have a bar.

507
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,399
Speaker 1: Last yeah, but yeah, And like I think I was

508
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 1: telling her when we're there, I was like, it's so

509
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: easy to come back to your fast paced life and

510
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:03,639
Speaker 1: kind of forget the feeling that you felt while you

511
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 1: were there.

512
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:05,520
Speaker 3: And I know I've done it. I've done it at

513
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:06,440
Speaker 3: least ten times.

514
00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,199
Speaker 1: I know I've gone to different places and been like

515
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:10,159
Speaker 1: this is it, Like I can feel it, and then

516
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,120
Speaker 1: I come home and I'm right back into the mix.

517
00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 6: I mean, it's so easy to jump back in.

518
00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,040
Speaker 5: And I think one thing. My best friend shout out

519
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 5: to Claude Kelly. We've been friends since we were like preteens,

520
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 5: and he became a millionaire really early. I think he

521
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,880
Speaker 5: was like Pride twenty and I was.

522
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 3: Like, whoa, we were both thank you, yo.

523
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 5: He's like riding for Kelly Clarkson and Britney Spears and

524
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 5: his life just changed.

525
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 3: And I remember going from like.

526
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 5: Us splitting a salad and jumping over turnstiles on the

527
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 5: chain to him being like, yo, you got to see

528
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 5: my new crib and it was like overlooking you know,

529
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,120
Speaker 5: the city, it was lake and it was just like

530
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 5: I remember looking at him and we both cried because

531
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:57,360
Speaker 5: it was like you made it. But then very quickly

532
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,680
Speaker 5: it was like what did I make exactly? Because he

533
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 5: realized this actually didn't make me feel any different. I

534
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,239
Speaker 5: was just happy to change how I'm being perceived, like

535
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 5: it changed how I move in a room, because now

536
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 5: everyone's like, oh, he made it. So it was that

537
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,119
Speaker 5: question of who are you actually doing this for and

538
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,040
Speaker 5: how does it actually feel at the end of the day,

539
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 5: and he gave all that up.

540
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 3: Wow. Now he lives in Nashville.

541
00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,760
Speaker 5: In like a little gated community with his dogs and

542
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,679
Speaker 5: he's chilling. He doesn't write for artists anymore because he

543
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 5: realized that those benchmarks were really for everyone else and

544
00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,320
Speaker 5: he wanted to create a life that was, as my

545
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,199
Speaker 5: friend has says, less of a to do list and

546
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 5: more of a to feel list.

547
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 3: And that shift is very.

548
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 6: Subtle, and it's funny because now everyone's like, oh, you

549
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 6: fell off.

550
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:50,040
Speaker 3: What happened to you, bro?

551
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:53,679
Speaker 5: And he's like, fell off like I'm actually like in

552
00:26:53,760 --> 00:26:56,320
Speaker 5: my bag, but it's just a very different bag than

553
00:26:56,359 --> 00:26:59,400
Speaker 5: what people want to see and are expecting. And it's

554
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:03,200
Speaker 5: very brave, which is sad. It's brave to walk away

555
00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:04,120
Speaker 5: from that program.

556
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:05,080
Speaker 3: It's super brave.

557
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 1: It's very So many people will tell you you're crazy. Absolutely,

558
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 1: it'll be a very small group of people that are

559
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:13,000
Speaker 1: gonna support you. And you know, especially if you are

560
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,719
Speaker 1: I identify who you are based on how people perceive you,

561
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 1: then you're fucked kind.

562
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 3: Oh you're gonna be You're gonna come back to every.

563
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:21,919
Speaker 5: Vacation and be like yeah, yeah, back to it, and

564
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,320
Speaker 5: you're gonna be tired on a soul level because it's

565
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 5: a wheel that you cannot ever catch up to. And

566
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,439
Speaker 5: you know, and speaking about like coming back and I

567
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 5: was telling her, I was like, I want to hold

568
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,680
Speaker 5: us accountable, Like how do we hold each other accountable?

569
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,200
Speaker 5: And like how do you guys hold each other accountable

570
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 5: in your friendship? Like what are some of the ways

571
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,400
Speaker 5: that maybe like you guys check in with each other

572
00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 5: and be like girl, like you said you.

573
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:49,439
Speaker 3: Were going to do this, you're doing that, we do

574
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,240
Speaker 3: we do that? Or you maybe in different ways.

575
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,960
Speaker 5: I can't say that we do. We hold each other

576
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 5: accountable in different ways. Like Jay don't sleep, so I'm

577
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:01,719
Speaker 5: always like like a night, She's just and I like,

578
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:04,719
Speaker 5: do I do a lot of things? Yeah, She's always

579
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:08,240
Speaker 5: on the run between business, mommy, being a wife is

580
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,200
Speaker 5: so many hats that she wears and she doesn't get rest,

581
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 5: and so if anything, I'm the accountability is just like

582
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,959
Speaker 5: are you nourished? You know, like is your body do

583
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 5: you have the capacity to even feed?

584
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,679
Speaker 3: Like do all these things on a week scene basis

585
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,000
Speaker 3: because she'll be on fumes.

586
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 5: It is my twentieth recording of the week one. She's

587
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:34,160
Speaker 5: not exaggerating. That's the thing that's crazy talking. I don't

588
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:38,640
Speaker 5: even know why niggas still listening. But I am like

589
00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 5: on my because we're leaving, so I'm like, okay, we

590
00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 5: gotta double up on then we got a project in

591
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 5: a couple of weeks. Yeah, we're having this meeting. And

592
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 5: that's why I got on that bitch yesterday getting my

593
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 5: hair braided. I was like, all right, well we're gonna

594
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 5: hammer through these details. This doesn't change anything. Everybody carry

595
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 5: on like you know, and it's just I'm moving moving.

596
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 5: So she's very good about being like, did you eat,

597
00:28:58,680 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 5: eat or go to a lot?

598
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 2: Her do this?

599
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 5: And then friend doesn't really cook, she can, but she does.

600
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:09,600
Speaker 5: I'm a lady of leisure. She needs our patch kids,

601
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:12,960
Speaker 5: Like for the evening, it's some kettle chips.

602
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 3: I'd be like, let's get dinner. I'm gonna get us meals.

603
00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get us.

604
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 5: Don't act like I know, no, you don't inside joke

605
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 5: with us. But my partner is a cook, loves to cook.

606
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 5: So I'm very blessed because I'm like, yes, enjoy manifested.

607
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,920
Speaker 5: And actually, because you said that, you were like, I

608
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,200
Speaker 5: need somebody who cooks, and that's exactly what I mean.

