Speaker 1: This is how men think with Brooks like and Gavin
Speaker 1: to grab and I hear radio podcast, welcome to the show.
Speaker 1: You have Ryan here, we have no Brooks nor Gavin.
Speaker 1: When the traditional hosts are away, Dmitri, Ryan and Rick
Speaker 1: will play we are here boys. I've never seen you
Speaker 1: this smiley. I have to, as Brooks would say, I
Speaker 1: have these two fine stirs here with me. I'm so
Speaker 1: glad we don't have to hear that the dead weight
Speaker 1: is gone, the three finest, the three hosts you all
Speaker 1: have been clamoring for our finally here Sands Brooks, Sands Gavin,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna have a great time today. Am I right?
Speaker 1: So we have a good show today. I have been
Speaker 1: summoned here um as a part two to an episode
Speaker 1: we did a few months back. When I gave my
Speaker 1: wife gave birth to our second child. I was in
Speaker 1: a dark, dark state of mind, very st stout. Amy
Speaker 1: had told me it was unreasonable stress, but it was
Speaker 1: stressed nonetheless. Uh, and I'm in a similarly dark state
Speaker 1: of mind today. So Amy telling you your stress was
Speaker 1: unreasonable didn't make your stress go it. Actually it annoys me. Well,
Speaker 1: there are some dark clouds outside, so maybe it's part
Speaker 1: of that. I don't know, it could be. Uh, what
Speaker 1: are you worried about? What's going on? So I'll tell you. Okay,
Speaker 1: this past weekend, so our what what was our newborn
Speaker 1: back in October is now four and a half months? Um,
Speaker 1: congratulations than four and a half months and you're still bitching.
Speaker 1: That is correct. And here's why, dmitri. So this weekend, Uh,
Speaker 1: a week ago, our two year old two and a
Speaker 1: half year old started puking. He had some stomach bug. Fine,
Speaker 1: we it was a twenty four hour thing. Luckily he
Speaker 1: got it through a system. All was okay. Three days later,
Speaker 1: I myself got sick, then my wife got sick, and
Speaker 1: then this weekend. Uh, it all came to a head
Speaker 1: when it had been five days of our four and
Speaker 1: a half month year old who had been vomiting every
Speaker 1: single day for the past five days, and diarrhea. He
Speaker 1: was refusing any liquids whatsoever, was not taking his bottle.
Speaker 1: We were nervous because he was scary. He was dropping weight.
Speaker 1: He as a result of being severely dehydrated, he had
Speaker 1: no circulation to his hands into his feet, so his
Speaker 1: his hands and feet were both purple. Uh. And it
Speaker 1: was getting stressful. So we took him to the pediatrician
Speaker 1: and uh. The pediatrician looked at him and said, look,
Speaker 1: you know, we need to get fluids in him, Try pedialyite,
Speaker 1: try rice water. I'm boiling rice and straining the rice kernels.
Speaker 1: I'm trying everything. Pediatricians said, Ryan, You're being unreasonable. The
Speaker 1: pediatrician actually was like, don't worry, guys. He's not severely
Speaker 1: severely dehydrated yet. He's on the way. But if you
Speaker 1: look in his eyeballs, they're still moist, so he's not
Speaker 1: it's not dire. And I'm like, well, I don't want
Speaker 1: to get to the point where his eyeballs are dry.
Speaker 1: Stop it exactly. Um. So we on Saturday had to
Speaker 1: go to urgent care because he had taken in like
Speaker 1: three ounces of liquid in the past forty eight hours,
Speaker 1: which is really not good. That was affecting his sleep.
Speaker 1: He was not sleeping whatsoever because he was starving, and
Speaker 1: he wasn't taking fluids in because presumably his throat was
Speaker 1: hurting and he was puking anytime he took in any
Speaker 1: liquor whatsoever. But what was it. Did he have a virus?
Speaker 1: Is that why he couldn't take into The pediatrician told
Speaker 1: us there was a stomach bug going around l A
Speaker 1: and it was such that because it was a virus,
Speaker 1: it's not bacterial. You can't give an antibiotic. Uh, there
Speaker 1: was nothing you could do. You had to just let
Speaker 1: it run its course. And with the other kids that
Speaker 1: had come in, it had lasted up till two weeks
Speaker 1: of every day vomiting and diarrhea. Well, I will say
Speaker 1: number one, that sounds horrible. Number two, I hope you
Speaker 1: didn't bring any of that here. There was a lot
Speaker 1: of Number two. Okay, Well, I don't mean that, I
Speaker 1: mean the germs. Um. I will say this. My family
Speaker 1: got hit with the stomach bug. It was twenty four hours,
Speaker 1: but it was my oldest she got it, then my
Speaker 1: wife got it, then the next kid. So there was
Speaker 1: about thirty six to forty eight hours where I was
Speaker 1: the only one that didn't get it. Where I was
Speaker 1: I think I threw up once, but it was non
Speaker 1: stop and I slept on the living room floor because
Speaker 1: it was the most central location so I could hear.
Speaker 1: I finally got the time of the sound down. Whereas
Speaker 1: like they come and tell me, like Dad, I think
Speaker 1: I want to be saying who, And I was like,
Speaker 1: don't tell me, just go straight to the bathroom. Believe me,
Speaker 1: I'll figure it out. But so I slept on the
Speaker 1: living room floor. And it was like that scene in
Speaker 1: the Princess Bride when they're in that thing and they
Speaker 1: hear the popping sound and they know that the flame's
Speaker 1: gonna shoot up. I would hear one of the kids
Speaker 1: in the middle of the night, uh, and and I'd
Speaker 1: run and I'd grab him and I bring in the
Speaker 1: bathroom and I go and I laid back down after
Speaker 1: I got him all cleaned up, and i'd hear from
Speaker 1: like the other directions ship and I have to run.
Speaker 1: And it was thirty six. I was just NonStop puking. Well,
Speaker 1: and you're the ld person in the out of the
Speaker 1: whole family, yet you want to stay away from it
Speaker 1: as far as you can because you know that you're
Speaker 1: an next in line to get sick. That's the other
Speaker 1: reason I slept in the living room. Flora, well, sometimes
Speaker 1: on the couch my daughter. My daughter had the same
Speaker 1: not really the same thing as long, but it was
Speaker 1: like a twenty four hour flu. But basically to your point,
Speaker 1: Dmitri she was sitting on. She was like, my stomach careers,
Speaker 1: my stomach is okay, Well let's you know. So we
Speaker 1: take her to the bathroom kind of prepare and she's
Speaker 1: like she sits down on the toilet and then it
Speaker 1: starts barfing down on this floor and I'm like, what
Speaker 1: the hell are you doing? Like turn around like and
Speaker 1: then it's like, you know, everyone's screaming, and I don't
Speaker 1: feel bad for her and how old is the daughter? That? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And so my what is challenging for me is like eleven,
Speaker 1: you can have you can communicate with her first and foremost,
Speaker 1: but like that didn't work though, But you're not worried
Speaker 1: about he doesn't talk to women so well. But but
Speaker 1: you're not fearing that she's going to die. And when
Speaker 1: when you have a four month old like that is
Speaker 1: a real genuine thought that we're having, which is like
Speaker 1: he's not taking in any fluids. You go to urgent
Speaker 1: care over the weekend and they're looking at you saying,
Speaker 1: if you don't get something down impedially or whatever, which
Speaker 1: we had tried at that point for seventy two hours
Speaker 1: to no avail. She's saying, he's going to need to
Speaker 1: go to the e er and get an IVY and
Speaker 1: with a four month old, it's going to take seven
Speaker 1: pricks minimum to find a vein which is going to
Speaker 1: destroy his Okay, hold on, so that's not now we're
Speaker 1: getting to Ryan. That's well, no, that's not what they
Speaker 1: said to you. No, with that tone and those statistics,
Speaker 1: that's you googling ship. No, that is exactly what she said.
Speaker 1: They so they said, and by the way, this is
Speaker 1: gonna take seven stabs in your son's arms. She didn't
Speaker 1: say it in that aggressive tone. She said, look, you
Speaker 1: need to you need to just keep trying to force fluids.
Speaker 1: I cannot impress upon but it was the drama after this.
Speaker 1: Now I'm going back to when you fake your own
Speaker 1: death with your doctor. This is that Ryan's coming out.
Speaker 1: She said, I can tell you you need to get
Speaker 1: fluids down because if you don't, the next step is
Speaker 1: going to the emergency room. And what's going to happen
Speaker 1: there is the only thing they can do for this,
Speaker 1: because he's dehydrated and it's a virus, is they need
Speaker 1: to get fluids in him. The only way they'll do
Speaker 1: that is through an IVY. Is a wonderful story, but
Speaker 1: is a kid, Okay, he yeah, I mean it's been
Speaker 1: seven days. Neither of us have been sleeping like he's
Speaker 1: he's now taking in fluids as of yesterday. He's gotta
Speaker 1: be here. He's gotta be better because you're standing here
Speaker 1: holding a microphone. So I imagine if he wasn't, he
Speaker 1: has gotten better as it lets you sticks something up
Speaker 1: on the web, you know what where the sun don't
Speaker 1: shut off for a four month old. But we need
Speaker 1: to get to the point of it all? Is that
Speaker 1: tell the story about when you went to o Hi
Speaker 1: uh a month or so ago, a month and a
Speaker 1: half ago, uh for my birthday. My wife and I decided,
Speaker 1: you know what, like happy birthday? Thanks? Oh yeah? Did
Speaker 1: you get my card? That was from both of us?