609
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,600
Speaker 5: Restaurant and he loves to cook and it's his love language.

610
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 5: I'm like, what a blessing that he gets excited to

611
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:45,960
Speaker 5: feed me because I'm a.

612
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,240
Speaker 3: Torus loves to eat and send pictures.

613
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 1: Wait, hold up, my daughter's a Taurus and she is

614
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 1: picky as fuck, like tauruses love to eat what we love.

615
00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:00,719
Speaker 3: She's gonna come into her own, don't. She's gonna hit

616
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 3: you within same like five days for about three and

617
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 3: a half years.

618
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:08,800
Speaker 5: I'm like, that'll change. She's six, Yeah, she is coming.

619
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 5: Don't even worry about it. Don't even worry about it.

620
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 5: They changed so much.

621
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think there's hope for you.

622
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 4: My bougie ass daughter is a muscle crab eating.

623
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 3: Yeah.

624
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: I took her dinner the other night and we were

625
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:26,320
Speaker 1: at this like, you know, fancy little restaurant, and she

626
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:26,720
Speaker 1: she was.

627
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,880
Speaker 5: Hell bent on the muscles. I was trying to steer

628
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:31,800
Speaker 5: her away. It was like the most it was like

629
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 5: the expensive.

630
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:33,960
Speaker 3: Ship on there. I was like, you sure you don't

631
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 3: what She's like, I want muscle. I know what I want.

632
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:39,400
Speaker 3: I was like, I Meanwhile, my.

633
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:41,640
Speaker 1: Daughter's like, do they have plain spaghetti.

634
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 3: Cool muscles? I love that she wanted in a white

635
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 3: wine song.

636
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:49,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, she did.

637
00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:51,040
Speaker 3: It was white wine song.

638
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: And then I was like the surfer was looking at

639
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 1: me because it's literally one of the ingredients. And I

640
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 1: was like, you have the muscles and white wine and

641
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 1: he's like wine six yeah, I'm like, he said, he's

642
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 1: till he was looking at me like maybe.

643
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:08,719
Speaker 3: I was looking No, no, you'll hit the order as

644
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 3: far as cooked out.

645
00:31:09,880 --> 00:31:18,000
Speaker 4: Appreciate all that shit too, you know. When things for

646
00:31:18,120 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 4: certain and three things for sure. Meila loves an itty

647
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:28,239
Speaker 4: baby bikini baby, I have really curly pubes and that

648
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 4: leads to ingrowns, and ingrowns lead to scarring. But luckily

649
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:33,800
Speaker 4: I've been delivered.

650
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 3: You've been delivered.

651
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 4: God has livered me. Ladies Sweet Botanical Oil. I've been

652
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,240
Speaker 4: using it consistently now for like two years. It's lightened

653
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 4: and brightened my bikini area. I feel better than ever

654
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 4: in the tiniest bikini because I'd be naked, and I

655
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 4: feel like if you also suffer from pubic hair ingrown

656
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:56,840
Speaker 4: scarring insecurity, this is the motherfucking vulba oil for you.

657
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:01,200
Speaker 1: Yes, and it feels good, it smells good. Their products

658
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: are first of all created by a woman back by dermatologists.

659
00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 1: There's no yucky gross ingredients in them, and it actually

660
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,040
Speaker 1: works like this is an ad.

661
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 3: But also the ship fucking works.

662
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,560
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663
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,360
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664
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,640
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665
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,080
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666
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:28,680
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667
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 4: off any order over thirty dollars.

668
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 3: You will not regret this. You're welcome.

669
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: You said you have a partner, Jade, you're married. Me

670
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,840
Speaker 1: and Jimy let both single. Last year we happened to

671
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 1: fall upon were the same perjects. I was literally about

672
00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 1: to ask this, Yes, we have to fall upon boyfriends.

673
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 1: Last year, they're no longer our boyfriend.

674
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:51,680
Speaker 4: I love that I happened to follow upon our manifestations

675
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 4: bodily on.

676
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:54,239
Speaker 3: The same we did.

677
00:32:54,280 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 1: We manifested boyfriends. We wrote it down pyfically like what

678
00:32:57,400 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 1: we wanted. We weren't detailed enough.

679
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 5: There were a lot of missing like bullet points, and

680
00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:01,840
Speaker 5: you got tired of them.

681
00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 3: At the same time.

682
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 5: Expired literally like within weeks they both expired.

683
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,520
Speaker 2: Strong relationship and uh.

684
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 1: And then last like in May, I was like done

685
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 1: with niggas and I was like, I'm going I'm celibate

686
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 1: or I'm abstaining from sex. Yeah, I was like, I'm cool,

687
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,800
Speaker 1: I'm like actions before May. But that's when I actually

688
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:26,600
Speaker 1: I asked my community to join me.

689
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 4: Wait, wait, before you proceed. I just want to know

690
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,800
Speaker 4: because I didn't really like that boyfriend very much. She

691
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 4: got on my motherfucking nerves. There was there was tension.

692
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:38,560
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, he's coming over, you come in.

693
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:43,200
Speaker 4: I was like, Hi, have you ever I know you're married,

694
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,160
Speaker 4: but like, have you ever dated anyone that you just

695
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 4: did not fuck with?

696
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 3: Jade? It's always been kosher. I mean, the only one

697
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 3: that was the cuckoo word.

698
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 5: But but he was so busy that he didn't really

699
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 5: get to me around a lot of my friends is

700
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 5: also a similar we'll talk after and he was just like,

701
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 5: you know, larger than life personality. And it was a

702
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:13,640
Speaker 5: housecape of relationship, but huckily, I mean it was.

703
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:17,439
Speaker 3: Just rough house escape. What does that mean? Healthcare? Yeah,

704
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:17,959
Speaker 3: not house.

705
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 5: And my friends, luckily, I kept them pretty separate.

706
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 3: Like that's how bad it was. So I just wish

707
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 3: bad things on them now.

708
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,319
Speaker 1: And that was what I was getting through, was because

709
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: I told I've told all my friends now because I don't.

710
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:31,719
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't trust myself. I mean I

711
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:33,239
Speaker 1: may not trust myself. But also like I feel like

712
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: my friends need to interview any nigga that comes up.

713
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:38,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, I think my friends, my man or my

714
00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:41,440
Speaker 1: possible man needs to go through like a filter of

715
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:45,439
Speaker 1: friends first to make sure and if that is right,

716
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,480
Speaker 1: and like the dick is not blinding me, and like

717
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,880
Speaker 1: the affection or whatever the fuck he's giving me is

718
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 1: not blinding me because and that's really why I went

719
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 1: on that abstaining journey was because I realized that sex

720
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: was was really confusing me and like making me like

721
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:04,200
Speaker 1: people that I did not like like one hour before. Right,

722
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 1: So is that important to you, like like your friends

723
00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 1: obviously getting along with your partner, getting along with your friends,

724
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 1: because sometimes people are like perfectly happy keeping it separate,

725
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:15,720
Speaker 1: like this is my separate Like, I'll.

726
00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 3: Be honest, it doesn't.

727
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:20,080
Speaker 5: I don't think it's something I need for my friends

728
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 5: to like my partner or even be integrated. To be honest,

729
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:25,160
Speaker 5: a partner I have now that's really this is the

730
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,320
Speaker 5: first time that I have a partner who is friends

731
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,920
Speaker 5: with my friends, Like they have each other's numbers, they

732
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 5: text talk.

733
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 1: But doesn't that feel like in some way some sort

734
00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,880
Speaker 1: of I don't know, it feels good.

735
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 5: It's actually it's been challenging for me because I've been

736
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:47,880
Speaker 5: so used to keeping those worlds separate that now I'm like, oh, okay,

737
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 5: because the thing is, like I've I always preferred being

738
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:53,520
Speaker 5: able to have.

739
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 3: A clean cut if I want to leave you, right,

740
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:58,440
Speaker 3: is that why you prept it separate?

741
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 5: It's just always easier for me because I always viewed

742
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:04,879
Speaker 5: my relationships like I'm just now coming into like really

743
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:09,799
Speaker 5: enjoying monogamy and like fully trusting and like melting into

744
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,840
Speaker 5: each other in a lot of ways, whereas before I

745
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,279
Speaker 5: always had kind of a wall up in my relationships

746
00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:17,840
Speaker 5: where it was like, I'm still you're on audition, you know,

747
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:18,840
Speaker 5: constant audition.

748
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,520
Speaker 3: And I never, really, I can't say that I was.

749
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:25,120
Speaker 5: With someone that I felt like you should be integrated

750
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:28,399
Speaker 5: into the fiber of my life. I just didn't feel

751
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 5: that way about anybody. Same with me before Tristan, I

752
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 5: did not introduce anybody to anybody.

753
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:33,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, never.

754
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 5: My friends didn't meet anybody I was dating fucking nothing.

755
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 5: They were just like, I mean, she got business, you know,

756
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,240
Speaker 5: and so when he started coming around.

757
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 3: We were like, oh okay, all right, and she got

758
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 3: a partner.

759
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 5: And so now he like will hang sometimes and then

760
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 5: sometimes he doesn't. We go on our trips and he's

761
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,239
Speaker 5: not always there. He's actually hardly ever there. Yeah, I

762
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:56,879
Speaker 5: see when I come over. But outside of that, yeah,

763
00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:01,719
Speaker 5: I don't think it's I think some people men are

764
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 5: very central to their existence, like it's like their lives

765
00:37:06,360 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 5: revolve around that thing, and I've just never been that

766
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:10,720
Speaker 5: type of person.

767
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,839
Speaker 3: For me, It's like my relationships were an aspect of

768
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 3: my existence, and now I'm learning to.

769
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 5: Like what that looks like when our lives do intersect,

770
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 5: like friends, family, even business. Like, I'm like, oh, this

771
00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:30,160
Speaker 5: is new because it's safe, it's a safe relationship. I

772
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 5: feel very secure and we have such a strong friendship first,

773
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,320
Speaker 5: which I think was the piece that was always missing

774
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:40,359
Speaker 5: where it's like I like you, I actually like I

775
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 5: like you with you, yeah, like if you weren't my partner,

776
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,839
Speaker 5: we'd probably be friends. And to me, that's super cool

777
00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:49,640
Speaker 5: because I actually want him around for things. I want

778
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:52,239
Speaker 5: him to come. Things feel weird if he's not there.

779
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,399
Speaker 5: And I think that that's cool because it's very new

780
00:37:54,440 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 5: for me.

781
00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:55,960
Speaker 3: That's cool, that's exciting.

782
00:37:56,040 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think for me it's not necessarily, it's not

783
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 1: a requirement. It just does make life a little easier.

784
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:08,200
Speaker 1: I think it only highlighted it for me really because.

785
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 3: None of my friends, like.

786
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 5: It was like the immediate, like the first impression with

787
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 5: every single one, it was like it was something was

788
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:27,120
Speaker 5: going wrong and I was like, damn, nigga, Like what

789
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 5: wasn't going to bring you like, let me see his picture.

790
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 3: I want to look at his eyes a little crazy.

791
00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:36,000
Speaker 3: Let me see a picture. I want to see that.

792
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 2: Ask you that's a legitimate question.

793
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:40,320
Speaker 4: You got to look at people in the eyes, actually

794
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:41,319
Speaker 4: the craziest in the eye.

795
00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:43,040
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I want to get my intuition because

796
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 1: he had been kind of like trying to date me

797
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,960
Speaker 1: for a while and I was like, no, you look

798
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 1: a little you look a little corny.

799
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:50,839
Speaker 3: I don't know, and then covid hiten.

800
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:58,200
Speaker 5: And you cod cod cod covid go would fine, don't

801
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 5: do that later, don't ever find yourself into a relationship.

802
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 5: But the abstaining piece because I actually abstained for four years.

803
00:39:06,960 --> 00:39:07,480
Speaker 3: Wow.

804
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 5: For our partner and I we actually dated years ago

805
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 5: and parted ways just because our lives were headed in

806
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:20,360
Speaker 5: two completely different directions. The hay frand hay stuff was

807
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:22,319
Speaker 5: like getting really heavy in my business and I just

808
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,720
Speaker 5: didn't have the I didn't have the presence to give

809
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 5: and he didn't have the presence to give.

810
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 3: So we actually had.

811
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:32,360
Speaker 5: Like a breakup picnic, and funny enough, it was on

812
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 5: fourth of July, so it was like Independence Day.

813
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 6: But it was funny because that's just who we were.

814
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:40,920
Speaker 6: It was like, there's no beef.

815
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 5: Let's just sit and talk about the ways that we

816
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,760
Speaker 5: grew with each other, the things that we would offer,

817
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 5: his advice on things that might help you in the future,

818
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 5: and parted ways did not talk for like four or

819
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 5: five years, and bumped into each other on the street

820
00:39:57,160 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 5: and it was just like, hey, and this time we

821
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:04,840
Speaker 5: have the capacity, and so everything's very different. And I

822
00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,839
Speaker 5: don't know that I would have had that clarity if

823
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,920
Speaker 5: I hadn't taken those four years to kind of like

824
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:13,200
Speaker 5: clear all the energy that was in my body of

825
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:16,959
Speaker 5: everybody else and really knowing like what does what.