Speaker 1: I actually gonna bounce back. It's an email. So I've
Speaker 1: heard all the advice from you morons and all the
Speaker 1: experts that have come on the show over the course
Speaker 1: of this podcast to tell me all the things I'm
Speaker 1: doing wrong and all of the things I need to
Speaker 1: do for my marriage and for our marriage and for
Speaker 1: my happiness and the balance we need to find, which
Speaker 1: is all a complete joke. So what we did was
Speaker 1: we decided, you know what, like, let's heed the advice
Speaker 1: of all these people that have been telling us how
Speaker 1: we should live our lives. Great, here we go. So,
Speaker 1: because we have no family in l A, my father
Speaker 1: in law who lives in Colorado flew in for the
Speaker 1: weekend and was going to watch our two and a
Speaker 1: half year old. We were going to take the baby
Speaker 1: to two and a half hours away and spend two
Speaker 1: nights at this resort and just try to get away.
Speaker 1: The two who said take the baby and that's how
Speaker 1: you're gonna feel better, nobody gave that. We we don't
Speaker 1: have someone that is able to watch a at the time,
Speaker 1: like three and a half month because because you're because
Speaker 1: you're a control freak, you're in Los Angeles. You can
Speaker 1: find someone to watch a baby. Correct in three and
Speaker 1: a half month old? You guys, you continue to like
Speaker 1: it's breastfeeding, jackass. I have four kids. Don't tell me.
Speaker 1: I don't know what a three and a half month
Speaker 1: old is. I don't think you remember. I don't think
Speaker 1: that you went away when your baby was three and
Speaker 1: a half months. Uh, I think I did. Actually I
Speaker 1: think you can, but what was your thought process? Will
Speaker 1: take just the baby, and that will be easier on us.
Speaker 1: We my father in law is not going to be
Speaker 1: able to watch both of them. Our nanny that we
Speaker 1: have part time could not watch. She has three kids
Speaker 1: of her own. She could not take a baby. The
Speaker 1: panel will accept that answer. Continue with your story, except
Speaker 1: who gets a nanny that has three kids? She's cutting
Speaker 1: up that because yeah, because Amy says, finding nanny's to
Speaker 1: help out her, it's so easy. It's such an easy
Speaker 1: especially now that we're limiting ones to those that have
Speaker 1: no kids. Continue with your stories so we can try
Speaker 1: to actually help you instead of just being like you're
Speaker 1: punching backs. Well, I'll continue if you allow me to. So,
Speaker 1: uh so we go away. Can wait till people email
Speaker 1: us and instagram US d m U S whatever. How
Speaker 1: did the hell and defend me? Message us to give
Speaker 1: you some female to defend me and say we are
Speaker 1: so sick of hearing Amy, we do want feedback. Occasionally
Speaker 1: they say that as well. Continue. Okay, So we we
Speaker 1: decide we're gonna take our the newborn with us, and
Speaker 1: it will be half the amount of kids, and we'll
Speaker 1: be able to kind of like go away and you know,
Speaker 1: he'll take he sleeps for a good portion of the day.
Speaker 1: It is it's math. Uh, we don't need to dramatize math.
Speaker 1: So anyway, we pack up the car and we head
Speaker 1: off for the weekend. Now again, it's supposed to be enjoyable,
Speaker 1: and we're going away to this beautiful place. We're gonna relax,
Speaker 1: we're gonna drink wine, we're gonna like hang out by
Speaker 1: the pool, do all those great things. Figure it all out. Now,
Speaker 1: I will begin by saying, the amount of stuff that
Speaker 1: you need to pack with a three and a half
Speaker 1: month old in your car for just two nights, is
Speaker 1: it a joke. It's absolutely an embarrassment. So with us,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm talking about hours and hours of packing
Speaker 1: up the car before we even leave. So in the car,
Speaker 1: I have to load a pack and play. Six bottles,
Speaker 1: the soap to clean the bottles, because you're doing six
Speaker 1: bottles a day minimum, a cleaning brush to to clean
Speaker 1: out the bottles, a car seat, a stroller with the bassinet,
Speaker 1: a car seat stroller adapter, the formula, diapers, aquifer, a thermometer, wipes,
Speaker 1: motor and baby biorn, stand up chair, a carrier baby
Speaker 1: born for him to sleep on our chest, while we
Speaker 1: walk around teething toys, blankets, a noise machine, my my
Speaker 1: baby registry. I didn't have that much sho on. Why
Speaker 1: did you need two strollers? I didn't say too stroll
Speaker 1: at a stroller with the car thing and a stroller,
Speaker 1: one gets a flat tire. Well, sometimes the baby like
Speaker 1: to lay back reclined. Listen, here's the deal. If this
Speaker 1: was your first kid, I would give you. I would
Speaker 1: give you some room for for acting like this. This
Speaker 1: is your second kid. The fact that you haven't made
Speaker 1: some cuts and and streamlined some stuff that's on you
Speaker 1: pal So the first morning that we're there, he wakes
Speaker 1: up at four am and is up. So we're awake now,
Speaker 1: getting a bottle made, warming the bottle. It's a human
Speaker 1: that has to live like yet conflated about God, When
Speaker 1: was the last time you woke up at four am?
Speaker 1: Sometimes I do. She's more of a go to bed
Speaker 1: for you. I'm kind of so that does putting you
Speaker 1: that So that's putting you in a dark place under vacation.
Speaker 1: No one. The argument that he's not a human being,
Speaker 1: I'm stating a fact. He woke up at four a m.
Speaker 1: So we get up at four am. These are facts.
Speaker 1: We get up at four am that my wife starts
Speaker 1: making the bottle and warming the bottle. I then ache
Speaker 1: in an espresso machine in the room, each of us
Speaker 1: a coffee. And but that sounds fun. It's an adventure
Speaker 1: right there. You didn't correct me if I'm wrong. You
Speaker 1: didn't go on this thing with a three and a
Speaker 1: half month old and think we're gonna sleep till noon. No,
Speaker 1: I didn't. But it's nice. You got up, you made coffee,
Speaker 1: So that's an adventure. So we're in the room having
Speaker 1: our coffee. She's feeding the baby. I'm now waiting till
Speaker 1: five thirty am when the lobby will put out the
Speaker 1: lobby coffee, which is the good stuff, and I can
Speaker 1: walk through the darkness to the lobby to get the
Speaker 1: five thirty am coffee. Does anybody else here think he
Speaker 1: makes it hard on himself? Yes, I think I'm not
Speaker 1: blaming it all on you. But that's why I was
Speaker 1: trying to pick apart some of the stuff by the
Speaker 1: bathroom and then to get It's like, then I could
Speaker 1: get the good coffee. It's like, sorry, guy, you've got
Speaker 1: two kids. Good coffee is out the winter comes. What
Speaker 1: are you doing Amy then from four am, Like, what
Speaker 1: what are you doing if everything is so great at
Speaker 1: four am when the baby's up? Like what do you
Speaker 1: want me to say? How come you didn't take turns
Speaker 1: where one of you takes the baby in the other
Speaker 1: one sleeps. You're in one room, like when you're up
Speaker 1: and the baby's crying. Like the baby's crying, you're both up,
Speaker 1: that's life. No. I think it's nice that you made
Speaker 1: an espresso and you guys so I don't know, watch
Speaker 1: something like why why does it automatically a thing? By
Speaker 1: the way, you went for two days. When you get
Speaker 1: up at four am and you're up for the whole day,
Speaker 1: that's like you had a week's vacation. You love the
Speaker 1: amenities at the hotel. I'm just trying to here. Here's
Speaker 1: my point. Maybe if you changed your attitude about it
Speaker 1: a little bit, things could turn because you could be like,
Speaker 1: we're up at four it's it. I wasn't never seen
Speaker 1: the sun rise. I'm simply I was not miserable. We
Speaker 1: we ultimately, we had a good time and it was
Speaker 1: nice to get away and break. That's not how you
Speaker 1: tease the story. I heard the story was like, well,
Speaker 1: way do you hear what happened in OHI and frankly
Speaker 1: it sounds nice except for missing your two and a
Speaker 1: half year old. All right, we're gonna take a break
Speaker 1: and I'm not done, just aggressive like I needed. It's
Speaker 1: it's you're aggressive break. It's Janina from Love Insight, a
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Speaker 1: Do you want to find out how Damian and I
Speaker 1: got back together? Yep, I'm the girl that got left
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Speaker 1: telling us things they have never revealed, and you get
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Speaker 1: Heart Radio is bringing you every little nugget Love Insight
Speaker 1: available now everywhere you listen to podcasts. Welcome back to
Speaker 1: how Men Think? Yeah, this is Ryan here and I
Speaker 1: have an entire team of people around me who are
Speaker 1: against me. I feel isolated. I feel lonely and I
Speaker 1: feel botherable. But look at it this way, you don't
Speaker 1: need to go to therapy. Now I am going to
Speaker 1: lose it on one of you in this next segment,
Speaker 1: so alright, let me just end buy this amy. Like
Speaker 1: the last two things I want to say are so
Speaker 1: we get through the coffee. So yeah, like we get
Speaker 1: through the face of all. It's like, okay, lunch, Like
Speaker 1: the place is amazing. It's been like we've been on
Speaker 1: the air for how long and we're to lunch exactly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: try waking up. We're on the trip with them, so
Speaker 1: you and Gavin didn't show up tonight. So you order
Speaker 1: this great lunch by the pool. This like lobster salad
Speaker 1: with crab meat and everything, and like you're just praying.