826
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:20,520
Speaker 3: Do I feel like? Like just me without the gaze

827
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 3: of anyone else.

828
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:25,160
Speaker 1: I would imagine though too, like even like breaking the

829
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:29,720
Speaker 1: abstinence too, Like it's something like overwhelming, yeah, and overwhelm,

830
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:30,479
Speaker 1: especially if you've.

831
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:31,120
Speaker 3: Been doing it for four years.

832
00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:34,359
Speaker 5: Absolutely, because I had to kind of catch myself because

833
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 5: I was like, I'm gonna end up making this a

834
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,879
Speaker 5: bigger thing than it needs to be, because then you're

835
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 5: like you don't deserve it, and it's like, well, I

836
00:40:40,760 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 5: don't want to be one hundred years old, you know,

837
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:44,560
Speaker 5: still at.

838
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:49,959
Speaker 3: Home, Like no one deserves it. I'm still like young

839
00:40:50,080 --> 00:40:50,799
Speaker 3: woman that.

840
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:53,480
Speaker 5: Should be having fun and experiencing. So I was like, okay,

841
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:55,520
Speaker 5: don't make this a thing frame because once it hit

842
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:59,640
Speaker 5: four years, I wasn't planning on that long. But it's

843
00:40:59,680 --> 00:41:02,440
Speaker 5: just like what was being asked of me physically, and

844
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 5: I just kind of went with it. And yeah, when

845
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 5: I finally broke that, it was like whoa.

846
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:14,760
Speaker 3: Day, but it was, yeah, we do look a friend.

847
00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 5: It's so nice to look at it, glowy, that was

848
00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 5: glowing right. So, but it was so wonderful because it's

849
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,960
Speaker 5: like I spent so much time with myself, which I

850
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:28,320
Speaker 5: feel like I had never done.

851
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 1: I think that's a big part of two about like,

852
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 1: you know, knowing how to cultivate friendships is really also

853
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:37,760
Speaker 1: knowing how to cultivate the friendship with yourself.

854
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 3: Absolutely.

855
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:41,080
Speaker 6: I mean that's the foundation of all the other ones,

856
00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:41,400
Speaker 6: because so.

857
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,120
Speaker 1: Often we avoid ourselves, like I was saying in my

858
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 1: relationship and even in friendships, we avoid ourselves in friendships

859
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,799
Speaker 1: early twenties, avoiding ourselves just let's go out, let's go out,

860
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 1: let's not talk about shit, let's just do this, And

861
00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,440
Speaker 1: even in our thirties and forties, and fifties, people are

862
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:56,360
Speaker 1: still avoiding in friendships.

863
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 3: It's so it's so easy to do that. I mean,

864
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:00,400
Speaker 3: I don't know.

865
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 1: I think I look at my daughter now and I'm like,

866
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,880
Speaker 1: what tools do I give you now to like offset

867
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 1: some of this shit.

868
00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:14,080
Speaker 4: Escapism that we all can fall into so easily in adulthood.

869
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I love escapism. I'm a fan of it.

870
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:21,240
Speaker 5: I think it's just a matterum, you know. Like COVID

871
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:24,120
Speaker 5: I had to play into escapism quite a lot because

872
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,920
Speaker 5: it was like, holy shit, what is going on in

873
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:30,400
Speaker 5: the world, and just trying to like keep your equilibrium.

874
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 5: But I think that it's like less about feeling bad

875
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:36,759
Speaker 5: about when you need to and just kind of acknowledging

876
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 5: that you have a lot of different parts of you

877
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:42,560
Speaker 5: that need to be tended to. And sometimes it is

878
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 5: just sitting and watching Love after lock Up for ten

879
00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,719
Speaker 5: hours straight, if that's the numbing feel that you just need,

880
00:42:48,760 --> 00:42:51,000
Speaker 5: and then I kind of reel myself in, like all right,

881
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:54,800
Speaker 5: you know that was fun, but if it's.

882
00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:58,359
Speaker 4: Six hours, right, they are not going to make it right.

883
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 5: Have less shame for the processes, you know, Like I

884
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:05,399
Speaker 5: don't always want to process shit.

885
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 3: Sometimes I just like don't want to think.

886
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 2: I always say that.

887
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:10,919
Speaker 4: I always say like, if you're gonna do some shit

888
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:13,880
Speaker 4: you're gonna escape, If you're gonna dive into the whatever

889
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:17,120
Speaker 4: it is you want to do, the fantasy, just do it.

890
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,399
Speaker 2: Fully and enjoy it, right.

891
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:20,520
Speaker 4: Don't do that weird freaking shit quietly and then be

892
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 4: guilting yourself out there.

893
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you won't even really enjoy.

894
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:24,399
Speaker 3: The weird shit.

895
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:26,080
Speaker 4: You know, whatever it is that you're doing, that you're

896
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 4: indulging it. It's like, do it, give yourself permission to

897
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 4: enjoy it, whether it, don't judge yourself really, and then

898
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 4: keep it moving.

899
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:32,840
Speaker 3: Yeah.

900
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:35,960
Speaker 4: I've never heard anyone say, you know, I was cellibant

901
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,880
Speaker 4: because I needed to get I needed to what did

902
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:40,880
Speaker 4: you say? I needed to like clear, clear all the

903
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:42,279
Speaker 4: all of that energy out of me.

904
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 5: Oh my god, all those men's thoughts of me. So

905
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:48,440
Speaker 5: I was like, who am I outside of relationships? And

906
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 5: then it was also that feeling of like how can

907
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:55,320
Speaker 5: I tell a man what I need if I haven't

908
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 5: even cultivated what I need with myself? Like I didn't know,

909
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 5: I didn't know what felt good to me, and so

910
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 5: it's like I can't have that conversation with someone else

911
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 5: before solidifying what that feels like and sounds like and

912
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 5: looks like. And those four years were really like the

913
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 5: best relationship I've ever had, cause it was like Fran

914
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 5: really got to just like pour in and now I'm

915
00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:21,360
Speaker 5: so clear like my boundaries, my capacity. But I wouldn't

916
00:44:21,360 --> 00:44:23,839
Speaker 5: have been able to have the language for that if

917
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:26,439
Speaker 5: I didn't set the time aside to create that.

918
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 6: And now I'm very clear. Like my partner, he always says,

919
00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:30,560
Speaker 6: I know.