Speaker 1: You're at the adult pool and if the kid starts crying,
Speaker 1: then one of you has to leave. Whyre you with
Speaker 1: the adult pool with a baby. That's the only place
Speaker 1: that they serve lunch, the only place they serve lobster role.
Speaker 1: Here's the problem. You aren't willing to give up everything
Speaker 1: that you need to make your life special for like
Speaker 1: you you want everything to just work together, and it
Speaker 1: just doesn't you know what, Maybe you have to go
Speaker 1: to a different pool where there's other kids screaming and playing.
Speaker 1: Maybe you can't have a lobster rule for lunch, like
Speaker 1: you gotta give shut up, man, don't mess with my
Speaker 1: lobster role to Maitri. Uh So, like again, you just
Speaker 1: fast forward throughout the day where you're trying to time naps. Okay,
Speaker 1: he's gonna go down at two. I can wear him
Speaker 1: on my chest and the baby borna two when we
Speaker 1: walk to a winery. And then but when we get there,
Speaker 1: he's gonna need to be fed. So like you're logistically
Speaker 1: planning all those things, and then you're you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: he's gonna go down at six thirties, so we can
Speaker 1: get room service. Call that in a five. And then
Speaker 1: you're eating right when he goes down, and you just
Speaker 1: scarf your food down, and you're like, we look at
Speaker 1: each other like do we want to watch something right now?
Speaker 1: Like no, because we're gonna have at four am tomorrow,
Speaker 1: Like it's seven now, let's just go to bed, Like
Speaker 1: that's the truth. Honestly, I see what you're saying. But
Speaker 1: here here's what I think I think you in your mind,
Speaker 1: identify all the things that normally make you happy, right
Speaker 1: the lobster roll, they DoPT pool, to this that dinner
Speaker 1: ordered it five. All this stuff makes you happy. The
Speaker 1: problem is you're trying to fit it into a space
Speaker 1: that doesn't fit it anymore. So you're actually causing yourself
Speaker 1: so much anxiety and so much stress. I get that
Speaker 1: you like all these things, but I think you'd be
Speaker 1: happier if you some of them, brought some of them
Speaker 1: down and fit them into what works for you. Now. Maybe,
Speaker 1: like I said, maybe don't go to the adult pool
Speaker 1: with a baby. You probably were clenched for he wound
Speaker 1: I've ever. But the other thing I will say in
Speaker 1: Ryan's defense, like or I don't know if it's an
Speaker 1: inc but you're in a storm of your life right now.
Speaker 1: You have a two and a half year old or
Speaker 1: three and a half year old and a four months
Speaker 1: and it's like, I'm surprised you're even going on a
Speaker 1: two day or one night or two night or like
Speaker 1: that's buckled downtime. I don't even know what you probably
Speaker 1: don't even know what time it is during the day.
Speaker 1: You know, it's like life sucks, and it's like it's
Speaker 1: hard in your spot to recognize that because you want
Speaker 1: to have a lobster role and you want to sit
Speaker 1: by the little pool. So you're complaining and you're miserable
Speaker 1: while you're in that space. But on the other hand,
Speaker 1: you're in that space and you should just be accepted
Speaker 1: of it. It is. It's it's a crazy time for
Speaker 1: you right now, and that's that's maybe that's why I'm
Speaker 1: being such a jerk to you right now, is because
Speaker 1: I appreciate that you're trying to figure out how to
Speaker 1: make it all work. But what I'm saying is, yes, no,
Speaker 1: you're it's a crazy time, but you just stop do this.
Speaker 1: We're gonna come back to you because I've got people
Speaker 1: coming to help you. In the meantime, we have our
Speaker 1: friend Emily who is eight months pregnant and she's been
Speaker 1: listening to and now she's terrified. But she's got some
Speaker 1: serious questions that she wants men to answer about being pregnant,
Speaker 1: giving birth, Like we're talking did I poop on the table? Stuff?
Speaker 1: And the first like, let's say three to six months
Speaker 1: right in your wheelhouse, So let's do that, and then
Speaker 1: we're going to come back and help you. Perfect. She
Speaker 1: was seven months pregnant before you started the O hi story.
Speaker 1: Now she's eight. That was actually, can someone make a
Speaker 1: note of that was the first funny thing Dmitri seven
Speaker 1: weeks weeks? You haven't been here in years? Well exactly?
Speaker 1: Can I just start with where I am? And then
Speaker 1: like progressive it? Did? You? Guys ever, just get over
Speaker 1: your wife being pregnant, like she's had the hall pass
Speaker 1: for nine months and you're just like you can't take
Speaker 1: it anymore because I think I'm at that stage. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it depends, honestly depends on what you're doing,
Speaker 1: like your behavior. So I have four kids, and there
Speaker 1: were sometimes when all the way through it was like this,
Speaker 1: she was great, but there was a couple where I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, you know what, now you're like just
Speaker 1: not to be a jerk, but you're just you're bitching
Speaker 1: a little too much, like listen. It's uncomfortable for sure,
Speaker 1: but I mean, you know, you gotta work both ways
Speaker 1: on this one a little bit. I actually I kind
Speaker 1: of enjoyed my wife being pregnant to play Devil's advocate
Speaker 1: there because she was wanting to go get like fried
Speaker 1: chicken and pancakes and stuff like. I put on the
Speaker 1: weight with her, and I was happy to do so
Speaker 1: like it we like we were just on a food
Speaker 1: tour around the city with her craving. Her cravings became mine,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, let's do this, like nine months,
Speaker 1: let's go. That's so true. It was so fun. We
Speaker 1: would do this exact same thing, and the better part
Speaker 1: of it. At the end of the night, she would
Speaker 1: go to sleep and I would stay up and then
Speaker 1: start drinking and playing video games all by myself. It
Speaker 1: was awesome. That was a little bit of alone time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree with that. I did enjoy the pro but
Speaker 1: I think, are you asking like now, yeah, but now
Speaker 1: it's he got sick over the weekend and I was
Speaker 1: a terrible nurse, and then every little thing I've done
Speaker 1: has been like wrong. He's got like a short fuse,
Speaker 1: and I think he's just over me getting my way.
Speaker 1: Are you married to Are you Ryan's wife? That's not
Speaker 1: I mean it's number one. You should if you're eight
Speaker 1: months pregnant, you shouldn't be his nurse. If he's not
Speaker 1: feeling well, you far away from him, And I said, sorry, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he needs to go quarantine. Himself, and my trip to
Speaker 1: China last week was great, though, um, did your poop
Speaker 1: on the table? Everything? I don't want to ask that,
Speaker 1: but I want to know. Every girl needs to know.
Speaker 1: So this comes from that. You hear when you give birth,
Speaker 1: you're pushing and poop comes out. So mine did not.
Speaker 1: But I have a friend who she was, my good
Speaker 1: buddy of mine. His wife was That's all she was
Speaker 1: terrified about, like anything about the anything about the delivery.
Speaker 1: She was like, I just don't want to do that that.
Speaker 1: I'm never going to get over if that happens, that happens,
Speaker 1: I can never get over that. So she's in labor
Speaker 1: doctors there and all of a sudden, the doctors just
Speaker 1: yells still, and she's like, oh my god, and she's
Speaker 1: like she's almost good about my buddy's telling she's almost
Speaker 1: about to cry. He's like, oh my god, I can't
Speaker 1: believe this happened. All of a sudden, the nurses running
Speaker 1: over with a stool and the doctor sits down. So
Speaker 1: apparently she did not, but I obviously it does happen.
Speaker 1: That was good. That was the second funnal. My wife
Speaker 1: had a C section, so I did not experience any
Speaker 1: of that. My wife did not. She did not either.
Speaker 1: She did poop on the dining room table. Why don't
Speaker 1: you just going what? You know? What? Why don't you
Speaker 1: just go in the morning before you got So is
Speaker 1: this something you're afraid of? I think every girl is
Speaker 1: afraid of it, I'm sure, but I would be totally
Speaker 1: afraid of it. I feel like, in my face if
Speaker 1: it happens, just be like that was here when I
Speaker 1: got here, and it's the same way you would in
Speaker 1: the restaurant, hotel along those lines. Were you guys up
Speaker 1: top watching the berth or did you watch it? I
Speaker 1: gotta say I had an uncomfortable so with four, I
Speaker 1: think I've been everywhere, but there was one where I
Speaker 1: was not prepared and I was up next to my
Speaker 1: wife's head and all of a sudden, the doctor was like, here,
Speaker 1: come here and grab her leg and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm like I had a button down on.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't think I'm prepared for this.
Speaker 1: It's like sitting at a Laker game and all of
Speaker 1: a sudden they just turned like, come here, you're in
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. So he
Speaker 1: had he had me hold up a leg, and I mean,
Speaker 1: I was I saw it all did you? Um? Was
Speaker 1: he doing that because he needed your helper because he
Speaker 1: thought it would be a cool experience To this day,
Speaker 1: I don't know. No, he may have just been screwing
Speaker 1: with me and been like this guy is just he's
Speaker 1: just standing here with his eyes closed. You should you
Speaker 1: should probably get involved. So I see. Yeah, So, um,
Speaker 1: I've been, I've been all around and um, it's it's fine.
Speaker 1: It's nice. It's nice to see the baby being born,
Speaker 1: but it is it is rough. I mean, there was
Speaker 1: one time I thought I saw a jellyfish come flying up,
Speaker 1: but I guess that was a placenta. The placenta on
Speaker 1: that Like I was by my wife's head and I
Speaker 1: was doing like, you know, blowing in her ear or something. Uh,
Speaker 1: And there was no poop that came out on the table,
Speaker 1: but the placenta when it came out, I will never
Speaker 1: forget it right in life. It was like a jelly fish. See.
Speaker 1: It was massive and like purple and red and they
Speaker 1: catch it like a garbage bag and it's like what
Speaker 1: it was like moving like it was alive or something.
Speaker 1: And I was like I had never seen anything in
Speaker 1: my life like that. It was horrifying. It was like
Speaker 1: you think it was your kid At first, No, no, no,
Speaker 1: the kid came out already. But I thought it was
Speaker 1: like the kid had a water bed or something in
Speaker 1: there and they were getting rid of it. It was
Speaker 1: it was weird, man. And then I'm thinking, like, people
Speaker 1: make pills out of this and they bury it, they
Speaker 1: cook it. I was like, take it away. So on
Speaker 1: that note, a lot of men, this is real faint
Speaker 1: or vomit during the birth. It is actually common. I
Speaker 1: know a story of a guy who really he started
Speaker 1: to get tunnel vision and started passing out and throwing up.
Speaker 1: Do you do you have anybody like that? I didn't
Speaker 1: throw up. But on the second from from my second kid, um,
Speaker 1: I hadn't eaten, so I got ridiculed for eating the
Speaker 1: first time, even though they said the men have to
Speaker 1: keep their strength up. So the second kid, I didn't eat.
Speaker 1: And then when she was born, she was the only
Speaker 1: one that we didn't find out whether she was a
Speaker 1: boy or a girl. Um, so there was a lot
Speaker 1: happening at that moment, and they were like, it's a girl.
Speaker 1: And then I got a little woozy and I sat
Speaker 1: down for a second. They were like, do you want
Speaker 1: to cut the cord? And I was like sure, and
Speaker 1: I stood up and I was like, whoa. My knee
Speaker 1: started buckle. So they sat me back down and then
Speaker 1: it was fine. But the some might think this was
Speaker 1: an embarrassing moment. A few minutes later, you know how
Speaker 1: they give um. I don't know if you know this, Emily,
Speaker 1: but after you have the baby, they're gonna give you
Speaker 1: like a nice cocktail, like a it's like a juice
Speaker 1: like it's like a long island nice tea. It's like
Speaker 1: a long island to say, without the alcohol, it's just
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of juices to really give your sugar back.
Speaker 1: So I remember after my daughter, my second daughter was born,
Speaker 1: after all that happened, I looked over. They had handed
Speaker 1: me one of these drinks with the bend destraw and
Speaker 1: I look over. My wife has one and she's just
Speaker 1: glaring at me, like we both have the recovery cocktail,
Speaker 1: and she's like, what is wrong with your an embarrassment
Speaker 1: to this family? So yeah, um, that's helpful. I feel
Speaker 1: like my husband might pass out, so embracing myself, they'll
Speaker 1: doesn't he want to have a week's stomach or does
Speaker 1: he Like, I don't think he's prepared for what he's
Speaker 1: about to see. We took a birthing class and he
Speaker 1: was more queasy than I was. Yeah, like we were
Speaker 1: both in the corner just kind of fidgeting, but he
Speaker 1: was really I was super nervous. My wife had a
Speaker 1: C section and I was in like another little separate
Speaker 1: room before they let me go into the clean room
Speaker 1: or the operating room. And I was just in there
Speaker 1: and I was just like sweating, and I was like
Speaker 1: breathing hard, you know, like deep breaths, just I could
Speaker 1: go in and be regular. And I went and sat down,
Speaker 1: and I was like, she's like crying and all, you know,
Speaker 1: drugged up from the medicine. And I was just like,
Speaker 1: holy what did I walk into here? You know? And
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden and there's like a sheet up.
Speaker 1: So I was near her head and there was a
Speaker 1: sheet up, and then all of a sudden, the doctor
Speaker 1: was like, you want to see what's going on? And
Speaker 1: I was like sure, So I popped up and I
Speaker 1: looked down and it was just like orange, like just
Speaker 1: a giant cut orange blood like would you want to?
Speaker 1: I thought, that's the point that and then no, because
Speaker 1: they were they were going to pull the baby out.
Speaker 1: So that's like, we're about to pull her. We're gonna
Speaker 1: pull the baby out, and so I'm looking over and
Speaker 1: then they just start pulling the head out and everything.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh dude, what is that like? And
Speaker 1: then they like to turn around. I was like, it's
Speaker 1: a boy, you know. So we got to that point.
Speaker 1: It was really exciting. So have we up? Do you
Speaker 1: feel ready to have a baby? Now? The closer I get,
Speaker 1: the more scared. I guess that's take a quick break
Speaker 1: because I have a lot more questions. All right, we're
Speaker 1: gonna take a quick break. We'll be back. Welcome back
Speaker 1: to how men think. Thank god Brooks and Gavin are
Speaker 1: not here. May I remind everyone of that. We have
Speaker 1: Emily here with us, who is eight months pregnant. Welcome,
Speaker 1: Thank you. Emily's welcome. She's been here. We just talked
Speaker 1: to her. Okay, is this your first baby? That is exciting?
Speaker 1: And are you what is worrying you the most? The birthday?
Speaker 1: I think the actual physical part of the pushing and
Speaker 1: then just exhausted when get home. Yeah, like for years
Speaker 1: and are you. One thing I remember with my wife
Speaker 1: is like I think we were trying to go like
Speaker 1: all natural, and then all of a sudden she was
Speaker 1: past her do date. I think it was my son
Speaker 1: was supposed to be born on April twenty, but he
Speaker 1: ended up being born on April or May one. Um.
Speaker 1: But she never thought in her mind about having a
Speaker 1: C section, like that was never a question. And then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden it was like getting later and later,
Speaker 1: and then finally we went in for the last checkup
Speaker 1: on a Friday and they're like Monday morning, eight am,
Speaker 1: come on in doing a C section, and it was
Speaker 1: like whoa. And it was actually, in all honesty, we
Speaker 1: really enjoyed it because we had our second child the
Speaker 1: same way. But we liked it because it was like
Speaker 1: we knew when we there was we I guess I
Speaker 1: could say we didn't get to experience that like, oh
Speaker 1: my water broke, I'm at the supermo. How do you
Speaker 1: get the bag? You know, the movie stuff, But um,
Speaker 1: we already had everything ready to go. The family was,
Speaker 1: you know, my parents could fly up, the family was
Speaker 1: in town. It was it was awesome. It was are
Speaker 1: you anxious at all? About the that moment and do
Speaker 1: you have a plan in place for when the water breaks?
Speaker 1: They're inducing me. So I'm hoping I make it that
Speaker 1: long because then I know I can get my nails done,
Speaker 1: I can get a blow out and look good and
Speaker 1: be prepared. It's it's if it comes to weeks early,
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm going to do. So how
Speaker 1: did you I'm sure your harold looked great afterwards as well.
Speaker 1: Did you make the call on being induced or did
Speaker 1: they tell doctor, yeah, got it? My well, our first
Speaker 1: we the water broke naturally, and like we had more
Speaker 1: of that moment of like, okay, we gotta go to
Speaker 1: the hospital now. The second, my wife is very Type
Speaker 1: A and so she was like asked our doctor, can
Speaker 1: we schedule an induction at the earliest possible time that
Speaker 1: it's safe, so as to plan, like because we have
Speaker 1: to have a family member fly in to watch the
Speaker 1: two year old all that, So we knew, okay, we're
Speaker 1: gonna be checking in at like six am on Tuesday,
Speaker 1: and like had the backpack ready to go, and it
Speaker 1: was we checked ourselves in. It was so much less stressful.