920
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:34,160
Speaker 5: Exactly who I'm with because it's like certain things he'll

921
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:37,239
Speaker 5: last it's like no, and there's no need for an explanation,

922
00:44:37,680 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 5: like there's no guilt because it's like this is just

923
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 5: where I'm at right And I think every woman, especially

924
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 5: because we tend to like put ourselves on the back

925
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,960
Speaker 5: burner to nurture everyone else a lot of times, it's

926
00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 5: good to be able to say no and to be

927
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,880
Speaker 5: very boundary and not feel bad and not feel guilty.

928
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:55,319
Speaker 3: And I love it.

929
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 5: This is partly why it's my favorite relationship because he's

930
00:44:57,600 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 5: just like, Okay, it was just laughing, is me an?

931
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:04,920
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? And it's just funny at

932
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:05,400
Speaker 3: this point.

933
00:45:06,200 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 5: That's also a good foundation for a lot of our

934
00:45:08,200 --> 00:45:12,279
Speaker 5: friendships too, is that with the brutal honesty, it's like, hey,

935
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 5: I'm not feeling it today, my energy is off, like

936
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 5: and we're very we honor how we feel and the

937
00:45:18,520 --> 00:45:20,799
Speaker 5: other person fully understands that. And I think that's a

938
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 5: beautiful part because you've got too many people out there

939
00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:25,360
Speaker 5: who are in their feelings about little things. Yeah you

940
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 5: know what I'm saying, Like I can't hang tonight, Well,

941
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 5: what does that mean? You can't hang out? I've seen

942
00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,480
Speaker 5: each other in three weeks and blah blah blah blah blah.

943
00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,800
Speaker 5: But we have a clear understanding, which is really nice,

944
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,080
Speaker 5: so that we can in a clear understand of what

945
00:45:37,120 --> 00:45:40,400
Speaker 5: we need and then because we operate in that same space,

946
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,680
Speaker 5: it just makes things flow so much easier.

947
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I love that the honesty is so key, even

948
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:48,440
Speaker 4: like when you like sometimes even when someone's like, oh

949
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 4: I can't do this, and you're like, well is it me?

950
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 4: Like did I do something right? Like are they thinking

951
00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:56,920
Speaker 4: something about me? Like and not internalized? And sometimes like

952
00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:59,920
Speaker 4: I even have shout out to Jessica Rows and another

953
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,799
Speaker 4: like friend we met through the internet, but like we

954
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 4: had a conversation and she was just like I'm so strange,

955
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:07,399
Speaker 4: Like you know, I'll hang out with you in Erica

956
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 4: and then I'll leave and be like, do they like me?

957
00:46:09,400 --> 00:46:10,799
Speaker 2: I'll be like, oh my god, I do that too.

958
00:46:11,600 --> 00:46:13,560
Speaker 2: I'll be thinking the same thing, like am I here

959
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 2: too long? Do I eat all her food? She mad,

960
00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 2: I ate all the bananas? Bananas Erica.

961
00:46:20,480 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 5: She'd be like, okay, She's like, I ate all your

962
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 5: I'm sorry.

963
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 4: But it's like even even having the the the like

964
00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:35,440
Speaker 4: the freedom to be like I'm in my head, I'm tripping, yeah,

965
00:46:35,560 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 4: or like this is bothering me, let me just say it,

966
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 4: or like you know, whatever it is and sw Jessica

967
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 4: and tell me that.

968
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 2: I'm like, I do the same ship.

969
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 4: And I'm so glad it's not just me being a

970
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:46,640
Speaker 4: fucking weirdo in my head. And I'm so glad that

971
00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,080
Speaker 4: we're from the same weirdo tribe that we could talk

972
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:50,880
Speaker 4: about the weird shit going on in our head and

973
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:52,439
Speaker 4: it's not a thing. And she'd be like, I'm really

974
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:54,520
Speaker 4: having an anxiety attack right now. Please don't come up

975
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:56,520
Speaker 4: for I'm like cool, I'll hit you tomorrow with the wine.

976
00:46:57,000 --> 00:46:58,040
Speaker 4: I'll save the wine for tomorrow.

977
00:46:58,400 --> 00:46:59,359
Speaker 3: I love that, you know.

978
00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:04,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, so you do that too, especially like being from

979
00:47:04,320 --> 00:47:08,319
Speaker 5: the hood and our loves of education and access. A

980
00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:13,200
Speaker 5: lot of the times we battle imposter syndrome with opportunities

981
00:47:13,239 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 5: and it's like, you know, you see the academics and

982
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:18,440
Speaker 5: intellectuals and you're like, whoa, I can't really box in

983
00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:18,839
Speaker 5: the ring.

984
00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 3: It's like and it's like but also honoring that you

985
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 3: have a.

986
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 5: Place in these spaces and your voice is just as

987
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,799
Speaker 5: valuable even if you didn't go to this school and

988
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 5: meet up with this person and read this many books.

989
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:37,040
Speaker 5: It's like, we can be hard on ourselves, and I

990
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,359
Speaker 5: think we've had that convo of just supporting each other,

991
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 5: like we might just have different language, but it doesn't

992
00:47:43,120 --> 00:47:45,840
Speaker 5: take away from the value of it needing to be heard.

993
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 5: And I think in our friendships we definitely like push

994
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 5: each other to like break through whatever limitations we might

995
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:53,799
Speaker 5: create in our own mind.

996
00:47:53,920 --> 00:47:55,480
Speaker 3: Absolutely, that's amazing.

997
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:56,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so true.

998
00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:00,200
Speaker 4: I just like as women, as black women, I think

999
00:48:00,920 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 4: there there is a doubt and there is a you know,

1000
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 4: you put yourself last and and and.

1001
00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 2: It takes village to.

1002
00:48:10,080 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 4: Be like nah, girl, that's your ship, right, you killed

1003
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:14,160
Speaker 4: that ship and you're supposed to be here and you

1004
00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 4: deserve to be here, and like I mean so much,

1005
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 4: and like channeling ship from your friends, Like there's things

1006
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:22,520
Speaker 4: about myself that are like Eric is cut off queen.

1007
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:24,920
Speaker 4: She can like make boundaries so easily. So sometimes I'm

1008
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:26,800
Speaker 4: like standing up for myself. I'm like just channeling my

1009
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:32,040
Speaker 4: little bit Erica right now. Nope, I can't do it. No,

1010
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 4: I just can't.

1011
00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:35,319
Speaker 5: And then sometimes I'm like I'll be like I don't

1012
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 5: want to talk to nobody, but I know I should talk.