Speaker 1: It all four of ours were natural. It happened when
Speaker 1: it happened well, and I feel like even like our
Speaker 1: son was born at ten o'clock in the morning, so
Speaker 1: like we had are like it started out as a
Speaker 1: regular day. I mean, you're still up every single two
Speaker 1: hours feeding and as once the child is born. But
Speaker 1: we were It wasn't like we went into the hot
Speaker 1: the water broke at nine pm. You're laboring until one am,
Speaker 1: and then the baby is born at three and you're like,
Speaker 1: you're just up you know ship creek to begin with,
Speaker 1: right with that, So it was more the baby was born,
Speaker 1: we went to our room. We were sort of like
Speaker 1: started the process of the breastfeeding and you know, taking
Speaker 1: care of the baby and the nurses and spending the
Speaker 1: night and everything, and so we had to stay four nights.
Speaker 1: It was at four nights or three nights. I think
Speaker 1: it was three nights four days. Um, so my wife
Speaker 1: could heal because sections twice as long as you're a
Speaker 1: high vacation there you go, do you know what time
Speaker 1: you're gonna be No, not yet. I would the morning
Speaker 1: to me to that point, like Aree, and from a
Speaker 1: staffing perspective, you if you begin in the morning, you
Speaker 1: have a new shift of nurses who are fresh, who
Speaker 1: you're the first person that they're dealing with, completely fresh
Speaker 1: good night's sleep, as opposed to being like at the
Speaker 1: tail end of the first shift and having a change
Speaker 1: over and like passing the buck like I want fresh people.
Speaker 1: First thing. Heavily stress right now, dude, you're stressing her
Speaker 1: out like the first thing in the morning. It's gonna
Speaker 1: be great no matter when what this is exactly. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you've heard the first part of this show. Okay,
Speaker 1: he was talking about all his vacation that he and
Speaker 1: his wife went away with the baby and the and
Speaker 1: the point was my point that I was trying to
Speaker 1: tell him, was stop stressing about everything. It's better if
Speaker 1: it happens now, and if it doesn't happen, then you
Speaker 1: canna think, oh my god, it's not happen in the morning.
Speaker 1: That guy Ryan told me it's better in the morning,
Speaker 1: because don't worried. It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be great.
Speaker 1: So yes, maybe morning is great. Just listen, go in
Speaker 1: have the baby. If it happens at night, it happens
Speaker 1: a night, it's going to be great. You're going to
Speaker 1: be so agostatic it's it's amazing, Like, yeah, at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, I won't really know the difference,
Speaker 1: but still leading up to it, it's the anticipation. I'm
Speaker 1: kinrying like out, what else is on your mind? What
Speaker 1: are you what else are you worried about? Okay, when
Speaker 1: when we get home and I'm going to breastfeed, but
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it like I can pump
Speaker 1: and have my husband do a bottle. How do you
Speaker 1: guys feel about getting up at night? Because I'm afraid
Speaker 1: that the argument is, well, I have to work tomorrow,
Speaker 1: you don't can you do all the nighttime feedings? Which
Speaker 1: I think is sort of crap because I will be
Speaker 1: working the next day to just not at an office,
Speaker 1: you know, like I'm on maternity leave. But I feel
Speaker 1: like you're working with I mean, yeah, no. I when
Speaker 1: my brother when we had our when we started having kids,
Speaker 1: my brother give me some advice and he said, listen,
Speaker 1: enjoy that. So when she's breastfeeding and that's all that
Speaker 1: she's doing, enjoy that time because once it shifts to
Speaker 1: a bottle, then you're on the clock, and you're on
Speaker 1: the clock whenever she needs you to be on the clock.
Speaker 1: If there's a bottle, then you'll So I remember with
Speaker 1: the first kid, middle of the night, she'd get up
Speaker 1: and I get up and I, you know, walk around
Speaker 1: the bed and pick up the baby and hand it
Speaker 1: and the baby tour and stuff because he had nothing
Speaker 1: else going on. But when there's at to Ryan's point,
Speaker 1: when there's another kid in the house. So when the
Speaker 1: second kid was around, when she came around, it was like,
Speaker 1: all right, well, I'm not gonna get up because I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have to be fresh in the morning. So you
Speaker 1: know you're gonna shift that around. But yes, if you
Speaker 1: have if you're to the point we're using bottles and
Speaker 1: he can feed the baby, then yes, and he and
Speaker 1: I think the other thing is I don't get it
Speaker 1: never felt as programmed where you're like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: breastfeed and then all of a sudden, you like turn
Speaker 1: around and you pivot to the pump machine and you're
Speaker 1: you got a stockpile of milk, right Like, it took
Speaker 1: my wife a while to get the milk in and
Speaker 1: so we had to actually use some other formula and
Speaker 1: then until that got done, and then and it was breastfeeding,
Speaker 1: and then we finally got to the point where there
Speaker 1: was enough where we could pump and store some and
Speaker 1: then I was on the night feeding. But like you think, like, okay, boom,
Speaker 1: this is how it's gonna work one, two, three, It
Speaker 1: doesn't like naturally like it's just it's different. Yeah to that,
Speaker 1: you just got to kind of play the game and
Speaker 1: see how it goes. I think what you find out
Speaker 1: is that you finish breastfeeding and then you're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: now I'm gonna pump and bank that. But you're like
Speaker 1: that's gonna take you another thirty minutes to pump a
Speaker 1: bottle's worth when you just want to go to sleep.
Speaker 1: So you're like you get to the point in I
Speaker 1: don't know how far in where you're like, okay, now
Speaker 1: is when I have the bandwidth to like sacrifice sleep
Speaker 1: for pumping. But it's a it's basically just my wife
Speaker 1: felt like she was a cow where she's like, I'm
Speaker 1: just I go from breastfeeding to them pumping, and then
Speaker 1: by the time I finished pumping, it's time to breastfeed again.
Speaker 1: And it's a never ending vicious site. And it also
Speaker 1: depends on how much the baby is eating, because if
Speaker 1: you if you breastfeed and then you pump, you're gonna
Speaker 1: be like, well, all of a sudden, the babies, you know,
Speaker 1: wants to eat again, and you're like, well, I don't
Speaker 1: have anymore because I fed and pumped. So then you know,
Speaker 1: your husband goes to give the baby the bottle and
Speaker 1: you're like, no, I pumped that bottle so I could
Speaker 1: go out to lunch with my friends later. That's my
Speaker 1: stowaway bottle. So then you start to be like no, no,
Speaker 1: So it's eventually the baby's gonna stop eating so much
Speaker 1: and you'll be able to stockpile some but until that
Speaker 1: point then it's going to be mathematical, mathematical. And to
Speaker 1: that end, I would say the benefit to the bottle
Speaker 1: feed as opposed to the breastfeed is that you can
Speaker 1: actually measure the volume intake. Like I became obsessed with like, okay,
Speaker 1: how many ounces do they need to be taking in?
Speaker 1: When you have a bottle, you can see there are
Speaker 1: three or four ounces in this bottle, whereas with your
Speaker 1: breast you're like, okay, they were on for ten minutes
Speaker 1: on each nipple, how much have they taken? I have
Speaker 1: no idea, Like sometimes they're just there. I don't know
Speaker 1: what you call like sucking without taking it in, and
Speaker 1: it's it's they're not getting the nutrients they need and
Speaker 1: you never really know. It's um. When did you start
Speaker 1: to have sex again? When did you want to and
Speaker 1: when was appropriate for your wife? Oh? Yes, Tori producer, Tori.
Speaker 1: When did you at what point of pregnancy do you
Speaker 1: start feeling weird having sex with your pregnant wife? Fellas,
Speaker 1: it's it starts off once she's showing, it starts off.
Speaker 1: You start you get that thought of, well, there's a
Speaker 1: kid in there, I can't be in there as well.
Speaker 1: I think it's hot, no, but I think it's total
Speaker 1: But then it becomes that. But in the beginning you're
Speaker 1: like the old the old joke of I don't want
Speaker 1: to like poke it in the head or anything. So
Speaker 1: in the beginning it's weird. But then you get past
Speaker 1: that and you and then it does become kind of hot.
Speaker 1: It becomes hot, and I also feel like it. It's
Speaker 1: not where you're like, do you stop wanting to have sex?
Speaker 1: I think you always wanting to have sex. I mean,
Speaker 1: at least I did. And it was like more her
Speaker 1: being like okay, like I can't even put my shoes on,
Speaker 1: Like the last thing I'm doing is taking my clothes
Speaker 1: off and having sex. Even though you're like, well, honey,
Speaker 1: you look great. I love it. You know. You don't
Speaker 1: try to sell say anything to make her happy. It's
Speaker 1: just like her comfort level. It's less of like us
Speaker 1: being like, no, I don't want to have sex because
Speaker 1: she's probably and that was the same with me. It's
Speaker 1: like she didn't feel great starting at a certain point
Speaker 1: where it's like I'm not going to force the issue,
Speaker 1: like she doesn't feel good and she does not want
Speaker 1: to have sex. So and did you have any weird
Speaker 1: like things after the baby was born about having sex again,
Speaker 1: like my kid came out of there and now I'm
Speaker 1: gonna like put this thing in there. It all depends
Speaker 1: on where it does. It does depend on where you
Speaker 1: were standing during the delivery that I think that alters
Speaker 1: the time for sure. Um yeah, but I think by
Speaker 1: the time she's ready to have sex again, I think
Speaker 1: you're past anything that any thoughts that you've had that
Speaker 1: made you hesitant. So really it ends up being on
Speaker 1: her clock. I think it's on our clock. And we're
Speaker 1: dumb man, and were you just want to have sex
Speaker 1: and I mean, we don't really care when and what
Speaker 1: it looked like. We just want to have sex. So
Speaker 1: that's my answer. What about afterwards though, Like I feel
Speaker 1: like on the way up, you're you're having you have
Speaker 1: a belly, and you're sort of supposed to so it's okay.
Speaker 1: But after I have the baby and I'm like deflating,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to feel hot or I don't. But
Speaker 1: that's why we said it's completely on her timetable, because
Speaker 1: I don't think you're gonna want to have sex for
Speaker 1: a little while. You can't for a while. But I'm
Speaker 1: saying after that point, I'm not going to be back
Speaker 1: in like tip top shape. But I don't know how
Speaker 1: I'm gonna feel about that is going to be closed. Well,
Speaker 1: you're not supposed to have closed. You can always put
Speaker 1: the drapes up. Listen. If having sex with was was
Speaker 1: based on when people are in tip top shape, the
Speaker 1: three of us would never have sex. I mean, look
Speaker 1: at us. Such a good point, Dmitri, that is pretty good. God,
Speaker 1: as a co host, you're crushing it. Thanks buddy, It's
Speaker 1: just an honor to be here. Anything else in your mind,
Speaker 1: Emily can ask one more? I do Okay, I said,
Speaker 1: I have my husband's turning forty two months after I
Speaker 1: give birth, and he's like a big birthday guy. And
Speaker 1: I've sort of set the table. Are you sure your
Speaker 1: husband's that Ryan? That is very true. So I've sort
Speaker 1: of planned the seed, like, if you want to do something,
Speaker 1: you have to let me know now, because once the
Speaker 1: baby comes, who knows. You're not gonna be planning a
Speaker 1: boat cruise around the harbor with a new ones to
Speaker 1: go to Pebble Beach and leave me with a two
Speaker 1: month old. And I don't think that that's very cool.
Speaker 1: He wants to have a guys guy. I think you
Speaker 1: might be all right with like get out of here
Speaker 1: and have your mom come down. No, I actually think
Speaker 1: he's got two two bachelor parties leading up to that.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think at two months, you're two
Speaker 1: months old, you're going to be like, get out of here,
Speaker 1: your mom's gonna come, and you're just gonna my my question.
Speaker 1: Was his mindset going to shift because right now it's
Speaker 1: all about his birthday being the best birthday of his life.
Speaker 1: I think Amy's wrong in that point. I think yes,
Speaker 1: when he sees the baby and the whether a girl
Speaker 1: or what. He's going to be so ecstatic. He's gonna
Speaker 1: want to be with the baby. You and I do
Speaker 1: remember going to work and then like texting my wife
Speaker 1: and be like, what's she doing now? Like the baby.
Speaker 1: So he will be a little more tached. He'll still
Speaker 1: want his birthday. But I agree with Amy, I think
Speaker 1: you might be better off to be like, listen, the
Speaker 1: bachelor party. Sorry, he's got to cut out something. Maybe
Speaker 1: the Bachelor parties that. I can't weigh in on that
Speaker 1: because that seems a little too much. But if if
Speaker 1: he wants to go have a forty at Pebble Beach,
Speaker 1: I honestly think you'd be like, get the hell out
Speaker 1: of here. It's me and the baby. Maybe you have
Speaker 1: a relative come or friend. I can't. But then at
Speaker 1: two months, did you hear Ryan's on a road trip
Speaker 1: at two months or a boat trip, a road trip?
Speaker 1: Road trip? You Sorry, I've been blacking out most of
Speaker 1: the times you talk because it's so inane and ridiculous.
Speaker 1: That's who's been leaving those comments. So no, at two months,
Speaker 1: like you, you are in the zone where you you
Speaker 1: have at that point developed a system that Okay, the
Speaker 1: baby eats x number of ours, like you're feeding on
Speaker 1: a clock, you're sleeping on a clock, and getting them
Speaker 1: on the road to do that. You're trying to get
Speaker 1: on that clock. And you're not even on that clock.
Speaker 1: You're too after two months now you're in you don't
Speaker 1: even know what day it is, you don't even know
Speaker 1: what's going And you don't want to go to Pebble
Speaker 1: Beach at two months. No, you don't, honestly, and this
Speaker 1: is not us Like doing your husband a solid send
Speaker 1: you don't have to plan a forty I send him
Speaker 1: away for the weekend. By the way, at two months,
Speaker 1: you don't want the kid around a bunch of other
Speaker 1: people on a road trip, like you're kind of trying
Speaker 1: to insulate them from the outside world. Yeah, you're gonna
Speaker 1: get home. You're not going to Pebble Beach to have
Speaker 1: scones and sit around. So you're not gonna bring a baby.
Speaker 1: But if I were, if I were him, and I
Speaker 1: feel as if in many ways I am him. Uh,
Speaker 1: we're all of question the the weighing it out going
Speaker 1: to Pebble Beach, Like the guilt when I was there
Speaker 1: would be so crippling that it would not be enjoyable.
Speaker 1: I would be there and and you have given me
Speaker 1: permission to be there, and I'd be like just feeling
Speaker 1: horrible that you're at home alone with the baby, and
Speaker 1: maybe your mom flew in, but like I would have
Speaker 1: to be chicked. I'd call you and tell you it
Speaker 1: would just be miserable. Don't do it. Don't do it alone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that's a huge ya. Don't bring somebody else
Speaker 1: in for sure, But do this. It's a bankable moment.
Speaker 1: He's gonna feel guilty. You're gonna, I mean, this is
Speaker 1: his forty birthday. Is gonna be a great present for you.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to how men think we are all against Ryan,
Speaker 1: and we have Christie here to be against me as well.
Speaker 1: She is our resident dietitian. She is also a mother
Speaker 1: of two, and she's here to help. I'm told Christie, welcome,
Speaker 1: Thank you, thanks for having me. We need your help. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm here right. Ryan needs your help, and we, by
Speaker 1: the way, we did give you the hosting responsibilities. Thank you.
Speaker 1: We're not all against you. Yeah, and also against you
Speaker 1: because of that, maybe don't introduce the guests with such snark. No,
Speaker 1: thanks for the tip. I'll remember that, so Christie helped I.
Speaker 1: I would say I have a lot of issues. I
Speaker 1: think maybe that's an understatement, but one of the things
Speaker 1: recently that I'm experiencing is like, we have two kids, Uh,
Speaker 1: like you am the weekends For me, I go through
Speaker 1: the entire work week, busy week, busy week. The weekends
Speaker 1: are supposed to be, in my mind, the time to
Speaker 1: recharge and go into Monday feeling good. I am more
Speaker 1: exhausted by Sunday night than I am. Like it's there's
Speaker 1: no recharging whatsoever because it's full on all weekend long,
Speaker 1: and I don't know how to solve for that. So
Speaker 1: is it sports? That's no. We have a two and
Speaker 1: a half year old and a four and a half
Speaker 1: month old, so he's basically like my wife has been
Speaker 1: taking the four and a half month old and like
Speaker 1: at all feed or two and a half year old
Speaker 1: at seven in the morning. He gets up at six
Speaker 1: and I'll take him out to the park at like eight,
Speaker 1: and then I'm out till eleven thirty to get him
Speaker 1: home to get lunch ready for I think you said
Speaker 1: it a couple episodes ago or a while ago. The
Speaker 1: best way you put it was I bring the older
Speaker 1: kid to the park and I run him like a dog,
Speaker 1: And all I think is, I can't wait till he
Speaker 1: passes out for a nap, because then I'm getting all
Speaker 1: I am doing. I live my life looking at the
Speaker 1: clock saying, okay, how many hours till nap? Then it's nap.