1013
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:38,480
Speaker 1: Oh there, so they look so nice. I know I

1014
00:48:38,520 --> 00:48:40,000
Speaker 1: want to be their friend, like I don't know how,

1015
00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 1: and I'd be like what would me do?

1016
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 3: I'll be like, hey girl, high suicide. Hey hi, Yeah,

1017
00:48:47,840 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 3: they're like.

1018
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 6: A different incident. Now need do that too, because I

1019
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:55,960
Speaker 6: think joke.

1020
00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 5: Y'all jokingly would be like I'm on my hey friend

1021
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:01,239
Speaker 5: hey ship when they just taking naps, eating snacks and

1022
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 5: caring for themselves. And then Jade is a lot more

1023
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:08,560
Speaker 5: outspoken than I am, Like you know, she'll fight some

1024
00:49:08,680 --> 00:49:12,920
Speaker 5: of us, and there's a part of me that's always

1025
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 5: like Jade. But then it's like I appreciate how if

1026
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 5: she's uncomfortable she's gonna let you know. Yeah, And so

1027
00:49:18,640 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 5: I take on that sometimes too, and I know I

1028
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:22,719
Speaker 5: have to speak up and I might not have it.

1029
00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 3: I'll like channel Jade's energy.

1030
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,879
Speaker 5: And I think we all in our friendship group kind

1031
00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:31,400
Speaker 5: of have little pieces of each other that we lower.

1032
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 1: Each other in ways that maybe like aren't natural necessarily

1033
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:36,400
Speaker 1: to us know that we need to do that.

1034
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,879
Speaker 5: I ran helps me with my own boundaries, cause I'm

1035
00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:42,239
Speaker 5: I got clear boundaries with strangers, very clear, but with

1036
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:45,440
Speaker 5: people I love, I'll try to do whatever.

1037
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm like, I'm real.

1038
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 5: I try to be really uh what's the word what

1039
00:49:49,120 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 5: were we talking about? Accommodating, but like sometimes too much

1040
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:55,200
Speaker 5: so to the point where it's depleting me. And so

1041
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:59,080
Speaker 5: she's really good about being like, no, not feeling it today,

1042
00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:02,879
Speaker 5: which has been a really nice example. So when I'm

1043
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 5: not feeling it and I'm feeling guilty about not feeling it,

1044
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:08,200
Speaker 5: I'm starting out chating. I'll be like, all right, no,

1045
00:50:08,480 --> 00:50:10,320
Speaker 5: you know what, No, I don't have it today, I

1046
00:50:10,360 --> 00:50:12,680
Speaker 5: don't have it. And then you find that other people

1047
00:50:12,719 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 5: are you know, they understand a lot your own shit,

1048
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 5: you know, be like, oh my god, they're gonna be

1049
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,479
Speaker 5: so hurt, they' gonna be so upset, and and they're

1050
00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 5: literally like, okay, girl, you're like good, I'm actually glad

1051
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 5: you canceled.

1052
00:50:22,600 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 3: Bitch. You need to go to sleep, right, So it's good,

1053
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:28,400
Speaker 3: just the.

1054
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 1: Last thing, because I know you got to get out

1055
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 1: of here. But I was telling we were having a

1056
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 1: conversation with some other ladies and we're talking about how

1057
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:40,000
Speaker 1: oftentimes we forget to tell the people that we love

1058
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,640
Speaker 1: in our tribe, like that we love them or like

1059
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:46,080
Speaker 1: shouting out like our favorite thing about them. So like,

1060
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:48,120
Speaker 1: I just want to take a second, and I want

1061
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:49,880
Speaker 1: to know what you guys like, friend, what is your

1062
00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:50,880
Speaker 1: favorite thing about.

1063
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:53,479
Speaker 5: Jay j what's your favorite thing about friend? I'm gonna

1064
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 5: tell me a little. My favorite thing about her is.

1065
00:50:58,400 --> 00:50:59,799
Speaker 1: And I want to encourage you guys at home to

1066
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:01,759
Speaker 1: do the same. I call up your homie and tell

1067
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:03,280
Speaker 1: that because they need to hear the shape.

1068
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:04,759
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, real.

1069
00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 5: Honestly, I think I'm amazed at how good Jade is

1070
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 5: at so many things, Like she's an incredible mother, an

1071
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:19,359
Speaker 5: incredible wife, an incredible entrepreneur.

1072
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,760
Speaker 3: And somehow.

1073
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,480
Speaker 5: All of these things are just like staying afloat in

1074
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:29,439
Speaker 5: the most miraculous ways, and everything's thriving, and I think

1075
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 5: it's hard.

1076
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:31,680
Speaker 3: And I know you might feel over us.

1077
00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 5: It's hard, you know, and we try to support you

1078
00:51:35,320 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 5: as much as we can, but I know it's still

1079
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:39,400
Speaker 5: hard at the end of the day. But I still

1080
00:51:39,480 --> 00:51:43,440
Speaker 5: am always in amazement at like her capacity, you know,

1081
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:44,520
Speaker 5: her capacity to.

1082
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:47,600
Speaker 6: Love and give and grow and.

1083
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:52,560
Speaker 5: Support her daughter is like so awesome, you know, such

1084
00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,319
Speaker 5: a reflection, such a mirror of her heart, you know,

1085
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:58,040
Speaker 5: her heart literally walking out in the world.

1086
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:00,600
Speaker 3: And I just like in.

1087
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:04,359
Speaker 5: Pure admiration because I'm just I'm not married or have kids,

1088
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 5: and I'm exhausted half the time. It's just like existing.

1089
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 5: I'm like, how do you add like two more people

1090
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 5: to that?

1091
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:11,759
Speaker 2: You know?

1092
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 5: So I think I'm in amazement at I don't want

1093
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,279
Speaker 5: to say the Superwoman trope because I feel like we

1094
00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:20,600
Speaker 5: take that on and it can actually be pretty burdensome.

1095
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 5: But I think I love watching you navigate who you

1096
00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:29,360
Speaker 5: are and what's needed and what you need and just

1097
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:32,760
Speaker 5: figuring it out as you're going along while everything is thriving,

1098
00:52:32,920 --> 00:52:35,319
Speaker 5: and it's just like the coolest thing to witness. You're

1099
00:52:35,360 --> 00:52:38,520
Speaker 5: like such an awesome mom and wife and everything. It's

1100
00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 5: just cool because I'm like, I hope I can do

1101
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:41,920
Speaker 5: that too.

1102
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:46,080
Speaker 3: Now you're doing it. My favorite thing about friend friend,

1103
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:47,600
Speaker 3: and this is not I'm not putting her.

1104
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,359
Speaker 5: Business out there. She's talked about these things. Fran has

1105
00:52:50,400 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 5: had not the easiest growing up experience, and to know

1106
00:52:58,360 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 5: as one of my closest friends, like to know the

1107
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:04,400
Speaker 5: details and the depths of those things, and to see

1108
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 5: what a beautiful light she is to like so many

1109
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:11,240
Speaker 5: people around her, our family, our village, her own mother,

1110
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:14,520
Speaker 5: like everybody who comes in contact. Friend is a beam

1111
00:53:14,560 --> 00:53:17,839
Speaker 5: of light. She's got beautiful things to offer. And to

1112
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 5: know where she came from and what she's exuding into

1113
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:22,439
Speaker 5: the world, I think is such an amazing thing.

1114
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:23,359
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1115
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:31,360
Speaker 1: Oh nothing, Mila, Jamila to some Mela to me, I

1116
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:35,879
Speaker 1: don't know you're Jamila Ormela. Depends what day it is. God,

1117
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:37,879
Speaker 1: There's so many things I do love about you, babe, Like.

1118
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 3: Oh you know, I can't crying. Mela is also a light.

1119
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:49,560
Speaker 1: Like everywhere she goes, people are like just like gravitate

1120
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 1: towards her, and she somehow has space for so much

1121
00:53:54,960 --> 00:54:01,640
Speaker 1: and it somehow is able to like fully give so much,

1122
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:04,680
Speaker 1: like she doesn't pick and choose, like she's able to

1123
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:09,200
Speaker 1: fully give and love with limitless capacity like that. I

1124
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,640
Speaker 1: don't truly understand myself because I'm kind of a bitch.

1125
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:14,960
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'd be like, can't you know? She says, I

1126
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 1: have boundaries, and sometimes those boundaries get in the way.

1127
00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:17,239
Speaker 3: I think, ye.

1128
00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:22,440
Speaker 1: And so she is such a natural healer too. People

1129
00:54:22,480 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 1: are so gravitated to her, and she's a natural healer.

1130
00:54:26,280 --> 00:54:29,480
Speaker 1: She's an amazing mother, and her daughter is a reflection

1131
00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,000
Speaker 1: of her too. Luna is a little I don't want

1132
00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:33,919
Speaker 1: to say a little Jamila because she is her own soul,

1133
00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 1: but I see so much of her in you and

1134
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 1: her spirit. And you're such an amazing friend. I know

1135
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:41,839
Speaker 1: that I can call you at any time, any hour.

1136
00:54:41,960 --> 00:54:43,239
Speaker 1: You're like, what's up?

1137
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:46,719
Speaker 3: What we doing? And I can just depend on you.

1138
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:51,400
Speaker 5: And I know that God, for some reason put you

1139
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:54,880
Speaker 5: in my life to be on this journey with one another.

1140
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 3: And there's literally no.

1141
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:58,920
Speaker 1: One in the world I would rather be on this

1142
00:54:59,000 --> 00:54:59,400
Speaker 1: journey with.

1143
00:55:00,120 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 3: Oh my God, God, we look at it.

1144
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:05,520
Speaker 2: I could cry over like lying.

1145
00:55:08,440 --> 00:55:08,600
Speaker 3: You know.

1146
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:10,960
Speaker 4: Also, keep in mind me and Erica have been on

1147
00:55:11,280 --> 00:55:14,120
Speaker 4: literally in close proximity on vacation that we're on our

1148
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:18,319
Speaker 4: third week together for four fucking weeks, so I know

1149
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:22,719
Speaker 4: I'm still in the same room, all right, Yeah, like

1150
00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:24,120
Speaker 4: that says a lot. I know we're begetting on each

1151
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:27,600
Speaker 4: other's nerves. But you know, Erica, like I needed you.

1152
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:29,400
Speaker 4: I did, and I have a lot of friends I have.

1153
00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 4: I'm a friend magnan as bitch, but I really needed

1154
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 4: this friendship. And you you do all You're so of

1155
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 4: the so much of the things that I'm not and

1156
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:42,240
Speaker 4: so much of the things that I need in our business.

1157
00:55:42,600 --> 00:55:44,640
Speaker 2: You get shit done. That boss ass bitch.

1158
00:55:44,640 --> 00:55:46,319
Speaker 4: I don't know how you do all of the shit,

1159
00:55:47,120 --> 00:55:48,879
Speaker 4: but she's she gets the shit done.

1160
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:49,640
Speaker 2: I'll be like I.

1161
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:50,880
Speaker 4: Want to do some shit, but I'll sit on the

1162
00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:52,680
Speaker 4: sun button for like twenty five.

1163
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:54,440
Speaker 2: Hours, Like why didn't I send that email?

1164
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:55,879
Speaker 3: No fucking clue.

1165
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:59,120
Speaker 4: And even for someone who says they didn't want to

1166
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:01,440
Speaker 4: be a mom like I, one of the things that

1167
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:03,520
Speaker 4: I channel form you all the time is you're incredibly patient.

1168
00:56:03,880 --> 00:56:06,600
Speaker 4: You know, you're incredibly patient with your daughter and with

1169
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:09,720
Speaker 4: our daughters and with me, and like that's not easy,

1170
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 4: you know, like kids are fucking annoying, and you are

1171
00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:13,800
Speaker 4: incredibly patient.

1172
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 2: So I'm not going to look over. I'm like, how is

1173
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:16,400
Speaker 2: she so fucking calm?

1174
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:16,879
Speaker 4: Right?

1175
00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 2: Does she not hear this? I'm like, I need to

1176
00:56:19,200 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 2: chill out. I need to smoke, you know.

1177
00:56:22,560 --> 00:56:25,480
Speaker 4: But it's true, Like I am always in all of you,

1178
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:27,359
Speaker 4: all the things you do and not just do them,

1179
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:30,080
Speaker 4: but do them in completion and do them to the

1180
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 4: best of your ability, and like we do do a

1181
00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:33,840
Speaker 4: lot of stuff. And I and I'm like, bitch, you

1182
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,319
Speaker 4: get up of your game. Erica is fucking doing the

1183
00:56:36,360 --> 00:56:38,799
Speaker 4: things and sending the emails, so you know, I just

1184
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:41,880
Speaker 4: I'm so grateful for you and for our business and

1185
00:56:41,920 --> 00:56:45,879
Speaker 4: for our like our little family and our marriage, and

1186
00:56:46,239 --> 00:56:48,440
Speaker 4: there is nobody else I'd rather travel the world with

1187
00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:52,279
Speaker 4: and share a bank account with, and and just your

1188
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:55,440
Speaker 4: way of always like I'm such a sensit of cancer clearly,

1189
00:56:55,880 --> 00:56:58,840
Speaker 4: and you always have a way of being completely straightforward

1190
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 4: with me but also being jumped like, bitch, you're fucking up,

1191
00:57:01,640 --> 00:57:02,359
Speaker 4: but give me a hug.