Speaker 1: Then you're like, how long is he going to sleep
Speaker 1: for this nap? Then he wakes up from that? How
Speaker 1: many hours until we get through dinner and bath and
Speaker 1: then get to put him down? Well, first of all,
Speaker 1: you're not alone. I think every parent feels that exact
Speaker 1: same way. But here's what I would suggest. Do you
Speaker 1: when he naps? What do you do? I try to
Speaker 1: get his dinner, Like I'm trying to get ahead of
Speaker 1: the curve to get his dinner ready so that when
Speaker 1: he's awake and he's wanting to do go scooter around
Speaker 1: the block and play te ball in the front yard,
Speaker 1: Like I don't have time to make his dinner. So
Speaker 1: I'm doing that, trying to help get bottles ready for
Speaker 1: with my wife for the four and a half month old,
Speaker 1: trying to like pick up all the toys that he
Speaker 1: left all around the house during the time that he
Speaker 1: was awake pre nap like there's a laundry list of
Speaker 1: things trying to do laundry. By the way, when you
Speaker 1: have a kid that still naps, you gotta you gotta
Speaker 1: nap because eventually that'll stop it, or just rest like
Speaker 1: so you're getting ahead, but then all you're doing is
Speaker 1: free got more time to do other stuff. I'll tell you.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you what. He doesn't have to go
Speaker 1: around the block all the time. Throw him a toy
Speaker 1: in the living room and make a bottle. Here's what
Speaker 1: I do the most of the time. I don't take
Speaker 1: a nap because my wife I'm trying to give her.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to give her some sanity, and she will
Speaker 1: go to yoga. The one thing she gets to do
Speaker 1: all day on the weekend, on the Saturday and Sunday
Speaker 1: is at one o'clock go to yoga. She does it
Speaker 1: at one o'clock to help me. Because I've said, having
Speaker 1: both kids at the same time, I want to kill myself.
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to have a panic attack. So
Speaker 1: when the two and a half year old goes down
Speaker 1: for his nap, I can just have the four and
Speaker 1: a half month old. When she goes to yoga, and
Speaker 1: I'll strap him to my chest and literally pace up
Speaker 1: and down my walkway outside because when he's crying, I
Speaker 1: don't want him to wake up, the two and a
Speaker 1: half year old to screw my entire freaking day. Wow,
Speaker 1: that's loaded. Um, I kind of agree. I Mean, the
Speaker 1: bottom line is I hear what you're saying, and I
Speaker 1: think it's awesome. What a great husband that you're trying
Speaker 1: to relieve your wife of. You know, give her a break,
Speaker 1: But you also need that for your sanity. You're you're
Speaker 1: gonna be a better dad, in a way, better husband.
Speaker 1: So somehow, some way, I mean, I can start way
Speaker 1: early and go to a meditation point. But there's something
Speaker 1: you have to be able to do for yourself to
Speaker 1: kind of decompress, Like you have to be able to
Speaker 1: because that what you just described sounds like hell. And
Speaker 1: if that's your weekend, every weekend, you're not gonna be
Speaker 1: You're going to fall apart. Here's the challenge. It's one
Speaker 1: of the other. So it's like, Okay, take a nap. Well,
Speaker 1: I want to also, so my wife will give me
Speaker 1: the same time she goes to yoga, Like she'll give
Speaker 1: me in the morning time an hour to go work out,
Speaker 1: and I'll choose my time to work out, which is
Speaker 1: also good for my sanity, and I'd rather do that
Speaker 1: than take a nap. So it's one or the other.
Speaker 1: So it's a trade of like, what are you gonna choose.
Speaker 1: I'll choose to work out, otherwise I'm gonna be more
Speaker 1: miserable than if I don't take a nap. Do you
Speaker 1: take any deep breaths during the day. I know it
Speaker 1: sounds like I'm being sarcastic, but to be honest, and
Speaker 1: I'm not being a dick. You sound so wounded, like
Speaker 1: t take a deep breath? Man Like you're like, You're like,
Speaker 1: if I don't do this one thing, what I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to do with this whole thing is going to fall apart.
Speaker 1: And it's not true. Agree, Christie, What were you asking
Speaker 1: box breathing? Do you know what box breathing is? You
Speaker 1: should try this? That was we did that during four play.
Speaker 1: That's how we got you stick your stick your head
Speaker 1: out the bag. My wife says, I'm a great box
Speaker 1: by okay, one, probably not true to that's not what
Speaker 1: we're talking about. Then for five, hold for six and
Speaker 1: it's one one thousand two, one thousand three, and then
Speaker 1: you breathe out slowly for eight. Maybe not into the
Speaker 1: mic five six eight is that? But you you have
Speaker 1: to find a way. I agree with you. You're you're
Speaker 1: just running completely on not enough energy, that's for sure.
Speaker 1: But it's just it's constant. So, I mean, there's not
Speaker 1: a lot of solutions. My biggest solution is going to
Speaker 1: be got to find time to just decompress during the day,
Speaker 1: like you are with the kids, even if you have
Speaker 1: to set them down like they're the parent guilt thing
Speaker 1: of giving them a toy and be like, hey, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just be over here. You don't have to interact
Speaker 1: with them all the time, like even those little bouncy things.
Speaker 1: Do you have that for the four month old? Do
Speaker 1: you have any like a little seat that he can
Speaker 1: just chill in for a bit. Yes, okay, But I
Speaker 1: was ridiculed for bringing that to our weekend trip away,
Speaker 1: being told I brought all these unnecessary things, but thank
Speaker 1: you for bringing that up. That's the most important thing
Speaker 1: you could ever bring with you. Ridiculed your wife, know
Speaker 1: all you morons told me that I brought too much
Speaker 1: in the car and I didn't need any of you
Speaker 1: know that you bring. We're talking about bringing two strollers
Speaker 1: and a pack and playing a back and the stand up.
Speaker 1: The standy thing that Christie is saying is, let's let's
Speaker 1: clarify the standing thing that twirls around, that huge plastic thing.
Speaker 1: You don't need to bring out your vacations if it's
Speaker 1: a little tiny bucket thing that you you move with
Speaker 1: your foot while you're it's. Yeah, you pack like your
Speaker 1: favorite china that you like to eat, your lobster, roll
Speaker 1: on like you went overboard. Oh my gosh, that's so funny.
Speaker 1: Any questions, older guy, you have to do it like, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I got a question. Why did you refer to the
Speaker 1: older guy? Maybe why are we in the same graduating class?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's amazing. I'm sorry, I meant people
Speaker 1: with older children. Rick, what is your question for Christie?
Speaker 1: I don't really have a question, but but um, I
Speaker 1: do travel quite a bit for work, and so sometimes
Speaker 1: when I come home, or a lot of times when
Speaker 1: I come home, it's really challenging for me to kind
Speaker 1: of then put myself back into the family, even with
Speaker 1: my wife, but also with my kids. And so she's
Speaker 1: been dealing. She's been doing stuff, but like I'll come
Speaker 1: home and I probably sound a lot like Ryan, where
Speaker 1: I'm like, I mean, why why is that? Why is
Speaker 1: that over there? Like what you know, like why are
Speaker 1: the why is? Why is aren't the not? Why isn't
Speaker 1: the laundry done? Because that sounds really bad, but like
Speaker 1: why is it the laundry done? Why you've been You've
Speaker 1: been dealing with my kids for the last eight days
Speaker 1: while I've been traveling, you know, like, but it is
Speaker 1: something that's hard for me, and so like re entry
Speaker 1: is super hard, and even with my kids, it's like
Speaker 1: I'll come home and I was just on a trip
Speaker 1: recently and I came home and it literally was the
Speaker 1: first day and I was feeling good about the re entry.
Speaker 1: I'm like calm, I was nice with everybody. And then
Speaker 1: my son came home and he's thirteen, and he was like,
Speaker 1: all of a SUDDEN'M like, hey, you gotta you know,
Speaker 1: you gotta clean up your room. And it was like
Speaker 1: I started kind of bossing him around, Like what I
Speaker 1: not bossing, I'm just telling him to do stuff right
Speaker 1: like I would normally do. And he's the first thing
Speaker 1: you said to him, Now when you know, no no,
Speaker 1: is that not the definition of bossing? Confused? I gave him,
Speaker 1: I gave him a hug and was like, hey, clean
Speaker 1: up your room. No no, But he was like, Dad,
Speaker 1: every time you you're away, you come home and you
Speaker 1: think you own the place. And I was kind and
Speaker 1: it hurts by the way, you are kind of his
Speaker 1: boss too, and you do own the place. That kind
Speaker 1: of go through my head. Yeah, And so it's hard
Speaker 1: because I'm trying to ballo where yes, I'm also trying
Speaker 1: to pick up the slack of where my wife maybe
Speaker 1: left off, where it's like, hey, I'm coming in to
Speaker 1: try to help you. Now his rooms like a mess,
Speaker 1: and now I'll buckle down on it and get it
Speaker 1: done for you, and I'll start helping him. Well, he's
Speaker 1: got to do it. That's good because totally backfired. There's
Speaker 1: nothing worse than coming in and being like the kid's
Speaker 1: best friend after the wife kept it together for eight
Speaker 1: days or whatever, because then she's like, then you come
Speaker 1: in and you're the Yeah, exactly, and she's the disciplinarian.