1192
00:57:02,360 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 3: I love you.

1193
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:06,120
Speaker 4: You're like you could do better, but I love you

1194
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:09,359
Speaker 4: and I understand and I I appreciate you so much

1195
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,520
Speaker 4: and I love you. I love you.

1196
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 3: We share guides. I tell friends that all the time,

1197
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:15,840
Speaker 3: I'd be like, your guys was in the room with me?

1198
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:19,000
Speaker 3: Oh my god, yes, yes, all the time.

1199
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:24,440
Speaker 5: Sound but we definitely have some ancestral connection somewhere.

1200
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, we do, for.

1201
00:57:25,320 --> 00:57:28,200
Speaker 4: Sure, It's true, And like there's such thing and even

1202
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 4: us all being you know, black women in like a

1203
00:57:30,720 --> 00:57:35,320
Speaker 4: space where we're obviously in tune with spirit, you know,

1204
00:57:35,440 --> 00:57:38,440
Speaker 4: and that's not that's not something a privilege. Everyone's given

1205
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:41,320
Speaker 4: to be tapped into that. But so we find each other,

1206
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:43,720
Speaker 4: and I think, like that's so special and important. You know,

1207
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:47,000
Speaker 4: even the time I sacrifice those two pigeons, you still

1208
00:57:47,760 --> 00:57:50,680
Speaker 4: you were looking at me crazy, but you love me

1209
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:57,280
Speaker 4: and understood and you're not laughing, no relatable concept, And

1210
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:59,400
Speaker 4: it's just like who else could I tell? I sacrificed

1211
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:02,600
Speaker 4: two pigeons and somebody's the back room and they still

1212
00:58:02,720 --> 00:58:03,920
Speaker 4: they still ride with me.

1213
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:11,840
Speaker 3: You know, I got you. It's so funny, so funny.

1214
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:14,200
Speaker 3: I love that. I think that is amazing than surely

1215
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 3: I'm about to cry. That shit just took me out.

1216
00:58:20,160 --> 00:58:22,000
Speaker 4: Thank you guys so much for coming and sharing your

1217
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:25,200
Speaker 4: friendship with us and stepping into our space and letting

1218
00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:28,880
Speaker 4: our audience like come step into your friendship for all

1219
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:31,520
Speaker 4: the women out there, especially the black women, Like step

1220
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 4: into your friendships the ones that feel good and feel authentic,

1221
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,280
Speaker 4: or you can be your truest self where you could

1222
00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:39,840
Speaker 4: like zip up, get naked and like physically and spiritually

1223
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:42,160
Speaker 4: just come as you are and not feel judged. Like

1224
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:44,560
Speaker 4: lean into that ship and tell those people you love them,

1225
00:58:44,600 --> 00:58:47,720
Speaker 4: and hug those people and like heavy moan together because

1226
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:48,919
Speaker 4: I be doing that shit all the time.

1227
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:53,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, And date your friends, date your friends, your friends.

1228
00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:57,080
Speaker 5: We spend each other just thinking to you, flowers, we

1229
00:58:57,160 --> 00:58:59,760
Speaker 5: have date night. Yeah, it's like, well we need quality

1230
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:02,320
Speaker 5: time too, you know, go see a movie, We'll go

1231
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:03,040
Speaker 5: to dinner.

1232
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:03,760
Speaker 3: We'll go for walks.

1233
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 5: She'll randomly text me like you want to go for

1234
00:59:05,960 --> 00:59:07,440
Speaker 5: a walk, and like we'll just do that.

1235
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:08,640
Speaker 3: It's like I.

1236
00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:11,439
Speaker 5: Love order too many things off anthropology and she'll bring

1237
00:59:11,520 --> 00:59:12,040
Speaker 5: me stuff.

1238
00:59:12,920 --> 00:59:13,440
Speaker 3: I saw this.

1239
00:59:13,520 --> 00:59:16,880
Speaker 5: It looks like you because we dressed the same. And

1240
00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:20,760
Speaker 5: it's just nice to uh give our friendships the same

1241
00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 5: amount of love and attention that we would partnerships. But

1242
00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 5: I think sometimes we forget to do that.

1243
00:59:26,600 --> 00:59:29,680
Speaker 4: I think a lot of times, yeah, maybe that's the

1244
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:32,640
Speaker 4: affirmation I give my friends as much time, love and

1245
00:59:32,680 --> 00:59:39,000
Speaker 4: attention as I give niggas.

1246
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:45,560
Speaker 3: That's all getting together. It's better than we did. Just

1247
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:46,320
Speaker 3: get tattoos to go.

1248
00:59:51,080 --> 00:59:52,960
Speaker 2: We'll tell tell our people where to find you.

1249
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:56,760
Speaker 6: I'm hey, fran Hay across the board, every platform.

1250
00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:58,600
Speaker 2: If your hair is dry. You know what I.

1251
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:02,120
Speaker 5: Youtubes from eight years ago, there's still.

1252
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:06,120
Speaker 6: I'm not still there, but the videos are.

1253
01:00:07,800 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 5: Jada all Jad's across all platforms and I love you all.

1254
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:11,640
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

1255
01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:12,240
Speaker 2: I love you.

1256
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:14,320
Speaker 4: We love you guys, Thank you, and you know where

1257
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:17,480
Speaker 4: to find us. We're on Instagram, Good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices.

1258
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:20,160
Speaker 4: You can check our Patreon out. You can watch it

1259
01:00:20,200 --> 01:00:23,240
Speaker 4: if you go to patreon dot com backslash Good Mom's

1260
01:00:23,280 --> 01:00:27,040
Speaker 4: Bad Choices. You can't search us. We're explicit, but not really.

1261
01:00:27,120 --> 01:00:28,600
Speaker 4: We're just do what we want.

1262
01:00:30,160 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 2: And rate and review this episode.

1263
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:34,720
Speaker 4: Because you niggas be listening for free, you could at

1264
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:35,400
Speaker 4: least do that.

1265
01:00:35,560 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 6: Thanks.

1266
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:38,320
Speaker 3: All right, we'll catch you guys next week.

1267
01:00:38,400 --> 01:00:39,280
Speaker 6: Bye bye.

1268
01:00:42,240 --> 01:00:53,000
Speaker 3: Ella solo recorder Lalos. Then let's just say us