Speaker 1: It's good on you for trying to do that. See,
Speaker 1: my thought was and looked by any by no means
Speaker 1: my a parenting expert. So let's just get that clear.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have a ten year old and a twelve
Speaker 1: year old. But what I would say in that moment,
Speaker 1: because he's clearly telling you something right when he's like, Dad,
Speaker 1: what do you think you're doing? I don't know at
Speaker 1: what point it went from warming up like hey, how
Speaker 1: is the week? How did you know? Like that kind
Speaker 1: of thing into clean your room? But I would think
Speaker 1: that if there was some good like communication, like let's
Speaker 1: sit down and I want to hear about that game
Speaker 1: or what happened in school, like really warming up to
Speaker 1: him and connecting first, and then be like, hey, buddy,
Speaker 1: I just noticed, would you know, instead of yeah, like
Speaker 1: a little bit softer versus kind of I think he
Speaker 1: probably feels like you haven't even been here all week.
Speaker 1: Now you're coming in and just telling me to claim
Speaker 1: my real dad. Well well, and I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: know if exactly how it went down, but I'm just like,
Speaker 1: and the other thing is it's coming back from an
Speaker 1: international trip, like I didn't sleep the whole way home
Speaker 1: or get travel international. You're a big deal. No no, no, no,
Speaker 1: not at all, not at all. But I'm exhausted as well,
Speaker 1: so it's hard to come in and then like you know,
Speaker 1: I'm and then I come in and that that interaction happens,
Speaker 1: and then I might go sleep by nine o'clock. By
Speaker 1: the way, I don't think. I just feel like kind
Speaker 1: of a dead beat dad. But as long as you're
Speaker 1: not coming in and yelling at him, in my opinion,
Speaker 1: like just because you were gone for a couple of
Speaker 1: days doesn't mean you don't come back in the same
Speaker 1: role as to where you left. So there should be
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with telling your kids to clean up. And
Speaker 1: just because you haven't been around like you were going
Speaker 1: for a few days, if you're coming in freeman at him,
Speaker 1: that's a different story. No, and I wasn't. Here's the
Speaker 1: other thing, which is maybe a little bit layer deeper,
Speaker 1: where I feel like my wife is giving during that time,
Speaker 1: is like sure, you guys want ice cream, Let's go
Speaker 1: get ice cream. Yeah, sure, you don't need to do homework,
Speaker 1: you know, And so like I'm coming in even with
Speaker 1: that layer of like anxiety or whatever you want to
Speaker 1: call it. That's what I said back, And I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: it's easy for you because your mom gives you everything
Speaker 1: when I'm gone, you know, and so then it's like, wait,
Speaker 1: did I just come out Ryan? You're off the hook, dude.
Speaker 1: That's more of a this is more of a marriage
Speaker 1: type of problem, because that would be that would be
Speaker 1: a real big issue. Have you too talked about that?
Speaker 1: Like they don't speak this year? She says, since I've
Speaker 1: gone back from my trip, she said, let's talk about
Speaker 1: it over ice cream, And no, we haven't quite talked
Speaker 1: about you because that is really difficult if there is that,
Speaker 1: you know, where she's kind of doing everything and catering
Speaker 1: and not really setting down some boundaries and rules, and
Speaker 1: then you're coming in and trying to set some when
Speaker 1: you haven't been home. That that's going to make it
Speaker 1: real for sure. But I mean, I don't know do
Speaker 1: you when you come back though, in terms of just
Speaker 1: that connection and when you're gone, do you FaceTime with
Speaker 1: the kids? Like what's the interaction while you're away? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know that's a great question. I do FaceTime with him.
Speaker 1: I did call him a lot more than I normally
Speaker 1: did on this particular trip, um, just for I don't
Speaker 1: I think I was a little bit gone longer than
Speaker 1: I normally am um, But yeah, I was communicating a
Speaker 1: lot more and checking in a lot more and that
Speaker 1: was good good, and those conversations go, well, they're very great, Okay, okay, awesome.
Speaker 1: So was it just this one time that he's like, Dad,
Speaker 1: you think you're coming or is this kind of a
Speaker 1: pattern where you come back from a trip and it
Speaker 1: is sort of this like the Dad, I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: kind of getting into it and surgeon it's a pattern,
Speaker 1: but it's also I think like my behavior pattern where
Speaker 1: I'm coming in, I'm tired, I'm exhausted from a trip
Speaker 1: to travel, things aren't I'm super overly anal and so
Speaker 1: things aren't totally exactly how I like it, and so
Speaker 1: that I'm like, I start getting stressed and well that
Speaker 1: may be something you and then I'm taking it out
Speaker 1: on you might have to let go of though. That's
Speaker 1: the other part two of like you come in and
Speaker 1: everything is not like then you're already you're exhausted, and
Speaker 1: you're annoyed by the fact that things aren't the way
Speaker 1: you left it. That kind of stuff might just have
Speaker 1: to by the way, we kind of felt that today.
Speaker 1: We kind of felt that way, like you came in
Speaker 1: like you owned this place, and that's why we're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, give the lead, Mike Ryan, because Rick's
Speaker 1: acting like he owns a place he isn't like where
Speaker 1: everything is. And yeah, some of the small stuff you
Speaker 1: just gotta like you know what I mean. But you
Speaker 1: sound like a great doubt dad. Honestly you really do.
Speaker 1: Not a great husband, but a great dad. The marriage
Speaker 1: could use some work, but the parent. The good news
Speaker 1: is his wife is a big fan of the podcast
Speaker 1: and she'll listen to this all and she'll she'll be
Speaker 1: so appreciative that you that you've already had the conversation
Speaker 1: before we go. Yeah, I need you all to do something.
Speaker 1: We need you three to go home and talk to
Speaker 1: your wives because they are going to host the show.
Speaker 1: My wife left me. I've already talked to Rick's wife.
Speaker 1: She's in. Can you guys ask your wives because we
Speaker 1: are going for Mother's Day which is coming up soon,
Speaker 1: we would like them to take over. So can you
Speaker 1: get back to us on that. Sure, I'll see what
Speaker 1: I can text her right now. Oh, she said no,
Speaker 1: so it's a Mother's Day episode or it's on Mother's
Speaker 1: Day because I have a separate thing about Mother's Day,
Speaker 1: Like is that really a holiday? Hey? Control free don't. Hey,
Speaker 1: you're not our for her for what? Like for fathers,
Speaker 1: do you want to be with your family? Or it's
Speaker 1: do you want to be by yourself? Like do you
Speaker 1: want that's a great question, Like for Father's Day? Do
Speaker 1: you want to be sent away for it's Father's Day.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go play golf with all my buddies and
Speaker 1: get hammered. I can't be half and half. I think
Speaker 1: I would want exactly No. I would want to do
Speaker 1: something with the family, like do brunch, have like a
Speaker 1: nice brunch or something like that, and then I want
Speaker 1: you to send me to a spa for the next
Speaker 1: couple of hours. So I would I would prefer to
Speaker 1: a married people the people in the world that really
Speaker 1: don't care to spend time with their significant other, Like
Speaker 1: wouldn't you want to maybe just have a babysitter for
Speaker 1: the kids and then you go out with just your husband?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no. See, married people don't like switch time
Speaker 1: spend time with Like yeah, I'm kind of like I'd
Speaker 1: rather be with the kids and Kurt versus just me
Speaker 1: and Kurt. I don't know, I don't get a nast
Speaker 1: We will continue all these topics, but next week is sex,
Speaker 1: So everybody, everybody, go home and have sex. We gotta
Speaker 1: talk about sounds like my marriage. Alright, Hey, Rick, Ryan,
Speaker 1: go home and have sex so we can talk about
Speaker 1: it next week. Be ready, guys, because next week is juicy. Wait, Ian,
Speaker 1: can you do the sign off since Brooks isn't here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to harness myner Brooks. Uh, this has been
Speaker 1: a great episode. Thank you, and remember to care for
Speaker 1: one another, love one another, touch one another, and you
Speaker 1: hold one real quick. We miss something, Christie. How can
Speaker 1: people find you if they want to get in touch
Speaker 1: with you? And Uh, she's not great at she's not,
Speaker 1: but Brooks always says, that's always and nice. Thanks for
Speaker 1: thinking of me, by the way, that's very kind. You
Speaker 1: have an Instagram. He rolled his eyes after he asked
Speaker 1: the question. It's just not an Instagram business Instagram. Let's
Speaker 1: wrap it up. She's she's she's old. I would say
Speaker 1: Cam Sports Nutrition dot Com. Too complicated. All right, that's
Speaker 1: see you next week. We'll see you next week. Tell
Speaker 1: all your friends to download this episode. We want more
Speaker 1: listens than any of the ones that Brooks has hosted. Okay,
Speaker 1: tell your friends subscribe, unsubscribe, resubscribe, unsubscribe, and resubscribe. Okay,
Speaker 1: we need Brooks out. Goodbye everybody,